Social and Family Conflicts 02 Diseased Hearts
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Channel: Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari
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Assalamu alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh I welcome all of you once again to our daily discussion on the topic of family disputes, family conflicts, social conflicts, their causes and solutions.
If you remember in the past few days,
I have been discussing with you the importance of
maintaining family ties the importance of
being good towards other people,
and
the importance of
in polite and gentle in one's interaction. And
the digestibility of breaking ties the dislike and the testability of argumentation, friction, disputes, quarrels, and fights. We talked about this in great detail, in light of many verses of the Quran and many Hadith of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and then I went on to mentioning the first cause of family disputes, family conflicts, the first reason yesterday, we discussed the first reason in quite detail, which was that we need to the main reason cause was incorrect intentions when we do things for our family members and relatives. So the cause was incorrect intentions. And the solution was to correct our intentions, correct our thinking. When we maintain
ties, we maintain it only for the sake of Allah Subhana Allah for the pleasure of Allah, in order to get success and salvation in the ultra in the hereafter in the next life, and for prosperity in the next life and for no worldly motive. When you are good to our family members and relatives. It's for no worldly motive, no aim, objective, worldly, even objective in mind. It's only and solely for the sake of Allah, Allah subhanaw taala. And that's the solution. And I mentioned that many of our problems that we have in our society and many disputes that we have and the family conflicts that we have,
is due to this reason, due to the reason of having a wrong intention in mind, all the problems start from there. So that was the first cause and the solution that I mentioned yesterday. Today in sha Allah deviousness, we move on to
cause number two.
And actually this cause, to tell you the truth in itself includes an entails within it many different causes.
This cause and this reason for family conflicts and family problems and family disputes is a cause that holds within it, many other causes. In other words, this cause number two,
can be then subdivided into further categories ABC and D. But I don't want to do that. I don't want to go into too much detail. But I personally feel that this particular cause that I'm going to talk about right now today in sha Allah and maybe even tomorrow or sorry, I mean, the program is from Monday to Thursday, so on Monday in the next session.
I may take two days, because I seriously feel that this particular cause is probably the most important cause and the main root cause of all
Lower problems.
I remember I just actually gave a whole talk on this recently, last week, a couple of weeks ago, I was in Toronto, Canada,
attending one of the conferences over the weekend for couple of days. And one of the topics of discussion was
the family, the family and endangered species, something like that the title. And anyway, my talk,
I focused it on one issue, and this is what I'm going to talk about today. I said, we have a lot of problems, family problems. And I've been mentioning this over the last couple of days. There's total chaos and anarchy in many Muslim households. There's like soap operas, like I mentioned, every day, something new.
It's just ongoing conflicts.
The main root cause, as I mentioned, and I feel seriously that this is the main route and the main cause of all our social, not just family conflicts, but all our social disputes and conflicts, or our social conflicts, whether it's between the family members, whether it's within the relatives, whether it's between Muslims from different ethnicities and different backgrounds, or whether it's from peep Muslims from different sects and different groups, different mosques, different ethnicities
all these social conflicts and fights and disputes that we have that the main root and the main cause for it is either mu does gear till
either No, does Kia till culpa. Those of you who know Arabic understand Arabic, you probably know what that means already. Those of you who don't.
I'm going to elaborate insha Allah hooter, Allah, either meter ski it
means
having a diseased, diseased heart,
not reforming and purifying one's heart and one soul. That's the major, major root cause all these problems that we have between parents, between children and parents, husband, why, because all these spiritual diseases, our hearts
are affected. We have not purified and we have not reformed our hearts and our souls Islamically it's an absolute obligation does gear to purification of the heart, purification of the soul. Purifying one's heart from the spiritual diseases is an absolute obligation.
You know the teachings of Islam we have three types of teachings of Islam three categories, we have teachings of Islam, the teachings of Quran and Sunnah that deal with a guide that deal with one's belief. So you'll have many verses of the Quran that deal with you know what to believe in and what not to believe in believing in Oneness of Allah Tauheed believing in the angels and the hara and Jana Jahannam, and believing in the culture the destiny and you know, avoiding should associate associating partners with Allah subhanho wa taala, etc. Many verses of the Quran deal with the first category which is Rp, the second category is the category of fake which means the rules of the
external body rules of external body, the physical body, what does that mean? Rules of Islam dealing with how to pray Salah how to offer your perform your Salah, how to give zakat, the rules of fasting, the rules of Hajj you know, these are external physical actions. And the third branch of the teachings of Quran and Sunnah are the rules connected to the heart. Just like there are do's and don'ts connected to the external body just like that Allah Mara Noah he the commands and the prohibitions connected to the external body, just as there are commands and prohibitions connected related to the external body. Like for example, offering Salas, zakat, fasting hij, these are the
do's and the commands for the external body and the goats connected and related to the external body, the prohibition of alcohol consumption, the prohibition of adultery, the prohibition of theft, robbery, etc. Likewise, we have dear listeners, brothers and sisters, we have a one year ANOVA here we have do's and don'ts, connected do's and don'ts connected to the internal self, the heart, and we have things to do that are alignment there are commands such as making sure ensuring we have server we have humility, we have the love of Allah subhanaw taala. In our hearts, we have sincerity of loss, even yesterday's first cause sincerity connects you to the heart and the don'ts, the
prohibitions connected to the internal and the heart, the prohibition of jealousy, and that's what I'm going to really talk about today.
hatred, enmity,
envy, love of dunya love of the world. And these are spiritual diseases that we must read ourselves off brothers and sisters does key.
