Fiqh Of Love Episode #25 Divorce
Channel: Muhammad Salah
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Salam Alaikum salam. My name is John Fantine. And welcome back to the fifth of love. So I'm sure I reconcile Mr. rahmatullahi wa barakato we're joined with Dr. Muhammad Salah again, just like Luca, thanks for joining us. scherzando a year come thank you, John, you know, subhanAllah it's been a long series so far. Subhanallah and last time we were speaking about, you know, trying to resolve some of the issues within marriage, you know, after marriage, it can get a bit tough, get a bit stressful, but the couple have tried their best to reconcile between each other. They've also asked for outside help. Well, they've decided between themselves, or even maybe one of them has decided
that they can no longer carry on suddenly, with this marriage. Now, of course, I'm from a Christian background, and from the Catholic background, it's not permissible to get divorced, of course, but I was from the Church of England background before I became a Muslim. And it was it was allowed Henry hamdulillah for guiding you to Islam. hamdulillah became a Muslim, but as you say, in Islam,
it does permit that it is permissible to have a divorce after marriage. But what are the different types of divorce? What's the difference between a Tilak and a hollow or separation Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam ala Anna V or Mustafa were back in the Quran, the Almighty Allah explain, prescribed and discussed in details whether in Surah Al Baqarah, or other sewers, there is a whole surah in the Quran SCO Surah autolock or divorce,
the permissibility of divorce and sometimes it becomes simply recommended. Okay, so did the general ruling of divorce in Islam, it's permissible whenever it is the last resort, it's simply unimaginable. To get stuck with somebody whom you're supposed to share bed with, to the rest of your lives. And you and her hate each other.
There must be separation. This is logically And Alhamdulillah Jacques Lal logic and Islam and Sharia are having harmony and they go hand in hand. So we find Allah subhanaw taala prescribing the walls whenever it is the only solution. And there are different types of separation. I'd like to begin by explaining them divorce, which is separation through the husband divorcing his wife
and separation through the judge or the Shara.
And the whole law is separation based on the request and the demand of the wife. In the case of divorce when the husband offers or utters the word divorce or texts, or SES or types. There is an effective divorce as long as he is in his mindset. And also this kind of divorce has different categories and there is the halal and haram and the Sunni and the VD. And in the case of the first which I'd like to begin by explaining, it is the authority of the judge.
And in this case, in the case of first the husband
does not a divorce because he doesn't want to but his word is of no use because when the judge separates them, the husband cannot take her back it becomes irrevocable.
okay even if she wants to they would have to process a new marriage contract. So whether he wants to divorce or not. If the judge decided separation that's called first
which is annoying the marriage contract as if it did not take place. It happens due to various reasons. But obviously, this first would not be achieved unless if the wife presents a case before the judge before the Imam will go before those who are in charge. Like she says my husband understated from Islam separation. She says you know my husband has not been providing for me and my kids does not even a single penny for the past couple years and he doesn't have he doesn't want to look for a job and he's just living like enjoying the free ride on my money. Are you going to work? Are you going to provide no okay divorce or no I don't want
In a divorce or so, the judge has the right to make separation. And also in the case of, in the case of, God forbid, accusing each other of the act of adultery, particularly if he accuses her, then in this case if he doesn't have witnessed the result or something poorly and and there will be separation, and in the case of separation, the wife keeps that out, he keeps her gifts keeps everything that the husband gave her, and there is no return. Because it's irrevocable, while in the case of divorce, when the husband utters the world evolves. The Almighty Allah says,
While mortal la cartuja, Torah bas Nabi and fusina Salah setup, this is an I O Surah, Al Baqarah. In this ayah Allah says Amapola caught plural of Amapola women who have been divorced, yet Arab Bosna they gotta wait, hang on, do nothing for three periods in three Minister wishes before the marriage is known, or the separation is complete, or before she can even accept new marriage proposals. This one she's still married to that person. So it's not an immediate so even after any of these options in sha Allah would be a waste of supply and all of that. But after the husband utters the word divorce, there is a DA, what is the ADA it is a term during which the wife must stay at home in the
same house in which she was living with her husband.
Then he divorced her he doesn't kick her out. And that is the beginning of surah Allah.
