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Quranic verses that change your life #08 Understanding Gender Interaction

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Musleh Khan

Channel: Musleh Khan

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Salam alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh at hamdu Lillah wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah. So today it's verse 24, and 25 of suta, total costless, and it's all about gender interactions. This is one of two places in the entire core. And that's very explicit about the subject. And gender interaction is a subject that we talk about in different ways across the globe, a lot of it has to do with culture, heritage, tradition, habits, just the things that you're accustomed to in terms of interacting with the opposite gender. And so we're going to see today and shout low Tyler in the corner, and just how the Quran addresses the subject. First thing is that talking to the opposite

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gender is not hot, um, unless you're talking to the opposite gender, about things that are held on or withheld on intentions. In Arabic, we call this fitness. So if you have fitness in your heart, in your mind, etc. And those are the things that are motivating, those are the things that are pushing you to talk conversate and socialize with the opposite gender, then those are the things that Islam prohibits. Why, because it's an open door to other things, it could lead to other things, and it becomes distracting. And that's the thing that you don't want at the end of the day, is that you want to be able to focus on the people that are highlighted for you. You want to be able to focus on

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what's correct and at least have the bare minimum following the instructions of the Quran and Sunnah. And the reason why I say it this way is always remember, our Prophet, either his Salatu was Salam spoke to women or spoke to the opposite gender all the time. There were instances where some of the women would come in and really, really in front of his face and ask him some of the most personal and private questions. And guess what he would do? His salatu salam, he would answer them, he wouldn't say, okay, stand behind that wall stand behind that curtain. Okay, you can speak to me this way. send a note to me send a messenger. He didn't do any of that. If they came up to him, and

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they asked them something, he would answer it if they came up to him. And they said, said Mr. la comida sobre la, there were instances where and this is narrated in the soudan of Abbe de I would imagine pretty much most of the Hadeeth books is that sometimes women would be sitting in a circle, and they would just have their own conversations doing their own thing. And they would see the Prophet alayhi salaatu wa Salaam walking by from a distance. And they would actually say, said Mr. Lee come to him. And the Prophet alayhi salatu was Salam would wave back and respond, why they cannot sell them to them. He wouldn't say, Oh my god, this is just not modesty. Where's the

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humility, blah, blah, blah, none of those things that we say, to the opposite gender, if they were to do something similar, so it's really important to separate between what religion allows and what culturally people do and are accustomed to. Now with that being said, coming to today's verses, there are actually two of them. 24 and 25. pseudo puzzles, Allah highlights an incident that happened with Musa alayhis salam when he reached the waters of the city of Midian. Now he's about to go there. And for obvious reasons, right? He's going to go and maybe shower, take a drink or what have you. But it seems like this area where people are collecting water, it's a well known area. So

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as he got there, Allah subhanho wa Taala mentions wotja mata Minh and Nessie yes spoon that he found that there was a group of shepherds that were taking care of and watering their flocks of sheeps and their animals. So they had a herd of animals there, and they would come and quench their thirst and clean them up and what have you, right? And then musala, his solemn notice that as he's watching all of these shepherds, taking care of their animals, he looks to a corner. Well, what does that mean? Do we need him Memorial attaining a zoo done? So he watched and he saw that there were some women, two of them in particular, that were standing in a corner with their own flocks of animals, and

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sheeps, and so on. So the mozzarella is Salim. Here's the first lesson here, when it comes to gender interaction. He actually notices he visually looks and he sees that there are two women there. Now how is he looking? He's not looking with any other reason, except maybe it's what's going on over there something wrong. So he immediately acknowledges or realizes, wait a minute, maybe they need some help or something. What are they doing there with their animals and everybody else is here scrambling and trying to get water. So he goes up to them. And he asks them Mahatma Bachmann so he says for so. Excuse me, Allah subhanaw taala tells us and watch it. I mean, doing him over my

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attorney tells Sudan Paula Malhotra buku man, he says to them, and ask them what's wrong Is everything okay? So here's the second lesson. He talks to them. He goes up to them. Is everything okay? Can I offer you some help? Are you guys okay? And do you need anything Is something wrong? So

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Here's the lesson helping people, their gender has nothing to do with it, period. This shouldn't even be a conversation. But unfortunately, like I visited countries, where if you saw somebody of the opposite gender gets stuck or or or something happened to them, like, for instance, one time I saw a lady whose dress her her abhaya got stuck in an escalator. And people and the escalator stopped Alhamdulillah right, it just stopped. So she wasn't in really any she wasn't in any real danger. But the point is, she was stuck there and she's trying to pull her by, out from the escalator and she put in and everybody just kept walking by kept walking by and they felt like they

