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The Best of All Delights
Channel: Muhammad West
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So that was salam ala Chefin mousseline. So you didn't know Mohammed Ali. He was like a big Marine. My beloved brothers and sisters, the Sudan widecombe rahmatullah wa barakato.
Al Hamdulillah. Malala mean always and it will begin with the praise and thanks of Allah Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah will testify that there is none worthy of worship besides Allah subhanaw taala and we send a greeting so beloved, Nabina, Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, to his pious in his pure family, to his companions and all those who follow his sunnah until the end of time, that Allah let us be amongst them. I mean, I mean, well, hamdulillah Al Hamdulillah. Today, Inshallah, I'm going to talk to you about the greatest treasure and the best delight of the world. Nothing can be this enjoyment. We spoke last week about Black Friday and what you can buy and enjoy.
But this thing is the greatest treasure, the big thing that will bring you the most happiness in this dunya. And that is, of course, as the newbie some said, a pious spouse, happy marriage, this was gonna be some nemesis, and
alasa subhanho wa Taala had intended from day one, that we will be created incomplete, that we would not be at our full happiness until we find the right partner. And the best understanding of this is that Jana, which has the best holidays, the best houses, the best clothes, the best food is not enough. If you're alone. If you went to Jana, and you were single, you won't enjoy Jana to the max. That's why our father Adam and his Sadam hola que sera Madhava. And even more so than a visa Salam says, and they will not be a single person in Ghana that's unmarried. Some people you know, in the dunya, they pass away and didn't get married. Some of the great scholars never got married mahari
For example, people got married. But in Jana, you must be married. To enjoy the completeness of happiness, you must have a partner. This is how Allah created us. The angels don't have partners, they don't have female versions. Jibreel is one one type. But Allah intended that we are incomplete. And that's why when they say complete half your deen of your Eman you will only truly experience a complete life. When you have that partner may Allah grant us all to have happy employees and managers.
Allah subhanaw taala explains in perhaps what is the most romantic verse in the Quran,
about marriage. And for those who are not married, this is what you look for, in your husband in your wife, for those who are married. This is what we aspire Our marriage is to be like, it's not like that we make the art to get the but first on our side, we make the effort and each other the partner will reciprocate. So we speak to the husband first and many times Allah this is the main first and Allah says and as I said, no author or poet said anything about love more than Allah. The greatest compliment anyone has given love is Allah when he says whelming 80 of the signs that I exist, of the evidence is that is there isn't Allah is that feeling that you have when you are on
your honeymoon? All of us I hope you felt the high of love. Allah says You cannot replicate that. You can't go to you can't buy anything that will give you that pleasure. You can't go to a doctor and say, bring it back. You can go to a doctor with a heart that is failing and they can replace it. But he's a doctor my heart is broken. She doesn't love me. nothing he can do. Allah says of the science that this thing is beyond human control. That there is an Allah is that he created all of you in peace in hubs when unfussy come from yourselves as well as partners from amongst yourselves. Lita school, Ilya white Allah create men and women and this goes in a little bit into gender. Today
we have a war between men and women male if your gender and masculinity, femininity and feminism. Allah says the reason why you have men and women Lita school is that you may find peace in each other, that you may complement each other, that her femininity will bring you that which you need as a man and you as a man will give her what she needs as a woman that is widely Tuscan wilayah the word sukoon you know when we when we the bodies are equal sukoon there is no movement, there's no sound, meaning there's no deviation, the heart is at peace, the heart is settled. So Allah says that you find that partner that the right woman, the right husband, that you may find Sakina the Tuscany
ilaha wotja, Allah, Muhammad Rama, then Allah goes on, and he says that I'm sure I've given the syllabus I have many times, as Allah says here, the secrets to a happy and successful marriage. What did they say, remains a secret. The secret to a successful marriage remains a secret, but Allah gives a secret he says wotja Allah, I am the one. I am that secret ingredient which Allah Bina Kumada wa Rama that I am the one that places in your marriage mawatha And Rama mawatha is deep love and affection and Rama is mercy mawatha for the honeymoon. When things are good, hunky dory, you see eye to eye that's what you feel. Allah puts my word that in the Rama for when things are not so good
when you're arguing. When you don't
See the best in your partner? When you are at odds with one another when the baby screaming at two o'clock in the morning, you have Rama, I still care about you. I still respect you. I still want what's good for you. But yes, you can have the biggest argument and you're not talking to another and you say, but yeah, I put petrol in the car for you. No problem, you know?
