The Women Around the Messenger SAW – Episode 17

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AI: Summary © The importance of finding a partner who is both a good spouse and a good person is emphasized in the segment on finding a partner. The speaker emphasizes the need for strong personalities and a commitment to a rule. The difficulty of marriage is highlighted, including the loss of loved ones and privacy. The sharia and importance of knowing oneself and finding one's own happiness are also discussed.
Transcript ©
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blasphemy, salat wa salam ala COVID mursaleen sarina Mohammed Ali he was a he he married my beloved brothers and sister in Islam Islam Allah, Allah. Allah. Hi, thank you so much for joining us this episode 17 of our series The Blessing women around the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Before we begin, I've received a number of questions with regards to choosing a spouse. So we've listened to the series, and we've looked at the beautiful relationship between the prophets of Salaam and the Mad Men in the lives of the person and in particular, the details that was shared to us by Ahmed eyeshadow, the Lionheart and as I said before, the promiseland, the soft nature, this loving

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personality as loving husband that he was, wasn't just why sure he was like that with all these wives. But only a few generations we have from him, his interactions with them with iPhone, Yolanda, of course, will teach for many years and tell us about the intimate moments. So we would all want to find that love, that affection, that happiness that we find within a partner, for Indeed, Allah subhanho wa Taala created us in peace, He created us that we would always be longing to find our better half someone who will complete us. In fact, we know the Hadith of the Prophet mentioned that if a man marries a woman that is good, a woman that is pious, then he has completed half of the man,

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meaning he's found half of these partnership and before he needs to focus on the other half. And the same goes for the system that we are meant to, not to live in this dunya on our own. One of those beautiful examples is our father, Adam alayhis. Salam is in Genoa, created in Genoa, he's in the company of the angels. He has everything his heart can desire in terms of food and drink. There's nothing better than Janna Of course, it's still there was a longing still there was a loneliness still there was something incomplete and only when Allah subhana wa dialler created our mother her work. So that was Salam was the completion in them was finally defined contentment, true contentment

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and Allah subhanaw taala mentions this feeling in in Surah room when Allah says mean 80 of the signs of the great signs of Allah is that he created for us partners later sooner or later, we can find what each inside of each other with each other in the company of our partner Sakina tranquility, contentment, and that Allah subhanaw taala mentions he is the one that places between the spouses mawatha and Rama deep affection deep passionate love and attraction and Rama and mercy for the bad times moda for the good times. And the ramen when things are Rocky is key and concern and comfort in each other. So we are meant to find that special person. And our Dean, as I said many times, our

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Dean is actually a romantic Dean in some senses, and it's very practical in the needs of each other. So what do we look for in terms of spouses? Well, the professor gives us guidance for the brothers, the professor Salah mentions a number of criteria. And he says a man marries a woman for four reasons. Number one for her beauty. So a man can marry a woman because he finds a physically attractive and she meets his physical needs. This is fine, no problem in that. And he saw many, many women because of the wealth because he wants to benefit from her wealth that's also permissible. Nothing wrong with that, or her lineage. In the past, perhaps not in our day. It's not so common. In

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the past, there was a class system. There was a system that certain families were elevated certain families, of course, they got privileges and they got protection and that perks. So if you're married into a strong family, then you benefited from that. So her lineage was a big deal. So in the past, people would marry someone because she came from a respected tribe or family and in the provinces of course, and a woman is married for her Dean, her, her religiosity, her religious commitment, and the Prophet says if you want to be successful, then choose a woman of Deen choose a woman of genomic Deen your primary focus, because choosing a spouse is perhaps the biggest decision

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of your life. There is no decision that will be more will have bigger repercussions for you in the dunya and then choosing that partner that will be laying next to you for years if I mean and it will be restricted with you and hopefully will be your partner in general. So choose wisely and choose someone that will benefit you in terms of your deen number one and then number two of course, making your dunya as enjoyable as possible across distances. The world is an amateur something to it's a delight something to enjoy the dunya is filled with enjoyments and delights but the base delight one could have is to find for a man to find a woman that is good a good woman in this dunya and that is

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obviously good for his his Deen. So for the brothers, choose the woman that is best for you, your dean and best for you as well. One for your dean and you're you're doing your annual appeal. So you choose a woman that with machetes

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about someone that is Dini, you don't have to find you know, a chef or any mom or a female mowlana you know Malema? You know if you can find someone that is deeply devoted Alhamdulillah but Deen is not just in terms of book knowledge Deen is in terms of the kind of person you are the kind of character you have how you treat your fellow inside. Yes, Dean means you need to do the basics, the basics of your firearm, you need to avoid the major sins, major sins, meaning like Xena, like drugs, like stealing, those are major sins. Avoid those major sins. Of course everyone commits minuses. So someone that is hesitant, has a religious connection, someone that is connected to the deen and at

