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Youth Khutbah 1

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Muhammad West

Channel: Muhammad West

Series:

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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How to rely on a sheet on rajim Bismillah R Rahman Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salatu salam ala Sayyidina Muhammad wa ala early he was such a big man, my beloved brothers and sisters in Islam Salaam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen all Praise to Allah subhanaw taala and I said to Allah Ilaha illa Allah We bear witness that none has the right to be worshipped besides Allah subhanaw taala and we ask Allah to bless us and have mercy on us in this work of Jamar May Allah guide us in what we say today might Allah except the two hours that we make May Allah granted this tomorrow, Bianca Farah, a forgiveness for all the sins the mistakes the

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things we've said done, thought all the Haram we've done this week May Allah wash it away as we sit here in this world of Joomla and we send our love greetings and salutations so beloved Nabina Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, to his pious and pure family to his companions and all those who follow his sunnah until the end of time. May Allah bless us to be steadfast in the Sunnah of Nabina Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam in the dunya. And as be in his companionship in the akhira mean when hamdulillah Al Hamdulillah, as we know, June is youth month. And subhanAllah. It is one of the areas of those of you who were listening to the President speak last night, one of the big areas of

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concern for us as a OMA and more specifically for us as a nation is the color the situation with regards to our youth, some very, very disturbing numbers, some disturbing things to think about a crisis really at which we are standing at at this point in time. Our youth situation is nothing short of a crisis. And I see this many times that if you have a young son or daughter, we need to what youth usually it's from the age of when they moved away from being children. In Islam, we don't have this concept of an adolescent, you're not in between you, you are a child. And then you become macula. When you're an adult, you're responsible. And so when we talk about youth, we're talking

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about those adults from when they become McAuliffe until about 35 years old. So if you within that bracket, you still youth and then some uncles might say I'm in my 60s, but I still regard myself as youth. Well Hamdulillah. But if you look at what we what the current situation that we have as a country, if you have a young son or daughter in that bracket, that is a practicing Muslim to the best of their ability they make their Salah they're not indulging in major haram will come with haram but all of the major sins, they have their life sort of in order they studying or they're working Alhamdulillah should be very grateful that you have a very good comparison compared to

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what's out there. You have a very good son or daughter you've been blessed Allah, Allah has blessed you. And for those youngsters in the youth, who avoids the major sins and performance, the Salah, the only thing that's really required tasers appropriately is obedient to the parents looks after their work the studies. It is as if though in the climate we live in earlier of the valleys of the only of Allah may Allah bless our youth, Allah bless us, I mean, but we have some serious problems to deal with in this country with regards to youth. If we think about 40 years ago, why is Youth Day wise, may wise June the youth month because of the uprisings, our the young people, some of you, I

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mean, 40 years ago was before my time Subhanallah some of you were that youth, you were those young people that stood up and actually changed a system, you brought a system to an end, you know, you started, one of the major movements in bringing the change to a system like a party to its knees was the youth. I mean young people 40 years ago, change the country. Young people a few years ago, change many countries in the Middle East. Of course, things haven't gone the way we thought we'd hoped it would be. But young people really changed the world, and they have this ability to change the world. That's why Allah subhanaw taala will always love a young person and give baraka to a

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young person, more so than the old person, the old man that comes to the masjid five times a day clean America very good. But the young person that comes regularly to the Imagine, if not five times a day, there's a higher caliber, because it's much more difficult. So what the youth comes as is, and this ability to change, yet we look at our youth in South Africa. And it's actually a a sore point. It is something that we talk about negatively, that if we look at in the last 25 years, so many of those of us who are in that bracket of 15 to 35 will most of us were born either out of apartheid or towards the end of apartheid, caught us Yes, apartheid legacies they and will be there

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for a long time. But we call this so many opportunities that have gone missing. The youth in apartheid did more. And were more successful than the young people that are now coming up in the land of opportunity. Just some numbers that will shock you something that we you know, you have heard in the President's speech, that of all the kids that start in grade one, only 50% of them will actually matriculate, meaning within that schooling. Half of kids leave schooling half. Now if you don't have a matric you're basically I don't speak about our uncles and aunties that were you know, 56

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Two years ago, that was a different time. But in today's day and age, if you don't have a material you illiterate, you're uneducated, you know, you will not use vanilla, you're virtually unemployable, you have no skills. So you have 50% of those who start school don't finish school. And those who start those who finish, a very small percentage goes on to study goes on to not only study in the university, but they get a tertiary qualification. Half of these people are unemployed. So you have 50% plus of our country sitting at home doing nothing. And this is the IZA. This is the strength these are the people that drive the country forward. This group of 18 to 34 are the people

