Introduction – Social And Family Conflicts

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Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari

Channel: Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari

Episode Notes

Much emphasis has been laid in the Qur’an and Sunnah on maintaining family ties and having good relations with others, whilst severing ties and conflict are very high on the list of enormities.

Islam came to set all our relationships right. This includes our relationship with God as well as with other human beings. Despite this, unfortunately, today we see these teachings being violated by Muslims. At every level of society, within the family and outside of it, disunity, hostility, bickering, backbiting, cheating, jealousy, selfishness and other similar evils are ever present, creating chaos and anarchy and destroying harmony and security.

In this series of lectures, delivered over the course of Ramadhan, the speaker – Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam Al Kawthari identifies ten major causes of social and family conflicts, and ways to resolve them. The content of the discourses, given in light of the Qur’an and Sunnah, are both absorbing and pertinent, and a must for all those seeking a harmonious relationship with others.

Episode Transcript

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This means you're, you're walking the

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walk rahmatullah wa barakato

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smilla rahmanir rahim

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Alhamdulillah una star you know in a star fiddle and yesterday when I wrote the letter I mean Sheree and fusina woman say at our Marina Maria de la for them we'll learn enough when we go Lulu for the hodja Why should one either Ilaha hula Sharif or shadow Anissa? You don't know Habib no sweat on our eternal Mohammedan pseudo Allahumma salli wa sallim wa barik ala Sayyidina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa salim

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Allahu Malema and found out when find out in Argentina was in arguments of Chanukah, la una de la Molina Illa Allah, Allah Hakeem for that.

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I welcome all of you dear beloved brothers and sisters, to this fmradio Ramadan, daily work Monday to Thursday session and discussion on family issues.

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inshallah, I will hopefully be with you, starting from today,

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every week throughout the month of Ramadan from Monday to Thursday, so that's four months, four days a week, around 6:45pm I will start You shall love between 645 to 7pm all the way until if thought and I will give a talk in Sharla and a discourse based on

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family issues.

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For those of you who have been regularly listening to and have been regularly listening to radio Ramadan. If you remember last year, I

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discussed with you and we went through a text a book titled min edible Islam from the manners of Islam, which was authored by a great recent scholar of the Muslim world. Chef Abdel Fattah Rahim Allah, we read through the book, we translated it, we discussed it, we understood it and handed in over the course of 30 days of the month of Ramadan. Last year, we completed the book min edible Islam, which was again, I used to come just before if die this year.

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I was thinking for the past couple of weeks as to which book to read, and which book to cover.

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Because I remember the year before last year, I went through a book called path to perfection.

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So again this year when the brothers in charge at the FMO regional Melbourne

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contacted me and said okay, can you let us know of a topic or a book that you will be covering in your daily radio sessions.

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I actually thought about quite a few different types of books that I would cover.

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But recently, I've really thought the importance of talking about a particular topic, and I could not find a particular book. I could not find a particular book that discussed this issue that I'm going to inshallah discuss with you in the way that I wanted, in a systematic way where a book talks about the importance of maintaining family ties, the importance of Islam, the importance and the significance of maintaining family relationships, for him the importance of maintaining family ties and the importance of keeping the kinship and the grave sin of cutting off ties. So basically, Sen Rahim which is maintaining ties, the importance of it from the Quran and from the Hadith, and then

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literally numerous lessons of the Quran and numerous Hadith of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa alayhi wa sallam that talk about maintaining kinship, maintaining family ties, not cutting off family relationships, and not just family. But I want to look at this in a more general sense, dear listeners, not just family I mean, I know the title. If you look at the website,

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the FMO radio Ramadan website, there's a whole schedule of of different programs that are going to be aide who show up over the course of the coming month. If you see the title, my title family conflicts, the title is family control.

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Flex

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causes and solutions, family conflicts or family disputes, family problems,

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causes and solutions.

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And as I was saying to that, the reason why I could not select and pinpoint a book that I wanted to cover and teach from was because I could not find a book, the way I wanted. Reason being is that this particular issue this topic, family conflicts, family disputes, family problems, is seriously one of the major issues of the current times. As you know, Islam is a comprehensive religion, we have different programs, looking at Islam and giving out teachings of Islam from different aspects from different perspectives, from different angles that are political issues that are global issues, the personal issues,

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issues to do with Iboga, worshipping Allah, but there are social issues. And when we say social issues, we say social conflicts, we don't only mean which is also important a topic which is like issues such as drug abuse, and alcohol abuse, and all of that. But

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I personally feel that we live in a time where

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the family is greatly in danger. The family system is not just in dangerous, probably, you know, many, many parts of the Muslim world on many Muslim families have actually been broken. And there are many major family issues, major family conflicts, disputes, problems, you speak to anyone to have a family problem. There are problems between spouses that are problems between husband and wife, problems between parents and children. There are problems between siblings that are problems between uncles and aunts and nephews and nieces. With with the first cousins there are problems with the

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relatives and relations. And as I said, I do not want to just specifically and exclusively talk about family conflicts but generally within the Muslim home, we are in a time where there's mayhem. Seriously, I would not be exaggerating. If I was to say there are serious issues to the point that there's chaos and anarchy within the Muslim society, social conflicts, disunity, major disunity, major problems, fights coral corals argumentation, not one human being is willing to live in peace and in harmony with another human being. And then we want peace and tranquility all over the world. If we cannot, if a person cannot live with his fellow Muslim brother, let's no Muslim brother, his

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blood brother. If he cannot live at home, with his brother in peace and in harmony, and with tranquility, then how is he going to sort out the problems of the world? How can you bring about peace and tranquility globally all around the world. If you cannot live at home

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with your own blood, brother, and then you talk about the whole Muslim world that your brother's charity begins at home brother, seriously, it brings up it begins at home. So we live in a time where there's chaos within the feminist system and not just within the family system, but social socially. Muslims are disunited. And I'm not saying it's everywhere like that. Yes, there are places where people that are people have handed in love from Alhamdulillah, who are very good in their interaction, they are extremely well mannered in the interaction in the association in their relationship with others, and they are very careful of fulfilling the rights of others. Remember, we

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have rights and responsibilities, rights of the husband rights of the wife rights of the parents rights of the children, rights of brothers, rights of sisters, rights of your relatives, rights of teachers, rights of students rights of the employer, the rights of the employee, that are these are all relationships. And this is the main one of the main areas of Islamic teachings more Arusha, more Ashura means social issues, social rights, and we have been greatly commanded in Islam to fulfill the rights, social rights of others, we have we have been commanded. So going back to what I was saying that

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when I was thinking about which book to cover,

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I could not come across a book

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that was that discussed

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the issue at hand in a manner that I would have liked. So therefore I thought, rather than concentrate and cover a particular concentrate upon uncover a particular book and read through a text, I'll just

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discuss this issue, family conflicts, social conflicts, family disputes, causes and solutions. So what I'm going to do basically short a lot in the next month or so, and basically it's when we say month it's like 16 days, because I have four days a month, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Monday to Thursday. So that's four 812 16 days, basically, in the next 16 days.

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I want to first in sha Allah. In the first couple of days, maybe today, tomorrow, maybe two, three days.

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Talk about the the significance, the importance, and the great emphasis laid within the teachings of Islam, on maintaining family ties, and in making sure that our relationship with others are in harmony with the teachings of Islam. And they show a lot what I have to do is

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mention causes and solutions. So I have a list of causes reasons why we have problems, why we have conflicts, why we have disputes, why we have disunity.

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Right? I mean, there are many reasons. I mean, the basic reason is that we don't have the fear of Allah subhanaw taala that's it full full stop. And one of the reasons that that is the basic reason and one of the objectives of fasting, Ramadan is looking at balicasag kamakoti Allah, Allah Kotaku, once we have the fear of Allah subhanho wa Taala in our lives, when you know we have a life, we live a life that is in accordance with the teachings of Islam. Nevertheless, there are certain specific causes and reasons of family disputes and family and not just families, social disputes, I like to change the term family to social because I'm gonna look at it from a social perspective, not just

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family conflicts, not just problems at home, but just socially generally within Muslims.

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There are certain reasons or certain causes

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which I want to talk about, I have a list of seven eight different reasons like for example, you know, I made a few notes of these

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causes, such as maybe

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ostentation area and not having sincerity and and not having the correct intention when we maintain when when we maintain ties, and one of the causes is a lot of anger. And I'm going to look at that in detail what one of one of the causes is many issues you know, many mutual problems I want to talk about that cause and each cause each reason each cause a family disputes, I'm going to look at it in quite considerable depth in detail. And we'll see we'll look at a larger we'll look at a solution. So we so the title and the theme of our inshallah discussion over the next month or so, just before I start Monday through Thursday is family and social disputes, social conflicts and

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the causes and the solutions and the causes and what are the solutions? What are the measures that we can take, what are the steps that we can take to avoid disputes and problems at home and within Muslims generally what are those steps that we keep we can take inshallah.

