Your Rights as a Muslim Wife

We live in Chicago James Miller man Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salatu salam ala COVID Mursaleen Sydenham Hamad not early was a big mine my beloved brothers and sisters as Salaam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh always and we will begin with the praise of Allah Masha Allah, Allah, Allah we testify that there is none worthy of worship he says Allah subhanaw taala and we send our love and greetings so we love interview Mohamed Salah Lonnie will send them to his family and his companions and all those who follow the Sunnah till the end of time. May Allah Subhana Allah bless us the Muhammad SAW Allah Allah may Allah make it easy for us. We're going through difficulty shifa

to those who are ill mostly right in general for those for those who have passed away. I mean, what hamdulillah Al Hamdulillah it is the first Friday of August the sixth of August in South Africa. Sadly, the Masjid Massoud hyung. Islam is still closed as the the curve the eviction of the COVID is still on an incline here in Cape Town and until in sha Allah, the curve starts to peak and descend, then inshallah we will consider opening the masjid molars pantalla keep us safe. I mean, in August, we mentioned that it is women's month here in South Africa. In fact, the ninth of August is a commemoration of Women's Day. And it is always important to look at certain segments of our

community, those segments are are committed or marginalized and to and to honor them and to give them a special mention, and this is what the Quran has done. So it made a Surah Surah Nisa and in fact, the last advice is going to be sauce Allah, the very very last sermon he gave before he passed away so I sent him he said, a solid Salah Omen look after your salah or Muslims, look after your salah or Mama, look at a man and be careful for those people under your custodianship meaning your wives and children. Look after him. This was the last advice than a visa Salam reminded, in particular the mean of this ummah, and why it's also important we discussed today we're talking

about what you have your rights as a wife in Islam, when you get married as a wife, what are the rights that you get in terms of many car contracts. And why we mentioned this is at the moment, there's a court case happening in the Supreme Court of South Africa, the highest court in South Africa, our other constitutional court between you know, Muslim women agitating for certain rights, certain recognition of the marriage, which is not being fulfilled. And because unfortunately, a very, very sadly, there are many women that are not being treated fairly and justly, and men muslimin husbands are not giving women the share in terms of the Sharia. And these women,

unfortunately, have no other choice to go to a secular court to demand a recourse justice. And it's very sad that we have this and so we begin by mentioning this very, very important Hadith than the results of lamb says the most important contract, which is deserving that you should fulfill the most important contract that you must fulfill is that which intimacy becomes merciful meaning the Nikka contract. This one Allah The reason is telling you the biggest contract of your life and the most serious contract of your life is unica contract. And that, you know, many of us are decent people from the law, you wouldn't cheat. You know, if you were to buy or sell a house, you wouldn't

cheat, you wouldn't steal. How can you then deceive? How can you then cheat on your husband or your wife in terms of the contract? And then the results Allah mentioned we just came up with a HUD season and we remember his his sermon when he said, Oh, mostly men fear Allah concerning women. Visually you have taken them on the security of Allah meaning you have taken them with the trust of Allah. Allah has tested you, when you said copying Tunica Nuptse with Alec. And the Prophet continues to salsa lamb he said, and that they have been made lawful to you lawful lives unto you, by the words of Allah, you testified before Allah, that you will care for these women look after

them. And so how then can you break your trust with Allah subhanaw taala. So also this, once a Muslim woman is married in terms of Monica, she's given afforded a certain set of rights that Allah subhanaw taala has provided in terms of the Sharia. The first thing that is given to her in terms of the contract of Nica is that she is entitled to a dowry it is compulsory that she is given a dowry and no Nikka contract is complete, except without it. And as we know, the dowry is for her that she can use it as she wishes. And Allah Subhana Allah says in the Quran, to the men, that if you wish to replace one wife with another you wish to divorce a certain wife and marry someone else. And you

have given it to Nick and Boren and you're given the wife that you wish to get divorced from a huge download I can find is a fortune you wish to give up, you're given a fortune in terms of authority, then for the hoodoo men who say that you're not allowed to take a single cent back from that from a dowry, even if at marriage only lost one minute, five minutes. You got divorced the day after you got married and you're given her millions in a dowry you cannot take a single setback from a bowtie it is a like a signing on bonus for her to agree to marry you. She's entitled to I doubt it sidenote, many times, the Sharia is blamed that women are neglected or women are disadvantaged in

