Role Of The Muslim Family The Cornerstone

Navaid Aziz


Channel: Navaid Aziz

File Size: 18.18MB

Episode Notes

Share Page

Transcript ©

AI generated text may display inaccurate or offensive information that doesn’t represent Muslim Central's views. Thus,no part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever.

00:00:29--> 00:00:45

jongen hamdulillah Nakamoto who wanna Steena who won istockphoto one out of India human surely unforeseen a woman say er Dr. Medina, Mayor de la Fernando de la la woman, who for la hora de la

00:00:46--> 00:00:59

ilaha illallah wa la sharika. Wash. I don't know Muhammad Abdul Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa alayhi wa was so happy he was so limited Sleeman kathira, about

00:01:02--> 00:01:38

when you're waiting for a lecture to come in, you have all this energy, you know, literally jumping inside of you, and you can't help but move around. And right now as I stand at this podium, it I feel almost restricted in Why can I walk around on the stage? Why can I just move around to let all of that energy out? So within the heats, I'm hoping that you know, that energy will transcend through the words be the lights are lessons that can transcend through the actions. I want to start off this lecture by, you know, one of my classic jokes for those of you who know me, you know, I only have like a handful of jokes that I tell, but inshallah, when I tell them, hopefully, you know,

00:01:38--> 00:01:40

the I tell them quite well.

00:01:41--> 00:01:44

And you guys are already laughing Mashallah, you know, how amazing is that.

00:01:47--> 00:02:27

And it is actually quite comical that you'll see one of the most interesting parts of counseling is the way a husband and wife communicate with one another. And a pivotal point in every relationship, especially with a husband and wife is how they react to conflict amongst themselves. How did they react once they've gone into a fight and what happens. And if you pay close attention to that, you'll see that there's some quite comical moments that take place. And I want to share a comical incident that took place, a husband and wife were traveling to, you know, a faraway land. And before they began their journey, they had gotten into a fight. So you can imagine the writing in the car,

00:02:27--> 00:02:55

there's this air of dim discomfort in on air, so thick and tense, literally, that you could cut it with a knife. So now as they're traveling in the car, you know, let's just say they're going through Alberta, they see this form outside, and the husband starts smiling. And then all of a sudden, you hear the car, the cows mooing, and you know, the dogs are barking and the donkeys are bringing in the animals are making their noise. And the husband goes to his wife, let me guess the relatives of yours.

00:02:57--> 00:03:05

Now, you may think that the joke is over. But for those of you who are married, you'll know that the wife always has the final say, and she says, Yeah, they're my in laws.

00:03:09--> 00:03:30

So be the law, he Tyler. And this lecture and discussion now if I were to be the Knights or that I wanted to talk about a pivotal pillar in our community, a pivotal pillar in every society, in every line in every nation. And that is the family and its role in the Muslim community. Specifically,

00:03:31--> 00:04:15

you will see that in every society and in every community, the family plays a very pivotal role. And throughout history, if you were to look at society's moral fabric, if you were to look at society's level of discipline, if you were to look at societies interaction with one another, you would see that as long as nuclear families were retained and sustained, and they were able to live with one another, the level of morality sustain itself as well. And once families started to break down once families started to break up, once there was no communication and interaction with one another, that is when the level of morality and ethics went down as well. And this is why you see that in Islam.