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Now,

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as I said,

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I want to start off with talking about the importance of this issue.

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When we look at the teachings of Islam into your listeners,

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brothers and sisters, when you look at the Quran and Sunnah

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we find that

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there is great emphasis laid in the Quran and the Sunnah of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

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on maintaining family ties,

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great emphasis late on preservation of the family.

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On many occasions in the Quran and Sunnah we have been ordered we have been commanded to keep the good times. We have been ordered by Allah subhana wa tada and his beloved messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam to fulfill the rights of kinship

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and not break ties.

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Numerous texts from the Quran and Sunnah

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when it comes to a Baghdad worshiping Allah Subhana Allah the Quran is quite limited. Allah subhanaw taala does not go into detail when explaining the rules of Salah.

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Pick up the Quran and read you will not find any verse in the Quran that tells you and informs you and describes to you

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the method of offering pleasure Salah

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Seriously, you will not find any lesson Napoleon that actually tells you that there are two rakaat or attain of pleasures Allah. No way.

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Imagine the most basic obligation of a Muslim. Yes.

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The details are found in the Hadith of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in the Sahil Bukhari Sahih Muslim and elsewhere.

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So, the Orion is quite limited when it comes to many issues and specifically when it comes to a by that worshiping Allah, the basics of fasting, the basics of salah and prayer.

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The Quran is quite limited but when it comes to social issues when it comes to Asha, when it comes to living with others when it comes to fulfilling the rights of other people when it comes to not harming and hurting other people, when it comes to ensuring that we don't have disputes and argumentations and conflicts and problems and and

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disputes. The Quran goes into quite detail.

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Allah subhanaw taala goes into quite detail explain the rules of interaction

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and Allah orders in your own to maintain good ties with other people.

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In the first few pages of the Quran if you started reciting your Koran, brothers and sisters,

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which you should do, definitely in the month of Ramadan, you know the month of Ramadan, this is a side point.

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The month of Ramadan is shadow Quran, Shadow Ramadan and Lady Gaga v hill or an orderliness ego by jannetty Mel Huda will farrakhan Allah says shadow Ramadan, it's a month of Ramadan and levy Zilla fee hill or an IT IS that month in which the Quran was revealed in zelner, who feel a little

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Malaya to other

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it's a month of Quran. So as a side point, dear brothers and sisters seriously make a habit of reciting the Quran as much as possible. And you have to

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take time out for the recitation of the Quran this month is specifically it's the month of Quran more than any other form of worship.

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recitation of the Quran is greatly encouraged in this particular month, take time out, set aside some portion of the day and the night wherein you recite the book of Allah subhanho wa Taala. You recite the words of our Lord and our Creator, a loss of Hannah to Allah. And not just recitation, fast, hasty recitation, brother, sister, know, with a bit of the dub bird

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with a bit of difficulty with some kind of reflection, meditation, concentration, if you know the words Arabic, reflect on them, it's maybe good and worthwhile keeping a translation and just trying to understand the basic message not going to the details, of course, because that is not for a layperson to do just the basic message and think and reflect and recite the Quran slowly. It's not about seriously, it's not about quantity, it's about the college. Sometimes we think we want to do 10 items of the Quran. And we read so fast that we don't even know what we're reading, whether it's Arabic or Chinese. We don't even know what we're reading. Now. Nobody knows nobody has a clue. So

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it's not about

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quantity, it's about quality.

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It's about quality with the bar with reflection, read recite the book of Allah take time out. You must take time out brother sister, I know we have a lot of things to do. Number one, you have to go work we have to go to college, you have to go University, we have to study we have to do this. And we're listening to radio number one as well. But there's a time and space for everything. That's why I look at nighttime radio Ramadan is off, there's recitation of the Quran is being put on because you listen to the Quran and you read the Quran. So don't spend your whole time in doing not a bother worshipping online. I know you know, I'll be frank and saying this that no one person listening to

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the radio Ramadan, holy long, that's not what it is. Therefore, it's catering for people for different times. You have to as a as a, you know,

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responsible person. Divide your own personal time. You have your own time. You have your time between you and your family. You have your time between you and your Lord. You have your time between you and your Koran. You have your time for your recitation of the book of Allah for the recitation of some other burps for sending blessings on messenger sallallahu alayhi wa alayhi wa sallam and you have your time allocated to reading some books and then time allocated

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cater to tuning in and listening to radio on the line to wherever shows that you feel that are more beneficial to you, while in massive human reaction when other people have their own favorite, you know, things to listen to. So as a responsible person, you need to do that. So anyway, that was a sight point and I don't wanna go into the details but remember, just make sure that you recite the book of Allah subhanaw taala. So when we look at the book of Allah,

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the Quran is quite limited in in issues of salah and Zachary comes to social issues into extreme detail. So as I was saying, the first few pages of the Quran if you started making a cotterman recitation of the work of Allah, Allah subhanaw taala describes the first one. He says the first half moon the sinners and novena young Luna

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manifests the first moon and first subpoena Ludhiana una de la him in bed in ether, where

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Mr. Allahu

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Akbar describes the wretched the sinners the evil people, and he says the evil people are those

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Yes,

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Mr. Allahu be a useful they break that which Allah has commanded they break the ties, they they break the ties, the the connection, the ties that which Allah has ordered and commanded them to join and maintain yakata una Amara La Jolla, Nissan and what do they do? Also, you say Do they cause destruction in the earth? They cause destruction in the earth. And there are many verses. There's another another verse in the Quran where Allah Subhana Allah says, Well,

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this is actually one of the verses recited at the time of Mecca. You know, Anika has been performed in the masjid. When the Imam recites the hotel bar. The hotel bar the sermon recites three versus three verses of taqwa

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one of the verses Yeah, your nurse chakra Bakula? Holla

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Holla Caminha, Xhosa. humare, Jaden kathira Vanessa, taco la la de de ser una or hum in La La, la Kumara peba this, this is one of the three verses that are recited at the time of the nega hotma What does Allah say? Yo yo necesito Cora bakuman levy Holla

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Holla amin has

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a lot talks about he says oh people feel your mood, your your

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fear your Lord Allah the Harper community wide who created you from one soul? Who was our forefather Adam peace be upon him.

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And he created his, his spouse from him. So many marriages from kathira spread from the two from Adam and Hauer Allah Hema salatu salam, peace be upon both of them. Allah spent loads of people, mankind, men and women spread them into the earth, or with them in Malaysia and cathedra minister and then Allah says, and this part of the verse, what taught me law, her lady de Luna be he will or harm and fear a law

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and let it be fear a law through whom you ask for your mutual rights field, a law through whom you demand your mutual rights, you know what that means? And you know, when we ask one another, our rights we say biochimie my right by Allah by a law for the sake of Allah give me give me this for the sake of philosophy for the sake of Allah. You know, don't don't don't do this to me and for the sake of law, please, you know, give it back to me.

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So Allah says, What duck will law and levitas aluna be he fear Allah through him? Through sake, and through whom you ask and demand your mutual rights for him when our harm or harm is connected to what doesn't? And fear or harm, Allah uses the term What are harming the person? And you know what?

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Sorry. What does it mean? It's pure of Russian. Remember this word in Arabic. So unique word Russian.

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In these three letters are Ah ha, and me. In the Arabic language, unique, the combination of these three letters is extremely unique or raw. Hear me.

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Man has raha me or Rahim Mattoon.

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urashima Rahim or ham. All these words they are interrelated. They're all interrelated, or losses. feel fear, or harm or higher is a plural of writing which means fear, kinship, fear

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kinship means you don't feel that there's not gonna beat you up this kinship but fear violating kinship, kinship or high means family ties. Fear

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Allah from breaking and violating family relationships, fear of love from cutting off your relationship with your relatives. Fear Allah from neglecting your rights and your duties towards your relatives and your family members and your cousins. Fear Allah from having disputes and conflicts with your fellow Muslim brothers and sisters. silica

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Taku in the Lucha Kenya alikum Rocky Balboa is watching over you.

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And there are many verses there's a hadith

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which is recorded in the Sahara from a Muslim

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from the companion so you don't have to do that and who who says that the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam once he said he said in Allah tala holla

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verily This is this hadith recorded by Mr. Muslim in his in a lotta Allah holla Verily, Allah subhanho wa Taala created his creation.

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Hector is a photo of amin who

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when he competed crazy in his creation,

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on the terrain,

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kinship stood up.

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Allah Subhana Allah created this creation This was in pre pre existence, right This was in pre existence, Allah Subhana Allah created this Christian created everything. Allah created everything in existence.

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When he created everything armature right, this habit is rigorously authenticated. It's a

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authenticated Hadith recorded by Muslim in his size so there's no doubt our

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kinship regime see the word again Ryan stood up

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and spoke to Allah.

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Now you might say how can Ryan stand up and speak? Is Rahim a human being? No.

