Youth Series – Part 01
Channel: Muhammad West
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Relying on rajim Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu salam ala Sayyidina Muhammad wa early wasabia Jermaine, our beloved brothers and sisters in Islam Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil aalameen All Praise to Allah subhana wa tada and Allah Allah Allah Allah we bear witness that no one has the right to be worshipped besides our last panel data. And we ask Allah to bless us and have mercy on us in this world of Juma Allah guide us in what we say today may Allah except the doors that we make May Allah grant this you might be a cafaro a forgiveness for all the sins, the mistakes the things we've said, done, thought all
the harm we've done this week mela, wash it away. As we sit here in this walk of Juma and we send our love greetings and salutations our beloved Nabi Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam to spice in pure family, to his companions and all those who follow his student until the end of time. May Allah bless us to be steadfast in the student of Nabil Mohammed solos are loving the dunya. And let's be in his companionship in the earth here. I mean, what hamdulillah Hamdulillah, as we know, June is youth month. And voila, it is one of the areas of those of you who were listening to the President speak last night. One of the big areas of concern for us as a oma and more specifically for us as a
nation is the capital the situation with regards to our youth, some very, very disturbing numbers, some disturbing things to think about. And the crisis really at which we are standing at this point in time. Our youth situation is nothing short of a crisis. And I said this many times, that if you have a young son or daughter, youth, usually it's from the age of when they moved away from being children. In Islam, we don't have this concept of, of adolescent, you're not in between you, you you are a child, and then you become an adult, you're responsible. And so when we talk about youth, we're talking about those adults from when they become McAuliffe until about 35 years old. So if you
within that bracket, you still youth and some uncles might say I'm in my 60s when I solidified myself as youth, what hamdulillah but if you look at what we what the current situation that we have as a country, if you have a young son or daughter in that bracket, that is a practicing Muslim to the base of the ability to make the Salah they're not indulging in major haram will come around but of the major sins. They have their life sort of in order they studying are they working Alhamdulillah should be very grateful that you have a very good comparison compared to what's out there. You have a very good son or daughter, you've been blessed a lot Samantha has blessed you. And
for those youngsters in the youth who avoids the major sins and performs the Salah, the only thing that's really required data is appropriately is obedient to the parents looks after the work the studies. It is as if though in the climate we live in earlier of the valleys of the earlier alarm Allah bless our youth, Allah bless us, I mean, but we have some serious problems to deal with in this country with regards to youth. If we think about two years ago, why is Youth Day wise, may wise June the youth month because of the uprisings our the young people some of you mean 40 years ago was before my time span a lot. Some of you were that youth, you were those young people that stood up
and actually change a system, you brought a system to an end, you know, you started one of the major movements in bringing the change to a system like a party to its knees was the youth. I mean young people 40 years ago, change the country. Young people a few years ago change many countries in the Middle East. Of course, things haven't gone the way we thought it would be. But young people really change the world and they have this ability to change the world. That's why Allah subhana wa tada will always love a young person and give Baraka to a young person, more so than the old person, the old man that comes to the masjid five times a day clean America very good. But the young person that
comes regularly to the magic, if not five times a day is a higher caliber, because it's much more difficult. So with the youth comes as a PSA and this ability to change, yet we look at our youth in South Africa. And it's actually a a sore point. It is something that we talk about negatively, that if we look at in the last 25 years, how many of those of us who are in that bracket of 15 to 35. Will most of us were born either out of apartheid or towards the end of apartheid. caught us Yes, apart these legacies, they will be there for a long time. But we call this so many opportunities that have gone missing. The youth inequality did more. And were more successful than the young
people that are now coming up in the land of opportunity. Just some numbers that will shock you something that we you know, you have heard in the President's speech, that of all the kids that start in grade one, only 50% of them will actually matriculate, meaning within that schooling. Half of kids leave schooling half. Now, if you don't have a metric. You're basically I don't speak about our uncles and Auntie's at work, you know. 56
Two years ago, that was a different time. But in today's day and age, if you don't have a material you illiterate, you're uneducated, you know, you will not use vanilla, you're virtually unemployable you have no skills. So you have 50% of those who start school don't finish school. And of those who start those who finish, a very small percentage goes on to study goes on to not only study in the university, but they get a a tertiary qualification. Half of these people are unemployed. So you have 50% plus of our country, sitting at home doing nothing. And this is the, this is the strength. These are the people that drive the country forward, this group of 15 to 34 other people that really
is the backbone of any country, any country that moves forward, any group that wants to move forward, you have to have highly motivated young people. And we have as a country, we have more than half of them sitting at home, doing nothing panela, two thirds of them will live in poverty, and they will remain in poverty.