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that really, as the backbone of any country, any country that moves forward, any group that wants to move forward, you have to have highly motivated young people. And we have as a country, we have more than half of them sitting at home, doing nothing panela two thirds of them will live in poverty, and they will remain in poverty

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80% of our when they did an analysis 80% of our kids do not read and write on the level that is required. So Africa really consistently is at the bottom, in terms of literacy and numeracy, countries that are very poor, much poorer than us has far biggest issues. The kids are doing better than our kids, subjects like maths and English, which is vital for any any form of profession. Our kids, our kids, my kids, your kids, some of us who are youth us are not where we should be in terms of global standards. And we live in a world where we're competing with the rest of the world. Kids in South Africa competing with kids in China and India and America, And subhanAllah we are not we

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could say even average, we at the bottom at the lower end. Some of those numbers, the only countries who are beating in terms of doing better in terms of numeracy in terms of job creation. The only countries who are beating are countries like Syria, Afghanistan, countries that have been through war. That's how bad our numbers are. So serious problem.

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Serious problem. And then above that, we of course have these extra social, extra ordinary social ills we have in South Africa, violent crime statistic that said, half of young people that die if people die between the age of 15 and 40, basically, half of them that die, die of non natural causes violent death, substance abuse, Panama, so we're losing 1000s, hundreds 10s of 1000s of young people through avoidable causes. Each child, Allah subhanaw taala, every single person we come to know Allah says, created on the fitrah, created pure, created with ability, Allah honored, and Allah says I honored every single child of item, every single offspring, every child that we have is special.

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And then we take them And subhanAllah what do we do, as a result, something is wrong with the way in which we are raising our kids.

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So this is something that we have as a country as a crisis. So who do we blame? Where do we start looking at the problem? Perhaps one of the areas a statistic that I saw was, you know, about a week ago, someone came in expert on this and spoke about it, a problem that South Africa has, and the cause of perhaps why our youth are perhaps of the worst in the world, why our youth score below the rest of the world, why our youth are so unskilled, so unmotivated.

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The problem lies with the parents, or the lack of parents. They did a survey where they looked at countries.

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And they looked at how many parents you have in your life. So there are kids that grow up with a mom and a dad. There are kids that grow up with one father, one mother, there are kids that grew up with no parents grew up with, of course, they have parents biologically, but they have no guardians in terms of parents looking after them. And in a survey of, I think, 50 countries, South Africa is right at the bottom.

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Only 56. Now listen to this, think about this. Only 36% of the kids in our country in South Africa, know about having a mother and a father in the house. Only 36%. About 50% of the kids in South Africa have only one parent, and the majority would be a single mom, meaning we have a crisis of missing fathers. The problem if you were to really put your finger on it, are the dads. Now, last week, we know Youth Day and Father's Day coincided when they asked to give a wonderful football, about dads. And this is the problem. There are no good male role models for many, many of our kids. Either the father is completely absent don't know where he is always uninterested. I know where he

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is, but he doesn't really impact my life.

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If he's there, he doesn't show a good example from a dean. We're dunya perspective.

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Maybe Subhanallah if he's the financially emotions are the and we know with the rise of divorce, 50% of marriages don't work out. May Allah protect us. It's so

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Easy for fathers to walk away, that they're not involved in kids lives. Now when a child grows up, I mean, even more scary than that 20% of the kids don't have a mother or father being raised by gogos. grandparents. Dangerous, what do we expect is going to happen? It's a time bomb. It is a time bomb. We were not given Allah did not give this country the worst of the lot when he put the youth in the different countries he gave. So Africa rejects No, our kids are just as smart as just as able, as the kids in China, America, wherever it might be. But then we take them and we mix them up. Unfortunately, the problem lies in our parenting, our schooling, leaders, we are at fault here. And

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it's not just a financial thing. It's not just a money thing is much bigger issues to discuss.

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So this is one of the areas that is very, very scary.

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Britain did a study, they call it the longest study in the history of Britain, what they would do is they would take a sample of young kids are born under 200,000 Kids, or born the same time, and they track their lives, rich, poor, different backgrounds, and they track the lives of 20 3040 years, see what thing who became some of them became successful, some failed, some live long, some diets or diseases, and they looked at their lives, they try to think, Well, if we wanted to put down what are the key ingredients for success in your life, we take a newborn baby, what things was we give this child so this child will succeed in life, the number one thing, the number one factor that will

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bring about success. This thought the study has proven the longest study in Britain from World War Two until now they're doing the study 1000s of people they surveyed, the things that make most kids that are successful, is that they have good parents in their life. That's the number one thing you can have mean you can come from a poor family poverty, poverty, of course, is negative. If you come from a poor family, chances are to be very difficult for you to get into a good school difficulty in university your cycle of poverty, but you can break that cycle. If you have good a good upbringing and upbringing means parents will talk about what is a good parent, that'll mean that's the crux of

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our food. But today, my Joomla about it's a youth Joomla. But most of the faces Yeah, hamdulillah a working people, uncles, and most of you are dads, I don't see too many kids here. So for you, for me, I'm a father as well, it's scary. That my kids, my child, my children might be this in this negative statistic, drop out of school, substance abuse, by law, protect Allah protect us.

