GEM #06 2 Things You Have Zero Control Over

Nadim Bashir


Channel: Nadim Bashir


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Today's inshallah brief reminder is based on few conversations I had in this last one week. As you know, people call at times they need some help, they're facing challenges in their own life. And I remember I had to give the same advice to three different people. And I thought, you know, what probably might be the best thing to just talk about this inshallah. So first of all, I had a brother who came to me, and he was talking to me about his some of his issues that he's going through in his life. And I asked him that what solutions do you have in mind? Before I give you my solutions, before I suggest you some solutions? What solutions do you have in mind? So he says that, in my

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opinion, these are some of the solutions. So I say, you know, what, actually I was about to give you in suggests you that same solutions, so you're already on the right path, just apply these solutions, and inshallah everything should be taken care of. But he says, applying the solution is the problem. So I say you have a problem. You have the solution, but not the solution is the problem. I don't it doesn't make sense. So he says, I cannot apply the solution. I said, why can you not apply the solution? He said that I'm too worried about what people are going to say about me.

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I'm too worried where people are going to say what things they're going to think about me And subhanAllah I gave the same advice to one other youth who had called me during the week. And it brings me to this one verse of the Quran in particular, this is sort of Zuma Allah subhanho wa Taala he says Barbone wha hoo masala Raju Allah. Allah gives us the example of a man. Now though this idea of the Quran is strictly talking about those who commit schicke with Allah subhanho wa taala. But if you think about it on a deeper level, this idea has exactly to do with this. So Allah says in the Quran barraba Allah Who masala Raja and fee Shu raka water Sharkey, Sunnah wa Raju, LAN Solomon li

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Rajan, Halle esta we only masala Alhamdulillah, by AXA, to whom this is the eye of the Quran, what does it mean? It means that Allah subhanho wa Taala saying that think about it. If one man had to worship multiple gods, multiple deities, and please multiple deities, Does this makes more sense? Or does it make more sense that one man has to please and worship only one deity. And what that basically is saying that the ALMA have explained this, that if, as you see, in many cultures, or many other religions, they believe in multiple deities, they believe in multiple gods, imagine you try to please one God, and you make the other gods upset. And by the way, subhanAllah if you studied

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Greek mythology, I had to study Greek mythology in school. I remember reading about this, that even between the gods, there's a lot of conflict between the gods, that's what they preach that this there's a God for this. There's a god of the sea. You know, I think it's called Poseidon. And there's a see there is a God for this. There's a god for that. There's multiple gods and there's conflicts between the gods, this ayah is saying that imagine if there was a man who had to worship multiple deities, and there's conflicts between them, and they will get upset that he's worshiping one more than the other. Does this make more sense? Or does it make more sense that a person has to

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please and worship only when Allah Allah says hello yesterday Annie masala Alhamdulillah this this example is very clear for us we know exactly what it means you worship only one Allah subhana wa Tala Alhamdulillah Allah, all praises for Allah subhanho wa taala. But most people do not know. Now Subhanallah when you think about this problem that we have today, in our communities, and especially in many of our lives, many times we can do the right thing. Why? Because what people are gonna say, what people are gonna think about me, we have this machine, or do we have this common saying, the low cabling? Yeah, you know, what people are gonna say, and that is why I have if there is nothing

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you take today from this hot rod, just take two things from me today from this hotdog. If there's two things that you don't have any control over, just like you have no control over what people like, just like you have no control over Kedah, there's two things that you have no control over what people are going to say about you, and what people are gonna think of you Wallahi you have absolutely no control over it. This is the reality. This is the reality. The quicker we understand this, the quicker we can live in peace. Because many of us we will say what pleases other people. We will do what pleases other people, how many times you go and you see these big, big weddings. They

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spend 1000s and 1000s of

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dollars $200,000 $300,000. Why? Because they're trying to please others. They want others to think good about themselves. They want

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others who say good things about them. In essence, they are obsessed with other people's opinion. And subhanAllah I remember there was a very bizarre story that someone called me and told me one time. And the reason why they told me about the story is because they know that what I believe in, they know that I believe in the fact that you should not be worried about what people will think of you, and what people are going to say about you. You shouldn't be we shouldn't be worried about it. He called me to tell me this bizarre story, and it's gonna take, it's gonna be short. But you I mean, it's a very bizarre story. I'm gonna say this, because it is. So he told me that one time,

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there was a case where

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there was a case where a man in a family sort of invited another family into their home, and sorry, environment, into their family for all at their home. And that family who were the guests, he stayed at night at their home. And this was for a potential marriage purposes. So this family came, they flew in, they stayed at their home. And the idea was that perhaps the host, his daughter, and the guest, the guest, his son will then get married. Eventually, what happened was that there was something that happened last night, where there was an abuse that took place, okay, you get the idea, you get the picture. There was an abuse, there was an aggression that took place from the man

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towards the woman. And in the morning, when they woke up, this woman said, I don't want to get married to this man. I don't want to get married to this man. Because he is he's a rapist. And so what happened was the family, this man called me to tell me that usually, if he was any other family, they would have said that no, you have to get married, or you have to get married to him. Now think about asking a woman to marry her rapist, that that cost is psychological effect that she's going to have to live through that, that trauma, that torture she's going to have to live through for the rest of her life. And hamdulillah Al Hamdulillah, the parents, they said that it

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does not matter what anyone will say in the community. I don't care what anyone will say in the community. I don't care what people are gonna think of us. They broke off that engagement. You know, how many times engagements happen, things happen in the middle, we can break off the engagement, why can you not break off the engagement, the greeting cards, the invitation cards have already gone out. That is the excuse that we hear a lot of times. So that is why brothers and sisters there are five ways quickly I'm going to run through this there are five ways to handle this issue to begin with. If you and I if any one of us here we are obsessed with other people's feelings, other

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people's feelings, but other people's opinions and other people what they're gonna say about us. There's five ways to handle that. Number one,

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you cannot please people at all cost. There's no way you can Wallahi do whatever you can to please people, you can only please Allah subhana wa Tada and that is a reality.