80% of our women did an analysis 80% of our kids do not read and write on the level that is required. So Africa consistently is at the bottom, in terms of literacy and numeracy, countries that are very poor, much poorer than us has far biggest issues. The kids are doing better than our kids, subjects like maths and English, which is vital for any any form of profession. Our kids, our kids, my kids, your kids, some of us who are youth us are not where we should be in terms of global standards. And we live in a world where we're competing with the rest of the world. Kids in South Africa are competing with kids in China and India and America, and SubhanAllah. We are not, we could
say even average, we at the bottom, the lower end. Some of those numbers, the only countries who are beating in terms of doing better in terms of numeracy in terms of job creation, the only countries who are beating our countries like Syria, Afghanistan, countries that have been through war, that's how bad our numbers are. So serious problem.
serious problem. And then above that, we of course have these extra social, extraordinary social ills we have in South Africa, violent crime statistic that said, half of young people that die if people die between the age of 15 and 40, basically, half of them that Die, die of non natural causes violence, substance abuse, Panama, so we are losing 1000s, hundreds 10s of 1000s of young people through avoidable causes. Each child, Allah subhanho wa Taala, every single person we come to know Allah sees, created on the fitrah, created pure, created with ability are honored. And Allah says I honored every single child of item, every single offspring, every child that we have is special. And
then we take them and Subhanallah What do we do, as a result, something is wrong with the way in which we are raising our kids.
So this is something that we have as a country as a crisis. So who do we blame? Where do we start looking at the problem? Perhaps one of the areas a statistic that I saw was, you know, about a week ago, someone came in expert on this and spoke about it a problem that South Africa has, and the cause of perhaps why our youth Best of the worst in the world. Why our youth score below the rest of the world? Why are we youth, so unskilled, so unmotivated?
The problem lies with the parents, or the lack of parents. They did a survey where they looked at countries.
And they looked at how many parents you have in your life. So there are kids that grow up with a mom and a dad. There are kids that grow up with one Father, one mother, there are kids that grew up with no parents grew up with, of course, they have parents biologically, but they have no guardians in terms of parents looking after them. And in a survey of, I think, 50 countries, South Africa is right at the bottom.
Only $56 into this Think about this. Only 36% of the kids in our country in South Africa, know about having a mother and a father in the house. Only 36%. About 50% of the kids in South Africa have only one parent, and the majority would be a single mom, meaning we have a crisis of missing fathers. The problem if you were to really put your finger on it, other dads last week, we know Youth Day and Father's Day coincided only as to give a wonderful Hooda about debts. And this is the problem. They are no good male role models for many, many of our kids, either the father is completely absent, don't know where he is, or isn't interested. I know where he is, but it doesn't really impact my
It is they he doesn't show a good example from a dean. We do need a perspective.
Maybe Subhanallah if he's the financially emotions are the end we know what the rise of divorce 50% of marriages don't work out my law protect us. It's so easy.
Easy for fathers to walk away, that they're not involved in kids lives. Now when a child grows up, I mean, even more scary than that 20% of the kids don't have a mother or father being raised by Google's grandparents. Dangerous, what do we expect is going to happen? It's a time bomb. It is a time bomb, we will not give an Allah did not give this country the worst of the lot when he put the youth in the different countries he gave. So Africa rejects No, our kids are just as smart as just as able, as the kids in China, America, whatever it might be. But then we take them and we mix them up. Unfortunately, the problem lies in our parenting, our schooling, leaders, we are at fault here.
And it's not just a financial thing. It's not just a money thing, with much bigger issues to discuss.
So this is one of the areas that is very, very scary.
Britain did a study, they called it the longest study in the history of Britain, what they would do is they would take a sample of young kids are born under 200,000 kids, or born the same time, and they track their lives, rich, poor, different backgrounds, and they track the lives of 20 3040 years, see what thing who became some of them became successful, some failed, some live long, some died some diseases, and they looked at the lives they try to think, well, if we wanted to put down what are the key ingredients for success in your life, we take a newborn baby, what things must we give this child so this child will succeed in life, the number one thing, the number one factor that
will bring about success. This study has proven the longest study in Britain from World War Two until now they're doing the study 1000s of people they surveyed, the things that make most kids that are successful, is that they have good parents in their life. That's the number one thing you can have. You can come from a poor family poverty, poverty, of course is negative. If you come from a poor family, chances are it'll be very difficult for you to get into a good school difficult to be University, your cycle of poverty. But you can break that cycle. If you have good a good upbringing and upbringing means parents will talk about what is a good parent doesn't mean that's the crux of
output. But today, my Joomla ability to use Joomla. But most of the faces here Hamdulillah, a working people uncle's and most of you are dads, I don't see too many kids here. So for you, for me, I'm a father as well, it's scary. That my kids, my child, my children might be this in this negative statistic. drop out of school, substance abuse by law, protect them, Allah protect us.
