Fiqh Of Love Episode #21 Family Financial Rights 2
Channel: Muhammad Salah
File Size: 25.27MB
Episode Transcript ©
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Salam aleikum to Allah who have been a cartoon. My name is John Fontaine and welcome back to the fifth of love. Today we're joined again with Dr. Muhammad salah. Sorry, I'm sure why Luke combs Salam wa rahmatullah wa barakatu. How are you, John Alhamdulillah I love you for the sake of Allah. Thank you. I have Becca LADEE. Got Danny fi design the one whom you love me for his sake love you as well, Amin. So share. In the last episode, we were speaking about the rights of the spouse. And we started with the rights or the financial rights of the woman or the wife. And in this episode, I wanted to speak about the non financial rights if that's possible. So what
are the some of the non financial rights that the wife has? Smilla Rahmanir Rahim in the beginning, I would like to remind you as well as our viewers, that is the second episode that we're discussing the rights of the wife. So we're talking a lot about the rights of the wife. And we started off with the rights of the wife, not the rights of the husband. So when we come to speak about the rights of the husband, I want the wives to bear with us. Yeah, okay. So, how many episodes
live the rights of the husband Misha as many episodes as that will make you happy.
In surah, Nisa, chapter number four, and number 19.
The Almighty Allah says who is your own Neville Morrow
and mashallah is to live with them honorably, to treat them with honor, with respect, not just respect with honor. She's your little queen. Why is your Ohana Bill Monroe? And that covers every aspect of life the way you call her the way you deal with her the way you address her before people and if you have kids before kids and even between you and her in the privacy of your bedroom. So the prophets Allah Allah Allah Salaam and he's a prophet Salah Salem used to give his wives like a spoiled name. So our Isha used to call her I wish okay, it's perfectly Halal to call your wife as per name that she likes. Okay. Then the ISA is for inquiry to more Hoonah fossa and Takahashi N word
allah lofi Heilung Tefera sim, a earnable 9019 of surah. And he said women chapter.
So he said, You got to live with your wives honorably, treat them with honor, with utmost respect with love and care. Then he said, and in case
if you dislike them
faster and Takahashi and you may dislike something, whether it's a wife, whether it's a husband, whether it's a walk, business or anything,
whether Allah Allah who you hire and Kathira and that particular thing, which you now you dislike Allah and they bring out of it, plenty of goodness. So it is not the time being, sometimes the person is upset with his spouse or with her spouse for an incident for a mistake that happened or she was embarrassed in public or in front of people and immediately he or she will demand divorce. No, no, no come down. This is only one thing. There are plenty of other things. And the sound Hadith. Rasool Allah is Allah Allah Allah cinema said La Jolla for a minute and Leia frog Jonnie, a believer should not hate his wife. And also a wife should not hate our husband entirely. Obviously,
each one of us have some errors, mistakes, and you know what? I'm full of mistakes. So why do you only pick on my mistakes? Why do you only point fingers to my drawbacks? Don't you like anything else? Don't you appreciate anything else? Don't you like my food? Don't you like the way I dress? Didn't you like the fact that I'm very sweet? I'm kind. I'm quiet. I serve your parents. I help you with your work. I'm a believer. I pray and I offer my my a bad and I'm a devout worshiper. So there is a long list of it.
comes when you have the checklist and you find just a couple of things, while there are other beautiful things, plenty of privileges and you know positive things. So focus on what is positive and this is for both the husband and the wife. So, in many of the marriage counseling cases, I find the couple are having an issue over one or two things, not really too many things. And if these two items can be eliminated or handled or taken care of, they will live a happy life. So, the Prophet sallallahu Allah selama said, you should not hate your spouse simply for one thing or two or three, look at what is positive so, if you have a checklist of the positive things, you will find them
plenty Masha Allah, and that would make you turn a blind eye and act if you did not see what displeases you pretend negligence. The Prophet sallallahu sallam said in the Hadith, which would assist the husband to comprehend what I was just saying earlier. It's also been Nyssa hyaluron. So he enjoined on meant to be kind and good to the wives. Why is it for in the Honda Holyoake naman Bella in ours, because a woman is created from a bent rep.
Many people think this is something negative. And one of our men on Wi Fi, it is a Yeah, you're right. You are created from a crooked rip.
It is not like that.
