Our Gate to Jannah – Honoring Our Parents

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Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim in Alhamdulillah Muhammad who when I started you know when I started when I wrote the villa Himanshu Rudy unforseen Owlman sejahtera Molina Mejia Hillo Flambeau Villa remain your deal for their hair the yellow one is to allow you to heal Allahu la sharika wanted to do I know Muhammad Abdul rasuluh valid for the call along with the baraka, Allah. Majeed Afrikan Hamid by other old belimbing shaytaan rajim Bismillahi Rahmani Raheem yeah you and Robert Kamala the Halacha

wahala common Huzzah. Jaha Weber salmon hamari Jelena cathedra when he says what up la Hello Rita Sir, don't be you are harming Allah can Alikum la Kiba walk Allah to Allah un Ludhiana, Amman otaku? Hapa Ducati while at the Madonna Illa Antimo. Simone lokala to Allah Yola, Deena. Aminata Blaha Hulu Conan said either you say hey, come on Malecon wellfield Rubicon a minute Allah rasool Allah philosophers frozen all the Masonic Allahu La lien for in stock Allah Hadith Vicky tabula will Hona how do you how do you Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was shall have more room to have work will be the work will be the art in Bala work collaborative infinity

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loss of 100 went to Allah this as he has gathered us here today on the day of Joomla. May Allah subhanho wa Taala gather us on the Day of Joomla on the day of glioma, along with our families in the companionship of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in Judah for those that Allah along with the Sahaba, Amin Yarrabah aalameen.

Today in sha Allah in my hotbar, I want to talk about a very important topic that constantly requires us to remind ourselves about what Allah subhanaw taala says on the topic, and it is about respecting parents. But before I start this, I do have to say one thing, because it is a common issue within our Muslim community, that when it comes to relationships, all kinds of relationships, whether it's a relationship between husband and wife, whether it's a relationship between parents and children, whether it's a relationship between relatives, and so forth. Every time there's a hug that takes place discussing relationships, in particular, when the Hatim can only discuss only one

thing, then people often come afterward they say that Well, you did not discuss this, you do not discuss that, for example, there are times in the past, I've talked about this. And I've had youth come to me and say, Well, you did not talk about the role and the responsibilities of the parents. Yes, we have responsibilities. But what about our parents? And there are times when I've talked about that? And the parents come back to me later on and they're upset. The Why did you call us out? And why did you why did you address this topic in front of our children? And I asked you this one question that where else and that what other time do you want me to address this topic? You will

need to discuss this after fajr When majority of the community is on here or after Aisha when the majority of the communities I hear. So when we discuss relationships. The Hatim can only discuss one aspect of the relationship. They cannot discuss the entire picture in perhaps 25 minutes. So me what I'm about to discuss today is not marginalizing. I'm not ignoring the other relationships. I'm not ignoring the other aspects of relationships, but today in the hook, but there's only one aspect, I can talk about this and that is why I've chosen chosen this topic today. And perhaps later on Inshallah, just like I've done in the past, I will also address that what are the roles and the

responsibilities of the parents too, first of all, is that when we talk about respecting our parents, Allah subhanho wa Taala we've heard these ayat before, once again, it's a reminder for all of us, that when we are young, we are usually in need of our parents. But the time comes in life, that we become more mature, we begin to grow our network, we began to grow our network of friends and so forth. And there comes a time that we feel like that we don't we don't need our parents. We are no longer in need of their assistance and their care for us. At that time we push aside our parents, Allah subhanho wa Taala and the Quran he says that it is our responsibility that when it

comes to our parents, we have to always be humble. Allah subhanho wa Taala says, What fifth Lahoma Jana hadoo liminal Raha Mia Rama will Robin hum Houma Kamara Yanis of Iran, Allah subhanho wa Taala says the IRB for this forum. What Cadorna Buka Allah taboo Illa iya or Bill Wiley they near Santa immeasurable lugana in the Cal Kibera huduma Oklahoma, Fela Tullahoma orphan Walton, Houma. We're golden Karima ALLAH SubhanA. Allah is telling us that when you get to that point in life, when you feel like that you're no longer in need of your parents you feel independent on your own. Then at that time, you still are not allowed to feel like you are above your parents. In fact, whenever you

talk to your parents, you are to be humble in front of them. You are not allowed to raise your voice in front of your parents. And even at that time, Allah subhanho wa Taala says that just like a bird when you see a bird coming down, when you see a bird descending just like it spreads out its wings. Just like if you see honestly even in the airplane when you see the plane descending the wings, they expand Allah subhanaw taala is telling us that when you dis when it comes to your parents, you come down as if you are still in need of your parents. You treat your parents like as if they are the ones who are taking care of you and you show the utmost amount of humbleness when it comes to your

parents. Also when it comes to our parents, we must show that we are grateful to them for everything they have done for us Wallahi brothers and sisters it is not easy being a parent. It is not easy being a parent, a mother has to go through so many sacrifices she has to go through some you know at times psychologically it affects her sometimes emotionally it affects them physically, of course it affects them. Their social life takes a hit when a mother becomes a mother

And, and not only that, but what we have seen commonly in families that they usually have two, three children in the very beginning. It's not easy for any mother to make sacrifices on top of that the Father has to make constant sacrifices is not easy going out and working hard and dealing with people outside will Allah He you ask a father what it takes to go outside and work hard, they will tell you exactly. And what's beautiful about this relationship is that Allah subhana wa Taala has put this naturally in the mother that they know how to do the therapy of their children. And naturally, Allah subhanho wa Taala has given that man, the ability to go outside and work hard,

though our society today to be very blunt, there are trying to mix these roles and so forth. Where I have seen today, women who have gone outside, they felt like they can go outside and work like fathers very quickly, they realize how difficult it is to go outside and work like a father does on a day to day basis. But the point is that we need to be grateful to our parents, when our parents made so many sacrifices. When we were young, we don't realize that only till the time comes that we become a father. That is why we have to be absolutely grateful to our parents, no matter what the situation is. Another thing that's very important when it comes to our parents is that often when it

comes to a discussion, we often try to just provide our perspective, rather than trying to understand their perspective. And our Dean has taught us one the key bit, one of the key traits of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was that he was a very great listener. That means a part of the art of listening is that you understand other people's perspectives. When we talk about marriage, we always talk about that understanding the perspective of your spouse, try to see the situation from their angle, try to put yourself in their shoes and try to see the situation from their from their lens and their aspect. Likewise, when it comes to our parents, there might be a

disagreement, there might be a discussion taking place. And there are two counter arguments taking place. But it is also very important part of being a good listener. And showing good o'clock is trying to see the situation, from their perspective, do not feel like that I am smarter than my parents, I know more than my parents. And I'm going to always try to, I'm going to try to impose my will, in my opinion upon my parents, rather at times, we should try to see the situation from their perspective. The next thing that we also have to do is no matter what we try to spend time with them, yes, we live in a time that where we might live far away from our parents. But if we live far

away from our parents, then you try to get on zoom with them. You try to get on FaceTime with them. There are no more excuses to not spending time with our parents, we have to spend time with our parents, whether it is even a call, but give your parents a call. Now, the next thing is that of course there's going to be situations, let's not live in a utopian world. Let's live in a practical world. I understand very clearly that when I deal with people in the in the Muslim community, there are so many people who have come to me and they have told me that how toxic the relationship has become with their parents, and how toxic sometimes parents can be Yet Allah subhanho wa Taala he has

taught us few things in the Quran. When it comes to parents who are toxic, or parents who are not listening, they are just stuck in their own ways. Even in those kinds of situations. What does the Quran teach us? The first thing the Quran teaches us is that we never tried to speak above them. When our parents are speaking we stay absolutely quiet out of respect and dignity. When we refer to our parents, we refer to our parents with the utmost amount of dignity and respect. And not only that, we see that in the story of Ibrahim Allah, your son, his father is a mistake. His father is someone who not only is a mistake, but he's the one who is facilitating that *. And not only

that, but I brought him out he is constantly referring to his father as your ability, your ability, we don't ever find that there is speaking and the child is trying to speak above their parents. So the very first thing is that when we speak, we don't speak above our parents. Next thing is that we treat we speak in the most humble way and we we lower our voice. We don't ever raise our voice in front of our parents. Once again the Quran says Falah Tullahoma often what is off mean? Off means that do not say anything that can be considered as this pleasurable to your parents. Something that can pain them something that can cause them to be painful to be to be. You're not to say anything

that can cause them pain or them being left hurt, but you rather say something that is positive in nature. That is what Allah subhanho wa Taala says Wakulla Houma Kolon Karima says something that is positive but think about this when it comes to Ibrahim Allah you some talking to his mystic father he

