Social Media & Smartphone Usage

Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari

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Channel: Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari

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And then sit here for not too long in sha Allah to listen to something which inshallah hopefully benefits myself and order firstly Sharma who died I would like to thank the masjid here, the Melbourne Grand Mosque mashallah I came in when I was coming into the masjid I said to the Brother Ma sha Allah this Masjid looks so beautiful from the outside. Inshallah hopefully is beautiful inside as well and it is physically and Allah make it beautiful also and hopefully it is spiritually as well inshallah with the prayers and with the IMA and and with the taqwa of the people who are attending and frequenting this Masjid May Allah reward you might be able to share and also that the

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people in charge of the masjid for facilitating this

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and also those people who've invited me the Zohar the institute, this is my first time here in

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Australia, the continent or the country of Australia umbrella Hello gallery

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I would like to just talk about something which affects all of us.

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And it's a reminder for myself

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and fought for a reminder for you as well.

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One of the greatest challenges,

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if not the greatest challenge

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of have the current times

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a challenge what do you when we say challenge what is the challenge? Challenge is something which is beneficial, which is something we need to use which is in front of us which something which you can't escape,

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but it has lots of pitfalls and lots of dangerous things within it. That's what you call a challenge.

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You know one of the translations for or for the word in Arabic fitna

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is a challenge one of the translations the word fitna, in Arabic is a very comprehensive, very deep word, very sophisticated word. You can't really translate it with one word in English. There are lots of terms in Arabic that you can't translate them with one English word. And fitna is one of those. A trial a test a challenge.

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So one of fitrah is not always bad. fitna is a test. It's a trial. It's a challenge. It's something that you can you can't avoid. But at the same time, there are a lot of pitfalls. It's very dangerous, very delicate, very dangerous, and a person could fall into a lot of hands. That's what we call something that's fitness.

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Test, challenge, trial, fitness.

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So what is the greatest test? One of the greatest tests or one of the greatest challenges of all, what is the greatest challenge of the current times?

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What is it? I'm just trying to get your attention to, so that, you know the messenger sallallahu alayhi, WA, ala alihi wa sahbihi wa salam used to say, Allah or Cameroon, shall not tell you something. And then the Sahaba said, you would get their attention, draw their attention. This is one of the etiquettes for the teachers, whether in the school or wherever, one of the methods of teaching is, shall I not inform you of something? Should I tell you something that's so amazing or so beneficial or so disastrous or so dangerous? So you get attention, catch the attention. And then you mentioned

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there's a book written in Arabic called Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam written by a great chef of recent times, Chef Abdel Fatah Hooda Rahim Allah Allah, which is translated into English methods of teaching prophetic teaching. And he describes all the ways of teaching and if those of you who are in teaching whether in school, university college, or wherever, it's good to read that book methods of teaching. So anyway, I still haven't told you what the challenges

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come shall not tell you and I'm sure you guys know let me ask what if I'm sure the first person will say the correct answer what is that greatest challenges whether

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now you know the answers you're gonna give me the all they are not none of them are going to be the incorrect answers because they are all challenges. But the one I'm looking for that's one perception of them. Yes.

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Okay, you can say that as well. That's a good challenge, but not the one I have in mind right now.

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Well, we say present that is a very important and I was thinking of that as well, but it's connected to what the brother said here.

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The online world, the internet,

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the smartphone

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Social media, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter,

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tick tock, which tick tock SEO is you're just taking and talking over your life

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that's what tick tock is tick talking away your life.

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We are living in a time where we've experienced two revolutions in our lifetime.

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Normally, if people experience one revolution in their life, that is huge. People don't face even one revolution.

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The post industry world that was like a revolution some people lived before and then afterwards industrial

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changes in the world. That was like a massive revolution.

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Some of you here have probably only faced a second, the second of the two revolutions, some of the older ones.

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And I can see some people here we've experienced two major revolutions.

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First revolution was the actual advent of the internet. I remember living in a world

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a pure world in which we had no Internet.

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Anyone else relate to with me on this? Yes, mashallah, in the 80s, when I was growing up,

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if we got stuck on the middle of the road, we had to like go somewhere to a telephone box and put some 10 Pence in the UK coins and 20 pence coin and make a phone call. I sometimes take my kids, my son, I used to take him and say look, this is the telephone box. We used to go sometimes this is how life was back in the day.

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There was no internet.