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It's not a human being are humans kinship, relationship,

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kinship and relationship you know, the relationship relationship itself stood up

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for and spoke to a lot. Now how did this happen? Allahu Akbar. Allah knows best. And now it is a lot of things that with three 400 years ago people who would not even have had a clue that they would speak they speak

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now imagine good seven 800 years ago

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if somebody saw a mobile phone right

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and and you know, someone had some sound coming out from it, they'll probably have a shock of their life. There were six 700 years ago don't have a shotgun that's what's happening here. It's like like a human being talking. How can a small object which is just one example mobile phone now we have iPhones and we have iPhones and we have this positive net present and what we have so many different things but anyway,

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so exactly I cannot understand right now.

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I love it immediately to speak. how Allah knows best alaric enable it to speak but how alone is best we leave it to Allah Subhana Allah we don't know Amato's best our our knowledge is limited. So kinship relationships, stood up and spoke to a lot and said to a lot

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of them are easy because Katia

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spoke to a lot and said to a lot Oh law at this point, after you've created me, know your what, you've critically I am seeking your protection and your refuge from being violated from being cut off from people neglecting me. The relationship spoke to a law and said, Oh Allah, I seek your refuge. I don't want to be neglected. I don't want to be cut off. I want to be joined and I want people to give me the right and maintain me.

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Allah subhanaw taala responded and said, yes, no problem. Your wish, guaranteed. And then Allah said, Mr. Tarragona and LCM and masala key aka Mankato, lucky to make you happy. Listen, old kinship or relationship Listen, to make you happy. Allah, Allah to

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assume and wasana key. Whoever maintains you, I will maintain that individual aka Mankato, Rocky and whoever takes you off whoever cuts you off whoever neglects you, I will neglect them. I will cut them off. I will I will break them I will not do whoever neglects you and does not fully maintain you I will not ask

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we neglect that person a lot is saying, and I will not maintain that person or at better. So the kinship said yes indeed unhappy with this. You know, I asked your protection and oh law you gave me this response, but I am happy on a bizarrely Connect. So then Allah responded by saying okay Yo, yo yo no supplication your request is accepted, you will have it. And after that the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam recited a verse that he said.

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He said, recite the verse of the book of Allah if you want for him as a tune in to our Layton and to seduce an RV or hammer con when he can Medina, Houma, la hufa Osama who have sorrow, this is a verse of surah Mohammed, unless you yourself Allahu alayhi wa sallam after mentioning this he recited is a look recite the verse of the book of Allah and then he recited this verse is when Allah says in our late for her last eaten in our lives,

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that you know if you if you turn your backs and you cause destruction in the earth for certain and what we'll do our hammock woman if you break ties

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are handmade con, if you break ties.

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He can live in Atlanta Humala, us all the people whom Allah has cursed. These are the people who Allah has cursed LA to LA Nana you don't learn it means the curse of Allah. The one who is cursed, is removed from the from the mercy of Allah is distant from Divine Mercy.

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Nova save the soul. So the verse says those people who break up ties who don't maintain family relationships. Allah has cursed them for some known he's made them deaf or ama Uppsala home, and he's made the eyesight blind. He's made them deaf and he's made them blind. They're blind in the hearts. Okay, so

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this is a verse of the Hadith of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and a hadith. And we have many, many, you know, Hadith and I'm gonna inshallah look at some more Hadith which I've just, you know, picked up from emammal Bihari Rahim Allah His book.

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But before I do so, there's another hadith

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of an Imam Abu download, Rahim Allah related by the great companion so you don't have a donalda radi Allahu anhu May Allah be pleased with him? Who says that the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Allah.

00:32:43--> 00:32:49

Allah means project is so yummy or solid, it was the hottie or rubella. Call

00:32:50--> 00:33:03

that will be, that will be and Hanukkah messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, our beloved of our beloved messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he was once addressing the companions or their loved one.

00:33:04--> 00:33:08

And he, when he was addressing them, he said to them, he said,

00:33:10--> 00:33:12

shall I not inform you of something, and I

00:33:13--> 00:33:51

shall not inform you of something that is more virtuous than fasting and prayer, and charity. Now, this was a question, messenger sallallahu produsen presented this question to the companions of Muhammad Ali Allahu anhu. He said, should I not inform you? You know, this was a habit of the messenger sallallahu ideacentre. Many a time he will do that he will say, shall I not inform you something? Do you want to know about this? Shall I not tell you about this? should I? Do you know, what the, you know, best form of action is? Or do you know how to get gender and enter paradise? Do you know what is the best method of

00:33:52--> 00:33:54

earning the pleasure of Allah subhanho wa Taala.

00:33:55--> 00:34:03

He would do that. And it's one of the very effective ways and means of catching the attention of your listeners.

00:34:04--> 00:34:29

Therefore, you know, if you're addressing a group of people, and if there are students listening in, they're doing towards, you know, to catch their imagination and the attention, you could say, Okay, listen, everybody, I'll tell you something, you know, what, the next thing you know, it gets the attention of people and this is sort of the messenger sallallahu wasallam. There are different ways of teaching and preaching and ways of

00:34:30--> 00:34:51

passing on your message is a very good book, Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, in which the author has actually mentioned the ways in which the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam taught so beautiful, Mashallah. So he would do that on numerous occasions, should I not inform you of something in order to in order to

00:34:52--> 00:34:56

get the attention of the Sahaba of the Allahu anhu he said,

00:34:58--> 00:34:59

shall I not tell you shall I

00:35:00--> 00:35:49

not inform you of an act, which is more virtuous, which has more rewards. SubhanAllah listen to this hadith brothers and sisters shall not tell you you have something that has more rewards you earn more rewards than even fasting prayer and charity. The Sahaba the Allahu anhu, the companions of the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, like us knew, knew, and were aware of the importance of fasting. They knew the importance of Salah prayer, they knew that the most important form of action for a believer for a Muslim is what is his Salah, and they knew about fasting, numerous rewards, and they knew the rewards of charity. We've been listening about charity or and fasting

00:35:49--> 00:35:55

onsala on regional nobody they knew and we know them as well. So in order to get the attention, he said

00:35:56--> 00:36:30

Jomo, which is even better and more virtuous and moonwalking, the companion said, wait two minutes. Don't be more virtuous than Salah prayer, and fasting and charity. This must be something really major. But remember, when when this heavy section referring to voluntary Salah, fasting and voluntary prayer and voluntary charity, it doesn't. It's not relating to thought of an obligatory prayers. Okay. So, the Sahaba the woman who entreat and then the messenger, they said, Yes, Bella,

00:36:31--> 00:36:46

please do go ahead and tennis, because we want to know and we want to act upon it. So the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said is sallahu yveltal Bane, that form of action, which is more virtuous than solid and prayer does that then then charity?

00:36:47--> 00:36:53

Is that in vain? You know, that is, you know, what, everybody ready to listen

00:36:55--> 00:37:25

is that you've been making peace between people who are at war, making peace between people who have a conflict, who have a dispute, you have a problem within your family or within your social circles. And then the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, well, first said that the bait and hanifa and to cause conflict and to do the opposite, to cause disunity is actually something that hardly it destroys you. It destroys you.

00:37:26--> 00:37:43

So just just look at this Hadeeth numbers and use all along it was Selim said that making peace between people is even more virtuous than fasting luminesce. So like, for example, you lose one individual, and I'm going to inshallah, go to the break after just completing this hadith.

00:37:44--> 00:38:06

There's one individual who offers all lifelong knuffel, Salah tahajjud knuffel, to record for six 810 12 you should do that doesn't mean you shouldn't do that as well. There's another individual all year long, he just keeps in fasting, observing fast. Mondays, his first Thursday, he fasts, he keeps investing nothing, remember, not reliable and fast, and not five times.

00:38:08--> 00:38:23

Those are, those are very important, but nothing. And there's another person who's giving charity donation after donation is giving him pledges here and there, and he's always giving money. You know, we have to do that as well. So time and place for everything. But he's happy to say

00:38:24--> 00:39:12

that, just despite doing all these little prayers, there's another person who actually found that there were two people, two Muslims, two Muslim brothers, who are not talking to one another, they have deserted one another. They hate one another. They have not spoken to one another for over a year. And you go to them and you sort out the problems and you create peace and you make them friends again. Subhan Allah this Hadith of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is not claiming the Hadith is saying to you by making peace amongst those two people who are at odds with one another, who was such that when their paths met, they turned away that would not even say Salaam to

00:39:12--> 00:39:50

one another. You have earned more reward than that person who stayed awake all night offering method prayer, you gained more reward and more than that person who offered who kept on fasting nephele throughout the year, and you get more reward according to the Hadith of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, then that individual who actually kept on giving feasability law donations and charity so hon Allah so this is another Hadith is very short, but we're gonna take a break now inshallah and after the break and continue with our discussion on this topic in sha Allah

00:39:55--> 00:39:59

salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. Welcome back in sha Allah carrying on with our discussion

00:40:01--> 00:40:11

The topic of social and family conflicts, causes and solutions. Before the break, we were looking at a Hadeeth

00:40:12--> 00:40:17

recorded in the sunan of an Imam, the Buddha would have the Allahu anhu.