00:04:16--> 00:04:59

We have a very heavy emphasis on the family, a very heavy emphasis on the family. Allah subhanho wa Taala in addressing the whole Muslim Ummah, and warning them against the hellfire. He gave them a warning of two kinds, unless the minority owner says instead of him, yeah, you have Latina hamanako and for Sakuma alikum. Narrow that oh you who believe Save yourselves and save your family from the hellfire. So this is a warning for every individual for every community that save yourselves and save your families from the hellfire. Now if you were to look into the books of Tafseer Why does Allah subhanho wa Taala mentioned these two specific groups

00:05:00--> 00:05:42

alone, meaning the individual. And then the family. The scholars of Tafseer mentioned that this the reason why Allah subhanaw taala specified these two individual groups alone was because if you can handle these two groups, then be the law hits Allah, you can handle all of mankind, one individual tried to change the world, he will not be able to do so. But if he starts off by changing himself for the better, and then after he has changed himself, he works on his family, as they say, the walk of 1000 miles begins with a single step. And that single step begins with changing yourself and then working towards your family. So in this lecture, and in this discussion, I want to focus on five key

00:05:42--> 00:05:43


00:05:44--> 00:05:54

that we can do to start to change the world that we can do to start to change our families, and that we can do to start to change ourselves. Bismillah heeta Allah.

00:05:55--> 00:06:31

And that first thing always starts off with choosing the right spouse, you know, a Muslim conference would not be complete, unless three things are discussed. Number one, you know, what's the ruling on eating meat outside, you know, McDonald's, Burger King, these types of places? Number two, how do we solve you know, the marital crisis? You know, people are getting divorced families are getting divorced, things are going wrong, how do we solve that? And then the third crisis is how do we actually go about getting married those who are trying to look good trying to get married. So you'll see that every conference, it has something to do with this. And I thought, you know, let me be that

00:06:31--> 00:06:33

individual that discusses that topic with the lights on.

00:06:35--> 00:07:11

When people start to choose their spouses, it is just natural human instinct, that the first thing they are attracted to, and the first thing that catches their eye is the glitter of the other individual. It is usually the looks that people are most attracted to. And it is usually the looks that people will base their decisions upon. And in Islam, there's nothing wrong with that, if an individual chooses to start off based upon looks, there's nothing wrong with that, it becomes problematic when people base their decisions solely upon looks, that based upon the fact that I am attracted to this individual, or based upon the fact that you know, I think this person would good

00:07:11--> 00:07:50

look would look good as I'm walking with them down the street islamically, this becomes a problem. And the solution to this is that yes, you start off y by finding a spouse that you are attracted to, you have to live with this individual for the rest of your lives. It's not just a one night or two nights a week or a month type of thing. But there has to be some sort of level of attraction, some sort of clicks, some sort of spark needs to be there. And in Islam, you may start off with this, but you can't end off over here. In Islam, you need to go on and look even further. That is this individuals character to my liking, is this individual level of morality to such a degree that I

00:07:50--> 00:08:30

would feel comfortable with them teaching my children is their understanding and dedication to the religion to such a degree that if I myself were to decline and to dip that they would take care of me during that time as well. In Islam, this is what the focus is upon. And this is why the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that an individual could be married for four reasons. They can be married for their looks, they can be married for their lineage, they can be married for their wealth, and they could be married for their Deen and whoever gets married for their Deen will never be disappointed, they will never be disappointed. So the first step in establishing the ideal and

00:08:30--> 00:09:07

righteous community is finding that spouse whom you are attracted to, you know, I don't mean that you have to go and marry you know, like a girl's a gorilla or a grizzly bear or anything of that sort. You have to have some level of attraction. But once that level of attraction is there, you want to find that individual that will bring you up when you are down, they will support you in that time of support. And this will only be done by an individual who is dedicated to the deen and an individual who has a good understanding of the deen. So the first step in reforming society is reforming our families. And that will be done by choosing the right spouse.

