Social System of Islam 39 – Marital Relations 4 Husbands Rights

Jamal Badawi


Channel: Jamal Badawi


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In the name of God the benevolent the Merciful, the creator and Sustainer of the universe, peace and blessings upon the servant and messenger Muhammad forever mean, I greet you in our usual fashion assalamu Aleikum, which means peace be unto you. Today we have our 39th program in our series dealing with the social system of Islam. We'll be continuing our discussion of the topic of marital relations in Islam, continuing our discussion of the rights of the wife and then going on to some discussion of the rights of the husband. I have joining me on the program as usual. Dr. Jamal, betta. We have St. Mary's University, brother Jamal Assalamu alaykum Honey,

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can I ask you to quickly highlight the main points that we touched on in last week's program?

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Like your brother Hamlet, this continues on the discussion of medicine relationship, actually, it's the third in the subject dealing with the rights of the wife.

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Yeah, yesterday or I should say last time last program, we talked about the

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obligation, mainly of the husband to gratify the instinctive needs of his wife in terms of matrimonial relationships.

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And what the Islamic law provide by way of enforcement to make sure that she's not she's not deprived of her natural rights.

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And then we talked about some related or allied subjects, one dealt with the so called birth control. And we indicated that special individual cases where there is a good reason for that there is no evidence that it is unlawful. In other words, it may be permissible.

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Likewise, we discussed briefly about abortion. You indicated that it is the basic rule that it is unlawful except for saving the life of the mother or as some jurists, but not all at the case of certainty about the deformity of the fetus in early stages.

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And we said that this unlawfulness becomes even much greater

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if the fetus is four months old or beyond

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the final question that was raised that with the so called test tube baby, even though I don't believe it invigorate is produced in a test tube, I think it's a misnomer, but I've been using the tube for some as an aging factors and fertilization. And again, we indicated that there are different cases, they might be the case of blockage in the Fallopian tube, where the egg comes from the mother and the sperm come from the Father, but they are simply fertilized, artificial, fertilized in a test tube and then re implanted and the the mother's uterus in which case we said that the tendency among Judas is that this is permissible is just an eating or like treatment of

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infertility. The other case is the artificial insemination involving a sperm of another person other than the husband and he said that the the tendency among jurist is that this is unbelievable, because it's some kind of what I call like adultery by proxy, and that leads also to confusion about the true lineage of the child. The final question that with the surrogate motherhood,

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where the

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the egg comes from the real mother, the sperm come from the Father, but instead of implanting the fertilized egg in the mother's womb, it is implanted in another hired woman to act as a surrogate mother. And then we indicated

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the reasons why many jurists considered that to be inconsistent

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with Islamic law, even though some ended by saying may be in some

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extreme circumstances.

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It may not be regarded as totally out of question. But I'd like to begin today's program by asking you perhaps to expand a bit on that can we infer from that that there may be some situations where surrogate motherhood would be considered an appropriate and justifiable one, a simple

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one. This has to be put really in a very delicate way and perhaps I could

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You, the jurist who

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address that particular issue because it's a contemporary issue. We have not heard from many other jurists, whether they agree or disagree with him, let's shift use of qaradawi in his book fatawa masala, which means contemporary verdicts.

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After he mentioned the various of the various reservation that we discussed last time, about spoiling the nature of motherhood and leading to confusion,

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he ended by saying that this is more food on charter and non stop and he said it's rejected as an approach from the point of view of standard law. And actually, it should be forbidden. However, in page on page 498, of the same book, he said that if the scientist or people working in that field, this regard this basic rules

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pertaining to ethics and pertaining to the natural creation of God and how they tried to go around this, sometimes unjustifiably, he said, if this happened to be a spread widespread

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means, then in order to reduce its evil,

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there must must be some controls. So his reference to controls may give the impression that it's something which is highly desirable, highly rejected, if you will. But should it happen? The according to the basic rules and Islamic jurisprudence, one should try his best to reduce the even of that technique.

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And he said, for example, that one of those controls is that the surrogate mothers must be a married woman to start with, because otherwise, it might raise a question about the chastity of the mother, the surrogate mother, I mean, if the surrogate mother is unmarried girl, and then she gets pregnant as a result of this implantation. I mean, there's some questions that might be raised about her reputation.