It's such an important area and aspect of the teachings of Islam. You know what I tell you something no Muslim, no Muslim as long as he or she is a Muslim will ever deny the importance of this gear to purification of the heart. It's part and parcel of the teachings of Islam. It's mentioned it's clearly outlined in the Quran and Sunnah Allah subhanaw taala mentioning the brief objectives of the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in the Quran, the job description of of our beloved messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, Allah, Allah Subhana Allah says in the Quran, who will know the Bertha Phil Amina Rasul Amin and forcing him yet to allow him to he will use the key he will use
the key him when you allow him whom Allah Kitab al Hikmah when Councilman Abdullah Have you been any movie in it is He Allah, who sent
Phil Amina Rasool Amin and foresee him or Phil Medina who Allah the birth of Amina Rasulillah within the electorate people a Rasul a messenger who is from amongst them,
and what is his description, job description, what are his duties, what are the what are the duties of the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
Allah mentions them recites the verse verses of the Quran and he mentioned that other things teachers teaches them the Book of Allah. And the main one you mentioned, use a key him he purifies them spiritually he reforms the hearts he reforms the hearts he's qualifies them spiritually. It is the objective though one of the jobs of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
Allah says God Earth lammens occur
of lemons occur what are the herberman the SIR
the one who has purified his heart a flower has indeed attained Fela success and salvation wakad herberman The sir and the one
and the one who is
corrupted his heart
is indeed in yours at Holloman the SIR yo Mala in foul nearly Well I've been in another verse of the Quran, Yamuna info now the water balloon in Allah be called in Saline yo Mala info 901 I believe in them and at Allah be holding Salim Allah says on that you know on the Day of Judgment nothing will benefit you. Nothing will benefit the human being yo Mala in fact it's a day in which layin fat man while Eben your wealth, your money, your children will not benefit you. Allah is saying that to us and then he says the only thing that will benefit a person will be ill, and at Allaha behold in Salim, except the one who comes to Allahu subhanho wa Taala because bin Salim with a Salim heart you
know what Salim means a sound heart, a pure heart, a reformed heart, free of any of these spiritual diseases and sicknesses and illnesses and you know, these diseases, someone who has a clean heart
the messenger sallallahu alayhi salam says Allah interfering Jessa the Medaka
is a son who had Sahil Jessa Dooku Liu who were either professor, that first hurdle Jessa de colo, Allah wa he'll beware let it be known to you. That there is a part in your body. It's there's a flesh there's a piece in your body.
If that is sound, your whole body will be sound, if that is corrupt, your whole body will become corrupt. Allah he'll call it a no that is the heart. This is the Hadith of the messenger. Salallahu Alaihe Salam, we have to remember when we're talking about the physical heart, we are talking about the spiritual heart, the spiritual heart. It's the main part of of our bodies. If that is good, seriously, if there is good, if there is sound, if we work on our hearts, if we work on our heart, Inshallah, we will have a blessed peaceful society.
It's one of the major cause root causes today seriously.
family conflict social disputes is because we all have diseased hearts Illa manera, Hemara, book, Illa, Masha
Allah except with those whom Allah has saved. But we all have the spiritual diseases, brother and sister we need to work on our hearts. Any problem any social conflict we have, if you've got problems with the wife or with the husband, fix look at your own self, we should look at our own souls. Is it a problem with my heart? Is there something is there a disease in my heart? Is my heart diseased filled with jealousy? Have I got too much love of dunya in my heart? Is it because I have pride and arrogance in my heart?
Do I have too much hatred have I worked on my heart? Have I made my heart pure from these spiritual diseases?
We see you know throughout the world we see if we examine and look at all the trials and tribulations all over the earth, you will find that
they are all because of disease diseases found in the heart. Every criminal every miser every abuser, every jealous man every you know, oppressor every hater does what he or she does, because of a diseased heart.
So, if you want and if you want to change the world, we need to begin by rectifying our out by rectifying our inward first
if I want, if we want a good world, we want peace and tranquility in the world. We need to start brothers and sisters by rectifying inward before we start rectifying the outward Alto is important as well Allah says whether we call it mu about Athena but the problem is that we pay attention to the outward why because people can tell whether we're good Muslims or not by the outward but we don't pay attention to the inward purification of the heart and remember purification of the heart something that everybody agrees upon. You know whatever name you want to give it you know there are people have some problems with certain issues here and there some people disagree with certain terms
don't use the term you know purification of the heart. It's given different names you know, it's cool to schedule purification of the heart it's far more I mean personally obligatory upon every Muslim right and every Muslim you can say its sun, you can give it the term amo a HELOC you can give it sulk Daria Amon called some people like to use the term the soul of Sufism you want to use that we use it if you don't want to use it don't make fun out of it. You see because you know what happens unfortunately brothers and sisters and I want to be frank here because we as Muslims, unfortunately many of us we have this other problem we like controversies. We thrive on
controversies.
We like to waste our precious time on things that are disagreed upon and just debate debate debate till the cows come home. It's a big problem.
And that which is agreed upon, we don't want to even talk about it. We don't want to inculcate it in our lives. Now here as well. Purification of the heart. It's in the Quran and Hadith every Muslim as long as you're a Muslim, you agree I need a non Muslims you took I mean, every sound hearted person will tell you that they need to have sound hearts. Okay, whether you're Muslim, non Muslim, Christian, Jew, Hindu or an atheist, everyone will tell you that you need to have a clean heart, even though expressions, even our daily expressions, the old connected to the heart, you know, we say he's a harsh hearted person, a clean hearted person, a warm hearted person, cold hearted person,
my heart skipped a beat, affectionate hearted person. You know, everything's connected to the heart. And I'm talking about spiritual heart. And as I said, once before the our heart is on the left hand side of our body, look at yourself, brother and sister. It's on your left you look down heart, your heart is situated on your left Arabic language and even Hebrew.
You right from the right hand side, some of the scholars have actually pointed out that in wisdom in it, they say that you don't why Arabic is you right from the right hand side is because when you write something, you pick up the pen and you write from the right in go to the left, you move towards the heart, even writing is to impact the heart. Even writing Subhanallah is to impact and have an effect or a profound effect on one's heart. Reading a book, you read Arabic from right to left, you're reading and you're moving towards a heart when you read a book is to impact your heart. When you read the Quran is to impact the heart. You read Quran, where is it from the left hand side,
no Arabic starts on the right. You read Al hamdu, Lillahi Rabbil Alameen Rahmani Raheem, Maliki on the year Can you hear can Stein you're moving from the right hand side you're going to the left. You're moving towards the heart. All the Quran recitation you do in the month of Ramadan. It's primarily to effect and have a profound impact on our heart.
