Nadim Bashir – Fathers & Sons in the Quran #6 Disobedient Son of Nuh (AS)

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			Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato Bismillah Al Rahman Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen
wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah him Hamid Hua li are some big marine about Welcome to another
segment of fathers and sons in the Quran. Alhamdulillah so far we have been covering many stories in
the Quran, where we talk about dialogues and conversations that took place between fathers and sons.
Today inshallah I want to go into the 12 Jurors sort of Hood and there we find a very small
conversation that takes place but nonetheless, it is a since it is a conversation, inshallah I plan
on covering it today. And that is the story of Nora Alayhis Salam and his son, first of all, is that
		

			we know that no other he's out of all the messengers he was the very first messenger that was sent
by Allah subhanho wa taala. And without getting into a theological discussion that what is the
difference between a prophet and a messenger, a newbie and a Rasul? The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam he mentioned was in a hadith that the very first Nebby that was sent was adamite of Islam,
and the very first Rasul that was sent was no Alehissalaam. And so no, it is not one of the things
that we find out about his story is that we learn if there was one thing that we truly learn from
his story, he is about having this Tawakkol and Allah subhanho wa taala, putting your reliance on
		

			Allah subhanho wa taala. And not worrying about the consequences, but worrying about the mission and
worrying about the job. And subhanAllah when we talk about as fathers, sometimes we try to focus on
the results. We want our children to become a certain way, and hence we advise them in certain ways.
But one thing that we learned from these stories, especially from naughty you Salaam is that you do
what Allah subhanho wa Taala has ordered you to do, and we do what we in this case, in our case, we
do what Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam has taught us to do, and you leave the rest in the hands of
Allah subhanho wa Taala Allah Subhanallah when it came to the story of naughty Islam, and Allah
		

			subhanho wa taala, ordering him to build an ark and construct an ark. He never question Allah
subhanho wa Taala the why here? Why not there. In fact, we find that when he was building the ark,
there was no water in sight. Yet he put his trust in Allah subhana wa to Allah. And Allah ordered
him to do something. And he did it without even asking questions because he knows that all that he
is responsible for is to carry out the order of Allah subhanho wa Taala and this is something that
we learn in every single aspect of our life. In fact, we learned this from other Gambia also
remember the story of Musa you Salam when he came all the way to the sea and behind him with him is
		

			when he saw in but he saw you know are scared that they're going to be caught by phenomena in his
army. And they said yeah Musa in Jnana mudra Khun that today we're caught we put our trust in you
and looks like you're going to let us down. And Allah subhanho wa Taala he revealed to Musa alayhis
salam for Hina Isla Musa and the loop Yasaka al Bahar, fun Farah puffer canacona Philippine Kaito
Denali, Allah subhanho wa Taala ordered him Musala Islam to take his stuff and striking on the
water. Now Musa Assam did not question Allah, that will Allah this makes no sense taking a stick and
hitting on the water, we're good without do. But Allah subhanho wa Taala told him and the Gambia
		

			taught us that when Allah tells you to do something, you do it and you leave the rest in the hands
of Allah And subhanAllah he did, even though logically has no sense to it. But he did as Allah
commanded him to do. And Allah says that he dipped his part of the seas, and Musa Hassan was able to
cross and save himself and the people with him from from bunny saw it. So what we learned going back
to the story of neurotic Islam, we learned as fathers, there's only so much that we can do for our
children. And the rest we have to leave it in the hands of Allah subhanho wa Taala so let's talk
about when normally some built this ark, and everyone we know from the stories of the Quran, pair
		

			from each animal was brought onto the ship. And not only that, because there's you know, animals are
going to die in this process. Human beings are going to die the disbelievers are going to die in
this process. And then not only that, but then they come onto the ship. And you have three children,
three sons of Noah, Aileen Sam, they also they also embark on the ship, and then you have one of his
sons and as the ALMA they've got, you know, they have debated exactly what his name is, but that is
irrelevant for the for the story. And so he told his son
		