00:40:18--> 00:40:58

related by the companion aborted, or the loader and who were the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he said to the companions shall not tell you of something that is more virtuous, more rewarding, gains, you know, pleasure of a law than nothing voluntary fasting prayer and charity. And when the companion said, Yes, so messenger of Allah, he said, his Salah, who that will be making peace between people. So how long was such a great act of reward, such a great attribute and therefore balances, if you know, within your family, or even within your relatives, or even within Muslims in general, if you know people, that there's a conflict between them, there are two people

00:40:58--> 00:41:30

that are two sisters, that that have not spoken to one another. For like, Allah knows how many years 10 years, five years, four years, three years, two years? If you know, for example, this is this two cousins? No, they don't speak to one another, you know, the, you know, two people, business partners, they were doing business, and something went wrong. Remember many, many beautiful problems. And when we, when I'm going to inshallah go through the causes and solutions, I'm going to talk about many issues as well, one of the causes of our conflicts.

00:41:32--> 00:41:54

Because, as I said, in the first two, three days, it's just introduction, and then I'll go into the causes. That's why the title is family social conflicts, causes and solutions, each one by one each cause that I will discuss. So if you know, people, if you know, in the interviews that are problems, if you know, there's a problem between your duty in you and a mother in law, if we know there's a problem between one sister in law and the other sister in law,

00:41:55--> 00:42:34

and some families, it's just like, every day, it's a soap opera, seriously, soap opera, I'm telling you to experience because I speak to a lot of people, brother and sisters. Rarely does a day pass by that I don't have someone contacting me via phone or via email, that there is a problem social problem at all. Whether it has been is calling me contacting me talking about the problems about him his marriage and his wife, that the most evil person in his in this world is his wife. There's nothing wrong with him, you know, because he's speaking so there's nothing wrong with him. Every problem has to do with his wife, or the wife talking and saying that her husband is the most evil

00:42:34--> 00:43:09

person in the world. There's nothing wrong with it. She's perfectly fine because you know what she's talking right. So that's what the wife will do. parents about the children, children about the parents, children saying our parents are being to listen to that and to nasty, too oppressive and too aggressive and they don't want less give us the freedom and there aren't as many who want. Parents are saying children that they disobey us. They don't respect us. They've deviated they've left, you know, the new generation and allow the internet to generation look at them what they're doing, in those mothering look, you know, contacting and talking about the daughter in law.

00:43:10--> 00:43:23

She's not doing this she's not doing that. doting was talking about the mother in law complaining about the problems of husband and the mother in law and the family and interviews. The interviews are theirs and they are oppressive and they like this and they're like that.

00:43:25--> 00:43:37

Everywhere you look, I would not be exaggerating. As I said, despite we seen Islam places a lot of importance on on peace in having peace and tranquility within our social circles.

00:43:38--> 00:44:05

We have major problems within the family within our social circles, major themes that are major conflicts, frictions, disputes, disunity, and I will would not be exaggerating brothers and sisters if I was if I was to say there is chaos and anarchy. Within our social circles, there is chaos and anarchy. We've reached that level.

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There is absolute chaos and anarchy. No one person is willing to live in peace and harmony with another individual. You look at every level. at every level, there are conflicts.

00:44:20--> 00:44:36

There are conflicts, every level in the workplace. Even a Muslim business, employer employee workmates, problems, human beings, they start living with one another. That's it. Today's does not pass conflicts.

00:44:38--> 00:44:59

Every level everywhere we look it's so sad seriously when I speak about this every so sad. It's so unfortunate. Wherever we look, any organization, any group, whether it's the family, whether it's Islamic organization, whatever organization, whether it's on the workplace, whether it's in business, well, wherever it is, we just cannot leave

00:45:00--> 00:45:01

with other people

00:45:03--> 00:45:09

it's just so it's so saddening, and we just cannot we just cannot live with other people.

00:45:10--> 00:45:17

It's like, we've become worse than everyone else. A normal of azalia Rahim Allah the Great rejected Islam of Mohammed Allah was early.

00:45:19--> 00:45:53

When he was explaining to us the Hadith of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he says a Muslim men Solomon Muslim, una milissa Neha de the true believers, the one for whose hands and whose mouth, other believers are safe. They are not hurt. Islam teaches us that we should not say anything or do anything. Our actions and our verbal statements should not contribute to harming anyone in any way, shape, or form. We are not supposed to harm anyone in the military

00:45:54--> 00:45:56

in his great masterpieces work here.

00:45:58--> 00:46:00

And if you haven't read that book, seriously read it.

00:46:02--> 00:46:15

reviving of Islamic sciences of Mohammed which Islam the proof of Islam, he was given the title Eman of Hamid al ghazali Rahim Allah the man who may not be pleased with him in his area.

00:46:16--> 00:46:24

You know, he says that there are actually he says the precepts of animals, some animals are such that they more or less just

00:46:25--> 00:46:38

harm you. There's no real benefit in them. Rather, there is of course, benefit in everything, there is some benefit in everything. But generally, there are the first category of animals are those that generally harm you, they just harm you.

00:46:39--> 00:46:44

They bite you, they sting you, they poisonous snakes, scorpions,

00:46:45--> 00:46:46

etc, etc.

00:46:47--> 00:47:00

He says another group of animals second category of animals are those that they just give benefits, no harm whatsoever. The first one just harm, harm, harm, more or less no benefit. The second category, they just benefit you.

00:47:01--> 00:47:26

Like cows, goats, sheep, we benefit from the milk. And if we don't benefit from the milk, then we you know, they give their lives for us. We can slaughter them, if you're a meat eater if you're a vegetarian and just benefit from the milk. But we benefit from them, we eat them. And they don't generally harm there's no harm, it's just benefit. And there's another category in the middle of animals

00:47:28--> 00:47:52

that do not home and neither benefits. The first category of animals are the ones that home only home. The other category of animals are the ones that only benefit and the middle category of many animals that live in the wild, that there's no harm, they don't harm you. They don't benefit you. They don't benefit us. They don't harm us. They just just that's it. They don't do anything. Remember Harare

00:47:53--> 00:47:58

and who he says after describing these three categories, categories of animals, he says,

00:47:59--> 00:48:01

Oh Muslim, you're a human being.

00:48:03--> 00:48:33

Right? He says you're a human being Oh insane. You're a human being. You are a shadow mahalo. Allah has made you the most noble of his creatures created you as the most noble assura. A Sheriff means the most noble, you are more mobile than animals, your level and your rank and your position and your status and your arm is higher than animal, you should benefit in people if you don't want to. Okay, if you want to be like the animals, fine, no problem, you can be a human.

00:48:34--> 00:48:45

Try to be like the first category of animals in 30 states be like the animals who give benefit like the cows and the sheep and the goats from whom you benefit.

00:48:46--> 00:48:59

milk and meat, be like them. And he says that all human out inside if you do not want to be on the top level of animals that actually be the middle.

00:49:00--> 00:49:01

In the second level, be

00:49:02--> 00:49:15

like the animal that does not harm and neither gives benefit if you don't want to give benefit to anyone. No problem. Don't do anything for anyone, but at least do not harm anyone, at least do not harm anyone.

00:49:16--> 00:49:32

And don't become so low that you become like the animals from the third category that do not benefit rather than just harm. In the Allahu anhu statement in his book, he only did so brothers and sisters. Islam is based on non harming other people.

00:49:33--> 00:49:37

A Muslim woman Solomon Muslim in in English and he

00:49:39--> 00:49:54

and as I said, I would not be exaggerating. If I said there's major chaos and anarchy and mayhem within our social circles in terms of conflicts, problems, disputes,

00:49:56--> 00:49:58

friction disunity

00:49:59--> 00:49:59

and

00:50:00--> 00:50:11

Everywhere you look, disunity, problems, fights, calls argumentation disputes friction everywhere. In lurman, Rocky murghab book elona, sha Allah with the exception of a few here and there.

00:50:13--> 00:50:27

And that's the reason why I really want to talk about this topic. Because through my experiences like everyone who talks to me, they've got no problem at all. Nobody just gets on with anyone else. Have you seen the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he shows explaining.

00:50:29--> 00:50:42

He said, making peace between two people is more rewarding than voluntary fasting, voluntary prayer and voluntary charity. And then what did you say after that?

00:50:43--> 00:50:45

Well, facade yveltal been unhealthy

00:50:46--> 00:50:48

and causing disunity

00:50:49--> 00:50:55

causing disease. The messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was in the Hadith, the first part where he said

00:50:56--> 00:50:59

that making peace amongst people is

00:51:01--> 00:51:04

more rewarding than fasting and more rewarding than

00:51:06--> 00:51:10

prayer and more rewarding than optional, nothing to charity.