00:09:09--> 00:09:54

Number two is learning to communicate with one another. The biggest problem of our times in terms of our relationships is that we have forgotten on how to communicate with one another. In a generation where you can communicate with one another just through typing a few buttons on your phone and the generation where you can communicate with one another where you will never even have to see their face you can just send them emails day and night and a generation where literally every other form of communication other than direct communication has become acceptable and valid. And this has become a major catalyst and the destruction and degeneration of the family. You will see brothers

00:09:54--> 00:10:00

and sisters living in the same house once on the top floor ones on the bottom floor. They're communicating when the

00:10:00--> 00:10:39

Another through like MSN Messenger or through Google Talk. I mean, why don't you just get out of the room go downstairs, and you know, go talk to the individual. And you'll see that once this direct interaction stops, this is when the problems start, that when people do not directly communicate with one another, they're not forced to live with one another, people stop caring about one another. And when it comes to the family, it is very important that communication takes place, particularly between a husband and a wife, and between a parent and the child. And these are the two types of communication that I wanted to focus upon. When it comes to husband and wife communication, you will

00:10:39--> 00:10:54

see that husband and wives speak different languages, even though they may use the same words. And this is the common phenomenon that they deciphered as men are from Mars, and women are from Venus, that, you know, all of you guys are aliens, you're no longer human.

00:10:56--> 00:11:32

And the reality is that, yes, Allah Subhana, Allah created us all, as human beings, we use the same language, we use the same words, we've grown up in the same societies. But when we communicate with one another, for some reason or another, we do not understand what the other individual is trying to say, when the wife says, you know, you can go out if you want, I don't mind, it doesn't mean she's letting you go. You know, this is something that men have to understand. And likewise, you know, when men tell the wife, you know, just get straight to the point and tell me what you want me to do. It's not that he's getting upset, it's just that you've given him too many details and becomes

00:11:32--> 00:12:10

complicated for him to understand. That's what it's all about. And, you know, to quote that book by john green men are from Mars, and women are from Venus, if you were to just leave with one lesson from that book, that was the fact on how men want to be treated and how women want to be treated. Men want to be recognized as the leaders of the families, they want to be recognized as those people who have authority in the household, if a woman can do this, her husband will be happy. As for the woman she wants her needs attended to, and she wants to feel secure, and wants to know that when something goes wrong, or if something goes wrong, the husband will be there to support her. If when

00:12:10--> 00:12:47

what if each individual in the family, the husband can do his job, and the woman can do his job, this would solve half of the problems. The problem lies that we don't even want to recognize our roles, and we want to live lives of individuality together. We don't want to live come in the lives we want to live lives of individuality together. And this becomes problematic. And this is why you see that in Islam, that we have different types of obligations and different types of recommendations. And those are obligations which are individual based, and those which are criminal based recommendations that are individual based, and recommendations which are communal based, Islam

00:12:47--> 00:13:19

has never been about the individual and has always been more given more emphasis to communal obligation and to communal recommendations. Now how do we go about solving this communal problem? husbands and wives will always argue with one another, it is something which is given it is something natural, you spend time with one another, especially if it becomes excessive, you'll be at each other's throats, day and night. So now the question arises, how do we go about solving this marital conflict, and I want to give you three steps to solve that Bismillah hits Allah.

00:13:20--> 00:14:02

Number one is both parties should never be angry. At the same time, one party will make a mistake, the other party has to be accepting and forgiving. So if someone is upset, the party who is not upset needs to maintain and retain that mode, that let the other person vent, let the other person express their feelings. Once they have calmed down, then you can discuss the matter. But if the husband starts shouting, and the wife starts shouting, everyone starts shouting. And this is why you know, they describe marriage in three stages. They say the first stage of marriage is that a husband and wife will communicate and listen with one another. And the second stage of marriage is that the

00:14:02--> 00:14:11

husband and wife was stopped listening to one another and there's no communication. And then the third stage of marriage is that they're speaking so loud that the neighbors are the ones who are listening.

00:14:13--> 00:14:57

And this height, this is the part of the problem that both parties get upset, they become angry and this the communication starts to degenerate. So step number one both parties can to be angry. Step number two is if someone does something wrong, always try to look at the intention behind that act. In our lives, we will always be wronged. And we are often taught that to not look at an individual's intention. This statement is true when judging another individual. But when it comes to forgiving another individual, always look at their intention. Because you see Allah subhanho wa Taala created mankind in the state of goodness, that each individual has this goodness to them, but just the fact

00:14:57--> 00:15:00

that they're human, it means that they will make mistakes.

00:15:00--> 00:15:16

From time to time, and if you recognize this fact that they are human, and they will make mistakes, but they have this innate goodness, they wanted to do something good. They just fell short. If you can see this in your spouse, this likewise will help solve the marital conflicts that take place.

00:15:18--> 00:16:01

And step number three is the Islamic guidelines. Islamic guidelines in a relationship are very, very important. Islam tells us that it is not permissible for one brother not to speak to another brother for over three days, that once that third day comes about it is worship, it is compulsory upon one Muslim to go and give salons to another Muslim and try to make amends with them. And this is even more important when it comes to a husband and wife, a husband and wife should hastin even more to make up that you have gotten married. You will see that in Islam when we get married, we don't take oaths. You know, I take the oath, stay with you and prosperity and adversity and rich for poor, we

00:16:01--> 00:16:38

don't have these statements when we get married. Why do we not have these statements, because it is understood that when we live our lives as Muslims following the Quran, and the Sunnah, this is part of marriage, that we become dedicated to one another, I will live with you and happiness and adversity, you know, you won't be wake up in the morning, you may be the ugliest person in the world. But I still love you. And this is what Islam is about, that you're dedicated to one another, and you're there to help one another solve each other's problems. So you recognize and never blow that conflict out of proportion. And within the heights honor with these three steps, you can solve

00:16:38--> 00:17:17

the conflict of marital communication, that as long as the husband and wife are communicating with one another, and you implement these three steps, then within the hits Allah Allah subhanho wa Taala will facilitate a way of goodness. Now when it comes to the parents and the children, we often hear that there's a generation gap between the parents and their children. And this is very, very true. This is very, very true that there is a generation gap, particularly with Muslims who have migrated to other lengths, our parents, may Allah protect them and bless them, they came to these lands with the purest and most righteous of intentions wanting to provide for their families. And they came

00:17:17--> 00:17:58

with the notion that if they raised their children, just the way that they were raised, everything will be fine. And okay. Nor as bad as this may sound, my dear parents, my dear elders, sadly, this is not the case, the societies that you were brought up in, were a lot purer than the societies that the youth of today are brought up in, the societies that you were brought in, were a lot more generous, were a lot more courteous were a lot more respectful than the societies that our youth are being brought up in. And just like your society modeled its parenting, to their societies, our parents need to model their parents to the societies that they live in today. And this will start

00:17:58--> 00:18:35

off by recognizing that very generation gap, that you came from a different land, your child now lives in a different land, you need to realize what your child goes through in school, you need to realize the pressures that society puts upon your children, you need to realize the influence and effect that media has upon your children, our friends growing up, they didn't have TVs in their houses, they didn't have to worry about, you know, in a crazy amounts of music, or, you know, media defining our relationships or defining our understanding of the world. They didn't have to go through this, but the youth of today have to go through it. And this is the very first step in

00:18:35--> 00:19:14

solving that problem of communication, recognizing that there is a difference between the level of societies. Number two is that you go about educating your parents, and you go with the parents go about becoming more proactive in the lives of their children. It is one of the greatest atrocities. And I'm going to touch upon this later because in lights Allah, that the parents feel comfortable, and not only comfortable, but they are content, leaving their children with babysitters, leaving their children's with the TV, leaving their children's with the internet. And then these three things, the TV, the internet and the babysitter, they actually become the third parent. And this is

00:19:14--> 00:19:51

one of the most fundamental problems that the child becomes more comfortable with the TV more comfortable with the internet more comfortable with the babysitter than they actually do with the parent, a problem arises, they will run to those three things rather than they will go to the parents. So the parents need to be educated as to what's going on in the lives of their children, and they need to take a more proactive role. And step number three is very simple. Just spend time with your children. Just spend time with your children and you will see where they are coming from. They need to be able to feel comfortable with you. They need to feel that you are there to support

