Fiqh Of Love Episode #26 Divorce & Khulu’ Divorce Initiated

Salam Alaikum salam. My name is John Fontaine and welcome back to the final episode of the thick of love. Today we're joined with Dr. Mohamed Salah sama. Come share, it comes to Nam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh Aki shakes upon Allah has been a very important event for an enlightened and serious series I should say. Subhanallah and he's been very serious as well. Subhanallah extent Bella yeah especially the last few episodes Aparna was speaking about divorce at the moment. And I wanted to continue this topic of divorce. Last week was speaking about Tilak and I wanted to carry on with that and have a question actually regarding the divorce when it's initiated by the man. What happens

if he is divorced the woman three times is it possible that he can marry her again?

Well Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim. If you remember in the last episode, we refer to a number 229 Chapter Two Surah Al Baqarah, in which Allah Almighty put some limitations to divorce, because before Islam, a man will divorce his wife once 10 times 20 times 100 times and before the term is over, he would say I took you back. I took you back. So he's neither treating her as a wife given her rights as a wife nor is he letting her go. That's why the Almighty Allah said Allah kumara tan only two wise you have the right to take her back only twice if you divorce her. Then for him second Mr often out of three home BSN after he divorced her. If you decide to keep her you keep her with

honor and dignity you treat her kind, but if you decide to let go and the divorce is complete and the term is over and he did not take her back, then that should be done also with kindness out the three hon. BSN. Then while I handle a comment who do remember to Munna Shire, so even if you've given them in a diary or whatever, because you're the one who divorce them, they keep everything. The following is is m falaqa fell out the hill Lulu whom embargo Hatter Thank you has outdone her IRA.

So we said Allah Almighty limited the number of divorces to two because the third one is allowing the first and the second after the first after the second instead may take her back. And she must stay in the same house in which you and her were living together. Yeah, are you Hannah, do you have a legato Manisa for Talia Kohana Leah Tina. Well, actually, what olahraga can lead to hurry yo Han Nanaimo ut when you should not force them out of their houses. That is after the first and the second divorce. That is the first I have to follow up or divorce chapter while I across even if she wants to leave, she wants to live with her family or whatever. No, both of you, you must stay

together in the same house. But if he divorced her for the third time, then one of them has to move out. Because they're not husband and wife anymore. Nor can they remarry anymore. Not unless the ill talaga and number two, three are Surah Al Baqarah. If he happened to divorce her now the third time Falletta Hey, Lulu, hoomin Babu. She can marry him because she's not lawful for him had that and he has chosen RYLA nontariff she married somebody else. And this marriage must not be something like a setup.

I'm just marrying this person on papers. You know how people marry on papers in order to get the residency? Yeah. So some people marry on papers in order to say what she's married already. Now divorce her while in your heart when you know that is not permissible. because something happened like that in the Prophet sallallahu Sallam Stein, and he said no had that azucar was a letter who was Zuccaro say that, you know this marriage is invalid and it will not validate marriage for the first ex husband. Not until they have complete sexual intercourse. I'm talking about

was the second marriage. So the ISS had that and it has our genre without arrangement. Basically, the man divorced his wife three times, and died that also must be kept in mind the three accrue. Or if she doesn't experience a period, then three lunar months have elapsed, and the term is over. Now she's looking for a husband, she made the right guy Alhamdulillah. And he got married, guess what, things did not work out. And he divorced her same setup like before. He has two divorces. And the third is final and irrevocable. But when he divorced her the first time he didn't take her back, there is over who her first ex husband showed interest. And she said, You know what? Because we have

kids, I would love to remarry him. Can they remarry? Yes, as long as they did not set up and arrange the second marriage on papers in order to make it legitimate for the first ex husband to marry her shake. What if somebody was to divorce before consummating the marriage? What would happen with I'll be happy to answer a question insha. Allah, I want to ask you something. Whatever we spoke about earlier, sounds and looks very complicated. Especially after the third divorce. Correct? Yes, it is complicated. You know why? Because Allah give you concession gives you authority, you misuse it, you lose it. You abuse, the power of divorce, then you lose your wife, you lose your kids, and now

somebody else is, is raising your kids. Think

before you act, think twice, twice so many times, before you actually say to your wife, you're divorced, or send her a message threatening her your divorce, you turn around and you say, but I didn't mean it. I was threatening her. I mean, it's so good also goes both ways. Sure. You know, the woman needs to think about it as well suppose said, Allah give her the benefit of doubt. And that's why he gave the authority of saying divorce to demand, but he abuses it. Okay, he warned her. He said, Never ask for divorce. Unless if it is something serious. But if she does, yes, she's blameworthy. But you're wise enough. You're powerful enough.