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Laptops, there was no such thing as laptops, computers were in some offices, maybe big massive, giant machines.

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People used to use telefax and and, you know, fax machines and things like that.

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First revolution was the actual advent of the Internet.

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Even though it might be in existence in the world, like the online from 80s, or something, or 90s, I think, but properly, the normal average person became accustomed to and started using the internet was around the late 90s. If I'm correct, late 90s. I remember I made my first email in 2001. It was a bit late people were using it just before that I was studying somewhere in the Arab world. And I remember that, before that I used to write some letters home, back home to the UK. Before that I was studying in the subcontinent. And at that time, it was just letters, I would write letters. And then when I went to study in the Arab world there I remember that one of my siblings my sister mentioned

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to me that you there's something called email

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so what is an email we go to the internet cafe and then you know, this is like I was like, before, it was just like, at the masjid once this at the new thing. I didn't didn't even know how to type. It was very, you know, getting used to the internet. That was the first revolution, a big revolution as it is.

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And then the second revolution

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which is the advent of the

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This distinguishes in everyone's pocket.

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What did the brothers fitna machine,

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the not so smart phone?

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Who gave it the name the smartphone?

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You know in Arabic.

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They say smartphone and hearty food the key in the Arab world they call it a hearty food, the key one of my teacher says you should call it and have a full hobby. Now not so smartphone.

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Now the issue is that this is a double edged sword. This is what fitness does benefit as well. It's not fully completely harmful. There's benefits in it as well. This is what we mean by Fitness Test trial challenge. Something in which there's positives, there's benefits, but at the same time, there is a lot a lot of harm and a lot of harm. And a person has to really, really be careful and protect themselves.

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This is what you call a fitna.

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The messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam called Women fitna, for men. That doesn't mean it's bad. Every woman is bad stuff for Allah. How can you say that sisters are listening by the way brothers.

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Women are fictional like the bad no meaning women are a test for a man.

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That could be good

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for you, if you can marry to a good woman, she can be good for you. It could be your gender in dunya an alpha. But there's also test and trials as well.

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They could destroy your life for you as well. Or you could destroy your life through them. This is what you call a test. This whole internet industry and the social media that we are experienced that we are living in right now. And life is moving so fast, so fast. It's hard to keep up with what's going on in the world now. It's moving so fast.

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A great test does benefit we can use all of this positively.

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Of course there's benefit

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even in things which are haram.

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Some of the things there's benefit, you know, clear haram in Islam, those things which Allah subhanaw taala prohibited. Allah says in the Quran, yes, Luna and in Hungary when

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they ask you about wine, alcohol, while myself gambling. One fee him if Monica Be your own woman afio leanness say, oh, messenger. In these two things, there's great harm in the refers to harm is dangerous for you. It's bad for you. It's evil. It's sinful. But woman out of fear or in us even in alcohol and wine there is there are benefits for the people.

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There are benefits in alcohol. And sometimes we need to use alcohol, sometimes in medication and some other things and it becomes permitted in certain cases. There's little fish behind it. But the point here is that

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it's not absolutely harmful. Totally, there's benefits.

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But what if then Allah says, What if the more Huma qubole may never email, that's the point, the harms outweigh the benefit. And that's why it has been prohibited for you. It has been made haram for you, because the Ethem the harm outweighs the benefit.

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If we apply the same

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analogy to the internet, and the smart phones, and they're not so smartphones,

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they ask you about the smartphone.

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Saying in the smartphone, I mean, I don't think she said like that, because you're trying to make it like a verse of the Quran. But the same thing point about this internet and the smartphone and that we have,

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it has benefits also harm.

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Now, the question is, in terms of whether it's actually permissible or Halal to use this or not, same criteria,

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does the harm benefit or sorry, the harm outweigh the benefit, or the benefit outweigh the harm?

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Now nobody can give a fatwa or a ruling, nobody because it's left to each individual. The ruling will be will change based on each individual person. For some people, keeping a smartphone or mobile phone and you being attached to the internet is probably harmful. There's more harms. And because there's more harms, It's haram.

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We have to think about this, that sometimes having a smartphone is probably unlawful for us. Nobody can decide. It's tough to Kullberg ask your own heart. Everyone needs to decide and judge for their own selves.

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For some people, it's unlawful for some people, it's no for depends.

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So this is something that we really it's a massive, massive challenge, especially with our youngsters or with our children with our youth, parents really need to like the brothers. And that's another challenge you tie it in.