00:19:51--> 00:19:59

them. You will see as human beings a lot of people focus on the adventurous aspects of their lives. They are always looking for adventure. They always want to go about seeking

00:20:00--> 00:20:38

New adventures in their life. But as human beings, Allah subhanho wa Taala created us as individuals who will go out and seek adventure, but the only they will, the only way they will survive is upon certainty that there have to be houses, there have to be families that people can rely upon that they will know that in times of need, these people will be there. When I go home at night, I will have a wife who will prepare a meal for me and will communicate with me when I go home, my parents will be there and they will be consoled and comforted by the fact that they have a child that loves them. That certainty needs to be there in every household. And that is point number two, my dear

00:20:38--> 00:20:39

brothers and sisters.

00:20:41--> 00:21:31

Point number three, in redefining the ideal Muslim family, Islam has to become a priority in our households and in our families. It is no longer Okay, that we raise our children upon culture, it is no longer okay that we raise our children upon what we deem to be goodness, it is no longer Okay, that we feel that you know, our children's at the age of 12 are old enough to raise themselves. It is no longer okay to do that. But rather Islam has to be a priority in the life of the parents and in the life of the whole household all together. And this is why you see just one aspect of Islamic jurisprudence. One aspect of that when it comes to the prayers for the men, the best prayers for the

00:21:31--> 00:22:11

men that are default prayers are prayed in the masjid and the Sunda and the waffle prayers are prayed in the house. And when it comes to the woman, the best prayers that she can pray are in her house and it is permissible for her to go and pray anywhere else that she likes. If you were to look at the wisdom and think about this wisdom, this is to encourage a battle taking place in the house. That the child as it is growing up it sees the mother praying day and night and worshiping Allah subhanho wa Taala and the father who may be busy with work during the day when it comes to his son the prayers the father sees the son sees the father praying his sooner prayers at home. That is the

00:22:11--> 00:22:45

wisdom behind these actions that Allah subhanho wa Taala legislated out of than the fourth prayers men should be praying at home. And this is why the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said do not make your houses graveyards, meaning graveyards for where you know it's filled with darkness is filled with ill feelings. And Allah subhanho wa Taala is not remembered in those places. But rather make your places houses of worship places of tranquility, make your houses places of serenity and places where Allah subhanho wa Taala is remembered frequently. And I wanted to give you three ways to do that as well. Bismillahi Tada,

00:22:46--> 00:23:28

you will see that a house where Allah subhanho wa Taala is remembered frequently as a house that will be filled with serenity and with tranquility. One of the easiest ways to do this is just to spend two hours a week, choose two hours a week, out of the seven days just choose two hours, where the family is forced to get together, they have no option they have to get together. And they can read Quran together, they can read books together, they can just have discussions together. If you just do to do two hours a week, it can be two different days. Or it can even be just one day, when you select two hours, you will see that a difference will start to take place where Islamic ideas

00:23:28--> 00:23:46

are just discussed, where you talk about you know what's going on in your life in terms of your prayers, are you having trouble with them? You know, what's going on in terms of your life in terms of the outside world is it you know, too much of a burden, how what else is going on your life these type of discussions if they take place, even for two hours, you will see that this is a good beginning Bismillah heights Allah.

00:23:47--> 00:24:27

Point number two is that we will fill our houses with pretty much everything you know, we will save catalogs from 1997 we have the IKEA catalog lying in our house, thinking that someday we may buy something from there, when in reality, we know it's not going to happen. We will have flyers from weeks ago thinking that you know that 50 cents that you might save on juice, even though it's one out now that we might use it one day, we'll save up all these things in our houses. But sadly, we will not have Islamic libraries in our houses. Now people think that spending money on books is a waste of time. But brothers and sisters, let me tell you something. History has proven to us and

00:24:27--> 00:25:00

history has told us and it has repeated itself over and over again. That people who who control the narrative, people who control the media, people who control information. They are the ones who control society and the level of morality. Once those things start changing, everything will start to change. So if you can control what is read in your house, if you can control what is discussed in your family, if you can control the information that comes in, then you can reconstruct your family as well. And this is why

00:25:00--> 00:25:37

I would say that it is fundamental that you have at least three Islamic books in your house. Number one, you should have a translation of the Quran that you your family can relate to, if you speak or do at home, have an older translation if you speak Arabic, have the Arabic Koran. If you speak Somali or any other language, have that Koran in your house so your family can relate to it. The second book your family should have is the spirit of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, choose something simple, and just discuss it once a week, once a month, whenever you can part of your weekly holidays or your weekly get togethers with your family, just choose one chapter, and you'll

00:25:37--> 00:26:18

see all starts to make a difference. And book number three, is a book known as the real Salim as a book known as the reorder Salahuddin or guardians of the righteous. And what makes this book so unique is that it is a book filled with ethics. It is a book filled with morality, it is a book filled with heart softeners, it is a book filled with etiquettes as to how Muslims should lead their lives. And if you start this off from a young age with children, who are six months to a year old, they see the parents reading these books and reciting the Koran. And then as they go on to ages two and three, they start to learn the vocabulary in these books. And by the ages of five and six,

00:26:18--> 00:26:56

they're actually able to understand and implement what is in them. How do you think these children will be raised, they will be raised as individuals who are respectful, they will be raised as individuals who are concerned for themselves, their families and societies as a whole. And this is from the beauty of Islam again, that Islam is not just concerned about the individual, it is concerned about the family, the society, the country, the world and the universe as a whole. Islam, if it was implemented and is implemented in its most perfect and true sense, will solve every single problem on this planet. But the problem does not lie in Islam, brothers and sisters, it lies in the

00:26:56--> 00:27:26

people who claim this beautiful and Noble Way of Life. So if an individual has these three books, in their houses, behind the lights, Allah, when they discuss it, and they go through it, this will be a way of reforming the family. So have libraries in your houses get rid of all that other junk that you won't need, replace it with books of Islam, and you will see that even of those books are there when the individual is bored, and he's looking for something to read, he picks up one of those books, and basically lakita Allah, that will make a difference.

00:27:27--> 00:28:10

Likewise, in terms of making Islam a priority in your houses, one of the best things that I ever saw in any house was that we know that parents are always going to be busy, they may not always have time to educate their children islamically we recognize this problem, and we recognize this fact. However, this does not mean that we neglect the Islamic education of our children. Every community has a Sunday school or a Saturday school where children could be sent. Rather than sending them to play soccer or hockey or football or any other sport or to spend their time in something else, send them to the school, even though it might not be at the highest level, the very fact that they're

00:28:10--> 00:28:48

interacting with other Muslims, the very fact that they're engaging with Islamic material will make a difference. And if you cannot even do that, do something even simpler, that as we know, Islam has a supplication pretty much for every time and for every situation, that when we go to the bathroom, there's a supplication that we make. When we enter our houses. There is a supplication that we make. So if you don't have the time to teach your children these applications, and you should be making time for that. the very least that you can do, my dear brothers and sisters, is just buy those stickers, buy those stickers, put them up on the doors, put them up on the house in the appropriate

00:28:48--> 00:28:55

places, and children will learn to read they will learn to implement, especially if you are leading by example.

