Choosing Your Tribe

bIllahi min ash shaytaan rajim Bismillah R Rahman Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salatu salam ala should have been listening CD now Muhammad Ali he was a big marine my beloved brothers and sisters I said Mr. Li Kumar have a library go to

Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen always we will begin by praising and thanking Allah Masha Allah Allah Allah Allah we declare we testify is none worthy of worship besides you, Ya Allah. And we send our love our greetings and salutations to beloved Nabi Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, to his pious with your family, to his companions, and all those who follow the Sunnah until the end of time, may Allah bless us to be amongst them. I mean, I mean, when hamdulillah Al Hamdulillah. It's been a busy couple of weeks for for some of us, for some of you, our kids are starting new grades, some of them might be going from primary school to high school to varsity, some of you like me

starting a new job, and you get to see new faces.

And we as a species, we are called in sun. And one of the meanings of insaan is that you cannot exist on your own. Allah subhanaw taala had made it such that we are a tribal people, societal people, we live in groups. And Islam gives us guidance of the type of associations the type of connections we should have, in fact, Islam values, and we know this even now, psychologically, the value of having good human interactions is more important. It's priceless. And when usually we have these conversations about choosing good friends, and being in good company, we usually talk to our kids in school, don't worry about you know, sit in the front of the class, don't be with the guys at

the back, avoid the guys who are smoking and but how much of our decisions as adults, the jobs we take, the cars we buy, the things we're interested in, is based on social pressure, where we put our kids in school, where we going to go out for the weekend it is to compete or to match with the tribe that we're in. And therefore Islam gives you guidance, to tell you about the consequences of choosing good friends, good company. And if you choose the wrong tribe, in a beautiful Hadith than a resource, Allah mentions a concept of the soulmate. We're not one person you know, the soulmate in the Western cultures, you have this one person that you fall in love with, and that is your husband

or your wife. Well, Islam has a similar concept, but its soul friends, the prophets of salaam says in a hadith in Bukhari, that the souls were created in batches, Allah created souls in batches. And they are like soldiers in a regiment in a battalion. And so Allah created this group of souls, and then they were spread all over the world, this group came to select one came to Africa, one went to China went to wherever. And so you were all made in the soul factory in this batch. And so he says, those whom you recognize, so when a person that recognizes somebody of that similar batch, they get along very well. And I'm sure you've met someone, you like I haven't met you. But it's like I could

speak spend time forever, we just get along so perfectly, we click with the right chemistry. So this is concept in Islam, and those who they don't recognize, which means the souls are not from the same cloth for the same batch, they just they pass each other. It might be your brother might be a sibling, you grew up, but you could never have a great relationship. We're just so different. It's possible. And so the Sharia tells you that you will have deep connections with people instinctively, based on a type of soul connection, and

choosing correctly, and having a good social circle, and making good friends, like we spoke about last week. It is a means by which you can enter Jannah you don't have to enter Jannah only through tagit or fasting, being a very good friend, might be the reason why you enter Jannah in a beautiful Hadith and Muslim, then also mentions a man who went to visit his brother meaning his friend, but not his biological brother, he went to another town, he went on a road trip to go and visit his friend. And so Allah sent an angel to meet on the way and this person bumped into the angel, the angel is a is in the form of a man. And so the angel asked this man, where are you going? So he

said, I'm going to see my friend in this town. And so the interviewer asked him, Are you doing this because he's done? You have you done any favor to him and you expect somebody payment? You want some monetary gain from this trip? He said, No. I'm just going to express my love for him to go and socialize with him because I miss him and for the sake of Allah to be a good friend. And so the angel then says to the man, I am an angel sent by Allah and to inform you that

Allah loves you, as you love your friend, that Subhanallah you make a date with your girlfriends or your when I say girlfriend, sisters COVID It's not guys here are your male friends to have a boys night whatever Halal Sharia compliant boys night out to talk and to connect. And you get rewarded for that. And Allah loves that. And you are actually a means by which you enter Jannah.