We can only do so much yes as parents. But by and large, we as a country are failing. So this study proved that if you bring your children up in a certain way, no matter how many things are going against them, you can break the cycle of poverty, they can come out of it, your kids can go further. And they looked at certain things like they see
parents that lead to the kids, the children are five, and they read to them daily, those children in the 30s had higher qualifications. Think about that, just by reading half an hour a day to our kids at the age of five. And they said by the age of 10, when in primary school, taking an interest in the work, but don't do the work for them. But know what they're doing. Let me see your report card. Have you done your homework just by doing these things? When those kids are 30. Many of them were successful.
The steps we do now will impact the outcome of our kids long term.
They said For example, one of the key focus is having a constant open dialogue with your kids, pets, children, it was successful. We asked them how did you get here? Many of the most of the mistakes are always the odd one out. But the majority of people that are successful, they will tell you we had a big influence from our parents and many of you Yeah, hamdulillah you've qualified your professional people. You are above average, the modest budget as you're sitting here, you will all tell me you had a positive influence in your upbringing from a father, a mother both a pain and suddenly along the line. You came from a good environment, majority of us, all of us we stand here
with that. And that's what the study is proving.
Now, if the most important factor in a child's upbringing, or child's success is the parents that raised them, how do we what do we expect when 70% of our kids in this country? Don't have two parents 70% Is there any reason why it's not it's really not a shock that 50% of these kids will not go on to amount to much they won't achieve anything.
They they in that lies really the problem. So really parenting is the ingredient for success and we don't need fancy studies. We don't need scientists to tell us this. We don't need stats essay to tell us this. A lot of us in the Quran.
We know the story of surah Kahf Nabi Musa and ceram they are on a journey. Now the moose is learning from either the things he did not know and he meets the French
He meets the people on the boat, he meets the boy whenever you see the kills, different times different discussion. But the last situation, they come to a city, a town. And these towns people were really terrible people. I mean, they were bad, they didn't even give them a glass of water to ambia of Allah to have the closest people to Allah not the same to our enemy pocket. They're asking just give us a glass of water, a piece of bread. And these people just get lost, don't want to see babies go go leave our city. And so as they obviously clearly frustrated and angry that they leave the city and
Islam as he puts up the city, he sees this wall about to collapse. And he starts fixing it. And it Moosa is really frustrated, he's tired, he's hungry, and he says, passingly Why you can ask these people some at least asked him for money, you fixing the wall or asking for payment. And so he that explains why he's doing this. And he says, As for the wall, why I'm fixed, why fix the wall, it belonged to two orphan boys in the city. And there was beneath it, a treasure for them. Under this wall is some money that can be left banks. So you have to hide your money under this wall, this money. And the father was a good man.
The father was a righteous man, sorry, the father was sorry, he was a good man. So your Lord intended that they should reach when they become mature, that they should extract the stranger as a mercy from your Lord. Yeah, we see Subhan Allah.
Allah is saying, the reason why he is bringing financial success to these kids is because they had a good father, the father, they are orphans, meaning the father died. The father wasn't really in their life, even before you know, the whole life. He died early. But he was a good man, you may do all for them. In fact, it just shows you the kind of man he was, he puts a treasure aside for my kids one day, I can't be the he's thought about when they grow up, I want to leave something for them. This was a good dad. And so Allah says, I will look after these children alive standing you and me that if we want success in our kid's life, we should be the first step comes from us. Because
Allah has given us kids that are pure, that are sinless, that have full potential that are clean slate, yet we are the problems. And similarly, anyone here that is successful or hungry is You've worked hard. Anyone here that has move forward in life, if you don't realize it, many times the success in our life isn't because of us. Because we had a good father or mother. They maybe couldn't help us with our studies. They couldn't sit with books, we maybe we further them academically, but they do is are the things that got us through wasn't our smarts wasn't us sitting there doing exams or working hard in the world in my office.
