Nadim Bashir – Etiquettes #02 Manners Of Entering Someones House

Nadim Bashir
AI: Summary © The importance of privacy and privacy in homes is discussed, including the need for parents to teach children proper etiquette and not allow children to sit alone in the rooms. The speaker emphasizes the need for parents to adapt to shores and not let children sit alone. Additionally, the importance of avoiding spreading "any thing" around is emphasized.
AI: Transcript ©
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Today, the manners and etiquettes we'll be talking about today inshallah as a reminder for all of us is going and entering into someone else's house. The very first thing is that today inshallah I'm going to share a few things with you. Number one is that we learn from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and we learn from the Quran, that when you enter into someone's house, there are two things you must do. Allah subhana wa Tada and the Quran says, Yeah, you are Latina and Manu later the Hulu boo you will turn away Rabu ut come hotter. Two things to Stephanie Su, seek permission, what to suddenly move number two, so you must seek permission and then make Salam now, in the time

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of the Prophet sal Allahu Allah He was send them this is Fatima aka the Prophet Allah is some is in Makkah, and we all know that even though Mecca was conquered, he still went back to Medina and he resided in Medina till the end days of his life. And we find that there was a man who sent one of his hard limbs is one of his servants. There was a person by the name of someone even Omiya he sent some milk and some food for Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, this man perhaps he was not aware he was on it properly educated. He came inside the house of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa salam or the place where he was saying, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said it'll Gere go

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back. And then he says fuck oil As salam o alaikum as a whole. And you must say, A salaam Ali Khan, at Holtec Can I enter? So this is Ross was telling this man, go back to the door, say a Salam aleykum and then you enter into the house. Now in addition to that, we also find that there was another story about a man who came to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and he wanted to come inside the house of the Prophet how to use Saddam, there was a person there with the Prophet of Islam, the Prophet said that men said that go and teach this man some etiquettes. So you see that if the prophet Allah is some saw, that someone was not observing etiquettes the Prophet alayhi salam

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said, Go and teach this man some etiquettes and that what he should do, he should first say a Salam aleykum and then take permission, and then he can enter. So in the Quran, so we see that there are two Hadith. In both Hadith we find something very consistent. The Prophet alayhi salam is teaching us say a salam Wa alaykum, then you ask permission to enter. However, in the Quran, when Allah says the I recited to you earlier, he says had that destiny. So what to study him, it's reversed, first seek permission. And then Allah mentioned seeking permission first, and then making salaam so there are so many people have asked this question, how do you reconcile between the two, the ALMA have

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said that in this idea of the Quran, it is not a sequence because in the Arabic language, if you're taught, if you're trying to talk about a sequence of events, that you're then you use the word Thumma Had Allah said had that istinye su Thumma to sell Lemo then that will be Allah saying, you must first seek permission, then you say a Salam aleykum that's not what Allah is saying here. He's using the word Wow. Which means and mean that you can do either one of the two. So the Allamah they say that if you want to be closest to the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, then you first say a Salam aleykum, then you seek permission. Now, how do we understand these things in

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this day and age? First thing I will say is this. When it comes to our kids, we need to teach them when you enter the house. You don't say hey, I'm here, okay? Many of our kids, they do that kind of stuff. You say a Salam Alikum when you enter the house, say assalamu Alikum. But here's what's more and more important about this hadith, the fact that the Prophet alayhi salam sent a grown man, think about that for a moment, he sent an adult back to the door and said, Go back, say a Salam aleykum and then take permission shows us that when our kids don't do these kinds of things, it is perfectly fine. In fact, it is endorsed by Roswell, Salem, encouraged by the province of somebody's we can see

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he did this in the case of an adult, we should send our kids back to the door and say when you enter, say a Salam Alikum now, you know, our kids, you know, they don't want to do this, you know, they they don't like anything. Okay, well, come on next time. No, no, no, no. Go back to the door. And turn to the door. Say a Salam Alikum Oh, come on. Next up. No, no, do it. Now. You're saying the fact that the Prophet Saddam did it. And he told his grown man once again, there's nothing wrong and pushing your children because see, here's one thing we need to teach our children. We got to keep on reminding them keep on hammering, get on them yards and till it becomes part of their DNA