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There are many, many harms attached to it. One of the main harms attached to the internet world on the smartphone, is the issue of addiction.

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This is highly addictive, highly super highly addictive. It's more addictive than drugs. People can leave this for a second. We all know we have a bit of addiction on myself. I'm talking about myself as some sort of addiction. We all have like always it's in our hand imagined before we used to move around and walk around without something being attached to us.

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So straightaway, as soon as they're in a car that is just there with me. It's like your heart and soul and life. Everything. Always everything's in He'll calm. This is everything mine. This belongs to me without this. I'm half dead. I can't be alive. This is my soul.

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This is how the world has become this is my soul. My room

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Oh, my spirit, my soul my life. Everything is without this I am. If I lose this, imagine if I lose this. And I have a lot of scares like that. Because, you know, I misplace things quite a bit. Oh god.

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It's like, half of my life is gone. Everything's in here.

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The addiction that connection, that attachment? Is it taking us away from Allah? subhanaw? taala? Is it taking away from our real life relationships? Is it taking away us from our families, our children? How much time do we have? How much time do we spend with real life real life interactions?

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People are more.

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They give more time to those who are in their phones than those who are in front of them.

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We give more time I was thinking this that why do we like people in our phone more than people in front of us? Why are the people in the phones better? Are they more nicer? Are they better?

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People walk less people in front of you. But we're more we give more attention to those who are on Snapchat or Twitter or Facebook or WhatsApp or somewhere? Why are they more important than those right in front of us?

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Why?

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That's a question.

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There is an answer for it as well.

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The answer for that is basically because the people in front of us, they irritate us, they might say something, we don't have those life skills to talk to them. It's easy to converse with communicate with people who are not in front of us. It's like, you know, those people who go they live a vision they will live a sorry, an imaginary life.

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They look different to other look in real life, you can change the color of your eyes, you can change the complexion, you can do all this filtering on Snapchat and all these places.

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They feel good about themselves long the females, they actually they are unhappy with how they look how they are, how the relationship is, how their marriages, how the friendship is, this is an imaginary virtual world. This is i i look different to what I am really. It's a whole different imaginary world. And they become used to the imaginary world. It's an old in the brain.

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And there's people

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they talk to people, they might say, Wow, you look amazing. You look amazing. No one in real life tells you you look amazing. So they want to get all the upliftment and all these things in from the phone.

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It's quite dangerous. People have lost real life skills.

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They've lost confidence, real life confidence, being able to talk converse with people, they become introverts, they become so quiet in their own world would rather go into the bedroom and close the door and then just go in there and talk to 1000s of people. And then the brain is what we say in Arabic Warszawa. Like, confused, it's everywhere. You know, I mentioned this once recently that Allah subhanaw taala did not create our brain to be connected to 1000s of people at the same time. It's like our brain we've got wires. Like just imagine this a human brain. And there's 4 billion wires like oh, why is going on one's going to Australia one's going to New Zealand and there's white

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it's like an old world to a breed.

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It's going to get you ill and sick the brain.

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Imagine being connected to 1000s of people.

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At the same time.

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We will will get ill and sick. That's this is the reason why people get depressed. One of the main one of the greatest illnesses of today's time is not cancer.

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One of the greatest illnesses is depression, anxiety, depression, mental health. And there are studies experts will tell you the same thing. The reason for mental health the main primary reason for mental health issues

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is the online world social media.

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The brain was not designed to be connected with so many people at the same time. And this is why I always tell my friends that look try to minimize all of this what I'm saying we can't get rid of this, if you can handle that. And that's mashallah, you know, that's an amazing level. And there are people I have friends I know. I have a friend who's a doctor.

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I've known him for many many years in the UK. Still has this big thick Nokia phone, just no smartphone. He said I will never have a smartphone in my life. Until now he has not got a smartphone. But I need to do email. He is a doctor professional doctor surgery as patients. He has a lot

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On top or computer tone, God, its appointed time email, whatever you need to do. That's it. But no smartphones

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lives a very pure life.

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Very you can see the difference in the way he is.

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There are lots of people like that.