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We can only do so much yes as parents. But by and large, we as a country are failing. So this study proved that if you bring your children up in a certain way, no matter how many things are going against them, you can break the cycle of poverty, they can come out of it, your kids can go further. And they looked at certain things like they said,

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parents that read to the kids, the children of five, and they read to them daily, those children in the 30s had higher qualifications. Think about that, just by reading half an hour a day to our kids at the age of five. And they said by the age of 10, when in primary school, taking an interest in their work, but don't do the work for them. But know what they do. They can see your report card, have you done your homework just by doing these things. When those kids are 30. Many of them were successful.

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The steps we do now will impact the outcome of our kids long term.

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They said for example, one of the key focus is having a constant open dialogue with your kids pay children to be successful. We asked them how did you get here, many of them most of them use they are always the odd one out. But the majority of people that are successful, they will tell you we had a big influence from our parents and many of you here and hamdulillah you've qualified your professional people, you are above average, this Juma this machine as you're sitting here, you will all tell me you had a positive influence in your upbringing from my father, your mother, both a pain and somewhere along the line. You came from a good environment, majority of us, all of us we stand

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here with that. And that's what the study is proving.

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Now, if the most important factor in a child's upbringing, or child's success is the parents that raised them, how do we what do we expect when 70% of our kids in this country? Don't have two parents 70% Is there any reason why it's not it's not a shock that 50% of these kids will not go on to amount to much they won't achieve anything.

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They they in that lies really the problem. So really parenting is the ingredient for success and we don't need fancy studies. We don't need scientists to tell us this. We don't need stats essay to tell us this. Allah told us this in the Quran.

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We know the story of Surah Kahf Nabi Musa and Fidel Salaam. They are on a journey Nabi Musa is learning from either the things he did not know and he meets different

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people he meets the people on the boat, he meets the boy whenever you see the kills, different times different discussion, but the last situation, they come to a city, a town. And these towns people were really terrible people. I mean, they were bad they didn't even give them a glass of water to Ambia of Allah to have the closest people to Allah not a saint to Iran in the pocket. They're asking just give us a glass of water, a piece of bread. And these people just get lost, don't want to see babies go go leave our city. And so as the about the obviously clearly frustrated and angry that they leave the city and federal police as long as you pass up the city, he sees this wall about to

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collapse, and he starts fixing it. And he Musa is really frustrated, he's tired, he's hungry. And he says passingly why you can ask these people who at least asked him for money, you fixing their wall asked him for payment. And so he that explains why he's doing this. And this is best for the wall. Why I'm fixed. Why fix the wall. It belonged to two orphan boys in the city. And there was beneath it a treasure for them. Under this wall is some money. The time didn't have banks. So you had to hide your money under this wall this money. And the father was a good man.

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Thy father was a righteous abou Houma Saudi Ha, the father was Saudi, he was a good man. So your Lord intended that they should reach when they become mature, that they should extract this treasure as a mercy from your Lord. Here we see Subhan Allah,

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Allah is seen, the reason why he is bringing financial success to these kids is because they had a good father. Now the father, they are orphans, meaning they father died, the father wasn't really in their life even before you know, the whole life. He died early. But he was a good man, you make dua for them. In fact, it just shows you the kind of man he was, he put a treasure aside for my kids one day, I can't be the he's thought about when they grow up, I want to leave something for them. This was a good dad. And so Allah says, I will look after these children. Allah is telling you and me. But if we want success in our kid's life, we should be the first step comes from us. Because Allah

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has given us kids that are pure, that are sinless, that our full potential that our clean slate, yet we are the problems. And similarly, anyone here that is successful or hungry that yes, you've worked hard, anyone here that has move forward in life. If you don't realize it, many times the success in our life is not because of us. It's because we had a good father or mother. They maybe couldn't help us with our studies. They couldn't sit with books, we maybe went further than academically, but they do ours are the things that got us through wasn't our smarts wasn't us sitting there doing exams or working hard in the world in the office.

