Father and Mother vs Son and Daughter #2

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Musleh Khan

Channel: Musleh Khan

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Episode Transcript

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hemd ilango Bella alameen wa Salatu was salam wa ala to manually aquilani hired hulten la vida de he was hobby he he Marian buried Salam or Aleikum, wa Rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh two.

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Brothers and sisters, we welcome you here once again in sha Allah to the session two of a series dealing with family issues, specifically the parents versus their children. Our last point that we discussed from the lessons of soda use if and how we can use that to implement in our own family relationships is we talked about the stages of sobotta or patience, and concluded with the highest level of sub or the highest level of patience, which of course is what Allah azza wa jal calls sablon jameelah beautiful patience. We talked about that beautiful patience is the patience of Yaqoob are they his solemn, and we talked about what this patience means or how it interprets is

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that this is the kind of patients that no matter what happens to you in your whole life, you always rely upon Allah. You don't care about what anybody has to say to you. You don't care about what anybody is thinking of you. You don't care about your own personal thoughts and worries, the moment something happens. It's only between you and Allah azza wa jal and you rely on that completely. This is the highest level of patience, that Eliza gels

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okay?

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So it's the most or the highest pinnacle of patients that Ally's the widow calls of beautiful so let's continue of the lessons that from sorta to use if that encourages or teaches us to build a good family relationship is the dangers of interacting with the opposite gender, especially when there is temptation. This here, this is the this the discussion of when Yusuf Ali has sat down was being seduced by the woman. Obviously, he was working for this wife of the Aziz, he was working for her he was a slave and a servant to her. And obviously, during all of those years that he was working and serving her in the palace. She eventually started to fall in love with him and it was

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driving her crazy. So what did she do? Eliza just starts talking about it, what all the totality who the what all what that will let you who are fi Beatty has an FC wahala katella we'll call a title like this person here has got to be crazy to do this. What happens is that Allah azza wa jal says that they were in the home, she waited until she was alone with this person. Then she locks all the doors. While huddled up until above, Allah doesn't say wahala Patil uses the shedder. What that tells you is that not only did she lock the door, but she slammed the door closed, like in a hurry. She was so I don't know, she was so crazed, that she couldn't control herself, she wanted to be

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alone with him. Now, the lesson here for us is very simple. This here obviously shows us the dangers of free mixing, free mixing in our Shetty era is hot on in and of itself. But there are times where it's necessary to do basic fundamental things. So for example, if you go to the grocery store, if you go to school, and you just need those basic things or you're working at a job, and you need to interact with somebody of the opposite gender just to get a job done, then these are where should the Shetty are permits these things. But there's a condition, the condition is very, very simple. And this is the condition where you as a Muslim, you have to monitor yourself, you have to know

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yourself, I can tell you about this. And the condition is very simple that you have to know what is your limit when dealing with somebody of the opposite gender, for some literally just being within the vicinity where there are other men and women is a fitna for them. For others that doesn't bother them one bit, they can still pray, they can still fear Allah, they can still do everything. But the problem for them is the moment that somebody comes and speaks to them. That's too much. For others, somebody can come to speak to them and it has no effect on them whatsoever. They can still Stop it, they can ignore it. They can continue with their life, unless somebody tries to tempt them. So for

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example, somebody says so somebody says to you one day, Wow, you look really handsome today. And you're probably thinking to yourself, oh my goodness, you know this

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Girl actually said that I'm handsome. And that gets to you, then obviously, you know where to draw the limit. Now you know that you can't be in a position where this person is going to come up to you the next day and say, Wow, you look even more handsome or something else, right? So you want to avoid those situations. And this is why our LMS they give us a guideline, especially for students, when you go to school, you always have this issue, you're always going to be an issue. And a lot of our brothers and sisters, when you're working environments, that you're always going to have to interact with somebody of the opposite gender, you either might have an assignment to do or a

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project to do. And there's like a girl or a guy in your group. Or if you're in the working workplace, then you have colleagues that are of the opposite gender. So how do you deal with all of this, like I said, brothers and sisters, set rules and guidelines for yourself. I myself, I went to a high school here in Toronto, I went to York, I went to Seneca, like I went to the same environments that most of you are going through at this very moment. But unhandled Allah, Allah gave me strength, I was still able to pray all of my solid, I was still able to have the taqwa and the fear that I always wished for that Allah will bestow upon me, and I knew what I had to do to get it.

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I just had to follow the rules that Allah gave me. So whenever a girl would come up to me and talk to me or want to ask me things, I knew how to set limits to that. I knew how to make an answer short, I knew how to get to the point. And if I was sitting in a classroom and the teacher or I happened to be sitting in a chair where somebody else beside me was a girl there girl that I knew what I had to do, which was just fine under the seat, if I couldn't find another seat, then I would deal with the situation. But I would still have good luck, good manners and fear Allah azza wa jal as best as I could. It's very, very, you know, brothers and sisters, honestly, it's really easy to

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do this, it's actually a lot easier than people think, just to pause for a moment.

