Fiqh Of Love Episode #22 Obedience In Marriage

Muhammad Salah


Channel: Muhammad Salah

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Hello welcome back to another episode of The Feck of love. My name is John Fontaine and we're joined with Dr. Mohamed Salah. So echo show that equals Salam rahmatullahi wa barakato Alhamdulillah che we've got a very exciting episode coming up. Are you excited? Yeah.

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Today we want to speak about the rights which the past few episodes we'll be speaking about the rights of the spouse and specifically the rice of the woman or the wife. And today we want to speak about the rights and the status of the husband. So chef in Islam, what is the status of the husband? Smilla Rahmanir Rahim allow me to begin by reminding you and the viewers with the idea of Surah a room in which Allah subhanaw taala said women Aya T and Hala Kala, Coleman and fusi come as virgin, let us go now. And what is the purpose of getting married and shared Ambit in order to find comfort, peace of mind, repose and Sakeena it has gone on

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this Akina can never be achieved if the couple are living like they are on a battlefield. And the relationship between them is based on competition. Everyone is demanding their rights, but they're neglecting their duties. And secondly, when it comes to the rights and duties, they will not suggest that by the United Nations, or by a marriage counselor,

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nor by psychiatrist or a psychologist, they were all mandated by the Almighty Allah. So the one who said that he prescribed marriage for you in order to find comfort, repose and peace of mind. He taught us what are the means of achieving this comfort and peace of mind.

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You don't want it, there is no peace of mind. So we see a lot of people I've seen in the West, how people kiss and hug in public. And once the walking the beat each other, the husband and the wife the beat each other. And fist fight isn't such thing in Islam. I said in Islam, because there are some Muslims who do why because they're not following the Islam. When you read a book about feminists, and you read a book about oh, a woman shouldn't be doing this and this and this and that shouldn't even serve her husband. If your husband asked you for a cup of water for a glass of water, do not even answer him. He should bring it for himself. He should be your servant and and and then I

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can assure you this marriage life will never last and soon will come to an end. You know the best case scenario if you guys are divorced, if now one of them has beaten the other or even killed the other. Why? Because it's based on competition. It's not based on competition in Islam. It is based on cooperation and complementing one another Subhanallah shake you know feminism is a it's a huge topic, especially especially in the Western it is really creeping into the Muslim communities now even in Muslim countries. And it's really important for us to remind ourselves that we've been we have been created differently. The man and a woman and woman are different, whether you like it or

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not, although especially a logically physically who's spiritual, spiritually we're equal. That correct is not that the men are better, etc. is spiritually we have the same chance of getting the same rewards. Is that correct? While the Almighty Allah says Babu Memebox

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you guys are from each other whether male or female. Man I'm Allah Saleh Hamza Karina also a woman on Fela, no fee and no higher Tonto Eva. So indeed, it doesn't make any distinction based on gender or complexion or mother tongue, but the fact of the matter that each one is created to suit certain criteria, certain tasks, that the other cannot do, you know, cannot biologically do cannot physically do physiologically do and that's why they're there is the best form of cooperation and complementing one another in observing the proper way of marriage in Islam. See in this, I'm coming across many examples, especially in England, where you have to Amir's in the house. Yeah, the man

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and the woman and the struggle for power basically,

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you know, should the wife obey the husband?

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And, and if you're on everything I want to ask you first, when we spoke about the rights of the wife, how long did it take us? How many episodes? Two episodes? Right? Okay, go for another two. So before we spoke about the rights of the husband who spoke about the rights of the wife, and Allah said, well, the owner mister lady, Allah hyndburn model of Allah kept a perfect balance, you want to change roles, fine, but that's not gonna last. And it's not gonna work. It's as simple as that. I have some cases where the woman played the role of the man. And she was indeed the leader of the house. She's the one who's working and providing for the family for 20 years. And the guy just