Islam also teaches us that to be friendly, and to show good nature is a level of your iman. And I find this conversation happens many times people will say, you know, I don't like Sonic people because they're like the worst in terms of character. They're the first people in the software. No offense to the guys. Yeah, no, you're not like that. But they first in the software. They're the worst people outside. There's something wrong with your Eman. If it's like that, then Amazon says, The believer, a person was through Iman is friendly in his demeanor. He's friendly with everybody, Muslim, non Muslim, with someone rich, poor, wherever it is, he's friendly. If you were to ask

anyone, your co worker, your employee, your boss, describe Ahmed says a friendly is a cheerful person. He's a friendly guy, a friendly person. And he's easy to befriend. People want to be friends with him. And then the Prophet says salsa lamb, there is no goodness, there's no hate, there's no goodness in a person who is neither friendly. He's not has no good demeanor, and people don't want to be around him. And the best people are those people who are benefit to others. They're always ready to help each other that is the best of people. So while we are friendly to everybody, Islam also teaches us and this is maybe the conversation we have with our kids with ourselves. When we

choose our peer group, to be selective in those we bring very close to us. So we friends with everybody. But when we talk about Sahaba Sahaba, those who accompany us, those who are involved in our lives on a day to day those who impact us, they we need to be selective. And so Allah says in surah Kahf, which we all know the ayah Allah says is going to be so solemn, was sweet enough second Allah any other honorable humble ohada will actually UD who Allah says Keep yourself busy. Keep yourself contented stay with the people who think about who are engaged with the Lord in the morning and the evening. Only seeking Allah's pleasure. Allah says Allah because Allah, you busy yourself

with a company of people that seek Allah's pleasure. What can we do to reduce Xena to higher to dunya and never take your eyes off them so Hana Allah saying, don't even look beyond them don't look beyond the people who are worshipping Allah who are in a process of being closer to Allah seeking and being mislead by the glitter of this life. And Allah says what are often called Bamboo and they clean our taba our camera photo, and Allah Subhana Allah says, and avoid people whose hearts are empty of my remembrance, people who have no focus of Allah in their life, who have nothing of, of wanting more of being a better person, Allah says avoid them, because the entire life is how they

just follow the next desire, the next enjoyment, this are kinda Amaroo Furuta. And they meet they affairs are of no use.

And we need to be selective because our friends impact us. Every single one of us here are impacted by offerings. So what it what it what Whatsapp group you're in, and the one that you're most active in. I don't know if maybe it's the family chat. I hope it's not the word chat. It's keeping you busy. With a sports chat to the unknown, some, some some score, enthusiast chats get crazy, but the social groups that you're in will impact you. And we know this hadith that says the example of a good friend, and a bad friend, the good friend is like the person who sells perfume, just being around him, you're going to smell nice, you're going to pick up his habits, you're going to pick up

his good characteristics, you will either give you some perfume, you will actually acquire a skill from that person. So this guy knows how to use I don't know.

I mean, not only do we not only talking Dean, maybe your good friend is the person who is the master at Excel or PowerPoint, whatever. And just by being with him, you will learn a trick or two. And if you don't get a skill from him, just by being in his company, you will start smelling good. You will he will brush up on you. And the likelihood and the profits of this and the likeness of a bad friend is like somebody who is a working with with smoke and fire. If you get too close to him, his bad habits will burn you. You will pick up his bad habits or her bad habits you will start speaking like them, you will start thinking like them and even if you don't pick up the bad habits mean doesn't

burn you. Just by being in a company. It will have a negative connotation on you. You will be part of oh you have so and so is friends with that group. It's just human nature.

The Prophet Solomon says even more scary is very very scary for every one of us to think about. Think about our kids think about the schools they're gonna go to the frames they're gonna give up bring home, the provinces iPad

Lesson is on the dean of his Helene, you will be on the religion of your best friend. If you have a BFF, you've got a special friend or a special group of friends, most likely your Eman is the average of that group. So if the group is a very pious group, most likely you will go along with a group. If the group is a very naughty group, you will be also on that level less than most people are on the deen on the way of life of the Khaleel. So look at who your friend is, look at who your best friend is.