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I love these license plate x five, three, v, t two, it's a Florida license plate. So for this person, I'm not sure what the situation is here, but maybe you want to attend to your vehicle inshallah. So that's the whole issue with the free mixing. So set rules for yourself. And that's it. Now, here's where the some another issue comes up families.

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One of the problems with families is that you may have like certain family gatherings where one person in the family doesn't feel comfortable being around certain people. Why? Because they're your family friend, and you've known them for like the last 20 years. So it's just some guy, or it's just some lady who's been your neighbor for like, 20 years. So when you were a child used to go over there, and you guys all had a wonderful relationship, but you grew up, you became more practicing. And now How are you supposed to have a relationship with this individual? Honestly, here, it's very simple, but it's difficult to implement, you gotta, you have to have some wisdom and how you do

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this. Because basically, you're taking a past lifestyle, and you're trying to indicate to that person that you're not like that anymore. And you want them to see the new individual that you're practicing devoted Muslim, you can come and meet them alone anymore. You can come and give them a hug that you used to give them anymore. And if you tell them that what's going to happen, most likely they're going to get offended or they're going to feel insulted or degraded by you. They're going to be like what kind of religion are you look how rude you are to me, I helped raise you, I changed your diaper. I did this and that for you. So how could you treat me this way? This is where

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I will say to all of us here brothers and sisters, mothers, fathers, children, fear allies, silica gel, more than fearing the creation of Allah azza wa jal, sometimes you will be faced with situations I face them to where you're going to make hardcore decisions, you're going to have to make those decisions that you know is going to be heartbreaking for the person who in front of you, but you're going to have to let them know say, look, I started wearing my hijab now, and I can't be around you or you can't see my hair at least. So the next time you want to come over, you got to let me know so I can put on my hijab, or I can come and give you a kiss on the cheek anymore. Or you

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know, I'm an older man. Now you know, you need to dress a little bit better in front of all of these things. You got to be honest, if you can do it, get somebody else to do it on your behalf. Get somebody else to do it on your behalf. Try to avoid fitna as much as you can. Free mixing some of the orlimar said is one of the ways to poison the heart. It's one of the ways to weaken our Amen. It's one of the ways to destroy the news of a man and faith in our hearts. When we find enjoyment in these things, when we find them care or when we find ourselves careless with these issues. A lot of people think that just because we live in this society that this should never be an issue.

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And this was never something that ordem ever spoke about and they never accepted this that it doesn't matter which society you are, as long as you have toe heat as long as you have fundamentals of your deen you should be able to follow those guidelines as best as you can. Here we don't have an issue with this as long as you're Muslim you know exactly what you should be doing so suited Youssef teaches us this. Another lesson is from Allah azza wa jal. Now this is important. Allah azza wa jal saves the righteous servant when they need him the most. So the servant that is pious, the servant that's praying all the time, this servant, the believer, that's always devoted to Allah azza wa jal.

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This is the person that Allah pays attention to the most. He doesn't just ignore everyone else. But at least there's more emphasis on this particular person. We see this here in sort of the use of as well. He's a young man, he's a slave, and he's being tempted by this woman who is the wife of one of the leaders of Egypt. So she's not just a slave herself. This is a woman that's like, really, really high, you know, she's got a high status and authority, and he's just the slave. So he's being tempted for quote, unquote, from the best if you'd like, from the most elite of women, but yet because of his righteousness, Allah saved him from falling into anything or any sin.

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I told you, I love these things, right? Here's another one. Grave n 442, why WD blocking three cars, Mashallah is the majapahit here, so he's blocking three cars, and it must be moved as soon as possible. So it's a grave n 442 YW. d.

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Yellow. So this is the this is the beauty of a righteous servant. Now, it's important for us here to talk a little bit about how you speak to Allah. How do you speak to Allah azza wa jal? How do you ask him for something? Imagine yourself, a person who has a friend.

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And that friend, you don't know them, you know, you're not really best friends with them, you're not close with them. You just kind of see him or her on and off. All of a sudden, that friend comes up to you one day and says, Look, I need to borrow 50 bucks? Can you lend it to me? Now? Are you going to lend $50? to a person that you see, like once a month? No, you wouldn't do that, simply because you don't have that kind of connection with that individual where you're going to lend him that kind of money, even if he calls and he says, Look, I need a toonie you might be like, Oh, look, man, I don't know. But if you have a friend, that you see that person every single day, you have a close

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relationship with them. And that person asks you for $50 if you still said no alcohol mastan Well, if you say yes, then obviously that makes sense. Because you know the person you have a close relationship with them. So you're more likely or more inclined to lending that person who you have a close relationship with the money rather than somebody who you weren't close to. That's the same logic that you have, you must have with Allah azza wa jal. If you're not making dua to Allah during times of ease, don't expect that Allah azza wa jal will respond to you immediately during times of difficulty. Why? Because you don't have that close relationship with Allah azza wa jal during those

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times of ease, listen to the wording. If you want Allah azza wa jal to help you during times of difficulty, it may not happen immediately, Allah will listen to your door, a low will will see that door and he will decide whether to respond to it at that moment, or later on, but righteousness will increase the answer of that door The sooner as soon as possible. So we see that from Surah, Yusuf Ali, he said, um, so what does this have to do with family and children? This is very simple. Mothers and fathers, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Your Dora is accepted, whether it is for your children, or against your children, Allah will accept it from you. And there are many