the Sharia. And in reality, it's not that the Sharia ever disadvantages any person and in particular women in particular, women are enriched by the Sharia. The only reason many times women don't know the rights that the Sharia gives her and the

she's entitled to in terms of the in terms of the Nikka contract. Many times our sisters, when they want to get married, they waive the right to a dowry, or they ask for a very small dowry, of Sharia has given you the opportunity to put a demand of whatever dowry you want. And so you should think very carefully, not just about the day you get married, but for your long term well being in sha Allah. The second thing we know that the Sharia also offers to the ladies. So when you get married, you get the signing on bonus, your Maha, then throughout your marriage while you're married to this man, that he is responsible for all your financial needs, and he should maintain your standard of

living, as you're accustomed, if he took you from a house for your family or your father had given you a very high standard of living, it is expected that he should maintain you in that same standard of living, even if you are financially independent, even if you have millions in the bank account, we know that the husband still needs to provide for you all your basic financial needs and to maintain your standard of living. And Allah subhanaw taala says, that let the Richmond spend according to his means. And the man who is poor, and is restricted in Him speak according to his means, meaning that the man is responsible for spending on his family, something which many of our

sisters don't know that in terms of the Sharia, and this is in the Quran is that it was a hadith or an opinion of the scholars. It is part of the Quran, that the father of the child the Quran says Surah Baqarah, the father of the child shall be the cost of the mother's food and clothing on a reasonable basis when she is breastfeeding in particular, and so that when a woman is breastfeeding a child, even if they're divorced, so say husband and wife, they've gotten divorced, and the child is still small, and she's breastfeeding, when she deserves a salary for looking after her children. Now, no matter what progressive laws, they are in the West, these are the single country that I'm

sure with a husband needs to pay a salary to the wife or to the mother for caring for her own children. But this is in particular breastfeeding the children, the Sharia says that she's entitled to a salary. Now I don't know of any system that has ever demanded of her husband a salary. But again, this is something that the Sharia has entitled you to do, if you wish to do so per the Quran. And we know it goes even further that the hadith of Hindu been talked about the wife of Abu Sufian, if you say to them, obeso Salam, and she complained about Abu Safiyah and Rhodiola. And that he was really stingy. He does not give her the financial need if he does not fulfill our financial needs,

which is also lossless and Abu Sofia isn't giving me enough every month in terms of a maintenance or allowance. And so she said can I take from his money without his permission? Can I throw in our times can I go and log into his bank account and take out an EFT or use his credit card Sharia compliant obviously no interest can I use from his money without his permission. And so the name is awesome says take what is sufficient for you and your children on what is reasonable, don't be extravagant. But if your maintenance needs are not being fulfilled, then you can take without his permission, even SubhanAllah. Again, this is not usual own find a single law in the world, which

allows you to hack into his bank account and take from his money. The Sharia allows us if it is reasonable. Besides financial means we don't really care who's not just a financial contract. There are special, you know, emotional, physical needs that a sister is entitled to. And if she's not, if his needs are not being fulfilled, these are all grounds for divorce. These are all grounds for a facile, even husband is not fulfilling these things when a lady is should be allowed to exit her marriage because these are not being made. The third most important thing after her financial needs is that needs of sexual fulfillment. Now one of the important conditions of Nikka one of the

important benefits of Nika is that hamdulillah husband and wife can be intimate with each other. And that means even Kodama Rakim, Allah means this hadith, but then it also says that, you know, a man you should make sure that when he is intimate with his wife, he should not finish until her desires are fulfilled. Why? Because there is no man on earth that can fulfill her needs, sexual needs, and every person has those needs. It is the duty of the husband to fulfill his wife's needs. And if she is not fulfilled, then SWANA lovers is a great injustice upon her that a woman can take her husband to the emergency and say I would like to divorce my husband. And then I will ask, why are you

wanting to divorce this magazine? abusing you is not fulfilling? Is it enough aka you say not what hamdullah he's a good man all those regards. But in the bedroom, he does not fall for me and I am frustrated. And on that basis. I would like to leave this marriage. She has the right to get a an annulment of Annika on grounds of lack of performance sexually. So this is given to her as I write also beyond the physical needs, the emotional needs. And Allah says in the Quran will actually run out of love nicely with each other and in particular to the main love in a way we assist that is emotionally fulfilled. And the prophets Allah further than that. He highlighted that you demands on