As a matter of fact, describing the RIP have been bent, or taking that shape fits perfectly its job in order to protect the lungs. If the rib was straight, he won't fit in your chest. So Allah subhanaw taala created everyone with certain features among the features of women being emotional. So she needs to hear sweet words. She needs some assurance, comfort and her he said Why aren't you Hoonah been maruf? I shall Radi Allahu anha
says I remember when I was looking from my apartment, you know her room used to open the door would open to the masjid. So she was looking at a show an exhibition, which was offered by the abbey seniors they were playing with the daggers and spears. Okay, a military show. And that was in the mission.
And the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam was covered in her with his clock, and she was dressed in her shin over the Prophet shoulder. And the prophets Allah said, I'm gonna say, is that enough? She says, No, I want to see more.
Wait for some more. And the Prophet salallahu Salam would wait, and would wait until she said Hollis enough. Then I Aisha Radi Allahu anha narrated that and she will say Takuro Lee injuria T Hadith at a senior kodra. So you gotta appreciate that young girls like to have fun. When a husband, especially if there is, you know, some difference in the age He's a little older than her. So he is a wise man. He's a CEO of the company, he wants to treat the wife like his suite in one of his employees, everything is on time I want to walk in on a firefight in the food on the table, and it must be warm at this kind of temperature and all of that. No, this is not like, you know, work. This
is home. There must be love, compassion.
The kind treatment between both. So even from from this hadith, you mentioned this example. This was even kind of public affection as well.
You know, like did the public, you know, this was in public, right? So people could actually see. Absolutely, you know,
if the Islam teaches us, that if a husband and wife are having an issue with each other,
it should not be taken outside their bedroom. I didn't say outside that house, outside the bedroom. So the Prophet sallallahu Sallam says Al headrow should be only Phil Medaka Jani, if worse comes to worst, and you're really upset with each other or you're upset with her. So you're sharing bed, but you turned to the other side, you will give her your back. This is the Hydra that the Quran refer to. You don't go outside. You don't speak to your colleagues. And you could speak to your parents and your siblings. My wife did this and this and this and that because guess what? You and your wife and similarly, the sister, the how the wife, you and your husband, eventually were reconciled. But
the people whom you shared with all the
negatives, they will not forget that. And every time they meet your spouse, they will remember all the negatives that you spoke about them. So this is just the general idea of the meaning of why she ruhuna Bill Morrow, when almost selama was with the Prophet Salah Salem on bed, but she notes that her menses started, so she slipped away. The Prophet SAW, Selim said, Come on over. Have you started the menses? She said yes. He said, come back. And he took her under the cover again. And as I mentioned earlier, the hug the cuddled and she says the he would do, he would kiss me even while I'm fasting. You know. So there is
there is no problem to do that. In addition to that the person the husband actually must pay attention to the woman's need, the emotional need, the physical need, the physical desire, because most men demand the rights in bed.
There was just on this topic of the needs of the woman.
I just remembered
the story of when the Prophet salallahu Salam where he raced. Aisha, exactly. You know, and this is, this is, you know, an event which happened during a journey. It was in one of the battles and the Prophet salaallah Salaam was returning home. So the whole army is there. And the prophets, Allah Salam takes our Isha far away, he Spears time to give her some fun. Not once, not twice, it happened several times. And she caught it upon us twice, once, when she was traveling with him, along with Muslims, and he raised with her. And she was a lot younger, slimmer, and she beat him. She won. then several years later, as she grew up, and she put on some weight, and he said, Let's race. Just I'm
gonna ask you, how many times do we tell our wives go for a walk? I mean, we'll go to the gym and we exercise but we'll tell the wife, It's haram. You cannot go to the gym. You cannot wear those tight clothes. So when was the last time you decided to take her for a walk to exercise or go to the park early morning or over the weekend after you drop the kids to school?
weekdays and you just walk and you checked and you talk Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam would be praying at night, and between the Torah cause he would turn around if our Isha is awake. He would have a chat with her. Like was with the rest of his wives sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So he raised without Aisha, he let her watch the show and he was very patient with her.
Sofia around the Allahu anha.
Sophia was a short lady. And she wanted to ride on the back of the camel in the saddle. So Anna 70 Malik Ravi Allahu Allah narrated that he saw the Prophet sallallahu Sallam kneeling down and put in one of his knees up so that she could step on his blessed knee in order to ride on the side. Right on the back of the camera. Is any of us by any mean better than the prophets Allah Salam? Will this incident lower his you know, status? Of course not. Just o'clock hashtag. So Subhan Allah is very important. One of the rights of the wife is the husband has to be kind to his wife. And we're just going to take a short break right now and we'll be right back after the break. Join us in a few
minutes for the effects of love.