Because I care about you. And this is one of all of us, some of you Masha Allah, Allah has maybe not blessed you in certain areas, but he blessed you with a marriage with Muhammad. That's a great blessing. Not everyone has that. Some. The marriages are up and down. At the very least, it should not be listened Rama. At the very least, you must not disrespect one another. There's always a question. When do I know when to get divorced, divorced haram. When you start disrespecting one another and you're committing sin against each other, then you need to look is this is this marriage good for me. Allah says Never let it get less than mercy and kindness.
enough either. Luckily I only call me at the funnels. And in that is an iron is a sign that I exist. And we've mentioned this before in our series on happiness. That this is not only from insomnia we in sometimes we need the professors to tell us what we know what they need to be true from the Quran and the Sunnah, that the secret of happiness. I mentioned that the longest study in human history, Harvard University, they studied from about 100 years ago, they took a group of people, they track their life, some of those boys became presidents, some went to jail, some died young, they looked at them. And they wanted to understand what makes life happy. Some became billionaires, some people
went to jail. And they concluded after these many, many years of studies, that the secret to a happy life lies in your relationships, particularly your marriage. Those who had a happy marriage, irrespective of the bank account, irrespective of where they lived, if they were happy with the wife or the husband, they were happy people. And similarly, the ones even though some of them were presidents, if the marriage wasn't happy, they were not happy. So they said we expected this and he confirmed it. Your life. Happiness is dependent on your relationships, what they did, and what they didn't expect to find. This was also something new for them, that it also
extended your life. This was something they didn't expect. Usually, when you want to assess if someone is going to live 50, another 10 years, 20 years, we'll look at how's the sugar, how's the diabetes, what they realized was that the guys who had the happiest marriages also live longer. Subhanallah I don't know when the medics not so happy the Allah take me take me you're making but many to Allah, both husband and wife, right. But they Subhanallah as they said, it was more of an indicator, if you're going to live to 80 the status of your marriage compared to your cholesterol
Anila This is what the Harvard University figured out.
So you're going to live long
by your wife Rose. I don't have the wives kill the husbands because they were so miserable. But this is what they realized. And again, we shouldn't be amazed with what either Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam say, if you want your life to be extended, be good to your relatives. Allah will increase your lifespan. When we are born, we have an expiration date. But that expiration date can change only for very specific things. One of it is if you're good to your family, keep family ties, but in particular, your wife and that is why Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam when he says this world is a matar. It's beautiful. It's nice. It has many, many nice things. Islands you can relax on things you
can enjoy. But the best Mata, the best delight of the dunya is a good woman with a good husband. That is the priceless, can't beat that.
We also don't have this notion, like the Western notion that this is one person soulmate for you. Now she can be any way she can be in China or Brazil, whatever. No, no, it doesn't work that way. The person you marry
can become that soulmate.
We know from the Hadith and evidences people are created in groups in batches. And anyone in that batch, if you meet them, you'll get along. And if the other batch comes, you don't get too long. So just find a woman that's in your batch, and then inshallah it will be happy.
And so if you really want to invest in something, and you want to spend your money on something, and you want to give up your energy and your time and all of that, invest in your relationships, because the world we live in it says to you invest in your career, kill yourself. Use your health and your youth. You earn some money, you'll get to a big position and then you'll be happy. Know what the science is telling you and more. So what the Sharia is telling you if you want to live a happy life in
Based on your relationships, spend time with your parents, your kids, and in particular your spouse. Don't give 100% to your boss, give 100% to your wife.