00:51:14--> 00:51:14

But

00:51:16--> 00:51:36

let alone when you go and make peace between people, let alone that you find two people who are enemies of one another and you make and create peace between them. Some people panela I mean, how low can you get some people have nothing else to do in this life, except cause problems.

00:51:37--> 00:51:41

At least if you can't be of those who go and find people who are

00:51:42--> 00:51:59

at war with one another and you create peace and make people friends again, if you can't do that, then at least don't be from those who cause problems and fights. And some people they just they always just have, you know, matchbox in their pockets, not literally speaking.

00:52:01--> 00:52:05

And they just they're ready to like the match anywhere they smell,

00:52:06--> 00:52:25

where you can, this is the work of shall find antibodies to cause friction between people. They actually some people you know, they get fascinated by by controversies. They like, you know, problems they like, you know, they I should start off they start off the fight and then they run away like a mouse and then they watch from the side.

00:52:28--> 00:52:29

human being cannot do that.

00:52:30--> 00:52:40

Some people actually thrive on conflict actually like the like controversies and the like conflicts and the like problems and they're like, you know, people arguing and debating.

00:52:41--> 00:52:54

This is not the sign of a person who has a sound heart is not a sign of a true complete believer. The messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in the Hadith is a facade with virtually Bane and Hannukah.

00:52:56--> 00:52:58

Cozy disunity causing problems

00:52:59--> 00:53:00

is

00:53:01--> 00:53:02

the word in Arabic

00:53:03--> 00:53:19

is from the word HELOC. If you've been for hedger omura, you must have heard of the word HELOC. HELOC means to shave Harlequin means shaver, it shaves off mainly meaning it takes you the messengers of Aloha and instead of in another Hadid explaining this he said

00:53:21--> 00:53:21

well,

00:53:22--> 00:54:04

I don't mean that it shaves off your hair from your head. A preach your hair from your head, rather disunity and causing friction between people and juggler and problems and friction and fighting and quarreling and disputes. That would be Dean it shaves off your religion. It removes your religion from its roots. It takes away your Islam. Your prayer, your fasting user guide you hide your onra the Quran recitation is of no benefit. Because it's been uprooted. It's been taken out from its root and been thrown away. This is the meaning of the Hadith of the messenger salallahu alayhi wasallam. And there are numerous Hadith brothers and sisters.

00:54:05--> 00:54:54

great emphasis laid in the Quran and Sunnah about maintaining ties about having love and peace amongst ourselves. And you know why, why there's so much emphasis because you know, if family ties are maintained, family relationships are maintained, then we will live a peaceful life, we will live a life of peace of tranquility of harmony. And, you know, we'll have safety and security and peace in our lives. And the family is the basis of a sound society. If we have good family, you know, we have peace and tranquility at home mothers sisters, then that will contribute to our society became as a whole. Our society as a whole being tranquil and peaceful. And if our societies are peaceful,

00:54:55--> 00:54:59

when we have the energy to go and work for the sake of Allah Subhana

00:55:00--> 00:55:23

With donalda, you will able you will be able to do good for humanity. But if there's no peace at home, if there's no tranquility at home, if there are problems every day your energy has been wasted in fighting and arguing and getting your point across and outside the houses well, then there's no energy left in the works for being in helping humanity.

00:55:24--> 00:55:39

If the family is stable, the whole society becomes stable. If there's friction corruption in the family, then the whole society is at war, the society at large finds itself in frictions and problems.

00:55:42--> 00:55:53

So, we find that the Quran and Hadith extremely in the details and as much as I said that inshallah, I'm going to look at some headings before we actually go into the causes one by one

00:55:54--> 00:56:02

and look at the solutions, look at the root causes, causes of friction, family friction and family disputes and problems.

00:56:04--> 00:56:22

Before I do that, inshallah tomorrow as well, I'm going to inshallah, carry on with this theme of talking about the importance of maintaining family ties, keeping good family relationships, and the the dislikes and the testability of breaking family ties.

00:56:23--> 00:56:27

But to conclude today, in the next five, seven minutes that we have in front of us,

00:56:29--> 00:56:36

there are many other Heidi's are the messenger sallallahu alayhi, wasallam, as well that talk about and many verses as well. Talk about

00:56:37--> 00:56:39

creating peace and tranquility.

00:56:41--> 00:56:43

Allah Subhana Allah in the Quran says, Well, let me

00:56:44--> 00:56:45

show you what

00:56:46--> 00:56:48

was new in Allahu Akbar savarin.

00:56:50--> 00:57:27

Well, turns out that actually matters heavily who can do what dispute what attorneys do not fight do not call is what I just mentioned. And you know, what if we spend all our energy in fighting and arguing and disputing in friction, and what happens we lose we lose all our energy for good this is what I sing in this verse of the court and what happened is though, do not fight when a tenant says do not dispute an argument do not have close but I've shown you you know why because what I've showed you if you fight and argue that have [???]ty you will become weak, you will become a coward callousness will set in you

00:57:29--> 00:57:32

know, your energy will go away. Are you unable to do any good?

00:57:34--> 00:58:12

And another vessel losses in the livina Farah Medina who can who are less than me who fish a Allah is addressing the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he says in the Medina for very those Muslims, those people who've just United for budino disunited, they are always fighting with one another. What can you share that become groups and sex and different groups? Allah says to the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is addressing them and is telling him he said, O Messenger, less than one fishy in you have nothing whatsoever to do with them. You have to you have been associated with them, no connection.

00:58:13--> 00:58:30

So behind Allah, we say we love the Messenger of Allah, I love the Messenger of Allah you love the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Of course we should be and we should have love. We talk about the Sooners of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam brothers and sisters. And we must have suddenness in our life. But you know what?

00:58:32--> 00:59:10

There's not only one types of Sunnah, the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam his life is assumed for us sinners when you say we have to follow the Sunnah of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wasallam. When we say we have to follow in the ways of the messengers of Allah, Allah Selim, this shouldn't only mean remember, please don't take my words out of context. I really feel this. Don't take it out of context. Listen to it properly, thoroughly. Don't take things out from you know out of context. And don't misunderstand me what I'm saying here. When you say we love the messengers of Allah when he says we have to follow the sooner we have to follow the sooner inshallah we should all

00:59:10--> 00:59:21

try our best to follow the Sunnah. But this should not only mean this following sooner only mean remember the word only? Does it only mean keeping a beard?

00:59:23--> 00:59:36

Is it only mean wearing a hat? Does it only mean wearing the long folk? Does it only mean your external appearance? The sooner only mean wearing the niqab and the sooner only mean

00:59:38--> 00:59:59

eating the foods of the messenger sallallahu anusim liked what is it more much more than that. The sooner is a complete way of life, the way we deal with this probably one of the most important center in our life, our interaction with people. I could look externally like the greatest Muslim on the face of the earth but the way

01:00:00--> 01:00:30

talk with people, the way I interact with people. I cannot even have a smile on my face when I speak to someone is that what's the following so nice. I could dress like a Muslim and have the unknown around my head, the turban the longest beard and have a scarf and everything. And then when someone meets me I can't even make a smile. bring a smile on my face is that sooner? The message is over the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would be the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,

01:00:31--> 01:00:33

Abu Dhabi Allahu anhu.

01:00:34--> 01:00:45

He, his wife says that I used to think my husband. And I used to think my husband was insane because every time he would speak, he would smile. I said to him,

01:00:47--> 01:00:50

you know, why do you keep smiling all the time when you speak? You

01:00:51--> 01:00:53

know, people will think that you're insane.

01:00:55--> 01:01:34

And he said, You know what? I saw my beloved messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Every time he spoke he would smile so I follow in his footsteps. Where people think I'm missing. God bin Abdullah has the great companion. Or the Allahu anhu says Maha Giovanni rasulillah salam sallallahu alayhi wa sallam mineral Islam. wallarah Annie method smrp wedgie. Since I became a Muslim scholar, this is one of my favorite Eddie's amazing mini cutting since he became a Muslim, the messenger sallallahu wasallam never placed a barrier between himself and myself.

01:01:36--> 01:01:46

This is the leader of the Muslims no barrier. There's no there's no restrictions, no barriers. You don't have to go through 500 secretaries. No barrier. Well.

