Fiqh Of Love Episode #4 Why Do We Marry
Channel: Muhammad Salah
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salam ala crafts Allah Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salatu wa salam ala Rasulillah salam alaikum. My name is John Fontaine, and we're here for yet another episode of the thick of love. And today I'm joined again with Sheikh Dr. Mohammed salah, Slocum chef, was salam after lunch today and every day today, shall And subhanAllah shake. Thanks for joining us again. Appreciate it as we've been discussing the fact of love. In last episode, we were discussing all about love, love and happiness of Hello. And today we want to ask you, why do we get married? Just answer the question. As Muslims, why do we why? What are the reasons? What are some of the reasons
Sure, sure, actually getting married. First of all, marriage is actually to satisfy an instinctual need.
This is a human nature. As a matter of fact, it's not only among the humans, the Almighty Allah says that he has created everything in pairs. So human beings, Jen coin, animals, even the plants are males and females, and there is some sort of attraction between them. And there is a need for the continuation of the species to get married, to be together. But from an Islamic perspective, in addition to all of that, and
satisfying the physical need and more or need.
The Prophet sallallahu Sallam teaches us such as in the sound Hadith, which is Narrated by Abu Lahab numerous ODE may Allah be pleased with him.
He says, Yeah, ma showed us a Chabad manasota, Amin como at affiliate as I watch,
and then he answers why he says all young people whoever can afford to get married, they let him get married immediately do not delay as why. He said for inner who are arboreal Basa will follow that flourish. Because it is indeed better in respect of lowering the gaze and refraining your
you fade or filling in the person from looking at what Allah has forbidden, looking at the beauty of woman who is not lawful for him. Why, because he's already having a wife, you know, where I follow in Forge. And if a person manages to lower his gaze, that will lead to garden his chastity. The same applies to the women by the way. So in this hadith, the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam says that when Allah subhanaw taala forbids anything he provides the alternative. So It's haram to form a cake. It's haram to do anything that may lead to fornication, such as beginning with the look
and the commandment of lowering the gays. Secondly, forbidden anything, which would come as an introduction to an illicit relationship, going out dating, conversion with the with the opposite gender unnecessarily, especially with private matters, and so on. So number one reason why we get married in order to guard our chastity because there is a human need a physical human need, that it is indigenous who are created with it is within us to have this physical pleasure, physical relationship. I'm talking about normal, ordinary human beings of course. So if it is not satisfied in halal, it would be satisfied otherwise. And that's why
in Surah to nourish chapter number 24, the Almighty Allah says Alia staff if he leadin Allah you do Nanika Han had to near home alone and father.
So the ayah refers to those who cannot afford to get married. He advised them to do is their faff to refrain themselves from having an illicit relationship or sexual relations outside marriage until Allah Almighty enrich hands them out.
of His Bounty. The Prophet sallallahu cinema said manasota Amin gotten better at affiliate as I watched the Hadith which we discussed in the beginning of Abdullah Massoud, but what if one cannot afford to get married?
Then he said for Allah He was sown for it now whoever would yet so he advised with a temporary solution too fast and too fast as much as you can because it breaks and it lowers it decreases the sexual desire you know, shake some people I know that's the case this is what it mentions. But some people will say when they first it doesn't lower the sexual desire. Do you know why was because also the prophets Allah Allah on Islam
taught us fasting is an only abstaining from eating and drinking. He said well lambda now he said in the Hadith, mela Mia Darko Lazuli Rama la vie Phyllis la had a few and the other parama who shut up so fasting it assume definitely have some some Oka Alia some bizarro is not only abstaining from eating and drinking, also you abstain from looking at what Allah has forbidden. So you're fasting, but you're watching porn. You're fasting and when you go to the mall, you never lower your gaze, and we walk in the street. So it's basically you are on diet, but you're not actually fasting, the actual fasting of Ramadan increases and it boosts the level of Imam because you're afraid in regular
days, sometimes you look here and there but why fasting, I'm afraid that will affect my fasting. So you lower your gaze.
If you chat with people and sometimes you indulge into vein poke and crack jokes and and so on, while fasting usable your mouth because you know you're fasting failure called in sight. So when the Prophet sallallahu Sallam says all young people if you can afford to get married, get married, because it helps you to refrain to hurt to lower your gaze and to refrain from illicit relations. And if you cannot afford to get married, the temporary solution is to fast the actual fasting. Yes, not the physical fasting from eating and drinking only. Okay, it makes a lot of sense. Shake is would you say? So, would you say that marriage is recommended or that strongly recommended for a
Muslim to get married in Islam and in fact, there are five Afghan five rulings, there is the
and there is the recommended
and there is the permissible and there is the mcru or disliked and then there is the haram. Again, those five rulings,
the recommended, the permissible, the mcru or disliked and the Haram and marriage can be all of them. I mean either one of them.
So it depends on your situation.
When somebody is having STDs, sexually transmitted diseases
and he wants to marry. No marriage is haram for you. Because you're going to transmit the sexual transmitted disease into this innocent spouse of yours when she doesn't know when he doesn't know. So marriage in this condition is not permissible. It's haram.