00:28:56--> 00:29:40

Point number four in terms of redefining the ideal Muslim family is the level of interaction that takes place between the parents and the children. You see the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam as busy of an individual as he was as busy of an individual is as he was as a leader of an army as the leader of a community as a husband as a counselor, and every other role that he played. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam always made time for his family. For those of you who have attended my class on Sohail Bukhari, you will know this example already and it will serve as a good reminder for you. For those of you who haven't. This is what we talk about when we say good communication and

00:29:40--> 00:29:59

spending quality time with one another. As we know, a woman wants to be felt and she wants to be heard that her husband pays attention to her. One of the biggest problems that you know couples come with is that my husband does not pay attention to what I say. And you'll see that a lot of the times when the wife starts to speak

00:30:00--> 00:30:34

The husband automatically starts to look for something else to do while his wife is speaking. But I want to give you an example of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he would be the one who would initiate conversations with Isola della hota Nanda. And I want to share one of those conversations with you. That one day the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he said, Yeah, I shall come over here, come close to me. So I showed a doula when she comes close to the prophets of Allah Juanjo system, and she's inquisitive. You know, what is the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam going to say to me, why is he calling me so close? So he brings

00:30:34--> 00:30:38

your clothes, and he says something to her? He says, Yeah,

00:30:39--> 00:31:18

I know when you're upset with me, and I know when you're happy and contented with me. Now I shall have the Allahu Tanana she's almost astonished. You know, this misconception that men don't pay attention to their wives. It's existed from like, from since history began. So she was shocked at how does the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam know this? You know, when did he have the time to pay attention to what I would say and what I would feel and the promise of Allah Azza wa sallam he went on to say, Yeah, I shall. When you're angry with me, you swear by the Lord of Ibrahim, you say by the Lord of Abraham, such and such you will happen and by the Lord of Abraham, you will do such

00:31:18--> 00:31:41

and such. And when you are content with me, you say by the Lord of Mohammed, such and such will happen. And by the Lord of Muhammad, you will do such and such. Now, I shouted, Allahu talana. Like we mentioned, women always have the last word. You know, even if the man thinks he has the last word. He is just under the misconception that a new conversation has already begun. And he didn't realize it.

00:31:42--> 00:32:22

So here I showed a doula who Thailand when she hears this from the Prophet salallahu, alayhi wasallam. She's a bit astonished. And you can imagine in a couple of seconds, what would you respond to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, here's an individual who is the busiest person on the planet, but he's still taking time to recognize the feelings of his wife, he's still taking time to pay close attention to the words that she uses. So she says something even more profound. She says the auto saw the law, even though the words may change, instead of Mohammed, I say Ibrahim, realize that that love in the heart stays the same forever, that even though the words may change, that love

00:32:22--> 00:33:00

will always be there. And this is what communication and spending time with one another is all about. If you look at this conversation that took place all together, it's not even a minute long. But you can imagine the impact it's having on the two individuals, the wife will never feel more loved. And the husband will never feel more honored and respected. That even though the words may change, she still venerates and reveals him in his heart. And a woman realizes that as busy as a husband and a man may be, he still pays attention to her words, and he holds on to them dearly. And he shows that love and respect for her. So this is between the spouses, when it comes to the

00:33:00--> 00:33:35

children. You see children are a bit more difficult. You know, for parents, it's not very easy to pick up a joystick and start playing video games with them. It's not very easy that you know, they start playing with Barbies and candles with their children. It's not very easy, I understand that. But a lot of the times parents are not required to do this, they can dictate the activity, and the very fact that the parent is willing to spend time with the child the child will accommodate to the parent. So of parent finds it easy just to read a book a child will be willing to do so every parent finds it easy to play sports with the child, the child will be more than willing to do so. The fact

00:33:35--> 00:34:13

just needs to be there. We need to have that concern for our families, regardless of how we spend time with our children. And you will see this is how we will have the biggest effect on our children. Parents always want their children to be more righteous. They always want them to have better luck and character. But do your parents please realize and understand that our children and your children are reflective of the way that you are at home. They are reflective of the way that the mothers are at home. You will not have a child raised in righteousness and with good character if the parents are not manifesting the exact same sentiment and the exact same actions, but rather