Allah and the highest level of Eman is to the man who fulfills and is kind to his wife and fulfills

emotional needs and responses. The most complete of all believers is the one whose Iman is perfect in his manners. The belief is us perfects his manners. And the best of you in manners are those who are best towards their wife, the best thing you have is the believer of good manners, and in particular, those who are good to the wives and Hadith of Buhari and resources, and always be kind to the women be kind to your women. And what does this mean? How have you give emotional support, there are many things under this one category, it entails giving her her due share of time, right? So you need to of course, no matter how busy we are in our lives, even Subhan Allah even when it

comes to Ibadah we know the hadith of Sandman fallacy, when he saw his brother of Buddha was neglecting his wife because he's making a lot of gadgets and fasting whenever he's also Nam agreed with the statement of Sandman that every part of your life has its hack so don't take the time that is belong to your wife and spin it on the masala It is haram don't give what belongs to your wife and kids to Allah even not even we talking about your job or your Xbox Subhan Allah so she deserves a fair amount of time and support. She deserves that her honor and her dignity is predicted Subhanallah as a husband when you get married, it is a huge Amana that you take on when you say

Pibil to you are accepting the Amana that I am this lady's wali and Awali is the one that protects you and protects you from any kind of harm, physical, financial, emotional, and the honor and your dignity of your person. And so for a lady in particular, her honor, and her status is very, very sacred in the Sharia. And the husband is custodian of that, how then do we find Subhanallah that men degrade the wives and they belittle the wives and they physically harm their wives this is of the highest level of treason against Allah subhanaw taala. And as we see emotional needs that needs to be always considered and taken care of, and that is the son of Nebuta sunlamp. So many times we are

selective in as soon as we wish to practice very good, all Sooners are good and all Sooners are amazing. But when we are neglecting the well being of our family, when it is not a sunnah that we neglect, actually neglecting a watch is a compulsory thing which Allah subhanaw taala has placed upon us. And if one just needs to look at the life of individual Salam, you'd see how much of time that he had spent to care for his family. There are many, many other added things, you know, we can keep a long list of what a lady is entitled to in terms of a marriage contract. And what this means is that even if it's not written in black and white, the minute you say are built to win, you have

to give her a dowry, you have to make sure that her financial needs are maintained, you have to physically pay her, you know, in terms of any kind of she looks after your kids or looks after the house, if she's not working, you have to pay for those things that if you know you may have and you need to fulfill her in the bedroom, you need to make sure that you give her her share of time, emotional needs, all these things need to be fulfilled. This goes without saying you know if she adds any additional things in the contract, so she is also entitled to add other clauses in her marriage contract and spineless sisters, I must say to you, many of you are unaware of your rights

the Sharia gives you and there's so many things you can add into your contract to protect you from any injustice. And many times we forfeit these things. And the real tragedy is that it's due to lack of lack of knowledge. The last point we mentioned of your rights, one of the things you say especially in Cape Town, when we get married, we say to him so I can do my roof in office 300 so that you get married together a model and equitable terms we live together kindly, old so you can be sad, or you separate nicely. But if the marriage is not working out for either one of you, then depart in kindness, do not marriage should not be a means of harming another person. It should not

be harmful to the husband or harmful to the wife. If Alhamdulillah you know those people got married and you try your best, but it's not working out both sides are not happy or one party is not happy, then you should let her go in in peace for the man of course we know it is a lot easier many times for him to exit the marriage through Talaq for the ladies, she has to go through a process and so many times women are abused in this process. And Allah says in the Quran, and if you divorce them before you have touched them even if you are married for a very short period of time and you have already specified for them and obligation, you meaning you've already given them the Mahara then if