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narrations in Sahih Muslim that talk about this, where a mother would make Dora against his or her child, because, you know, there's one very famous narration of a woman who was calling and calling and calling for her child and her child was praying and he didn't respond to his mother and he was praying enough in prayer. If I remember creditors pm lady was praying

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But the point is, is that when the mother responded as was calling for and he didn't respond, the mother sort of cursed him in a way. And he said, you know, made this made this child perish, or may this child never see the gender never see the light. Eventually, later on the profits on the low it was Selim spoke about this woman and her story, and said, because she mentioned that this child is blocked from entering Alice, Jenna until the mother forgives her, which clearly shows that a parent, your Dora is accepted by Allah azza wa jal. And this is one of the blessings of being a parent, this is one of the shutoff and the authority, one of the blessings and honor that you have of being

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mothers and fathers. That's why your responsibility is so strong, especially with your children. So what I want to say here is, stay as righteous as you can, and Allah will respond to your door. Imagine you know, when you're making do it that your child you know, hasn't returned home or is coming home like a 12 at one o'clock in the night, and your child is drunk and you know, smells like cigarette or something, and you're making to our Ola, protect my channel, my love, oh, love, give my child Amen. This and that this and that. And Allah is not responding to your door. And then this is one of the things that you'll have to look at you your personal self. You know, I could give you an

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example, a real example of a mother. She raised a bunch of children right here in Toronto, she has a bunch of children, and she's always making dua to Allah to bless her children, always, always making sure all loveless my kids, one of the one of the child became a half of the Koran. The other child became a student of knowledge, actually, two of the kids became students of knowledge. The rest of the children are not bad in the sense that they're not involved in any drugs. They all pray five times a day and gentlemen, good practicing children. Is this a sign that her daughter is accepted? Absolutely. Here's where the problem was. The problem is, she was so busy making dua for her family,

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she forgot herself. She has never picked up the core n in at least maybe 10 years of her life. She has never ever prayed a Nuffield prayer on her own. She herself doesn't know how to recite or an she herself doesn't know the logistics of Salah how to perfect the sada she herself doesn't have the basic fundamentals about the deen. So she's making making making Dora thinking that maybe her door is accepted or not. But she doesn't know that because of her situation allies. So we'll make cars that one of those children will wake up one day and say, You know what?

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I don't believe in Islam no more.

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Or I don't want to I don't want to pray anymore. It's too It's too much of a burden on me. So what is she going to do after that? She's going to pull her hair now. And she's like, oh, my goodness, what just happened here? You know, I've been making too. I have good family. So many years, there were this there were that so you know what they do? They bring them to Brother Muslim.

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And they say brother Muslim, here, see where the problem is? fixed my child. And this here, I would sit there What can I do? The child will come Salah Marley come share, How are you different, you know, looked very proper, very pious, devoted individual. But they will say yes, yeah, I don't want to pray no more. I don't see the importance of it. This here may not be necessarily his fault. But it might be the fault of those under or over there authority, that people who are in control of their affairs. Parents, I cannot emphasize enough, how blessed and honored and the authority that you will have that Allah gave you over your children. So do not lose sight of that. And especially

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do not lose sight over yourselves. Second, or the next lesson. This is an obvious one. And that is

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gossip, slander, backbiting all of these things, destroy families, destroy morals and family values. You know what's happening now, all you have to do, you don't have to hear your parents or your children talking about anybody anymore. To see this happening in your families. All you have to do is look at the TV and watch what children might be looking at at that moment. So like the Simpsons and all of these other different shows, these are shows our family guy and all of these things. These are shows that are out there to destroy family values to destroy the good etiquettes and morals that we grew up with all those basic fundamentals. This is why I always say make sure you

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know children. Be careful what you watch on TV, and parents. Make sure you monitor the programs that your children are watching, whether it be on TV or an internet, whatever. Just make sure you know and make

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Make sure you set rules. Anybody who watches things like family guy or the Simpsons will law he, I tell you honestly, this is a sign that there is a slight level of corruption in your heart, if you find comfort in this, because here is that guy, slick about the family guy, I don't even know what his name is. But this guy, here's a man who's supposed to be a family guy. Literally, every single word that comes out of his mouth is either an insult to people in general, or it's an insult to his own family. And then, you know, you guys all know exactly what I'm talking about that just his his behavior with anybody. This is supposed to be the father figure of the family. This is what's being

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pumped into children today. I don't know if it's just me.