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Secondly, that not only should this woman or mother be married, she should also have the permission of her husband, to act as a surrogate mother, because this will affect his rights as a husband, and we'll see some ways it greatly affects his interest.

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A third is that she cannot

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have this or, you know, have this implantation on this assertion waiting period, roughly three months has elapsed, between the last time that her husband had any intimate relationship with her, or else, the fetus would not be certain known to be whether it belongs to her real husband, or to the other woman who hired her for the job.

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Firstly, said that, in Islamic law, the father of the fetus or the child,

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whichever the case, is totally responsible for the maintenance, both of the child when he's born and for the child and mother, or the fetus and the mother, which means that the full responsibility of maintenance would fall on the shoulder not of the husband of that hired woman, but on the real father, of the fetus, in her womb.

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Firstly, that all the rules pertaining to suckling and prohibition in marriage, as a result of suckling would apply, because the surrogate mother would be regarded, in fact, in a position of a mother and for example, the child cannot marry her

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or her children, for that matter.

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But he concludes, however, and this is something I think we have to be very careful about that he said, the best thing is not to get into that. And this measures are just mentioned as controls. If it is an evil already that is present, how could you possibly reduce the extent of that evil, but it again, seem to be quite inconsistent with the spirit of Islamic law.

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In the vein of visa contemporary issues,

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there's another area that I'd like to touch upon, and that's the sole question of determination of the sex of the of the offspring has been suggested that the mate the time may not be too far distant when

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the parents eventually may be able to choose the sex of their child.

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I've been listening and getting your opinion of the Islamic

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viewpoint of this from Islamic law point of view. Okay To start with, as a non specialist, I must say that, to the best of my knowledge, this has not succeeded yet in humans. But there is literature about the various experiments made on animals, but so far, I haven't heard of this being done in human embryology. It's a matter really, that relate to genetics. Genetic engineering is something

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But also my cold.

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And as you know, the sex of the fetus is determined largely by the sperm. And this is just a matter of finding what kinds of genes are there, you know, the various X and Y combinations that genetic people

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are geneticists geneticist, speak about. So the theory behind it was that if the the nature of the genes,

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male or female can be determined early, it may be possible to, let's say, obtain the sperm from the Father and choose in the lab, the one of the sperm with the main genes, and again, fertilize the egg artificially, or in the test tube, and then implant that in the womb of the mother and as such, hoping a scientist maybe to be able to

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choose the sex of the child. Now, some of the questions that some people may raise about this, especially from Muslim point of view, they may say that the Quran after all indicates that, as one verse says, Allah, create whatever he pleases, he gives to some males, it gives to some parents, only females, or give both male and female to the same parents, or even make whoever he wishes infotype or Baron

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A process like this need not necessarily be regarded as constituting creation, you're not really competing with God and creation, because you're not creating anything like the Quran says humans will not be able to create even a fly, even if they put all their efforts into it. Because creation means to have something from nothing.

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But in the case of artificial fertilization like this, you're really talking about something that God has already created. So it may not necessarily contradict from it. I'm just looking at it from that standpoint. And the Quran also indicates one method

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that you cannot win, or desire or want really or succeed to achieve anything unless it is by live or permission from God. That's one point, a second point which relate also not to this issue, but to the issue of trying to find out the sex of the embryo already in the womb of the mother through certain tests.

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And some might say that

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this is erroneous because it contradicts the verse in the Quran, Allahu Allah Mehta said that God knows what any thought what every female verse in her womb.

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But again, this might be stretching the meaning of the verse too much, because the knowledge, for example, as to whether the fetus in the womb of the mother is male or female,

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does not necessarily mean that you've got all the knowledge about him. So the verse could be referring actually to the knowledge of God, not only about the sex of the fetus, but about the character of the person, what his life would be when he or she is gonna die, what destiny that person may be

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So this may not necessarily be regarded as interference,

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or encroachment on the domain of God. The same mascot that I was referring to at the securities checklist qaradawi has mentioned that also in the same book I quoted earlier, and he said, it is not really regarded as such, however, it is better, it is much preferable not to try to do this and to leave this to the will of God rather than trying to as if you're just shopping for a particular child, there are very serious consequences. Of course, if this becomes readily available,

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lots of abuses

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could be in store.

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But now we've covered a number of issues, dealing with the rights of the wife, I'd like to shift the discussion now to a discussion of some of the rights of the husband. Could you give us some idea about the rights of the husband? Okay, we've been asking the picture now.