01:01:48--> 01:01:54

If you wish he never did he see me except that he smiled in my face. So Panama just imagine

01:01:55--> 01:02:29

every time he the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam the benefit of Allah Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam when he saw this companion Sahabi God Abdullah and visually he would smile in his face smiling is as soon as brothers just like growing a beard is a very important so not smiling is also a very important so now I actually wanted to do a talk once the title and I've mentioned this on many occasions smiling The Forgotten sooner because we forgotten we don't think that the sooner we know about the beard, you know about some other

01:02:30--> 01:02:38

very important thing that we do know cleaning the mouth steelwork, Nicola to me from the bottom the rub. Do we

01:02:39--> 01:03:02

ever remember we do we know that smiling is also a sign of the messenger sallallahu sallam, he normally Buhari or the Allahu anhu in this book that I have in front of me and Adam will move forward. He's got a chapter bourbon and in disciple alienness in the salt chapter regarding opening up to people not being reserved. It's against the sooner to be reserved

01:03:03--> 01:03:18

to have a reserved personality. People talk to you, you just reserved, you got a stuck up face. That's not what a Muslim does. A Muslim is harsh, harsh, sorry, not harsh hearted, light hearted, warm hearted, and he has this

01:03:19--> 01:03:21

smiley

01:03:22--> 01:03:23

face.

01:03:24--> 01:03:42

Alan disart, and this is what it says in seminary, or roofie. A Huckabee watch him out of righteousness is that you meet your fellow Muslim brother and sister with us with a you know smile and open and pleasant face not being reserved, being pleasant. So anyway,

01:03:44--> 01:03:48

this this was this verse of the Quran that I said that

01:03:50--> 01:04:33

Allah subhanaw taala says in the living of Faruk Medina who can who she is telling me, she says, Oh messenger, those people who who are disunited, who are always fighting, who are always calling and always in friction in problems in disputes in argumentation, who have to have friction in their life, or messenger less than in houfy shake, you have nothing whatsoever to do with them. no connection with the messenger sallallahu is in the middle as he saw. And there are many other verses as well. There is one Hadith which I will end on in terms of the importance of being good at people in in terms of maintaining family relationships, in terms of maintaining social relationships.

01:04:33--> 01:04:40

There's one Hadith and this is again one of my favorite hobbies. And I will end on this hadith because time is fast approaching.

01:04:41--> 01:04:48

There's a hadith in the Muslim Imam Ahmed Rahim Allah one of the great collection of Hadith among his Muslim it

01:04:49--> 01:04:54

relates from the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he says, and minima lefortovo.

01:04:56--> 01:04:59

Allah subhanaw taala is not part of the Hadees by the way

01:05:00--> 01:05:00

I

01:05:01--> 01:05:05

don't wanna hire a female left. What are you?

01:05:06--> 01:05:09

Amazing Heidi, I absolutely love this Heidi.

01:05:11--> 01:05:28

Lafortune the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is describing to us who a believer is jr who are believers. Do you know who I believe is a mean? messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he is describing to us who I believe is

01:05:29--> 01:05:36

God no as well as Miss okay? Great attention. Right? He says, Many Lafortune

01:05:38--> 01:05:44

a moment a believer is a place of love. So Hannah law

01:05:47--> 01:05:50

is not saying in a believer is the one who loves people know

01:05:52--> 01:05:54

the word used, not

01:05:55--> 01:06:07

a believer is a place an abode of love. It's a utensil. It's a utensil, it's a place, it's an abode of love.

01:06:08--> 01:06:13

where love is pulled out when I hire a female

01:06:15--> 01:06:52

and there is no good in the world who does not love others, and others don't love that person. There's much more to say on this Hadith, but you know what, I think I'll stop on this inshallah. So tomorrow I'll carry on from this hadith. Somebody asked which kita was referring to actually, as I said, in the beginning of this talk, when I started the session just after 645 that I'm not specifically teaching from a particular book, I was thinking about covering a text like last year when I taught the book, edible Islam manners of Islam at the same time before I start an hour, but because I could not find a book that I wanted to that I thought was suitable.

01:06:54--> 01:07:18

And just, you know, in light of chronic ayat and Hadith, I'm going to talk about this topic. The title is family conflicts, social conflicts, causes and solutions I've got like eight 910 different causes and solutions that will cover over the course of the next few days and shower everyday around 6:45pm. Till we start. The book that I just briefly mentioned was a book called edible roofrack which is a Hadeeth book written by Emmanuel Buhari and

01:07:20--> 01:07:39

it's a hadith collection and I will quote some Hadith from that book. inshallah. So tomorrow, we'll continue from where we've left inshallah Jazakallah head for listening. Apollo Cody. Hello stuffing, Allahu salam, wa salam ala Sayyidina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa Sallim wa salam o Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatu.

01:07:42--> 01:07:48

Smooth out of Maduro, human hungry neurobiol alameen wa salatu salam ala Sayyidina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa Sallim wa

01:07:52--> 01:07:54

especially brothers welcome back Sharla

01:07:55--> 01:07:58

to our discussion on family conflict issues.

01:07:59--> 01:08:33

The title as you know, family conflicts, social conflicts, causes and solutions. Just before the break, we were talking about the importance of maintaining ties and I was looking at some of the heads of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Even yesterday we discussed many Hadith of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and many verses of the Quran about this topic of maintaining ties and ensuring that we don't break ties and ensuring that we are courteous towards our relatives and family members first and foremost and then generally with a society

01:08:34--> 01:08:50

we're looking at some Hadith CO from Florida phenomena Buhari Rahim Allah on Salat Orion. There's another Hadith here where the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam relates that he has a chapter bable sola Thea Rahimi, does he defend Omar?

01:08:51--> 01:09:00

maintaining ties increases one's age. So hello Ma. And I simply Malik Ravi Allahu anhu says that the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said,

01:09:01--> 01:09:15

when I had been upset Allahu freespee against Allah houfy authority for your Salah rahima the one who wants his risk, his sustenance His provision to increase

01:09:16--> 01:09:16

and

01:09:18--> 01:09:22

have a long life that is other than the moment

01:09:23--> 01:09:27

it's in our heart is Asahi and in my Muslim Sahih and in Abu Dhabi.

01:09:29--> 01:09:34

Whoever wants a new south Allah who furious he was whoever wants to have Baraka and blessings in his risk.

01:09:35--> 01:09:44

Whoever wants the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam remember when the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is saying that it's no doubt no no doubt whatsoever.

01:09:45--> 01:09:51

It's a rigorously authenticated so he had if you want Baraka in your risk in your systems and your profit provision,

01:09:52--> 01:10:00

if you want to beat the credit crunch, by the way, you finding it difficult. What is the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam saying one of the things

01:10:00--> 01:10:03

That you can do not the only thing. But one of the things he says, My

01:10:04--> 01:10:06

mother who is furious,

01:10:07--> 01:10:08

and also a nice

01:10:09--> 01:10:11

to have a long life, that's

01:10:12--> 01:10:30

a different honor for yourself. No, no one who wants Barak and blessings in his wrist in his sustenance. And the one who wants to have a long life and life and Baraka in his age in his life, wants to be healthy, because you have a long life because you're healthy, right? He says for years

01:10:32--> 01:11:10

that he should maintain ties. Men maintain kinship. And Allahu Allah knows best. But I think, you know, this is just a thought that's come to mind. I haven't read this, you know, in a commentary. But you know, you know why this this would happen? Is because the one you see the one who maintain ties, the one who's good and courteous and cordial towards others. The one who avoids fights and calls on argumentation, the human being that's just always smiling. No, it's healthy for you. Ask the medics and the doctors, we have medics listening as well ask them, they'll tell you smiling is healthy for you. Seriously, it's healthy for you.

01:11:11--> 01:11:17

The more you smile, the more healthy you become. The less worry you have, the more healthy you are.

01:11:18--> 01:11:55

The more depression and the more sadness and sorrow you have in your life though, the more time you spend complaining and arguing and fighting. And the more time you're in is thinking about who said what and this he said this and she said that and that soap opera that I was talking about, the more time you spend in that, the more unhealthy you become, and the less your age becomes this connection because if you maintain ties, people will maintain ties with you. If you love others, others will love you. If you are good towards other people, people will go towards you you'll be happy you'll be you'll be jovial and you'll be you'll be pleasant to live with. And if you're a pleasant person,

01:11:55--> 01:12:07

then you'll be healthy, you'll have an impact on your health. And if you're healthy, you'll have a long life and you have Baraka in your in your life in your sustenance in your risk in your provision. And this is the Hadith of the messenger sallallahu

01:12:08--> 01:12:09

alayhi wa sallam.

01:12:10--> 01:12:12

There's another Hadith where the messenger

01:12:14--> 01:12:18

Amaro de la Han who says, the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said,

01:12:20--> 01:12:20

Maybe this is

01:12:22--> 01:12:43

Omar said, money Takara Bahasa Allahu cfhi edgerly he were from Allah who allow, no one who fears his load, maintains ties, again maintains that ties, then his age is prolonged, his knowledge is increased, his wealth is increased, and his family love him.

01:12:44--> 01:13:18

Other people love you. So through benefits in maintaining ties. You see, there's no benefit in arguing getting your point across through fights through calls to argumentation through dispute. If you are good towards other people, people naturally love you. You'll have Baraka in your food and in your provision in your systems and your money in yourself. And you have a healthy long life three benefits. How do you have the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. And there are many other studies of the importance of maintaining ties of the importance of maintaining ties.