you have never had been intimate with us still you are only allowed to take half the Mahara back and then Allah Subhana Allah says and it is better for you to let go all of it and then Allah his wallet on Salford la vida calm and when you will get divorced and this is an important point almost says that when you get divorced, even if you were only married for two, three minutes. Do not forget the goodness between you when you pot pot nicely. There was even a moment in time even it was a very short moment. We will love one another. You are connected with one another you are husband and wife. Now this is for a this is what Allah mentioned this is for a person who got married and he didn't

even spend one intimate moment with her. And Allah says when you separate zip

write nicely and give her the dowry give all of it it's better for you and don't forget the good times that you had now what good times your Allah we weren't even intimate? If this is the case for someone will only marry for a few hours or a few minutes. What about someone who shared a lifetime together? What about that wife? That boy your children? Yes, maybe after many, many years things out it's human nature. People fall in and out of of love and marriages fall apart. It's It is human nature. But Allah says, When you get divorced, don't forget the goodness that you had. Don't forget the times that she was there for you to forget all the things that she had done for you. And so

separate in goodness, let her go in peace, let her go in peace. And we know from the Hadith, a very famous hadith of Sahabi 30 minute Eisner with Ronnie Allah and Sahabi his wife, she was unhappy in the marriage, and she wanted a divorce. So she came to the Nabil Salam. And she said, O Messenger of Allah, I do not find any fault with rabbit in his character who is religious commitment, she's coming to the narcissism and saying, Ya rasool Allah wa salam, I cannot complain about Therby. I have no case against him. He's not a bad guy. He's a good guy. In fact, he's a good Muslim, and he has good character, good manners, nothing wrong in him. So I can't even make a legitimate complaint

about him. But I do not want to commit any act of Cofer of the Muslim. Gopher also could mean Yeah, lack of appreciation. So she's saying I do not want to be I'm not happy in this marriage, basically, she was was ALLAH forbid, is a good guy. I'm not happy with him. And I'm worried that I'm going to be punished for this. So I want to be rid of this marriage. And so then it is also limited to how will you give back the garden he had given you the tablet or the Alon, he must have loved her very much. If given her a huge, like a farm like a garden as a dowry, given a land properties, Pamela, think about this, how many of us as husbands give property as a dowry? So Dalbec face property to

this lady as a dowry. And so the reason says, Okay, you're the one who wants to divorce therapy hasn't done anything wrong when you give back his dowry, and so she said, Yes, I will give back his dowry. And so then a visa Salam didn't even consult with RBT Winterthur with and he said to fabric, draw the line fabric, think back to your dowry and divorce this lady. She doesn't want to be married. Let her go. Let her go. And sadly, there are so many women that desperately want to insert their marriages. And we've made it so difficult on app. It's not that marriage should be a prison sentence for you. And subhanAllah Yes, we are all against divorces. But the Sharia has allowed

multiple avenues for a marriage to be dissolved, if it is in the best interest of both couples. So what practical advice can I give us? You know, when we get married, and I think about my sister or my daughter when they get married? What advice would I give to the sisters when they get married and 100 Anika contract just by saying copy into it's a verbal contract that should be enough as a deterrent for any person or husband or wife to break the sanctity of the Nikka because this is done in the sight of Allah subhanaw taala that verbal Kaabil to is enough that you know you are accountable to Allah. But in terms of dunya we need to have extra precautions unfortunately, you

some advice number one, put your marriage contract in in writing. Even unica put it in writing stipulate the dowry stipulate the conditions stipulate what maintenance will be given stipulate certain clauses that you want to agree to if you notice many times before the Nikka, all the promises are made, these things need to be documented. And if the witnesses see, and this has been agreed upon, if you want to go a step further, then you can even register uniqa contract, called an ANC and antenuptial contract with a lawyer. And so if Allah protect that the contract which was agreed upon the person, the husband or the life goes against the contract, then you can take this