Not to give her the horse now to wait. If it is during the period, okay, honey in sha Allah, in a few days, you know, any hang around, and things will improve things will get better. Then you explain to her what you say before when you are angry is haram. And you to whenever you're angry, make will do or step out of the house or change your position. Because it's only twice you make a mistake, and you say Talaq once, then another incident in Santa Paula, and it's over. And you have a bunch of kids. Well, she's going to marry somebody else. So Sheikh regarding

the marriage, you know, divorcing before the consummation of the marriage. Well, the

verdict that you're referring to Allah subhanaw taala says, There is no blame upon you if you decided to divorce your wives, before you consume it, the marriage

men commonly earn them as soon before you have a mercy here refers to not mere touch refers to consume it in the marriage by what if you did, so what caught for up to La Hana fairy ova.

And you have already appointed or allocated or you name the dowry. Either you already paid the dowry fully upfront, or there was a deferred amount in this case, furnace format for up to M L funa. We are for lead EBRD here Okada Tunica. So have that every becomes her right. And the other half goes to the man who devotes her as long as he did not consume it the marriage. We said before the consummation is actually official, when they lock the door behind them in a private place, even if there is no actual intercourse. So if they get married, and the on the papers, they got the marriage contract bond, but the they never consummated the marriage. She never moved them, and things didn't

work out and he divorced her. Thank you so much. Here is 50% of the dowry. Well, I give you 100,000 Here is 50,000 in

AR foreigner, unless if the wife who's supposed to be you know a permanent wife, but now it didn't work out. If she fought goes, if she remits and forgives, and she says you know what, since with

didn't get married. Here is a whole dowry, thank you so much. We are for Lady bat, Europa Tunica, or the Guardian says, Son, you like my son Hamdulillah. It didn't work out from the beginning. And here is your folder. That's very nice of you. No hurt feeling. While Athens I will fog lava inner calm. And don't you forget the graciousness between you guys. Remember when you propose to her, and you were very sweet and kind, remember when they received you, as you are proposing to their daughter. So remember how you will treat each other with graciousness and kindness. So it's better to pardon. But officially, if you divorce your wife, after the marriage contract, and before consuming the

marriage, it is legally her right to keep 50% of the dowry. If you didn't pay anything, yet, you still owe the deferred amount, shake it concerning the Maha, you know, when the case has been taken to a judge and the marriage has been an old. So what happens to the dowry in this instance?

You mean if the wife demanded divorce, or in the case of separation, in the case of separation, because you say there's something called divorce, yes, something called first. And there is something called Hola. Divorce is the right of the husband. And the wife may request that if she has a legitimate reason, and the man understands. First, if He is stubborn, if he has given her a hard time, if he is leaving her neither a wife, nor a free woman. So she takes her case to the judge, or to the Imam if you are in Muslim community in in the West. And then we present the case, and she says that the guy is hurting me. The guy is beating me badly. The guy doesn't support me

financially. The man curses me or my family, the guy drinks, the guy doesn't pray, et cetera. So the judge would call him if he shows up, he investigates the case. don't really do that. You don't pay her any money. Because her parents, you're abusive, if he admits, so what do you want? I don't want him anymore fast.

So he says, Why don't you divorce and I'm not going to divorce him. Even if you don't want to divorce her. That judge has the power of divorcing them or separating them and that becomes a revocable. Okay, that becomes irrevocable, even if he wants to take her back that will require a new marriage contract. If she agrees, and a new dowry of course and the consent of the Guardian that's called fast. The judge is authoritative and he's having the right to cause a separation based on his judgment. JazakAllah Hersha good listeners take a short break. Make sure you join us after the break. We'll we'll be back in a few minutes or Santa Monica to live or better cattle.

Salam Alaikum salaam Welcome back to the fear of love satellite comm check.

John Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh. So we've been discussing the details regarding the divorce, when suddenly it doesn't always work out in marriage. And we've gone into a lot of detail regarding the tilak which is initiated by the man or the groom, the husband, the husband is not a group now, we might also

and then you also have the separation which maybe has been given by the judge or the judge. Okay, now shaker wants to ask you about the divorce which is initiated by the woman to holler. Yeah, that is the third type of separation, which of the husband is not giving divorce, and that is causing harm to her. And

the wife finds it impossible to continue this man.

So if you remember in the ayah, in which Allah set up for local Murata and that is the same as to 2009 of Surah Al Baqarah. Allah says it is not permissible for you to take anything as far as money or they already have what you've given them before.