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stayed at home, enjoying cooking, doing the homework, don't be in a house engineer, which is the main task of the wife. And then, whenever she conceives, and she gives birth, she goes back to work after delivering, and he is the one who's taking care of the, the children from A to Z. So he was playing the role of the wife, and she was playing the role of the husband. Okay, this is a case that is presented before me. Then she contacted me a few times, and she says she wants to divorce her. Why? She says, I need a man support. I need a man who shoulders his responsibility. I'm sick and tired of what I'm doing, even though she's doing very well as far as finance and earning. But I feel

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like I'm not married to a man. I'm the one who tell him what to do everything. You know, he's very obedient. He doesn't say no to anything. But that is not making me happy. It is upsetting me. This is a human nature. Allah created demand for certain tasks. And the woman for certain tasks. There are some exceptions. Sometimes the the woman loses the husband. And she's looking after the kids, she goes out to walk, provide for the kids, teach them, discipline them, or bring them may Allah subhanaw taala bless her, but under regular circumstances, it's like two hands. One by itself cannot clap. We need the two in order to make the clapping sounds. So what's the Islamic Guidance on

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obedience for the wife to the husband? Well, Imam Muhammad, may Allah have mercy on him collected the Hadith from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. When he was asked, Oh, Prophet of Allah, who has rights most on a woman

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who said the husband,

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then he was asked, and who have more rights,

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or rights most on the man he said his mother.

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So in both cases, it was a woman. In the first case,

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the woman given the or she owes most of the rights to the man to the husband. And in the second case, this woman now will become a mother.

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When the prophets, Allah Salam said, and who have most rights upon the man, he said, the mother. So the relationship between the wife and the mother, again is not based on competition.

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You know, how it is perceived the relationship between the wife and her mother in law. In this competition, I'm fighting over the over the husband, who happens to be the son of the mother. So the prophets Allah, Allah, Allah has sent me said, if you are a wife, your husband have rights most upon you.

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And then whenever you are a mother, then you have most of the rights upon

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your son, your son, not the son only in the not only the Son, the Son and the daughter, okay, the Prophet sallallahu sallam was asked once manner happiness if the hoarseness a habit, you have rights, most of me, they said your mother, the question was asked again then whom he said your mother, your mother three times. Then in the fourth, he said, Salalah Santa's your father. So the mother as a woman has the greatest right. Then the husband while she's married to him, has most of the rights in what sense?

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You know why they've Nisha Bharati, Allah Juan, visited Yemen. And when he returned to the Prophet sallallahu sallam, he picked the habit that they do that the you know, the people of the book they do to their religious leaders, they bow down before them, and they prostrate themselves, they put their forehead and on the floor. So when he came, he wanted to do that to the Prophet sallallahu Sallam has said Indeed, you're the most

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worthy person to bow down to as means of respect. The Prophet sallallahu Sallam ordered him not to do that said never, it is forbidden to bow down or to prostrate yourself to anyone other than the Almighty Allah your Creator. Then he remark it say in Salalah Salam, if I was going to Command any human being to bow down to another human being, I would have commanded the wife to bow down to her husband, because of his rights upon her. But even that is forbidden so that some people may think and they keep telling their wives, you know, you're supposed to bow down to me, you're supposed to kiss my feet, no, none of that that is not permissible. But the Prophet sallallahu Sallam is saying

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hypothetically, since bound down lower in your head to anyone is forbidden. But if if in case that it was permissible, then I would have asked your wife to bow down before her husband, swine, lemma Allahu Allah minha cook.

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Somehow this is showing us the high states of the husband, within the family unit, especially amongst the wife, Scala and not to forget, we spoke also about the rights of the wife in detail, of course, okay. So now, one of the Sahaba by the name persuaded the medicine. His N came to visit the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam. So the Prophet sallallahu Sallam asked her to bond in anti that was origin and theory. Are you married? She said yes. Then the Prophet sallallahu sallam said Ohmori Aina aunty Minho. For now in immersion net will keep on Araki

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UberX see how you treat him because your husband will determine your fate. The way you treat your husband will determine your fate either to Jana, or tonight she said, Well, I'm doing my best to serve him Oh prophet of Allah subhanaw taala this statement by itself requires some study. What does it mean that the husband could be a means of interest agenda or a means of entering hellfire? She's a professional. We're just going to take a short break and we'll come back to that point. Join us after the break the fit of love.