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The financial blessings in these kids life came because they had a pious good father. So Allah is saying, one of the ingredients for success in the kids is through the parents. And the opposite is true as well. But if the parents fail, that failure, it has a knock on effect on kids to come. It has a knock on effect. And of course, parents will witness what Allah says as Simona. As she has seen said last week, Allah says to you and me, especially the mean, your kids, I fitna. For us, we have a special questioning on Qiyamah. If you have all your ducks in a row with terms of your personal life, if you fail your kids, they will kids will testify against you and me and that FTM

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their failures will be blamed on us. And some of it will might be legitimate. We have to answer we will be why did we do?

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So we in South Africa have a problem with dads? Really, the problem lies without dads and I get calls for hunger so many calls. Sisters, Chef, my husband has left me or we argued Talaq is inevitable it happens. Can't do anything about that. But now that he's gone, he's completely absent from a financial aspect, let alone have emotional aspects in the kid's life. You can divorce your wife, you can divorce your in laws, you can't divorce your children. And in fact that financial responsibility of your children will remain your financial responsibility until they're old enough to care for themselves. Your daughter's for example, until she gets married, she will be your

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financial response. So even if the kids don't speak to you anymore, even if the kids don't do their duty towards you as a parent, it's an Amana it's a responsibility. You don't pay the rent, you don't pay the electricity. You don't pay your bills. When you feel like it. You pay it because you have to do it. And that's Subhanallah so many dads are absent and it's the financial part. That's the easy part. Being involved in the kids lives, being physically present, growing them, nurturing them teaching them that is sadly sadly very absent. I look at the young men sadly

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it's very sad for me when you speak to 1819 20 year olds so you ask them because they want to get married mashallah, fantastic. Tell me about your goals, your ambitions, your dreams. Don't have anything really. We'll see

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We'll just see how it goes. No dreams, no ambitions were our main. We are the main you go to Islamic classes even secular classes you find the girls are in studious studying working on is there are exceptions we have mashallah very good good youngsters, but they are the minority. We are our main or we are the young men of this ummah of this nation. So it says that's a bad, you know, situation and the numbers yesterday we saw the President confirmed that it confirmed statistic after statistic. The problem lies in our main

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we have to step up.

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And it's a time bomb Subhanallah it's getting worse. What will that generation be the generation that didn't grow up with a father or a mother doesn't have an education? What are your alter your options when you at the age of 3035 You married you have your own kids now? What's going to happen? It's going to become worse in the next generation. So the responsibility is very, very big. And this is confirmed in a hadith of the Prophet Moses is agreed upon by Bukhari and Muslim the prophets is every child is born in the state of fitrah meaning ALLAH has given each and every one of us a pie a pure child. There are no rejects. No rejects.

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These children came from Allah from his side perfect.

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But the parents process yo yo Madani made them Jews, Christians via worshippers Muslims, made them studious made them lazy. Yes, of course, everyone ultimately will take their own sons. But the parents had a major influence the prophecy are us as parents, we are the ones that have a major influence in how kids turn out. So the responsibility is real. And more so on dads. So how do we be a great parent? That's the question and what guidance do we have so Monet asked and gave some guidances and I want to take in Charles opportunity to mention I was was doing the office of the work yesterday. Managers. Yes, I have to say after work yesterday, one of my colleagues, it is the

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only one in the Quran that we can really look up as a great dad and he's a super dad in the Quran. We'll talk about him in sha Allah. What made him a super dad, so only as he mentioned last week, one of the things if you look at the Gambia, the Olia Allah confirms us in the Quran as well. That one of the things good parents do is they make dua constantly for the kids for the family, even before they are born. You find that bibra e making dua is all about Islam. He was an old man when he got married, but he's making dua from basically from when he's married, that visa Korea is standing in the Murghab. All he's asking for is a good pious child. They're making dua before they are born

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even.

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And Allah mentions we did say this from the Bible Ramadan, the special people the special servants of Allah one category of them is the ones Allah says what do they do? They make the DUA all they do is they make this dua what do they do? I've been I have been an admin as well Gina with Audrey Yeah, Tina Kurata annual Jana and with Athena Imam, meaning they consistently continuously daily every Salah that make this dua Allah let bestow grant me from my family, my wives, my husband's if you're the wife and my children to be the coolness of my eyes, and let us be leaders to them with Turkey in meaning there is not just be good people it has be of the best people that make this dua

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continuously. You can make this to our you know, it's a good time. Try to I speak to myself as inculcate this to make this dua of the before you said Sarah Manik masala in Salah make this to our office here. It's a mobile app time to make dua make this do it. Let everyone just try making this dua. Yeah, Allah let our kids my wife, my children and my family be the coolest may they be good in this dunya and akhira. Basically, that's what we ask, is thicker are also in this Kurata iron, one of the Deaf seeds of this