			He says when I dunno, Oliver know who? What kind of FEMA zielen he had separated himself as a means
to separate yourself. What kind of FEMA? Zinnen? Yeah, Bonilla. So even in this kind of situation,
no, how do you sum is looking at his destruction, his destruction is near, if he does not get onto
the ship, then he will be destroyed. And even in that kind of situation, no idea Sam never lost his
cool, he never lost his temper, he never lost his patience. And, you know, we learned as fathers
from this from this particular story, and from this particular point, is that even if you see your
children in danger, the best thing to do is to show them love, you know, subhanAllah one thing that
		

			today we find many times is that when children have done something wrong, and they come to their
parents, now, of course, children cannot expect that they'll just get like a slap on the wrist and
there'll be no consequences for everyone. There are consequences. But at the same time, the way
parents usually react at that time, you know, the yell in the scream and so forth. Think about new
ally Islam. He's looking at his son, his son can be swept away easily right now. But even in that
situation, he referred to him as a Yeah, Bonilla. Oh, my dear son, and he says it'll come minor wala
to Kemal caffine that come with us be with us. And do not be amongst those who reject the message of
		

			Allah subhanho wa taala. Now, he was a person who thought that he had everything's fought out. He
thought that you know, he, it seemed like he was a person who had already planned out everything.
And he says all so are we in a jevelin Y'all Simoni Myanmar, and the Allamah they say that at this
time the flood was in its initial stages. And we know what happened later on that even the mountains
were covered. This is how big and how great of a flood this was. At that time. The Mountains will
not cover it. Uh, he said, I'm going to climb onto the mountain. I'm going to save myself, y'all
Simoni Myanma and that time no it is I remind him my son lastly milliohm Amin umbrella he in llama
		

			Rahim. Only those who are who have the Mercy of Allah with them. If you do not have the Mercy of
Allah with you, you will be you will not be saved my son wahala being a human moje Farrakhan me a
Moroccan the Quran that says that then they were separated by a big wave. And then this person, the
son of naughty Islam, he was amongst those who lost her life. And so one thing that we learned from
all this is that actually, there's several things that we can learn from all this. And I wanted to
actually discover this because once again, the story is very, very small. There's not there's not so
much to see that is mentioned on this. However, as fathers, what can we learn from this? And there's
		

			few important points I want to share. Number one is that no matter how much we do, as I said
earlier, we are responsible for the work the results are in the hands of Allah subhanho wa Taala
when the Prophet son went to go and try to convert his own uncle Abu Talib, no matter how much he
supported us while Salah Salem, at the end when he did not convert to Islam, Allah subhanaw taala
reminded the Prophet in Nicola Hadith and above. When I can Allah hiya demon Yeshua, the only Allah
can give Hidayat to wherever he wants to, you cannot give you the I cannot give you there. No one
has Hidayat in their hands. And they cannot give you that to anyone. So first of all, is that what
		

			we learned is that as parents we do our best. And guidance is in the hands of Allah subhanho wa
taala. That's the very first thing. A lot of times what happens that we feel that I know how to do
this, we feel that I you know, as parents, I have done everything I need to do. And my son should be
my son should be a believer, Allah, my son should be pious, my son should be righteous, or my
daughter for that, for that matter. And the reality is that it's not always the case that how much
you even work upon them how much you you, you do for them. And no matter how much you invest into
them, at the end of the day guidance is only and only in the hands of Allah subhanho wa taala. The
		

			second thing that we learned from the story also is that, you know, we have in many families, you
see that you have many children, and every child is going to be different. We learn from the story
too, you have three children who believe in what they used to know, and they got onto the ship, and
you had one child that decided to separate himself from everyone else. So not all the 10 are gonna
be like too many cases we see that parents get frustrated very easily, that they are the same
parents yet they see the one child is very righteous. One child is not righteous, one child commit
sins. One child may not commit sins, one child is very much connected to Allah. One child is not so
		

			much kinder to Allah subhanho wa taala. What's important to understand is to show love, see once
again normally your son he's showing love to of course, his own sons. And not only that, but he's
showing his love to that son
		

