How He Stopped Himself From Zina

So Mr. Lincoln want to let you about a cartoon guys want to hear something just out of this world. earlier on in the winter break, I get this call from a brother, okay? He's on his way to a hotel. And he's gonna commit Zina where the lady and the lady was already in the hotel room waiting for him. And this brother, a Muslim brother, he's feeling guilty. He's been planning this for a while. And he wants to meet up with her several attempts never worked out in the past. So now this one, finally everything just kind of came together. He's driving to the hotel guys. He's driving to the hotel. And the guilt is just killing him. So you know what he does? He calls me.

So I get this call, like around 10pm or something in the evening. And he's crying, and he's upset and he's like, SOS, I need your help. I really need your help. And I was like, I gotta stop this. And he said, everything that leads up to this point, he he, It's all his fault. Now that he's actually driving there to the hotel, he is upset in himself. He's guilty. And he knows how wrong it is for what he's about to do. He's gonna go and commit adultery. Right? So first thing I'm thinking now, is this like a joke? Like, I don't even know if this is real or not. So I told him, I can hear him driving. So I tell him, pull over, find a place that's safe and pull over. And literally within

like, 30 seconds, he pulls over, right? I said, Okay, pull me on video call. And he's like, he's hesitant. He is a no, no, no, I don't want you to see who I am. You know me, you've seen me around, I don't want you to see. And I'm like, everything that I've ever been taught about doing this kind of work. This is the first lesson is, I will never judge anyone with whatever they've done. Right? So I kept it took some convincing, but eventually convinced them I said, I need to see you. So I'm like you called me. You're asking me for my help. You're in the midst of doing this. I need to see you. So eventually, he put me on video call and I saw his face. And lo and behold, I recognized 100%

right away who this guy was right? I was like, oh my god. Okay. Anyhow, put all of that aside. Let's just show me around where you stopped. And he ended up stopping in a McDonald's parking lot, said look, first thing you're going to do is you're going to message her, and you're going to tell her you're not going to make it. So he's messaging her. And he's like, I can't make it. Obviously, within seconds, she messages him back. And she's like, What do you mean, you can make it? I'm already here. We planned this for months. Well, how could you? How could you do this to me? How could you let me down? Come on, what's wrong? Is everything okay? Are you safe, I'm worried bubble.

And it just went on and on. And he's telling me He's like, she's what's happening the back and she's telling me all of these things. What do I say? I told him, don't say anything. Just tell her she can go home now. That's it. You might probably you know, when you're listening to this, you might be thinking, you know, it's kind of harsh. Well, Nothing's more harsh than the sin that he intended to commit to. Right. So everything else beneath that I was thinking in my mind, the way that I was processing This is that if you lie, it's okay. You can just make up an excuse and lie that you can make it something happen. And that would be okay. Because it won't compare to the level of what this

major sin is all about. So it's like, I just thought in that particular like that mindset. So eventually tells me he's like, can make it she leaves. She goes home. And he starts to feel like this massive burden comes off his shoulders, and he's, and literally in his car. He's showing me he sits like this.

And he starts to catch himself together. In in Edo, jazak. Hello, thank you. Thank you. And I said, bro,

it's not over. We're just getting started here. What do you mean? Just like hello. Hi, Ron. Come on. We haven't solved anything yet. And this is when I said to him, I said, Look.

Now the real test begins. How are you going to prevent this from happening again? What are you going to do? I'm gonna have to convince him to delete her number. If she texts you and obviously she will. She'll get in contact with you what's going on? What's going on? Just tell him or be straightforward and just say, I can't do this anymore. I can't meet up with you. I'm sorry. It's done. And just cut. Cut it off completely. Like just stop everything. Don't even think twice. Just bring it to a full stop. Here's what happened. Eventually. So this is during the winter breaks. This is about a couple weeks ago. Here's what happened. Now, today, I get a call.

From the brother, I've handled a lemon. This guy was grateful he cut off, he cut ties with her, she actually cut ties with him as well. So clearly this was not like

this. This clearly was not like a relationship that we're just meeting up to.

We'll just fool around, I guess I don't know. Right. And so he was grateful of that. The test for him now is that the temptation of always being able to do this of there's something that's triggering that you're in psychology, they teach us about triggers, right? So there's something that's triggering him to keep thinking about doing this act. And lo and behold, this guy is totally addicted to pornography. So pornography eventually led him that he wanted to try everything he was watching. So this goes back to something. And this is what I'm going to leave you guys with, right? This goes back to something that I lecture about other speakers lecture about all the time. It's one

thing to tackle a sin. And it's a whole nother approach to tackle the cause of the sin, the root problem of the sin. But going through this whole scenario, this has never happened to me in my whole life, where somebody was calling me when they were on the verge of committing a major sin. I've talked to people who and I've seen people who were in the midst of doing something wrong. And that was a little bit easier, because I could just say to them, what are you doing? Stop? Okay, that's wrong. Don't talk like that. Don't do that. Don't act that way. But somebody's like, on their way to doing this act. That had never happened to me before. And there's a couple of things that I wanted

to share with all of you that I learned from it. But I hope that you guys learn from this as well, right? Number one, don't judge. You have no idea, the strength, the courage, the mental focus that it takes for somebody to pick up the phone and call somebody that normally you would never want to expose that kind of situation to this guy, I know him and I see him regularly. It's not just those one off things. I see this brother regularly. I know him. I know his name, everything. So I understood why he hesitated in the beginning. But the point is, is that eventually after all of that was pushed aside, he realized that I didn't judge him. And that alone fed some strength in him.

That, okay, I'm not going to be judged, I'm not going to be talked about, I can trust this guy. That alone fed his courage, that alone gave him strength. That was the first thing. And the reason why I'm stressing on that is, very often we're really good. as Muslims, we're really good at judging each other. Right? We do this all the time. And the point is, is that when you think you're judging somebody by labeling them, or assuming that they are this kind of person, because of the things that they say, or do, you know, on the outside, that's fine. And all of those things have limitations, I can judge you based on how you talk to me, how you dress how you appear in front of me. But I can't

label you with that judgment. And what I mean is that I can pass on judgments, but I can't stamp that and say, That's who you are, or that's how you behave. And that's what you want. I shouldn't do that. And I can't do that. Because why people change. As long as we are alive, we always have the opportunity to better ourselves. So that's the first point. Second point is, this guy didn't procrastinate and didn't hesitate. Whenever I told him to do something, he just did it. And it's not this, you know, you go into this whole seminar. Now, what are that kind of mindset, it's about when you know that Allah subhanaw taala tells you to do something, sometimes you just have to do it. Like

Don't hesitate, just do what you're told to do. Sometimes that's what it is. Sure. I'm not discouraging to ask questions and to critique and do all of those things. I'm just saying that there are certain things when Allah says up the Masada stand up and pray. When Allah says stay away from this stuff, that might be a little tricky, but you've got to start off by staying away from the little things. This is why our Prophet Ali salat wa salam told us that Ise commands in the IRS commands in the hands commands in you Right, so

I just I don't know. It just really puzzled me. It shocked me. It reminded me it you know, it really did a lot for me when this whole situation happened. And this morning, I spoke to him and he was in good spirits. He was happy. I just hope that he stays on this track. And the whole point of this short reminder guys is just to remind myself remind all of you. As long as we are here we always have what it takes to overcome any major sin minor sin, it doesn't matter.

No one knows what our tomorrow brings.

Some of the worst people to ever touch the ground got Jenna.

So the worst people

and you can read about sahabas pretty much every single companion, every single companion before they became Muslim. What were they? They were committing choke. They were involved in idol worship, they were drinking, they were committing Zina. They were stealing. They were cheating. They were doing every single crime you can think of. And eventually profit are the subtle, some will go up to certain companions and said, Allah has just told me you're going to Jenna. aromatics tried to assassinate the Prophet RT. Salatu was Salam before he became Muslim. Now omoto the loved one is buried beside the man he tried to assassinate, like, nobody knows what tomorrow is like. And I have

a lot of confidence in this particular brother.

And I hope that all of you find some strength and some confidence within yourself in short, Allahu taala. So, that's all so I wanted to share with you I, I felt confused and I felt lost when I when I got this call, but then at the same time, I felt relieved. And I felt that you know, some kind of law when I put aside my personal feelings about how and what I could have said to this brother, and just tackle the problem itself. It changed everything, everything changed. And by Allah's Will, and Allah subhana wa tireless Baraka it was it was where we needed to be in Sharla So, that being said, what do you what are some of you guys in the comments we is talking about Turkey?

even know what what's going on? Anyhow,

inshallah I'm taking a break from the Tafseer today just because I got a ton of different things to do. So, inshallah we will resume the tips here tomorrow be vanilla. Take care, guys. Man, Eliza. Would y'all bless all of you? said Mr. Li como la he will work out