Fiqh Of Love Episode #1 Why Fiqh Of Love

Muhammad Salah

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Channel: Muhammad Salah

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Salam Alaikum Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salatu salam ala Rasulillah. Welcome to a brand new series of the thick of love. This is the first episode of a new series where we aim to be speaking about all the topics to do with marriage. And to join us on this journey we have Sheikh Dr. Mohamed salah, Salah, welcome Chef alinco Salam Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh Thank you, John, for hosting me here, Jesus. Thank you for joining us Baraka Luffy May Allah bless you and your family and all the viewers. I mean, I mean, you you also. So Sheikh, we have a very good topic. And I feel like this is a very relevant topic. Yes, indeed. You know, especially for the

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times that we live in in you know, we have Muslims all around the world, people who are living in Muslim Societies, people are living in non Muslim societies. And marriage of course, is a very important part of being a Muslim. So in this episode we want to speak about why is it important to learn about the topic of marriage in the first place?

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Smilla Rahmanir Rahim Al hamdu lillah wa salatu salam ala Nabi Mustafa about in the beginning, I like to invoke Allah to make it easy for us to comprehend his deen and to teach us what we don't know. And to say, Hello, Beshara Saudi westerly Emery. Data melissani of Kava Kohli

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* of love is really important for every Muslim

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to attend, because we need to attain the tranquility and peace of mind, which is the main purpose of getting married. This is what the Almighty Allah stated in surah. Room, chapter number 30, verse number 21. He said the purpose of getting married, and why he created spouses for us, so that you may find comfort, repose and rest in them. And this is not happening nowadays. In most cases, John,

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the divorce rates are on the rise worldwide. It's really scary. Take for innocence. In the United States, every 13 seconds, there is a divorce case Subhanallah, which leaves us with like 277 divorces every hour. And that means, in other words, approximately 2.5 million divorce cases per year as a very scary figure that's just in the United States just in my head states. And you might say, speaking on behalf of some of the viewers, but we are muslims are different. Well, the world now has become like a small village as a fact. No one can deny it. And unfortunately, whether in Muslim countries or non Muslim countries, it has become so close. Because people are learning from

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each other. Unfortunately, they're not learning necessarily the right stuff. But the social media, the internet has made the world a small village. So in Muslim countries, likewise, in a country like Egypt, the divorce rate is on the rise, especially in the last few years. It's unbelievable, every 2.5 minutes, there is one divorce, that's really scary.

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Not to mention in in the case a where the Haramain Mecca and Medina, very religious people every 10 minutes, there is a divorce case. Keep in mind that the number of the population in a country like Saudi Arabia is very low compared to a country like Egypt compared to a country like the United States. So when you know that there is a divorce case every few minutes among Muslims, there must be something wrong and indeed there is.

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So So I mean, this really strengthens the the importance of going back to the Quran and the Sunnah for guidance, ya know, within the marriage, not only within the marriage within everything, but in the indices, and in this episode, we are talking about marriage, love, proposal, engagement.

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Getting married

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and resolving marital problems and issues that erupt between the couple in the light of the Quran and the guidance of Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam in order to really, really live a happy life. Allah Almighty said that you do not get married just to have kids. And to continue your generation. This is one of the reasons but the number one reason what was mentioned in the I mean it and Haleakala Coleman and for cecum, as well and later schooner Li has sukoon,

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calmness, tranquility, serenity, joy, delight and happiness. So when you come home, you're coming to your safe heaven, you know, and when you come home, your wife is very delighted that you've come home, both of you find in this nest, the source of joy and delight, there is only one read, there is only one way to achieve that, which is to follow the guidance of the Messenger of Allah peace be upon him in this regard. Why?