In a Hoffa, Allah you Kima hood Allah, Allah you Pima hood Allah He fell out, you know how I lay him off him after that bear? in simple English, Allah Almighty says the only condition where it's permissible for the husband to recall or to collect either the full dowry that he paid before or some of the that where he is in case that love is impossible between both of them. He doesn't want to give divorce and she's afraid that you will be committed a big sin and she's not

aren't really living with him as a husband and wife, she her mind is somewhere else. She thinks this guy, even if he's good, as far as a religious person, nice person, but she finds it impossible to live with him. She's afraid that she's not going to keep within the boundaries of Allah, the Arcam and the rules of Allah. So she initiates

the request of separation, not divorce separation. She says, Look, man, I know you've paid that much over. I cannot live with you. Why don't you take whatever you paid me as dowry? And just leave me go? If he says, okay, no harm. That's a win win situation. If he doesn't, then we'll go to the judge. So the judge would ask her when she comes to the Imam, why do you want to initiate separation? Well, I don't like him. I feel like I hate him. I never expected but Is he bad? Does he be you? Because you can make separation? You know? And in this case, you keep that out? No, no, no, no, no, he's super nice, but somehow, I cannot accept him. When I see him. I feel like you know, I'm

afraid of him. Literally, I hate him. I'd want him as a husband. Keep that in mind compared to a hadith which I mentioned earlier. In a previous episode, in which the Messenger of Allah peace be upon him said or Umrah in Surat fala aka I feel it my bad sin for haram on Allah ha ha to gender. If a woman who's married, asks for divorce without a valid reason, then she will not find the fragments of paradise. So what is the difference between the this hadith and the holy case? Let me tell you the reference from the Sunnah. And why Hola. While it's mentioned in an number 229 Like, referred to and then it is explained fully in this reference, which is collected by Imam Bukhari and narrated by

Abba live now best may Allah be pleased with him and his father. They said, a woman of a companion by the name sabot ignore case or of the Allahu Allah, this companion was a good man and a righteous companion. Okay. being righteous, being good, being super religious does not mean that

you're also looking nice or handsome or tall, or you're a movie star in any person, but you are before Allah the best. Allah says in the Chronicle and the lie at Koco. So the complexion, the height, the color of the eyes, the hair blonde or black, curly, or smooth, or even bold, all of that doesn't matter doesn't count. What counts is righteousness. But for the woman, also, she needs a handsome man. She wants a man when she sees him. She feels like she's lucky. She's the luckiest. She wants to go out in the mall or in the park. She had put in her hand in his hand and she's proud that he's my husband. He's my husband. So she was married to this kind of Sahabi who is great as far as

goodness righteousness, but she did not like him. Because of his look. And because of whenever he comes among other men, she finds him the least as far as Mama is, look, the height and so on. So she fear that you will be committing a sin. She went to the prophets Allah Allah Allah Salam, and she said, Oh prophet of Allah.

In the UK shall COFRA feel is now I'm afraid to commit an act which will be perceived as this belief while I've accepted Islam, while saying that my husband Therby Ribnica is less evil Allah if he didn't want to feel hollow. I do not get sighs anything in respect of his Dean or his o'clock. He's He's super nice. He's religious. I do like him. Oh, Allah, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam and understood what she means. So he says Salah Salem, but he paid you a big dowry. Hadiya car. You know how many palm trees we have here? A few maybe 10 He paid her a garden full of the palm trees. That's plenty false.

What a rodina Allah He had the cutter who would you give him back that hour that he gave you the garden? She said Of course. Yes. And you know that it means that by itself means that she was willing to get out by any price

under any cost. So the Prophet sallallahu sallam said, okay, then he called sabotaged the case. He said, Yeah, sad. For Lika phulka work Well howdy YakAttack. Let her go and take back your goddess. He didn't want to he loved her. But she did not like him was