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So, if you can, that's great, but for majority of the people, it's going to be difficult. Yeah, I have a phone as well. It's very difficult. But the point is that we need to really really manage

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manage our usage. Addiction is a massive problem and along with addiction, there's wastage of time. A lot of time you know the way this gets addicted it's you know, it's honestly it's so dangerous you go on these like now they started all the shorts and stuff like that. So you look at one video next one, next one next one and so on. It's happened to me as well. I'm telling you to experience once like the next one that's one excellent stuff that Allah just throw my phone away like what's happening 20 minutes has one of my life will ask me not in Santa Fe hostel. Why do we want to look at everything someone jumping and someone doing this? We're better than that.

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We've got a purpose in life. Why waste away precious minutes that Allah has given us will ask for in the internal of course Allah took an oath by the time nine insaan is in hospital Quran

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Hill Alladhina amanu Abdullah Saleh out with a wasabi hot water also they suck

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so this addiction many months What's up is very common right? I honestly really urge and request try to minimize usage of WhatsApp as less groups you are part of the better for your function for your brain FOR YOUR SANITY for your health for everything.

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I until now cannot fathom or understand how a person could be more than 10 groups

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with hundreds of people I don't know how he how someone can do it. Under Law I'm just on one groups one and a half group the other one is like sometimes when

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I have the status on my whatsapp please do not add me to any group please do not not in big capitals do not add me to any group.

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If anyone does not block them straightaway

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because that's also this Atticus as well. That's another topic. There are etiquettes of using.

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Maybe that's a different point, but I can come to but I don't want to go into too much detail. I do want to do a long talk. But there's another whole discussion about adab of using the phone there's books written on this topic in Arabic and Urdu in other languages. I saw one book

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something a Jojoba shaft the other bill, WhatsApp,

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Jabal coffee or shall we other what's up?

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Etiquette adab of using WhatsApp.

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One of the etiquettes is that do not add people to groups without seeking the permission.

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So rueful, you're inconveniencing others, some people broadcast broadcast messages every two, three days, the message message Have you asked the purpose and permission

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every few minutes without seeking permission, sending the messages, even if it's Islamic.

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Unless you it's that person's is your good friend and you know them, or they have told you your admin, but just keep on even if it's Islamic. It's not like you keep on keep on sending messages, you can inconvenience others.

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So there's also etiquettes. But the point I was saying here, the addiction and the wastage of time, try to minimize, just go through the groups like I don't need to be in this I don't need to be in this. There's so much information. It's going to hurt the brain. Just go and sit on a beach and take some fresh air and you know enjoy.

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You know the beauty the nature that Allah has given us a real real, real life. Spend time with the family.

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Every family should have a gadget free zone.

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Every family should have at least an hour or two which is gadget free zone. Which means everyone the father, the mother, the husband, the wife, and the children. Everybody puts their phone away it's not just put it away switch it off. Off. That's it. We should be role models. The father should have my phone off. What time is it? 7pm This is the time nobody uses any gadgets in our house. Switch off entrepreneur should be one place everybody. Maybe that time you can have a dinner together a meal together where people I

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Should we talk to one another?

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families eat but they everyone's on their own phone like everyone's eating different

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it's crazy, isn't it? husband works out what's happening each other. She's upstairs which is what's happening and the messaging text messaging

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downstairs people this I heard as well recently I will the villa people take this in the washroom in the toilet. There are sitting in the toilet for half an hour on the phone

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shaitan is making a stay there

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in this filthy place for a longer period because people are on the phones

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reading stuff in the toilet. That's a place not to go and relax and you know, I know they call it a restroom but you're not supposed to go there. It's not a resting place

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in the harbor Hill

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Sahadi metadata something

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these places are attended by the shape of the shape on filthy places.

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That's why we read the DUA Allahumma inni are older becoming a hobo they will call the hobo is plural of Cubby. Hubby is referring to a male shape on gin. And hubba is is a plural of Sabetha. So Allah Khomeini out of becoming a hobo and how the I O Allah, I seek protection from male and female sheltering, because that's where they live in filthy dirty places, go in the toilet, as soon as the job is done. That's you, we need to get out of that. So this can be very, very addictive. very addictive, when it's addictive, then we will neglect our family will neglect our

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real things of life. We neglect our children, we won't have time, you know with the therapy of children as well if we're talking to our children and they talk to us one of the worst mistakes we can make and if we constantly do this is when our children come to talk to us. And we don't give them the attention or we stay on this. Okay, if something is important you can say okay, son, wait two minutes I need to finish this off when I finish this message of I'll come to you finish it off. Yes now telling me now give them full attention. They get frustrated they come come to the mother they talk in their homes

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there's no time they get frustrated they get frustrated with their parents

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because the parents they're not giving attention

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and then also with our children we need to be very very very careful there's so much things are changing on a daily basis there's so much there all these like I said social media is tick tock and I've never been on tick tock I don't know what tick tock is but I know it's something which is very short

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they go on to all these things and they see different types of people different things and then we know we can I don't want to be too too explicit but it's a lot of lot of harmful and unlawful and

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evil things.