person legally to court. And then he said we shouldn't get to that level. But today, sometimes we need to put things in black and white. Also, many times, you know, during the marriage, what happens is that the lady, and this is the reality, unfortunately of life, and 100 I'm already with them. This is what many of our mothers or grandmothers or sisters or wives, what they do, they get married, they are independent, they can work, they can increase themselves financially, but they put a career on hold, and sometimes they never even get back to the career, why to take care of the household and the kids they'd rather invest in the family. And so financially, they go behind

financially, they don't progress. Meanwhile, the husband hamdulillah his career develops he gets more money, they start buying cars and houses and hamdulillah they become financially well off and everything gets put in the name of the husband. Now there is an understanding that's on my head it not been for the wife, I wouldn't have been able to earn all of this. And on top of that, I'm not giving her the maintenance she deserves I'm not giving her that salary for looking after the children. If I had to replace up your I had to get a cook to cook my meals. I would have to get a cleaner to clean my house. I would have to get a maid a nanny to look after my children. I'd have to

get a teacher for my children all these things I get so the free of charge if my wife

She put a salary on her efforts, it will be a huge amount, and therefore every acid that I get, I only got that off to the Grace of Allah and the support of my wife. And so she's deserving for a percentage of this acid. So remember when acid is bought, or sisters or wives demand in a respectful way, that a percentage of those assets be put in your name as well or some contract is thrown up, that you are entitled to a certain amount of the assets. And so this will always be used if you get divorced, when this must be given to you. If your husband passes away, Allah Grantham Jana, then you will say, Yes, I know in terms of the Sharia, I only get one eight. This is the Sharia and we don't

split the Sharia Allah knows best. But before you take out the inheritance, half of this house belongs to me. So first, give me my che, and the remainder is inheritance, then be very clear in terms of your maintenance every month. So if you insist this many sisters they not only do they look after the domestic needs of the house, many sisters are even involved in the husband's business. And she works for free, she doesn't get a salary. She's you know, part of my job as a wife knows Pamela, you need to make sure that whatever is due to you in terms of a salary, this must be documented and put down. And perhaps another thing I can recommend is that the Sharia allows something called the

wheeled paddock, the wheeled Pollack is the right to divorce, the lady gets a right to issue a toddler, she can exit the marriage with a toddler, this is something which is permissible in the Sharia. And if you want one of these talks, then on the day of your new car, you must mention in your contract, I would like one of these locks or two of these locks, whatever it might be in my hand. So if ever I want to leave the marriage, I don't have to go and apply for a foster, I can just issue the lock as the husband is issued that Allah sidenote, very, very dangerous to do this. Because remember, the minute you utter a word, it can count as $1 If you say I'm done, I don't want

to be your wife anymore. I'm tired of this marriage. I'm no longer your wife. The minute you say these things, it counts as a counselor Talaq. And so be very careful though, the one who holds the Talaq must be really, really careful in what he says. And so be mindful as to how to exit any contract. Also think about if things don't work out for me, how do I get out of this contract in any way other contract when you go, you know, your job contract, you purchase a house, you buy a car, a cell phone contract, you look at what are the exit clauses? What about the Nikka contract, we need to know how do I get out of this contract, and so very important to do that. Lastly, just to mention

what has happened in the court, many of you have been seeing the news. So what's going on here in South Africa? Why are Muslim women appealing to the highest court in South Africa, the Constitutional Court, they're basically taking the South African government to vote saying that their rights as Muslim women aren't being fulfilled what's going on. So in somebody in my love, forgive me and the lawyers or they might if I've got anything wrong here, but my understanding, so we know that uniqa When you get married in the masjid in South Africa, unica is not legally recognized as a marriage, in the sight of Allah, you're married. But for all intents and purposes,

you are not married, if a lady wants to get divorced, she's not counted as a spouse, if the husband dies, it will be saved, but they are not legally married. And so in the current, they are, of course, laws about marriages and divorce in South Africa, civil laws, these, of course, are not in conformity with the Sharia. So if you will go to the court and you get married, you know, as we say, a good married in court or you get married legally in South Africa, the legal laws are not the same as the Nikka rules of the Sharia. And so there is a disconnect between the Sharia and the South African law is understood in an attempt to bring a way to legalize the Sharia, to bring the Sharia