The financial blessings in these kids life came because they had a pious good father. So Allah is saying, one of the ingredients for success in the kids is through the parents. And the opposite is true as well. But if the parents fail, that failure has a knock on effect on kids to come. It has a knock on effect. And of course, parents will win. That's what Allah says as soon. As she has seen said last week, Allah says to you and me, especially the mean, your kids are fitna. For us, we have a special questioning on piano. If you have all your ducks in a row with terms of your personal life, if you fail your kids, those kids will testify against you and me and that FTM the failures
will be blamed on us. And some people might be legitimate, we have to answer we will be what did we do? So we in South Africa have a problem with dads, really, the problem lies with our dads, and I get calls for Hannah so many calls. Sisters, Chef, my husband has left me Are we all good luck, it's inevitable, it happens. I can't do anything about it. But now that he's gone, he's completely absent from a financial aspect, let alone the emotional aspect in the kid's life. You can divorce your wife, you can divorce your English, you can divorce your children. And in fact that financial responsibility of your children will remain your financial responsibility until they're old enough
to care for themselves. Your daughter's for example, until she gets married. She will be you're financially responsible, even if the kids don't speak to you anymore. Even if the kids don't do they duty towards you as a parent, it's an amount of responsibility. You don't pay the rent, you don't pay the electricity. You don't pay your bills. When you feel like it. You pay it because you have to do it. And that's behind the law. So many debts are absent and it's a financial but that's the easy part. Being involved in the kids lives being physically present. growing them, nurturing them teaching them that is sadly sadly very absent. I look at the young men sadly
it's very sad for me when you speak to 18 1920 year olds and you ask them because they want to get married Mashallah fantastic. Tell me about your goals, your ambitions, your dreams. don't have anything really. We'll see.
To see how it goes, no dreams, no ambitions. We are our main. We are the main you go to Islamic clauses even secular classes you find the girls are studious studying working on is there are exceptions we have Mashallah very good good youngsters, but they are the minority. We are our main. We are the young men of this map of this nation. So it's a it's a bad, you know, situation and the numbers yesterday we saw the president confirmed it. It confirms statistic after statistic. The problem lies in our main
we have to step up and it's time bombs vanilla, it's getting worse. What will that generation be the generation that didn't grow up with a father or mother doesn't have any education? What are you alter your options when you at the age of 3035 you married you have your own kids now? What's going to happen? It's going to become worse in the next generation. So that responsibility is very, very big. And this is confirmed in a Hadith of the Prophet Moses is agreed upon by Bukhari Muslim the Prophet says every child is born in the state of fitrah meaning Allah has given each and every one of us a pie a pure child. There are no rejects. No rejects.
These children came from Allah from his side perfect.
But the parents process yo yo we Danny made them Jews, Christians, fire worshippers Muslims made them studious made them lazy. Yes, of course, everyone ultimately will take their own sins. But the parents had a major influence the prophecy As parents, we are the ones that have a major influence in how our kids turn out. So that responsibility is real, and more so on deaths. So how do we be a great parent? That's the question and what guidance Do we have so long as you gave some guidances and I want to take in Charles opportunity to mention I was while I was doing the Office of the work yesterday, managers Yes, I have to say after work yesterday, one of my colleagues is the only one in
the Quran that we can really look up as a great dad and he's a super dad in the Quran. We'll talk about inshallah, what made him a super dad, so only as he mentioned last week, one of the things if you look at the MBR the Olia Allah confirms this in the Quran as well, that one of the things good parents do is they make Dr. Khan constantly for the kids for the family, even before they are born, you find a brownie making dua is only some use old man when he got an obese value, but he's making the art from basically from when he's married. Maybe zecharia is standing in a robe. All he's asking for is a good pious child. They're making the art before they're born even.
