Nadim Bashir – Muhammad the Best Example #10 How He SAW Treated his Spouse pt1

Nadim Bashir
AI: Summary © The Prophet alayhi wa sallam teaches men to treat their husbands kindly, but verbal abuse is sad and unacceptable. He advises men to avoid showing their faces in society and avoid physically abuse towards their husbands. He emphasizes the importance of balancing family time with personal time, showing respect and love towards spouses, and not just thinking about one's feelings. He also discusses the impact of COVID-19 on family members and how hugs and body language indicate a positive attitude.
AI: Transcript ©
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Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. Bismillah R. Rahman Rahim, Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah Muhammad while he was so happy as mine, my brother Welcome to another segment of our role models, the most perfect example for all of us Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. And once again, the objective of this series is that we're going to go through how did the Prophet alayhi salam treat everyone around him. So in our some of our previous segments we've had how to the property, some treat the youth of his community, we've also shared that how to properly is treat those who lack self confidence, those who are insecure about themselves how to

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properly some treat them. We also have talked about how the Prophet saw some treat treated the elderly, what did he say about treating the elderly and so forth. Now, today, inshallah today and in our next segment, for the next two segments, I will say that we're going to go through that What did the Prophet alayhi salam do? And how did Rasulullah salaam treat his wife's? See brothers and sisters, we have to understand that the Prophet alayhi salam is teaching us, He is advising us, he is telling us what to do when it comes to our spouses. And what's important to understand is that when it comes to a spouse, when it comes to a man, and I'm talking about for our wives, that they

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have made a certain sacrifice to leave their homes. They're made of sacrifice, they used to live with their parents, they used to be around their mother and their father, and their mother and father always cared for them. And now the fact that they're making a sacrifice, the parents are making a sacrifice. And they're, they're, you know, they're letting their daughter go away, and this daughter of theirs is coming into your home. Okay, for all husbands think about this. They're making a sacrifice, and they're coming into your home. And not only that, but eventually they will become she will become the mother of your children, she will have to go through this physical, you know,

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this physical challenge, and this emotional challenge of having children, and then she will take care of the children and so forth. So it only makes sense that we treat our wives with kindness, we treat our wives with honor with dignity and respect. And so we will go through some of the things that the Prophet saw some he has done with his own wives, just to give us an idea that how do we need to treat our own wives, first of all, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam as a way to create a mindset Rasulullah sallallahu it was something he mentioned, in a hadith, the most perfect of the believers, in the best of them are those who are the best in terms of their character. And

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the best of you are those who are the kindness to their family. That means that the Prophet of Islam is telling us that if you want to be considered as the best, if you want to be considered as the best in terms in my dictionary in my books, then you have to be a person who treats his wife kindly, who treat her family kindly. Now, today Subhanallah when you look at a majority of the issues people have asked, why are there so many issues in our community? When it comes to husbands? Why do we find so many cases that husbands are mistreating their wives? And the answer is very simple, first of all, is that there's a lack of knowledge when it comes to the and then not only that, but secondly,

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I will say is that they look at their own fathers and how and they see their fathers treating their mothers a certain way. See, what happens is that culturally speaking, in most cases, I will say nine all but in most cases, what culture has taught us that how we should, how we should treat our wives and how we should treat our women. They are for the most part, I can strongly say that they go against our deen they go against our deen the prophets of salaam, the prophet Salam, where we learn from him is that the best of you are those who are the best to his wives, and you're the best to your spouse. So think about this, how we are treating our wives today. So let's go through some

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examples of what did the Prophet alayhi salam do when it came to treating his wives? The very first thing is that he never raised his hand and he never was physically abusive toward his wives. He should have the Allahu Taala on her. She mentioned that mount Dora Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Hardiman law who he never once raised his hand on any servant on any servant. And then not only that, one that Imran uttered, I know on any of his wives, you

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Let's talk a moment listening about that the province or never wants to raise his hands if you and I believe. And if you and I say that we are believers in Rasulullah, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, we follow Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and you raise your hands on your spouse, first of all, shame on you. Shame on you, that you raise your hands on your wife, if the property is some did not do it. What gives you the authority? Did your culture give you the authority to do that? If the culture says that this is normal, if the culture says that this is acceptable, but the problem is, I'm saying that no, it is not acceptable, you have a decision to make that what do you think you

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want to do next? Today, we live in a society for some reason, that we think that only, you know, by verbally abusing your spouse and your wife, by being physically abusive towards your wife, that you have control in the house, you're able to show her who's the dominant person in the house, to the Prophet, some ever do that to his family, that problem ever go to any of his wives and say that he has his dominance, you know, you know, he's trying to prove who is dominant inside the house. In fact, I will say that if you're more worried about proving your dominance inside the house, then I have to say that you're very insecure, you have a lack of confidence in you. That's why you feel

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like you have to do that to your wife, in order to get in order to shoot show true DOM inside your house. Shame on you. The problem is I've never did that is the problem. Some was never physically abusive. The property some was never verbally abusive, either. This is something that's very important. Today, it is so sad, it it will lie, it is so sad, that people who are coming to the masjid people who call themselves religious, they are, you know, the language they use against your spouse is such that will lie if people found out in the community, that this is how they talk to their wife, they will not be able to show their face in the society. This is how they talk to their

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spouse. I mean, you know, such a filthy language that men use against her wife. I have one question for all those men who do something like that. That Do you think that this is acceptable before the Prophet SAW Salem? If you were to stand before the province, Salam? And if the prophet it is someone standing there? Do you think you can talk to your spouse that same way? The answer I'm going to let me answer that for you answer is no. Then you will not be able to talk to your wife that same way in front of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, so please, please stop verbally and physically abusing your wives. This is not how Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam. He treated his wives. Yes, there

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are times when there are situations when there is a problem between the husband and wife. Still, at the end of the day physically being abusive, verbally being abusive is not the solution. It is not the solution. The profiling some has taught us there was a hadith of a woman sold on the Autobahn where he was hitting his slave, he is hitting his slave, something that may have been culturally accepted at that time. Yet Rasulillah Salam, he's telling us almost all that still, the fact that you are you may be his master, he may be your slave, that still does not give you the right and even if he did something wrong, that still does not give you the right to hate him. If this is the

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Prophet he is I'm talking to someone who's considered as a master versus a slave. Then what do you think the Prophet it is someone hasn't says about a husband, who verbally and physically abuses his wife day in and day out, and there is no justification. Today, you have men at times will come and say, well, she did this. And she did that. Or she said this and she said that, still, that does not give you the right to hit to lift up your hand against your spouse. So this is the very first thing how the problem he treated his wife. The second thing that he did always is that he always consulted with them. No matter where he was, he would always consult with his wife, because this is how you

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show love to someone else. To show that I care about your opinion, to show your wife that I am taking your opinion. I'm consulting with you. That shows a you are you're careful of her opinion, not just careful, but you respect her opinion. You show her that you are a pivotal role. You play a pivotal role in this family, you have a status in this family. This is what happens when you consult with others. If someone did not take your consultation, think about it. If you are in a family, and then someone took everyone's opinion, but your opinion was not taken. How would you feel? You will not feel right? You will not feel you will feel disrespected. Think about the mother of your

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children. She does so much and you cannot take your opinion. Why? Because culturally we learn in many cases that if you are the breadwinner of the house, and you're making all the money in the house and you're making perhaps more than her in

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Some cases, then you don't need to take her opinion. That's not what we learn from us lotsa Salem, in the time of her day via the province on went to Ole Miss Salama, and one of the most difficult times of his life, he went to OMA Selma and he consulted with her. And it's not like as if he consulted with her. And he just ignored her what she had to say. But he consulted with her, she gave her opinion. And he did exactly what she had said to him. And lo and behold, that was the solution for the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam, brothers and sisters, the Prophet alayhi salam, if he can consult with his family members, if he can consult with his wife, and that is not a you know,

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that's not him losing or that's not his masculinity diminishing, then there is no reason for you to not consult with your family, when it comes to a point in matters when it comes to matters where they will play a role. When it comes to matters that are relevant to them. You need to always take their opinion, yes, there are going to be some situations such as you know, there might be some situations that you don't need to take their opinion, or you there's no need to consult with them. I understand that not every single matter, but usually majority of the matters, we need to consult our spouses, and everything that we learned about Rasulullah saw someone how he treated his wives was

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that he was always emotional caring about them. He always would think that how is my wife feeling about a certain situation? How is my wife? How does she feel in this kind of situation? Once there was a man who had created some who Yeah, he had, you know, cooked some soup. And he had in virus who also Allahu alayhi wa sallam, and the probably some ask that can i You shall come? And he says, No, this is just only for you. Oh, yeah, Rasul Allah, you know, the prophet it is some did, he turned down that invitation. Again, the invitation came, again, the properties I'm turning down. Third time the invitation came the property. Some said that if you allow Ayesha to come with me, only then I'm

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willing to come otherwise, I'm not willing to come. Why do you think the property some did that is because the property some understands that if I go right now, then I she's going to be home all alone. And you know, for her she's going to be you know, there will be some kind of like pain in her heart that I'm sending all all alone at home. And the property is something's going out. Now, I do want to make this very clear. You know, like, in some families, men go out with their friends, the women go out with their friends, that's absolutely fine. If this is something that's practiced in the family, that's absolutely fine. But it's not also correct. It's not right, that only the man

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gets to go out and be around his friends and have a good time. And the wife never gets that opportunity. There has to be a balance in our family. If you're giving that time to yourself, you want to go hang out with others, Yun and you're not giving your wife that opportunity. Then think about how your wife feels. And she's not going to feel so good about it. Because she's alone at home while you are going having fun. She's all alone at home, the Prophet of Islam he felt and he understood I should have the alotta on has feelings. And that's why he said that he will not do that. Even we also learned in the Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu it was setting up that one day he