It's the heart. It's the main part of our body. And that's why the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, and the NFL just said he moved over into a solid, solid color, why they first heard that, firstly, they'll just allow heal.
The whole, you know, soundness of our
existence depends on the soundness of our hearts. So, as I was saying, that unfortunately, this is something totally agreed upon. But yes, there are certain other aspects that Muslims disagree.
Purification of the heart and purifying reforming one's heart. No Muslim disagrees, as I said, even non Muslims agree with it. We all agree, but yes, there are some other details surrounding it on the periphery, on the periphery, peripheral issues, on the margin, they're not the main issues. The main issue, central issue, central obligation photo I in in the central obligatory obligation upon every Muslim is to reform his or her heart, become a sound, clean hearted person, pure hearted person, purification of the heart, okay, and cure one's heart from all the spiritual diseases. Right? Now, that's the central issue around it, there are issues of being part of a particular soul group and
being part of a three a order spiritual order, giving by to shave all these eggs on the margin. And you know, what, if you debate this, you're gonna carry on debating this till the cows come home, and you're not going to come to a conclusion, because the one who disagrees with it will disagree with it all his life, and the one who promotes it and endorses it. It's gonna He's not gonna, you know, because he has a cruise, right? So until the cows come home, you just gonna until you die, you're just going to debate it, why waste our time debating this issue. And what happens is that sometimes, not sometimes, most of the times when we go into debating those issues, the central objective is
overlooked and neglected, because we've spent too much time debating it, we've spent so much time proving it or disproving it, the other aspects which are on the margin, and the central obligation is completely neglected and missed out. And therefore even those who, even those who approve and support the idea of being part of a spiritual Odin and having us shake into so often given via, even they, because they're too busy,
you know, promoting it. And I don't have a problem with that I personally endorse it without a doubt. But we neglect we become neglectful of the central obligation which is does gear curriculum.
And we find people claiming to be part of a spiritual order. Yet, within them, you find every single spiritual disease in every part of the lifestyle. Why because the central important obligation was purification of the soul. We've moved away from that and we've made our objective something else, which was actually a news, all the other things on the margin are actually means having a share giving a buyer a pledge, and, and and all of these things are actually means to an end. And the end is having a pure heart, a reformed heart, a heart free from spiritual diseases. That's the aim, ultimate aim and objective.
But that's what happens. You know, seriously, there's numerous examples of this. I'll give you another example. You know, there's a hadith of the messenger sallallahu alayhi, wa aalihi wa sahbihi wa salam in the Sunnah of Halima Telemedia of the Allahu Anhu and elsewhere.
The messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said he enzio or boneta Baraka with either Minister it Dooney Illa Santa it dunya Hayner Europcar fulfil Hina Yep.
Follow through Leila here. Okama COD's SallAllahu sallam, I can't recall the exact wording, the messenger sallallahu alayhi salam said that you know our Lord descends, remember descends
to the heavens to the skies, from the heavens to the skies, he last summer it dunya he comes to the to the skies of the world, un zoo or buena Tabarka. With the Isla He descends, when a third of the night is left late at night. And then in the messengers of Allah who are listening. Allah comes there, he descends and then he says Manuel Stubblefield oni for our federal law, Mr. G, Benny. Man, yes. Aloni you know, who will ask me who I will answer his prayers who is there to seek forgiveness from me? I will accept His forgiveness. I will forgive him. Mayor de Rooney for ajibola who's there to pray to Me supplicate to me I will answer his prayers. This is a Hadith of the messenger.
Salallahu Alaihe Salam. Now that's the practical
Message, what happened? People who like and thrive on controversies. That's it. They started debating. Allah descends, how does Allah descend this Masood of Allah dissension of Allah Allah descends comes you know love coming down is the attributes of the human there's that debating debating debating debating the you know that said nothing else. The main central maksud objective teaching of that hadith was you know what, wake up when there's 1/3 of the night left to hedge your time that I'm laid off or some Salah to tahajjud some common Laila worship Allah, beseech Allah beg Allah to forgive you seek his pardon, make us the Far Cry to Allah. That's the objective. Now when
that hadith comes even that basic objective, sometimes people don't even see it in the Hadith, because automatically all energies towards descending How does Allah does it? So that's what happens. So let's let's leave all that what we all agree upon every single Muslim agrees upon purification of the heart does key to help no matter what background you are from, right. We and we really need to work on this. It's an absolute obligation. IMANI Potamia Rahim Allah even he in his fatawa collection, he has a whole you know, value Kitab salute the chapter regarding purification of the heart and the soul, if not by him as well, and many others in it's something that and you cannot
disagree with. And you can read books on it. People who are who excelled in this area, Imam, Abu Mohammed, digital Islam, Muhammad Al Hazari, and many others who are the Allahu Anhu.
Maybe to reform our hearts brothers and sisters, we need to and you know, this topic has, you know, we have the spiritual diseases. We have, you know, two aspects and actually, you know, a couple of years ago, not last year in radio Ramadan.
But the year before last last year, I taught somebody you know, the other day said to me that I'm teaching the same thing discussing the same topic, what you were discussing last year. I said, it may seem similar because I kind of, you know, talk about the same issues probably people getting bored, but it's not the same topic. It's completely separate topic.
I last year Iftar time I used to do an hour program, Biden as he will Margaret between us, Iran Iftar. On a Bookman, edible Islam, from the manners of Islam actually taught through that whole book the whole text, A to Zed have it translated it with some commentary on it. The book was called Women edible Islam written by Sheikh Abdul Fatah Bahadur Rahim Allah. And actually the recordings are available. And there's actually I think, 22 lessons recorded of the whole, you know,
this course that I did last year, Ramadan, and they're actually available on the websites on various websites you can search for it. It's on my website, which is the data lifter website, which has been mentioned before as well for questions and answers WWW dot DOL. If that.com. In the audio section, you can actually listen to them. But the year before last year actually taught a book called Path to perfection. And path to perfection is a very good book in English seriously, brothers and sisters try to buy that book and read it. It's for the purification of the our hearts and our souls. We have two aspects we have what we call for ma L and L for ma il.