Allah mentioned we did save this from the Ivangorod man. The special people the special servants of Allah one category of them is the ones that was what do they do? They make a dua all they do is they make this do out what do they do? But I've been I have been an admin as well Gina. Gina kurata, angiogenin Tina mama many they consistently continuously daily, every seller that make this to Allah, late Mr. Grant me from my family, my wives, my husband's if you're the wife, and my children to be the coolness of my eyes, and let us be leaders in meaning. It isn't just be good people It has been of the best people that make this continuously. You can make this to our you know, it's a good
time. Try to I speak to myself as inculcate this make this to all of the before you said Solomonic masala make this to a higher it's time to make dua make this do it live everyone just try making this door. Yeah, Allah lit our kids, my wife, my children in my family, be the coolest may they be good in this dunya and after basic this will be asked, is thicker also in this corner of the iron. One of the Deaf seeds of this
means those The eyes are fixed on the coolness of the eyes also means that they not only bring me happiness, it means I'm always watching over them, let me always be in their life with me always be present in their life. And if Allah says He rewards them for the suffering, why suffer? What does this got to do with suffer? Meaning it's a constant, a job of a dad and a mom. There's no live public holidays, no sick days, even vanilla, especially for the moms that no sick days. When you're sick, you still on the job. It requires patience, you have a delivery time you can set a switch off as a dad, you know, I just needed time, not to think not to worry not to be involved. Allah says
that's why he wants you to be patient, because you're constantly involved in the upbringing of these children. So make dua before you have kids make dua for those of you who are not married. Those of you who are you know looking to have kids make dua already now, Allah blessed me with pious kids when you have kids of course we have to and of course continue as they grow up no matter how old they are. They do have the pain is always Mr. Jeff monessen gave examples of very excellent example. There are six today's manohara How did you become the amount of hero So should I became the Imam because I was a very naughty child. What do you mean? Very, very naughty and every time I'm
would be frustrated with me she would say, You're so naughty, I'll make you the amount of harm one day. And she used to make dua for every time he was naughty hurt you, if we will be the amount of money you'll be the means on YouTube, you can check it Subhanallah if if a child is very naughty, make a good dog every time they do something naughty. That is the reason why we said and this comes we know it goes without saying lead by example, kids will follow in our footsteps. If we want our kids, we look at our kids and we're not happy with who they are. From a dean perspective, from a dunya perspective, they're not reading enough. They're not, you know, in the masjid enough, it
begins with us, begins with us everything we want in our kids, we need to start doing it and maybe Subhanallah it's out of our comfort zone. We want that. So we need to lead we want them to be involved in certain things, we need to get involved the opinions behind a lot of opportunity, for example,
but they want their kids to recite Quran and admire those dads who themselves they will come with the kids and say, just as you started reciting Quran, Allah what I'm also going to decide with the manquillo head, we will learn together.
There was a dead from in Australia from Pakistan. He his kids were not in like, you know, the, you know, being in a vicious cycle moving away from Islam. So he said, Let us learn. It's pointless me telling you learn, listen to all these bayanzurkh lectures, let us read and study the Quran together and discuss it together. And he said, at the end of the journey, yes, he's benefited. But then they also obviously Alhamdulillah came back towards him. He said, make a deal with me, I will support you in whatever you want. But let us go through this journey together. You realize it's not something as a parent, I can tell you do this, and I don't fulfill that. Announcements, okay.
Right, so we're talking about leading by example. And lead with affection and love. Allah describes this to the ambia. He tells the MBR that when you look after you guide guide with love first, your kids need to know you love them. And you know what's amazing about love. Now we understand this with other relationships. You know, you can tell your wife that you get and obviously when you get married, you say this,
sweetie, I love you. And I'm not going to say this again, when this if it changes I will let you know for now that's the default. I don't need to tell you every day as I'm going to work. In fact, even Allah subhanaw taala we cannot tell Allah, that we we worship you, we love you. And when that changes, I will let you know No, we have to express that love daily five times a day. express that a man because y'all I believe in you. And that's it. No, you need to express that continuously you need to show it continuously. And this vinyl is a vital requirement. We have scientific studies that prove this now. Now in the past, you might have dads that never said I love you to anyone but not
even to maybe to the mom, I love you mommy, but never to the wife, the kids, they would never hear these things because that's the dad you know, later and that's a dad that's pleasing the dads that have never even they but today we know that it is vital for the success of an individual to feel to know to be shown the love of the parents and the professor's alum showed the so many times kissing his his grandkids his own kids, you know that are be so solemn, a few months before he died. Now he's in his 60s, Fatima, his baby his daughter, she's in such a big girl big lady, and I should say is the province of social agencies. Fatima comes into the house and the professor gets up from his
chair and he says come my duty like a blanket younger. Can you sit here? Is that
the kind of way he expresses his love to his kids will the law Hadeeth so many hobbies than a businessman was making scheduled for so long. Once a hobby says I got up and look at what's going on. Why is the vision taking so long to shoot and I saw Hassan is back riding him riding and I was like oh, this is fun. sada is one of it that my sunblock got on my back panel, I don't know, I throw him off and you get upset with me. We are with vanilla. And when he said to the Sahaba I didn't want to disturb Hudson's play Hudson was playing on my back and I wanted him to finish playing and then I gotta shut up for now showing that level of love. Do we do that we don't do it enough. Now, again,
you we're gonna have to give our kids bad news. Sometimes we're going to tell him the other things that they can't do. They don't want things that are not nice. As leaders, as teachers, as managers, as whatever we are. We obviously lead this is our understanding of leadership. You lead with love, I care about you, I want what's best for you. And then when I tell you the things you don't want to hear, you know, it's coming from a place of love. It will not work. Allah says to the promises of them.