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means those The eyes are fixed on them coolness of the eyes also means that they don't only bring me happiness, it means I'm always watching over them, let me always be in their life with me always be present in their life. And therefore Allah says He rewards them for the suburb, why suburb? What is this got to do with suburb, meaning it's a constant, a job of a dad and a mom. There's no live public holidays, no sick days, even Subhanallah especially for the moms no sick days. When you're sick, you still on the job. It requires patience, you have made this every time you can say a switch offers a dead end. I just need a time not to think not to worry not to be involved. Allah says

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that's what he wants you for being patient, because you are constantly involved in the upbringing of these children. So make dua before you have kids make dua for those of you are not married, those of you who are you know, looking to have kids make dua already now ALLAH blessed me with pious kids. When you have kids of course we have to, of course continue as they grow up, no matter how old they are. They do have the pain and as always Mr. Joffe Monessen gave examples of very excellent example. There are six today's Imam, the Haram How did you become the amount of the Haram so he said I became the Imam because I was a very naughty child. What do you mean? Very, very naughty and every time

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One would be frustrated with me she would say, you are so naughty. May Allah make you the Imam of the Haram one day. And she used to make dua for every time was naughty her do after him, you will be the Imam of the Haram wonder you will be the easiest. I mean, it's on YouTube, you can check it. But Subhanallah if if a child is very naughty, make a good dua every time they do something naughty. That is the reason why we said and this comes, we know what goes without saying lead by example, kids will follow in our footsteps. If we want our kids, if we look at our kids, and we're not happy with who they are, from a dean perspective, from a dunya perspective, they're not reading enough.

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They're not you know, in the masjid enough, it begins with us, begins with us everything we want in our kids, we need to start doing it and maybe Subhanallah it's out of our comfort zone. We want that so we need to lead we want them to be involved in certain things we need to get involved the opinions of Han Allah they never had the opportunity, for example, recite Quran, but they want their kids to recite Quran and I admire those dads who themselves they will come with a kid and say, just as you started reciting Quran, Allah will I'm also going to recite with the Imam Kuru Allah who had we will learn together.

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There was a dead from in Australia was from Pakistan. He his kids were not in like, you know, they'll, you know, being in a western society, they're moving away from Islam. So he said, Let us learn I want it's pointless me telling you learn listen to all these Bionz and lectures, let us read and study the Quran together and discuss it together. And he said Subhanallah when at the end of the journey, yes, he has benefited. But then they also obviously Alhamdulillah came back towards him. He said make a deal with me. I will support you in whatever you want. But let us go through this journey together. You realize it's not something as a parent, I can tell you do this, and I don't

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fulfill that. Announcements. Okay.

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Right, so we're talking about leading by example. And lead with affection and love. Allah describes this to The Gambia, he tells the Ambia that when you look after you guide guide with love First, your kids need to know you love them. And you know what's amazing about love? Now we understand this with other relationships. You know, you can't tell your wife that you get an obviously when you get married, you say this,

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sweetie, I love you. And I'm not going to say this again. When this if it changes I will let you know for now. That's the default. I don't need to tell you every day that's not gonna work. In fact, even Allah subhanaw taala we cannot tell Allah, that we worship you, we love you. And when that changes, I will let you know No, we have to express that love daily five times a day. Express that Iman because y'all Allah, I believe in you. And that's it. No, you need to express that continuously you just show it continuously. And this Subhanallah is a vital requirement. We have scientific studies that prove this now. Now in the past, you might have dads that never said I love you to

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anyone not even to maybe to the mom, I love you mommy but never to the wife, the kids they would never hear these things because that's the dad you know, later and whatnot even that's a dad that's present the dads that have never even be but today we know that it is vital for the success of an individual to feel to know to be shown the love of the parents and the prophets of Salem showed the so many times kissing his his grandkids his own kids. You know that Ibiza lamb a few months before he died now he's in his 60s Fatima his baby his daughter she's in such a big girl big lady. And I should say is the promises also I should say is a far too much comes into the house and the prompts

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will get up from his chair and he says Come my daughter like a blanket younger Can you sit here is that offsuit Allah Salam, the kind of way he expresses his love to his kids we know the Lord Hadith, so many Hadith that a businessman wants making sujood for so long once a hobby says I got up and look at what's going on. Why is the reason taking so long and sujood and I saw Hassan on his back riding him riding and I was like a horse This is a fun sada it's one of it that my son got on my back, you know Subhanallah i don't know i throw him off and you get upset with me. We are we Swan Allah. And then he said to the Sahaba I didn't want to disturb Hassan's play Hassan was playing on

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my back and I wanted him to finish playing and then I got the salah for Allah now showing that level of love. Do we do that we don't do it enough. Now, again, you we're gonna have to give our kids bad news. Sometimes we're going to tell them the other things that they can't do. They don't want things that are not nice as leaders, as teachers, as managers, as whatever we are. We obviously lead this is our understanding of leadership. You lead with love, I care about you, I want what's best for you. And then when I tell you the things you don't want to hear, you know, it's coming from a place of love. It will not work. Allah says to the promises of them.