For in Arabic Purell of fidelity and for Lila to means and for ba L means praiseworthy character traits, and rather ill the plural of Rozella tune means blameworthy character traits. So literally when we purify our hearts, and when we purify our souls, we are removing one by one each of these blameworthy character traits. Each one of these rather in each one of these blameworthy character traits, these spiritual diseases, removing them. envy, jealousy, hatred, pride, arrogance, love of dunya all of that and replacing them cleaning our hearts you see brothers and sisters, we need to first clean our hearts. Before we do anything we need to clean our hearts.
No good will come into our hearts until we don't clean this is the reason why scholars say the holier sorry. You are to public laity. When is the HA ones with a hot
lead to public Talia. cleansing the heart before adornment. You kind of don't anything. You know, my respected father never given me a long life having the hula hula Allah He gives a very beautiful example. And you know, recently a scholar visited him and he mentioned that it's an amazing example of this. He says that
you know, when you have a wall, you want to paint a wall you have a dirty wall with all dirt and filth.
on it and you take a nice paint and you start painting it is that paint going to be of any benefit.
Obviously not, it's not going to be of any benefit, you will need to first you will need to first clean that role. Remove all the filth and on the all the dirt once you polish it and cleaned, and then you apply some nice paint nice color paint on it a nice design on it, you will look beautiful, you will adorn it. And beautiful example given by respected father. So
this is the example of the heart. The heart is diseased. We need to remove each one of these diseases from our hearts and then adorn our hearts then adorn our hearts.
And so, each one of these blameworthy character traits, rather remove each one of them, replace them with the good character traits.
And that's what makes us human beings. You know the poet. There's a poet in Arabic he says Alagar Roshi, foster Camille for La Ilaha alayka de Rohi for Stephanie for La Ilaha for inner Kabir Rohi. Labelle just said the internal Subhanallah amazing line of poetry and eco baru, the stickman for the ILA for you, it is an obligation upon you to look after and adorn your heart and your soul. I look at the Rohi the stacking will further either her nourish your heart, or during your heart, give it all the good qualities give it all the good attributes adorn it, remove all the spiritual diseases and adorn your heart with the good qualities and attributes for stickman for Ella for inner Kerber.
Ruhi level, just at the insulin is because you are a human being by your heart and your soul and not by your body. The point is saying that you're not a human being by a body, there's no big deal in having a body because you share your body. We share our bodies with the animals. We share our bodies with donkeys and goats and lions and cheetahs, and chickens, and birds and fishes and elephants. We share our bodies with all these animals. But one thing we don't share is the spiritual heart and the spiritual disease sorry, spiritual heart and the spiritual soul that Allahu SubhanaHu the Allah has blessed us with. So the poet says
Alexander Roshi for Stuckmann for La Ilaha. The inner Kabir Rohi. Nabeel Jessie insurnace. You're a human being, by your soul, your spiritual heart, your spiritual soul. So work on it. So soon as the brothers and sisters our root cause our problems and family conflicts going back to the topic, the main cause, and I'm going to now connect this that was like an introduction to the importance of having a clean, reformed, pure sound, heart and heart that's been worked upon me to seriously work upon our hearts. It's an absolute obligation that we work on our hearts, right, and by working on them, each one by one, remove all the spiritual diseases, one by one, one by one, remove the
spiritual diseases replace them. And so it will make us a good person you need to really we need to really work on our hearts before we work on anything else. The heart is a central part. And if we do so, we have sound hearts Insha Allah, Allah Allah
and I pray Allah subhanaw taala grant me and all of you geniusness a pure heart I mean, your bill Allah mean a sound heart, a pure heart and a reformed heart in sha Allah, Allah, we need to all of us, me included, just like me talking in and telling what a few I will have been left on my audible alerts, I feel alone unless even you know, it's not like I'm sitting here and saying to all of you, you know what, you've got all diseased hearts and me, I've got like a really pure heart. Far from it. I have probably the worst heart not probably, without a doubt, it's a muscle. It's definitely the most diseased heart is mine without doubt, and whatever I say, I ultimately address it to myself
first and foremost, and then it goes to all of you by Allah. So we need to really work on our hearts, all our spiritual diseases that we find sorry, all our family problems and conflicts that we find ourselves in. It's because of not working on our hearts. We because we've not worked on our hearts, we've got these diseased hearts. Now.
Now we have loved a lot of these bushes, diseases that are connected to our family problems, like jealousy, and hatred and I want to talk about jealousy specifically. So inshallah before moving on to that and talking about how some of these spiritual diseases
impact or how use some of these spiritual diseases of the heart and not and how not having a clear
and pure and reformed heart contributes to family disputes and family conflicts in sha Allah I will do that after I come back from a break so we'll have a short break and then after the break inshallah in the next half an hour, we'll talk about that in sha Allah is alkaloid Saramonic Muhammad Allah.
Sula, Nana Rahim Al hamdu lillah wa salatu wa salam ala Rasulillah heeta Allahabad. Welcome back, dear listeners, so carrying on Inshallah,
with what I was talking about.
Before the break, I talked about the importance of having a pure heart, a reformed heart, a spiritual heart, the heart that we've worked upon, this will help contribute, and help us in avoiding social family conflicts and disputes. And as I was saying, that the main root and the main cause of most of and many of our problems today that we find in the society, whether it's family problems, social problems, you know, conflicts and problems by problems, I mean, conflicts and disputes. The main root cause is having diseased hearts, all of us we've got these diseased hearts, we have all these grudges and jealousies and stuff in our heart that we really need to work upon.
