Fiqh Of Love Episode #20 Family Financial Rights
Channel: Muhammad Salah
File Size: 24.17MB
Episode Transcript ©
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Salam aleikum. Hello. My name is John Fontaine and welcome back to a brand new episode of the fake of love. I'm joined here today with Dr. Muhammad Salah Scirocco, Shia y equals Salam wa rahmatullah wa barakatu. You look happy today. No, subhanAllah it's just been an emotional ride so far, you know, the whole series and
we've got a very interesting topic coming up for today. Sure. So today
I wanted to speak to you regarding the rights of the spouse, and specifically today I want to touch upon the rights of the woman or the bride.
They asked you why do you begin with the woman or the wife because you know, ladies first I'll tell you why hold we begin with the eyes of the wives. First of all, because Allah subhanho wa Taala stated in the Quran in surah, Al Baqarah, second second chapter of the Quran and number 228, what a Hoon, Miss LADEE Allah hinda Bill maruf.
This gives the perfect balance between the rights and duties, not only of the wife, but the wife and the husband. Alana, the pronoun refers to the wives the feminine. So Allah Almighty says wives, they have dues similar to those which are due upon them. They have rights which are similar to the obligations which are due upon them. Likewise, for men, they have rights and the obligations they're espouses. So Allah subhanaw taala began by saying Lohana for the wives, they have
rights, they have dues. So in this case, we'll begin by discussing
those rights, which the wife deserves to be paid on falling from the husband beginning with the financial rights. And again, why do we begin with the financial rights not any other rights, the protection the love the affection, because the financial right is actually is the actual beginning because it takes place even before the marriage contract, and before consummating the marriage, which is secure in the gallery. I know I spoke about it before in an episode discussing the gallery and all the outcome of the gallery. But it's okay to remind the viewers that the delivery is the first of the financial rights which the husband owes to the wife whether immediately or if they
agree to defer the entire dowry or certain amount of debt
in the last in the episode where we actually spoke about marine a lot more depth. You also said there is a debt you know, and it should be paid off as soon as possible correct?
Well, I'm gonna miss Lydia Allah hinda been model the first slide we see the financial right the dowry Allah subhanaw taala says, in Surah Nisa will add to Nisa saw Ducati in Nagla.
We already agreed to that. Then there is the isas for improving Allah Kumaun che in Minho, nevsun for Kulu, honey and Maria.
this segment of the eye shows that when the wife collects the dowry, they becomes hers.
And neither the parents of the bride nor the husband have the right to ask her anything of this dowry. It's hers. So the IS is important Anna Comanche and men on have said, if the wife decides to remit some of the dowry, or foregoes or gives you a part of the dowry as a gift, then enjoy it. It's Halal Kulu, honey and Marie and with pleasure. What if she doesn't? This is now her position. You cannot say but I am the one who gave you the money or the money was a compensation for agreeing to marry that sabak And it has become hers. The wedding gift and it's refundable. Is not refundable. And that's why sometimes when a couple gets married, and the husband happened to buy a lot of
jewelry for the bride, and that is perceived as a part of the dowry order delivery. Then
he was at that he's in need, he wants to start a project he wants to buy a car. So he says honey can I take a
loan from you. What I don't have I only have good, okay, can I take apart of that? And Insha Allah, as soon as I possess the amount I will pay you back or pay off your shirt, so she will give him whatever. Many people take this money, and they never return it assuming that were one. Yes, you're one. But when it comes to the financial position, everyone is independent. You see, this is important here because in especially in a non Muslim society, especially where I'm from England, you know, when people become married, their finances, like you say they want. But you're saying that in an Islamic life that you should always be separate. Not like what you're saying, but I'm talking
about, I have a position. This position has nothing to do with your position, when they have a joint account, or the wife can go to the grocery store or pay the bills and the utilities. This is great. But the man is working and she is working or the man is working alone, and she has an access to the account. Now we're talking about the woman's position, the wives position, let's say that she inherited something from her dad or mom or uncle. This inheritance is hers is hers. It is not for all of them. So if she willingly wants to give you a part of that, or all of that as a gift, that's fine.