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If it's husband's turn, I think perhaps one of the most concise sayings of Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him to reflect the wives, the husbands right which his wife's obligation

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is saying that was narrated in an essay and no magic

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in which he basically says that the best of women that's the most list of wives

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is the wife. Who, if you look at her, she plays this you

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if you ask

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How to do something. She obeys you. And if you're away or absent, she

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safeguards her chastity and your possessions or profit.

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Let me just take the first one is another lady that has had when he looks at her as she pleases Him. In fact, this portion of the prophetic saying is simply an echoing of one beautiful verse in the Quran describing believers. And it says when the the nyako do not have been a Happy Planner, as well as Gina was a reaction kurata was

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the those who pray, oh, Lord, grant unto us wives, and offsprings who will be the appearance of our eyes or the coolness of our eyes, and make us models for the righteous.

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In other words, as we have seen, in previous programs dealing with the rights of the wife,

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we indicated that it is an obligation on the Muslim husband according to Islamic law,

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not to hurt his wife, to respect her and to treat her in love and consideration. The picture should be balanced, she also should be required and expected to respect her husband, not to hurt him, and to treat him in love and consideration.

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We have seen that a Muslim husband, and we have proved that in so many of us from so many angles and previous programs, is asked to

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do his best to look after the well being and the comfort of Islam. It is only fair to expect that the wife also will do her best to look after his well being and his comfort.

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But in addition to this brothers concept, which is not just a reflection of another I have looked at her in just a physical sense, it goes beyond that. But in addition to that also it does not

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rule out another meaning of looking at her that is to be cheerful that the wife should be cheerful to her husband. And as such achieved the purpose of marriage, which the Quran mentioned. And he quoted the verses before to provide soothing comfort and tranquility for the husband, which means that the husband would not come home to find a grounding in a grouchy, grim, frowning, quiet, bombarding him with all kinds of problems before he even

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say, peace be upon us have some

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something serious, it does not also preclude something more specific, that the wife, Muslim mind is urged and encouraged to beautify herself for her husband to look her best for her husband. Not that every time he comes home, she not comping her hair, wearing his apron and smelling onion from cooking and say Honey, you know, this. In other words, she has some obligation also to satisfy him to look her best. Now, we're not saying Of course, that she should always look like a beauty queen or something of that sort. nor are we saying that she should violate the various Islamic etiquette pertaining to the limits of atonement and with whom and whether that should be limited to the home

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or outside. This we have covered already in series on moral teaching of Islam. But what I'm simply saying is that

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sometimes in our civilization, the things are put upside down. In many cases, the wife would look headrest, which is going out in the company of other people other than her husband, which is again against Islam, which it should not be this this way. Whereas in the home with her husband, she looks her worst

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Islamic perspective. This is just like putting things upside down. She should look good in both both ways, but at least adornment and beautification and looking really appealing is something that should be reserved really to the home not for the eyes of others on lookers.

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In fact, just to make the picture, balanced again, it is not only an obligation on the wife, because Islam does not regard the life simply as an object of pleasure. But as if not best, one of the great companions of Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him put it very nicely. He said indeed, as a Liberace committed as a unity. I try to look handsome, and to look my best to my wife as she looks to me, or as she's expected to look also how best to me. And then he cited a verse in the Quran in chapter two verse 187. Well, I wouldn't I missed that era.

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Have a model that is for women or for wives that are rights, similar to the rights of their husbands over them.

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In other words, expectations should be also mutual. But this all relate to the topic or the issue of the first portion of the saying, if he looks at her, she pleases.

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Now, you mentioned that a wife should obey her husband.

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I'd like to ask you if you could give some explanation of the, the basis of this of this right? I think this This is perhaps a very

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interesting and significant area to explore. Because many times when you mentioned the word, obedience,

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everybody has his own conception as to what obedience really entails. For some obedience is total subordination subjection for some

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obedience mean unquestioned, acceptance, authority, absolute authority. For some, they might look at obedience as lack of stubbornness and cooperative attitude. So I think it's quite important to make sure what is really meant. But to address your question first, what are the basis for that obedience? What is the authentic reference to that, maybe I can give a reference to a key verse in the Quran that deal with that subject, that Ephesians chapter three, verse 34,

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describing the pious women, that's from the stomach standpoint, it says Assad had connotation, half a verse from the lady than a half of Allah,

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that the pious women, is righteous women are obedient. And this is interpreted to mean obedient both to God and to their husbands.