Even the so called some of us who feel like to think and believe that we are practicing, even though some of us who Externally we look like good Muslims. We have the beard grown and we have the Thorburn the job burn. Some of us we wear the hijab and niqab and we like to think and believe we fast in the month of Ramadan, and we offer prayer, we like to think we are practicing Muslims. But if we look at our hearts, some of us have really filthy, dirty diseased hearts. And we'll really need to work upon them. And because of that we are always bickering around and fighting around and quarreling away and disputing away and problems after problems after problems and disputes. Because
we've got a diseased heart. And we really think that we're good practices that we cannot be a practicing Muslim, until we don't reform our hearts because it's absolute foreign binding obligation upon every Muslim, male, female, wearing just the niqab and the hijab, and the club system will not be sufficient for you, if you do not take her jealousy from your heart. If you do not remove the love of dunya from your heart, if you do not remove hatred, and envy from your diseased heart, it's not enough just to keep a vaster the heart central part of the teachings of Islam. So some of us who we think and some of us we actually even think we're spiritual, we, we think, you know, being part
of spirituality and Tasawwuf is just to have a shelf and not see it and run around him. And I'm not saying you should do that you should do that, and respect you. But we think that's the ultimate aim or objective that we have. And we attend the gathering of liquor and this and that, and that's it. But we find that some of us who are attributed to spirituality, we find all these problems within ourselves, because the you know, the objectives have objective has shifted from what was important, and what was the ultimate objective to the marginal issues, so seriously, really to work on our hearts. And as I said, many of our problems are related to having diseased hearts. Look at it, for
example, jealousy, jealousy.
The Quran turns jealousy as hesed.
We have been ordered. And we make dua in the Quran, the second to last Surah of the Quran. One insurer Cherie Hasidim either hazard.
We seek Allah's protection
from the envy of the envia from the jealousy of the jealous one, jealousy hazard, a major spiritual disease. And I don't want to go into all the details. I can talk about jealousy for like an hour. There's books written on the topic, two hours. It's a topic on its own. And I and that's not my theme this year this year is family conflicts, but just looking briefly looking at these diseases, look at jealousy, a major disease of the heart.
It has a deep impact. It creates many family problems and conflicts.
It's a severe disease of a heart of the heart jealousy. And some of the scholars actually their opinion is that they they say that jealousy is the root of all other diseases.
And you know, it's something it's a really bad diseases it's it's the first thing that was committed.
It's the trait of a bliss shaytaan and Satan. He was the first person who was jealous.
You know, when Allah subhanaw taala ordered so you do not add them. All angels to prostrate and make sujood and Sajida in front of Adam Ali salaam
What's going on? Is Julie DOMA for Sergio IBLEES up our stack bar, or condominial, caffeine, he refused. And then said why Haluk terminer or Holika hoomin teen. That's pride and jealousy because he was jealous of Adam. Because Allah subhanaw taala made Adam peace be upon him his deputy in Niger, out of the Khalifa term called attach. Alfie Herman used to do fear. So because of this jealousy he was jealous of Why should I, you know, he is made out of clay, I am made out of fire, and I don't want to Uncharted he was jealous of Adam and Howard. And that's why he did what he did. He tried to try to for us alone Michelle bought for Raja Herman McAfee. So it's something it's a
trait of Shere Khan. If we are jealous, we actually we actually emulating a bliss and Satan.
It's an internal spiritual disease. And you know what the definition of jealousy is, let me just tell you know what the jealousy definition of jealousy is.
Jealousy and hassad is that it's when a person desires that the May Allah and the blessing that Allah Who subhanaw taala has given someone else
that number is removed and snatched away from that other person. That's, that's jealousy,
to desire and to want that a particular near Allah or a gift or a bounty that Allah subhanaw taala has given someone else, it's snatched away from him or her, or she loses it, or he loses it, something goes wrong, whether you know, it could be anything smaller, big A house, a car, a job,
a an envious person, because resentful can even become resentful that because you see that you maybe your co workers promoted your your the workplace, and your co workers promoted, you're jealous. You have this envy in your heart jealousy. You know, something goes wrong, I hope she loses her job, I hope he loses his job.
Who the biller, this is a diseased heart, someone's got a nice house, and you're jealous, someone's got a nice car, you're jealous. Someone's got a nice job.
You want them to lose that a woman sometimes becomes envious of another woman because of her husband. Oh, look, she's got a good husband, I hope something happens to the marriage. We might not say it verbally with your mouth. But in your heart, you actually pray for that. That hold they have a marital problem. And you know, their marriage breaks down. That's because of jealousy. And then you may do things to contribute to that jealousy contributes to remember and to talk ill and bad about other people. And that creates friction and dispute and problems in the family. In the family.
This is this is jealousy creating so many problems in the family.
Father, you sometimes you see you know your parents father's favoring
your sister. There's two of you. He favors more the other sister or somebody he gave something or your brother you're jealous. Jealousy comes and that's it will cause problems, family problems, family conflicts disputes. Someone came in praised one sister in law, one daughter in law, not the other one. Some some people came and you know they always praising you know one daughter in law and they don't praise the other one too much. The other one gets jealous and that's it. The two daughter knows no problem. You know, they have something in between them. jealousy. Jealousy is creating all these conflicts.
You could be practicing you think you're practicing. But if you're jealous, you could be wearing the niqab and gloves and you could be in everything. But if you've got this jealousy in your heart, you're jealous with your own sister. You don't want her to go get over you in worldly gains or the hereafter gains. Remember it's anything to do with this world or the next world. You want a net loss or a gift or a bounty that Allahu subhanho wa Taala has given your fellow Muslim your blood brother sister or fellow Muslim brother or sister any ama Allah has given whether it's a worldly ama order Oribi next worldliness and you pray or you desire or you hope for its elimination for it being
snatched away.
Someone came in you know, there's two sisters they both have two daughters. They both have children, babies born someone praised you know your new bone and not the other one's newborn. And you know you're jealous in the heart spiritual problem.