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But ever since 2013 started, I don't know if it's just to be alone. I've never really like sat and thought about this or asked anybody about it. It's just something that I've kind of noticed. Maybe some of you have noticed, since 2013, those of you who have TVs at home, don't you notice that there are more corrupted things to watch. Now, there are more shameful acts being presented in front of you. There's even cartoons that you know, influence people to get confused of their sexual identity and who they are. I don't know. But well, he it's like something that I kind of noticed now happening. And I have to do this, I have to sit in front of the TV once in a while, simply because

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I'm a tolerable I'm a student of knowledge. And so part of me and part of my duty is I'm required to know what children are watching. Sometimes I'd be sitting there, and I'll flip the channels. And it's so difficult to sit in front of one channel for more than like five minutes, unless it's like a sports channel or something. And then even when the sports channel comes along, then you have like the halftime show. And then you have the cheerleaders that come out and do two things. So you have to change the channel again, then, you know, you'll watch like a game show. And then in the game show, when the commercial time comes, you see like these crazy commercial, you have to change the

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channel again. Then you come to the cartoons. And then you watch the cartoons, then you'll see like a bear kissing a rabbit on its own. You have to change the channel again, right. And you just got to keep doing this all the time. It's like fitna is rolling into the house in every single corner. And it just makes me remember what the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam once said, he stood up on a wall and he looked at all of his companions and says will lie. There will come a time when fitna will come on every single home, like a strong storm, like how strong rain storm that will come. And this is how it will fall upon each and every one of the homes. Sometimes I don't have any right to

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say this or to make this statement. Sometimes I feel like we live in that time. Sometimes I feel like that's what we're dealing with. There's so much fitness, why some of the orlimar they said, you don't have to worry about the shaitan coming into your home no more. Because shaitan lives in there through the TV and through other networks and things like that shaytaan has already found a place that he's living there. Now, this doesn't mean that TV is hot on but obviously depending on what it's used for. All of this we find in sort of use of this whole concept of backbiting and slandering and so on. Obviously, all of this comes when the wife eventually when she was confronted, she

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seduced Yusuf Ali his Salaam, then the word got out. The women in Egypt, they started talking about this wife and started saying, did you hear? Did you hear that she actually tried to throw herself at a slave. She's the she's the wife of this elite finance minister, you know, this leader? Look what she did. So what happened? Is gossip started floating around the city. What does gossip do? Obviously gossip causes people to do evil things. These women, what they did is they created a plot. And they wanted to throw this plot to the wife herself. So what they did is they confronted her, and they said, How could you do something like this? You know, how could you throw yourself at a slave

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and this worthless sub human being? So what did the wife do? She's a woman so she knew what to do. So she says I'm going to invite all of you come over and see what I see. That is why the women were gossiping. They weren't just gossiping because they wanted to talk about this disease wife, but they were gossiping because they themselves wanted to see who you serve boys. So this was their avenue to get into it. And you guys know the story. So they eventually they saw us live according to one narratives, they started cutting

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Their risk because they were blinded, they were so overwhelmed by his beauty. That's what gossip does some of the orlimar they said that gossip destroys your amen. If a person can control their tongue, this is a person that can control their Amen. Literally, that's what it is, you can control your event, because you'll be so caught up with the affairs of everyone else, that you will forget your own self. This is why one of the great scholars during the time of the Tabby our own from Basilica by the name of his help, although he mohalla he was walking through the Marketplace in bustle, and he was a great scholar. So the people that came in, they surrounded him and said yeah,

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about is how about is how they were so happy. How could a great scholar be here? So they all gathered around him and they wanted to ask him questions. So the first question that they asked him is, yeah, but it's help. Why is it that we're making dua to Allah azza wa jal, and our door is not being responded to. So Abu is happy rahimullah responded and said, it's because you have poisoned yourselves in 10 areas. And one of the areas that he mentions to them is that your tongue, you speak about the affairs of others and forget your own affairs. Then another one that he mentions is you busy your nights, you busy your nights, speaking about everyone else, and you forget about your

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nights and what the purpose of your night should be. This is like the person who stays up like really late hours. You know, a lot of youngsters they like to do this. They'll stay up with their friends like really late till 12 and one o'clock in the morning, and there's just chillin. How Yeah, man, did you see LeBron, he did this he they're just talking until like one o'clock in the morning. And they're just going going this here actually destroys your Amen. So why do I say this? families, set a curfew or a bedtime for your children, set a curfew or bedtime for them. This is when the night is over. This is why Allah says in the poor earn, who will lead the Jara de la como laina y Li

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test skoon Allah azza wa jal says that I made the the nights a time for you to rest. And I've made the days the time for you to be awake.

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Children, they have to learn how to do this. They have to learn how to do this. And all of us we know this, you know how many times you have to tell your child Okay, it's bedtime and the child be like no, no, no, I want to watch this or want to do this. And you're like, no, it's bedtime. And they'll drop their things and go upstairs and they have to be taught and trained how to do that. And we're the only ones that can do that for them. Another blessing that we get or blessing that we see in this magnificent pseudotsuga Yousef

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is that the believer? This is extremely important. A believer must call out to Allah subhanho wa Taala to help and overcome any sin. A believer must call upon Allah azza wa jal in order to overcome a sin. When he was being tempted Yusuf Alayhi Salaam, what's the first thing that he do? The first thing that he did is he called upon Allah. When he said, it's up to Allah, Allah is the one that can take me out of this. What did he say? Parliament as a law. That's the first thing that he said. So scholars, they said that here when he was in when he was surrounded by sin, scholars say that here is the lesson where we learn we can never overcome a sin unless we call upon a lot to help us in

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over to overcome that sin. This is especially important for any one of us whether you're a family person or not. Children are not every single one of us, we fall into problems. Every single one of us we fall into situations. The point here is you can never overcome anything unless you ask Allah to help you. What was happening to us the Father, his son, he was being seduced by a woman. So the next time you might be in a situation where you know there's a lot of fitna, you walk into a doctor's office and you hear music blasting so loud in your ears, and it's causing you to remember music in the past. Then this is where you ask Allah Allah protect me. Oh ALLAH forgive me with a

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biller or something you just remember Allah azza wa jal as best as you can.