01:13:21--> 01:13:26

On the other hand, there's grave sin in in breaking ties.

01:13:28--> 01:13:35

Major sin one of the greatest sins, and this is I want to talk about this topic in the next 15 odd minutes or so that we have before we thought

01:13:37--> 01:13:49

justice just as maintaining ties and search for him and being good to other people is extremely important. Cutting off ties, breaking ties, enmity, hatred, conflict,

01:13:51--> 01:13:55

argumentation, slander, swearing, disputes, disunity

01:13:56--> 01:14:05

is greatly Haram, a grave sin in Islam a major sin. It really brings a person down.

01:14:06--> 01:14:12

There's a hadith in Sahih Bukhari Sahih Muslim Sunni libido and also here in Alabama for the phenomenal Buhari

01:14:14--> 01:14:16

in the Bible is Makati Orion Babu is

01:14:18--> 01:14:25

the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says the companion debatable what the Allahu anhu relates that the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said

01:14:28--> 01:14:29

to Rahim,

01:14:30--> 01:14:31

this is a hadith

01:14:33--> 01:14:37

we put sphere in you know, gender equality or Rahim

01:14:39--> 01:14:43

The one who breaks ties with shall not enter gender paradise.

01:14:44--> 01:14:47

Seriously, those of us who have

01:14:48--> 01:14:59

an enemies and we've broken ties, especially with our family members and relatives, this is the month of Ramadan that we need to month of Ramadan is not just about waking up and if thought

01:15:00--> 01:15:04

Keeping up fast and going to the message for turabian coming back.

01:15:05--> 01:15:21

The month of Ramadan is not only for keeping a first and then opening your fast with a date and having some Zamzam water and thinking Alhamdulillah Allahu Allah Kasam tobecome into la casa Welcome to Allah district of Toronto and you've made it through and you think, Wow, I've kept a brilliant fast

01:15:22--> 01:15:26

you will you have captured hamdulillah I am not, I am not for one moment,

01:15:28--> 01:15:31

disregarding the fast, a great act of a birder.

01:15:33--> 01:15:34

But that's not only what we're supposed to do.

01:15:36--> 01:15:53

We've kept it at hamdulillah. Good fast, but I haven't spoken to my brother, my blood brother for 10 years, five years, four years, three years, two years, one year, four months, five months, one month, 10 days, four days. What is it messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam say?

01:15:56--> 01:16:00

Focus on Earth, from an hedger who focus on lesson.

01:16:03--> 01:16:05

One if you make sure don't let your

01:16:07--> 01:16:21

non conversation and don't let your breaking of ties over go more than three days. Do not desert your fellow Muslim brother or sister for more than three days, from an hedger Aha, who focus on

01:16:22--> 01:16:55

the one and not the one who deserves his fellow Muslim brother or sister, the one who breaks ties the one who does not talk to his fellow Muslim brother or sister, or more than three days and three nights and he dies in that state, the herd and now the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says he shall enter the fire of hell. If I am keeping a fast in a normal bond, and then I have not spoken for 10 days I don't talk to another Muslim for over 10 days I don't even want to see his or her face, have enmity in the heart.

01:16:56--> 01:17:12

What benefit is is fast. The messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is saying that if I was to die at this state, have not spoken without a genuine valid reason is a valid reason. When I am destined to go into the fire of hell May Allah save me and you and all of us. I mean, you're

01:17:14--> 01:17:41

going to think about this is being a Muslim just about fasting and waking up is Ramadan. Just about that is about our interaction with people as well. This habit is actually this this month of Ramadan is actually a training course for us. It's training us to become human beings, in to be human beings become human beings before we even become Muslims. Some of us we are not even human beings.

01:17:42--> 01:17:46

We have to become human beings, you know in Arabic.

01:17:49--> 01:17:52

We have to inculcate in ourselves those good qualities.

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So the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says,

01:17:58--> 01:18:01

quote You're the one who breaks ties

01:18:04--> 01:18:13

he shall not enter Paradise. grave sin, just like me maintain ties is greatly important. Breaking ties a major sin

01:18:15--> 01:18:25

Abdullah he will be over or the Allahu anhu relates to the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said this heavy things in front of him mama Buhari.

01:18:27--> 01:18:28

Official email

01:18:30--> 01:18:44

the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said in a matter less than zero Allah comin feed him call to arrive alone. In naramata Latin Zulu Allah comin v him. RT o Rahim.

01:18:45--> 01:19:06

Allah Subhana Allah has mercy. Allah blessings does not descend on a people on a community, on a group of people within whom there's a person who has broken ties. We asked for the mercy of Allah O Allah, Allahu.

01:19:09--> 01:19:23

Allahu Allah have mercy on us. The messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in saying that you know what, despite you asking for love, and mercy, no mercy will not descend upon your community. If you have people within you who are breaking ties.

01:19:25--> 01:19:39

When we're talking about the non practicing people, we're talking about the practicing so called practicing people, people in the mosques, making dua people in the mosques making them all over the world, of course are amazing good people.

01:19:41--> 01:19:42

But

01:19:44--> 01:19:59

we are making to our to Allah subhanho wa Taala we see Allah have mercy on us. And then we have conflict. We have enmity in our heart We sit in one Masjid. We sit in one mosque, in one city of the world and we make into our Lord have mercy.

01:20:01--> 01:20:09

But we have all the grudges in our heart for another mosque on the other side of the tongue. is a Laguna Have mercy. Of course not.

01:20:10--> 01:20:11

So,

01:20:12--> 01:20:27

this is highly important. The messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, Allah has mercy and Rama does not descend on a community on a group of people in whom was RT Orion, there are people who breaks who break ties,

01:20:29--> 01:21:12

breaking ties, you know, breaking ties, maintaining ties, I will talk about this in more detail inshallah, as we come to the causes of family conflict, but basically what maintenance somebody texted in us is this, what can you explain and define. So, I will go into more details, not today, this is just an introduction. But if you've understood the concept of maintaining ties, maintaining ties is to maintain ties, to be good and courteous towards other people, too, especially with family members and relatives, family conflicts, that's why the title is family conflicts, causes and solutions, family conflicts, causes and solutions. So social conflicts maintain ties is that we are

01:21:12--> 01:21:45

maintaining ties we are we have good connection and relationship with people. And we don't break ties, we don't have enmity, we don't have hatred, we don't have dislike, we don't desert we don't leave talking with other people, especially our relatives, our family members. Yes, without a doubt, it's not a problem. If somebody for example, just does not is not able to get along with someone else, that if you don't, you don't have to, you know, sit with them and eat with them. 24 seven, if you keep a distance, that's fine. These are rules. And if there are specific situations scenarios, go to your local Imams and Allah and scholars and Michel Honshu, and ask them is this permissible?

01:21:45--> 01:22:22

Is this not permissible? So yes, there are times and there are actually ties times when there are specific times and reasons when you can actually break ties but for the sake of Allah, and I will talk about that inshallah. But genuinely, you can't break ties. You can, you know, keep a distance, that's fine, but you can't break ties, so especially the family members and relatives, so this is the sin. The messenger sallallahu Sallam said no matter what you're the one who breaks Tasha, not empty agenda. And we have to look at his brother and sisters, as I said, you know, breaking ties and and conflict and argumentation, as I mentioned, at the beginning of today's program, near the

01:22:22--> 01:23:13

beginning, a minimum alpha, alpha, alpha, mutual love, mutual love is one of the central one of the central obligations of Islam, mutual love, harmony, peace, tranquility, and creating the unity and love and harmony within our societies is considered to be one of the central, one of the most important teachings and obligations of Islam, and the opposite of olfa. The opposite of peace and harmony and love, the breaking of ties, the friction, the conflicts, the slandering, the cursing, the taunting the disunity, the argumentation, is considered to be one of the greatest stuff sins, whether it's with family members, relatives, or generally other Muslims. And as I said, you know,

01:23:13--> 01:23:22

in, in, especially in this month of Ramadan, we really have to control ourselves, you know, this, these great nights that we have, just just listen to this, and I'm going to end with this in short.

01:23:25--> 01:23:36

We have a little Bara Laila thunderstorm in shaba. And we have a lot of other amongst the great nights that we have, even the night of he does a great night, little jezza

01:23:38--> 01:23:39

later Have

01:23:41--> 01:23:42

a great night, the night of power

01:23:44--> 01:23:45

could be throughout the year.

01:23:46--> 01:24:27

But more likely to occur in the month of Ramadan could be throughout the month of Ramadan, but more likely to occur in the odd last 10 nights were last 10 nights, and then could be in any of the 10 nights but more likely to occur in the odd last 10 nights. And then it could be in any of the odd nights but more likely to occur in the 25th and 27th and 29th. And then according to some more likely to occur on the 27th is done in suhar the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa sallam, he actually talked about Lilith in Qatar and he said, You know search it is Danny suha from Asheville and watan the Hara later,

01:24:28--> 01:24:31

he said to her Laila, Russia,

01:24:32--> 01:24:43

actually, so anyway, I just want to talk about this night of power amazingness we know we all go into the mosques and massage and we pack them up and we make Do I understand that

01:24:44--> 01:24:49

the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam actually knew he had knowledge of one little other

01:24:50--> 01:24:51

worse.