The root for a family conflict. So what if someone praised you their son or not chosen who gives a damn you know it's people's praises not going to make some your son good advice and good and your son bad, your baby bad and to people not praising and I'm going to make you
Your baby words they are going to remain how they are like Allah has created them, nothing will increase or decrease by people praising or not praising. So just in from one year and out from the same year, not the other year in from the one year and out from the same year that he came in from why being jealous?
Sometimes you will have that you know, you have your newborn baby and someone says, oh, this was wonderful and people like to rebelling and they'll be like, why people get this kind of time and things you know your spiritual problems brothers and sisters, people like to you know,
rub them soft more to the wound and rub things in and make you hear things and people are sly and people want to take revenge and somebody wants to get their over that you you and being cunning and being sly as I said yesterday or the day before that Allah subhanaw taala does not like these kinds of Sly people Allah likes, you know, Manuel Harun Karim and someone who's clean hearted, simple, no grudges, those are the types of people Allah subhanaw taala likes. Those are the types of people Allah subhanaw taala loves
become clean hearted people, brothers and sisters. And you know what, I'll tell you a hadith. This is an amazing Hadith. It's an incident.
And again, it's an authenticated, rigorously authenticated Hadith in the Musnad of Halima.
The messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was sitting with some of his companions or the Allahu Anhu.
He was sitting with a Sahaba.
So when he was sitting the messenger Salallahu Alaihe Salam, he said a year ago on urner Aleikum Rajan in early Jannah, he said, you don't want the next person that arrives and enters the door, the one to appear upon amongst you and upon you right now is a man of paradise. Messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said this, so the companions are the Allahu Anhu intrigued, and they were like, okay, you know, who is this person who's going to be coming? He must be this must be some really good human being really good companion of ours. So they all looked, and the person who
entered was a Sahabi a companion called Sardegna of your cost of the Allahu Anhu his name was sad evening, or be sad of maybe what costs are the Allahu Anhu
next day, the messenger sallallahu alayhi. Salam was sitting against with his companions and the same same, you know,
remark, here thrown around Alec Raja Minette agenda, that a man in the next person to enter a moment of gender will attend, appear upon you. Again the Companions looked again he was sad Ibibio cos, third day the same incident the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa salam said the man to appear upon you is a man of Jannah paradise. And they also that you're saddled with your costs. So one other companion, Abdullah Hebrew, unoriginal us with the Allahu Anhu. You know what he did? He said, after the third date, you know, and then remember, these are the companions because they want to be like them, they want to know, he said, You know what, I went to him and I said, Look, you know this, I've
got some issues at home, can I please stay with you at your house for a few days. And his intention was that he wanted to stay to see his actions at home, this guy, this Sahabi this person must be so pious must be doing so many good actions at home, I want to see I want to know those actions so that I can emulate him and become like Him and be a man of gender and Paradise.
I want to be like him. So he went two minutes said, You know what, I've got some issues at home. Can I stay at the house? So he said, Yeah, by all means, no probs no problem, you know? So Saudi Arabia of course with the Allahu Anhu took Abdullah and Amrinder also the Allahu Anhu to his house. He stayed with him for three nights.
And this is a hobby companion Radi Allahu Anhu.
You know, Abdullah and I'm gonna be honest, he says, that for three days, I was being extremely watchful, I want you to see what has given this person such a high position and rank, that the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has said that he is a man of gender and a man of paradise. So I used to stay awake at night and see, but after three days, I saw nothing. You know, I saw him not doing nothing. You know that when I looked at him at night I thought that he must be waking up at night and and worshiping Allah and offering pm and lowland tahajjud surah and fasting during the day and vicar and of God and this be and it's still foreign reciting a large amounts of Quran and large
portions of the Quran and doing this and that and this worship a night worship, but you want I saw nothing. The only thing was I saw him in the middle of the night he would wake up but he would just wake up and you know like when he whenever he used to wake up used to just stretch his arms and then you know, take a urine and makeup to so far to stop that Allah Allah Allah, Allah, Allah and go back to sleep. You know, just say a few words of this be one hand and it's too far and go back to sleep and let me see anything. So after three days, I could not resist and I asked him I said, You know what?
I want him he said to him that Oh, Abdullah him outside of nebula cos, you know the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam for three days,
said that a man of Paradise will enter upon you and you came and you appeared and he considered you to be a man of Jannah but I don't see you doing any good actions, what will what is that? What are the actions that has elevated you and has given you that position and then Frank and taking you into agenda? So you know what he said? Subhanallah listen to this brothers and sisters and this is something really worthwhile listening to
really worthwhile listening to
Saudi Arabia orchestra Allahu Anhu. He said, No, who were in La Mer Atia
Leia N Nila edgy DOOLEY I had the Muslim In addition, our huddle not the Jerry when he said he called me
while I see DOOLEY I hadn't. I hadn't. I see do
Allah Allah hiding out Otto who la Hui yo Subhan Allah amazing Hadith. He says you know what? Whatever you see, that's That's it. I don't really do anything. I don't spend long hours and times and you know long hours and minutes in worshipping Allah a brother that doesn't you shouldn't do that we should worship Allah and recite Quran because I don't do too much of that. The only thing is that you know what I don't find in my heart any kind of animosity, resentment, hatred towards any
any Muslim.
And he says our hubby will not want to ask you do want to ask you Do I heard an ad or her urine out? Oh, hello, who? Yeah, who? That I don't be I am not jealous of anyone because of any number that Allah has given. And he says, we're probably not the journey we're laser if he told me Renren Allah that you don't want when I go to sleep at night, I take my bed and I rest and I go to sleep. I go to sleep in a state that I have no resentment, no negative thoughts about any human being Subhan Allah Just imagine. This is what makes you a man of gender and Paradise. That's what takes us to gender brothers and sisters. This person this Sahara decided to be with us with the Allahu Anhu he never
had long hours spent in worshipping Allah Tilawat or Quran vicar. stephanotis be but he was clean hearted, sound hearted person, no jealousy in his heart, no resentment.