When does it become mandatory? When you have the financial means and the physical means you're alive with a woman and you're afraid that you will indulge into adultery, so are you waiting for get married it becomes obligatory to get married.
It becomes a commended when the person have the means you have a very good job, this a nice place to live in. And you know, if you don't get married, it is okay.
But here it is recommended because in Islam marriage in general is recommended in order to form a family have a godly offspring. You and your wife would help each other to be obedient servants to Allah subhanho wa Taala there are many a hadith in this respect. Then when you have obedient children to Allah number one to you, then they will be the continuation to you after you live this life and they will benefit you by making dua the prophets Allah Allah Azza lemma said, Whenever the servant of Allah dies, all his deeds come to an except from three ways. And he mentioned one of them. Well, I didn't Saleh and he had a ruler who
very frequently asked question, can I recite Quran on behalf of my deceased parents? Can I make a sadaqa jariya on behalf of my late husband, can I perform Hajj or Umrah or FERS on behalf of give any charity on behalf of my son who passed away. So when a person dies, and he leaves behind goodly offspring, obedient children, whom he raised as righteous, whenever he dies, he actually did not die, because they are his continuation and her continuation, they make dua for their parents. And that promotes them to higher levels in paradise, it gives them a break in the grave, it will give them the sense and it is a continuous source of income as far as good deeds are worth. This is what
the Prophet sallallahu sallam said, to the extent that the even if the person was not as good, his children would intercede for him on the day of judgment.
So this is when it becomes recommended, permissible. If the person does say that he's got the means he's got the nice house physically fit. I used to busy studying or reading Quran and memorizing and waiting to graduate to be an MD, then his masters and his speciality and oncology or whatever. So if you want to get married, fine, if you want to get married, as long as the thought of having a physical pleasure, is not hunting you chasing you, because if it is, then wait a minute, then you may watch what Allah has forbidden stablish an illicit relationship, then no, no, no, no, it's not permissible anymore, we jump into obligatory what is this other than obligatory medical mandate,
then it becomes disliked, in some cases. Like what?
There are many cases where the person is Oh my, let me give you an example. A person is struggling with one wife, he can barely provide for her. And again, he wants to get married again. Okay. We know that Allah subhanaw taala says in the Quran, thank you, homeopathic woman, and they say you must now so that's all about, but my friend, you can barely make it.
Why would you take a second one? Why do you cannot even afford to take care of the first. So I'm just giving you an example. So the five rulings in Sharia may apply to a nigger or marriage depending on the position and the situation of the individual. Just pressure if we just take that opportunity to have a short break at one level it's very interesting to know that marriage can fall into under all of them categories strong. So stay with us we're going to be right back after the break so don't worry.
Salam when it comes to Allah, welcome back to the thick of love. I'm John Fontaine and we're here joined with Dr. Mohamed Salah Salonika, from Santa Monica to Allah here what a cattle shake. Before the break, you were speaking about the different categories when Subhanallah you mentioned that sometimes marriage can be permissible, sometimes it is haram, etc. And everything in between. Shake. Can you give us some more examples of when marriage can actually be haram? Sure.
I remember once
a girl was divorced, is soon after she got divorced. Her mom picked up the phone and she said, you know my daughter is looking forward to get married. Then I heard people calling me to ask what do you think of this family because I want to marry their daughter. I said, Oh my God, she's already married. They say no, no, no, she's divorced. I know she's divorced. But that was the first divorce, whether first or second or third. There's something cool like that.
So during the ADA or the waiting period, no proposals not only in marriage contract, no proposals. In one of the marriage counseling, I just figured out that the couple of them I was counseling that she was divorced and soon after she got divorced. She married the guy. So just to clarify for the viewers at home. So when someone somebody's married, and then they've, you know, they've they've had a divorce. The husband is a set tilaka is divorced. You said that there's an Edo Period absolute so this is like a waiting period.
says, well moto locka to your thorough bus NaVi unforeseen, SATA, SATA Kuru. So talking about three men
says three periods before
you can even accept marriage proposal. And during this period,
if the husband who just divorced his wife decided to take her back, he may take her back without any need for
dowry or new marriage contract or the consent of the Guardian because they are already semi married. Okay, after the first and the second divorce, so proposal or marriage during the idea is invalid,
whether they're for divorce, or for a widow who lost her husband, somebody died left behind a widow. The head there now is longer and it's not by the menses, it's by the days, the number of days four months and 10 days or Obata asuran mashallah, the Quran says already named with our phone, I mean, Kumada Runa, as well as Robusta be unforeseen orbita asuran washer for months and 10 days during the IDA, which is four months and 10 days for the widow. No one is allowed to directly propose to her or to her family and say I want to marry her.