It is by the mercy of Allah, that you are affectionate to them. But if you were fundamentally if you were stern apart, they would have left you ever Buckaroo would have left you they wouldn't have listened to what you said. It must come from a place of love. And they kids our kids should be safe and secure in that I should say is when all when Allah wills good for the members of a household when Allah wants good for the family. He instills in them affection that they are good to one another and again, he
begins with the debts begins with the debts. So we're talking about the super debt of the Quran. And the super debt of the Quran is the man that you hear so many times the Father, the children of Israel, in the children of Israel in Israel in the country in the Middle East, Israel is nebbia hooba. Nabil Abu salam, the grandson of Nabil Brahim, father in abuse of
the MBR. When Allah speaks about them, he speaks about the challenges with the people. He speaks about the teaching Tao NaVi Ebrahim Avenue. When Allah speaks about NaVi Yaqoob, you almost don't see an abbey, you see a father, you just see a dead speaking to his kids. And Allah subhanho wa Taala is showing from this man, what it means to be a great debt, and so much so that all the ambia they didn't say the children of Ibrahim, the offspring of his heart, this is the offspring of all of them. bunnies are ill, we are the sons of Israel of Yaqoob because he's a super dead and we don't you know, Allah subhanaw taala doesn't tell us a list of lessons, you need to extract it yet and
they and we look at his dialogue with his sons. So of the things that mean we said last week, we add on to those lessons. Number one, be present. The first thing we have no idea who is talking to his son use of young boy and abusive says, Call the use of flee or be here at all, my dear father now as a young boy, I saw in my dream I saw in my sleep 10 Ashura, coca 11 stars and the moon and I saw the making to do to me, you can see it's the dialogue of a child, I showed him making sure I saw them, you know, he's almost stumbling over his words. And now he will be sitting and listening. He's got 12 other sons, we don't know if he's got 12 sons in total, with nominee daughters. How many wives is
an abbey of Allah is teaching, he's got all these. He's a busy man busier than you and me, well, ah, he's busier than you and me. But he's listening to his young, six, seven year old child, and this child is telling my dreams. Now the fact that this child felt so open and confident to speak about his dreams to his father.
And he felt so in the first person want to tell his daddy, it's something special? Because do our kids do that with us? Do they feel open to speak about the dreams? The fears, the hopes, the desires? The problems? Do they feel confident enough? You see, the first thing that comes he's a bit disturbed by the dream, he goes to his dad's. So do we have regular conversations that study that Britain did the longest study? They said, Of the six factors, make, you know conversation time everyday with your kids, every child have like 15 minutes, have a chat with him. But telling them what to do what not to do not shouting at them. Just what you hear what's on their mind. Make time
for them to read and make time to have a conversation with them. So have regular conversations. And if you can't answer these questions, what are your kids interested in? What are they watching? Who are the Friends of into sports? Are they into games? What is the interest? What are the goals? He's talking about goals and dreams? Like this is an actual dream? What about the dreams in the future? If we don't know that we don't have a relationship with our kids. You see nebbia who is present. He knows all of his kids. And you will come in to say something to abusive about your brothers. Don't say this to your brothers, because he knew them as well. He had an intimate relationship with all of
them. When the vehicle makes you feel very special, and every parent needs to make every child and here's some handler you have some kids that do well, naturally. You have kids that vanilla at 30 years old gonna be worried Are they still gonna be at home playing games, it's reality, but each one needs to be made made to feel special. That's your job as a parent, if we give up on our kids as parents, then the world is going to be a much more harsher place to them. Yes, we can't also sugarcoat reality, just as much as we give the medicine we need to also advise and make them feel special. abeokuta is basically the system that we use, that this is how Allah has chosen you have
the seat of this is that we are saying it that Allah has chosen you is made us special meaning you'll be an AVI and through you Allah is going to favor you and also entire family.