No negative thoughts about people never, you know bickering and never the desire and the hope of bringing people down and never getting his one his back on someone and never negative things about people keen hearted. As I said, Allah loves simple, clean hearted people. And that's what we need to become dear beloved brothers and sisters. Seriously, that's what we need to become. That takes that's what takes us to Jannah more than anything else you could not be doing. You could be doing your basic thyroid, your basic five time presences, fasting and zakat and hajj that's no extra excessive worship of Allah, but you avoid yourself and you you save yourself from jealousy, from
hatred from animosity from negative thoughts of our people from backbiting, from grudges, from argumentation and disputes, you will become a man of gender and a person of gender and a woman of gender and you'll be the first person entering gender and Paradise. Nella take us all there. I mean, you're, that's all you need to work upon look at jealousy, jealousy creates all the family frictions that we find ourselves in jealousy creates all these family problems. As I said, you know, people are envious of others. People want people's marriages to end, you know, you know, they hope that they have people, you know, a woman who is jealous of another woman because of her husband, so that
so then she hopes that they have a marital crisis. And that crisis separates the couple, a man sometimes it can become envious of another man's wife. We have all these problems. People in the business sector people are envious and jealous of one another. And that's why then they don't talk to one another. That's why they don't talk to one another. They they you know they
they desert one another, they have problems within them. Okay, so jealousy is something that really creates major, major
family problems and conflicts and disputes. So as I was saying, going back to the definition of jealousy,
to desire and to hope that the Nirvana and the bounty and the gift that Allah Who Subhana who with the ILO has given other people that gamma is removed and snatched away and taken away from that he will be there's actually two levels of jealousy.
If one is bad enough, the other one is
ridiculous. The first level of jealousy is that what I've just said that whenever you see someone, or a person sees another with some good gift, nema and bounty given to them by Allah subhanaw taala. And the desire is that nearly snatched away from them and acquired by you,
that's jealous. That's the first level of jealousy. So I see, for example, that someone you know, has really good
whatever, you know, really good house of, for example, or a car or some namah Allah has given you some something some intelligence Allah has given. So I am jealous that I hope you know something goes wrong, and that Nebula is removed and snatched away from that person. And that gift is given to me and I have it. That's jealousy, It's haram. It's sinful, That's level one, it's bad. But even worse than that is when a person is jealous. And they desire is that you know what, I hope something goes wrong with that person, the namah and the gift that Allah has given them it's removed and snatched away from them they lose it regardless listen to this part, regardless of whether I acquire
it or not. I don't care you know what I don't care if I get that car or not. Or if I get that intelligence or not, or if I get that nice house or not, or if I become rich or not. But you know, that rich person down there I hope something goes wrong with him something he uses it. That's, that's like really low. Since the Yukon get lower than that. That's really low. Because that is not is like not even that's like being an animal worse than an animal those kinds of desires in the heart. We do need to work on his brothers and sisters. It's absolute an obligation
to avoid jealousy the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in the Hadith he said Lata has said that the Ebola has to do with Takata Hakuna Allah one, but one of the oldest commands that the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam gave us Martha has said Do not be jealous of one another. And you know jealousy is so bad. There's a hadith in the swinging of Imam Abu Dawood or him hola with the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says
yacon will hazard for inhale hesed yaku will hazard for inhale Hassan Kamal Hassan Al Quran now hottub beware of jealousy because jealousy will eat away all your good deeds like fire eats away would you know how fire slowly consumes and eats away wood and sticks slowly, gradually, slowly, slowly, slowly, like that.
Jealous will each other all our good deeds smells as if
and you know why jealousy is so evil it because we are objecting to the color of Allah, we are objecting, we are raising a question mark on the decision of Allahu Subhana Allah, Allah has decided to give someone some good. That's his division. That's his distribution. That's his decree. That's his, you know, choice. That's his option. That's the way he works. Who are we, as I said, insignificant, human beings to object to that when we say that, I hope that number is snatched away from that person. It's like saying to Allah, you know, what, Allah, you made a mistake, you shouldn't have given him that that car belong to you should have given it to me. It's really, that's
how evil it's bad it is. And we need to work on this. And that's why the hammer they actually you know,
the scholars they actually talk about, you know, the remedies of, of ridding ourselves from jealousy. Well, one of the remedies they mentioned,
is this,
that we think that you know what, this is the way this is the product of Allah, you know, Allah subhanaw taala has divided
this is the Taksim division have Allah Allah has divided his good qualities, sorry, his name and his gifts and His bounties amongst people in the way that he's felt, you know, appropriate. And, you know, Allah gives someone intelligence, give someone else wealth, give someone else health so he doesn't give him intelligence. Someone has brains so they don't have beauty. Someone has beauty, they don't have brains. You know, he's, you must have heard of the phrase, you know.
I don't know what the phrase is, what is it? But there's a phrase that you know, beautiful people and more beautiful people are not intelligent. I don't know about that. I don't think that's true. But you know, sometimes we find that someone's intelligence so they're not beautiful, someone has beauty, they don't have intelligence. Someone has wealth, but they don't have health. Someone has health, they don't have wealth. So think like that. But you know what Allah has given such and such permission this Nerima Allah has given me 100 and 1 million. Just think of your eyes. One thing to think about, you know what you see your sister in law, that you know what she's she's got, She's
more beautiful than you. Okay, your to do.