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It can take away the EMA and it can take away the hierarchy the modesty the spirituality that everything

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they can start building relationships friendships with people from all you know one of the basic forms of tarbiyah was the parents should be should be very careful they should be very careful in terms of who their children befriend. They should find good softball and good friends for the children if they're on the internet if they're on the online world we don't know who they are friends when was this other thing that people go on?

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Slow children go on

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No no no I've said snapchat

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Instagram but no this is not social it's something else it's sorry Roblox maybe Roblox but there's another thing

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I remember firsthand my son went on Twitter all the bill I got really got a heart attack discord discord.

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And I deleted it from from his the laptop which I bought him for schoolwork absolutely deleted that was two years ago that was one day he went on it and from then never ever never knows not allowed no Snapchat none of these things and I got a shock going onto discord.

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I was really like taken aback though. Who is he talking to this non Muslims and Muslims and you know, give the Imam they can lose it. They don't even know who that person that oh

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into this, there might be somebody who's saying, I'm your 13 year old friend and could be a 75 year old man on other parts of the world pretending to be a 30 year old boy. No one knows who's who.

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So it's very dangerous, we as parents really need to be careful. And these children, their brain, because they are brought up with this. So they brain is super fast, they understand these things better, we're a bit slow. With this, you'll see sometimes a two year old three year old kid

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so fast with the phone because they are born with that. They will create accounts and things that we don't even know about hidden somewhere computer software or something and there'll be a name and some password, you don't know what's in that file.

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That's why sometimes we want to give them the dunya. But when we give them the dunya, we take away all the alcohol and even much of the dunya we

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do not succumb to the demands of your children, that I want this, I want this, I want this.

00:31:09--> 00:31:11

We want give them a knife.

00:31:12--> 00:31:13

They don't want a knife, I want a gun.

00:31:15--> 00:31:26

No matter how much we love, we know what's harmful for them. You we explain to the children, we love you, of course, but it's for your own good because we love you. This is not right for you, this is harmful for you.

00:31:30--> 00:31:38

Don't get children, smartphones and iPhones from a young age. I am of the opinion that until 1819 They should not be given their own phone.

00:31:41--> 00:31:47

At least at 19 They should not be having their own phone. How can they have their own phone in their bedroom before going to sleep.

00:31:48--> 00:31:53

They should never have access to online in their own room with the door closed.

00:31:55--> 00:32:03

They take a phone in the bedroom before sleeping and they just put their Wi Fi off at night Wi Fi switched off in the house.

00:32:06--> 00:32:14

It's really dangerous. So this addiction and this whole the social media world as well. It's crazy.

00:32:15--> 00:32:27

It's really bad people form relationships and, and then it's an imaginary world. Like I said, there's people who get married on social media, but they've never they'll never see each other. It's like imaginary marriage.

00:32:30--> 00:32:36

Imaginary marriage, on the other side of the world, from downunder to up under.

00:32:39--> 00:32:45

So that's the main, you know, this addiction and this harm that we see.

00:32:46--> 00:33:13

And like I said, mental health has affected. One of the reasons for mental health is because we see too much the brain is connected. There's too much comparing of life. And I'm now talking about even adults. It's not just children if it's adults. See, we have to remember we need to be good role models. We can't start being strict with the children. No discord, no does notice the way all the time ourselves on Instagram and Snapchat and Twitter and Facebook and what role what good example are the parents giving.

00:33:14--> 00:33:23

So if we want to protect our children, we need to practice ourselves. The first step of dunbia is be good role models

00:33:25--> 00:33:29

to be good role models. So this is even for the adults,

00:33:30--> 00:33:31

comparing lives.

00:33:33--> 00:33:47

Comparing lives, you know, people go on social media and they see like their friends, they're going to a restaurant and then the wife comes to the husband and they eating in a restaurant. You're just seeing all the restaurant pictures you didn't see when he punched up.

00:33:48--> 00:33:57

They took nice naps and everything and put it on Facebook, but then the fight or the argument they had just after when they went home that's they're not putting that on the Facebook.

00:33:59--> 00:34:36

Never compare our lives with the lives of others. Do not compare your house to other people's house. Don't do not compare your car to the car of other people. Don't compare your marriage to the marriage of other people don't compare your wife with someone else's wife. Don't compare your husband with someone else's husband. No, not your children with anyone else's children. Everyone's different, everyone's different. And rather, you know the Hadith the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that in the dunya own Guru ILA man who was phenomenal, look at people below you in the dunya do not look at people above you. Look at people below you we in this you know, first world

00:34:36--> 00:34:44

countries in the modern world we are all of us are probably better than 70 80% of

00:34:45--> 00:34:47

people living in other parts of the world.

00:34:49--> 00:34:58

But we always look at people above us. Latin guru Illa man who afocal words of the Hadith of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he Muslim

00:35:00--> 00:35:03

Find no original file no original.

00:35:04--> 00:35:31

I cannot call Arabic here. But this will make you grateful, more likely to make you grateful to the name of Allah subhanaw taala. And there's another Hadith of the messenger sallallahu alayhi salam said that if you happen if you happen to see someone, so intentionally do not go and see people better than one of the new. But if you happen to see, you didn't specifically go but you happen to see someone in a better state.

00:35:33--> 00:35:36

If you just came out of the masjid here, you just saw a Ferrari.

00:35:38--> 00:35:45

You just it came to you. Then the Hadith says, Then it goes specifically seek out people below you.

00:35:47--> 00:36:04

Think about people who don't even have a car, people who are in prisons, people who are who can't have barely anything to eat. in poverty, all of this makes you grateful to the near Mavala social media is completely opposite. It's completely opposite to that.

00:36:05--> 00:36:15

Because you're seeing everything and anything deliberately, intentionally. And it makes us it makes us really in a uncertain state.

00:36:17--> 00:36:38

And then also the fact that now, people can't be happy in life. And I was talking about this the other day without broadcasting their life. I mentioned this the other day in the talk, we need to learn to be happy without having the need to share what food I'm eating.

00:36:41--> 00:36:45

If there's a need to share some pictures and things like that for some benefit,

00:36:46--> 00:37:08

proper worldly benefit, you've got a business or something like that, that's part of your business. You need to put something up or something like that. Or if it's an Islamic issue, if it's there's a proper benefit then fine. But if there's not benefit is just wanting this is what Snapchat is about people just take pictures and videos like this is what I'm doing. This is what I'm eating. This is what I'm I went to the toilet, I burped a past weekend.

00:37:10--> 00:37:11

This is what I'm doing.

00:37:13--> 00:37:21

Or anything good are these are the chocolates of eating before he's just eat it. But now until people don't know that I'm doing this, I'm not happy.

00:37:23--> 00:37:30

So we need to learn that we need to learn how to be happy without people knowing about this.

00:37:32--> 00:37:36

This goes back to this, you know how will people knowing about our lives.

00:37:38--> 00:37:48

So mental health is an issue. Addiction is an issue. Live comparing is the issue. And one of the worst thing is people become apostates.

00:37:49--> 00:38:18

They leave Islam, social media and the internet world is one of those most powerful means of people leaving the mind. There are actually accounts made by those who are enemies of Islam, dedicated accounts to carefully target young Muslims. They pretend sometimes to be Muslims, placing doubts into the minds of the heart, and the hearts of the Muslims.

00:38:19--> 00:38:22

Question you your religion question you about everything.

00:38:23--> 00:38:35

We have no control. So how about we make sure our children are going to the masjid and they stay in our environment. But there's another world that they are living in, we have no control over it.

00:38:37--> 00:38:45

And then we complain one day if one of our children Oh, the will of Allah forbid, they come and say oh, and your son comes and says I'm your daughter.

00:38:49--> 00:38:50

It's dangerous.

00:38:51--> 00:38:51

But

00:38:52--> 00:38:56

the responsibility is that from the beginning, we make sure

00:38:57--> 00:39:00

sometimes we don't wake up until

00:39:02--> 00:39:05

the boat has gone sailing. It's too late

00:39:07--> 00:39:22

when our children become 1819 and then we see all these things that are what's happened. It's too long is too late now. That'll be a start from a young age from the beginning from from where the 123 from, we need to protect them.

00:39:23--> 00:39:35

So there are lots of harms of the whole social media world and there's so many other things as well. But I think inshallah we get the point with these few aspects of social media.