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could offer her any help touch anything, nothing just inshallah, inshallah you'll get out of it. Myself and two of my friends were coming to the same escalator. So we noticed a woman is stuck there. And it was an elderly woman as well. So we asked her in Arabic, we asked her, you know, if you need any help, and she says, you know, well asabe you know, she's like, it's kinda like, it's really hard for me to pull this thing out. So I we asked her, would you allow us to help you and we can pull it out for you? And she says, of course, of course. And she started praying for us and making to offer us and she's like, may Allah bless you. Bless you, bless you. So we literally yanked

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her dress out. Thankfully, we didn't rip anything, but we yanked it out. It was a little wrinkled and dirty. But she was so grateful that we helped her. Now listen to what Musa alayhis salaam does here. The women responded to him, these two women and says Paula to learn SP hat, use their Adria, buena Shea home caviar, we can't go and quench the thirst and the needs of our animals until they meaning the other group that's there by their by the lake until they move until they give us an opportunity. And our father is an elderly, old and weak, frail men. Why did they say this to him? Basically, this is why they're standing there. Like they have to get water because the father can do

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it. So it looked like what happened is these women or the men didn't want to mixed with one another. You know, that whole idea and subject of segregation and mixing and so on. We're going to come to that a little bit later, because it's a separate subject that has some exceptions and rules and a lot of physics behind it. So we're not going to do that right now. What I want everybody to pay attention to is the fact that you have two women standing in one corner, and everybody else is standing in another. The area doesn't say that everybody else who's there are also women there. So it is possible that there are other women there but these two in particular decided that they were

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going to wait to in a corner and Musa alayhis salaam sees that and goes up to them and he asks them if everything is okay. They explained to him, what's the problem? Look what Musa alayhis salam does and this is in verse number 25, the next verse, fess up call Allahumma fullmetal Allah, Allah,

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Allah subhanho wa Taala says

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musala his solemn help these women, so he basically went fill their bags of water, make sure that they that they had enough, help them out with that situation. And then he turned to Allah Thoma tala Eli Lilly for kohlrabi. He went to a shade somewhere and he started making dua. Now, let's just pause for a second and understand what is happening here. You know, you help somebody, then all of a sudden you turn around and you make dua. That sounds a bit strange. It sounds odd, like I mean, we don't even really do Dora in that particular way, either. So So what really happened? Let's keep reading. He makes a door to Allah subhanho wa Taala for Carlota BB in neelima and Zelt, la yemin.

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Higher in Philippines. He assessed to Allah subhanho wa Taala Oh my master, I am in need of whatever you send down to me that is good for this poor, needy soul of yours. Whatever you feel is good for me. I am in need of that. In other words, what Musashi his Salaam is saying to Allah, you created an opportunity for me to help somebody and the edger and the reward is the reason why I do it. And you win. When you create these moments for me in my life. I am grateful. And I want you to know Oh Allah, that I am in need of more of these moments more of these opportunities so that I could do more good. I am but a poor soul that is in need of every opportunity to do righteousness. You know

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the ending of this verse. I'm going to ask all of you listening to this. If you can go to the

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Number 25 in Sudoku puzzles, and go to the end and find this, this exact Dora, for kohlrabi in neelima and Zelda ilium. In higher infiltrator, you'll see you'll see it, clip out that portion of the verse and put it on your screensaver. And just see it all the time. What a beautiful and profound reminder of how important it is not just to do righteous deeds, but to look for the opportunity to do righteous deeds, look for those opportunities. You know, yesterday's video, if you haven't seen it, I encourage you to just watch it. I mean, at least just watch the first two, three minutes of it, I tell a story of an opportunity that I had just yesterday, I think resistor day

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before

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going up to a cashier that was literally handled by another customer that was in front of me made her cry, put her through a situation. But it was an opportunity now for me to do something good for somebody else, and it took full advantage of that. So just take check that out. And I'm sure all of you have stories like that. So the point here is this very simple and let's conclude gender interaction is completely permissible, unless there is a reason from the Quran or the Sunnah that disapproves or prohibits it. So let me say that again, everything is allowed until the Quran and Sunnah tells you that's not allowed. So yes, if you're going to sit there and socialize and your

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desire starts going all over the place, then obviously, that's not allowed. If you're going to talk to somebody of the opposite gender, just to kind of understand them, figure out who they are, try to get their number try to get connected, try to say okay, like, let's be friends, etc. For obvious reasons. All the scholars agree. That's how I'm situation, right? You don't want to open those doors to begin with. But when you're simply this, do you need some help? Hey, look, we have a project to work on, let's can we work on it, if you just stick to what the subject is and what you need to do and accomplish, and this is what our religion completely allows, and our Prophet alayhi salaatu wa

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sallam de had done this, the reason why this subject is such, I mean, it might seem complicated for some, it's not because of what Islam taught, and how Islam teaches us to, you know, the whole idea of laws of interaction, but it's actually culture. It's actually habits and tradition, you might grow up in a village or in a community or in a culture where the women, you know, are the men, you're just you don't go near the opposite gender, if you do you get like this allergic reaction or something, right, you just cannot mix or interact with nobody of the opposite gender. The consequence of that is, when it does come time for you to go up to a cashier, or you need some help,

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and the only person behind the desk is the opposite gender. The problem when you have that level of separation, is that when it does come time for you to interact, it becomes impossible, it becomes awkward, you don't know how to talk to the opposition, you don't know how to interact, you don't know how to ask for things. You just don't know how to conduct yourselves. And that is not from the Sunnah of our Prophet alayhi salaatu wa sallam interacting with the opposite gender as long as you have the proper etiquettes you follow the rules of our and the teachings of the Quran and Sunnah. You'll be just fine. And so our Prophet alayhi salatu salam is the best example of this. And people

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ask all the time, how do we know when too much is too much? How do we know? When I cross the line? How do I know Okay, when I need to talk to the opposite danger? How do I even start that conversation? all of the details in between what is considered socially acceptable as opposed to what Islam allows as well? How do we find a balance between the two, all of these things actually, I teach a course on the laws of attraction and gender relations in Islam, and we go through a lot of these things, it's a two day course. And inshallah once this lockdown is completely over, I'm going to start teaching that program again. But the point is, is that we go through all of those details,

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each of them have their own separate scenario with their own fake rulings as well. But what I want to highlight today is very, very simple. Talking to the opposite gender is permissible, interacting with the opposite gender is permissible, but the condition is follow the sun the rules of the poor and the sin of our messenger sallallahu it was to do it the way that they that he solo how it was set up and his companions would do it. That's how you make your life a little bit easier. So when you know yourself and you know Okay, my heart My my voice is saying one thing about my heart and my emotions and my desires are going through the roof, then you know, okay, I need to back off.

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interaction with the opposite gender is really not for everybody. So you got to know yourself so that you know your limits, etc. So you

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Don't cross any boundaries. Last thing that I want to say on the subject is that

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keeping in mind our Prophet alayhi salatu was salam, although that he did interact with the opposite gender, he did so on a need by need basis if they needed something he was there if they asked him something, he answered. And once there was a woman that came to the Prophet alayhi salatu was Salam and pretty much said to him, you know, sola you give so much time to the men meaning you you teach them and you answer all of their questions. We have questions, too. We need answers to give us some time. And the Prophet Allah subtle sub didn't say, Okay, listen, don't talk to me like that. Or First of all, you should be behind that wall. He didn't do any of those things. You know what he

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does, he tells the woman go pick a day, and I will be there, gather the women, and we will answer all of your questions and iron up all of these issues. And so brothers and sisters, as I've always said, and I've said this many times, I'm sure many times you've heard it, we are the ones that make Islam difficult. Islam in and of itself is not a difficult to religion when in him. But we, because of our cultural influences our habits, what we're accustomed to, we integrate and force that into the religion. And this is where those weird behaviors and habits come as like, Oh, I shouldn't smile when there's women around, you shouldn't talk to them. And you shouldn't respond to no slams, none

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of this was from the center of our messenger. So lahardee was something you've got to know yourself. And so the last thing that I really would want to say to you is that if you find yourself that in a simple conversation, where you're sitting in a classroom, and your teacher is of the opposite gender, if you find that that stuff bothers you, like it stimulates something and makes you feel something, you start acting in a certain way. It's not the fact that you're into that you're in that particular moment, that's caused you to start behaving or feeling that way. This is a more this is a deeper spiritual issue that you need to figure out. So if you are at the cashier, and you get some

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change in your hand, and the cashier touches your hand, and that does something to you, that doesn't mean that there's something wrong with the cashier. You need to really sit down and rediscover and understand and try to navigate some of those issues. This is a deep spiritual problem, right? It's not a problem necessarily just desires or something. This is somebody that needs some help. You need to just talk to somebody you need to have some questions answered. And you need to just go through on that spiritual journey to understand Okay, how do I cope with these kinds of situations and move on from them so that they don't become a problem for me, as it continue in the future in sha Allah

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hotelera. So just keep that in mind and self reflect and think about these issues and what they mean to you. But understand, this is important to find a balance in this sort of thing. If you become too isolated and secluded, that becomes a problem. If you engross and indulge yourself in everything that becomes a problem. The poor an incentive to help us to find a place right in the middle. And that's where we want to be May Allah subhanho wa Taala continue to teach us this blessed book than all of its lessons and knowledge and teach us and help preserve and protect the example of this book, our messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in our hearts and in our lives alone. I mean,

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hopefully this is another verse, that if you lived a certain way or thought of the subject in a certain way, hopefully these verses help to change your life for the better. Aloma me just like mellow, hated, everybody, take care of yourself until we meet again, was Salam or aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh