The Best and the Worst #08 – The Best Bridal Gift

Well I'm

logging on saw the how

many Meena Mussolini Nabi

salam Wa alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh Bismillah him and Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah Muhammad, while he was a big marine about Al Hamdulillah. One of the most beautiful things that we find about Islam is a when Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam came with the message of Islam, he was able to eradicate many previous practices, and practices that were demeaning to others practices where others people's rights were neglected. And he was able to instill practices within the community and in the society, where people's rights are going to be fulfilled. People are going to be taken care of, and no one will be neglected. Subhanallah one of

the things that we find Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam placing much emphasis on is the subject of Nika. And within the subject of Nica, one of the things that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and not only himself, but Allah subhanho wa Taala talked about in the Quran was the subject of Maha, this bridal gift, the gift that a husband gives to His Bride to his wife at the time of their marriage. This is something that Allah subhanho wa Taala he talked about in the Quran. Now because this is a series known as the best and the worst. This is why there's a hadith of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that is found in mustard rock and Hakim, and in Albay hupy

were in the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he starts off the Hadith by using the word highered. mean the best and he says hiatal Sadhak the best Maha is a sadhu the one that is simple, the one that is affordable. So here what the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is saying is that the best money that is given to a bride or to one's wife is the one that is simplistic, the one that is easy, the one that is affordable. Now the reason why the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he said this is because at that time, there were many people. And just like today, we find in some cultures that many parents of girls and women they have placed and they have set a really high Mahara. And as a

result of setting that high ma amount, many boys are reluctant and many young men are reluctant to come forward and propose to this girl. And this is why the Prophet salallahu audio is some he's saying the best. Mahara is the Mahabharata is affordable for men. But keeping this in mind, I do also want to highlight some important things that we have in our society are some of the key concepts regarding Maha because Subhanallah even as an Imam, when I go and I conduct many Nikka has many marriages. I see that there's a lot of misunderstandings when it comes to Mahara. And so therefore, I wanted to take the opportunity today to highlight some key important aspects of the

MaHA the very first thing is that Allah subhana wa Tala and certain Nisa he mentioned what to Nyssa Ducati. Hinata. Allah, Allah subhanho wa taala. He's ordering the men that you should give your wife and you should give the bride a bridal gift. Now, first of all, is that when we talk about Maha Maha is part of our deen. So the very first point I want to make is Maha is part of our deen Allah subhanaw. Taala has told us that we give a Maha to our bride and to our wife, and it should not be viewed as a cultural practice. Now the reason I say this is because there are times when I have gone to conduct an ICA or a marriage ceremony. And I find that people are saying that was the need to set

up a Maihar. Now the Allamah have debated amongst themselves that do you need to have a Maha are set at the time of the Nika and there are many who say that, A A Maha in some cases that if it is not set, then the marriage and the Nikka will still be valid. However, we find that the Prophet son will never generally do this. At the same time, we have to understand that this is part of our DNA, just a cultural practice. As I said that sometimes when I go to these kinds of places, people have this understanding that oh is part of our deen or is just a cultural practice. We don't have to actually give this Mahalo to our wife and I usually have to explain to them that no, when you set up an

amount, then that amount has to be given to your wife. And I say this because one time I went to some place

And subhanAllah they have set up a really high Mahara. And when I explained to the husband and wife that no this is me, this means that you have to give this Mahara to your wife, then they were able to go and they were able to consolidate that amount and Subhanallah they were you know, because they do not have the right understanding. After having the right understanding that Muhammad became 1/10 of what they actually were thinking of doing initially. So this is why the very first thing is the MaHA is part of our deen it is not a cultural practice. The second thing is that the MaHA is the right of the wife, and no one in the family can take it from her. In some cultures, what happens is

that the MaHA is given to the wife, but sometimes the inlaws will keep it or sometimes the parents will keep it once again, for all of our parents and for, for all families. The Maha belongs to the wife, it is her Huck, and no one should be able to take it from her, no one has a right to take it from her. Now of course, if the bride if the wife is willingly see the key word is willingly if she's willingly to give it willingly want to forfeit it, that's a different case. But at the same time, no one can force that upon her to give her her away. The third point is that it is permissible to defer the Mahara. However, what we find from the CEDAW of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

is that before he would consummate any marriage with any of his wives, he would give the MaHA and we find that this was a practice of many of the Sahaba of Yolanda and home, including such as even Omar of yawata on Houma, Ibn Abbas or the Allah Tala on Houma, we find that before they were before they consummate the marriage, they were very particular about giving the MaHA. In fact, we even find that no matter how close Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was to Arlene or the yellow to the iron, Ali or the Athan, he grew up in the household of Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam still the Prophet, the son, he wants to set a standard, he wants to set the example for others. And so this is why He even

told the elite all the time that the marriage will not be conducted. And the marriage will not be consummated till you don't give something out of the agreed amount of money or something is given to fault them out of the allotted on hmm. And so what we learned from this is that even though it is allowed to defer the Mahara and once again, the Mahara can be deferred only with the agreement and the approval of the bride. If the bride says And because this is her, Huck, if she says that she wants all of it upfront, then her honor and her demands must be must be met. But if she's okay with deferring it, it can be deferred, but the best practice is to give the MaHA upfront. Another

important point, the fourth important point is that the MaHA does not have to be announced during the NECA. Now a lot of people feel that the MaHA has to be announced. And I understand that many of us listening to this, we may come culturally from some other country, and where they always publicly announced how much Mahara is given to the wife. But Islamically speaking, the MaHA amount does not have to be announced during the Nika and so you know, I've come across sometimes people who say that, no, it is a must. Anyone who says that it is a must, you have to show proof that it is a must. It is not a must. In fact, whenever I personally conduct any cause, and marriages, I don't ever