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until it becomes part of who they are their nature. So when they come inside the house, say a Salam aleykum this is something very important. Now in this day and

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Ah, we all you know many of us we have these you know, these ring doorbells. Okay. Okay, we're giving myself so much business to ring. Okay. So what happens is that when you when you push that button, okay? And someone says, you know who is it? Or you know many of our doors we have those in many of our doors, we have the small windows, right? You open that small window, you see who it is, the first thing we should teach always our children is and so saying, This is who I am I say a Salam Alikum because, honestly, when someone comes to the door, imagine you have come to the door, you have no idea who it is, it's at night. But if someone says on the other side, as salam aleikum

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automatically told me Don't you feel comfortable? Yes or no, it makes anyone uncomfortable, right? So that's why the teachings of the prophets of salaam are extremely effective. So that is why the very first thing is when it comes to going someone's house, always make Salam. All in all cases. And once again, I will say this, if the kids come inside the house without making some send them back, and then make them say salam number two.

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It is also recorded from the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam that one time a man came and he was standing right in front the door of the province of Salaam. Now, even many of our kids, they will, they will knock on the door, and they'll just stand right there in front the door. Okay, and you open the door and they're standing right there. Okay, now even a little from the door, they're like, Okay, so the thing is that what you need, what we need to do is from the lock from the door that we learn from the profit making some because the profit it is some taught this young man who was doing this, that step away from the door instead, either on the right side or the left side. Okay? This is

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something that we got to teach our children because many times, our youth and our children when they don't understand these kind of things, once again, it's not really their fault. They're just all times they're not simply educated about these kinds of matters. So when you go to someone's house, you knock on the door, you take a few steps back, you stand on the right side or the left side, and stand in a place on the side the door open. So if someone has opened the door, they don't have to look in the opposite direction. If you're opening the door, you open the door and you look out you can see that person right away. Unison don't sit on the opposite direction, but stand on the side

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where the person opens the door, he can see you right away. This is something else we learned from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. Number three,

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peeping into other people's homes. This is something that's very common, okay? Someone opens the door. And I'm going to share with you a story and I'm not making the story up. But, you know, you find people who are like this Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was very, very big on people's privacy. He always made sure that people respect other people's privacy, Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Now I'm not encouraging this, okay? The problematic is somebody's making a statement over here that if someone looks into your house, and you gouge their eye, there is no sin on him. That's what the property is. I'm saying he's trying to get a point across, that this person

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has committed such a crime that he's trying to, you know, he's trying to violate your privacy. Now, I remember one time I opened the door and there was a person. And I've opened the door just a little. Okay. Now whatever reason it is, a lot of times people don't like to open the entire door. Some people may open the entire door, but haven't become okay. No problem, you know, but some people like to open the door a little. And I remember there was a person that came to my house and he's and they're trying to, like, open the door. They're trying to push the door, okay? You can't be pushing someone's door. Okay. So and especially happens, let me be very, let me be very blunt about this,

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especially, especially when you go to someone's house and they bought a new house, okay? Or I want to get inside the house. It's an itch, okay, I want to go inside that house and they trying to, you know, you come somewhere, bring some, you know, Muy Thai, okay. And you bring it to their house, and then, you know, you know, trying to look inside the house. No, it's against the adab. And we got it, we got to understand the See, as adults, we are doing these kinds of things. If we're doing these kinds of things, our kids, eventually they will do these kinds of things. So we're respecting people's privacy. And that, you know, by the way, when you talk about people's privacy, on a site on

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a sidenote here, this also includes people's personal lives. I mean, there are some people Subhanallah they just have this need, and this desire to know about everything's another person's personal life. Mind your own business, I actually give I give a talk about this before to learning how to mind your own business. So this is something that we have to do in our homes. And I will say part of this same topic or the same point is, if you go to someone's house, and you don't get invited inside the house, let's just say you need something for someone, they come outside and they talk to you. Most people might say Come inside, but it's very possible that their house is probably

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a mess. They don't like to show their house is probably a mess going on. Something's going on inside the house.