But if you decided to take a part of it as a loan, then it's a loan which you must settle once you are capable to pay it off. Okay, yeah, there is a meaning of it and terminal akkermansia in men rough Sampha Kulu. Hania Marie, if she doesn't give you any, then it's not us. If she remits part of it, or if she gives you a part as a gift, or if she gives you a loan, then you have the loan you have to pay off. If it is a gift, enjoy this is Hello without putting any pressure on her. Then among the financial rights is enough, aka
Vemma and * woman and Wiley him. The man happens to be the guardian of the family and the family father. Why?
One of the reasons as Allah subhanaw taala said he has given this guardianship because he's in charge of supporting the family financially. So he works he earns, he puts bread on the table, and he delivers wherever the house is in need for again, Bill Maher off. Bill Maher roof means on a reasonable basis. So somebody's income is 20 grams, and Masha Allah the house spends three or four or five, he can afford it. But somebody's earning is 2020 100 and houses in need for 3000 We're not going to kill them, we're not going to ask him to steal, we're not going to ask him to, you know, to accept bribery in order to, you know, to make up or to come up with the difference, then the House
have to squeeze itself in order to live in accordance with the income of the husband. So the word will Morrow means on reasonable basis. Well, and mono Dilla, who is gonna work eastward to Hoonah Bill Maher off, and mahmudullah Who here refers to the father of the child. Now the couple have a child who's in charge for covering the expenses and mallu the law the Father, and he's supposed to provide for the mother is supposed to provide for the child and whatever the mother needs of clothing, of medications, of hospital bills, you know, a food of formula milk, whatever. This is all the duty of the husband to make available and to work hard to make available. What does isa again,
what are the mohu de la hora is gonna work is what one bill ma roof. So you do not put somebody to the edge or keep demanding things you know that the husband can afford. And by the end, you're just literally forcing him to steal or forcing him in some societies to take his life because he cannot afford it. Do not push him to the edge Subhan Allah is very interested in SubhanAllah. So the husband has to take care of her needs he has to spend on the wife. And when you're seeing it depends on the individual, of course, also in different cultures, you know, people and also different levels of living as well, because some people are more poor, some people are richer.
So what about I mean, this is kind of a late question really, because maybe I should have asked this earlier on in the series. What do you think? What do you think about marrying into different cultures?
and different, older say classes but you know, marry someone who's maybe financially financial, you know somebody who's financially better off. You remember who said that if I'm a rich person and I find a guy who is very good, very righteous, educated, but he is not as well. As much as well as our family for innocence, I wouldn't mind asking him to marry my daughter, because his plus is something good to add to the family. Again, if the daughter agrees, and if she's happy with that with her consent. So in this case, I'm not going to ask him to squeeze himself or push him to the edge in order to come up with a certain amount of money to make her live in the same standard he cannot
afford it. And from the beginning, I know that he cannot afford it. Unless if I give him a job and increase his salary, that is something different. The blame will be on the person who have the means and he is kind of tight, he's cheap or miser. So we'll turn around and we'll say to the wife she has already even to take from his wealth and his money like he leaves money at home or in the safe take whatever is sufficient for you and your kids.
The Prophet sallallahu Sallam used in this regard the term Alma woof again, okay on reasonable basis, a woman by the name hende, who's our Sophie Aaron's wife, after they both accepted Islam
and the Prophet sallallahu sallam was teaching women the etiquette of being a good wife and being dutiful to her husband. And she got up and she said Dr. Rasool Allah, in Ms. Sophia Raju Loon, Shahi my husband, I was Sophia and it's kind of tight. So is it permissible to take from his money, he doesn't give me enough money for myself and my kids? So is it okay to take from his money without his knowledge? Would that be considered stealing the prophets, Allah Salam said, No, take whatever is sufficient for you, and your kids, Bill Maher roof, not to buy a diamond ring. But because you need to buy food, medication, pay the bills, school, tuitions wherever is reasonably sufficient for
you and your kids to the floor Hashem, we're just gonna take a short break.
So join us after the break in a couple of minutes, the effects of love ceremony.