			Who's also disobedient to Allah subhanho wa taala. So it's important for us to show love and
SubhanAllah. Many times parents, they ask us, what do we get out of this, if I keep on showing love
over and over again, and I keep on showing support, then what will happen, first of all, is that
once again, as I said earlier, we're not in charge of results, results only come from Allah subhanaw
taala. But what we have learned from the seed of the Prophet, what we have learned from the Quran is
that no matter how much your child may be disobedient, if you keep on showing them love, there will
come a time that they may need some help, they will be in a dire situation. And if you step up at
		

			that time, and you help them, putting aside the wrongs that they have done, once again, you're not
the one who's going to determine their fate, we as parents, we're not going to decide what their
punishment is going to be if they commit a sin that's between them and Allah subhanho wa taala. But
we need to show love to all of our kids, and show them equal love, and so that when you have those
who are righteous, Inshallah, they will remain righteous, and those who are perhaps not so
righteous, Inshallah, when they see the love from their parents, then hopefully they will turn their
life around, and inshallah they will come closer to Allah subhanho wa taala. Now, the next thing
		

			that we learn also is that something very similar to what I said earlier, that when it comes to give
me advice, you can only give advices, and you cannot force them to do anything. Now, I want to also
clarify this so that there's no misunderstandings, when the children are growing up, you can put
consequences on them, you can serve certain in a certain way, compel them to do something good. For
example, when it comes to salad is absolutely fine. If parents get upset with the children, when
they are not performing salad is absolutely fine. We're not talking about being physically abusive,
we're not talking about that. We're not talking about hitting them, we're talking about getting
		

			upset with them, admonishing them, you can put consequences in place also, for example, they might
not get an allowance, or perhaps they might be deprived of some other privileges inside the house,
that's absolutely fine. Because when they're growing up, you can put a certain amount of pressure on
them in order to build up their habit. And hopefully, Inshallah, this becomes their habit, this
becomes second nature to them, so that when they grow up, they cannot survive. Without it, it
becomes part of their nature, and their personality. But the one thing at the end of the day, we do
have to also understand is a once our kids grow up and become teenagers, their their philosophies
		

			will change, perhaps in some cases, their mindset will change, their way of doing things will
change, their friendship will change, their way of looking at the world will change. And not only
that, but even when it comes to life matters will also change in that particular situation. As a
father, the only thing that you can do, especially with your teenage children is you can advise
them, you can show them love, but you cannot compel anything upon them. And to your Subhanallah we
see also in stories in the Muslim community, that the fathers they will say that if you don't want
to follow my rules, you're kicked out of the house, think about this. I mean, really think about
		

			this, if this is what you're going to do to your child, and your child sees that you call yourself a
religious man and religious father, then what kind of really I mean? Well, they're going to be
leaving with what religion in mind, they're going to be leaving with less respect in their heart,
for Islam, and for Muslims and for the Quran. And for the Sunnah. And whatever you represent as a
father. That's why it's important that we just don't sit there become irrational in our decisions,
and we lose our cool and we lose our composure, we say just, you know, you're out of here. You don't
deserve to be in my house. That's not the right way. Once again, what they do in their life is their
		

			responsibility, or it's on them. And that's what we need to teach them that as parents, I'm not
responsible. And one thing that we also find another thing that we learned from this is that if you
ask most parents, why are they so upset when their children are committing haram? Why is that their?
Why? Why is it that they get so angry when they see their children doing something wrong. And in
most cases, what's sad is that they're not getting upset, because it is the order of Allah that they
are violating, is usually the reason is that it's their reputation in the society. When people see
that this is the child or this child is the son or the daughter of such and such person such as such
		

			mother and father, everyone becomes judgmental towards them. So two things we have to understand
here, first of all, is that if you are a parent, your job is to advise your children. Your job is to
teach them well. Growing up teach them well. And when they get to a certain point in their life, you
can only advise them and give them an A C ha. But you cannot force them to do anything. And whatever
path they choose in their life that's on them. But as a parent first of all is realize that this is
not a reflection of your parenting.
		