Don't spend hours and hours at the office if you don't have to. rather spend hours and hours on your family, and your husband and your wife that isn't shallow, it's gonna give you ultimate happiness, spending more time with your loved ones, will ultimately bring you more happiness.
There's a marriage conference coming up. And there's so many topics to be discussed. But one area I wanted to speak about. For those who are not married. This is what What Women Want some young guys here what to look for in a wife what to look for in Aspen. And for those who are married. These are what's the point I already chose, I can't return it now. It's too late now. Maybe it's important for you to understand what your wife really wants. Yes, she can return you too late to return to sender. But it's good to know what it is that women want to machete perspective, Enter. And we're going to talk about what the science tells you and what and that's what you need to be. Remember one, when
Allah speaks about change, he always speaks to the main first. So the marriage is not so good. The husband starts you do this, you you do first, you'll be the bigger person. You make the effort. Now the board is in her court either she plays ball Subhanallah things don't go well as not every manager is hunky dory. But look at what so this is I'm going to talk about what women look for. The results on them says to the sisters, sometimes women don't also know what they're supposed to look for. They look for the wrong things and men. Then obese woman says to our sisters and to the the father of the women, the Willie, if they comes to you, a man who has really he has Eman he has he
has Dean is religiously committed meaning he does the basics he makes Salah, the Wali of the only of Allah He does what is the basic of a Muslim and he has a HELOC and his good character, meaning he does the basics to Allah. But how he is with people is good.
If such a man comes
and character you're pleased with his good character, then don't delay marry you do this to the sky. Irrespective of the bank account irrespective marry you do this to this man. Because they will be fitna if you don't also, as Scott has mentioned, if a man
you don't know what he's going to do with your daughter when you're alone with her late at night when the babies are screaming, but if you know this man Subhanallah his whole life he never struck someone on the rugby field. He never swore at that one. He never abused his parents in sha Allah, He will respect my daughter the same.
That is what the Nabil Salam says, A man that respects Allah Firstly, it doesn't respect Allah then don't marry that person doesn't have conscious of Allah. And number two, he treats people well. This is the ultimate criteria for successful bozos brothers. If you're a HELOC is not intact, especially with your wife. a HELOC is how you talk how you behave, if your behavior is not good with your wife. That's a big problem as a husband. And when we look at the science now, a lot of surveys on this panel, every female magazine is about what women want. And it's for themselves explaining, you know, trying to figure it out
the qualities that are most desirable for a woman.
Right from a sorry for Islamic perspective, we said religiously committed Good luck. Financial Stability is very important. The Sharia has placed the burden of financial stability on the man as mentioned in the Quran. So finances, you know, we do these meet and greets, where we bring singles together. So big learn good learning experience, we see these young, these single couples not so young, some might even old, they come together and they speak and you listen and find what are the characteristics that attract the girl. And what attracts the men. For ladies, the ladies want to see a guy who's got his life in order. I don't want another child to raise. So financially also secure
and yes, physically appealing. The sisters also believe it or not, they also want to look at something pleasing that leaves them in the bed. So from the western standards, what is the Western scientists tell us? What do women want? They want stable, a man that is stable and mature. Women want a provider and someone to make her feel safe. You don't have to be a billionaire, but also don't stress about money. Don't make a stress about money. They also say number two, he must be attractive, but she must be more attractive. Subhanallah they found that marriages where the man is more attractive than the woman tends to be more problematic. So she must feel okay. He's attractive
but I'm but he's lucky to have me. Then that dynamic seems to work. This is what the Alama of love say.
A lot of
women say that your wife that being funny, sexy, a sense of humor, and a good conversation is far prettier to them than the size of your biceps.
So it'd be a good conversationalist engage
And when we come home from work, we've said all that to say to our boss, to our colleagues, we don't have any words to say, but make that if that is what your wife what your woman wants, and of course, emotionally intelligent understand our sisters mashallah Allah created her as such that her emotions are a lot more robust than ours. Sometimes she can't fully understand her own emotions, that her man that can understand his wife's feelings. He knows when to talk when not to talk, when to agree. There's very few times when we disagree, but when, when to when she's asking a question for an answer. So Allah says, especially the young man, I, she actually comes home and she tells me a
story. I give her response that I'm the bad guy. I don't know how I became the bad guy. We don't know what she's actually saying. There's a conversation and there's underlying conversation hamdulillah with trial and error, you find these things out, but a husband that understands these things. This is what our sisters want. And this goes this aligns with the Sharia and aligns with the sciences. As for the sisters,
you know, we move on what do the what do men want? What do men want? Sorry, before we move to the sisters, one more point very important. In this world of feminism, you might think that women want to be in charge, they don't.
They don't want to be in charge. They want a man that respects them. But take the lead be the man. You decide. You find a way to get to the restaurant that I want. You need to make the decisions for collaborate with me. So assertive for collaborative value my opinion, but take the lead, control the situation, but I know as always control you. That's what this is the same. And subhanAllah. Again, this is part of how the Sharia is and our sisters, this is what they want. Don't believe everything that is in the media. As for all men, well, men are a lot more easier to understand. We're very straight and clear. The most attractive thing to a man is the physical, the external. And this is
how Allah created us, then of Islam says women are married for four qualities, sometimes for her wealth, sometimes for her lineage. What family she comes on, does she have connections to contract and all those things,
her beauty, and of course some of us and the very wise ones marry a woman for her religious her Eman a Taqwa he sees the models in her. And so there'll be some instances. The best one is you choose the one with iman. But you don't have to choose one or the other. Choose the woman that has all of it. She has Eman. She physically appeals to you. She's a good woman, all those things and Hamdulillah. And from
what do we understand? From the
Hadith? May Allah have mercy on a wife? So look at look at the numbers when he says May Allah have mercy on our wife, who stands at night to pray and wakes her husband to pray? If he refuses she sprinkle some water on him, meaning she encourages him to to do good. And
then to be some says, Shall I not tell you about the women of Jana? On Earth? Do you want to know what woman How do I find that this woman that will give a characteristic? The woman of Jana on Earth? They said yes, yes. Who are these ladies? The ladies, when you look at her, she makes you happy? Just looking at her. She pleases you. She's beautiful. And also she brings your heart peace. And if she gets angry or she's mistreated, she doesn't reciprocate with that. And if there's unhappiness between the husband and the wife, then she's the first one to take the hand of the husband and save my my my husband, year is my hand in yours. I will not sleep until you are pleased
with me. When you find these women inshallah
we don't know where they are. They're very, very, very, very, I don't know, they still make this woman. But that's why the novices these are the women of Jana. Our time is up.
But then a visa Salam, as I said, concludes with this hadith to the meaning particular, the best of all men,
the best of all men, not the one who makes the most urgent, not the one who has memorized the most Quran, the best of the best of the best, is the one who makes his wife the happiest is best to his wife. And the best of all women as an OB some says is the one who is under who respects her husband, who pleases her husband who assists her husband such a woman as the responses when she passes away. Allah will say to her into from whichever Do you want to see to this one man don't see to the OMA. This one man is your your agenda. And our brothers. This one woman is your agenda. May Allah grant us that our families our wives will be the coolness of our eyes. A few announcements. So all of this
is a marriage conference that starting this weekend for those who would like to attend. It's happening on Sunday at 100. LeBron the ticket is 250 Muranos has tickets for one and then so anybody wants to attend. Maybe you know the neighbors. They argued they might need it. You buy the tickets and give it to them as a gift. You know
So inshallah we selling tickets for the marriage conference. It's the at the back. We're also the VOC Festival at the ethylone stadium from this evening from this afternoon it's starting, please assist Ronald has a standing by something inshallah for the masjid. And then for anyone we're having a umara course next week so a lot of us from the law you're going on umara planning and umara one day workshop next week Sunday from eight 8:30am of the morning until the word we'll do the eighth Tuesday of humara. So inshallah you know all your rituals for those who like to sign up, let me know inshallah we'll be in the masjid to cycle or hate or salah, say no Mohammed Yusuf Islam Crystaline
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