So Allah subhanaw taala says, number one, yeah, you have an arena, either palapa to Manisa for polio coonelly Is that in WA Salida. There is a first ruling concerning Tala. Also people who want to divorce they have to learn the outcome of divorce the don't just get divorced whenever they want to, as Allah Almighty require you to learn the outcome of marriage, consummation of the marriage and sexual relations and halal and haram and the rest of the spouses. You also must understand that you have duties during the life of the prophet salaallah Sena and one of his great great companions, the son of a great companion, Abdullah, the son of Omer bukata Brother, Allah who had a dispute with his
wife and he decided to divorce her. So he did divorce her. But when he divorced her, she was in her menses. So a lot of hot tub went to the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam and he told him what happened my son, Abdullah Muhammad, now Abdullah Omar is considered the prophets brother in law even though he's he's a young man, way younger than the Prophet Salah Salem. But the prophets Allah some angry and he said moral failure Raja order him to take her back because this divorce is haram to divorce one's wife during the menses is haram. Why?
Because during the menses and the hormonal changes that the woman is going through, she needs care. She needs emotions, she needs attention, not pressure. My anger shakes who may ask although it's Haram is it still an act an actual divorce? Would it still be right there is a difference of opinion between the scholars whether even though it's haram and innovation, whether it's effective or not, based on their understanding of the Hadith, the Prophet sallallahu sallam said more who fell EULA Jaha
order him to take her back. So it didn't explain. So there is still a difference of opinion. But what matters here is you shouldn't divorce your wife, whenever sure she's having the menses or likewise, the PMs because of, you know, the kind of changes that she's going through and a psychological pressure. So you have to understand that give her a break. So how many times can Is it permissible to divorce your wife? That's another thing. The Quran says. Yeah, Johanna Dean. He's addressing whom the believers Yeah, even without palapa Tomohisa. So if you're one of the believers, and you happen to have a dispute between you and your wife,
then Talia Kahuna Lea, Dottie Hannah. Either you wait until she finishes the period, then divorce her or if since you had she had her last period, you didn't have sexual relations, then you can divorce her during any time of the talk. Why? Because there is no possibility of course.
See when she she you guys did not actually have sexual relations during this time. So Manuel Pollack Hatfield,
la mujer Mahaffey if he still wants to divorce her, the prophet Salah Salem say to Mr. Fatah, he's got to wait until the period is over. And without having sexual relations with her, if he still insisted on divorcing her, And subhanAllah, there is a great divine wisdom in that, in addition to giving the woman the break, because of the hormonal changes during the menses,
also, and the weakness, lot of breeding and so on. Also, it gives you a chance and a time to think over. And it gives her a chance to think about her mistakes if you've done any, and the consequences of giving divorce. And in many, many, many cases, that if the divorce is delayed or postponed even for one hour, it will not take place so short because it's like person whenever it's hot, when you defuse a problem and think it over you may change your mind and this is most of the time as a matter of fan. So the question you asked earlier about the number of divorces.
He was answer in the area one more palapa to your boss maybe unforeseen Nasrallah SATA.
Abdullah, Edna Ahmed Qatar had a case now. Now he's learned.
Somebody divorced his wife in the same setting three times. You're divorced, you divorced. You divorced. What? I divorce you three times. He was very angry with him. Because now Abdullah normal knows what is right and what is wrong, and said Eunice obeyed Allah and His Messenger Salallahu Alaihe Salam and your wife had been divorced. But how many divorces? We'll talk about that in sha Allah. When you come here, we'll take a short break and then we'll come back to that. Join us after the break. We'll be back in a few minutes with the fit of love.
Salam Alaikum salam. My name is John Fontaine and welcome back to the fifth of love Salam Alikum Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. So I can assure you we were just speaking about divorce. You know, SubhanAllah. Just before the break, we were mentioning about divorcing. You mentioned an example of one of the companions of the Prophet SAW cases presented before Abdullah Abdullah Omar, somebody divorced his wife three times simultaneously. So say that is haram is haram to divorce one's wife while she's having the menses. It's haram to divorce once wife three times or more than once,
twice or twice in the same setting. Why? Because Allah subhanaw taala stated also in Surat Al Baqarah a fella Cammarata for him Sercombe ma roofing out of three home BSN. So in the first area which we discussed and number 228 and mattala cartuja Tara Bosna be unforeseen cetera cetera. Look, it's like a symphony, the area here and there in Surah Al Baqarah. And in Surah Tala organizing a regulating how Talaq should be performed and observed. And if you will, to follow this divine prescription on Tala most likely you will reconcile if you avoid the worst in your wife during the menses, and if you divorce her once, and that is the first time then Allah says amatola cartuja Tara
bas Nabil unforeseen na Salah SATA Kuru, you have three periods, which could be more than two months. And in the other ayah Allah subhanaw taala says where la isla Mia Helen, and for those who do not witness the period, like let's say that due to anything including the menopause, Salah SATA ash for three months, no normals, so this is plenty of time. What happens during this time? You're traveling to Disney and enjoy yourself and your wife is with her family. No, no, no, no, don't give the shaitana chance to bombard her to Mombasa Do you? And you know to keep charging both of you against each other. Now we go back to Surah two Tala, the first idea, Allah Almighty says what the
Holla Holla back home, fear Allah your Lord is addressing whom? Oh the Prophet tell the believers. Why did Allah give the power of Talaq to men? Number one, men have the right to give talaaq women have the right to demand Pollak, but as far as the authority have officially given Talaq once you say you're divorced, I
When it becomes effective, it is the man.
Why the man? Why can the wife say to her husband, you're divorced, you're divorced, and then they are divorced.
Why? Because a woman is emotional. And this is not something bad at all. I'm talking about being by nature, emotional women, because this is needed for the children to raise their kids to be the sweet part of the family. Okay, but the man whom we talked about, he paid the dowry. He bought the house. And he's paying for the furniture and all the expenses and the jewelry and the car and the school tuitions and everything, he shouldering a huge financial responsibility. And he understands that if he's divorcing, his wife, a lot of change is going to take place to the worst. When all while he paid is gone, the house will collapse. The children will be separated from the parents or the
parents will not be looking after the children in the same house. Lot of problems. So you will think it over and over and over so many times. But now I want to ask a question how many times even in accent movies you hear that? The wife is demanding divorce?
The wife asking the husband divorce me divorce. This is really common, you know,
people saying that their wife keeps asking for divorce all the time. What do you what do you say about this? The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said in the Hadith
if a woman were to ask for divorce meanwhile remember that sin earlier Marathi and ser la palapa theologian about sin for haram when Allah Allah had to agenda, it will be forbidden for her to find the fragrance of paradise with a minute so it's not a joke. It's either there's something serious that really deserves asking for the horse or first or even hola Are you joking? And that's why when they say it
the guy the husband has to let go has to say okay, we'll think about it we're gonna come back I'm going to pray them on a comeback during this time change your position make will do offer to rockers leave you know because if you hang around and she keeps pushing and person, if you are man divorce me if you're a real man divorce me and then use your say your divorce. So the shofar have achieved his goal. So, I broke the family. So she you said that you have this, this this period of time after the lock after after the man has said divorce? What happens if he wants to take it back within this period does he does he need like another? You know, John, if you follow the idea of Surah to Tala
the first idea, eventually he will take her back the ISS or the Prophet tell the believers it toquilla Back on fear Allah your Lord led to freeze Johanna nimbu utn what happens whenever there is divorce?
He says, Go to your family or he will pack up and he would leave. Okay, I'm not coming home anymore. Man is your own business. No, Allah doesn't want that. Allah walls in both to stay in the same house. Champa divorced. I know. That's why this is a Paula Cammarata after the first and the second divorce. Why? Because Allah subhanaw taala says, Lay a handle to number Hello, hello, if you are Jaime hen. So there is a waiting period selesa Takuro. During this time, there is a possibility of reconciling. How will they reconcile? They're not sharing bed anymore. He's then in one room and she's staying in one room. These just bumped into each other. He's leaving going to work and or
she's getting up to fix the kids to the school. So he's leaving. And even though she's divorced, she prepared his breakfast.