mention the MaHA amount, because usually that is a private matter between the husband and the wife. And they'd like to keep it that way. And that is why we find that even though Nikka is a contract, we also find that the difference between a nickel contract and a business contract is that when there's a business dealings taking place, between two people, the amount is set, the amount is understood. But that's why a business contract is different than a nickel contract. Because in IndyCar contract, you don't have to announce the amount of money. Because at the end of the day, it's not about the money. It's not about the price of work, there's no price tag on necessarily on a

woman, a woman as a woman, she's a human being. And this is this is just by the way, a gift that a husband is giving to his wife. The next important thing is that when it comes to the amount of Maha, there's a lot of love in this area that how much should be given to the bride. And of course, there's so much debate about this. I will say that my general recommendation would it which is that you can give the MaHA that is very predominant in your own society. You know very well and you know, every society is different than from the other society.

What is more arm what is already in your own society, you can go with that. And that's usually called a murder method. Now usually a murder myth method is given when there is no mother amount that is set then the Mahara method, which is very public, which is very general is usually given to the bride. But at the same time, it is also important that stick try to stick to what's going on in your own society. Sometimes they you know, people become very extravagant, sometimes people are giving extremely, very less. So this is why it's very important to try to stick to what is very relevant in your own community. The next one is that the the MaHA amount

set by the wife going back to the Hadith of the Prophet SAW Salem, the MaHA amount set by the bride and the bride's family should not be so much where it becomes very difficult for any young man to approach her. At the same time. The next important advice is that when it comes to giving a gift, now, the the groom gives a gift, this is called a Maha. But there's also a practice within many of our families and that is called the Jehovah's a Jehovah's is where a husband demands something from the from the bride's family. And I do have to be very blunt about this, that unfortunately, today, what is going on is that many of our girls, many of our young women are not able to get married,

because there is so much demand from the from the Groom side. And we find in many cultures, that the the MaHA given to the bride is so small and is so mere, but on the other hand, the groom is demanding so much from the bride's family. Once again, our dean is teaching us that there is a gift that a husband gives to the wife, and this just that a gift or a gift that the Father may give of the bride. That is not something part of our deen. I want to make that very clear. What that means is it is not mandatory and Ardene. What's mandatory is the MaHA but the Jahaz is not important. Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he gave a gift to his daughter Fatima or the Allah Tirana at

the time of her marriage, but he did not give his other daughters. And so what's important is that when it comes to gentlemen, when it comes to our Grooms and our young men and their families, please do not put so much pressure on the bride's family. You know, you have to provide the bedroom furniture you have to provide everything in the kitchen and so forth. And subhanAllah I mean, once again, this is flipping the entire system of Islam. Our deen is give the gift to the bride. And you know the bride's family if they choose to give something that's a different case. But the for the groom's family should not be coming forward and putting so much unnecessary pressure on the bride's

family. The next important point I want to make regarding Maha is that a lot of people say that you know, I've taken care of my wife for a very long time. I you know, I bought her a house I bought her clothes in the past I took care of her I sheltered her, I gave her food now I don't have to give her the Mahara. That's wrong. Maha is separate. And all these other responsibilities is part of a husband's, you know, these are husbands responsibility, to provide shelter, to provide food to, you know, to buy her, her, you know, her necessary items to take care of her is the responsibility of the husband. And the MaHA is another responsibility altogether. So a person cannot say I've given

her so much there's no need to give her the MaHA. The next thing is that if the

if the MaHA has been set, and God forbid, there is a divorce, that in that case, then half of the Mahabharata has been settled or agreed upon, will be given to the bride. If the divorce, God forbid, takes place before consummation, if it takes place after consummation of marriage, than the full Maha will be given to, to the bride. Now Subhanallah I find that many times, you know, unfortunately, it's very sad that there are so many divorces taking place within our own community. But nonetheless, what's happening is that when, even when after they are divorced, the bride is saying the woman is saying the ex wife is saying that, you know, my husband, he owes me my Maha. And

a lot of times, the ex husband is saying that no, I won't give her the MaHA. Remember, if there's ever a situation like this, the ex husband is required by ALLAH SubhanA wa Tada because this is her hook. And finally, is that if the MaHA has not been given by the husband, and the husband does pass away, then in that case the MaHA will be taken out from the possessions and from the wealth left behind by the husband to

Pay the Muhammad for his wife. So I ask Allah subhanho wa Taala I just want to clarify these important things, you may have some questions you can inshallah most certainly put them in the comment section and Inshallah, if I get a chance I will get to them in sha Allah. But I just want to just go through some of these important points. Regarding Maha I ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to put Baraka in our families may Allah subhana wa tipo baraka and the marriages of our young brothers and sisters, and all of our young brothers and sisters who are looking for a suitable spouse, may Allah subhanho wa Taala make this journey, an easy win for them, and may Allah subhanaw taala help them

find a spouse, that will be a means of their happiness in this dunya and akhira amigable Alameen does that Kamala Hyatt a salam Wa alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

in Muslim me now almost Lima T one meaning me 19 one quantity now

the most law flooding pain I was flooding bonds he was eating I was slaving a lot the one before she you know she

wasn't voice hearing I want to call she is the one downside BP now one downside the party was on me now was all in

wouldn't have you Lena photo gentlemen one half year warranty was good enough. Guess

what the good going on? I don't know who

what and gentlemen Eileen.