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Another benefit that we get from solid use IV is one of the wisdoms in this sorta is that you need to speak to people at a time and place that they are comfortable with. You need to speak to people at a time and place that they are comfortable with. The part of the suitor here is the two people

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prisoners. When Yusuf Ali Hassan was thrown into the jail, he met two prisoners there. One of the prisoners asked him about, both of them asked him about a dream. So the first prisoner his dream, Yusuf Ali, his Sallam told him no, I will answer your question later on when the food is delivered. What did he do here? He basically, instead of responding to the question at that very moment, he says, I'll deal with this later, right now it's my turn, turn to give you Darwin. And that's why he starts talking about Allah. And he goes, this is my Lord, and this is who I worship. Now, how do you interpret this for yourself?

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One of the mistakes that parents they make when it comes to dealing with their children, is number one, embarrassing your children. Children do not want to be embarrassed, they don't have any reason to be embarrassed, they should never be embarrassed. So for example, you happen to be walking in like a grocery store, and your child probably comes in picks up an item that you know, you don't want them to pick up, or it's too expensive. So what a parent does is that a parent will look him and start screaming at him in front of the store, you don't get a job do this, what's wrong with you don't do this, or you can eat that or this is how to point his child gets embarrassed. embarrassment

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for a child is very different than the embarrassment for an adult. For us adults. If we ever get embarrassed, we know how to take that embarrassment and throw it out the window. Because we're mature enough to understand that it's just a moment, I can move on or I don't care, whatever, I can put it behind me, not for a child, a child is going to remember that moment, for maybe 234 years of their life. That child is going to remember, it was my mom, it was my dad that did that to me. I remember meeting a brother, who told me a story. He's in like his late 30s. And he remembers being embarrassed by his mom in a grocery store. Basically, the brother when he was young, he came with a

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big two liter bottle of Coke or Pepsi, but he was holding it from the cap. So when he walked up to his mom, the cap broke. And he spilled the coke all over in the grocery store. He started crying right then and there at that very moment that he was just a child who started crying right away. But that wasn't enough for the parent, the parent responded started screaming at him in front of everybody that was around there. That child grew up in the state of anxiety and depression because of that one moment, this child here the student now told me that because of that moment, because I felt so embarrassed, I couldn't stop I couldn't I couldn't find in my in myself to walk into a

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grocery store again with my family. And it caused me to be so depressed because my I thought my parents hate me. So he actually had to be treated for this. He actually had to get medical attention and take medication just to get over this all because of one little slip one little thing. This is how far it went for a child for an adult Okay, whatever we broke it, we'll just pay for it and move on. You know, and they'll just stay like I'll three there's a cleanup I said it's done. But for child it's something very different. So parents,

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from sort of the use of it teaches us to be sensitive to the emotions of our children. Be sensitive about how they feel, be sensitive about when they want to listen to you when they can listen to you and when they don't want to listen to and channel those thoughts those emotions as best as you can. Another benefit that we get from solid use the use of hastiness does not bring any good. hastiness does not bring any good.

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This here is actually also the the part in the sutra

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that, when Yusuf Ali, his Sallam was asked by the king, the king of Egypt saw a dream. You guys know the dream about the seven cows, one of them were fat, seven cows. The other group of seven cows were skinny ones. So he saw this all in his dream. And he wanted an interpretation. So he sends a person to use in the jail cell and says, Go and bring use of Timmy to interpret this dream. Listen to what Youssef says. Youssef says to the person go back and tell the king that this is what the dream means. But I'm not going to come out here unless he confronts those women that basically framed him to fall into the prison. You see what happened here? If it was me, I would have used that

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opportunity and say well

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I'm not going to interpret this dream until you release me. That's what I would have said. And even the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he says, listen to his words. May Allah have mercy on Yusuf. Had I been in that jail. As long as Yusuf has been in that jail, I would have rushed out the door, I would have demanded that the king release me before I interpret the dream. Even the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is amazed by the patience of use of even he himself. And this year. Another wisdom is, you see that all the prophets and messengers, some of them have more strength, and other prophets that had other strength in different areas. This was the strength of

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use of his patience was like no other. He tells this guy, he interprets the dream and he still remains there. Remember how jails looked at that time. jails back then was just a solid brick room. There's no ventilation, there's no meals and things serving coming to serve you. There's no carpet, there's no concrete. It's just dirt on the floor there bugs and insects all over the place. It's really hot. It's really horrible conditions. But he's like, I'm gonna be patient. I want to protect my honor first. But the lesson here for us brothers and sisters, is to not be hasty. is to not be hasty. How do you interpret this in you, it's just your your basic family things that you want to

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do. If you have certain visions and certain goals for yourself and for your children, be patient with them. If your child cannot understand something about the deed or cannot learn something about the deen be patient with them, and try to walk them through step by step until they can learn and understand all of us have this all of us we need this, all of us have our own pace to this.

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Another wisdom from that we learned from Surah. Yusuf is the perfection of being generous with one

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with one's guests. The guests be generous to them. And here's the question, what does that have to do with family values? If your child comes up to you one day and says mom, or Dad, I want to invite my friend from school or from the university, I want to invite them over to the home.

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And you say to them, okay, fine.

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And that child is a genuine child. So they're with their friend, they're doing their homework or assignments or whatever. And they're sitting there for hours and hours and hours. What's our duty, treat your guests with generosity. And this is like the simple things. If it was your auntie or uncle or your nephew, or your daughter or somebody else you would offer something do the same thing. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam encouraged us to do this, to treat the guests the same way that they would treat you. So the guest is friendly and kind and pleasant to you then try to be friendly and kind and pleasant to them. You know why I say this? Because for a lot of families, you

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know what they do? They allow the Friends of their children to come in the home. And these kids, they go up in their room and they lock the door and they stay there for like five hours. And the parent has no idea who this person is. They have no idea what kind of friend is in there. They have no idea what they're doing. Let me give you an example of how dangerous this can be. I know of a family where they've done this. And they actually have a daughter, and this daughter had one of her friends come over. That friend was a Muslim. The daughter is a Muslim. So the parents thought to themselves, well, it's to Muslims, no big deal. should be okay. They might pray their Salah, they

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might pray a little tattooed or something, whatever, right? So it's just two Muslims.

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What these two were doing in that room is something that I'm ashamed to mention on a microphone. Okay. I'm ashamed to mention it, especially because there's young kids here as well. But what I can say to you is that what these two were doing, some of the evidence to this was actually posted online. They posted pictures of themselves online. And it spread like wildfire.

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And the mother sent me like she blurred out areas of the picture so that I didn't have to see that, which she picked. She sent me a few of these pictures. And this is how I got involved in the issue.

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And this Sister, I eventually met her. She came to me in niqab.

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Do you see what happened? I mean, you see the perception that we deal on one side and the perception that's happening behind closed doors. That's why Allah says so it just says and students make sure you know this verse. If there's one thing that you take from all of this discussion today on on Friday, take this one verse in

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sorbitol nrhm Allah azza wa jal says, we're in the whom refer to Hello, Hi babe. La Ilaha Illa who, that's the, the verse continues. That's the only part that I want you to know. Allah azza wa jal says that he has the key to the unseen.

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Allah has the key to the unseen, La Ilaha Illa, who nobody will know this unseen affairs, things that are happening behind the closed doors except him. So just when you think that nobody is watching you, just when you think that mom and dad are sitting down and minding their own business, and you and anybody else could do whatever you want, you must always remember, you're being watched. You're being watched 24 hours a day, seven days a week, you're being watched. As long as you are breathing on the face of this earth, you're going to be watched, until you leave this earth, you're still going to be watched. And when you go into your grave, you're going to be watched. And when

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you're sitting in that grave, you're going to be watched. As a matter of fact, you will never ever pause in being watched. Fear Allah azza wa jal or children and students, when your fathers and mothers and the people who have authority over you are not there to see that are not there to monitor are not there to see you. How often guys do we hear? When children some of them, they go to school, they pack an extra bag, what are they doing? I mean, I'm a student of knowledge, like these are some of the things that get thrown in front of me, a beautiful young Muslim woman, Muslim girl, she'll pack in her bag, a separate outfit, so when she gets to school, she'll change. A brother

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practicing Mashallah excellent brother, but when he gets to school, he light up a cigarette or do something else. And he'll go out with his friends, he'll skip school, whatever, and he'll do his own thing when he comes home, stole our Teddy Lou and he'll start praying all of his solder look like this pious individual. What did Allah say for people like this? Allah says, for those individuals, he will take them and place them into the hellfire. If you think that's bad, it gets worse. Because Allah says that not only am I going to put them into the Hellfire, but I'm going to take them and place them right to the bottom of the fire. As you know, the Hellfire has seven stages. And this

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person will be at the bottom of that. Why? Because they will have the traits of a hypocrite or a moon FM.

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Allah as zoa just says that they are Fidel to kill us fairly mean and now they are at the bottom. Don't kill us fun is really, really like, it's really scary. Because what Allah is saying is that the person is not going to be just at the bottom standing there. But it's as if they're going to be buried at the bottom of the jahannam. It's like you're going to be permanently planted there and you cannot get out unless Allah's mercy is bestowed upon you. That's for the person who's sitting in their room typing away, and mom and dad doesn't know anything. That's for the person who's got a secret Facebook account that mom and dad don't know about. That's where the individual that's got

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friends doing things with them mom and dad don't know about and that's for any Muslim that's doing anything away from their husbands or their wives or their families or anything. Anybody who's doing this, this is where Allah azza wa jal is watching the last insha Allah point that I want to leave us with.