into the South African Court, also African legislation and idea the Muslim personal Law Act was drafted. This legislation was thrown up. Unfortunately, it never, ever, has not yet been passed. One of the reasons, many, many reasons why this hasn't passed, one of the reasons is, unfortunately, even amongst the older man, they have disputed amongst themselves, you know, what should we put in the law? What should we not what our interpretation of the Sharia and because of our, our slowness, our division, nothing has happened. And so now after, you know, almost 30 years of a New South Africa, still Muslim Nikka marriages are not recognized legally. And so what this means is that we

mean husbands die, these women who got married in the masjid only Monica, they are not seen as wives. So they do not keep the rights of spouses in terms of in terms of inheritance, or if a husband divorces have, he does not give her a che in terms of what she is do in terms of the Sharia is no one to the Allama we cannot force the man to be just an honorable there Subhanallah even men that might go so far and say this woman is not even my wife. She was just, you know, whatever it was, and so she is not entitled to anything in terms of any marriage contract and zpanel they were married for for many years.

And so, because of this, many women have, you know, financially been left destitute? You know, she's kicked out of the house because the house in the husband's name, she has given up a career. So she hasn't done a single scene for the last 1015 20 years, she has no job. Where does she go to Aspen says, Look, not my problem. And so we were not married legally, there's nothing you can do. And so unfortunately, because of this injustice, certainly we groups have gone to the South African Court, and have said that look, we want in Muslim marriages, the South African secular law to come into play. And so this is a long back and forth story. The court has looked at this matter the Supreme

Court of Appeal in South Africa, and they agreed that currently, the situation is unconstitutional, and that the government has two years to remedy this. So in two years time, the South African, we need to find a solution with a set of legislation will be available, which allows for loosely marriages to be recognized. Now the danger is if we do not produce new legislation, then the existing legislation, the existing laws of divorce, the existing laws of marriage will apply to Muslim marriages. And in some of those legislations, it goes against the rules of the Sharia, for example, like what if the wife is wealthy and the husband divorces or the husband gets, you know,

they separate the husband can claim maintenance from his wife, in terms of the existing law, certain things with regards to polygamy might not be compatible with the existing laws. So these things which are against the Sharia, this might become applicable to all Muslim marriages here in South Africa, because panela of our maybe our inaction, or our sadly, as abusing the tenants of the Sharia. Lastly, what can we learn from this entire saga that is happening in the courts? Number one, Hamdulillah, we thank Allah that we live in a country we, a Muslim woman can go to the court and complain about, you know, what's happening with her husband or being divorced. And her rights as a

Muslim woman are looked at and considered or Hamdulillah. We thank all of it. We live in a country of law. And we think that our rights, our religious rights, in particular in South Africa, is respected. And we then also on top of that we mentioned we must mention, it doesn't matter what the courts say, the ultimate law is the law of Allah subhanaw taala. And whether certain acts of the Sharia are not in compliance with the constitution. We know the Sharia supersedes the Sharia is the ultimate loss of data. And for us as Muslims, that is our Constitution. And we therefore appeal to all of the lawyers and whoever's involved, to please to move this process forward. So that we can

have a set of legislation which is recognized in our country and complies with a shady of Allah subhanaw taala. And the last point and perhaps the most serious point, the fact that Muslim women have to appeal to as I said, secular courts to get their rights in terms of the Sharia to get the rights which is due to them Allah because Muslim men are not fulfilling the duties. How sad is that? How sad is that, that we need to go outside to get Muslims to do their rights in terms of what they should be doing in the sight of Allah. This is Pamela, not just a It's not just the volume oppression upon that woman. It is an injustice that you have done on the entire Muslim community.

And because of that, it might be that laws will be passed that will make all of us make all of us have to follow certain our marriages our divorces will be not in accordance with the Sharia, but be based on secular rules. So we ask an appeal to every single one of us to fulfill our duties with regards to our marriage context and all contracts our keep us steadfast and Allah have mercy upon us for the love and understanding in our marriages. And when we meet together partners in the dunya and akhira, just like love hate or sort of loss in them. He also have use of almost any other means and I want to get