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Because since the Almighty Allah sent Adam and Eve the first couple ever existed, he sent them to earth from heaven, than Earth is not heaven. Earth is full of tribulations and trials, tests and turmoils problems, afflictions. So he said for him my idea Nico mini houden family Tara who Daya Fela your doula Yashka. So you stay any live on Earth. And for those of you and your offspring, those who follow my guidance, those who will follow ever I reveal to them the instructions of those and do not lose respect of everything in life, then they will never go astray. No suffer of any distress. So on the other flip woman out of and Zicree Fenella whom is Schatten. Wonka. As for those

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who will turn away from my guidance, my resignation, then the life will be miserable. So and we are witnessing that on daily basis. Now we're not talking about daily basis, as a matter of fact, it's per second. And every 13 seconds, there is a divorce case, in a country in a free country, like the United States is really, really scary.

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I read about the French sociologist,

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Soul Jordan, Dr. Sol Jordan,

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he made a study and the the study is really shocking. He said that 85%

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of the marriages, which experience love and love affairs before marriage end up with divorce.

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This is totally unlike what people think. So what we need to do is set aside sociology, and psychology, this is all good and useful. But we know what to know and want to hear from Allah, what will make our life happy? How can we experience peace of mind? How can we really attain the tranquility, which you Allah said and mentioned in diversity? See, this leads me on to the question because, of course, especially in the West, where I'm from in England, America, and Europe, etc. There's this myth, if you like, that you must, you know, that you have love at first sight, or you find your soulmate. There's, you know, it's that somehow, you're going to find the one who's meant

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to be and that you have love first. And then you start looking at marriage, even within the non Muslim societies, they would even have like an engagement, where they would even live together, they would live as a couple, you know, kind of as a trial basis, and then they would get married in maybe one or two years. So what does Islam say about this, you know, in terms of having love, before marriage, that should be discussed in very depth and detail in this program. But in brief, since he asked a question, any pre marital relationship is absolutely forbidden. It varies from mere looking at the other party. Like if you if you're a man and you like a girl and you keep looking at her,

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whether this likeness is lustful, or is it true love due to qualities and characters and so on, you know, you have limitations in this respect. And it goes all the way to going out to dating, touching hands kissing, and even share in bed. All of that

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is regulated in Islam. So any pre marital relationship is absolutely forbidden. You like somebody get married, then everything is permissible. Who Nellie Bassel lacco Antonia Basler Han, you can enjoy this marital relationship in a peaceful and a pleasant way.

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But the premarital relationship is absolutely forbidden. And we're all aware of that. In the past when we come to Muslim countries, and we'll tell them that are myself, like 25 years ago or more, I was in one of those nice stores, they sell suits in New York City. And I saw a couple they were walking in to buy suits, one for the groom the guy. And then he required and he said that I must find suits, which, you know, the sizes of my children, various ages, and he had four kids. So I was kind of curious to find out, you know, so I said that we'll be living together for 15 years, and those are our kids. And we finally decided, it's time to get married. Because we really like each

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other after having four kids.

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This kind of relationship in Islam is perceived as adultery. And when I say in Islam, it is not any different than in Christianity, nor in Judaism. It is a board, it is forbidden. In every religion, there is no premarital relationship. Subhanallah so this, this kind of has a snowball effects, because there's a lot of repercussions to this, as well, which Inshallah, through this series, we'll be able to actually discuss in a lot more detail, you know, a lot more of these topics. Sure. So, in terms of,

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as I mentioned, love before marriage. You know, of course, you say that, the we know that having a relationship with someone is not permissible before marriage. But what about if somebody says that they actually fell in love with someone? You know, because I get a lot of questions, especially on Facebook, and I know even on your show as coda,

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so many, maybe over 90% of the questions that you're asked on a weekly basis, not to that extent, but

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a lot of them are to do with marriage, you know, divorce and all sorts of topics. So the point I want you to ask is,

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can somebody have the love before marriage, or does it come after?