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This is an interesting one, I thought I would just actually two more points and then we're done. is I just thought maybe we could throw this in is the permissibility of using halaal tricks. The permissibility of using halaal tricks. Don't go far with this, right. This is all from Surah. Yusuf Yusuf Ali is, first of all, let's just define exactly what is a hideout trick. A halaal trick is something where you are not taking the rights of anyone

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and are not lying. So this is number one, you're not removing rights from anyone. You're not lying. You're not stealing, but you do something that might not be standard in order to gain a Hillel ending. You do something that's out of the abnormal just in order to get a hostile ending that's called a trick in the Shetty era. Now where is this in sort of use of use of Allah His setup himself did this

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Yusuf Ali has slammed himself he does this usif wanted to keep his little brother been Yemen, right. So he wanted to keep him in the same country. Remember that Binyamin and the rest of the brothers. They lived in Philistine Yusuf right now he was the king of Egypt at this time. So they came and they want to get food from him. So he wanted to keep his little brother to ensure his safety. So what he does here is Allah azza wa jal basically told him to do this halal trick. And the goal was to protect his brother, what did he do? He takes his little brother and he says, you'll be safe with me. And then he takes a portion, he takes that bowl that was used to give and feed the people, their

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wheat and their grains that they came for. He takes the bowl, and he puts it in one of the brothers bag, he actually puts it in Binya means bag itself. What does that do that ensures now that when they get caught, quote, unquote, stealing, they're going to have they're going to have to come up with a an agreement. In other words, just to make a long story short, when they did get caught, quote, unquote, stealing, they didn't steal anything, right? Use have planted this in their package. So eventually, when they caught and they look like they were stealing something the brothers said, keep one of us and let the rest of us go. So what did you do, he kept bugging me, that's how he

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ensured that Binyamin would remain with him. So it was like a hot out trick, right? Because what he's doing now is he wanted to ensure the safety Remember, this is his only biological brother. So he wanted to make sure that this brother was safe. So he kept him this way. Now, how do you interpret this? This is where yesterday when we start on Friday, when we were talking about certain incentives that you give your children. So if you want your children to do something, you're not really tricking them. But you're you're offering something so you say, Look, I'll give you $1, if you can take out the garbage this week or something, right? Or I'll give you $1 for every verse that

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you memorize, oh, that's a sweet deal, my shoulder, right? Imagine that every verse that you memorize, you get $1. So finish the whole Quran, you get like 6000 plus dollars in your hands, right? So that's all of these things. These are all good hideout tricks that you can do. Why? Because there's a greater good that comes out of it, you're not stealing, you're not taking the rights away from anyone. All of these things are permitted to do. All of these things are permitted. And we see that in Surah Yusuf. So obviously, you keep those conditions in mind. last and final point, one of the best benefits in the wisdom of surah Yusuf and this one here, every single one of

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us must, must do this. And that is family planning, family planning. What do you want to accomplish with your family? Children, is the only goal that you have in your life is just to finish school. What do you want to do after you're done school? What do you want to do if that career choice that you had doesn't work out? What else can you do? You know, for myself, my father wanted me to be a mechanic.

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All I love to do with cars is start them up and drive. Right. So mechanic didn't work out for me.

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Then what ended up happening is I went into paramedics, and I wanted to be a paramedic.

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And when I went into that it didn't work out. And simply because I wasn't qualified to do it. It required certain testing to be done. And at that time, I couldn't do it. So that was out. So I went from paramedic now and I went to computer programming analysis. And that's where I did most of my major in at York. So when I did, I didn't complete it, because here I am thinking I finally found my career. And three years within the program, I get accepted to Medina. So you know exactly what I'll do, right? I dropped out that same day. And I went home and I never went back to school again. And I went to Medina,

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what took me maybe two or three years to figure out, ended up leading me to a 10 year commitment. nine and a half years, nine and a half years I spent in Medina. And in those nine and a half years is where I found what I loved the most. My point here is, is that if I had at least some vision and some goal in my life, I could have tried to fast forward somehow and get to Medina earlier in my life and maybe do other things after that. Family Planning is crucial to a successful family. You don't have to sit down and write down I mean, it would be wonderful if you could, but I can understand the the the issue if you don't want to just actually sit there and write down all of your

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goals, but it's actually a good idea. I do this all the time. My cell phone

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I left it in the office, I have the those the Samsung Note. It's like the biggest phone ever right. But one of the reasons why I got it is because it has a notepad in it. And what I do is I usually write down a lot of the things that I'm thinking about a lot of the things that going through in my mind, and this is what I think about, and I write them down. Sometimes I will draw like a diagram of something. And I will just sit there and I would look at it. And sometimes I'm driving in the car, I will be talking to the diagram talking to myself, and just try to come up with thoughts about what I want to do. Well, law he brothers and sisters, let me tell you, this has been one of the most

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successful methods that I've used in planning my life in where I want to be where I see myself in five years from now, 10 years from now, all the things that I want to accomplish in between, let me give you a really good method and how to plan

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students how to plan your children to become students of knowledge. The moment that your child is at four years old, or five years old, this is field time. This is quality and time. But this is not the time where you put your child in to the messages, feed you the parent or the feed here you are the the teacher here. Now, one brothers mentioned to me when I said this last Friday, he mentioned to me something very true, actually. And he said, sometimes the parents will be the teacher, but they themselves don't know poor and they themselves don't know how to read, they don't know how to correct their own children. If that's the case, Allah help us. That's all I can say in that that's

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the case, then you have double the amount of work to do. But for those majority of parents that do know the basics of poor and you are the teacher at four or five years old for your children, give yourself at least two years for your child to just focus in core and nothing else. Don't put them in tough sealed and Hadeeth. Don't put them in nothing else. At least just keep them into core and let them recite, pour and let them fall in love with reciting it. Let them fall in love with listening to it and if they can memorize it Alhamdulillah but if they don't, don't worry about it. memorizing Quran is a blessing and a luxury. It's not an obligation. You don't you're not obligated to memorize

00:52:23--> 00:53:07

the entire poem, but if you do, the prophets I send them mentions that you will be elevated on yo pm based on how much porn you know. So you're going from five to six to around seven or eight years old. When your child is around seven or eight years old, then this is where you start to compel your child to memorize the entire por en, along with some Hadeeth along with some headings, what we're talking about our basic hatti the best book to use is albarino ebmm, unknown himself the 40 Hadith. Let your style story let your child start looking at that book at age eight between eight or nine. You want to keep that up again for another two years. So by the time your child is a 10 years old,

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they should have memorized a chunk of the Quran. And don't be surprised if I tell you if they're eight years old, they can still be half of the Quran. I have met an eight year old child in Medina, who was originally from Afghanistan, but he was born in Saudi I've met this eight year old child I was a half of the Quran. memorized the entire Quran from beginning to end. Yeah.

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Is there you? And I also actually know of an 81 year I don't know the one but I read about her an 81 year old woman who's memorize the Quran. lm has no age limit guys. It doesn't have an age limit, no matter how old you are. Don't sell yourself short. Don't plant that in your head. Oh, I'm old and this and that. And I can't do anything anymore. It just may take you a long time. You know the prophets I send them says that the mind that's that's old, like the elderly person. for them. Learning knowledge is like writing on water. But what's interesting is a lot of people don't pay attention with this hadith is the prophesize seven says they're still writing. What does that tell

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you? It tells you that that elderly person is still learning is still involved in the process I sell them doesn't say that the elderly can never learn knowledge. No. It says that with their efforts. It might be there but it might not retain as long as somebody who's younger and that's just the reality a lecrae does that way 10 years old, you've got a chunk of the Quran and some Hadith from 10 years old now to at least 15. So at least five years. You're devote your child to an Islamic study, an Islamic school Holocaust something that's consistent. This is where you need to do some homework and find a shape or a teacher that can teach your child the basic fundamentals of this

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The deme depending on what country you're in, the book that they throw at children at this age is they go through the 40 hadith of Imam and knowing when they're done, they go on they put them with reality Salim when they're done with reality solid hint, they put them with Bulu almarhum. when they're finished with Bulu, El Mirage, then they go into the higher books like Bill Hardy and Muslim. By the time that child is 18 years old, they have gone through the entire Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim. We're talking about almost 10,000 Hadeeth. They've gone through it all, for our society. Give yourself at the age of 15 that your child should know all the basic fundamentals about

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their Deen, they should know about tauheed who Allah is the smell of seafair they should know about phip they should know about Sala they should know about the importance of Zakat and how to give Zakat all of these things they should know at least by 15 years old 15 to adulthood, which was going to say around 19 years old, that's when your child you should start considering putting them in an Islamic institution. This is where you look for those online universities or to give them the option of traveling and seeking and by the time the child comes back in sha Allah, they already have started with a solid foundation, and that foundation would only cause them to become insha Allah a

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great scholar of Islam. Having said that, brothers and sisters we want to conclude in sha Allah. We ask Allah as a gel to put Baraka in our families. We ask Allah azza wa jal to put bottlecap in our homes, we ask Allah azza wa jal to put Baraka in our children. We ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to bless and reward our mothers and our fathers. I hear you mean whom well among those who are alive with us, and those who have returned to Allah azza wa jal, we ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to shower his aura upon our mothers to shower his blessings upon our fathers. We ask Allah azza wa jal to give them both his Jenna and not only give them his gender, but give them the highest level of gender

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agenda to fulfill to dos. We ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to protect our moms and our dads in this dunya We ask Allah azza wa jal to put faith in their hearts. We ask Allah azza wa jal to put stamina in their words in their in their actions, to put courage in their lives. We ask Allah azza wa jal to give our mothers and fathers good health and strength, because they are the ones that are taking care of us in this world. While law he we can never repay our mothers and fathers, children don't ever ever forget your mother and your father. Because only if you ever live to lose to see one of your mother's or your father's lost from this world, the world will become like a dark shadow for

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you. So take advantage of being with those two individuals who are the greatest human beings that you have to hold on to in your life today. May Allah azza wa jal reward you all was said Mr. alikum warahmatu law he