He's saying, when Musala you Sam is told to talk to a tyrant in a nice way, in a humble way for all Allahu Holan lay in and speak to him fit around in a calm way in a humble way. And not only that, but when it comes to a smile Rhodiola on a SMAP interview, Bucher, she came to us allah sallallahu ala he was setting them at the time of her Davia and said that my mother, she is not a Muslim. She is coming to Medina, how am I supposed to treat her Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, this isn't a Muslim, the prophet Allah you some told her that on her arrival, you need to keep you need to respect her and show dignity and respect. So think about this. This is what the problem is I'm

saying about a mother who's a Muslim. This is what Allah is saying to Musa to treat a tyrant, a volume, think about when it comes to our parents, when it comes to our Muslim parents, or parents in general. How are we supposed to show them respect and how we're supposed to talk to them? If this is what Allah is telling the prophets to talk to people in this way that we need to talk to our parents in the most respectful way. Another thing that's very important when it comes to our parents, no matter how much there might be a conflict, how much there might be disputes. One thing that's very important is that we don't ever roll our eyes, or do anything that is considered as a disrespectful

gesture. Some people roll their eyes, some people did turn their cheek, and they turn their face away, as if they have absolutely no regard for their parents feelings. At that time you look down, and you listen to what your parents have to say. And you let them speak what they have to say. And that is what our Dean has taught us. You don't say anything that is disrespectful, or do anything. Often I've seen children, I've seen youth, their parents are talking to them. And while they're talking to them, they're just walking away. This is highly disrespectful when it comes to our parents, when our parents are talking to us, we stand there, we listen till the conversation is on

over, we are not allowed to leave and we be there for our parents. And there comes a time when there is severe conflict in that kind of situation. The Quran still teaches us that you're not allowed to raise your voice in front of your parents. You're not allowed to be disrespectful to your parents. And that the third thing is that was Sahiba, whom if it duniya, ma rufa and you you give them company, you sit in their company, I've seen situations, I've heard of situations where there's so much severe conflict, and the child goes, and he's trying to or she's trying to make amends with their parents, and the parents don't want to talk to them at all. That's not your business, if they

talk to you or not. Your job is our job is we go there and we sit there and we show our presence. That is what the Quran teaches us. The Quran does not teach us that we have to force them to talk to us, they might be upset with us, for us for some reason, but the Quran teaches us to give them company and that is why we will do that. So this is the very first thing that when it comes to our parents, this is something very important when it comes to respect. The second thing I really want to address when it comes to when it comes to respect is that you have to really wonder why is there so much disrespect today in the world? Yes, Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and the Hadith

of Gibreel. He did mention that one of the signs of the judgment is that there will be severe disrespect towards the parents. But it has to make you wonder what is the cause? What is the root of all this disrespect taking place? In our society, they make this very clear. The family is the core nucleus for every single person. You go, where do you go to find solace and comfort? You might have a very troubled house, you might have a very troubled relationship, you might have a dysfunctional house. But the reality is, if you do not find peace and comfort at home, you will not find peace of comfort anywhere else. Go and live somewhere outside. I've seen many people, especially men, they're

not getting along. They're living in a different place. You're not going to find peace and comfort. We have to fix the relationship with within the house. The family is the nucleus of the society. Families, good healthy families, make up a community, a healthy community develops gems in the community who are going to be leaders for the upcoming generation. This is how it goes. You have Rasulullah Salem, a very Ideal Muslim community. The Quran teaches us the Sunnah teaches us the what is the definition of a meaningful family, those meaningful families made up a very beautiful community and that community develop Sahaba and young brothers and young sisters who were leaders of

the Muslim world later on. This is how it works. What the society is trying to do today is they're marginalizing, they are destroying the status of motherhood. They're destroying the status of what a father is. Today, right now in you go on TV and television. They are destroying the status of fathers. There are so many TV shows that have marginalized they have

demonize the status of fathers showing the fathers are nothing but you know, they're nothing but trouble and they're nothing and they are incompetent intellectually incompetent, and educationally incompetent, and they have no social skills and so forth. This is what media is trying to do. They're trying to destroy the honor and the dignity and the status of fatherhood. They are my marginalizing what fatherhood is, and our kids are constantly watching this. And no matter what any person would say that it's not affecting me, but when you see something scientifically when you see something, it goes in SR in your subconscious mind. And later on, the more and the more you see this

kind of stuff is sits in you and it begins to shape how you think and how you think it has an effect on how we behave and so forth. You cannot tell me that it will not have an effect it does have a serious effect. The status of fatherhood is being marginalized when it comes to motherhood. Let me be very clear about this.

There is such a status given to fathers indeed. Likewise, there is such a status and amazing status given to mothers in our deen to motherhood is not any other. Just any kind of job is such a status that is honored by Allah subhanho wa taala. If no one in society honors it, Allah subhanho wa Taala has honored it Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam has honored it. Let me be very clear when I say this today, many of our girls, many of our women feel like being a mother and staying at home is useless. Staying at home and being a mother is not fulfilling the fullest potential of who I am. Go back and study the lives of our ASLEF go and study the lives of our own Ummah, majority of the times they

were raised by their mothers, their tarbiyah was done by their mothers. Now let me be very clear, because I can understand how this can be misunderstood. If a woman needs to go out and work, because they need to make ends meet, absolutely go in work, if they want to go and earn an education, because they want to enhance their education. Go ahead and work. Go ahead and enhance your education. If a woman says I want to go out and work because I have free time. And I just want to just pursue whatever I studied, I really want to go into that the kids are off to school, I have free time in the morning. I really want to pursue what i've what I've studied for all my life. No

problem. No problem. My problem is that today, society and let me be very blunt, current day feminism has taught our women that you will not reach your fullest potential. If you stay at home as a mother, they have demeaned the status of motherhood, you will not be successful if you're just a mother, forget about what society says. Remember, for our mothers, Allah has given you a status Rasulullah saw someone has given you a status, what more of a status Do you want? What more status Do you want. So let us remind ourselves that society is destroying our families today, the society is is destroying the status of fatherhood, the status of motherhood, and I asked you then, when

there is no fatherhood, there is no motherhood in a family, then where's the child going to go for there to be young, they're going to go to society for the tarbiyah Wallahi, they will lose their Iman if they go to society for the tarbiyah. So this is the next thing. The last thing I do have to mention is this.

It got me thinking some time ago because I've seen this over and over again. That yes, parents are being openly disrespected by their kids. But it got me thinking and just thinking about the causes and so forth. And it got me to a brought me to the conclusion. Another conclusion is that if parents want respect, parents have to respect each other in front of their kids.

If you don't show respect to your spouse in front of your kids, the kids see this. You have major disputes, take behind closed doors, handle your disputes behind closed doors, even if there's a small dispute, small minor dispute between you and your wife, you and your husband and voices are raised a little No, lower those voices. So first of all is number one, when it comes to major disputes, take him behind closed doors. Number two is

verbally respect to each other. Do not raise your voice in front of each other. Number three, when often children you know, see you have to understand if you're gonna if you're gonna disrespect someone in from someone else. It gives them sort of the permission and authority to be as disrespectful

when that happens

happens. When that happens when children try to get in the middle, and they try to pin one parent against the other. It happens often, children may get in the middle and say, I take the fault of the side of father, or I take the side of mother, or during that time, they might say to the Father that You are wrong, they might tell her mother, you are wrong in those kinds of situations. Parents, please listen to me. This is not about an ego battle. This is about the therapy of your children and teach them what is right and what's wrong at that time. Parents need to stand up for each other and tell their children that this is not your place to speak. This is not your place to speak. You have

to respect your mother, you have to show respect to your father. That is what we need to teach our children. And especially, especially, you know how many times I am so

let me say I'm so sick of hearing this.

That especially when it comes to disputes, yes, there's might be such a great dispute between mother and father, that they're contemplating even divorce. You know what happens in a divorce situation, they both are trying to poison the mind of their children.