Salam Alaikum Hello. Welcome back to the Feck of love. So I can show it from salaam John rahmatullahi wa barakato. Sheikh you know some couples maybe the man maybe he goes out and he studies maybe he goes to classes. I was actually studying even at university.
You know, should he actually share this information with his wife? You know, what about her education as well? It's one of the eyes of the wife upon her husband to teach her to educate her to give her the chance to learn particularly about the deen because Allah Almighty said in Surah taurine in number six. Yeah you Alladhina Mn O QU and fullcycle more Alikum Naraku Han Nasser al Hijra. So you are as a family father, as a husband. You're not just responsible for yourself, to do the good deeds and to avoid the Haram in order to enter heaven. No, you want your wife to be with you. And in the future. When you have kids, you own your kids.
To be with you as well. So the Prophet sallallahu Sallam provided his spouses with what is known as continuous education, the Companions would come home and share with the Prophet salallahu idea center, and they share with their wives, what the Prophet sallallahu Sallam taught them. And then the women came to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi salam.
And they say the Rasool Allah
that how can that mean attend the classes and learn and benefit and we don't enjoy that as much. We want you to give us a day so that only women can get to learn from you and the Prophet sallallahu sallam said, You guys get together and we'll we'll meet with you and he started meeting with them on a regular basis to give the ladies a tally. That's why he said let them now Ima Allah in masajid. In one incident, he said for a woman to pray at home is better. But on the other hand, he said for the hospital, the way the guardian or whoever is in charge, you should not prevent women from going to the machine is going to go into the machine. It's not only about attending the prayer Taleem classes
courses sessions, nowadays Masha Allah with the electronic Dawa the distant learning the courses online, the husband should encourage his wife to attend such classes, even pay for her potions and classes in order to learn. She learns she becomes a better believer, he becomes a better believer, the children become better as well. What about some wives who are expecting, you know, the husband to pay for a PhD or something like that? He's not he's not required to do that. But if you can afford it, and if it is needed, why not? You see, we say, oh, some wives or say that I read somewhere that the husband must hire a maid for the wife could read it, if he can afford it. But if
he is struggling to survive, he can barely put bread on the table in Surah, two Pelican and number seven, Allah Almighty says Leon do Sati min Sati one whom Allah subhanaw taala made him prosper and has plenty of money he should spend accordingly. Get a driver garage affair, get a maid gotta cook, fine. So she is a queen at home, just wear makeup and enjoy your time, attend classes go out go shopping, but if the man cannot afford it, and most men are like that, most people middle class or low class or under the poverty line, they are just making it. So the wife should not push the husband to the edge or actually make him end up earning unlawfully in order to satisfy her needs. So
you're talking about you know, maybe if he can afford it, he can you know, he can help her with her studies. Painful to study, why not, you know, even if he was to have maybe three or four wives, three or four wives and you know, the wife gets suspicious or jealous. How does he actually helped with this, when the Quran limited the number of plural wives because before Islam, it was unlimited. In any religion before Islam is was unlimited. And neither the Bible nor the Torah have ever addressed this matter only the Quran which limited the number, but Allah subhanaw taala says, For LM, daddy love our header, so he has he said one or two or three or four. But in case that you
you're afraid, or you assume that you're not going to be fair, in treating them fairly as far as time and spending, then one is enough. And you should stick to one. So the furnace in dealing with a co wives is concerning. The time that you spend with them. The money that you spend on them. Everyone based on their needs. This one have kids this one doesn't have based on their needs. But when it comes to love, affection and emotions, no one has any control over that. You know what? Even with your own kids, you may like one of them more than the others. Right? Yeah. Why? Because of so many reasons. Love is in the heart. So sometimes without reason you're like, you have Miami Apsara
you have an S you have but you like and us more than anybody else? Or do you like Sarah more than anybody else? Or because one of them is the youngest? Or one of them is the Shane, the same feeling with you. So you cannot actually control your emotions when it comes to whom you love more. As long as when it comes to the treatment. You're fair. So that is perfectly okay. See, when you speak about fair treatment, you see,
you know, are we talking about equality or justice? Because of course, one wife may have four children and well my wife may not have any children, you know, so did he both get a four bedroom house for instance? As I said, Everyone based on their needs. Yeah, exactly.
