Would You Delete a Contact because Your Wife said so?

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Mufti Menk

Channel: Mufti Menk

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Episode Transcript

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Assalamu alaikum if your wife were to tell you to delete a certain contact from your phone, would you do that? And if your husband were to ask you to delete a certain contact from your phone, would you delete that? Well, I want to tell you that, whose relationship do you value more? Number one? Number two is? What is the reason they're asking you to delete the contact? Have you had inappropriate communication with that person? Is it necessary to be in touch with that person? What are you gaining from the relationship or the connection or the contact with that particular person? Now, if you've come together in marriage with someone, surely they are important, they're supposed

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to be the most important person within your social circles. So the prophets of Allah Salam says, Hi, eurocom eurocom, Li Li, the best from among you is he or she who is best to his spouse or her spouse. Now, if that is the case, then surely being the best to your spouse would mean, if they requested and recommended or asked you to delete a contact or to stop communicating with a particular person, then you would definitely take that seriously. And if you didn't have any meaningful, constructive, highly beneficial communication with the person, they're asking you to delete from your device, or from your context, you would actually then delete it for their sake, to

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make them happy. Because to make your spouse happy, you would become one of the best people, right? As per the Hadith of the Prophet, sallAllahu, alayhi wasallam. And it's not in the transgression of Allah, in fact, it's probably going to draw you closer to Allah, by deleting someone whom your spouse feels, is going to be a problem in your relationship with your spouse. So many people say, I'm not going to do that, you know, that's okay. It's up to you do what you want, you can go home if you want. All those statements are not the statements of a wise, responsible person, you think about who is asking you to do what, and some people say, Don't let your spouse control you Well, to be

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honest with you, if what they're asking you is going to make them happy when you fulfill it, and it's not something Haram, it's reasonable, you're not going to suffer a major loss. If you do that, then come on, consider it, do it for their sake. And for the sake of your relationship. Don't be, you know, a person who wants to come across as very tough to say, I will do what I want, who are you, when I'm your spouse, Subhana Allah and I'm requesting it. If my spouse were to request me to cut communication with a particular person, I would chop it off. If they were to say, delete this contact, it's gone. It's history. Because, for me, my relationship with my spouse would actually

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mean, you know, the best relationship with my spouse would mean, I am a very good person based on the advice of the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wasallam. And his instruction. I mean, I didn't marry for nothing. May Allah subhanho wa Taala, grant us an understanding. So this is why I'm here to tell you today, if your spouse is saying, delete this contact deleted. And if for some reason you feel that it's going to be a very big loss, if you don't explain to the spouse without screaming without yelling, you know, explain to them why exactly you need it. And you need to understand all they're trying to do is protect you from communication that would either lead to something wrong, or that

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would hurt them.

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May Allah subhanho wa Taala make it easy. And notice how I haven't only spoken about wives or only husbands but both. And the same would apply Subhana Allah if we cared for someone and they asked us to do something, surely we would do it, it would make them happy. So what about a spouse? Surely we should be caring about our spouses, our children, our family members and so on. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us a deep understanding the best from amongst you, those who are best to your spouse's. I know some people don't really think of that. But if you were to ponder over those words of the Prophet peace be upon him. Indeed, they would be really, really beneficial. They would change

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the way you do things before I end, let me tell you that don't just go through the devices of your spouse's unnecessarily. It's not something that's recommended at all. Don't spy it is prohibited. Don't try to pry and look into what they're doing. That's also wrong. But at the same time, don't tell them to delete contact just to see whether they listen to you or do something when there is no need.

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For that, if there is no need for it, then leave it. Learn to be trusting. Learn to be a person who does not just issue instruction or request things without proper reason. If there's a reason and handler, but don't be unreasonable by asking your spouse to just delete this cut that contact cutters and cut that, because of your check in your doubts, no, don't have doubts, he may Allah subhanho wa Taala, grant us ease. However, my brothers and sisters, all of us have communication with the opposite sex those whom we are not related to, for purposes of something beneficial, whether it's work, whether it's something that we need, etc. Keep it respectful, make sure that it

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is respectful and make sure that it is well within what would please Allah subhanho wa Taala. Because human kindness is such that you can easily fall into a new level that may not be so pleasing to Allah subhanho wa Taala anymore. So for that case, or for that reason, we must make sure that we are transparent in our relationships, and that we understand how to prioritize. I've struck the balance here, number one telling you that we should consider what our spouses would be happy with number two is telling you that when you want to ask your spouse something Don't be unreasonable in that request, may Allah make it easy for every one of us in our relationships. The most beautiful

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people are those who have the most blessed relationships with their families, the greatest understanding the most

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tolerant and at the same time, respectable to each other respectful, you're filling, fulfilling each other's rights in a beautiful way and beyond just the rights. You have a relationship that's amazing. May Allah grant every one of us that goodness Apollo Kohli hava Sala Lahore Elena Vina Mohammed was Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.