Khatira – The Lack of Respect & Character and its Future Consequences
Channel: Nadim Bashir
File Size: 11.98MB
So last week,
almost two Fridays ago we had read and then last week we did not have any hotdogs. And now this week, inshallah we're starting cauterize, and classes and everything. I really wanted to take this opportunity to honestly, first of all, really highlight a very serious issue that I saw in Ramadan. And throughout the year, you know, I get a lot of phone calls. Let me just to give you an example. On Saturday, I had eight appointments. I had eight phone appointments of them eight appointments, six of them were regarding family crisis.
Six of them were regarding family crisis. Of those six, four of them were regarding divorces. So the family in itself is a very serious issue in our community as it is. And the one thing that I saw consistently what I see all these you know, calls I get,
the one thing that I've seen consistently is that there is a serious lack of adopt a HELOC character. When husbands and wives they talk to each other, not just between spouses, but between parents and children and children or parents. And it always got me wondering where is this coming from? Who is teaching these parents to be this way? And Ramadan, then of course took place and I saw this firsthand exactly where this is coming from.
I saw children over here I saw youth, okay here. First of all men, there are many youth who came mashallah to the masjid. They did a fantastic job. They came, they prayed, they read Quran, they read the pm they attended, they did their job, what they came for, to the masjid for whatever the purpose of coming to the masjid, they took care of their responsibility. There were many youth also who did not come with that intention. Families left them here at the masjid, thinking that they will just be left there at the masjid. The measure will babysit them as if we have taken their responsibility. And then after that when they will cause mischief outside the Masjid. I saw
firsthand these kids coming inside the masjid they were brought inside the masjid. And they had absolutely no o'clock. No adult, no respect at all. So what we don't understand is this. And I'm sorry to be a little upset about this. But you know, we talk about that we have to talk about bigger, bigger aspects of Islam. Let's talk about this. Let's talk about that. And the problem is that when it comes to our fundamentals, we are suffering in our own fundamentals are fundamentals is our o'clock. Our fundamentals is our DOM, or fundamentals is character. These are things that we teach from day one to our kids. Unfortunately, we're not teaching this to our kids, and it has a
ripple effect till they become adults. Okay to become adults. And what we are also seeing what I'm seeing in the community is this. See, we have this mindset and fathers don't get offended when I say this. Okay?
Yes, you work hard to provide food for your family. Yes, you work hard to put it to provide a shelter over your family. Yes, you work hard to save money. Yes, you work hard to pay all the bills. But that's not only your responsibility. I have so many women who come to me and tell me that dads are disconnected from their kids. Why, under this explanation and this excuse that I provide financial resources to the family. I paid for everything. That's all my job is. Let me make this very clear.
When it comes to mothers, their job is to be a yes. Well, what they do is they take a baby, and they take that baby and provide enough tarbiyah till he becomes a boy for that boy to become a man that becomes a father's responsibility.
The only way he will become a man is if he looks at his own man.
But if the old man is a father does not have a clock himself, does not have character himself does not have any adult himself. What is going to teach his child
for him to become a man does the father responsibility if the father does not make him into a man? That's why then you have a lot of you know, I've seen youth and youngsters. They're 20 years old, but there's still a Bucha okay, there's still kids. You know why? Because the mother is the one who made them into a boy, but there's still a boy. Yes, they're 20 years old, but there's still a boy. They're not mature. Okay. They can make a decision in life. I call them spineless men, okay, they don't have they can do anything in life. So here's the issue that we need to first first of all work on we need to teach our kids o'clock and add up and out of every
You think first of all is comms how you talk to each other. We hear every single Juma football. Yeah. Are you hallelujah I'm gonna tabula we're Kulu Olin sadita Colin Sadie that basically means say a good word. It means say something that is positive. There's a lot of interpretations. But the Quran teaches us to say to be positive in the way we speak to each other. If Allah can tell if Allah is telling Musa alayhis salam, when you go to fit own, do not be harsh in your language not be harsh the way you speak to him for Kula Allahu Kolon lajunen. If this is Allah telling Musa to talk to a tyrant in this way, how do you think we talk to our children? How do you think we should talk to our
spouses at home? We're not doing that. So first of all, we have to teach our children that when someone is talking to you, you look at them and you talk to them. I saw here adults are talking to the youth. The adult is talking to the youth and youth is like this way. Oh, yeah.