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It is by the mercy of Allah, that you are affectionate to them. But if you were fundamentally if you were stand apart, they would have left you ever Buckaroo would have left you they wouldn't have listened to what you said. It must come from a place of love. And the kids our kids should be safe and secure in that I should say is when all when Allah wills good for the members of a household when Allah wants good for that family. He instills in them affection that they are good to one another. And again he

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begins with the dads begins with the dads. So we're talking about the Super Dad of the Quran. And the Super Dad of the Quran is the man that you hear so many times the father, the children of Israel, even the children of Israel, who's Israel in the country in the Middle East, Israel is nabi Yaqoob, Nabil jacobellis Salaam, the grandson of Nabil Brahim father and the use of

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the MBR when Allah speaks about them, he speaks about the challenges with the people he speaks about the teaching dollar. Nabil Brahim, let me know, when Allah speaks about number Yaqoob, you almost don't see an ABI, you see a father, you just see a dead speaking to his kids. And Allah subhanaw taala is showing from this man, what it means to be a great dad and so much so that all the Gambia they didn't say the children of Ibrahim, the offspring of his heart, this is the offspring of Yaqoob all of them Bani Israel, we are the sons of Israel of Yaqoob because he's a super dead and we don't you know, Allah subhanaw taala doesn't tell us a list of lessons, you need to extract it yet and

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they and we look at his dialogue with his sons. So of the things that mean we said last week, we add on to those lessons. Number one, be present. The first thing we have no idea who is talking to his son use of young boy, and the use of says called the use of the abbey hear it Oh my dear father, now he's a young boy, I saw in my dream I saw in my sleep 10

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Ashura, coca and 11 stars and the moon and I saw them making sudo. To me, you can see the dialogue of a child, I saw them making sujood and I saw them, you know, he's almost stumbling over his words. And then he could be sitting and listening. He's got 12 other sons, we don't know. We've got 12 sons in total, with how many daughters how many wives, he's an abbey of Allah, he's teaching, he's got all these. He's a busy man, busier than you and me Wallah, he's busier than you and me. But he's listening to his young, six, seven year old child, and the child is telling him about dreams. Now, the fact that this child felt so open and confident to speak about his dreams to his father.

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And he felt so in the first person want to tell his daddy is something special? Because do our kids do that with us? Do they feel open to speak about the dreams, the fears, their hopes, their desires? The problems? Do they feel confident enough? Here? You see the first thing that W's have comes he's a bit disturbed by the dream, he goes to his dad's. So do we have regular conversations? That study that Britain did the longest study? They said, of the success factors? Make, you know, conversation time every day with your kids, every child have like 15 minutes, have a chat with him? Not telling them what to do, what not to do? Not shouting at them. Just what you hear what's in them on their

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mind, make time for them to read and make time to have a conversation with him. So have regular conversations. And if you can't answer these questions, what are your kids interested in? What are they watching? Who Are they friends? Are they into sports? Are they into games? What is the interest? What are they goals? He's talking about goals and dreams? This is an actual dream? What about the dreams in the future? If we don't know that we don't have a relationship with our kids? Yeah, you see in Abeokuta is present. He knows all of his kids, and you will come and to say something to never use of about your brothers. Don't say this to your brothers, because he knew them

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as well. He had an intimate relationship with all of them. When that'd be cool makes no use of feel very special. And every parent needs to make every child and yes Subhanallah you have some kids that do well, naturally. You have kids that Subhanallah at 30 You're still going to be worried Are they still going to be at home playing games. That's the reality. But each one needs to be made. It's made to feel special. That's your job as a parent, if we give up on our kids as parents, then the world is going to be a much more harsher place to them. Yes, we can't also sugarcoat the reality, just as much as we give the medicine. We need to also advise and make them feel special. Nabil

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Yaqoob is basically insisting on the use of that this is how Allah has chosen you of the Tafseer of this is that we are saying it that Allah has chosen you is made you special meaning you'll be a Navi and through you Allah is going to favor you and your entire family

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as he had favored Nabi Brahim before. You are a special young boy at seven years old, Nabil Jacobi saying you will grow up to be a great man. And we know besides being an OB, now a user will grow up to save millions of lives, becomes an accountant, basically, Finance Finance Minister of Egypt, and through his policies. He has the confidence to say you're the king of Egypt while he's in jail. He says I can do the job better than anyone else. Without praising me I can I know what I'm doing and he saves an entire civilization. He had that confidence from his dad his dad told him as a young boy you will grow up to be someone great. And you will be a great honor to this family with many great