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the very least the basic level and would like to move forward. That Deen is part of our life. Deen is part or is the most important part of our life. You know, choose someone like that. Don't choose someone that is going to be a project as one brother said, I don't want to find I don't want to he told me and I asked him What are you looking for in life, he said, I don't want a project. I don't want a system I basically have to teach and have to push and have to battle with the everyday performance Sala to do this correctly. I want someone that knows the basics. And when hamdulillah together we we develop. So to someone like that. And of course, don't forget you as well assist and

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don't forget, you know, CBO portion of the dounia to someone that you can live with that you can talk to that you can have a laugh with, that you can be happy with the prophets of Allah, you look at his relationship with Allah, it's not all just Dean, they not only just talking about Hadith and his teaching effect, now this soft, romantic moments, so you need to have the kind of have a kind of chemistry as well. So choose someone like that. As for the sisters, the prophet Salam says to you choose a man, that is he has Dean and character and the other person goes even further, to separate the two. He has to have Dean and character Dean again means that he's religiously committed to a

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law. He's doing the basics of a man, a man that performances five ladies on us, he of course, fast and easy soccer. he avoids the major sins, he doesn't have any serious deficiencies in his Deen, you know, he's a practicing brother, as we would say he's a practicing Muslim when hamdulillah. And of course with the Nia that hopefully you will become more It doesn't mean he has to be half of the Quran. It doesn't mean he has to be a molana or she is just a practicing brother. And he does the basics. And he avoids the major sins when such a person is a person of Deen. And the problem goes further and one with good character. So not only is he good in terms of his relationship with Allah,

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but more important, more importantly, but very importantly, a separate proposition separates the two. He is good in his interactions with Insan. So somebody that treats his mother, his father, his brothers, his friends, his coworkers, well, he gets along with people, this is someone who's gonna make you happy. This is someone that when you are frustrated, when that baby's crying to three o'clock the morning, and he has to wake up, he's not going to use bad words, he's not going to be aggressive is not going to be abusive. He will be understanding he will be unforgiving when it comes to faults is a good, good person with other people. So look for someone that has good character,

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because as the process Allah mentions, a man like that. He's Dean and he's taqwa will prevent him from harming you He will never ever harm you because he's a man. He's a man of good character, a man that is good natured. Of course, there are other things to look further than that, you know, for a woman as well. A man that can provide for you part of the deal when we get married. We know as husbands when we get married to someone our Sharia requires from us to provide financial maintenance we call nasaka. And a woman can you know, it's it's Islamic, nothing wrong for me to say I'm accustomed to a certain lifestyle. My father's my father provided me with this kind of lifestyle. So

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I would like a husband that can maintain me in that in that lifestyle. hamdulillah. Again, sister, look for someone that will be good for you in terms of your deen and good for you in terms of your dunya someone that will be a good guide, someone who will be a good example for you in terms of your deen can help you become a better Muslim. And of course, someone that will make your dunya enjoyable that will bring you happiness and laughter will bring you good times together. I mean, that's what we look for. Someone might say, Hannah law, should I always choose someone that is better than me in terms of the more practicing than me, though, is really not necessarily smiley, you might find

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someone and we know it's permissible in the Sharia, for a man to marry a woman that is a Jew or a Christian, a good Christian or a good Jewish woman, you may marry her. We'll talk about why it's only permissible for the men and other ladies, perhaps another time, but you might find a brother that when he marries such a woman, he forces himself to be the example. Now he constantly has to make sure he's the best husband because he's the ambassador when it comes to Dean and let's actually brought out the best in him. As someone else Miss Pamela, the Medi

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the Imam and the Imams panel is never I don't so much is teaching outside. And I speak again from experience here. Sometimes the Imam unfortunately does not

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have enough time for his own family as just your normal nine to five brother. So the lady marries the mom and she thinks that, you know, we're going to spend time together and we're going to fast together. But your mom is, you know, in the masjid more often than being at home. So these kind of things we need to be realistic about. And we need to look at each each person is a package deal, we take the pros and the cons. And you need to ask yourself, Well, what are the deal breakers in terms of the Sharia? The Sharia says, there are certain red flags. If these things are present, then you know, there's not a good isn't a good Good, good person. There are certain things which you look for

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makes him a good person. Once you go through those red flags in terms of the Sharia, you asked yourself for me, what are the deal breakers? What kind of husband and wife Do I need as a person? And that's why before selecting a spouse, perhaps the most important thing is for you to know yourself? What do you need? What what will make you happy. And then in Sha, Allah tawakkol, we've done the best we could we make a select list. We've consulted with our families, our parents, our friends, and your friends and family are very good in terms of knowing what you need. And they know us sometimes better than we know ourselves and said this sister, this probably is good for you. You