Father is bad father is this father is that fathers his father is that

and the fathers also are doing the same thing about their mothers. And like, in like I have said before, when it comes to physical abuse, majority of the time the physical abuse happens. From the father's side, there are cases of women also committing physical abuse. But let me say this and be very blunt about this when it comes to demeaning one parent demeaning the other. It is often the mothers who are demeaning the fathers, in the cases of divorces, if there is and there are cases, once again, I'm not saying the father is also demeaning the mothers they're showing, they're showing a total lack of disrespect, a lack of respect towards their wives. What we need to teach our

children is even if we're going through a divorce, even if their parents are divorced, the mother has to teach the children, they no matter what you have to respect your father, you have to go and visit your father no matter what. It's an issue between the husband and the wife, why are we poisoning the minds of our children. And likewise, a father needs to tell the children to that no matter what it was an issue between me and your mother, but you have to show respect to your mother. This is a balanced system. Today we are living in extremist extremism situations. Either the kids are totally on the father's side, and they don't want to look at their mother, or is the complete

opposite. Our dean has taught us balance. Where's that balance today when it comes to those kinds of situations. So that is why it is absolutely important that we keep these things in mind. Once again, I talked about respect. Number two is I talked about how society is destroying the status of motherhood and fatherhood. And the third thing is that when it comes to parents, if you want your children to respect you, parents got to respect themselves and respect each other in front of their children. I ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to give us to feed to respect our parents. May Allah Subhanallah give our parents a long lives. May Allah Subhana Allah put Baraka in their lives and ask

ALLAH SubhanA wa Taala that if any of our parents have passed away, may Allah subhanaw enlighten their graves May Allah subhanho wa Taala give them the best in this dunya and akhira immunoblotted Amin Baraka BarakAllahu Nana welcome frequent and all the want to find out what you're gonna do with the Hakeem Ester for Allah Holly welcome Melissa Messina festival fellow in the hula hula Rahim

Mr. La Rahman Rahim Al Hamdulillah Muhammad who want to stay in Horner Sofitel one hour with a bit of a mission all the unforeseen I'm gonna say yeah, Dr. Molina Miyagi love LA medulla who may Allah Allah when Allah illallah wa ala Sharika, Lahu, Ernesto and Mohammed and Abdullah rasuluh I'm about of course there's so much more that I want to mention but because of time I cannot The last thing I will say is this. If your parents are alive or have passed away, the best way that you can make for them is Robert Hamama Kamara Yanis Ohira Robert Hamama Kamara Yanis Avira, Robert Fridley. What do you worry they wouldn't be Nina? Yomi Appelman hisab this was a dua of Ibrahim Malik Islam. The

second one is fun and soda Ibrahim, and the first one is Robin Hood. Welcome Robin. Saphira is fun as sort of a sloth. But we'll try to make dua for your parents, brothers and sisters. Yes, relationships are difficult. Yes, it is not easy, I get it. But at the same time, the Quran has laid out some certain foundational teachings and some core principles and those core principles can never be violated. I ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to grant Sophia, ask Allah subhanho wa Taala grant our parents a long life me Lebanon I mean, along with someone Muslim in Allah Who Muslim Islam when Muslim enough equally McCann Allahumma sunnah I'm an alum and holla finna Wofford beloved an hour

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so last so Sakuma. So the Hello string lines fill in the gaps I asked the brother so please come inside if you see any space empty. Often there are spaces empty in front of you please fill those on gaps. Please make sure the rows are complete. In the back especially often the rows are incomplete. When I say often I mean 99.99% The rows are incomplete. So please make sure all the rows in the back are complete. Same thing for the sisters. Does that come with it?

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so I'm waiting for a broker to there was a lot of requests for. For those who are sick in our community, please give them your DUA, and he be the best seller but nurse which Fanta Shafi Nash, if I lash out she fell in love it was summer long was from Oregon and more than was the Minami La Plata mean. There are some people who have also passed away may Allah have mercy upon them. May Allah subhanho wa Taala give them the best in this dunya and akhira and may Allah subhanho wa Taala enlighten their grave and give their families over Jamila Mirabella Alameen finally for those of you on your way out please if you can stop by and donate anything you can inshallah to the masjid and

our operating expenses duck Malachite salam ala Kampala barakato