Channel: Nadim Bashir
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during this COVID era, one of the things that I have been noticing and observing within the community, based on the emails that I've been receiving, based on the calls that I have been receiving, is that there's a lot of conflict taking place at our homes,
between husband and wife, between parents and children, and even between siblings.
And of course, it is difficult. I'm not saying it's easy, but it requires an immense amount of patience to be around everyone in your family.
You have to know what is hikma? You have to know what to say when to say how to say and what time you say. This is also very important. And when we study what conflicts in general, between family members, we always start off with the most important thing and that is communication. It is communication. This idea that we hear every single Joomla every single Joomla football, yeah, yo Khaled in
Gulu said either. What does Olin sadita mean? It means to say a good word. Some orlimar have gone into this debate that is in reference to some as God, La ilaha illa Allah Subhana Allah, but there are other meanings of this ayah and it means to say something that will make the situation better, to say something that will calm the situation down at home, or wherever you may be. Or if you are in a situation or let's just say you have been dragged into a situation and you've been asked to judge between two people. Instead of is you can say a word that can bring two people closer together. Or you can say one word, and that will even increase the fight between the two people. Brothers and
sisters this tongue this up
ability to communicate is a gift from Allah subhana wa to Allah or Rahman I lemma Al Quran Allah says, first of all, he's a rock man. He is the Most Merciful. I love Al Quran, he has taught the Quran holla inside, he has created a human being, I never will by and he has given this human being the ability to speak. And when Allah has given us this ability to speak, we should remind ourselves that Allah will hold us accountable for what comes from our mouth. What comes through our mouth, Allah will hold us accountable, every single word that we have said everything that we say to one another, Allah will hold us on the Day of Judgment accountable for it. When Allah says in the Quran,
from Mala to Luna Yama even undeniable that for every single Nirmal Allah will question us about it. This is also a blessing from Allah subhanho wa taala.
Can you honestly imagine? Just imagine if Allah took away from us the ability to speak? How would we able to communicate? How am I able to communicate my emotions? How can I communicate my feelings? How can I communicate my wants and my needs? There are so many people today Subhanallah they're not able to communicate. There's so many people in the special needs community, they're not able to speak and express what they want. But brothers and sisters when Allah has given you and me the ability to speak, let's use a snare Amma of ALLAH SubhanA wa Taala in the correct way. When it comes to the relationship of parents and children,
children have to show the utmost highest level of respect to their parents.
You have to show respect period there is no buts there is no ifs. There is no compromise in this matter. Have a child who says that my parents have done me wrong. My parents so many kids today, they call me so many teenagers call me today. And they say that my parents are psychologically abusing me physically abusing me emotionally abusing me. And can I say something back to them disrespectfully? And I always tell them that no matter what, you cannot be disrespectful to your parents. You cannot be disrespectful. Rocco Balraj Buka taboo
of invalidating your Santa imam in Kibera. huduma ocular Huma falla often, Walton Yes, you can dialogue with your parents, you can talk to your parents, you can engage in a conversation with your parents. There's nothing wrong with that, but disrespect is out of the fold is out of the picture. So when we study the Quran, what do we find that a man who is not even a believer, a man who's not even a believer, he says idols yet Ibrahim alayhis salam, our forefather Ibrahim or your son when he would refer to him he will say yeah, I'm a tea. Oh my dear father. Oh my dear father, this is pranic etiquettes This is the Quran teaching us that when we need to address our parents, this is how we
address our parents. For the parents Allah subhanho wa Taala has taught us to the story of law C'mon Yagoona LA to should be la Yagoona in in Tacoma all the harbor Yeah, boo.
Oh my dear son, oh my dear son, oh my dear son. The Quran has injunctions for everyone rules are for everyone. What the Quran expects from us is that we apply those rules in our life.
In each of our cultures, in our languages, there are some words that we say that are considered as derogatory words are considered as disrespectful, we should stay away from those words.
The Quran also teaches us that when in fact not just the Quran, but the Sunnah teaches us that you should never talk when you are too emotional. When you are emotionally compromised, do not talk and not only that, but when you talk do not mix emotions into your speech. Why? Because this can have an effect on your speech. When Java Leola to nine, he was called over and over again along with all the Muslims and Abyssinia, the arrays are coming they're telling them to Joshi send these people back. These people are gonna cause problems in your city in your town in your country, send them back to Makkah, and the Muslims are saying, Oh, no Joshi, this is who we are. This is what we were. This is
who we are today because the beauty of Islam and the blessings of Islam and the ninja she says you can stay and then the next day again the Quraysh comes and they say that these are people who are going to cause fitna in your land. And again, they call the Muslims. And this happened to three times in Java, another EULA and he could have lost his cool. He could have lost his cool and he could have become like outraged, but he came he
was remain calm, he remained calm. And he talked in the most beautiful way because of which Allah put something in the heart of the Joshi, and he sent the Quraysh backpacking back home that you leave from here, and these people are gonna stay here. When it comes to even correcting mistakes, how do we talk to each other? You have a man who has come inside the house of Allah, a man who has come inside the masjid, and he's urinating. He's urinating, and the Sahaba want to get upset, they want to jump on this man. And the Prophet saw some says, let this man finish his business. And the later on awesome he called him he never scolded him. He never got upset with him. But he was so
humble. The problem is, his his tone was so calm. And he asked him that Do you understand what what you know what place this is? Do you understand? What do we do here? And then he told him that these are things that we don't do here. Look at the other. Look at the etiquette. Look at the clock of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, brothers and sisters today in our own families. Subhanallah we use words in our families, husband and wives amongst each other using such words that will Allah He if we were to see if people were to hear what kind of words we are sometimes using in our families, we will not be able to show our face. This is what we're doing today in our families.
Let's remind ourselves that I may not be hold accountable today. But in the law, on the Day of Judgment, I will be held accountable for Allah subhanho wa taala. It was also the etiquette of the Prophet sallallahu it was send them part of communication is that when you talk to someone, especially our kids, especially our teenagers, please listen to me very carefully. When I say this, today. So many times I've seen youth and children, they're talking to their parents, and they're walking away have absolutely no regard for their parents. The Prophet said Allahu Allah, he was setting him whenever he would talk to someone, he will face them, he would face them, give them his
due attention, because this shows respect. You cannot be talking to someone and just walking away. This is considered as bad either. So this is why brothers and sisters, this is also part of communication. And finally, the most important lesson that we can take from the seed of the prophets. I send them the most beautiful Hadith wherein he summarizes everything into one short Hadith. He says Are you familiar on how you run? Only a smart, so beautiful, so short, so simple. You know, so to the point, he says Allah, you said, I'm saying something good, or stay quiet, say something good, or stay quiet. You rather stay quiet because when you stay quiet, it's not written
on in your book of deeds, you're not going to be held accountable for it on the Day of Judgment. When we talk before we talk we should think what we're going to say today we say and then we think it does not make any sense. The rallies salaam Subhanallah study he said we will learn that before he would say anything he would think through what he was about to say and then he was saying as a joke everyone can him very short very few words and straight to the point. This is the o'clock this is the adage of communication that today you and I we need to implement in our life. The problems are some he was very also his tone was also very calm in our families tried to keep the tone very
common our families I ask Allah subhanaw taala to give us the ability to act on what has been sent or hurt May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us the communication techniques, the style and the method the way the Prophet sallallahu it was some he had a mutable I mean BarakAllahu li Walakum Philippa and all the whenever I know what you're coming out with they can Hakeem and stuff with Allah honey welcome what is in mystery First off, you know, in the who will have a full Rahim.
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