So, you know, sometimes
some husbands, maybe they travel a lot, maybe they go to work or even dour, or you know, maybe they they don't see their wife for a few months. Okay, is this permissible? And what races a woman have for this? For a man? You know how some people say that I want to marry sure another one. Why he says because Allah give me strength and I have this sexual desire which I cannot satisfy with my with one wife. You got to also keep in mind that the women have also physical needs must be fulfilled. And that's why it was our top may Allah be pleased with him who said that a man should not stay away from his wife for more than six months, based on a very interesting incident that happened before
him. So he started investigating, and he decided and he issued the verdict. Any Mujahid any Muslim was going, joining the army, going to any battlefield or for training, should not stay away from his wife more than six months. Why because women to have needs so that you would not, you know, leave them without the attention of their physical needs or pay attention to their physical needs shake. I've heard some people say that after six months, then the merge is is finished. Notice my true manager marriage is not finished automatically. Just shake in Islam.
You know, in the Quran, he speaks about beating the wife. And sometimes this is misunderstood and used by non Muslims to try to say that, like men are allowed to be of their wives. What's the correct understanding of this? The correct understanding
is very obvious. From the explanations of Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam himself. When he said, Well, I have the reboiler in one who lays his hand on his wife is Nikki.
And in another Hadith, he said, Those who be the wives are the worst of people. Because some wives came to the Prophet sallallahu Sallam complaining, he said, Allah Iike sharara come, they are the worst of you, those who lay their hands on their wives. When a woman came to the Prophet sallallahu Sallam asking him I have two proposals. This guy and this guy, one of them was by the name of Abuja, the Prophet sallallahu sallam said, As for this guy, Lai Allah wa sallahu, Antarctica, this guy is always cutting his stick, I wouldn't advise you to marry him, why because he is known of beating people. So he is not necessarily aggressive, by he is not the kind of person whom you would think
that he is, you know, very kind. And even if you differ with him, he would never lift a finger or lay his hand on you. So the Prophet sallallahu Sallam advised her not to marry this person, because of the season. So the understanding of people that they have the right to the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam.
As a shout out the Alana said he never beaten a woman or a servant never laid his hand on only on the battlefield when he has to fight otherwise. And and he's our role model. Why don't you follow Him? So now we reconcile this with some of the I have the crime when he says the loss and I'm when somebody beats his wife, like he's beaten a slave, then he calls her for bed, what kind of a man is this? You know, what do you exhibit? What kind of relationship is this? When Abdullayev now bear solidly Allah and was explaining the idea of number 34
of surah. And he said, you referring to well let into her phone and she was the one variable Hoonah WA, Jerome Neff in my budget was very Wuhan. So the stages of free, consoling and fixing the marital issues. If you think that your wife is misbehaving is doing something wrong, and it's something terrible, the advice then I'll see her when we come to speak about the husbands wives and we discuss the ayat and the Hadith and disregard a wife would make certain that she wants to please Allah and that will be through making certain that her husband is happy. As long as he's not asking for anything weird or strange. Then ever wanna, if we frequently study together, some of those are
Hadees like, one of the most pleasant moments is when you and your wife or if you can have a chance to you your wife and kids open the book of Fredo Salah Hain and study chapter by chapter, the 40 Hadith, or study that the fear of the short is and you're just reading from the book for them. You're educating each other all of you, you know, you're right.
and your limitations. Were Juru who Nephin Maharaja and the Prophet Salah Salem says, The next stage, and it's like escalating, to turn around to give you back to her in bed, and all of that because she's done something terrible. Or she's not listening. Okay.
Loretta had your LFL bite, and do not step outside the house or outside your bedroom and show people that you're not talking to your wife. Then the third is the discipline. And what are the live now best says, the use of the miswak or the toothbrush, it is not the beating in a sense of, you know, hitting, no, it's a sign of disapproval. Yet, the prophets Allah Allah, Allah senemo says the best of all of you is the one who's best to his wife. And I'm the one I'm indeed I'm the one who's based on my wife has never ever laid his hand on any of his wives or any woman at all. Just her show. That's all we have time for today. So thank you again for joining us on this show. And for those of
you at home, please make sure you tune in next time and we will be covering the rights of the spouse. And next next time we're actually going to be going into the race. It's like you're telling them not to attend your
make sure you attend the next episode each hour. That's all we have time for the thick of love a Solomonic conference Allah he will back out