01:24:52--> 01:24:58

But there's a hadith in Sahih al Bukhari and some other books and you know this, you know this.

01:24:59--> 01:24:59

Imagine yourself

01:25:00--> 01:25:09

lahari rissanen was given the knowledge of laylat and other of the natural power. What happened to people were arguing outside his house and knowledge was uplifted from him.

01:25:11--> 01:25:13

This gives us a message

01:25:14--> 01:25:22

that argumentation brings about darkness and ignorance. It takes away the bounty the net man the gift of Allah subhanho wa Taala

01:25:25--> 01:26:10

look at the other big night, the great night, the night of blessings. Laila, Tanya swimmin Siobhan. And by the way, Lola Tanya Celine Siobhan. It is a blessing night from many hats, even though most of them if not all of them are considered to be a buy each week. But collectively, according to the Madison, they have this principle that if you have a collective you have more than one week, I believe. Number one is for buying. There are many studies recorded by your mother Pavani mom will be happy in his salon, there's approximately nine to 10 heads that talk about the the greatness of the night of the 15th of Shadowrun Laila to this woman Siobhan and a little barrage called nightmare to

01:26:10--> 01:26:13

freedom from the fire of hell. Laila, congresswomen, Siobhan.

01:26:14--> 01:26:27

So even though most of them if not all of them, individually, they are weak hadiths. But collectively, first of all, they are regarding for by virtuous actions, virtuous actions.

01:26:28--> 01:27:06

You know, Ramadan, handleset, Raja NFL halali will have Ronnie shahina NFL former elite asahina when we have Hadith regarding halal and haram the lawful and unlawful then we are strict, but if it's regarding the virtuous actions, then we be lenient in hazardous palani and many more hodgetwins have said clearly, that if there's a weak Hadith and it's to do with virtuous actions, then you can act upon another problem. And then it's not only one Hadith, we have 910 Hadees collectively they reach a level which is called haselwood ad. They are, you know, accepted. So anyway, let me sharpen this one Hadith regarding the Knights of the 15th of charbon messenger sallallahu alayhi wa early he was

01:27:06--> 01:27:09

happy we'll send them was describing

01:27:10--> 01:28:00

the Rama the mercy of Allah on the night of the 15th of shadow and later Mr. Sharma and he said, You're a la junta Island in a nerdy big country shouting honey bunny Come on that night on the night of 15th 15th of Shaban. Allah's mercy is increased to such an extent that Allahu subhana wa Taala frees those people who are destined to go into the fire of hell. you freeze me other people, the number of witches to the level of because they share it, let me tell, you know, there was a tribe called cold, cold. They had hundreds and 1000s of animals that sheeps and goats, the hair that is on the animals own Bible, which means just like you cannot count, there's no ending. There's no number

01:28:00--> 01:28:11

that you can place on the amount of hair. Just imagine what animal has how many 1000 million has imagined, in other words, and countable amounts of people allow fleas

01:28:13--> 01:28:34

removes from the fire of hell, on the night of the 15th of Shaban imagined the mercy of Allah but despite that, on that night, Allah subhanho wa Taala let alone forgive, he does not even look. He does not even look at certain people, let alone forgiving. He does not even look at certain people.

01:28:35--> 01:28:43

Subhan Allah, He doesn't even look at certain people. When I invert, Allahu Allah, Masha, Allah, Allah,

01:28:45--> 01:28:46

Allah Allah must be one of

01:28:47--> 01:29:32

four types of people. The one who's a alcohol addict. Allah does not forget you know the night in which Allah frees from the fire of hell millions of people literally millions and millions no end on that night Let alone forgiving a lot is not even look now young dog the highest is what a young boy Allahu Allah does not even look at photos people with a hammer, the one who's an alcohol addict those who have a habit of law save you know law protects you may Allah those who don't have a habit Nola savior protects you and those who have May Allah take you out from that habit in the law forgive you and take you away from that evil activity. And habit.

01:29:33--> 01:29:36

Number two, Miss bill is the one who

01:29:37--> 01:29:46

lengthen his garment. And according to many scholars out of pride, in other words, you know, you're being arrogant and proud again, being proud and arrogant towards people.

01:29:47--> 01:29:53

And then the next two, and this is the reason why I mentioned this to people who Allah does not even look at inequality

01:29:56--> 01:29:59

in the one who has hatred and enmity

01:30:00--> 01:30:03

enmity and dislike in his or her heart for other people.

01:30:05--> 01:30:06

ties have been broken.

01:30:09--> 01:30:32

There was friendship, you broke your friendship. You're working for someone, your employer, something happened he fired you. You've not spoken to him for over five months. You had a friend, something went wrong. You have enmity, hatred in the heart. You had a business partner, something went wrong with the business. You haven't spoken for one year because you've got no problems and between the heart and material hatred in the heart, this is called Misha

01:30:33--> 01:30:56

Ilakaka him, and the one who breaks ties. He doesn't talk to his brother, he hasn't spoken to his father, he doesn't speak to his sister doesn't speak to his relatives to his first cousin. He doesn't she doesn't speak to her mother in law, daughter in law, etc, etc. Sister in law. On the night of the 15th of Shabbat, Allah subhanho wa Taala forgives numerous hundreds and 1000s and millions of people.

01:30:57--> 01:31:35

Allah does not even look at these kind of people. So therefore, contributing our brothers and sisters, we've talked for two days on the importance of maintaining ties the importance of being good and courteous and cordial towards people being kind and considerate towards people being loving and caring, avoiding disputes specifically and especially family disputes, avoiding family conflicts, avoiding argumentations calls disputes and especially we need to start from this month of Ramadan. This month our model Ramadan is a training camp is a training course for us. This is where we start we need to control ourselves and this is why one of the reasons we fast so we control our,

01:31:36--> 01:32:15

you know selves. We have to really control as I said, the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam always said that there are so many people who have nothing from their fast except drinking except hunger and thirst, because they argue they swear they slander races, young enough to shut up. He named him in a lovely refer. So avoid especially in this start off in this month of Ramadan, brothers and sisters. Avoid argumentation totally completely just put like a, you know, like a zip on your tongue. If something happens if someone speaks to you, like a tape, and just don't argue with anyone. If we have ties broken with our family members without additives, ask forgiveness from

01:32:15--> 01:32:52

them from Allah subhana wa tada and try to maintain them. It doesn't matter Life is too short. You know, nothing will happen if you go down. Actually, there's one Hadith Subhana Allah you know, there's one Hadith where the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says because you might think okay, but then they're wrong, and then they're wrong, and it's their fault. It's her fault, and it's not my fault. It doesn't matter. Let them be at fault. You know, there's a hadith fits into this hadith and I will end with this Hadith, the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he says, in one Hadees, that the one mentor uncle Mira, who have been the one who leaves argumentation calls

01:32:52--> 01:33:34

disputes, despite being on the right. Despite being on the truth. For example, you are right, it was not your fault. Imagine you had you had a business partner, something went wrong. And you're not talking to one another. It was you know, for a fact everybody knows normally. I mean, generally you think it's his fault, and he will think it's your fault. Okay. That's normally how we work. husband thinks his wife's fault wife thinks husband's fault. But in this case, everyone knows for a fact that he was at fault. It was his fault. You are not at fault. Despite that you left argumentation, and you said sorry, first. The messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says that I myself will

01:33:34--> 01:34:16

guarantee Jen and paradise for that person. Lehman teracle Mira, for the one who, despite being on the truth and being on the right and despite not being at fault, he said sorry, first, just to suggest so that the argument and the call in the dispute vanishes, then evaporates and goes away just for that fact. He knows that it's not his fault, but for the sake of unity, for the sake of not prolonging the dispute. He said, Okay, sorry, my fault, no problem. And remember, not not in a sarcastic manner because sarcastically that's that's also a way of retaliation, as I said, so we need to start off in this month, brother and sister seriously, you know, we need to if we have

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problems with other people, ask forgiveness, even if you're if not, you're not in the wrong seek forgiveness from them. Try to make peace and harmony amongst brothers and sisters inshallah, I will end with this. From tomorrow, we're going to start with the causes the title of our talk every day from 645 to lift our family conflicts, social conflicts, causes and solutions. So from tomorrow inshallah, we'll talk about the causes, I will mention one by one point by point, each cause the reason why we have social and family conflicts, and where are the solutions? How do we avoid them in sha Allah, I pray to Allah He bless and blesses us and gives us the ability to practice on what I've

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said in sha Allah akula. Korea was through law

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sallallahu wasallam Allah Sina Mohammed Abu Salim saramonic wa Taala Baraka