00:39:37--> 00:39:41

May Allah subhanaw taala protect our EMA and protect the amount of our children

00:39:42--> 00:39:43

and

00:39:44--> 00:39:58

give us the good understanding of the make us prosperous in this life make us prosperous in the next life. Life is too short to waste away on social media on the Internet. Generally,

00:39:59--> 00:40:00

you should

00:40:00--> 00:40:06

A lot of other I think I'm going to end with this. I gave a very short tutorial. I think it's shorter than normal days within the same How long have I spoken for?

00:40:09--> 00:40:11

How many 20 minutes.

00:40:12--> 00:40:18

So inshallah but anyway if I think anyone has any questions we can take 510 minutes some questions and then we'll end with that

00:40:23--> 00:40:27

what is it your general understanding after having kids

00:40:28--> 00:40:31

have to be should be done what's the general formula?

00:40:33--> 00:40:34

That's a very

00:40:36--> 00:40:38

general question which requires but

00:40:40--> 00:40:43

general formula there's there's lots of things

00:40:44--> 00:40:46

one of the main things is that

00:40:48--> 00:41:09

make sure that children stay in good soccer, good companionship, bringing them to the masjid always attaching themselves to the people of the to the masjid to pious people, taking them to good gatherings, giving them time. Very important. This is what I'm saying giving them time. Children need time, we need to spend time with

00:41:12--> 00:41:23

at least one meal a day, you know, there's no like extra things, just basic things at least one meal as a family, people should have one meal a day where everybody eats together at least one meal.

00:41:24--> 00:41:26

We should we should try that.

00:41:27--> 00:41:34

At least one meal where the husband wife, mother, father, children, everyone they sit together and they have a meal together.

00:41:35--> 00:42:06

So things like that. And then slowly slowly give them Islamic education secular education. When they become seven years the messenger sallallahu alayhi salam said in a hadith Merola the compass Salado Magna who saw their CV when they're seven years old, command them to pray so you know start and they start praying bring in the hearts love for Dean for Islam for the masjid for pious people for the scholars for books for the book of Allah

00:42:07--> 00:42:11

and inshallah you will see that these things will rub and rub off on them in a nice way insha Allah

00:42:17--> 00:42:19

Allah said half of the Hadith

00:42:23--> 00:42:26

I never said that because it will require more questions

00:42:40--> 00:42:41

it mentalize the actual

00:42:50--> 00:42:53

see the word Barber is a very general term.

00:42:55--> 00:43:43

Without a doubt, it doesn't mean aggressive hitting. That's haram. There's numerous other athletes as well that talk about like you can't injure them or anything like that. That's what that really means. Because it's also used for toilet it halfway through the whole Nephi. The Hoonah was a wonderful Maharaja Water Removal now. So it's used that as well. The meaning of that is not really the physical aspect of it, that but it's more like the psychological aspect of it. So you're a father, or you're a mother who is always very calm, or your husband very calm, right? You never even raise your voice at all. But one day, you know, if they are doing something wrong, it's like you

00:43:43--> 00:44:02

just it's like putting your hand like this on. You mean business. This is someone who doesn't even raise their voice. SOS kind and sweet and compassionate and merciful, so loving and so caring. You seem to look at the symptoms and this is not to be the father just has to just look

00:44:04--> 00:44:28

that's it, nothing else. So this is that type of data. That's why some of the narration says like a C work. It's just like tap especially in the word rebou Hoonah Mufasa roll when they explained in the books of the steel, Carla Mujahid WakaWaka they say like, like I see what it's like just tap. So it's not the physical injury because that's not the objective. So psychological hit.

00:44:29--> 00:44:46

We can't change the translation of the word it means dark means dark, it doesn't mean something else but the explanation of the doorknob is that it's a more of a psychological thing. So but there shouldn't be a need for that you know Inshallah, if you do the tarbiyah then you just have to tell them and they will they will. They will pray inshallah

00:44:50--> 00:44:51

you've got a new student

00:44:56--> 00:44:59

they know to achieve a new level

00:45:00--> 00:45:00

You

00:45:01--> 00:45:02

know how

00:45:08--> 00:45:14

I can't record right now? Probably he heard me He never said no to anyone this this is this is what it was said I love it

00:45:19--> 00:45:20

yes,

00:45:22--> 00:45:23

we do already

00:45:25--> 00:45:30

have this understanding of expectations of social media and internet restrictions.

