A Message From Our Mothers To Our Sisters Of Today

Navaid Aziz

Channel: Navaid Aziz

Episode Notes

share this pageShare Page

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:01--> 00:00:09

created so we can worship him that his creation noise creatures only him associate

00:00:12--> 00:00:14

as true believers that's the same weekend.

00:00:16--> 00:00:19

He is the only one worthy of our praise we don't

00:00:24--> 00:00:52

moving on inshallah we have a talk to our sisters but also something for our brothers to really take heed of inshallah, as you know, our sisters have enormous potential to build this community, they are the backbone of this community, and our mothers of the past years gone by, they are true inspirations for us, and inshallah to deliver a message from our mothers to our sisters of today, please to call upon check navaid as a strzok Aloha.

00:01:01--> 00:01:28

In Alhamdulilah Nakamoto who wants to know who won a stock photo when I was a biller, Himanshu, Rory and fusina woman sejati Armani, Anna, Maria de la foto de la oma yodel, who further her Deanna was shadow under ilaha illallah wa hula de cada was shadow Mohammed Abu Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa early he was he he was seldom at the Sleeman kathira ama but

00:01:29--> 00:01:32

my dear brothers and sisters as salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

00:01:35--> 00:01:49

So there's a couple that are about to take a journey. They boarded into the car, and they start arguing right away. The husband's like, how could you forget our lunch? And the wife's like, you know, why are you not dressed properly to go out?

00:01:50--> 00:02:15

So as they're arguing, they just get fed up with one another. And the ride continues like this with that really awkward silence. So they're driving, they're driving, they're driving, and the husband actually feels bad for reprimanding his wife. So he's like, how can I start this conversation up again, and with her heart over? So they're driving, he's looking for different things to comment on. And he's like, you know, that's a nice tree, and the wife's like, shut up.

00:02:18--> 00:02:22

So they keep driving, and then they finally you know, get

00:02:23--> 00:02:37

drive past a farm. And you can hear the brain of a donkey The morning of a cow, and, you know, all the sounds that the animals are making, and the husband's still angry. So he's like, let me guess, their relatives of yours.

00:02:38--> 00:02:41

And the wife goes, Yeah, you're right. They're my in laws.

00:02:45--> 00:03:12

The point of mentioning this joke, I mean, it's very funny. But one thing life has taught me through experience, no matter what the situation, the woman always has the last word. And I was dreading this topic, you know, advising sisters and giving them advice. It goes one of two ways. Either they really love the advice and accept it and Mashallah they go ahead and make a change, or you're like on their top 10 most hated list, you know, take you out like the FBI.

00:03:13--> 00:03:56

So I hope it's the former rather than the latter with the lights on. I want to start off my advice towards the sisters with a story of a woman that lives during the time of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Her name was Anwar aka Omar aka rhodiola. Juana was one of the most knowledgeable of the female companions. In fact, from my reading of the Sierra, she is the only female companion that I know of that the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam appointed her as an Imam, over the people that lived in her house. She is the only female companion that I know that had this virtue. She was a female companion, that before salon fudger before the sun is coming up, you could hear her

00:03:56--> 00:04:42

beautiful recitation in the open fields. She was the one that during the day, you would not find her anywhere except in the deepest corner of her house, praying to Allah subhana wa Tada. One day when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told the Muslims that they'd be going out for the Battle of bud that she went to the Prophet sallallahu wasallam and she said yada Shula. Why is it that the men can attain such high ranks in Paradise through martyrdom in the way of Allah subhana wa Tada. But the women are left behind. Please let me come with you, even if it is just to tend to the sick and to the needy. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told her an amazing piece of advice that

00:04:42--> 00:04:51

boggled her mind. He said, stay in your house, and you will have your martyrdom, stay in your house and you will have your martyrdom.

00:04:52--> 00:05:00

So Mercado de la Juana. This is what she did any of the expeditions that happened, she stayed home, she didn't go out and when she heard this

00:05:00--> 00:05:41

newest one, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, she actually told her slaves and her servants that after I die, you're free. You don't have to live in slavery anymore. I'm letting you go. So now years go by. And Omar acaba de la one has still alive The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has passed away. And on workers actually thinking the people are thinking, could the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had said something that was incorrect. And you're wondering how his own worker going to die as a moderator in their own house. months go by years go by, we're in the hilife of Amara de la Juan, who right now, the servants, they get so anxious for their freedom, they get so

00:05:41--> 00:05:45

overwhelmed by waiting, they decide to kill on what.

00:05:46--> 00:06:31

So one night on what aka is laying in her bed, she's laying in her bed, and the servants come and cover her face with a pillow. And that is how on Mercado de la huanghai died, she passed away in her bed. And that is how she attained her martyrdom, because being killed unjustly, is being killed as a mortar. And this is how the prophets of Allah Juanjo Saddam's word was true. Now, obviously, those servants were held to account and they were taken care of. But the point I'm mentioning over here is the reality of life. Everyone has aspirations in life. We all have goals, and we have a way of attaining that goal. Sometimes we get so set on the way of attaining the goal, that we think that is

00:06:31--> 00:07:14

the only way. But here the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has taught us that an individual who aspires for paradise, Allah subhanho wa Taala will grant it to them, even if it's in their own house. Hopefully you guys aren't killed though inshallah. So now with that having been said, the story of Anwar aka rhodiola Juana, when I read this story, I think to myself supine Allah, how amazing is predestiny in Islam, how amazing is Qatar, Allah subhanho wa Taala has destined every single thing for us, that even paradise we can find just by staying at home, like on Mercado de la Juan, who was granted. But the point I want to try to get across over here is not how she attained

00:07:14--> 00:08:02

paradise, but rather the aspiration itself. The highest point in Paradise is known as unfair those, this is the highest and best point of paradise. Now I want you to think of an individual who made do it for paradise and how she did it. The example that Allah subhanho wa Taala preserved in the Quran for us, was Maria, the mother of a son, she made dua to Allah subhanho wa Taala rabine in the debate and fill agenda, that Oh Allah, make a house for Me in Paradise that is close to you. And obviously that is a third dose. And this is the dua that Allah subhanho wa Taala preserved in the Koran and example not only for the women, but for the men as well. If you were to look into the Sunnah, and

00:08:02--> 00:08:46

look into the Koran, you will find that there are many, many examples for people. But the very fact that when we abandon the Koran, we abandon these role models as well. And this, we don't know and realize the legacies that they left behind. So I want to take a couple of glimpses from the sooner couple of glimpses from the Koran, and advise my sisters with them. Bismillahi Tada. Firstly, we need to realize that the dynamics of the world are changing regularly. There was a time that if a woman stayed silent, and she stayed in her home, and would have been sufficient for her, but the dynamics of the world have changed. Women now have responsibilities not equal to men, greater than

00:08:46--> 00:09:27

men. Because there was a time for a woman stayed home took care of her children, she was considered normal in society. But now not only does a woman have to work, not only does she have to have equal and perhaps greater pay than men, but she's still required to take care of her home as well. Because at the end of the day, you know, we know that men can't do that. It's just a reality, that no matter how compassionate and merciful, a man may be, he can never fulfill the job a woman does with her children. So the woman has double the task. So now with the changing dynamics, I believe the advice that we give women has to change as well. It doesn't mean that we say that she starts doing things

00:09:27--> 00:09:59

that are wrong, and we change the religion of Islam. But what I'm saying is our approach to this world needs to change. It is no longer sufficient that we tell women stay in your homes and take care of your children and inshallah that will be enough for you. Because the dynamics of the world have changed. And Allah subhanho wa Taala expects us to change with the world as well, but within the bounds of the city. And this is where I want to start my discussion today. Every woman has a set journey that she is going to go through within the atana she's going to start off as a young

00:10:00--> 00:10:42

daughter, she's going to move on into a student, she's going to move on to a married woman, she's going to move on to a mother. And somewhere during that time, she's going to be working as well. This is her set life. Yet each woman chooses a different path. However, you'll see that the elements of success are relatively the same. And what I believe I need to emphasize over here is that a son, and everything that you do is of the utmost importance. Whatever you do in life, whatever stage you are in your life, doing it professionally doing it proficiently, is of the utmost importance. I have an analogy that I like to make the famous hadith of gibreel How many people have heard of this

00:10:42--> 00:11:28

hadith before? The famous hadith of gibreel, where he came to ask the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, what is a man? What is Islam? And what is your son, he came to ask these three questions. When I analyzed this idea and studied this Hadith, I took a different approach to it. I said, How do these three elements tie into time? How does Islam time to time? How does he man time to time? How does he have time to time. And this is my own personal conclusion that I came up with, that if you were to look at time, and everyone lives through time, no one is free from it, you will see that in time, you can be doing various deeds, you could be doing deeds that are pleasing to Allah deeds that

00:11:28--> 00:12:12

are displeasing to Allah, and within them are ranked within themselves. So when you look at Islam, the basic level of submission to Allah subhanho wa Taala. This means that you're just staying away from those things that Allah subhanho wa Taala has prohibited. Then when you look at the level of Iman and its relation to time, it means that at any given time, not only are you staying away from those things that Allah has prohibited, but you're actually taking it to the next level, and doing those things that are recommended. And then you get the highest level which is done. This is the epitome of excellence. That means that at any given moment, you're doing the best possible deed you

00:12:12--> 00:12:56

could be doing at that time. And I believe throughout history, what made people successful was this very concept, that through a person doing the best possible deed that they could be doing through that time. That is when Allah subhanho wa Taala granted them success. And that is what our sisters need to focus on within the hits Allah. So now, what are the challenges that sisters are facing in our times? And how would we address those challenges? One of the biggest challenges I feel that the sisters face is that of modesty. We live in a time where it is actually discouraged to be modest and shy. In fact, if you lower your gaze, or if you wear a hijab, it is actually a terrible thing to do.

00:12:57--> 00:13:38

Now, how do we address this challenge? This is going to be something very big. And I want to share a personal experience with you right now. That just before I came to Australia, there was a newspaper article that was published. And they also had like an online clipping to watch as well. It was an interview with 12 women who had abandoned the job, they've taken it off. They felt that it held them back. They felt that you know it wasn't right for them. They felt as if they couldn't be who they wanted to be through the wearing of the hijab. So they took it off. And this newspaper reporter interviews these 12 women, and they're all telling their stories of how they're still Muslim, but he

00:13:38--> 00:14:13

job is like oppressive towards them. So I was asking them, what are my comments on this article? And I thought to myself supine on this is a trap. Because I know if I say that hijab is compulsory, and women need to be modest. This report is going to take it and spread it all over the news. You know, in the Vedas. He is chauvinistic male trying to put women in prison. So I was like, I have no comment on this article. But I thought to myself supine Allah, only if there was like a female version of me, she could blast this newspaper reporter and destroy them. And she'd be free to do it. And the newspaper reporter couldn't say anything to her. But I was like, Where are the sisters

00:14:13--> 00:14:57

standing up at this time. So now with addressing modesty, I believe it is very important to understand what modesty actually means. modesty means to refrain from displeasing Allah subhanho wa Taala. That is the essence of modesty. And this is something that is required on both men and women. modesty for the woman, an element of it is the hijab, but the greater sign of modesty is the way that a woman conducts herself. Now a woman is not required to stay home and this is how she stays modest. But rather This means that when she interacts with the world, when she mingles with other people, she retains that modesty. It's not about flirting. It's not about you know, beautifying your

00:14:57--> 00:14:59

voice. It's not about beautifying your love.

00:15:00--> 00:15:38

But rather, it's about conducting yourself in a way that is pleasing to Allah subhanho wa Taala. And this is something that the sisters need to be very careful of, because you'll notice that throughout time, things are actually getting worse from two angles. Angle number one, if you were to look at what's happening in fashion, it's crazy these days, that clothes are coming off bit by bit. And that is what fashion is meant to be their clothes are getting smaller and tighter and more revealing. And this is very dangerous for our sisters. Because when they go to school, when they go to work, they see that the other women are getting past them in the work fields. And it's because of their looks

00:15:38--> 00:16:21

they use, you know, sex as a weapon, as they say, and they're getting further. So shaytaan tempts them and the sisters need to fight this temptation to fall into a trap, continue wearing the hijab, and know that ultimate success is from Allah subhanho wa Taala. And this is something you have to be prepared for mentally. And the second test you'll see related to the hijab is the onslaught against Muslims. If you look at what now happened in France, believe me, my dear brothers and sisters, pretty soon it might start happening all over the world, if we don't play a proactive role in the media in the law and legislation. Even in my own community, they've started a bill meaning they're

00:16:21--> 00:16:52

trying to pass the legislation that a woman cannot wear in the pub. And niqab is just the beginning because trust me, hijab will come next. So we need Muslim women to voice their opinions and show how the hijab has empowered them and freed them and liberated them. And it's not a form of oppression. dear sisters, I plead towards you that stand up and voice your opinions. Because if we as men try to do it, we are labeled, but if you as women do it, then this is where the true empowerment can take place when the lights Allah.

00:16:54--> 00:17:19

The second piece of advice I wanted to address towards my sisters is relationship amongst yourselves. Every community that I go to, I get the largest number of complaints from the sisters themselves. Now this is not to say that they like to complain and this is part of their nature. No, that's not what I'm trying to say. What I'm trying to say is that the sisters have some serious issues that need to be dealt with. I don't know if that's better or worse.

00:17:20--> 00:17:59

But with that having been said, I want to share a chapter with you from Al Bukhari. Imam Al Bukhari Rahim Allah and this is one of the classes that actually teach is available karate. He has a chapter heading and Sohail Bukhari that he called the anger and jealousy of women. Now, when I read this chapter heading, I'm like, my head is going to be chopped off forever teach this class in the West. But I went through the Hadith and among Bukhari mentions, and I came to the conclusion as actually one of the most beautiful chapters in Al Bukhari. Because while the title heading looks very chauvinistic, and reality, that's not what it is, but rather it is a sincere advice from the Prophet

00:17:59--> 00:18:36

salallahu alayhi wasallam towards our women. And one of the very first Hadith he mentions in this is the relationship that I showed the Allahu I'd have had with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So now remember, I was talking about how a woman has the last word. I told you, it's always true, the promise of something witnessed it, and I'm going to share that instance with you right now. So one day the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is sitting with Chateau de la Juana. And he some insert, he says he is a term of endearment Come and sit close to me, that even though there was no one else in the room, he wants her close to her, so he can whisper something into her ear. So he

00:18:36--> 00:19:13

brings your clothes. And he says, Oh, I, I know when you're angry with me. And I know when you're happy with me. Now, I showed the law, you know, she's taken back. What is the privacy law? I said, I'm doing you know, did revelation come down? Did something happen? Am I in trouble? You know what's going on? So she stays calm? And she says yada. So, Lola, how do you know when I'm angry? And how do you know when I'm happy? Now I want you to think what's going through her mind at this time as well. One of the biggest complaints that women always have towards their men is that they never pay attention to them. You know, men will be standing there and the wife's talking, talking and talking.

00:19:13--> 00:19:50

And she's like, are you even paying attention to me? I want you to notice the prophets of Allah on him, send them over here and this is advice to the men. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam goes on to say, Oh, I wish when you're angry with me, you say by the Lord of Abraham, such and such will happen by the Lord of Abraham, you will do such and such, meaning that when you take an oath, you swear by the Lord of Ibrahim, and when you're happy with me, you say by the Lord of Muhammad, you will do such and such and by the Lord of Muhammad, such and such will happen. Now, I shall do laquanda. She has just been, you know, displayed one of the greatest signs of affection, showing

00:19:50--> 00:20:00

that not only did the prophet SAW certain pay attention to her words, as the leader of the Muslim army as the mayor of the community, as the prophet of Islam, the busiest guy in the world.

00:20:00--> 00:20:45

Not only is he paying attention to the meanings of her words, in fact, he's picking up the very word she's using. So now do you think I should add the law on her? Let him get away with this. She says he ought to sue the law. While the name may change on my tongue, my love for you always remains in my heart. And that is how Emanuel Buhari concludes that Hadith. Now what do we learn from this Hadith, we learn from this hadith is how a woman reacts to a man. If a man is kind and tender towards her, a woman will react as such towards him. But if a man is evil and vile towards her, a woman will react just like that as well. And if you look through this chapter, you'll learn the

00:20:45--> 00:21:26

following as well, that the anger of Isla de la Juana, it did not turn to obscenities, it did not turn to cursing and backbiting and slandering, but it was within the realm of permissibility. All she did was change, Mohammed, Ibrahim. And this is the advice for our sisters, that we are not telling you that you do not have the rights to get angry, we're not telling you that you do not have the right to speak out. But we do advise you with keep it within the realms of permissibility. There's a sister who takes you off, it doesn't mean you go and rip off her hijab. But rather it means that you know, keep what's inside you inside of yourself, make dua to Allah advise the sister,

00:21:26--> 00:22:08

but keep within the realms of permissibility. And you will see that this will be one of the greatest elements of building sisterhood. Because in reality, sisterhood is more important than brotherhood, brothers, they can learn to live amongst themselves as a community and not communicate amongst themselves. But women and this is psychologically proven, they need to socialize through their words. In fact, if they don't socialize through their words, they actually feel incomplete. A study was done that an average man speaks 12,000 words per day, and usually speaks you know, 11,999 before he comes home, so when he comes home, he says Assalamualaikum, and he's done for the day, he's not

00:22:08--> 00:22:08

speaking.

00:22:11--> 00:22:46

Whereas a woman on the other hand, she speaks 23,000 words per day. So when the husband comes home, she wants to converse with him. And she's like, aren't you going to ask how my day was, while the husband only said one word, she needs to build up her breath. And then start speaking, like for hours and hours, and husbands like, please just leave me alone. And now the reasoning behind that is this is how Allah subhanho wa Taala created the two different creatures, the man and the woman, the woman needs to speak her mind. And she will feel incomplete if she doesn't. And this is a lesson for the men, that if you want to make a woman feel complete and feel, you know, whole, let them speak

00:22:46--> 00:23:19

their minds and actually pay attention to them. And you'll see, it's like simple things that you can do that will actually improve your marriage. So now dealing amongst the sisters themselves, again, feel free to speak their minds, but keep it permissible, it doesn't mean you have to curse, it doesn't mean that in order to make yourself feel better, you need to put someone else down, you will see this is a great trick that shaytan plays with the sisters, that in order to build up their own egos. They don't do it by you know, making themselves better, but rather they do it by putting other people down. And you will see that on the Day of Judgment, this is going to be one of the things

00:23:20--> 00:23:59

that you know this issue is going to be held accountable for and you don't want to be in that situation within the heat sauna. Another piece of advice, Islamic education for women, it's of the utmost importance. We have this proverb in the English language, that if you teach a man you teach an individual, but if you teach a woman, you've taught a whole household. And this is a true reality, that if we look at why our children are not going up with Islamic values, it's because we didn't take the opportunity and time to educate our women. Because while the men are out at work, the women are the ones who are interacting with the children. So if the woman who does not have an

00:23:59--> 00:24:33

Islamic education, how is she going to teach it to the children. So as sisters, it is a reality that one day you will get married and one day inshallah you will have children as well. You need to have something to offer them. So just while you are seeking your other degrees while you're doing other things in life as well. Just spend, you know, five minutes a day, read something Islamic. And this is where I'm going to promote my spiritual fix. It's a free service, you know, sign up for weekly reminders. Increase yourself in your knowledge of Islam, increase yourself in your spirituality. And you will see this is something you can propagate and integrate into your children as well be the

00:24:33--> 00:24:59

light Allah, our children have a right over their mothers, they have the right to be taught a proper Islam, they have a right to be taught that spirituality. And if the women and the sisters are not doing it, then who will teach our children. Now speaking about Islamic education as well. I'm sure the sisters must be fed up by now by listening to male speakers all the time. Why is it that the sisters always have to sit in the back

00:25:00--> 00:25:31

The men are in the front. It's because we have male speakers up on stage. But if we get female speakers who are educated in Islam and have the ability to speak, we can fill up this room easily with sisters alone. And you know, that's the reality, the way the world is going, you know, a few key speakers from the male gender is not going to be enough. We need those female speakers as well being the Knights are the sisters step up to the plate, get your Islamic knowledge, learn how to speak and educate the sisters, when Allah hits ohana.

00:25:32--> 00:26:10

Now the last topic of discussion I wanted to talk about and advise the sisters with is the issue of marriage. I haven't been able to do statistical studies in Australia, but I know definitely in England, Canada and United States, one of the biggest challenges that sisters are facing is the issue of marriage. And what ends up happening is one of two things. Issue number one is that when they look at the brothers, they find a bunch of pansies, and they say you know these brothers are not worthy of getting married to inshallah, wait till I find a better brother. And things go on, they wait, and they wait, and they wait. And that superstar brother that's supposed to stand up,

00:26:10--> 00:26:15

he's nowhere to be found, because he's too busy playing Xbox, or, you know, chatting on Facebook.

00:26:16--> 00:27:00

So now, when it comes to the issue of marriage, that is the first problem. The second issue with marriage is resolving between education and marriage. There is this delusion that I can always get married later, no matter how far I go in my education. But sisters, let me warn you in advance, sisters who pursue further education actually have less likelihood of getting married. Now this doesn't mean that we sisters do not pursue higher education. But what this means is that they find a man who is willing to support them while they get to that higher education. A woman naturally needs to get married, a man naturally needs to get married. And the more sisters delay marriage, the more

00:27:00--> 00:27:35

difficult it will become for them to get married. So I advise you, the sisters who are still young, who have these high aspirations, don't let your education prevent, you know, let your marriage prevent you. But rather be very diligent when selecting a man find a man who will be supportive, and fulfill your dreams through living with that meant, because Allah subhanho wa Taala created us to get married, he didn't create us to be single. So do not fight that side of the issue. But the issue you should be fighting is making sure that the man that you marry is the right one for you. Because I don't want to see happen in Australia, what's happening in the other parts of the Western Muslim

00:27:35--> 00:28:13

world where sisters are getting older and they're unable to get married. And then the only resolution that they find is looking for brothers in other parts of the world through internet service. Now internet services are great and 100 I fully support them pure matrimony as a wonderful, you know, project, but they shouldn't be the reality of the situation. We should be raising men in our own community who are suitable for the women in our community. So sisters, realize that marriage will not happen overnight. It is something you have to prepare for. And when you select a husband, be very diligent be very meticulous. Choose that husband that will be supportive of you choose that

00:28:13--> 00:28:26

husband that has the same vision as you and with the lights on that you can grow successful together. The last point I want to conclude with been Allahu taala the importance of a bada in the life of a woman.

00:28:27--> 00:29:04

When women get married, they always have this dream that I will marry a man who has this beautiful recitation. And we're going to wake up in the middle of the night and pray to Malaysia together. And we're going to implement the Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that may Allah have mercy upon the man who sprinkles water onto his wife and may Allah have mercy upon the woman that sprays her husband with waters what to wake up for kiama Lane, we all have these utopian dreams, these idealistic dreams. But the reality is, we're not going to find these men that wake up in the middle of the night who are spraying water on you. But rather, if you spray water at them, they'll

00:29:04--> 00:29:43

get angry at you and I just leave me alone. So a burqa particularly after marriage because Mashallah the sisters seem to do a good job before marriage, but after marriage is just as important. And you'll see that when we usually talk about leadership, we usually address the men with this issue. But when you actually study leadership as a science, my understanding of it is Allah subhana wa tada has made men leaders from the front and this is their challenge. And Allah subhana wa tada has made women leaders from the back and this is their challenge. That is why when you look at the Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he said Khun Nakamura and Luca Luca saw that all of you are

00:29:43--> 00:29:59

shepherds, and all of you shall be questioned about your flocks. So the man is responsible for his house, and the woman is responsible for her children and when the husband is not at home. So what this actually means is that the man is in charge of directing the woman literally directing her and the woman

00:30:00--> 00:30:33

is in charge of suggesting the woman is in charge of implicitly directing a man. And these are two forms of leadership that last upon the what's the other expects of the men and the woman. So a woman has to be very diligent with this, that she needs to know how to read her men. And I'll give you some ideal tips right now. If you need your man to do anything, there are two tricks that are less depending on what Allah has given you. use them wisely. Number one, through your looks. And number two, through the food that you cook.

00:30:35--> 00:31:07

And I'll be honest with you, I'll tell you a piece of advice that I gave a sister and I told her to try it out. What happened was, the couple had brought a brand new car. And on the third day, the sisters in the parking lot shopping, she crashed into the car, she calls me up, she's like, my husband's going to kill me, what should I do? So I told her Look, your initial impulse is going to be as soon as he walks into the door, you tell him I crashed your car. That's what your impulse is staying? And she's like, yeah, you're right, I actually want to call him up right now at work and tell him and I'm like, don't do that. That's gonna be the worst thing that you do. So I told her

00:31:07--> 00:31:38

when he comes home, make sure you cook three portions of his favorite food, let him relax, give him dinner. When he says he's done eating, give him some more when he says he's done the second time, give him some more to the degree that he's like, about to throw up. That's how much he's eating. So now when he's done all of that, when he's done all of that, you tell him, you know, honey, I have some bad news for you. I wrecked the car. At that point, even if he wants to get angry and like hit the table. He's so full and stuff.

00:31:40--> 00:31:42

So he's like, you know, don't worry about it.

00:31:45--> 00:32:22

And as well, you want to know where I learned this from? I actually learnt it from an Islamic book. If you look at the Why did the Prophet SLM tell us not to overeat, it's because it kills the heart, it kills the emotions, we're unable to feel that horseshoe and love in Salah. That's what actually got that tip from overeating. That's what it does to you, it kills your emotions. So likewise with anger, you overfeed a person and kills his anger as well. So through a sister's looks through her cooking, she can get her husband to do whatever she wants. So keep that in mind sisters, just because you may have a bad husband doesn't mean that he has to stay bad the rest of his life, but

00:32:22--> 00:33:05

rather use these two tools, use that leadership from the back approach and rectify the situation. I was trying to think of a pivotal quote, to end my lecture with and that quote is that fate rarely calls upon the people at a time of their choosing. Fate rarely calls upon the people at a time of their choosing. And life. We keep thinking that you know, later on when I'm older, when I'm more successful, when they have more money when they have more free time. That's when I'm going to make a change. But the reality is the time for changes. Now, things may be difficult in your life, things may not be ideal. But you will leave this room with the idea of change, that it's no longer okay to

00:33:05--> 00:33:31

stay the same. It's no longer okay to stay apathetic. It's no longer okay to be mediocre. But now is the time to be outstanding. Now is the time to raise the likes of Ayesha and on what I've gotten Khadija and all the other great leaders in their legacy, we honor it, and sisters it's about time you stand up to the plate. And I pray that Allah grants you and I and everyone in this room that success will Afro Donna and hamdulillahi Rabbil aalameen

00:33:39--> 00:33:48

created so we can worship him. But his creation noise creatures only him associate none as a partner.

00:33:50--> 00:33:57

as true believers that's the same weekend for he is the only one worthy of our praise.

00:34:03--> 00:34:12

Allah created us all weekend worship and that his creation noise creatures only him associate none as a partner.