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US, but you find a lot of people to get offended by these kinds of things. Why do you not comment inside his house, you know, and they get offended by these kinds of things. They tell other people about it. You need to we all need to learn how to respect people's privacy. If I go to someone's house and they don't invite me inside their house, hello, this is not a big deal. You know, learn how to have a bigger heart, learn how to respect their privacy and move on. Number four, the province that Allahu alayhi wa sallam he, he mentioned it us that I had to come to Latin from Uganda who fully answered of the Pavarotti isms teaching us that when you go to someone's house, and you

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are seeking permission to enter, then do it three times. And in three times if you don't get a response, then returned back now you know some people that go there to someone's house, they might ring the doorbell now by the way, there is a story that we find in the books that ominous photography Allah on one time he invited a man by the name of Abdullah even a face and Abdullah had been a face came to the house of Omaha Pablo, the hola Juan. And once again, you're talking about that time now in this day and age at that time. So he called out the name of Omaha the Allah one on one in hip hop did not hear Him. He he said it three times he sought permission three times based on

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the Hadith of the Prophet alayhi salam, and then he left. And on top of the Allahu anhu, he was informed that Abdullah in the face came to your home and he left. He says I was waiting for him. So he went after Abdullah pays for the Allahu ion. And he then said that why did you not you know, why did you not call me he says I came to your home to seek permission three times I did exactly what the Prophet he is some did and I left. So with your alma they say based on that story, because you are one of the hubbub now the Allahu on did not hear or believe in the face inside. So what we learn from the story is that you must seek permission in a way that they are informed inside. In our day

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and age, that problem has been resolved, okay? You have a doorbell they can, they can easily hear it. And you say you push the doorbell three times, and you ring three times. And if you if even if there are there, you know, there are people who say, Oh, I know they're still inside. Who cares are inside, okay? You're not supposed to be standing there. And you don't you know, subhanAllah just part of the etiquettes like ding ding ding ding, ding, ding, okay. No, you push it once, and you wait for a while, have some server, okay. And then you push it again after probably a few seconds or several seconds. And then you wait again. And then the third time and even an even if you can hear

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them inside. Still you walk away Simple as that. Now, unless they are expecting you, they have told you that I'm waiting for you on my home. They probably are preoccupied with something they know you're coming then you can probably bring it you know, few more times. But otherwise, three times. And please, you know, this is something we gotta teach our children. I want to I remember one time some someone came to my home.

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Oh my god, he was annoying. Okay, so please, we this is something that we have to have to teach. The next thing is that when we respond, like if someone is at the door, and someone says Who is it? So there was a man who came to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, Jabulani Allah and said that I came to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and he says that

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he said, there probably is some says, Who is it? And Jabra said, Anna. Now who is Ana? Okay? He said, Me know who's me yours and so so the Prophet it is said I'm in a sarcastic way. He said, I know. Okay. Like he said, Anna, he goes, and Anna, you know, so they're probably you somebody's teaching him. You don't say you don't say Ana, because that does not clarify to the person inside the house. Who exactly is are you talking about here? So that is why even when you go to someone's house, you always even if you ring the doorbell and they respond to you through the ring, that Who is it, you say A salaam alaikum this is who such and such person mentioned your name, and you

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clarify it. Now if you say if you give a name or you say something even in the case of Xena there was a woman who came to prophesy salaam Her name was Xena, but also but the Prophet alayhi salam he knew how many signups right. His daughter's name is Xena. And then the he had a wife named Zane up and there are so many other names inside the community. So if there is a name that you have, and the person may not be expecting you, you have to make it very clear. That's why there probably is some says a user signup, which is enough, are you You understand? So you make you make that very, very clear. you clarify that.