As he had favored NaVi Brahim before you are a special young boy. At seven years old. Now we will be saying you will grow up to be a great man. And we know besides being an Abbe number, you will grow up to save millions of lives, becomes an accountant basically finance the finance minister of Egypt and through his policies. He has the confidence to say he's the king of Egypt while he's in jail. He says I can do the job better than anyone else. Without praising me I can I know what I'm doing and he saves an entire civilization. He had that confidence from his dad his dad told him as a young boy you will grow up to be someone great. And you will be in great honor to this family with many great
people like your grandfather Ibrahim, you will be like him. Now Subhanallah nothing wrong to say these things to our kids. Nothing wrong with them. We do this and you would give them make it every Sahabi felt I was the special Sahabi we know that famous had eaten last would you love the most must be me, because everyone felt number one. So every child should
I am, I am daddy's favorite. And I am the special one, everyone should feel that way. And they should work towards it. Then, of course, it's not just about love, and he needs to be sound advice. There needs to be some guidance. You know, we've been in life, we've had 3040 years of experience over them, we've seen it, we know what life is like. And therefore our job is to impart that wisdom as the NBA, we're only doing the work of the NBA with our kids, we impart that guidance. So here we see an example of this in abeokuta.
Now, we are coupe sons, 11 of them who 10 of them, they are going to Egypt. And they need to and they going to be in a sort of a different difficulty. Now, these are big guys, they are like in the 30s 40s. They are big men, they've already they have children. And he already has a father, he tells them, oh my sons don't enter the city from one gate, but in different different gates. Why I don't want you a gang of 10 young men walking into a city might attract negative attention, they might already the police might ask you what's happening, you know, so he says, Don't make a spectacle of yourself go from different Gates is really is giving them even as old as they are. He's already
giving them wisdom. He's advising them always, you know, sometimes we should listen to the advice of our grandmothers, our fathers, you know, they might not know what it is in a corporate world or, you know, they never work in these kind of environments, but swallow these wisdom in that advice. Now to the kids of Yahoo, they thought that is madness. 10 of us we all know each go to the front gate, this means nothing. And Allah says in the next ayah nebbia Cooper's given great wisdom, he knew what he understood things that you don't understand. You understood people. So As parents, we give advice doesn't mean they can take that they will always take the advice but we always give them look at
this hadith the Prophet says this is the base blessing or the base gift a father can give his children is to teach them good manners.
You take away one half of this whole lecture, take this Heidi,
you cannot give your kids good manners. If you don't have it. You cannot ask your kids to speak nicely to their friends. When you're shouting at the mother.
You can't ask your kids to be punctual on salah and you neglect to be honest and you dishonest in your business can't happen to be diligent in class. When you don't work properly at work. Respect your teachers when you don't respect the people around you. They will learn from what they see. Think this Heidi, our kids are for the most part a reflection of us.
Number seven, Nana via coops kids, they missed up time and time again. Many, many times. In fact, there's you know, they through an abusive Noel. Last time he trusted him to do something, he gave them the call, they catch the call that he gave him the night out, they messed up. Now, they said we've changed, you want to be better. And we may see leaders go once again, give us another opportunity now via coop fields. I'm not I'm not comfortable. But they insisted. And so he says Fine, I'll trust you. But he said, Never what I send with you, your brother, your younger brother until you give me a suape says sumava Allah swear by Allah, that you will bring him back to me,
promise me you'll be in by 10 o'clock. Promise me if I give you the car, you're not going to speed promised me if you go to your friend's house, you'll be the we have to give, we have to give a bit of leeway. Also, we have to give them a chance to grow up. And if they say so even though I said these kids, they lost one brother already who gave him use, they lost him. Now they say give me the next brother years have passed by 20 years or so. We are not we promised we're going to be good this time. And he trusted him. He gave him a second chance. Part of the training. Some parents are overly controlling. And so behind Allah, even when they get married, you want to control those sons. Tell
them how they should be a part of you know, you raise them up to let them go. Let them go prepare them to the best of your ability, then you need to give them the trust to go. Some of you have young kids, some of you have teenage kids. I see some people say like nodding yes. Because, you know, obviously if it's a five year old child, don't give them that, you know, you know your kids where they are in life, not all kids. So this applies for different kids, these kids were old now this will be children or maybe they messed up. But are they coming to the dead give us an opportunity. Part of us is part of that Navy. So saddam had this ability in terms of leadership, he would appoint
young leaders, young Sahaba give them very, very, very complicated thoughts because he believed in them. And yes, they will mess up. But how are they going to learn? How are they going to learn otherwise? And when they mess up? Because again, these kids so they had one brother, they must lost him a second brother, they lost him again. So they've messed up. And now they come to the dead and they say our father is still feeling lubaina ask Allah to forgive us and have mercy on us. Indeed we have we were wrong. We committed sin. And so he said, I will ask Allah for you from my lord forgiveness, in ease of forgiving, Most Merciful.