She knows, and she's more beautiful. And you become envious and resentment in the heart think you will think of one thing that you know what there are 101 million people. So you know that many people, but there's so many people who don't even have an eye to see. Thank Allah, Allah, you've given me an eye to see, I can see, I have eyes to see the beauty on her face. I have eyes to see my own son and daughter, my beautiful son that you've given. I have eyes to see my parents that are homing people out there, they don't even have eyes to see. Think about that. And if you don't have eyesight, think about some other goods. You know, um, that Allah has given you there are so many
people that aren't they can't even smell or taste or eat. Look at people below you in the world. Why do we you know, and and you know what, what contributes to this jealousy because some of us unfortunately, some people in our community that like to you know, they like to go investigate all the nitty gritties and detail from about other people and actually talked about that last year. You know, when I was teaching about Islam,
I talked about not being nosy. But some of us we like to be nosy. You know, we like to go into the details. Oh, how much does he earn? Where has his money coming from? Where did he buy that car from? Who gave him the money? How many bank accounts does he have? How much money does he have in his bank account? Is his house does he bought it? Or is it on rent? Or? This is typical Asian mentality, you know, being nosy and seriously, we shouldn't be nosy. But you know what? The more nosy we become? The more we find out details about other people and then the more we become generous. So why do we want to know about other people Hamdulillah you know a person for the sake of Allah loving for the
sake of Allah, love people for the sake of Allah and her Biophilia will build the villa. Love you for the sake of Allah don't love them because of the bank balance and the money. And don't dislike people because of you know, the unfortunate situation and we love people for the sake of Allah who subhanaw taala our love and our dislike is based on Allah Who subhanaw taala. So don't go into the details of people. And think when you look at someone and you don't go, you didn't go to investigate the details. But you saw on and you know, I saw someone that he's got some good Namor gift bounty, he's got a very nice house, say handy Law was given him a beautiful house. But Allah has given me a
brain a beautiful brain, that intelligence that I think and I do so many good things with my brain. If someone's got a nice car, and they love a lane of the car, Allah has given me beauty Allah has given me health. Look me I've got healthy body, I'm walking. So what big deal, this is a toxin, it's 6070 years of life, then down there, everybody will be equal, as long as we have taqwa in the heart in Ghana. So that's one remedy. Don't be jealous with your sister in law with your daughter in law with your mother in law with with people, you know, around the family, jealousy creates much of the conflict, you know, much of the problems that we find jealousy is created, you know,
by these conflicts are created
by jealousy.
Now,
that's one remedy, another remedy, some of the animosity that you know what we should think the person who's jealous should think but you know, what,
I am harmed the most, because you know, the one who's generous, the Massoud, they're not harmed at all, all the harm is inflicted upon my own self, because I'm always struggling and being resentful and bitter. And every time I see, you know, my, you know, I'm sad, and I'm low, and I become low in the heart. So all you know, in the heart, you know, I have, I have all these bitterness, and this bitterness in the heart. So we should think this is a remedy to jealousy, we should think that
that person is benefiting, I am being harmed in this world and the next world, this world because I am always sad, and I'm always bitter, and I'm always down and resentful in this world. And in the next world, no, punish me. And that person is in benefit because you know what, the more generous I am of him, the more that person will get reward in the Hereafter. And one of the remedies the scholar said alleged and remedy to remove jealousy from the heart is to make dua for him no to say hola, hola. You know what, you know, give him more good. These are the treatments of jealousy. So anyway, I mean, this is jealousy is a very lengthy topic, but the basically bottom line that I'm
discussing here, and what I'm trying to say here is jealousy is an jealousy in the heart and you know, all of these spiritual diseases, man is in the heart of a set wallet, the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said in the Hadith Walterboro who do not have hatred in the heart Okay, so this these grudges and and a diseased heart full of resentment and jealousy and envy and hatred creates most of our problems, if not all the problems and as
had in the beginning that you know the heart. The trials and tribulations we find all over the Earth is because of diseased hearts. Every criminal miser abuser scoffer, hateful, resentful, hater. Pride, a proud arrogant person is because of is that because of a diseased heart. So we really need to work on our hearts, brothers and sisters, you know, many, many
examples of how these spiritual diseases create all the problems in our society, in our social societies and in our families as well. jealousy
and hatred, we find sometimes someone comes and praises you know,
someone a co worker, that's it resentment and bitterness in the heart. And then that will lead you to backbite that will lead you to find every opportunity to bring him down. And then that will lead to disputes, fights, quarrels, argumentation, and disputes and hatred for the rest of your life. So even in the workplace,
this is a such a disastrous spiritual disease that it really brings us down. And in the family. As I said, many of our conflicts within the family are there because of us not working on our hearts. So anyway, to conclude today's discussion.
Today, we looked at what the second root cause of our family conflicts, family disputes and social problems. And I talked about the importance of working on our hearts, working on our hearts, reforming our hearts, spiritually purifying, cleansing, the purification of the soul in the heart is very important. And I said that the one of the main root cause and I think this is probably the ultimate, ultimate root and ultimate cause of social conflicts and family disputes. The ultimate is having a diseased heart,
in the character traits, one by one from our hearts, work on our heart and replace them with the praiseworthy character traits with the good qualities and good attributes of, you know, humbleness or forbearance of sincerity. And once we do that, we polish our hearts we adorn our hearts, we will seriously see differences in our lifestyle, we will see that we are not involved in much of the problems and conflicts that we used to be involved in, we see that our households will become a place of peace and tranquility, if every one of us in our family members if we all strive to work on our hearts become more good human beings, human beings with good hearts and sound hearts and pure
hearts and reformed hearts. If the parents work on the hearts mother, father, son, daughter, daughter in law, mother in law, Sister in law, and you know all these other people living in the house if each one of us takes it upon ourselves, the will work on our hearts and we will fight and struggle against these spiritual diseases. And and you know, the solution is to struggle against the spiritual diseases what is the opposite of jealousy and I'm going to conclude on this to give preference to others you know, others come before you etha so if you're not jealous if if for example, you know, you've rid yourself of jealousy and you've worked on it and now you've got a
clean heart, then you will want for your fellow Muslim brother sister what you want for yourself, you will want for your sister in law, God that which you want for yourself, you will want your sister in law to be better than you in the name of dunya and so this is what we need to do work on our house Inshallah, if we do so, hopefully, we will have a more peaceful harmonious atmosphere at home and generally within the society and with this today Inshallah, as you know, my discourses are from Monday to Thursday so now I will see you on Monday 645 Inshallah, to sokola for listening Hola. Hola. There was talk for Allah, wa sallahu wa salam ala Sayidina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa
Sallim wa Salam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh