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10 Signs Your Marriage Is In Trouble – EP07

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Musleh Khan

Channel: Musleh Khan

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Episode Notes

10 Signs Your Marriage Is In Trouble – #7 Culture Before Islam

Shaykh Musleh discusses couples who give precedence to culture over Islam and the trouble that brings.

Episode Transcript

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Sir Mr. Lee Kumara to law he will borrow cat two brothers and sisters, your marriage is in trouble. And here's part number seven. It's culture before Islam, you're always thinking about pleasing your culture and upholding the cultural values. And Islam is a secondary thing. This is a major problem in our own, where couples are getting married. And they can tell the difference between what is Islamic in the marriage and what's actually cultural. I know some couples who are changing their names because of cultural influence. Some couples who are going through so much turmoil, so many problems, because they have to live a certain way in the house. One culture that I know of, it

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requires that the woman she lives with her in laws for at least 10 years before they can be on their own. This is actually against asserting that our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam encouraged the companions to live alone. And we all know those of you who are listening to this, that live alone, you know, this, the politics in the marriage, the drama in the marriage, you get to sort these things out, then less and less. third, and fourth party involvement you have when you eliminate distractions, and eliminate others in your marriage, and you just focus on each other, then you can deal with all of the struggles and the problems and work them out. And here's the most important

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thing, when it's just you and your spouse, you can agree to a life that is comfortable for the both of you, without worrying about anyone else. Whatever makes you happy. As long as it's helpful and permissible. That's the way you live, I always say, if the husband and wife is comfortable with just having bread and water every single day, that's fine. That's up to them. I mean, it's not the most healthiest thing to do. But it's certainly up to them. And they don't have to worry about others influencing in their marriage. So brothers and sisters, it's got to be the reverse. You have to have Islam first to govern your marriage. The person who does not have Islam in their marriage, as their

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government, as the the the platform where they make all of their decisions. This marriage is destined for problems. You see, Islam keeps you stable. And it keeps you focused in the sense that when problems happen or struggles happen, you're able to understand what needs attention and what simply needs to be ignored. Because if you pay attention to it, or you magnify it, it ends up becoming a bigger, bigger problem when it really doesn't need to be there. So one prime example like as we mentioned, that we see in so many cultures around the world, his in laws and their involvement in the marriage. And so for the in laws that are listening to this, do yourself a favor, and make

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your your daughter in law, your son in law and make that couple happy by allowing them to grow and make the decisions that they need to make for their own marriage so that they can live comfortably according to their means, according to their abilities. Just take a step back, because the sooner is that once these two are married, they have the ability and they have the strength to make decisions on their own without any interference without anyone's involvement. The couple though they should take advice from people, they should listen to good advice when it's there. But at the end of the day, Allah gives you the responsibility to do what you need to do to uphold religion at the end of

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the day, all too often. So panela, a couple would want to move somewhere or would want to have a certain wedding like a simple wedding. But the culture demands from them that the wedding should be three or four days long, that they should spend all of their life savings and make this huge, massive extravagant celebration, then guess who was left with it at the end of the day, it's the couple 60,000 $70,000 in debt, and they have to spend the next decade of their lives just paying off for that debt. They can't move forward. They can't save up to buy a house, they can't get their own place because they're drowning in debt. Don't do that to yourself. And the in laws don't enforce

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this on these children. Allow them to learn responsibility on their own with your advice with your guidance at the end of the day. wama Eileen in del Bella has Allah subhanho wa Taala says, at the end of the day, all we can do is simply give the message and teach and advise and at the end of the day, they are left with a lie so a gel and so brothers and sisters culturalism if it's not controlled, it really destroys the marriage. It destroys everything. Our ideas

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identity. And remember that Allah subhanho wa Taala never sent down culture or never sent down the poor and to destroy cultures, cultures is a good thing, a less than down the poor and to control our culture, to give it rules to give it parameters and regulation. So once we stay within those parameters, then Bismillahi tyla a marriage can flourish with Islam and with its cultural traits in sha Allah hotelera Allah, may Allah subhanho wa Taala make it easy for all of us with said Mr. Li Kumara to Lahore barakato