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people like your grandfather Ibrahim, you will be like Him now Subhanallah nothing wrong to say these things to our kids nothing wrong. I'm gonna be so certain I'm gonna do this. And you would give them make it every Sahabi felt I was the special Sahabi we know the famous Hadith of the last would you love the most must be me, because even felt number one. So every child should

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feel I am, I am Daddy's favorite. And I am the special one, everyone should feel that way. And they should work towards that, then of course, it's not just about love. And if he needs to be sound advice, there needs to be some guidance. You know, we've been in life, we've had 3040 years of experience over them, we've seen it, we know what life is like. And therefore our job is to impart that wisdom as the Gambia, we are only doing the work of the Gambia with our kids, we impart that guidance. So here we see an example of the scenario Yaqoob.

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Now we are called sons, 11 of them who 10 of them, they are going to Egypt, and they need to and they gonna be in a sort of a differences, difficult story. Now, these are big guys, they are like in their 30s 40s. They are big men that already they have children. And he already has a father, he tells them, oh, my sons don't enter the city from one gate, but in different different gates, why I don't want you a gang of 10 young men walking into a city might attract negative attention, they might already the police might ask you what's happening, you know, so he says, don't make a spectacle of yourself go from different gates is already is giving them even as old as they are.

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He's already giving them wisdom is advising them always, you know, sometimes we should listen to the advice of our grandmothers or fathers, you know, they might not know what it is in a corporate world or, you know, they've never worked in these kinds of environments, but Subhanallah they this wisdom in that advice. Now to the kids of Yaqoob. They thought that is madmen 10 of us we must all know each go to a different gate. This means nothing. And Allah says in the next idea, now be a kook was given great wisdom. He knew what you even understood things that you don't understand. You understood people. So as parents, we give advice doesn't mean they can take that they will always

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take their advice, but we always give them look at this hadith the Prophet also says the best blessing or the best gift a father can give his children is to teach them good manners.

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If you take away one Hadith of this whole lecture, take this hadith. You cannot give your kids good manners if you don't have it. You cannot ask your kids to speak nicely to their friends. When you're shouting at the mother.

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You can't ask your kids to be punctual on Salah and you neglectful Salah to be honest and you dishonest in your business can't happen to be diligent in class. When you don't work properly at work. Respect your teachers, when you don't respect the people around you. They will learn from what they see, think this hadith our kids are for the most part a reflection of us.

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Number seven, non Obeah Qubes. Kids, they messed up time and time again. Many, many times. In fact, the as you know, they threw an abuse of you know, well. Last time he trusted him to do something. He gave him the car, they crashed the car. They gave him the night out, they messed up. Now they've said we've changed we want to be better. And then they said let us go once again, give us another opportunity now via coop feels I I'm not I'm not comfortable. But they insisted. And so he says Fine, I'll trust you. Paula, you said, Never what I send with you, your brother, your younger brother until you give me a suape says Sundar but Allah swear by Allah, that you will bring him back

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to me promise me you'll be in by 10 o'clock. Promise me if I give you the car, you're not going to speed. Promise me if you go to your friend's house, you'll be the we have to give, we have to give a bit of leeway. Also, we have to give them a chance to grow up. And if they say so even though I said these kids, they lost one brother already who gave them use Have they lost him. Now they say give us the next brother years have passed by 20 years or so. We are not we promise we're going to be good this time. And he trusted them. He gave him a second chance. Part of the training. Some parents are overly controlling, and SubhanAllah. Even when they get married, you want to control those sons.

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Tell them how they should be swam a part of you know, you raise them up to let them go. Let them go prepare them to the best of your ability, then you need to give them the trust to go. Some of you have young kids, some of you have teenage kids. I see some people say like nodding yes. Because, you know, obviously if it's a five year old child, don't give them that, you know, you know your kids where they are in life, not all kids. So this applies for different kids. These kids were old. Now these are big children, and they may stop. But are they coming to the dad give us an opportunity. part of us is part of that. Now visa Saddam had this ability in terms of leadership, he would

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appoint young leaders, young Sahaba give them very, very, very complicated tasks because he believed in them, and yes, they will mess up. But how are they going to learn? How are they going to learn otherwise? And when they mess up? Because again, these kids so that one brother they must lost him a second brother, they lost him again. So they've messed up. And now they come to the dead and they say oh our father is stuck feeling nobuna ask Allah to forgive us and have mercy on us. Indeed we have we were wrong. We committed sin. And so he said I will ask Allah for you from my Lord. Forgiveness, indeed is forgiving, Most Merciful. Now many of you I don't know your relationship with