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The next thing and number six is I said this earlier, that if you are given permission, you enter into the house, if you're not given permission, you can leave now something that we have seen with many people, especially when they go to the homes, you know, we see this overseas often they go to the homes of the Sheoak and so forth. And the one thing that we have seen even in the case

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Civilis allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, there were Bedouin men who came to the house of the Prophet Allah you sit down while the prophet was busy with his family. So what happened was that ALLAH SubhanA wa Tada said that instead of you, disturbing Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, if you were to stand outside and be patient hut, Raja la hem Locanda heilala home, till the property is on comes out in addresses your need, that is better for you. So that is why we find many, many automa they would out of respect for their teachers, they will sometimes sit outside the door of their teachers, and just wait for them, not bother them, not harass them just sit outside and wait

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for the teachers out of and respect. This is fine. However, however, if the person says that don't send outside my house, I don't like you sending outside my house, I will meet you some other time. You have to honor their you have to honor their requests. So it is fine. If you are waiting and you're not harassing anyone and so forth. But at the same time, if you are being asked to leave then you should, you should leave. Number seven this is a big one. Allah subhanho wa Taala in the Quran, he says for Ilam tecido fee I hadn't forgotten the Holo hotter than Allah calm. Allah subhanaw taala says if you find a place and there is no one in it, do not enter that house. Now let me give you a

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very practical example. You know, around here this Masjid when many of these homes were being built, these are private land, right? Yes or No, these are all private land. As some people would buy the land and their purchase the purchase the land, they're building the house on it, this house, this land belongs to who it belongs to them. Okay? While the houses are being built over here, there are many people there were just going into the homes while the houses are being built. Okay. Now, let me just say this very clear. It's a little different. When you go to like a subdivision where you have a huge company that is building a home, you understand, now they're building all these homes, some

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some of the Lord say sold, some say, you know, open and so forth. But the company that is building the contractor or the the the company itself, they have no problem with people entering into their home, and just checking out their floor plans, we see this often. There's nothing wrong with that. However, if you know that this land belongs to someone in particular, and they're building a house on top of that, in particular, then in that situation, you're not allowed to enter into their house, you're not allowed to enter their house, yet we find a lot of people still going into their homes, and just searching and you know, and checking it out and so forth. This is something that is not

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allowed in under any circumstances. Once again, if the company has made it public, that you can enter into the homes and so forth. We see this a lot of times, no problem. But if it actually if it's private land, and it's a private house, you cannot enter the house, even if it's under construction. The last thing I will share with you today inshallah regarding this matter is

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it's very important that we teach our kids also the importance of seeking permission. So Allah subhanho wa Taala even though this is inside the house, not coming into someone's house, but we're talking about permission and seeking permission. So I do have to cover this. Allah says in the Quran, yeah, you're Latina, Amendola. Yes, then Kamala Rena Malika, a man who come, well Levine Allah Mia Bula. We'll call him Amin, comme cela Murat. Many of these subtle Fajr so there are three times a day that the children should be taught that they should seek permission before they enter into a room what time I'm going to publish Alton Fajr as it before the time of Fajr number two is

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what Hina told our owner Theva coming up Mahira there was a time in the afternoon where people were wanting to be very comfortable. So sometimes they were a little less clothing. So at that time, also they should be seeking permission. And number three is when we embody slaughtered Orisha after South Asia. Then Allah subhanho wa Taala says what about those children when they grow up? Allah says well Lavina la mia bella autofire lumen como la Aluma even if they have grown up and now they have some kind of short route and they have some kind of understanding, even in that situation fell yesterday fall yesterday, fall yesterday, you know, come on, then a Latina man probably him even in that

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situation, they must take permission before they enter Now it's very important that we teach our kids these kinds of things. Even if you want to enter the room, you knock on the door and the same thing, knock three times. And the parents may be in the father may be inside alone. The mother may be sited inside alone, but you you knock three times and then you walk away. Not only that, but we find today in many cases, we find children who think they're so smart they will put their nails inside the yoga blocks and they will open it and just come inside you know and they have this big smile on their face like mashallah, do they broke a safe or something. Okay, so what happens is that

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we gotta teach our children that this is incorrect. I remember when I was a kid

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Even if we saw a door open, and I'm sure many of you will resonate with this, when we saw even a door open, you just don't walk into a room, you go by you go to the door and you do like this.

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Right? You knock on the door, make them aware that this is can I come in or not? But our kids Subhanallah there's like, you know, Gurkha, baka, gotta, you know, just walk inside anywhere they want, you know, so it doesn't work like that. We have to teach our kids proper etiquette to proper adapt. Now lasting part of this is even we find in our deen, that when it comes to people living in our homes, who are considered our moms, even in their case, we must seek permission also. So if we have our mother living with us, okay, she's a Muharram. She has her privacy and so forth, we need to give her privacy but that also means knocking on the door, if we have our sister living with us,

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okay, respecting their privacy also, okay. Now, when I usually when I bring this up, you find a lot of girls were like, okay, then I can tell my dad not to walk into my room. Okay? And, and when it comes to boys and girls, since tarbiyah is the responsibility of the father and the mother, okay? The parents can create some rules to respect the privacy. But often, children and youth want privacy in their rooms when they have the shaytaan. Okay, or they have a computer shaytaan number two, okay, or he has something else in their room. That's why I've always been an advocate of this, okay. Do not let your children sit with a gadget alone in the room. See, you know, I told this to a kid a

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tall one time, he was like, Oh, you think I'm so bad? I said, No, no, I don't think you're bad shape on his bed. You're saying I'm not putting it on him or her? I'm saying that. Because you can be influenced by shaytaan. If others who have been who have whose emotions whose Iman level is so high, if they came in be influenced by shaytaan. You're nothing and so a lot of times children say like what, you know, children are very smart. Well, you don't trust me. Okay, you know, this is a very typical response. So you don't trust me? No, no, I trust you. I don't trust shaytaan. You understand? That's why I don't trust okay. So that is why I'm always this is my principle, I don't

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you don't let your kids sit with a gadget inside the room, we'll see how long they can stay in the room after that. Okay. But after that, since the parents are responsible with therapy of their children, they should have this understanding that you cannot keep the door closed at all times. As a parent, I'm responsible for therapy. I gotta make sure that you're not involved in anything that is wrong. And after you become an adult and you can you move out of the house and you can have your own life. But while you're living under my roof, you are under my responsibility. So it's not like where parents can just barge in anytime but at the same time you have to respect you might have

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older sons older daughters, if they're changing their clothes anything of that type try to have somewhat of an understanding but they should also understand that if they have this mindset that my room is off limits my parents can never enter my room without my permission, no, it doesn't work like that either. So these are inshallah many things. You can always come back inshallah and this will be uploaded inshallah soon, but you can come back and listen to these inshallah. And next we will be talking about even when you go to someone's house when you go to someone's house as a guest, okay, as a guest. What things you have to keep in mind, okay, like especially when people go to

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someone's guest house and he's he's a male Oh,

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you know, so the thing is that those kinds of things you cannot Okay, so one just want to make that very clear but there was one more question

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I've already mentioned that

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yeah, so I mentioned that and so most importantly as I say, there's my saying that don't spread things about if you see even something in someone's house or stuff that Allah Okay, no, you don't go around telling people in the community and things of that type. Let's inshallah let's maintain these either these these points of adapt and make sure we teach our children inshallah these important things also Dr. Malachite said I'm already gonna play but I'll catch him

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in LA Mussolini now almost Lima T one meaning Mina team on et now look on it that the more slowly been our slaw, the bond the one saw DT now no Slavia at all do you want to follow Sherry You know

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what unfortunately no one was watching it one downside the Lena one downside the party was on me now was all in.

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One heavy Lena foldable gentleman wasn't happy a lot the one that

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what's going on I don't know hula

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