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was lying. He was lying down next to it. So the Allah Allah, that's her night. That is her Huck that night. And so that night belongs to her. But what are the properties do now had the Prophet alayhi salam that night it is mentioned that he spent his entire night in arriba to Allah subhanho wa taala. And the next morning beleid came and he sees that the Prophet of Islam is crying. And there's like a puddle of water inside his home because of the tears coming from the eyes of the prophets of Salaam. But what's important to understand because our of this current context, before the providing some stood up, he asked to Alisha, Alisha, is it okay with you that tonight I spend my night with my

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Lord. And the reason why the prophet is someone's asking permission is because he understands that tonight is her Huck, tonight. She wants to be with me. But tonight I want to spend my time with Allah. Now the Prophet alayhi salam, if he was arrogant, he could have said you know what I Isha? I don't care about your feelings. I don't care about what you want. I want to stand before Allah subhanho wa taala. It's a noble cause. I don't care how you feel. That's not what the prophet it sounded. He asked I Isha first. Is it okay with you. And I said, yellow. So Allah, if this makes you happy that this makes me happy, too. I mean, so this is what the Prophet alayhi salam was, so he was

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caring about her emotional feelings. And this is today what we need to do today for the most part, we have no idea. We never are thinking about how our wife will feel about something. And therefore we don't usually pay any attention to that. And we don't pay attention to their feelings. Even we also learned that when the battle of brother came, his own daughter, the property is on his daughter was sick, and her husband or son was there. He wants to go into battle. What are the Prophet alayhi salam saying, No, you stay at home. Oh, man, you stay at home and take care of your family. Because this is what the prophet it sounds teaching that you have to stay at home and

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Take care of your family, if your wife is sick, if your spouse is sick, taking stay at home and looking after them and taking care of them, it becomes our responsibility. The Prophet saw some is in enforcing this. And this is a very strong lesson, especially for those people who want to leave behind their families at times, and they want to go for our purposes, and their wife is sick, their children are sick, and it's absolutely fine with them why picture there's a noble cause you think brother was not a noble cause? Think about it, you think but that was not a noble cause. The very first battle of Islam and Osman could not go why? Because the Prophet it is I'm saying that stay at

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home with your wife. This is a very powerful lesson for all of us brothers. In the in the practices of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, we also learned that the prophets Allah son was always about having a good time, there is nothing about having a good time, there's nothing wrong and having a good time with your wife. You know, sometimes if you can, you know, have someone to come and take care of your children, and go out for dinner, you know, joke around with your wife make each other laugh, you know, it's not the priority, some did not come at home. And he just, you know, he had this stern, you know, attitude. Today, many times men feel like, you know, I need to show on

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the man of the house. So when I go at home, I'm not going to joke around with anyone, I'm not gonna laugh and giggle and you know, have like this, you know, this easygoing temperament with my family, I'm going to have the stern attitude. That's not who the profile is. Some was the profile is something you raised with Aisha or the other on how we all know that story. That one time the Prophet alayhi salam he lost why Isha the second time the Prophet SAW he beat Hi Isha. But like, think about this, there are so many things that we can do today, if you want to sit down as a family and play a board game, do a play a board game, you know, the lighten the mood, play or play with

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each other, in that sense, do things are considered as adventurous with each other. This is what the prerelease is teaching us. Because when you are around your wife, and this is the kind of tempered temperament and the nature that you have, the wife is going to feel very easygoing, too, and this will bring love between the two. Finally, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam. You know, today in many families, we also see a situation that where the man is so religious, and the wife may not be at that level of religiosity. And the husband enforces the wife to come to that level of religiosity. He enforces religion upon his own children, brothers and sisters, the wives of the

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Prophet SAW Selim, were nowhere there were not close in spirituality to the Prophet salallahu Salam, they were on different levels. The prophets have never enforced that upon them. He never like you know, put like force upon them. And he put compulsion upon them. And you know, that they have to do they have to come in spirituality to the level that he is, he will give advice, he would talk to them, encourage them and slowly and gradually build up their spirituality. This is what we need to do when it comes to our own spouses also, when it comes to our own children to if they are not on that level that we need to work on that use hikma, Allah says, Oh, don't read SMEs are bigger, but

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Hekmati well, more a little Hasina, use Hekima and use good advice good words, be encouraging and this is how you bring them up in a religious manner. So this is our first segment regarding how the poverty is I'm treating his wives. Inshallah next we'll talk about some other ways to properly use some he showed love and respect to his wives in sha Allah, I ask Allah subhana wa Tala to make us amongst those who who treat their spouses and the correct way we ask Allah subhanaw taala to make us for amongst those who are the best immutable Alamy Zakum Allah Hi Assalamu alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh.

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swallow water he wants to label this NEMA

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