Now many of you I don't know your relationship with your dad or your kids. When you do something wrong. Perhaps the last person you want to inform you that
you would rather tell everyone, anyone, the police even
Let your dad know, when your kids might be the same spatola they would be in the biggest crisis of their life. dangerous stuff. But this is so long as my parents don't know, they might be in an over the head, be in a situation they can't control, but they won't pick up the phone and call the parents, voila. They're our kids, you know, and they will mess up, you will mess up, I will mess up every personal lease up, they must know that at the end of the day, mom and dad have our backs. Yes, they, they will fix it, we might get it, you might get some same thing afterwards. But they're going to first save us from the situation when I'm drowning. I can go to them said I know people very
close that close to me. But I mean, people that take the lives commit suicide because life became too much. They'd never courage to speak to their own parents.
That relationship is built up from years, where they can pick up the phone and say relationships, something's wrong, job, there's something wrong. Whatever big problems in life date, I have a problem. I can pick up the phone and speak to my my parents, if you don't have that is a big, big loss in life. And throughout your life. Many of you are older than me, you know, having a parent even if it's 60 7080, to pick up the phone and just speak to them, even though they can't do much. Besides, it just helps knowing that they're the I've got your back now via cube as I said, these kids were not. I mean, none of you kids are blessed to have the siblings have none of your kids did
that. They lost two of the brothers and this the two brothers, these kids lost two of the brothers and yet they still go to the via coop and say daddy make dua for us. We made we made a mistake. They hurt him the most. And he said I will make dua for you. I'll be there for you. I will stand between you and Allah being allowed to forgive you. They knew the dead was on the side. And when things are down and bad, your parents should always be there and we should always give hope. So when things were so bad for them, now be consistent. Oh my sons. Even though you've lost two brothers go out and look for them. Ask about Yousuf and his brother and don't ever display in relief from Allah. Don't
ever lose hope in Allah subhana wa tada when life is bad, he's telling his kids when you are down you hit rock bottom. The dad tells his sons never lose hope in Allah. It is only Larry assuming rohilla elanco McAfee only to be only a person who has no Eman losers hoping Allah is telling them don't ever give up and be who is the one hurting the most because his sons and he's telling them Don't lose hope keep going in life. But how bad things are, your parents will always be there for you. And they lost sleep. And this is the point no matter how
frustrating it is how tiring it is. I know sometimes we just want some those of us who have young kids, just you know get into the toilet is like a break from from the kids. You know, you can never we can never stop worrying and showing our key and concern for them on his deathbed. On his deathbed a lot of text maybe a coupe right towards the end he's dying he's about to eat a lot.
When you die all you can think about this and I've seen I've seen myself at is this bit Allah says Will you they will never be who was about to die. And what did he say? Ask his sons What are you going to worship off to me? When I go Who will you worship and they said we will worship your Lord the one load the load of our forefathers Ibrahim in his mind and his heart right until he's in these are worried about molecule note. He's not worried about who's worried about these things, gentlemen to meet Allah, but he's worried more my kids what's gonna happen to you after I'm gone? there'll be people one of them is gonna be a VMB of Allah and he still sees them as small children. Tell me my
boys What are you gonna worship after me? We cannot stop caring and showing okay and concern. Even if they don't listen, even if they don't. We can only give advice when the younger years we can have more control. We may get older we can just give advice, give love, give support eviction. Give a good example and just keep making dos I asked Allah to bless you and me, our kids, your kids, my kids melago grow them up to be the coolness of our eyes, and to be in the key and the love of Allah. May Allah grant our youth all the youth of this country to be people that are special that will lead this country in this world forward. When we go we live long and see our kids become truly leaders of
goodness, that we can be proud that parental it's good that the good parent parental pride. Our kids have something special because they are special. Allah help us all of us. I mean, quick notices birthday. As you Fatima, her food wife of letter G has sent her food we'll be celebrating her 96 birthday Mashallah. On the 23rd of June, we ask Allah subhanaw taala to to grant Haji Fatima over strengthen good health. May Allah grant many many more years and Allah subhanaw taala accepted to us and bless her and her family I mean, then I must apologize to my class two weeks in a row I've missed my class both
I didn't realize that we had we had there was a traffic issue. So but inshallah Monday six o'clock our class will resume in sha Allah and we've sold work on the back to basics when the WhatsApp goes out to go out inshallah chicken so much salaam aleikum rural America.