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And, and what shows that actually prefer also the husband, the remaining part says, half a lot to them, right, which means that they are in the absence of their husbands. They are safeguarding, or they safeguard what God wanted them to safeguard. That is what was mentioned previously to preserve or to safeguard their chastity and the property of their husband to regard that as a trust.

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In fact, the portion immediately even before that, it says, a richardo una de Missa de la vida home, or the man says, men, meaning husbands are kawaman, which is translated usually maintained as protectors of women meaning wives, because God made some of them, Excel over the others, that's the closest translation I can give, because God made some of them Excel

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over the others, and because they that is men spent, or expense of their sustenance, that is their financial responsibility for the family.

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Now, the word kawaman, which appears in this verse is quite significant.

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And sometimes there are difficulties intercession, a woman kawaman Arabic means common estate, somebody who stood up for something which could carry a number of shades of meaning, that the husbands are responsible for the maintenance of their families, their wives, it could mean that they are protectors of the waves they are in charge are ones who look after protection and security, both security in the physical sense as well as psychological security. That is also part of the meaning. It's not only just physical, it could also mean being responsible for the leadership of the family, these are all shades of meaning, which falls within the word, Columbo.

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It This means then, that according to that verse, which is regarded by Muslims as a divine command, a divine directive,

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the husband

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has the ultimate responsibility to be the head or to be the leader of the particular family unit. But of course, we're talking here about obedience and leadership in the Islamic sense.

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Well, it appears from what you've said that some English translations of this verse give perhaps an incorrect meaning. Some suggest that

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meaning which would have one believe that men are superior to a woman. Could you perhaps actually sometimes this way,

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I think this is this is an erroneous translation. I'll give you the evidence for this. First of all, it should be made clear that there is no

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Single Quranic text, which categorically says that men are superior to women,

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that that's non existent. There's nothing like that in the Quran.

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None even in any prophetic tradition that I'm familiar with.

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And if this is the case, if you if you read translate the English translation back to Arabic, it will give you a totally different thing from what you find in the Quran.

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If it is true that the Quran infers from this or means that men are superior to women,

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and you translate that to Arabic, it would read a region of dominance. And there is no such verse in the Quran, the text does not say that.

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And secondly, the verse even did not say that God made men categorically, Excel, women, period, in every respect, because again, if you translate retranslate, that to Arabic, it reads, then Allah Maha Nisa added a vigil, Allah Nisa,

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it, there is no such verse in the Quran. So both of these translations are obviously erroneous, because once you put it back into Arabic, it gives you something totally different from what you find in the verse.

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Not only this, there's something quite interesting, even in the grammatical structures of that verse.

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It says, men are in charge, or men are maintainers, and responsible for their wives. And that says, because God made some of them, Excel over the others.

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And there is a question here, who are them?

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And what are those others and excelling? In what sense? Let me give you a number or two at least interpretations for this. One interpretation, which I know I do not necessarily agree with. But we mentioned it though, is that it says that the pronoun used in that verse, them by the home in Arabic is really a masculine pronoun is used for masculine. However, they say, as a grammatical rule in the Arabic language, you can use also the masculine pronoun to refer to both men and women not necessarily or to men's, alright. And according to a rule in the Arabic grammar called a Talib, it still can be used to refer to both which means that not that men are made prefer

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categorically to women, it does not necessarily mean that but it could mean that God made some of them, whether they are men or women, excel in some aspects or respects or the other, over others, which could be men or women, which does not necessarily specify a particular sex.

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However, this explanation is valid, grammatically speaking, and maybe the verse might be giving a hint at that. But the second opinion, which I feel to be more reasonable, is that the context of this verse deals with marital relationships. In fact, the immediate portion after this part, it says because then spent of their sustenance. So it seems to refer that the overall extended excellent or excellence, or the extra that God has given to men actually refers to one particular aspect pertaining to the leadership of the family, and shouldering the burden of the financial, emotional and other needs of the family as being heads of the of the household. But even then, this has no

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connotation whatsoever with overall superiority. We'll stop at that point today and perhaps come back and develop this point a little bit further. Next week. We want to thank you for watching our program Assalamu alaikum peace PMP