00:34:13--> 00:34:52

implement Islam in your hearts. Implement Islam in your actions, and your children will naturally pick it up. But if you don't start off with that first step, then how can you expect the exact opposite from your children, that you are leading lives of where you Islam is not a priority in your life. When your children grow up, and they starts to disobey you when your children go up and start to do actions that are displeasing to you. Why wait till that time till you recognize the mistakes that you made. From this point on. You make Islam a priority in your life and you spend time with your children Bismillah heeta Allah you will be able to reform your children you will be able to

00:34:52--> 00:34:59

reform your family you will be able to reform society with the lights Allah start spending quality time with their spouses and with your children.

00:35:00--> 00:35:02

It will make a world of a difference.

00:35:03--> 00:35:08

And point number five be the light to Allah. And this is my last point before I conclude

00:35:09--> 00:35:30

that as human beings we have a tendency to stress out and to worry. And we tend to forget that there are always individuals who have been in greater predicaments and in greater problems that we have been in. And there has always been one source of victory and one source of help alone and that is Allah subhanho wa Taala.

00:35:31--> 00:36:11

Always seek the help of Allah subhanho wa Taala when you're trying to do anything, right now, the very fact that you've come to this conference, it shows that you have a genuine concern for your family, for yourself from your community, and for everyone else. So do not forget to engage Allah subhanho wa Taala in all aspects of your life, make dua to Allah subhanho wa Taala because there's nothing that pleases Allah subhanho wa Taala, more than making dua to him. Ask him for your needs, asking for whatever you want to see. Ask him for whatever you want done for you. And you will see that Allah subhanho wa Taala will be there to respond. This is a promise from Allah subhanho wa

00:36:11--> 00:36:55

Taala a promise that will never be broken, a promise that will never be deceived. And it is a promise that will always be fulfilled. So always keep making dua to Allah subhanho wa Taala that he rectifies yourself and he rectifies your families and always keep that in your mind. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam used to make dough at the end of his hospice when the whole community is there congregating in front of him Allah Hamas Nanana Daniela t v Hamas una was Nanana irrationality la Hama alguna. That O Allah rectify the world that we live in and make it a better place for us and rectify the Acura for us where our final abode will be. You will see of all the doors the Prophet

00:36:55--> 00:37:38

sallallahu alayhi wa sallam could have made on the member could have made supplicating This is the Doohan that he was making. So brothers and sisters, take this opportunity and making dua to Allah subhanho wa Taala. This world that we live in, we have become too busy to recognize and realize that at times, it is a very dark and disturbing place to live in. It is a place that sucks out that goodness from you and sucks out all of that energy. But if you recognize Allah subhanho wa Taala as your source of help, and seek his aid and assistance, and then take the practical steps that I have mentioned, with Lila hits Allah, it is not only this community of the Islamic Information Society of

00:37:38--> 00:38:15

Calgary that we can change, but we can change the City of Calgary, the province of Alberta, the country of Canada, and the whole world. It starts with you as an individual, take care of yourselves, take care of your families and be the lights and everything else will fall into place. But if you do not consider yourself significant enough, if you do not consider your family significant enough to change, then the destruction began a long time ago. Because brothers and sisters, you were created to go to Geneva, Allah subhanho wa Taala knows this, you have to recognize this. But Jen does not want to be given to anyone and to everyone. You work a little bit for it

00:38:15--> 00:38:53

strive towards Allah subhanho wa Taala and Allah subhanho wa Taala will give it to you. So I pray to Allah subhanho wa Taala as they conclude that he increases the righteousness in our hearts and increases us in righteous deeds, and makes us the future leaders not only of this oma but of this world, because this world can no longer live in the darkness that it is currently in. We have to be that source of light, and we have to be that source of guidance, and we seek Allah's tofik to do so what aku de Juana and Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa sallahu wa sallam robotica then the BNL Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa Salaam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh