Ask Musleh – I have a horrible past; Why do you care?

Salam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu brothers and sisters Welcome back to as Muslim. Today inshallah we're going to be talking about I have a horrible past. Why do you care? In other words, this question, what it's talking about is two people who wish to get married both have a horrible past they've done things, they've committed a lot of sins. So are they supposed to tell each other about those sins? Or let's just say after they get married, one of the spouses finds out that the other has done some things in their past and they didn't come out with it. And so it causes a huge problem in the marriage, can he divorce her and let her go and all these different things. So the

first guideline here in sha Allah is number one, brothers and sisters, always know that your path is between you and Allah subhanho wa Taala, no one else has to know about this. That is your if you'd like your business between you and Allah azza wa jal, Allah knows that you've made mistakes, and Allah knows why you've made those mistakes, whether it was intentional or unintentional. That's no one's concerned, except you and Allah has so much else. That's the first thing that you want to know. However, number two, is when it comes time for specifically getting married, you have some things to think about. And I always tell people, and in sha Allah, I hope that this would work for

all of you as well. If there's something in your past, that's going to affect your relationship with your spouse, then you might want to think about at least informing them or at least letting them know that say, hey, look, here's my circumstance right now, or look, I've done something and I'm still trying to recover from it. Or the reason why you know, I'm going through a sickness or going through a particular problem is because of something that I've done in the past, you just got to use just some common sense, if you'd like to think about something that you know, your spouse is going to be uncomfortable with. Or if he or she finds out at a later time in the marriage, they're not

going to get upset or want to retaliate against you and say, Well, you know, what, you should have told me in the beginning, and so therefore, because you haven't, I can't trust you anymore. I want to divorce you now. And I want to let you go, don't put yourself through that. So if you know that there's something there that's going to affect the way you guys live with with each other, your trust and communication with each other, then you might want to think about to say, hey, look, I just want you to know, here's my situation, or here's my circumstance, the third guideline, you don't have to give details, you don't have to spell out every sin that you've done that you know, is

going to affect the relationship and say, Look, when I was like, 17, I did this, this, this this when I was 18. I moved on to so and so you don't have to spell things out, leave those details between yourself and a lot. So all you have to say to the person is that you know, look, I've done a couple things wrong in my life. This is how it affected me. I just want to know if this is going to be good. I want to let it out on the table right then and there. Do that in sha Allah these three criterias is three guidelines. And in sha Allah, you will see some clarity and happiness in your relationships and inshallah, in your marriages. The final advice that I want to leave all of you

with Islam. If the person if it's not related to the relationship in any way, keep it to yourself, don't talk about it. This is the primary rule and principle, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam leaves us with whenever we send something between you and Allah, as long as it doesn't affect or involve anyone else, then keep it to yourself insha Allah will tear on it. So I hope that helps brothers and sisters, may Allah subhana wa tada bada Kang your family and in your relationships was set them on a cold water from A to LA he will not occur to you