Walk in the beginning of the program about love. And we say Islam recognizes love. And marriage is about love. What I love a Nicole Miller death and war Rama, these are the two main pillars of marriage. If not compassion, then mercy. But if both of them like you're blocked, you know, you're seeing the person in front of you something else, not a human being not a nice husband whom you desire. You hated him, even if he's good to others, but you cannot live with him Salah she can offer him the whole dowry for a part of that away, or more or less Subhanallah share, you know, often divorce is looked at looked at in a way that is always bad or negative. But in fact, in some some

circumstances, it can also be a mercy as well. Subhanallah if you look at other religions, you know, like we mentioned Christianity, it doesn't give the in Catholicism and doesn't give men or women right and that led to some husbands killing their wives or vice versa. And both years ago, Islam gave men and women the right to be with the one that they love. Subhanallah Exactly, exactly, absolutely beautiful women TV, and hello Colette Coleman unforseeable as well as a little schooner Eliza Wadala by Nico now our data war Rama in Nephi, Danika yet in the coalmine, yet alpha karoun. Among His Signs, there were a few verses in chapter number 30 Sofa room discussing how Allah created

us from dirt from dust. Then he made us Indonesian tribes sin is how our mother tongues and convictions are very diverse, and how we can create it for us from among ourselves, spouses, your wife, and my wife and y in order to have fun in order to enjoy your life in order to experience that peace of mind to have comfort. So when you go home, you're entering your comfort zone, you feel peace, you feel joy and delight, and for that the components the ingredients of the recipe of joy and delight of repose and rest is my word the word Rama to may impose compassion

and mercy. If they do not exist. Then my masama goodbye, find somebody else Subhanallah che che we're coming towards the end of this series. And subhanAllah it's been a very fantastic series. We've learned so much about love. From the Islamic perspective, love and marriage and divorce. It's been really eye opening and I'm sure many people have benefited so much. And shirt. Have you got any last bits of advice you can give? And also, maybe we can. Is there any points that you want to elaborate on? Sure. Well, just before we finish one thing before we finish, you know some people may end up watching just the last episode. Some people may end up just watching the rights of the

husband. They love it. And they forget that there are two episodes talking about the rights of the wife. And some sisters may watch two episodes of the rights of the wife and they do not get to watch the rights of the husband. That's not fair. Well I will name is Larry Allah Hina Remar have equal rights and duties, mutual rights and duties. Also the man came to Omar hottub Radi Allahu Han. And he was telling them he's gonna divorce his wife. He said why? They said because I don't love her anymore. He beat him up is

your loser. So you're divorcing your wife just because you love her anymore? Don't you have kids? Don't you do things together? There are many, many things in the I would prescribe de vos Allah subhanaw taala says

for encourage to Mohana faster and Takahashi and were to Allah Allah houfy hyaluron kathira. It may be that you dislike something while Allah makes gifts and puts in that thing which you hated. Plenty of goodness. So keep trying. Especially when you have kids, even if it is just one child, you know, being unfair to many of our children due to divorce. Sometimes my wife would say, You know what? That's okay. I don't want anything from me. Just let me live in a separate flat, you can go ahead and marry and enjoy your life. But let me raise my kids. And when I go to the school, they asked my kid where is your dad? So your dad is here. We can go together only for certain occasions. I'd only

have to divorce me. So when she gives up some of her rights for the sake of what? For the sake of the children. Keep in mind that it is not about just you or her. It's about us

The future generation your children and your offspring, whom are also responsible to look after one should shoulder his or her responsibilities. Subhanallah che is very, very nice and

it's been an amazing series upon law, I'm sure many people I've got so much benefit. I hope so. Yeah. And

and, you know, I hope you know, I think what you said there, so, you know what, I really hope it will benefit us. Personally, you and I, most first, Inshallah, because you know, Allah subhanaw taala blame those who teach people goodness, and they do otherwise they do not act upon it. Limit Hakuna Matata follow, so we hope and pray. By the end we're human beings. Whenever we were quoting the Prophet sallallahu Sallam as he was the best to his family or his wife, he was a prophet Salla says we are trying to imitate him and copy him. But we're still human beings. So power chef should give you any last final words which you'd like to have quite was. There is last word I would say.

Keep making dua and ask your wife to make dua. What do I the DUA, which we'll discuss in the very first episode, the supplication that the servants have arrived Mandy supplicate on regular basis. They say a lot better have learned I mean as wodgina with Riyadh Kurata union. Wa Johanna Linwood Akina Imam dua achieves miracles and makes the impossible possible. Our Lord grant us from our spouses and our offspring Kurata iron, comfort for our eyes, peace for our mind, and make us leaders for the pious ones admin, which is just an amazing dewater finish on that so thank you so much for joining us and you know, going through this whole series and we've been through all Allah accept,

Amin, amin, and hopefully inshallah maybe we can do more series about different topics in the future, which can benefit the Almighty shall Akasha surprisingly amazing series is joining. Thank you. Thank you for hosting me. And that's all we have time for with the thick of love. I hope you got lots of benefit throughout this whole series. I'm sure I did. And that's all we have time for Soleimani come to LA he will better cut