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Salam Alaikum salaam Welcome back to the Feck of love so I can share why local cinema rahmatullahi wa barakato Sheikh just before the break us mentioned a very important Hadith Subhanallah where you were saying that the treatment of the husband? You know well, the treatment that the wife gives to the husband can actually determine her hereafter basically, true. And will the Prophet sallallahu sallam said also in the other Hadith which will explain that, that Allah will not be pleased with a woman. Unless if our husband is pleased with her. Oops, what does it mean? Does husband represent God on earth? No. But Allah is showing that being obedient your husband is so important that you

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will make Allah happy with you.

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When the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he says that if your husband is not pleased with you, no matter whether you're praying might no matter whether you're fasting, Mondays and Thursdays, you have not fulfill your duty it was your husband, so this is something to be taken care of. And it's a priority as the prophets Allah Allah, Allah said MSC so in terms of obedience, of course, we're speaking about things that are permissible. You know, if your husband is asking you to do something which is not allowed in Islam, you know, whether it's not not praying or whatever it may be, of course, the woman doesn't have to obey him in this the area of Surat in the search of the number

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four verse number 34 says first soya how to call Anita tune Have you ever to live even my half of Allah, Allah admire those women who are married and they are quantitative said they are solid hat Yeah, and they they are righteous. Why? Because they are Connie tat and half Lovato little wife and two qualities, the word honey Tatia Annie obedience. Obedient to whom, obedient to Allah, and obedient to their spouses, the Messenger of Allah peace be upon him said in the Hadith, whenever a woman loses her husband, if a woman's husband died, if he while he was dying, he was happy with his wife. He is making dua for her. He says you you've been the best wife to me. You've been the best

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person ever to me, is happy with her as an obedient servant to Allah. She's a good Muslim and she's on fire. She's taking care of him. She's taking care of

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his kids, she's taking care of his family. So he was happy with her at the time of death, he will be saved to her entire agenda.

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If the husband dies, while he's happy with his wife, she will be admitted to paradise. There are a couple of Hadith in this regard, which confirmed that the obedience is like number one, right? That the husband has over his wife. But this obedience is not like a master and a slave, or a master and a servant, a manager and an employee. No, it's about number one within what is halal number two, within your capacity, Jonnie

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if the husband happened to ask his wife anything, which is forbidden not only the husband, the husband, the father, the employer, the manager, any person asks you as a Muslim to do anything which is haram. No.

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Under any circumstances, why I'm not gonna do it, why the Messenger of Allah keys be upon him said in the Hadith luffa autonomous Lukin female CFL Hala, no creation should be obeyed on account of disobeying the Creator.

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No human beings command should be obeyed. If he is commanding you to do anything, which Allah has forbidden or asking you to skip anything that Allah Almighty has commanded you to do.

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Whether that is in bed, during the sexual relations, or in respect of dealing with her family, like you know, some people say, I don't want you to talk to your family anymore.

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Why? Why don't you want me to talk to my dad? I don't like him. I don't want to speak to your mother. Why?

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Just like that? No, there is no specific reason. It's not like you know, they drink or these guys are, you know, wicked. Or they're trying to destroy his family. You know, just I don't want you to visit his punishing her. He wants her or for herself. No, honey, I'm not gonna listen to you. Because obeying my parents visiting my parents loving my parents and my siblings is a duty salatu Rahim upholding the ties of kinship. So Allah Daraa one adorar harm should not be inflicted nor reciprocated, should not ask her to do anything that she cannot afford to do. You should not ask her to do anything which is forbidden. You should not ask her anything that would harm her. You know,