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We today every single salah, think about this for a moment. This is very profound if you think about it very deep. You and I when we pray a lot, what do we say when the beginning at the beginning of the solid? We say what? Allahu Akbar, what does Allahu Akbar mean? Allahu Akbar means Allah is greater than and after is blank, it's empty. Meaning that Allah is greater than every single thing. Allah is more important than every single thing in our life. That's what it means. And by the way, I was I did a short count, if you just pray southern Fajr Vahagn acid Maghrib Aisha only the frog. If you don't do anything to be hot, you don't do any nowhere fill no sunnah. No nothing. You say Allahu

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Akbar. Ali is close to 95 times a day. Do you know that? You say Allahu Akbar 95 times a day. What is Allahu Akbar once again mean? It means that Allah has opinion means more than anything to me. Allah has happiness means more than anyone else's happiness. Allah's approval means more than anyone else's approval. Allah support means more than anyone else's support, and most in the most important thing, Allah's pleasure means more means the most to me more than anyone else's pleasure. That is what Allahu Akbar means. So when we live in a life when we are obsessed about other people, always remember that we have to please Allah subhanho wa Taala This is why you should have the Allah why

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now she says in a hadith this is only Timothy, it is a sahih Hadith the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says that whoever works hard strives, and I mean, I'm not giving exact Hadith, but in a nutshell, whoever strives to please Allah subhanho wa Taala while he may make some other peace

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People displeased with him. Allah subhanho wa Taala will be on his side, ALLAH SubhanA wa Taala will be sufficient for him. But anyone who does who deplete who displeases Allah subhanho wa Taala so that he can please other people, the people that he tried to please Allah will make them become displeased with him.

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This is a reality. The more we try to run after people, the more we're going to get, you know, the more we're going to be pushed away by people, this is the reality. So that is why first thing is that we always keep the pleasure of Allah subhanho wa Taala in front of us. Number two, always remember that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam also went through this, this is not this is not something new Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam people had opinions. About Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, people accused him people mocked him. People ridiculed him. People said things about him which are not even true, spreading misinformation about him, calling calling him a

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Kahin calling him a Sahaj calling him a Majnoon. There were people's opinions. But Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam always kept what pleases Allah subhanho wa Taala in front of him. So the fact that the prophesy was sort of went through this is a reminder for all of us, that if you have true faith, and you go through something like this, remember that my Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam also went through the same thing. Number three,

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look at the issue, whatever people are saying they may have an opinion about you just look at it briefly. If there is seriously an issue, then there's nothing wrong in fixing it. Yes, some people can come and provide their opinion. If I'm doing something that is wrong, that I need to correct it. There's nothing wrong with that. Number four, do not let other people's opinion, dictate how you behave, who's more stronger, are you stronger, or people's opinions more stronger. If people's opinions can drive you crazy. If people's opinions can alter your behavior, that means that you are a weak person, that means that their opinions are stronger than you are. So that is why you are the

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driver of your car, you are the driver of your life. You're the one who's controlling your life, you always we always should make sure that we don't let other people's opinions dictate how we behave. And finally, always remember, whatever people have said about you, whatever their people will think about you, they have to answer to Allah on the day of judgment about their dad or the Allah one. He was one time sitting around and some Sahaba or some some people. And so he began to say that there was a time he said that there was a time where people were like leaves. And there was no thorny branches. People were like leaves. Now what's more sharper, of course, a phony branches more

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sharper, these are soft. Basically, what he's saying is that there was a time where people were soft, and they were not trying to hurt each other. Then there came a time where those leaves had vanished. And there was only 20 branches mean that people were always trying to attack each other people always trying to harm each other. So at that time that his students, they asked him that, what do we do in that kind of situation? He says that if you criticize them, they will criticize you. But even if you leave them alone, they will still criticize you. Even if you don't do anything to them, they will still criticize you. And they will not even leave you alone. And at that time,

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he's asked once again and then what do we do that kind of situation? He said that let them take your name. He said that loaned them your reputation. This is what he said exactly. He says give them a loan, give them loan them your reputation for Allah subhanho wa Taala will give back your reputation on the Day of Judgment. People who attack your reputation, let them do it. Let them say whatever they want is done. Yeah, it's going to come to an end anyway. On the hereafter in sha Allah, they will be there will be full accountability. So once again, this is something that I'm once again reminding all of us here that how we need to handle our affairs. And as I said, if there's nothing

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you take from this, remember two things. There's two things that you cannot control. Like there's many other things you cannot control to things you cannot control people's opinions about you and what people are going to say about you. At the end of the day. We will always try to please Allah subhana wa Tada and ask ALLAH SubhanA wa to give us 250 Inshallah, what does that Kamala Harris said I'm only going to label cattle

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in metal Mussolini now almost Lima D one meaning Mina quantity now look on it. The more slowly Dino saw the bond, the one saw Dina was Slavia before she you know,

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will employ shearing force. The one downside btw now one downside the party was on

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Oh all me now was all in

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one have you Lena photo gentleman one half of what the was that good enough? Guess

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what the guilt or I don't

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want to jump on Eileen