So he just realized you're too sweet even though I divorced you, but you care about me. I'm really sorry. And he gives her a kiss or a hug. That officially means he has revoked his divorce. It doesn't have to be a written statement. It doesn't have to call somebody and say you guys bear with this. I revoked my divorce. I took my wife banned, but according to a memo Hanifa anything which only a husband do to his wife sexual intercourse, kissing, hugging, you know, all kinds of, you know, relationship between all of the husband and wife announces revoking the divorce and they become officially united once again. No need for a new marriage contract, no need. No need for a new
dowry, no need but if you buy
are a gift that would be super nice. No need for informing her dad or getting his permission because she's still officially your wife. So sure what happens if the time runs out? You know this, this period of time runs out and you want to get married again? Well, now, the IRS says, following couple eyes, it's basically 231. The Almighty Allah says either palak the one who said if I Belladonna agenda, one, firm SQL will never be more often our sorry, one tomorrow fella to MC coordinadora, Ron Lita do so if you are planning not to take her back, and divorce was based on the reasoning, understanding and an agreement between you and her. So even though she stayed in the same flat, but
you decided to let go, so the period of the term died that elapsed, and he did not take her back. That is good to see at home, be set kindly, here are your rights, the child support if there is any, the bridal gift, if I owe you anything deferred amount of dowry, you know, divorce, with kindness, divorce on the basis of kind treatment, after the divorce, after the idea is over.
She's free to look for somebody else. And she's free to marry somebody else and accept and receive proposals. But in this case, now she has to move out of the house, if it is not her house, or he has to move to another house if that is her house, because now they're not husband and wife. So after that is over, Allah says layer Hello Hola, hola, Yocto nama halacha lofi are Hammerhand the husband who divorced his wife, mustard, her, I divorced you and here is a date so that she would keep count.
One of two things, whenever whichever one happens first, then the divorce is complete.
And it will be either irrevocable period forever or irrevocable unless if you
process a new marriage contract, what are the two things and whichever one comes first, that will make the divorce complete and final. The first is if she's pregnant, and she gives birth.
If she's pregnant, and she gives birth, let's say that he divorced her, the will go to the hospital for delivery and they picked up a fight.
So let's say that he divorced her, then she just give birth and our earlier, then the idea is over.
whichever one comes first, the furnishes either. If she's not pregnant, then there will be three periods. What if she was pregnant, and they found out after divorce that she's pregnant, she just got pregnant. And that pregnancy was that would last for nine months. So there either will be prolonged until she gives birth. Even if she is not pregnant. The term for a woman who's divorced is three periods. But if she's pregnant, then the term will be to deliver the baby share. He know it's common. I get many questions on Facebook and social media, where people are saying that the man has said to luck or he's he's done divorce it maybe he said it and he's joking. Or maybe he said it. And
he he didn't mean it. Well, no joking when it comes to divorce. Keep in mind, among the things which there is no joking about it. Even if you're joking.
It becomes effective marriage and divorce. You say to somebody I want to marry your daughter and she says yeah, and he says no problem. That's marriage. Okay. You don't say we were acting? I was joking. I you know, I thought I didn't think it would be that easy. And also somebody his wife says if you're a man divorced, yes, of course I'm a manual divorce. Then he comes to the sheriff when he asked you and said I didn't mean it. I was just threatening her habibi. That's an effective divorce. And that's why the authority of uttering and pronouncing the word The divorce was given to the man who's responsible. Okay. So this is a kind of divorce where a fella Cammarata if he divorced her for
the first time. And Masha Allah because he fulfilled what Allah said. Here. Are you having a baby you either for Lakota Manisa for Toyoko Hoonah laid that in? We're actually Ida. What type Allah are Baku lair to chorizo Hoon mo Tiana. While I approached her, Tina before he shot him Albina so he said to his wife whom he shot
As divorced, you know what? You're the mother of my kids. I divorced you but Allah said you must stay in the same house. Here is a key word divorce. He stayed in one room she stayed in one room, and then a week before the term is over, very concise. Alhamdulillah now left for him one more divorce. If In another incident he divorced her, he has the right to take her back. And if he happened to divorce her for the third time, that set fell out the Hey Lulu Holman Babu Hatter, thank you ha Zeldin Raya, and that is something to be discussed in depth next time. And that's all we have time for today. Thank you for joining us, and Cipolla. Next time I want to go into more detail about
this because this is a very important topic. And this is often misunderstood. You know, these these situations where people, they think they're married, and in actual fact, they may not even be married. So inshallah we'll pick up where we left off next time. Join us next time for another episode of the thick of love. That's all for today, as salam aleikum wa Taala he will better Katha