No luck, no other.
He's looking this way the adult is talking to him. The Quran says, Well, look, a man was teaching his son, he taught him a very valuable advice. Wala Tusshar ever heard that Kelly, Nurse Wallah, time she fell all the Mara, do not turn your cheek away in contempt. Do not turn your cheek away when people are talking to you. Because it shows arrogance.
How many times I saw youth are walking away. Adults are talking to them. I've seen youth walking away here at the masjid while their parents are talking to them. That's also another form of Wallah to start in hudec. And in us what atoms you fill out the matter Hmm. So what we have to teach our kids first of all, when it comes to communication is that when someone is talking to you, you will look at them and you talk to them. Number two is you don't walk away while someone is talking to you. Simple as that. And the best way to handle that parents is that when your child when you're talking to your child, and you feel like your child is zoned out, because they don't like that
lecture, tell them to repeat everything that you just said. If they can repeat, give them that same lecture again.
Give it again, no problem, because they have not internalized anything that you have said to them. Yet they're not internalize anything at all that you have said to them, make them repeat everything that you just said. The second thing that we have to focus on, especially when it comes to our families is
the vulgarity issue.
There are so many youth who came here to the masjid. And I will see them outside right here right here. Just using vulgar language after vulgar language. I was outside. When I heard this and I got upset. I got upset. But you know, what was bothersome and all this is that we have become so dead inside. I saw there were so many other youth standing over here and they're watching the show. They're looking at him using vulgar language and they're just watching it. There's no sense of Brother, can you stop talking like this? No, nothing like that. They're watching a big show. They're all spectators. They're probably they enjoying themselves in some capacity. I got upset with that
person. That what kind of language is this? You want to use this kind of language? You can go somewhere else. But you don't use this language at the masjid. But then it got me thinking also the word do you think that these kids? Yes, I understand societies terrible. Yes, I understand society. They pick up these kinds of things from society. But let's not kid ourselves. Parent children are a reflection of their parents. When they see their parents using vulgar language, they will end up using vulgar language. That's just the reality. They see their parents using vulgar language, they will use our vulgar language when they see their parents being racist. Behind the scenes about this
race and that race. And this person, that person, they will grew up with racial tendencies, they will be racially insensitive towards others. When they see their parents lie about things, then they will lie also about other things. When they see their parents being respectful and disrespectful to whoever they want, then they will do the same thing also. And then what happens is that our kids are growing up in this way, because they watched their parents and what do you think that happens when they become married themselves. The same against cycle happens, then these same men are using vulgar language and we see also women using vulgar language and they are racially insensitive, and they are
disrespecting each other. And that's why divorce has happened. If people cannot talk to each other, if a husband and wife cannot talk to each other with dignity and respect, you don't want to is that person gets angry. He uses vulgar language that's wrong to begin with anyway. But I'm not talking about using vulgar, vulgar language in that context, the calls that I get
as husbands are calling their wives names, stepfathers are calling their stepkids names, step mothers are using vulgar language against their stepchildren. You know why this happens is because the tarbiyah was done this way. So if we want, I mean, once again, we have to go back to the basics. If there's one thing that I learned from this from avant, we have to go back to the basics. We don't have I'm sorry to say for the most part, we're lacking the basic things in our deen everything comes after where you're at either, you know, deep theological discussions, and why did this and why that all comes afterwards. A dub, for people respect for people, o'clock character, these are things are
more important. These are the things that we got to teach our children. And this is where we need to focus on because I'm telling you, once again, brothers and sisters, if you don't teach your kids this, and they grow up with these kinds of this kind of nature, and they grow up without a clock and Adam and so forth, there's no way they're going to show any kind of o'clock and adapt to their spouses and to their future children. So I ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to give us the ability to, to fix our character. And please, once again, while I'm talking about let's focus and teach our kids, it's not about one day, let me finish. Let me quickly mentioned this is about one day, I've had
parents. Oh, I told him I told her so many times. That's not That's not it. You have to tell them for a lifetime. Remind, remind, remind, that's the only way this poem is going to be fixed. Ask Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us the clock and the other that we have seen from Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam annual blood I mean, what is that Kamala Hey, Salam why are they gonna tell you about our cattle
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What's going on? I don't know hula.