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your dad or your kids. When you do something wrong. Perhaps the last person you want to inform you that

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you will rather tell everyone anyone the police even

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Let your dad know, when your kids might be the same Subhanallah they would be in the biggest crisis of their life. dangerous stuff. But this is so long as my parents don't know, they might be in an over the head, be in a situation they can't control, but they won't pick up the phone and call their parents, hon Allah. They're our kids, you know, and they will mess up, you will mess up, I will mess up every personal lease up, they must know that at the end of the day, mom and dad have our backs. Yes, they, they will fix it, we might get it, we might get some same thing afterwards. But they're going to first save us from the situation when I'm drowning. I can go to them said I know people

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really close to close to me. But I mean, people that take the lives commit suicide because life became too much. They don't have the courage to speak to their own parents.

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That relationship is built up from years, where they can pick up the phone and say relationships, something's wrong, job, there's something wrong, whatever big problems in life data have a problem. I can pick up the phone and speak to my my parents, if you don't have that is a big, big loss in life. And throughout your life. Many of you are older than me, you know, having a parent even 60 7080 to pick up the phone and just speak to them. Even though they can't do much besides do Ah, it just helps knowing that they are the I've got your back, have Iacob as I said, these kids were not. I mean, none of your kids are bluffs two of the siblings have none of your kids did that. They

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lost two of the brothers and the two brothers. These kids lost two of the brothers and yet they still don't you know via coop and say that he make dua for us we made we made a mistake. They hurt him the most. And he said I will make dua for you. I will be there for you. I will stand between you and Allah begging Allah to forgive you. Subhanallah they knew they dead was on the side. And when things are down and bad, your parents should always be there and we as parents should always give hope. So when things were so bad for them, they'll be consistent. Oh my son's even though you've lost two brothers go out and look for them. Ask about use of his brother and don't ever display in

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the relief from Allah. Don't ever lose hope in Allah subhanaw taala when life is bad, he's telling his kids when you are down you've hit rock bottom. The dad tells his sons never lose hope in Allah in His only lie is swimming Rohilla inland como caffine only a true this will be only a person who has no iman loses, hoping Allah is telling them don't ever give up and be a coupe is the one hurting the most because it's his sons and he's telling them don't lose hope keep going in life. No matter how bad things are. Your parents will always be there for you. And then lastly, and this is the point of having no matter how

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frustrating it is how tiring it is. I know sometimes we just want some for those of us who have young kids, just you know getting to the toilet is like a break from from the kids. You know, you can never we can never stop worrying and showing okay and concern for them on his deathbed. On his deathbed. Allah takes the BR coupe where I towards the end he's dying, he's about to meet Allah.

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When you're dying, all you can think about is and I've seen I've seen myself at his deathbed, Allah says Were you they were never yaku was about to die. And what did he say? Asking you sons? What are you going to worship off to me? When I go Who will you worship? And they said We will worship your load the one load the load of our forefathers, Ibrahim and Ismail and it's Huck right until he's in these are worried about molecule note. He's not worried about Of course he's worried about these things. Jana, I'm going to meet Allah but he's worried more my kids what's going to happen to you after I'm gone? There'll be people one of them is gonna be a VMB of Allah and he still sees them as

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small children. Tell me my boys What are you going to worship after me? We cannot stop caring and showing okay and concern, even if they don't listen, even if they don't. We can only give advice when the younger Yes, we can have more control. When they get older. We can just give advice give love, give support, give affection, give a good example and just keep making dua so I ask Allah to bless you and me, our kids, your kids, my kids and Allah grow grow them up to be the coolness of our eyes, and to be in the key and the love of Allah may Allah guru grant our youth all the youth of this country to be people that are special that will lead this country and this world forward. May

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we go way we live long and see our kids become truly leaders of goodness that we can be proud that parental it's good that parents parental pride, our kids are something special because they are special. mela help us all of us. I mean, quick notices birthday. As you Fatima for wife of letter J Hudson. Her food will be celebrating her 96th birthday Mashallah. On the 23rd of June, we ask Allah Subhana Allah to grant he Fatima all the strength and good health. May Allah go into many many more years. Um, Allah subhanaw taala exhibited to us and bless her and her family. I mean, then I must apologize to my class two weeks in a row. I've missed my class, both.

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I didn't realize that we had a weird, there was a traffic issue. So but in sha Allah Monday, six o'clock, our class will resume in sha Allah, and we'll still work on the Back to Basics when the WhatsApp goes out. We'll go out in sha Allah chicken on so much so don't worry commerical avocado