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Of course, because love is instinctual. I mean, it happens whenever it happens. And we'll also believe that there is love a different site. Once it clicks, it clicks. Islam does not forbid that Islam only forbids you know the wrong approach of how to go about it. The Messenger of Allah peace be upon him said in the Hadith, mera a to Lille moto have been misled Nica. There is no other solution for a couple who are in love. Other than marriage, just get mad. But the question is, you know how to differentiate between love which is based on facts,

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different from love, which is based on fiction, or love, which is,

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in other words, you can call it lust for love, you know, because of the look, because of the way she dresses because of the way he's grown muscles, you know, the appearance

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so just hold that thought there a moment shake, we're going to take that as an opportunity just to take a short break, and inshallah join us after the break. We'll be right back to answer some of these questions.

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Salary counselor, welcome back to the thick of love Schiff before the break, we were speaking about the love, love, the thick of love, you know, in Islam, and the importance of actually studying, you know, from an Islamic perspective, marriage and all the details regarding marriage. So should back to what we were speaking about. How can studying this topic make us a better spouse?

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Of course, when the person appreciates the blessings of getting married, and this appreciation is achieved through learning. You do it as before acquiring your rights. Before asking about your rights, you gotta understand that it comes with a package mutual rights and duties. The Almighty Allah says in the Quran Voila, hon. Mr. Liddy, Allah hinda will maruf in the second chapter of the Quran. So this idea keeps a perfect balance between the rights and the duties of both the husband and the wife. So it doesn't go in one direction that you only have rights without duties.

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Know the wife demands rights without fulfilling any duties, no, both have rights and duties. So this program will educate us concerning the rights and duties of both the spouses. And that would lead to become a better spouse, to your husband or your wife, and be a better parent as well. And to be a better servant before Allah subhanaw taala to be saved, and to save your family. Because when a couple meet, and they love each other, and they want to get married, and they don't ask what is halal, and what is haram, whether the consent of the Guardian is required or not, whether we need to process a marriage contract, or can just move in and share bed and become like a boyfriend and a

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girlfriend, lot of people don't know, John, so it is our duty to educate the Muslim Omar. And it is the duty of every couple. And every young man and woman who are interested in getting married to learn about the ACA, the rules or regulations of getting married, have marriage engagement of the dowry, of the witnesses, the consent of the Guardian, in the case of the goal, and the responsibilities of each. So I like that point that, you know, the,

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you know, focus on your duties before the rights of course, it's a beautiful point. I think that I think that reminds me of one of the statements of one of the companions, he said something very similar, that he he fears asking his wife for all of his raise out of the fear that she might ask him for his Yeah, and actually and actually there is a better response by the great companion, Abdullah M. nobis. May Allah be pleased with him and his father. Abdullah not bass was the prophets cousin and he is known as the Third Romain of the Quran the greatest interpret of the Quran. When he came across this Iola Han Miss lo Lydia, Allah hinda Bill maruf Look how he comprehended the idea.

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Every man in the world in every marriage counseling I attended, and I, you know, operated.

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Normally, the man is complaining that when he comes home, his wife is not neat. She's not dressed up nicely. She's not wearing the makeup and the perfume that he likes. But very few men realize that day to smells, and they're coming from work with sweat, and they just want to hug and kiss and share bed immediately. Like she's supposed to be ready. But you're not really yourself. So I believe not best or the Allah on on Anhu said, I swear to Allah, I adore myself. The same way I like my wife to adorn herself for me, you like your wife, to wear the makeup? And to look beautiful for you to cut her hair and to do whatever every woman does? Right? You like to see her always like, on the night

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of consummating the marriage. Correct? You too. So this is what Abdullah nobis? How would one adorn herself himself like in the case of the husband, taking a bath, combing your hair, wearing a nice perfume, brushing your teeth, you know, things of this nature, men the work which beautifies them like women. Exactly. So this is just a simple example of how the companions of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam were imitating and following the footsteps of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam are becoming the best husbands to their wives before the men in their wives to be the best wives to their husbands. So presenting yourself well, smelly, nice looking good. Yes. You know, this reminds

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me of a joke of,

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of a where, you know, the man was asking for his wife to smell good and look good. And she said she was complaining that he doesn't brush his teeth. Yeah. And he said that he brushes his teeth

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once a week, but He does it so but he brushes his teeth so good, that he only has to do it was

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first of all, it's an important point that as men sometimes you know, if you've been married for 510 20, maybe 4050 years even, you know sometimes you let yourself go on both sides. You know, as they say the men and the women it's important to keep that nice look that image keep the the How can you call it the the spark, as they say correct emerge. And also you know, this course and the series is aimed towards really saving the individual, the spouse whether it's he or she you know in the in Arabic the word zellwood applies for both the groom and the bride, the husband and the wife.

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Woman at and halacha Coleman and Phu Kham as well as and as well as an explorer

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have that. And as those applies for both the men and the woman, so the series is aimed towards saving the individual, as a spouse, as a result, a husband or a wife, as a parent, and as a child, and that means saving the family, and then family, saving the whole society, when the family is healthy, and then we have so many healthy families that results in the health of the entire society, the success of the entire society. But when the nucleus the seed, which is the family is corrupt, what do you expect from the whole society to be corrupt likewise, and that's why no matter how advanced the non Muslim societies we see, but we see the highest suicide rate, and the highest

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divorce rate, and the highest and unmarried rate in these societies, even you find with the highest rate of people who are in prison, you know, people from broken families, you know, people raised without father or without a mother, you know, without the support of the family unit as well. So luckily, even though divorce is permissible in Islam, but in this series, Inshallah, we're going to learn the danger of divorce, because it's not only there are many considerations, the biggest consideration is whether you have kids or not, because in case of separation, they suffer a great deal. And the suffering reflects on the entire community on the site or on the state, it is not only

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on themselves, not on the small family as the main thing. So the person really have not to be selfish, and to think deeper, and with a broader mind, that I may bear some suffering, for the sake of saving, you know, not the small little family that you are, its family, father, but the entire society at large. And it's important on that note, to actually think about what but when divorce does happen, and there are children involved, you know, that both sides, you know, the husband and the wife of the who have separated, that this should still allow the father to or the mother, you know, to deal with their duties towards the children, you know, because a lot of a lot of times in

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today's society, people are taking the children and they're using the children as a kind of way in sha Allah when one of these episodes were, we'll be speaking about the custody and the rights and the duties of both spouses towards the children in case of separation. But we just wanted the viewers to be aware of the fact that the series is aimed towards,

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hopefully inshallah educating the Muslim community to have and to form a better lifestyle, a better family, in order to attain the tranquility, which Allah subhanaw taala inspired us with when he said, later school, no, Elijah, and this Sakina the song quality and serenity will not be achieved without those ingredients, which he said, What are another inoculum my word datain was Rama and he made and he plays between you as a husband and wife, my word, which is compassion, and Rama, which is mercy. And compassion is a lot broader, and more general than mere love. Because I can simply love you because you look cool.

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Or because you're smart, or because of your complexion, because the way you talk, because you impress people, because of some talents that you have. But this is not the only component which really should make a person form the decision of loving somebody to the extent of

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choosing him or her to become the life mate to become the parent of their children without the father or the mother of their children. It's a lot deeper than that. It's a lot more serious than just meeting somebody you like him or you like her, Hey, let's get married. You know, in best case scenario, they don't want to commit adultery. They don't want to have a boyfriend or girlfriend relationship they will do it and Hallett. But there are many questions to be asked before making that final decision. Inshallah JSOC Lakeisha Subhanallah sir, very nice introduction. I'm very excited to actually get on with the rest of the Sharma the show and that's all we have time for

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today. So we just like to welcome you all back next time please join us again next time for another episode of the fit of love where we can discuss these matters a lot further JazakAllah Harris and I'm only crops Allah.

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You