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it's sad when some sister says chef is asking me to party with him. You know, he says all my colleagues attend the party. And we drink and we dance. I'm the only one who goes without my wife because you're wearing hijab. So what do you want? Honey? I want you to come with me for the party. It's okay, you're wearing hijab. But you know, whenever we're having a party or a meeting, or a soccer meeting at work, this is business Honey, this is what will make money and we will provide for the family. You have to compliment them. So you come she's the only one who's wearing hijab, they will pick on you, I want you to wear this and he chooses for her the cloth which will expose her in

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front of his colleagues or his manager. This is pure evil, no heavy. Even if the ends up with divorce, I don't get you don't even deserve her fingernails. So useful for husband is asking her anything which is forbidden, taken off the hijab, drinking, smoking, meeting with his friends and shaking hands with them. Okay.

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Watching, you know, now I'm going to get into something really serious. And for the purpose of education, we're going to talk about it. You know how some men are addicted to watching porn. So they have certain desire that the wife cannot reach to because of what the watch. So actually, they are implying into asking their wives to watch with them. No. And if you don't stop, I'm leaving you he give him the ultimatum if you need a treatment, because this is some sort of addiction. So when we say TA or obedience, bear maruf so as your own Bill Maher off, so she is speaking about the obedience, like if he was trying to separate her from her family for no reason that this wouldn't be

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permissible. But let's say that she is what about her friends? You know, maybe she's got friends who did not that bad, they're not but he just doesn't like them. Okay, you see the Prophet sallallahu alayhi salam, our Isha said about him that he would walk home and he will find some young girls playing with

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Maybe because she was young. So I would ask him to leave because a prophet has arrived. So they would leave. And the Prophet sallallahu Sallam would call them back. Why are you sorry boo Horner Eli, and he would call him back and say, Come Come and have fun with her. If you know that is something number one, it is not affecting your relationship, your relationship negatively, nor issue nor is that wasting her time. So she is not neglecting her duties. As a mother as a wife, she is not wasting the time sitting with them all the time. Some of the women, some of the friends,

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they may affect the relationship through an evil eyes through exposing whatever she sees in the house and sharing to others. If that is true, it is absolutely your right to ask her not to see this woman, or at least not to bring her home, or not to socialize with her. But otherwise the concept of TA as you say, the conditions Hulen and the capacity is something that doesn't resolve so much. And the second is something that I can afford. In fact, in the Hadith, the Prophet sallallahu sallam was asked about why early Allah Allah said Rasulullah Salallahu Salam was asked, who are the best women

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and who is the best of women. The Prophet sallallahu sallam said the wife who ennovata Li has a lot.

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When you look at her, she pleases you. She's always nice taking care of herself, you know, smell a nice smile. We spoke about that in it. When we were addressing the rights of the wife, okay, the man should do the same, but also the husband who returns home. The prophets, Allah Salam said if somebody is coming from a journey, it should not just surprise his wife with the wood knocking on the door or turning the key and walking in Honey, I'm home. Why is it hat that is the head that Mareeba Yanni, you don't want to see her. Maybe while she's cleaning up while she's cooking while she's smelling onions all over. So give her a buzz. Let her know that. Hey, I'm coming. I'll be home

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in half hour. Look what the Prophet SAW Selim said To what extent is it had that as the head that's the head that Moringa refers to shaving so that if a woman needs to shave needs to clean up herself, take care of her personal hygiene, wear nice clothes, wear perfume, wear makeup, before her husband would come. Give her a chance to do that.

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If you look at her, she pleases you the qualities of the best of women as the Prophet sallallahu sallam said

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and if you ask her to do anything, she does it as long as it is halal and within her capacity when we're in Amata apart. And the third and if you're gone, if you travel, if you go to work fi Neff see how thematic she will guard her chastity whether you're traveling overseas, whether you are busy working most of the day, she has gotten her chastity and she doesn't allow any stranger at home. She's not talking to strangers, okay. And when Malik you give her the money and she spins on the family so she knows where every penny is put she's not wasteful. So apologies o'clock her show beautiful examples there. That's all we have time for for today's show. So we'll be back next time.

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