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need that kind of person. And then we test it on luck. And even the best of couples will find later on even the Prophet solarmovies wives. They have some rocky moments. There are some bumpy bumps in the road as part of life. If it was if marriage was always going to be smooth sailing, it wouldn't carry such a great reward. Marriage in itself is one of the greatest acts of Nevada, one of the greatest greatest acts of worship and devotion to Allah is marriage. So not less than what Allah blessed us who are married, those who are about to be married or those who are looking to marriage, Allah bless all of us to have good partners and spouses. May they be the coolness of our eyes that

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bring us happiness in the dunya. And of course, let them be our partners that will bring us hand in hand that we will happily ever after. intergender I mean, back to my mother, I shadowed Ilana, I just come out of the roof. And we see that the prophets of Salaam, his love for her only increases with these kinds of incidences to show her high place and status with Allah subhanho wa Taala. And we find that even in the most difficult moment, and I'll interact in short, we'll talk about the most difficult moment in life. I said that if it was was a tough time in her life, but perhaps the biggest difficulty for her was the passing of the Prophet solace and and the passing away of Salaam

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Can you imagine this intense love she had for him? You know that he means closeness that she had with him what it must have been like for her to experience going through the desert of Salaam in fact the Prophet peace upon him system Sahaba that many calamities will come the Sahaba would see many many difficult days. But the biggest calamity that they will experience is his passing away. In fact, this oma the greatest tragedy of the summer was the death of our beloved Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, to the province of Salaam. A few weeks after he had completed his pilgrimages, his Hajj and he had now basically completed his mission. If we know the seal of the provinces of Spain,

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23 years calling and preaching, he was thrown out of Makkah. He was 14, he was attacked many times and Al Hamdulillah, Allah had granted him victory. And all of what we call the Arabian Peninsula. This is Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Oman, Dubai, Qatar, Kuwait, these countries had all basically embraced Islam, and the whole peninsula was with him and they perform hajj and amazing pilgrimage, he returns to Medina, and a few weeks after this, he begins to feel sick, he begins to have a fever, and the sickness begins to increase and increase. And it was the proper salams habit as we see that he would visit all of his wives equally. And as his sickness increased, and he was unable to visit everyone.

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It showed where he felt most comfortable when you would ask him to heighten Bahati. He asks his wives, he calls all of them together. So they're all around him. And he says, We will be tomorrow, we will be tomorrow, meaning we should I stay. And they all the lives, you know, even though and we'll get to the jealousy and the competition between them, when they saw him in this in the state, and he was a man that was very, very strong, and he seldomly got sick like this, when they saw him that he was unable to even move around. They realize leading let us put him in a place where he's most comfortable. And he was most comfortable in the house of Ahmed eyeshadow, Yolanda. So they all

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agree that no, you stay in the house of Ayesha, she will look after you. It's a great honor to Malaysia to show that the other co wives agreed that she was the one that looked after him the base, the one that catered for him the most, and the one that brought him his happiness. But even so, we find in these moments, a few days before he passes away from them, the the chemistry the two of them had, right so the problem is sick. He's lying on the bed, and I said looking after him and one of those days he was also quite sick. And she wakes up and she says, Where are all my hadiah Rasulullah Oh, my he is telling him My head is painting so much. So the professor syllabus and he's dying,

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actually, and he knows he's dying. He does. He doesn't know that. He says to her, oh, Ayesha, you should actually feel my head. You know?

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Your head is bad. But if you really felt how bad my head is, that's how serious it is. And she sees an end he explains to her that of course, the MBL when they get sick, they feel double the pain of anyone else. And then he teases her and he says, you know and you know, I show why are you so worried about being sick? You know, that if you will, if the sickness of use was serious, and you actually pass away, and I'm still alive, then does it not make you happy that I will myself also you I will wash your body, I will shroud you cuff on you, I will make janaza Salah on you, I will make dua for you, and I will bury you myself. So you know, you don't have to feel bad, you know, I'm

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gonna be there for you. And then I shadowed Yolanda looks at him and basically says, you know, and again, this, this chemistry, he she says it you speak about me dying so fondly it as even though you are excited to see me die, so that you can replace me with someone else. And you can be with one of your other lives. And the prophets of Salaam says no, no, no, I don't mean it's not like that, you know, not at all I would, meaning I would really miss you. If you were to go, it would it would hurt me so much. So even in the sickness, they found happiness in each other. And the last day of the life of the prophet SAW Salaam Subhana. Allah, the last moment of his life, the person, the last