He says that the best of friends, if you want to ask Who should I be friend and take someone into my confidence. He tells you solo Salam, a good friend, is somebody that helps that helps you in remembering Allah. What this means is he helps you to be a good person. He helps you to be a better husband, a better student, a better employee. So when you want to do something good, he encourages you. And he reminds you, when you forget, when you're off the path where you've done something wrong, he gives you a good reminder, and you come back, and he gives you good advice when you can. So when you're doing good, he helps you when you're doing bad. He reminds you and when you confuse

what should I do, he gives you good counsel, you can go to him or her and they'll give you good advice. And he says your friends, the believers are like the bricks, one enforcing another, you should ask yourself, we all have friends, am I like that to my friend? Do I support them in a time of need? Do I encourage them when they're down? And am I the person that they can lean on and support when they're going through difficulty another Hadith and it's so many Hadith and friendship, the prophecies, the believer is a mirror to his brother, what does that mean a mirror that when you want to, when they go off course or they need to be corrected, you give them a reflection of what

they should be. So you know, you look at the mirror and you straighten yourself out. So your friend is that mirror, the mirror is are they to to judge you, but they'll tell you, you put on a few pounds, you know, it's just between the two of us. But you don't you know something's out of place. So you're free. Your friend is that confidant, that person that gives you sound advice, even when it's bitter, even though you don't like to hear it, but he's going to give you that advice for your sake because he loves you more than he loves it that you are that then the companionship is your betterment is more important. Then the Prophet says the worst offerings. Now think of your social

circles. And many times and we have to say this the proximate status with women in particular, sometimes our our friends make us feel bad about ourselves, we go they put us down with a competition, you actually feel worse by meeting them than everyone says the worst of people are those who when you meet them, what they do is they talk and the gossip about others, the entire social interaction is to speak badly about other people. And that they are a negative influence in relationships, they cause disruption in relationships, they make the you know, the husband goes and spends time with a group. I mean, he was fine his wife, now some you know, speaking to his friends,

oh, your wife is like this and like that. And now he sees problems in his relationship. And the same with with the wives. So he says a bad friend is someone that gossips about others that causes animosity within relationships, and they wish hardship on others. They don't make they don't want good for you. When you go forward, they make you feel negative about yourself or someone else. They actually bring you down and you find a lot of people, they are in groups like that. And we should talk to our kids and say, sometimes being with a popular group makes you feel terrible, makes you feel bad. What is best for you and your development. And sadly, it continues even whether you're

seven or 17 or 70 the CIO continues to behind Allah.

So the consequences and there's two to it that I share with you, which gives you an idea that really tells you about the consequence of a bad friend.

Allah says in the Quran, oh my god do volume Allah your day and on the day when the wrongdoers will bite on the hands they will bite their hands. Yeah, cool. Yeah late anyway, so Oh, woe to me like what what did I do? Yeah, later need to hug tomorrow. So Lisa de la wa why, how stupid I was. Why didn't I listen to The Gambia? Why didn't I walk the path of the Gambia? Yo a letter? Oh, woe to me. How are you? Great. Later Neelam Mulan and kalila Whoa, to me how I wish I had never taken you as my friend on piano.

Groups of people will sit with one another and they will blame you just because of you. I, I. I did things out of peer pressure. I did things which will determine to me I knew they were wrong. But it was just because we were in the group. Why did I take you as a friend you are of no benefit to me. You have no purpose to me. You had no you only cause wrong to me. So be conscious that one of you

biggest regrets. One of the biggest regrets that we could have on the day of karma

is because of the friends that we have.

And I almost want us to think very carefully and dearly about the people we're going to meet this weekend over that. Oh, the people we have plans with all the really good for me. Do they bring benefit to my Deen? Do they bring benefit to my worldly affairs, too? Is there any financial benefit some people were bad for you deem the bad for your health? The bad for your money? Like, why am I even in this relationship.

And it's one of the people that's gonna really influence you in your life. These are the people you can choose. Look, you can't choose your your parents. You can't choose your children, your colleagues and co workers, they're almost situational because you're in that environment, you meet them and you cordial with them. But the friends that you bring home, that's your choice. These are the people you have the right to bring in or exclude. And so think very carefully. So this is a bad friend, on the day of karma. Imagine Subhan Allah, some people are gonna say, Why did I ever be friends with you, you are a complete you, you've ruined me. Then you have the other side in a

hadith, which I love so much is a very, very long Hadith. But this part is probably my favorite part of it. Non Kiama There are stages, or steps just give some context, this hadith. And this hadith tells you about a lot of the stages of karma. The one stage is the deeds are being presented. I mean, that's a scary moment where you're going to get your, your mark like your skin, your life, it's going to be presented to you, then it's going to be weighed, and you're going to be judged whether you succeed or fail the past. Once you've got your results, you must cross over the Sirat the bridge over Jahannam

and every man is gonna run depending on your deeds, how good you are. And everything is happening in batches. You're not alone, you are in a group. So you would people you know. And so imagine this moment you rush and you stumble and you puke and you cross over the Sirat. Once you make it another side, you've made it now it's Jana. So you made it over. You're happy, you're cheering I've made it happen. I'm going to Jana, and you turn around and your friend that was with you is gone. He fell. It's not me.

And this is where the Hadith comes in. The next one says, I swear by Allah, I swear by the one whose hand is my life holds my life, they will be none

more eager to claim their rights or to claim or to argue meaning there'll be no people more argumentative and Kiama no one is going to be more honest with whom with Allah. No one is going to be more interested in arguing with Allah than the believers

and account for the brothers who are in Jannah. Now, I want you to imagine this Do you ever do I have a friend like this? Who will cross the Sirat pass Jahannam see Jana is about to get to Jana and he says I'm not gonna go I'm gonna turn around and go back over the syrup and speak to Allah. Do we have friends like that? He's going to go back. And he's going to argue with Allah. So the prophecy is no one is more argumentative than a believer will come back and argue to Allah and He will say, Oh Allah,

this person who was with me, I vouch for him. He used to force Ramadan with us, we pass it together, we had put it together, I assume that Ravi together, we made Salah together I know is that he went and had chosen Jana Mia Allah, and you will continue to argue,

then Allah will really test this man's friendship and Allah will say, now go into Johanna, you go into Jahannam and find him.

Now who is going to walk through a burning house for you?

Oh, this is a measure of friendship. So Allah will say now go into jahannam. Go find him and take him out. And they will integer num and take out those whom you recognize, then this person will integer number the Fire won't burn them. And they will take out as many people that they see you will also in the masjid or that put it member from the mercy. And Allah will allow them to take out as many as they want. Now many of us have friends like this. How many of us, as were the scholars mentioned, when you choose a friend,

think of your janazah. Think of who you want to stand and make Salah behind you who's dua is going to be a value when the day you die, who are the people you want to carry to your cover and put you in the grave. And who's going to make dua for you, when you're not the other even making dua for you now that you're alive when you're going through difficulty. And this is sort of when we starting a new chapter and you make new characters in the chapter of your life. There's always good, bad and the ugly. Make sure you choose people that is going to benefit you in the dunya and akhira. May Allah bless us to be in the base of people in the company of the base of people. May Allah grant us

all in the agenda together. Just a few announcements. Firstly, last week, we had our orphan outing and we said

to all those who sponsored and support so many of you that sponsor one or two or three orphans, we were able to take them to the aquarium we say thank you thank you to the aquarium for hosting the orphans unique app company

He's that helped us unique app and Fox transport and super parks skatepark skating pot pocket. v&a is a great place to bring your kids so we say this accolade for them for hosting us. The second announcement is we are launching our hydrogen tomorrow guide and we hope in sha Allah for those who have been on Hajj and Umrah you know that you just want a nice reference book. Where do I go what do I do you don't want it like an encyclopedia but you also want enough just to go by so we are launching a brand new hajj and umrah guide which we hope would be and we hope that people are going to take this on Hajj with them they're going to set an auto fine they take out the Bronto guide what

do i do i make Yeah, what do I do I make the serve anybody this is like a once in a lifetime opportunity if you'd like to sponsor a page for a family member have passed away or company that likes to take out a page a sponsorship of as an opportunity so as an individual you can take out a paycheck on the side swab of my grandmother you never know someone takes that page with them on Hajj on Arafa and they open Oh Auntie so and so passed away let mama go to Alpha three and read I think it's a very so I think it's going to go for us so please inshallah those who are keen. I think we only have about a week left to so inshallah so please just let us know. I mean, lastly,

the third of Feb Saturday, Saturday, the third of Feb. We have a first aid training course. Um, usually this course cost about 1000 grand I think giving us a discount through the mosque. So if you want to do a learn first aid I think if you don't want a Lima or teacher or anything like you deal with people, or the first aid captain of the world come there's a discount in sha Allah and you will get a certificate so it's a it's an official certificate in terms of first aid training. So we're always interested, please let us know in sha Allah, and all donations are welcome Zach Lehane was Allah say now Muhammad Ali Allsop Islam understanding hamdullah Ramadan Amina Santa Monica, la

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