			Most people will feel like that if my kids go astray, then what will happen is that this is a
reflection of my of my poor parenting Subhanallah today how many cases we find that children parents
are they, you know, they get really scared. Parents get really concerned, especially when they come
across their children. Sometimes the children will turn around and they say that, you know, I have
some, like, for example, they'll say I have some, you know, friends who have a tendency of
homosexuality, for example. And I think that I may be leaning in that direction, you know,
subhanAllah parents, they get really scared that kind of situation. What are we going to do in that
		

			kind of situation? What is the society going to say about me in my parenting? First of all, remember
that what a child does in their life, what your child does is not a reflection of your parenting.
Because we find even the story of New Orleans, Suriname, his own son, he was a prophet of Allah, he
is a very first message in Messenger to be sent yet his own son, one of his own sons did not display
he did he did disbelief. Is that a sign that no Ellingson was on a good father, Yahoo, Baliga
synonyms, several of his children they plotted a plan against use of Arica Salaam is that a
reflection of poor parenting? Are we going to sit there and say Your son was a good father. So once
		

			again, a father can only do so much but once the kids grow up, then it's on them. And so this is
something that as a parent, if this ever happens to you, do not really hold yourself and do not get
angry at yourself, and do not feel that you are a failure in life. Now, as far as the community is
concerned, and I want you to listen very carefully. We are not in a position to judge anyone and to
judge anyone else's parenting skills. We should be worried about our own family, we should be
worried about our own children. And I'm not here Allah has not made me responsible to look after in
judge everyone else. allays Allahu
		

			Allah is the one who judges I'm not the one who can sit here and judge and say that this person, his
father, and because of their parenting, their poor parenting skills, this is why their children are
this way. And even let's just say, even if it was poor parenting, even if it was poor parenting,
that's not a place for me, you for me, or for you to say anything. Why? Because when we are so
critical, perhaps Allah made May Allah protect us. But may Allah I mean, Allah could put us in that
same kind of situation. May Allah never put us in that kind of situation, may Allah protect our
children, I mean, bla bla bla mean, but the point I'm trying to make is that whether you are a
		

			parent and your children may have gone astray, or they may have gone off track, how are you supposed
to understand this situation? What are you supposed to do with this kind of situation, but number
two is as a community, how do you react in that kind of situation, instead of sitting there and
passing judgments, try to help the family step in try to build a relationship, if your kids are at
the same age as those children try to explain your kids and especially if they are righteous,
mashallah then you can tell them to build a connection, build a friendship, and slowly and gradually
you can make a change in their life change also, it takes time to take place, you cannot expect that
		

			they will become friends and they will change right away. No, for the process of change, also take
some time. So, so once again, as a community in as a parent, this is how we should understand this
situation. And finally, Allah subhanho wa Taala also tells us that our kids were perhaps sometimes
have their own plan. Here we find the story of naughty salaam, his son is saying, I will go on to
the mountain, the father knows very well, that this is a foolish idea. So many times when our kids
even they may be disobedient, for example. And they will say that I have life sorted out and I will
do this and I will do that and so forth. First of all, just like no other your son, he reminded his
		

			son, they you may have your own plans, but Allah has also his plans. You have a plan to go onto the
mountain and save yourself. But Allah subhanho wa Taala only he gets to decide who will be saved
today and who will be amongst those who will be who are drowned. So that's why it's very important
that even when our kids sit there, and they they seem like they have they have fallen out, and they
have planned it all out very well in their own mind, we should constantly remind them that to end
the day, you may have a plan, but Allah subhanho wa Taala is the one who's the ultimate planner, and
you may think that you will conquer the entire world, but Allah subhanaw taala will decide how
		

			effective you are in your life. So this is something as a father, that's all that we can do in that
kind of situation that remind them that this is that you think that you have a plan. But Allah
subhanho wa Taala is the one who is the best of all planners. So in shallow. Having said this, we'll
go ahead and finish right here in Charlotte today. Once again, these are stories from the Quran that
talks about conversations between the took place between fathers and sons. And I ask Allah subhanho
wa Taala that besides any of these kinds of ads
		

			vices any other advices that we have seen from this series when it comes to parenting? As fathers
when giving our advice when giving advices to our son, we ask Allah subhanaw taala to give all of us
ability to implement every beautiful lesson that we have learned in this series amicable, Allah mean
exactly Malachite As salam Wa alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh.
		

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