To respect the honor of the guy who used to be her husband and he died. So there is haram, there are a lot of haram proposes a woman who's already married. So we're talking about during divorce, as you said before, that it is not even permissible to have a second thought, or to allow yourself to think of a woman who's already married. Absolutely. Forbidden. Okay. So Pamela, so even, let's say the, the wife is on her third divorce. So now there is no possibility of the husband taking her back. Correct. So
yeah, there's still an error of the cori cycle. Maybe she's pregnant. Yeah. Right.
So it's not permissible. So Paula, is there any more examples of situations where marriage will be? Of course there are no examples but there's one or she may like, like a man who is already married to full women? Yes. He's not allowed to marry anymore. It's haram Of course.
I mean, shake I heard one shake was telling me that you can marry as many women as you want.
And I was shocked. And then he said what you can only have four at a time. So
we're gonna be talking about the insha Allah and Quran marriage in Islam, what is permissible, what is not permissible in this regard, but on time in sha Allah, who now is just want to bring to your attention and to the viewers attention, that Islam is something very precious it marriage in Islam, something really, really precious. I mean, just before we go off topic, I want to just ask you, is there also an editor for the man? Yes, of course, when you tell me
if in case that he was married to four women and he divorced one of them, he's not allowed to take another wife so long as he's still in died that because during the IDA, he may take her back. What about?
What about if he divorced her for the third time?
Or for the third time that's irrevocable? Okay, I'm talking about during the revocable if, I mean, would this still be in the No, no, okay? Because he cannot marry her anymore. If you cannot take her back me.
The Messenger of Allah peace be upon him made a very interesting remark when some of his companions out of love to him, they wanted to be with him in the same level in paradise. So it started visiting his wives and inquiring about what kind of worship he does, and
so on. So when they figure it out, they decided to do something in order to be with him in the same level in paradise. So most of us know the Hadith, but it has different narrations, like one of them decided, and he made a vow and said, you know, in order to draw closer to Allah, I will never marry, I'll never marry why, because marriage will consume a lot of my time with my wife with the kids. I want to devote all my time for Allah for worship, I want to be a devout worshiper. Another person decided not to sleep on bed, and the third person decided not to eat meat to be vegetarian. And another person decided to fast one every single day. Another one decided to pray on every single
night and not to sleep whatsoever during the night. So in the Messenger of Allah peace, you upon
heard about that? He got
Other use companions. And he said, Mabu acquirement what is wrong are some people who vowed not to do this and to do that. And then he corrected them, beginning by saying that indeed,
I am the most God feeling of all of you, and the most knowledgeable of all of you because he receives our heat from ALLAH. So he reminded them that the Prophet salaallah Salam knows best about Allah more than any of them and knows what will draw them nearer to Allah than what they think themselves. He said yet,
and I beat my fast, I do not fast on every single day, I skipped some days, Mondays, Thursdays, 13th 14th and 15th of every month, and so on. And I pray at night and I also rest. I do not pray for the whole night, and I'm married. So whoever turns away from my sunnah, this is my way. And this is our religion, whoever rejects that whoever decides otherwise, fellow seminary, that he doesn't belong to me, this is very serious. So look, who said it could be permissible, it could be recommended or Whadjuk or disliked but haram by you do not make the permissible haram like you say, you know, I forbid myself getting married. So hello interesting about this, this hadith, because
even the other two points, were regarding the wife about fasting and praying all night because the wife has the rights, you know, to spend time with the host Subhanallah II keep jumping into conclusions, but you know that inshallah we'll be talking about the rights of both spouses, the husband and the wife included in the acts of worship and consuming the whole time for the a bad debt and so on. But the question you raised in the beginning, with regards to Why do get married is actually a very serious question. And whether marriage is permissible or recommended or, you know, nsmt Malik Radi Allahu Allah narrated that the Messenger of Allah peace be upon him said,
Whoever gets married, has indeed fulfilled 50% of the religion Subhan Allah, Allah has assisted him to take care of half of the religion, you just need to take care of the other half. What does it mean? How can manage represent half of the religion
you know, when a person gets married, then it helps him to lower his gaze to God is chastity. So Hala has the issue of fearing of falling into the Haram of fornication or dating or committing an act which Allah has forbidden is avoided completely, this area is secured. You know, the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam said in the other Hadith, if this hadith is some Hadees, collected by Mr. Muslim, if any of you guys happen to feel fascinated, due to being attracted, fascinated by the beauty of a woman,
then rush home, go to your wife, embrace her, enjoy your wife, and that will suppress that desire towards any other woman in Haram, because it will be fulfilled and Hala in the light of this code. We explain and we understand what the prophets of Allah Salah means by saying that
if you get married, that is 50% of your deen is been taken care of. Now we just need to offer your area that
fast pray, pay your Zakah and sadaqa do Hajj if you haven't done it. Be well mannered we go to unkind to people. You're a perfect postural church would you say Just quickly before we finish now somebody says
B mode is 50 Dean. So how do I fulfill the
I have to leave it there. This is the end of the episode.
Thank you for for joining us
and inshallah we'll come back to that in a later episode. So thank you for joining us for the thick of love. Join us next time a salami craft Allah he will Bella cat