Salam Alaikum salam. My name is John Fantana. Welcome back to the effect of love. In this episode share, we're discussing the rights of the spouse. And specifically we're speaking about the rights of the woman. Just before the break was actually speaking, you mentioned a very interesting Hadith actually, where they were the prophets Islam was asked regarding mulatos If the woman needed needed some money, and if she took some of the wealth from her husband, obviously a reasonable reasonable amount of wealth, that this wouldn't be classed as steal it? No, because it is obligatory upon him to provide for the family
providing enough Shake what about if the husband was to take some of her wealth without her knowing that is stealing that steal? Why?
Because the wife is not required to support the family financially. And unlike almost to give this typical example of in case that ask one have
plenty of money, that he pays a cow on a regular basis on this money, it is a cattle and his wife is poor. Can he give her a part of this occur? The answer is no. Because whatever the wife needs, is do upon him.
So he will end up becoming a beneficiary of this ACA that he pays which is not permissible. On the other hand, if the wife is wealthy and she pays a cat, and the husband is poor, he is laid off, he doesn't have a job, he cannot afford to support the family. Can she give him a sadaqa for her wealth? That is permissible? Why is it permissible in this case, because she is not required to support the family financially. She is not required to buy clothes for the husband. She's not required to put bread on the table and buy food for the family or pay for the tuitions of the school for the kids. That is not her job. She has other duties that will be discussed in sha Allah in the
next episode, but his duties among them is the financial duty which is the dowry supporting the family financially and so on. So other than financial duties, what are the
raised as a woman
from I would still say that it is considered among the financial rights which is the housing. Okay?
In sort of Pollock, the Almighty Allah says asking one man Hi, so second to me odd come.
So the man is supposed to provide the housing, whether it is a rental property or a property that he owns. I mean, who would love to have a nice place like that to live and he comes back from work and they take a dip in the pool, and lunch will be ready and the maids are fixing the food picking up the table. But if I don't have We're just filming here.
We're just sitting in the place just to clarify, this isn't your I mean, it's very shallow
will be much better than that. Okay. But after we finish, you and I are going to little, our little tiny flats Alhamdulillah shiplap. Even if it is little tiny, if it is filled with happiness, then it is very spacious and roomy. But if a place is as vicious as this finish or even more with a couple of fighting, and every one is accusing the other and pointing fingers, no matter how big, how spacious, how roomy is their bedroom, maybe it's a suite, with Jacuzzi and all of that, but it's held. So the person understands that it is not that pace or the place which will create happiness is actually maintaining, maintaining love between the couple. And if it is not love than being God
fearing and the Hadith, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he says
that was in the Federalist speech. Like he was wrapping up his mission by saying and he was addressing men. It duckula Finisar or people fear Allah and TBO duty to Him. A respect of women.
When it comes to your wives, daughters, sisters moms, feel a Allah concerning them. And then he specifically mentioned the wives. Is it a nakoma? Hustle Munna the Emanuela was the halal to follow Jonah became Atilla Obeah dilla. And that means, you know it has been has been made lawful for you to sleep with them, and get intimate with them only because you have taken them with a promise from Allah. When you propose then there was a JB and Kaboul and agreement in he said, according to the book of Allah, and according to the guidance and the Sunnah of Rasulullah sallallahu Salah. So that's a promise. And that's a vow that you're going to treat her kindly. In the light of this
guidance, will this guidance is teaching us to be kind to them, to teach them whatever is necessary of the deen of Allah to be good Muslim wives, good Muslim parents and mothers. Okay, that is your duty as well. To be protective, not to expose them to any harm to make certain that your house is happy. And again, Happiness isn't only due to financial capacity or affordability, no one was spoke about asking or Hoonah min height or second to me Modi do come from the beginning if you can afford it, then she should have her independent housing. The prophets Allah Allah Allah said had how many wives at a time had mine. He did not put two in one apartment,
each one in her apartment. And we receive lot of complaints. A lot of sisters feel depressed and feel oppressed due to the fact that when he got married in the beginning, he was very sweet and promising. Now she says I'm just a maid, to his family, not only to the parents, but to the ELO's. His brothers and sisters are made, though they hire that mate, but without paying me they just feed me that is not permissible. Subhanallah so she she has the right to her own accommodation. Exactly. And that should be actually you know, it's understood, but unfortunately due to the fact that in some cultures, this is not very clear. So that should be stipulated from the beginning. My daughter
should have her own accommodation. Your family your parents should visit anytime they are your family. Okay? What was the arrangement or the wife so that she maybe she's ready to receive them. She's feeling well, tomorrow is a finance for the kids and she's
In studying with them, and then all your brothers and sisters, nephews and nieces don't come to visit. That is not right. There should be communication between you and her. She is not feeling when she's sick. She cannot cook for this whole gathering. Well, if you're going to cater the food or the food from outside, fine, but if she's going to use her, must be with the arrangement with her. When a woman has her own accommodation, she feels much safer. And she is more given and she likes to decorate the house, clean up the house take care of doubt. She decides what her husband or consultant against what are you going to eat today? What would you like me to cook for you today?
Versus when she is used as a servant? Somebody is dictating to her. You gotta do this. You gotta do that. We're cooking this today. What happened yesterday, and she doesn't have a say, ASCII no one mean how to second to me emoji. It doesn't have to be a big place according to what you can afford shake. What about the emotional needs of a wife? Of course, we spoke about the financial needs but more emotional. The Prophet sallallahu Sallam is our own mother, no doubt, right. And he said in the Hadith Salallahu Alaihe, salam, hydrocodone, hydrocodone,
hydrocodone, clearly, the best of you is the one who's best to his wife, and I am the best of my wife. This is what the prophets Allah Allah, Allah Salah mercy. I want to give you a couple of examples to see the emotional rights and how the Prophet sallallahu Sallam fulfilled them in the best possible way.
Almost Elena's daughter,
we said before almost lost her husband, and she had a bunch of kids. So after the eighth there was over the Prophet salaallah Salah proposal, she said, yeah rasool Allah, I'm an old woman, and a bunch of kids. He said, Well, your kids will be my kids. And that is the main reason why the Prophet Salah Salem would marry I would do with a bunch of kids, while every young woman would desire the Prophet sallallahu Sallam to take her as a wife. But the prophets Allah Allah Salah and marriages were for reasons and wisdoms. So her daughter said that, almost selama her mom when she got her period used to wrap themselves with certain close, so that they will not spoil the place and so on.
And the Prophet sallallahu Sallam realized that she got her period, and she distant herself. She doesn't want to
come close to the Prophet sallallahu Sallam assuming that she is an estate of the menses, that he would not be interested in her. Then the Prophet sallallahu Sallam called her and he said, Have you gotten your menses? She said yes, he said, Come, come, don't worry about it. And he took her under his cover and the cuddled together. And she said that the Prophet sallahu wa salam used to kiss her while fasting. And whenever he entered the house, he would kiss his wife, and before leaving, even for the Salah, would kiss his wife, and we'll learn from that, that kissing the ones wife or hugging one's wife does not invalidate the the wudu so the wives of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam were
telling us that the prophets Allah Salam was the best and the most ideal husband, even though they were multiple wives, you know, take for innocence when our Aisha Radi Allahu anha was asked, how was the Prophet sallallahu Sallam at home? How was the Prophet salallahu Salam atto look, I can let our Isha talk and read to us. And we have a whole program, a whole series. Just explaining and discussing and sharing what our Isha said about the Prophet sallallahu Sallam as a husband. She said, Can I gonna hit Matteoli? Isn't this more than sufficient? He was always serving his wife and his family, taking care of the gate, cleaning up his shoes, patching his clothes. So when his
clothes, clean him and his assistant, his wife, and she says, Well, the Allah on her might the Prophet sallallahu Sallam would stand up praying, and he would recite a longer citation. And then between the two rockers, he would turn around. Aisha is asleep in one corner of the room.
And he would look at her I wish with a spoon name. Are you awake? And if I'm awake, he will have a chat with me. Then he will resume his prayer salatu salam. This is a man who's running the affair of the greatest OMA Subhanallah but he does not forget about his wives. We all have problems at work at school in the street. When it comes to home. The wife have emotional rights, you have to pay attention to just Sokoloff sex of hellos beautiful
points you made the supply is very important.
and it is o'clock Hershey. Thank you for joining us because that's all we have time for on this particular episode. So Paula, beautiful points which the shake has mentioned. I hope we can actually learn from them and take some benefit from them. Join us next time for another episode of the fit of love as Sara Marie Corsola he will barakato