00:45:32--> 00:45:33

That's it, for example,

00:45:34--> 00:45:36

is a lot more

00:45:41--> 00:45:41

children

00:45:46--> 00:45:48

the mother maybe because she also

00:45:52--> 00:46:07

Yeah, that's a massive problem you see, a good database of children is only really properly possible when both the mother and father are on board, they are on the same team.

00:46:08--> 00:46:19

If the father is on another team, and the mother is on another team, then lot of things are not going to work. So beforehand, they both need to try to get onto the same team, do a transfer,

00:46:21--> 00:46:54

you know, and either you transfer to her team, which you transfer to your team, but someone has to transfer I think, just generally come to an understanding they look for the sake of our children. Let's see, if this agree, disagreements, then let's say that let's go and speak to some experts put someone else in the middle people who are experts in the field people who are good, you know, maybe Imams or religious people but it doesn't always have to be Imams, even experts, let's go and talk to them what's really harmful and what's not harmful. And then once you do that, then you both need to be together on the same

00:46:56--> 00:46:56

page.

00:46:58--> 00:47:16

But yeah, you know, sometimes it's happens you know, it's like one spouse is always always using the phone and all is on the phone and all is on social media and Snapchat Snapchat as well as like the you know the words as well as chat, Snapchat, it's just chatting away, chat chat, chat, chat, chat, chat chat.

00:47:18--> 00:47:20

WhatsApp as well. It's like, what what's up?

00:47:21--> 00:47:24

That's what's up? What's up, like, what's up. And that's it just

00:47:25--> 00:48:04

soon, we should really limit our time on WhatsApp as well. On instant messaging messaging. You know, I was saying once in a talk that if you really need to talk, just pick up the phone and make a phone call what we what you will message each other for five hours. If you just pick up the phone, you can say you can talk about that in 10 minutes. Slava, Nicole, how are you? I'm good. hamdulillah great. Were you okay? Oh, what are you doing new do do two hours of conversation. If you pick up the phone, start 10 minutes, that whole conversation, try it, check your two hours of messaging and just talk to each other, just read those out. And in 10 minutes, Alberta.

00:48:06--> 00:48:08

Time is short, time is limited.

00:48:09--> 00:48:53

So long drawn out messaging, it wastes a lot of time. And what we need to also do that we should try to have some things, important things objectives in life, that you're so busy that you don't have time for. If you're so busy with other things, we should inculcate the love of reading books in our children, along with the book of Allah subhanaw taala, and Islamic book, seer of the messages, nobody will send them. But also if there are other books, beneficial books, you can vet the books, read yourself the book, find out what the book is about, be careful about books as well, yeah, they can't read any book. So you should my daughter loves to read but I go into her with her to the

00:48:53--> 00:49:07

library. And I make sure and you know, I read the blurb and then I'll browse through the book and that's why then I know what the storyline is etc. And then if I see that, because sometimes the message is given in these books are also very, very problematic.

00:49:08--> 00:49:17

So once you know that the message is good, then you give that book, say read is good to read. It's good for them to read books,

00:49:18--> 00:49:43

that is a non Islamic book. So these type of things for children for ourselves as well. If we have objectives in life and things to do and we get busy, get them involved with activities in the local Masjid students and children groups and you get them busy with that they have a focus they have something and aim and goal even if it's showing off no problem.

00:49:44--> 00:49:59

Young children you know if laws and all that comes afterwards, you don't even have to worry five year olds I'm doing it for allies like just don't show off. You're the best like yeah show up in front of the people and you can read the best Quran and your that you can read the best. You know so much Hadith put her

00:50:00--> 00:50:01

puts like a

00:50:02--> 00:50:06

challenge to them. Let's see if you can memorize 100 hits

00:50:07--> 00:50:21

in two months how many have you taken a memorize in Arabic that are good for dunya and recovery in America robinia everyday one one Hadith along with recitation of the book of Allah and memorizing that there's so many things we can do.

00:50:23--> 00:50:29

In sha Allah Allah Allah may Allah make it easy for nurses this test is a challenge is difficult in these times it's massive testing.

00:50:31--> 00:50:33

sha Allah can add with that.

00:50:34--> 00:50:38

Allah, Allah was done for the Los Alamos seminar as you know Mohammed

00:50:39--> 00:50:41

Salam aleikum wa