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person to see him was the idea that it was good come to know that a few days. So it was a Monday in which the professor passed away. Perhaps that weekend, Saturday and Sunday, he was too weak to go out to perform salah and it was the custom of the professor lamb that Bilaal for years, he would give the other end, and then the profits or some would come out and you'd give the karma and now he was too weak to even come out to perform solid evil once did he miss a Salah in JAMA. And now he was too weak to lead the Salah. And he told Ayesha tell your father abubaker to lead the Salah. And so I will block it out in the lead the solar for a few days. And then it was fired on Monday morning. And

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I'm working at began to lead the solar. And in the profit wasallam he gets up in the house of Ayesha and we sit outside Russia is right next to the masjid. In fact, the door is by basically close to where the Imam stands. So he comes and the person lamp removes the curtain, he basically opens the door and the Sahaba and insula and abubaker is leading. And the masjid erupts, you know, Sahaba are so happy because for days now the person was ill, and they you know, they were concerned. And the Sahaba mentioned that they couldn't concentrate on the solder, because it was like the full moon, the light of the province of salams face had you know, it comes through the masjid. And they wanted

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to break this Allah for him to lead, you know, back, he wanted to come back and so that the person could lead and the person and basically motion for them to stand to remain like that. He just wanted to see Zuma for the last time this was the last time you got to see them. You wanted to watch him performance, Allah, knowing that he had done his mission. I mean, after this, I mean he had closed the curtain, he went back to his room. And then he sickness, you know intensified his fever in the lake intensified. And I share with you on how she found nothing that she could do really, except to hold him she was holding him and reciting Quran and rubbing his head. And, you know, at some time

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after that her brother came to visit, and her brother was using a miswak and solemn motion for it. So I should say I took the miswak from my brother, and I chewed the other side so that I could he wanted to brush his teeth, the proper lamp was brushing his teeth, why he's preparing himself to meet a bar, he knew that that was coming and, of course, prepare himself. And so she says, of the great honors that Allah had blessed me with is that he was in my arms, you know, the last moments of his life, and that I was alive was had mixed because I had chewed the miswak i'd softened it for him. And he used it to brush his teeth. And then after a few months, you know, after you know a few

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moments had gone maybe half an hour or so. She heard him mumbling some words and she couldn't understand What was he saying? And he was saying, Allah, Allah, meaning the companionship of most high with those that are high up meaning Allah subhanaw taala and the pious people, and he felt that his body had basically become hazy against the chest, his face, His head was against the chest. And Allah subhanho wa Taala decreed the solemn rule my soul had been taken. And in the process my passed away in her arms, and this, of course, was the most difficult moment in her life. This was the saddest moment in her life, something that she had not expect, as expected. In fact, the entire

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Muslim oma at that moment in time, was thrown into a huge tragedy, and it was in her arms. So the professor lamb passed away, you know, as a habit would come to get the composure, we would come to know that the Sahaba didn't even know what to how to be the problem. They had imagined a day like this could come. It's like for us imagining the sun not rising. Tomorrow morning. They thought that, you know, this man would be with Him forever, really. And when they got together and they discussed we should we believe them. They

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There was a hadith which they mentioned that a that a prophet of Allah does not die except by permission meaning Mulliken mode, the angel of death, must ask permission, may I pull your soul out of the honors of being a prophet. And he says, that's what he was saying, when he was saying, Allah, Allah, he was responding to the angel of death, when the Angel of Death asked him when he went to go, so he said, I want to go up, I want to be with those on top. And a prophet of Allah does not die, except in the place he's most comfortable, the place which brings him the most happiness. So he was in her arms in the house way, in the process, Allah wanted to die, we actually felt the most

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comfortable, and he was the fool at that spot on her bed, where he was buried the same place which the two of them lay next to for so many years, that is the spot with the persona is very controlled today. If we visit Medina, that is exactly the house of Russia, the room of Russia, where the person was, was very solo and he was sending them. So we will continue inshallah about speaking a few more in another episode and our mother Ayesha, what did she do after the difficult because she was still quite young and she would love many, many years. She had an exciting history after the demise of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam before we conclude just a reminder, that inshallah this Saturday the sixth

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of October after Isha but of course eight in the evening, yeah, at pink street in bronto in the blue cup, just opposite Bismillah basically Bismillah restaurant, we will have an open a out under the stars evening, I'll make me on Elm Street, the night of the data who will discuss the issues pertaining to the battulga will discuss issues related to data and the events of the cover and how to best prepare ourselves for this not something which we take lightly, but it's something which we need to remind ourselves, of course, inshallah, we also encourage our youth to come and we try inshallah, to make the atmosphere something which is conducive for learning. So please attend. It's

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free of charge for males and females as well. So please, we hope to see you the chucklehead Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh