Ramadan 2023 Appeal
Towards a Happy Family
Channel: Mufti Menk
File Size: 28.18MB
East London Mosque
Episode Transcript ©
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Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.
Mashallah Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim al hamdu Lillah wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah Allah Allah, he was happy to mine. We praise Allah subhanho wa Taala we send blessings and salutations upon Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, his companions, his household May Allah bless them, bless every one of us, grant us goodness and give us the best of homes and families may Allah subhanahu wa taala grant solution to those who are looking for solutions may Allah subhanho wa Taala grant ease to those who are struggling with any form of difficulty, be it in the family unit or outside of that family unit. in whatever way it may be. May Allah grant cure to those who are sick and Ill May Allah
subhanho wa Taala have mercy upon those who have passed on. I mean,
my brothers and sisters that were aleikum wa sallam when I first got up here was very, very encouraging. One of the reasons why I'm here at lm Mashallah, when we speak, people respond and that's very good for the speaker. Because at least you don't feel like you're just speaking to a wall Mashallah, but rather, you're speaking to brothers and sisters who love each other for the sake of Allah. I feel the love Mashallah. And I felt it there were brothers here saying, Can I take a picture? And can I not take a picture and so on? Can I greet and can I shake and Can I hug etc. My brothers and sisters, that is not always possible number one. Number two is that's not going to get
you any closer to genital windows. I'm sure you know that. I always say you will take a picture with any shape or anyone you cannot show an angel that and say listen, have a picture with this guy. You got to let me through here you know, not at all but Mashallah there is to a certain extent, excitement amongst people sometimes, if you'd like the most intelligent of the lot of those who sit where they are, turn around and take that selfie from where they are seated. And they don't need to ask anyone about anything. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us goodness similarly, I heard one brother saying, I'd like to be like you and someone sometimes say I'd like to my children to be like
you when I say you aiming very low, you go to a much higher than a guy like me, a guy like me Subhanallah you got to aim higher for the Sahaba of the Aloha home and the likes. The true heroes are those who have passed on and their record is already Subhan Allah for us to see the companions of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam were chosen by Allah Almighty himself. Anyway, the topic this evening is towards a happy family Mashallah, we're searching for happiness, for contentment for goodness for success. Guess who is the owner of all those?
Who is the owner of all those? A law? So if you'd like all of that, primarily, you start off by knocking the right door. If you happen to search for happiness, goodness, contentment, success, money, who doesn't want money? Everyone wants money, right? Who wants money put up your hand. Mashallah, those who don't come Hand it over here. He needs it. Mashallah. PLM needs it Baraka comm they are doing some good work. So everyone wants wealth, everyone wants success. Everyone wants good health. Everyone wants everything nice. All those nice things the owner of them is Allah. Develop your relationship with Allah.
Develop your relationship with the word of Allah, it's the first step two, your success. And it's the first step towards a happy family. You need to develop a relationship with Allah. So what happens? I'm always inspired by a specific Hadith of the Prophet salla. Salaam. I mentioned it in this question, and I'm going to repeat it again today. So that beautiful narration is where the prophets Allah, Allah tells us something. After he was asked a question by his companions, they asked him a question. Very powerful question. Before I get to the question, what's your aim? What's my aim? Ultimately, where do we want to reach? Can you tell me genital photos? It means paradise.
Ultimately, I want to reach paradise. I tell you something. Moments ago I was in North London. I wanted to reach this machine. What did I do? What do you think I did? I was driving by the way. What do you think I did?
Do I know London?
GPS the brother says GPS he is 100% spot on. It's called Tom Tom. But there's a lady speaking I don't know. confusing, right? My brothers and sisters that's exactly what I did east. As soon as I said East London, one of the first dropdowns was East London Mosque. Wow. It goes to show how many people actually come to the masjid what they learn in hamdulillah. It's a good thing. The first drop down is East London Mosque. And I think
clicked on it and it started showing me right. When I missed one turn it showed me what to do you need to do this and now go back and come back onto this road. You know why I'm trying to get somewhere I made a little mistake. Perhaps we were talking it was quite busy the traffic was a lot of this time of the day. What law he my brothers and sisters, we have something more serious than a navigation system that will take you straight to your ultimate goal, which you all said is paradise. And that is the word of Allah.
Allah tells you turn left you turn left, turn, right, you turn right go straight, you go straight stop, you stop, go back, you go back, make a U turn, you make a U turn. But the problem is we don't turn on that GPS. The GPS is such that it actually tells you speed trap.
Wow. So Panama, you know what's going on. You want that happiness. There is a Tong Tong showing you the happiness. In fact, we cannot even call it a TomTom. We need to call it words of guidance. There is a direction straight, it will lead you to a specific goal. And you know that but the problem is, you know, we're too engrossed in the world. Let me tell you there is a balance between this dunya and akhira. This worldly life and the hereafter, there is a beautiful balance. Those who tell you to divorce yourself from this world have not understood the world and those who tell you to enjoy it to the degree that you forgotten where you're going to go have also not understood the reality of the
world. Allah says when he speaks about a prayer, a supplication that is to be made
Makka Sabu. What law said he is
from among the people, they are those whom when they call out to Allah, they strike the balance between this life and the next life. So they say, oh, our Lord, grant us goodness in this world. That's the beginning of the
amazing, you know, man is such that we want the goodness of this world first. And Allah says, we will give you the goodness of this world, we will give you the goodness of this world, not necessarily what you think is your goodness, I was speaking to some brothers today. And I want to ask all of you within yourself to look within yourselves and see. Do you know that if sometimes, if the plan you had for your own life was granted, exactly as you wanted it, perhaps you would not have seen the the successes that you have seen as a result of doors being closed by Allah for you.
You need to be happy. Where are you today? Sometimes you sitting you've got your own business, and you're doing well. But you were fired from a job just three years ago, so panela that was not firing that was unlike closing the door to say I think you can do better on your own. So Pamela, and we got depressed, I lost the job, while Allah says Why are you getting depressed, pick up the pieces, it was not in your hands, or it might have been to a small degree according to our allowance. And you know what, that would be something positive I genuinely am really looking for in a hula, hula hoop in the face of a true believer are amazing. They can never be negative, they are always good. When
something happens, you always say Alhamdulillah when it doesn't happen your way, say Alhamdulillah twice, because it's happened the way Allah wanted it anyway. It's amazing. Don't become despondent. I was saying we're searching for genital for DOS, the owner of the agenda is Allah has shown us the path but we're not prepared to turn it on why we haven't yet read the Quran with its meaning. We haven't yet understood it. We haven't bothered to put it into practice, we haven't bothered to become good people. Now let's get back to that heartbeat. I was saying one of my favorite.
So the professor salon was asked, What are the characteristics of those who are in general, those in paradise? What would be the reasons that got them into paradise? Wouldn't you like to know that?
A person who won
a match or a race or an examination, a person who passed with flying colors? And if you needed to get to that position? Wouldn't you like to have a meeting with them to say, how did you get to where you've got to please let me know. And then they will tell you, I did this, I did this and I did this, you have to do that.
Because if you're looking at someone as a role model someone somewhere you want to be you need to know what they did to get there so that you can actually get there to the people of gender in general. I want to know how did they get there? Why because I want to do that. So do you think the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam gave a long leg
And he told them because getting gender is my main goal and yours getting paradise? Did he give them a long lecture? No, he just said two words. Two words. You know what they were takala he was no hold up chapter closed and Hadeeth ended.
You need two things. The people of Ghana have two qualities main predominant. What are they? the consciousness of Allah meaning the relationship with Allah. And secondly, greatness in character and conduct meaning the relationship with the rest of the creatures of the same Allah, we've always spoken about this. So if you want paradise, work on yourself, work on your relationship with Allah, that's the key to start it. And you will get happiness in this world. Because when you realize that everything happens according to Allah. And when he's given you the capacity to do something, the energy, the mental ability, the intellect, the the opportunities, sees them, make use of them, don't
be lazy, don't sit back and say, Well, if Allah wants, it will happen. Allah gave you the capacity, Allah gave you everything, you need to get up to do it, and Allah would have opened the doors for you. But because you didn't, the doors remain closed.
Imagine you want to marry someone, and you just look at them every day and smile, what's going to happen?
So panela, you got to do something, open your mouth, go and see the father, go and see someone else go and do something about it. Within your capacity. If after you've done everything about it, the doors were all closed and everything was closed, and even the Big Black Gate in the front became closed, then you know what? You got to say Allah didn't want it and walk away. Nevermind.
Perhaps Allah will bless you with children better than the children you would have had? Had you gotten that in a way that these may see greater success than those who knows? Who knows? Only Allah knows. Do you know the future? The answer is no, Allah knows. So be happy. Just do your best and leave the rest in the hands of Allah no matter what. You lost your job, you lost this, you lost that, take it in your stride. Alhamdulillah, you'll have a happier home, you'll have a happier family, people are stressed. You know what they can't show that stress to the people they work with. Because they're big guys, they they want to impress the girls at work. So they don't show them any
bad habits, nothing. But you go home, first thing, you start swearing, you start screaming, you start shouting, you start showing your real self. So Han Allah Subhana Allah. That's why the prophet SAW Selim says, you know, who's the best person, the one who's best to his family members, always the best. You know why that person has shown the family that when I'm upset, I'm still a good guy. When I'm angry, I'm still a good guy. When I'm hungry. I'm still a good guy. When I've suffered a bad day, I'm still a good guy, when I've suffered a loss. I'm still a good guy. And I'm always a good guy, then you're really a good guy, Subhana Allah.
But if you're a good guy outside the home, and when you come back home, then you're not a good guy at all. Who knows better, what type of a person you are.
So that's the reason why the Prophet sallallaahu salam tells us watch who you are. You want to really know who a man is. Go ask his wife. You want to really know who a woman is. Ask the husband or ask the family members. If they're honest enough, they will tell you the truth. May Allah protect us.
Be honest, be upright, you lose a deal because of your honesty, no problem. Allah will give you Baraka Baraka in it. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us Baraka, the meaning of Baraka, his blessings in Simple English, you achieve blessings, what's the meaning of blessings, you have that contentment within you, you are delighted with the little that Allah has given you because so much has been achieved with that little Allah gave you rather than having the millions and the billions and you can't even see your left from your right, you're not even happy, you don't even know pillar to post blessings are snatched away when sins are committed. Remember that you have the best spouse,
the best person Allah chose for you, as a husband or as a wife. You cannot see it because you know what you're involved in other sins so you're blinded, blinded, by whom by shape and your home is no longer happy. Because your relationship with Allah is weak. Your relationship with Satan has become strong.
Your relationship with shape and become strong, you become blind. What happens to the blind is the best wife on Earth.
I don't want to say but perhaps I should show that people would die to be married to your wife and you're still alive.
Allah grant us ease. You understand what I mean? People would say how lucky is this guy? Wow. The sisters will say this guy's got a really good wife. And you know what?
We can't see that. We're blinded because there's some sin happening. Either this haram income there either this haram relationships, they're either this haram food they're either there's something wrong happening there. Either. There's no Salah there's no connection with Allah. So
The coolness of the eyes will not be achieved because the heat of the sun has overtaken that coolness. This is why I started off by saying point number one develop your relationship with Allah people think, ah, but that point, you know, everyone just talks about it I am being honest, the owner of the solution is Allah, people across the globe, I've had the opportunity of communicating and interacting with some non Muslims who are very, very famous on earth, and they have told me, we have no contentment, we're looking for happiness, you know what keeps them
ticking, clicking some of them, the drugs, the alcohol, the intoxicants, the dirty life, the attention etc. Not at all. A true believer knows that that is very temporary and very fake. It has a heat to it, that would add to the flame rather than extinguish it.
So be calm concentrate on what Allah has given you. You have a job, cherish it, work hard. The money you've earned when it is really earned. You'll have a happy family. You know why many of us?
We have a job suppose to work from what time to what time here? approximately nine to nine to five Mashallah, you're lucky with us is eight to five. You guys have one hour knocked off? I think it's called Greenwich Mean Time, right.
Okay, so you have one hour less nine to five and you have an hour for lunch, I guess. Right? Lunch and Salah, I hope okay? Or is it salah and lunch, either way, so long as the Salah is there.
But you get to work at, maybe maybe you're a good guy, you get to work at eight and then you're on your phone up to quarter past eight. And then when the boss walks out, you're playing your video games, and you're clocking in one after the other and then when the guy comes back, you're ducking and diving before it used to be newspapers nowadays, there's no newspapers, you know why? technology is taken over and we're doing everything to panela. And you know what? You're stealing from your boss's time? Are you allowed to do this? No. If you if you are allowed, some bosses say look, I'll give you some time to play video games. Anyone from amongst us who's a boss who allows them
Mashallah, there's a brother who put his hand up, I think he must be enjoying playing the game you need someone to play with right?
hamdulillah Angela. So to be very honest, that money that income that came to you technically you might think I worked for it, and I earned it. But you know what, there will be some lack of some blessing because something went wrong within it. That was not meant to be you've actually stolen a portion of it. I know it might sound a bit harsh, but it's a fact Islam teaches us to look into even that much Subhanallah even that much you pinched from someone you are not honest, you went to work, work properly, you work hard. You know, when you've earned that money through your own sweat, trust me, you will realize its value number one. Number two, Allah will allow you to have the bargains
that are available in a way that you didn't imagine. I earned 1000 pounds and I bought goods that lasted me so long. There was another guy who spent 10,000 pounds on something similar and it was depleted before he knew. But Allah blessed me. May Allah grant us that blessing.
How many of us, we earn a little but end of the week, end of the month, we still have changed and how many of us earn a lot. End of the week, there is no more money left, your oiling something haram check it out. There is something happening in the system that needs cleaning a little bit and this is why we say my brothers and sisters something a lot of us don't talk about is the purification of the heart. You want to happiness purify your heart, look at your brother with love look at your sister with Mashallah the genuine look, you don't want to attack and harm and hurt and hate everyone on earth for what these are your brothers and sisters like it or not so panela they are your
brothers and sisters when someone is down don't slap them further down. Think of how can I empower this person? How can I bring them up again, you bring someone up Allah will bring you even higher Subhanallah you want the help of Allah help another person Allah will help you. You want wealth, give something to someone see how Allah returns it to you tenfold. He promises that to you. The problem is we can't part we cannot part with a small amount of money. We cannot part with it. You know why? It's mine. That's why Allah says Zakah is charity. If he wanted, he would have taken it without it coming to you. But Allah says, I'm going to give you 100 I just want to see if you can
give me two pound 50 back change. I want to see it. Are you going to do it? A lot of us just keep the 100 in the pocket. That's it done. zaccaria I Oh, I know. I owe somewhere. Work it out. Okay, I will I will no stop everything.
Look at how sometimes people have
Little bit of gold. Sometimes they have a little bit of savings and they say, you know what, my money is all caught up even in the building, even in something else my money is caught up, how can I pay the car. And I always say, when you have $100 bill, or in this case in this country a 50 pound bill, you are going to need to break it to take out that two and a half or 175, you're going to need to break it anyway. So you will still have those few 10s maybe to 20. And a little bit of change, you will have people say but I don't want to break your heart should not be connected to the dunya to the degree that it compromises your Acura because then you will lose the dunya as well. That do
are the prophets of Salaam tells us. In fact, Allah subhanho wa Taala says there are people who call out to Allah saying, Oh our Lord grant us goodness in this dunya in this world give us goodness and give us goodness in the hereafter as well.
Which means the two are connected. If Allah grants you that you are what are you going to have goodness in this world goodness in the hereafter.
Allah has never ever kept true success in how much you have materially.
That's why when we are married, and we want a happy home, never put pressure on your spouse regarding material items. Even if it's your own money, don't waste money, beyond your proper capacity, learn to adjust, to budget to downsize, to downgrade to prioritize when you're married within the marriage, even if that's your own money, learn to prioritize because you know what? The ability to spend in the correct manner for the correct things according to the right amount. And to budget properly is already half of success.
It's half of success. You know how to spend, you know how to draw the, the strike the balance between your income and expenditure. That's half of success.
No need to borrow No need to go and get unnecessary. You know, to inject yourself unnecessary. There's no need for that. If it's something necessary, it's another thing. But unnecessarily we, we need this we need that. You know, my brothers and sisters, many people are struggling in their marriages in their families, because they are spending more than they earn. And they are too ashamed of the pressure of peers or the community to downgrade and downsize. No harm. You don't need to have the latest of everything. Nevermind. We get people with a smile with tacky clothes, they will greet you back better than if it was a person who wore the best of clothing but had an attitude. Who would
you prefer? I prefer a guy who would who greeted so well with such warmth and care and who really helped and assisted when they probably have tattered clothing than the guy who wore the latest Tom Ford suit. And you know what he came up smelling before we could see him and when he walked past he was just like he had his nose up in the air.
Gosh, may Allah protect us.
So who do you want to be? Do we want to be a show for people? One of the biggest diseases is when we worry about others rather worry about your own life.
So many problems come about because people worry about what others are going to say brother lead your life that others will follow.
I remember there was an I have to bring this because it's to do with happiness in the family. A lot of people lose happiness because today what's happening is the young out here if you're not married please put up your hand.
Guys before we leave the masjid most of you will be married inshallah
I see all the intelligent ones were saying army. The others were just laughing. To me it was
you know, if we follow the proper system, that of Islam that is so simple, free of racism, nepotism, tribalism, whatever else ism and free of materialism, etc, etc. We would have been married a long time back. The problem with us is I'm worried about this one. What will happen if I married if my allow my child to marry that guy, what's my brother and my my family and my community going to say trust me, they will say nothing. They will learn from you. They will talk for a little while until their children come up. I know of a marriage right now that's being blocked, but the guy is a lovely guy, same nationality, same whatever. Same in so many different ways. But the folks are saying, you
know what, if you as a father of the girl allows this to happen, what's going to happen to our daughters, they're also going to want to do the same and what's wrong, they will probably do something that you will have to hide your face. Regarding this is honorable man. Let it happen. Let it be. That's one of the reasons why we're not happy in our families is we're blocking what Allah did not block. Remember this
We stopped being what Allah did not stop with this allowing what Allah allowed. So how can you be happy? How are you going to have a happy home towards a happy home, you want to walk in that direction, don't disallow what Allah allowed, if Allah allowed it learn as a good Muslim, like I started by saying your happiness is by developing your relationship with Allah. Wasn't that my first point? So if Allah said, allow this, you saying no, I won't, well, then forget about your happiness. It's not gonna come.
If Allah says, Look at this point in this point, you know, I can tell you something about marriage, you look at Dean and look, and the Hadith says if the dean is good, if they are great, and so on, and the and both of them would like to marry one another if you're not going to let that happen. The same Hadith says there will be fitna and facade on Earth. People don't want to hear that Hadith. They don't even want to hear it. Sometimes religious people don't want to hear it. But the world out there is filled with adultery, fornication, whatever else it is, if you're trying to get into marriage, you need to know you're going to need to help people get out of whatever you may consider
unacceptable. And to do that, you have to go back to Allah. Otherwise, it's not gonna happen. A lot of the people are suffering, I'm not going to ask you to raise your hands if you relate to what I've just said. Because I think we won't be able to count the hands.
My brothers and sisters, it's a reality. make things easy. Make halaal easy, Allah will give you happiness. If you make halaal. Easy, you've made haram difficult. And if you've made halaal difficult, you've made haram easy.
Don't let your pride and your ego drive you beyond what Allah has told you. Not at all. It shouldn't be there. And these words, people don't like to hear them. But if you want happiness in the family, and that's the topic today, you have to start off by understanding the children I have the family I have, I'm just a member, do you know something that makes me amazed? If Allah wanted, he could have created a singular, so you have no family. It's just me. If he wanted, he could have done that we could have grown from the ground like the trees. No, it's just me, I'm alone, singular. But Allah wanted us
to feel better.
To have a type of a life where we are empowered by those around us. They support us. So we live and we can actually have interactions that are beneficial for us. every interaction will either take you towards gender, which is paradise or towards Hellfire, which is jahannam. every interaction is one of the two. Every time something happens, ask yourself, if the prophet SAW Selim was here, what would he have told me? And if does Allah allow this? Or does he not allow it? How can I actually earn a reward? And how can I protect myself from the opposite?
As simple as that? So each time something happens, it's from Allah. I was saying, If Allah wanted, he could have made us singular, but Allah made us in order that we can earn closeness to him. We've got people around us imagine you have a spouse, you have children, you have parents, you have brothers, you have sisters, that family unit is so powerful, so powerful, so powerful, that the Hadith and the Koran tells us that Allah subhanho wa Taala rewards a person who mends broken family ties so immensely and intensely that they would engender by solving a problem in the home. But with us, we're looking for how we can split the house, break the house, and sometimes we are the problem
and blaming someone else.
We are the problem because we are not following what Allah said. And we are telling someone else you're the problem because you know what, we too proud to admit that we are wrong.
House is broken up because of who you think broken because of your You are the culprit. That's what happens.
May Allah safeguard us?
That having been said, I must say your parents are by far the most important people in your life. Remember that? Your parents their value is such that you should involve them in all major decisions and make dua for them, that Allah guide them to help you and to guide you.
They have worked a lot for you, they've struggled. You want a happy home week, it cannot just be one sided. My beloved parents who are here, be easygoing, be loving, communicate with your children, talk to them, don't just attack them. Yesterday, I had the opportunity of speaking, I felt it was one of the most powerful lectures I've delivered. That's what I felt it, it the way it came out was something that I wasn't expecting. To be honest. What I said in a nutshell is every word that you utter, and every action that you actually do has such a powerful impact upon those around you that you probably wouldn't realize when you
Keep telling your child you're stupid, you're ugly, you're thick, you're, you're a failure, you're a flop you're going to see, they begin to believe that and as time passes, they react in a way that actually depicts what happened to them in their childhood with your bad comments. You did not empower them. You destroyed them.
Your child. You're gorgeous. You can do it. Oh, you came 10th in the class. Wow. There are 20 people You did very, very well. hamdulillah Mashallah, Did you enjoy it? Yes, you did. Wow. You did? Well, you only failed one subject. Amazing. You passed the other nine. Those are words of empowerment. Try and ask the people I know.
failed. One useless, wasted my money. What about the other nine? So Pamela, Muslim, change attitudes. You go to school to enjoy yourself and to work as hard as your capacity allows more than that? I can't. Not everyone is absolutely intelligent. Allah has shown us this. And I'm saying this for the second time in two days.
Some of the wealthiest from amongst us here, asked him about their school life.
It will be an embarrassment. They'll tell you I've integrated seven. The other one say I failed I was a dropout. The other one would say okay, ask the who's who won the globe search for the richest people's names, check their check their credentials in terms of academics.
They received free doctorates in earning money later on in life, but they have nothing before that. Zero, they only made money. Allah showing you the two are not really totally connected. It's got to do with how hard you work and how much you trust in Allah and what Allah really will
allow grant us goodness. So work on develop your relationship with Allah by understanding the children are an Amana Your parents are also just an Amana. Allah gave you the people around you in order for you to have some company on earth. And that's why on the Day of Judgment, when you arrive, you will be alone to give your accounts.
What aka Digi
coo Shoraka What a powerful verse was describing the day of judgment when you came in front of us all alone, just like when we first made you all alone, you know, before you were born, where were you
in the womb what happened to you when you came on to the earth and Allah says, we gave you a lot of people around you and things became nice, you got Oh my mom, my dad, my this my that my that that's all Allah Allah is gonna take you back. Allah says, Now you back with us all alone, where we don't see with you all of those who used to be around you, where are they gone?
Allah says chopped, gone. This is you and I.
So Allah has given you a favor of those around you to for you to earn a reward. Or if you do the wrong thing, you're going to achieve the opposite. Don't do the wrong thing. It's an Amana? can I prove to you that your children actually do not totally belong to you.
Your parents actually do not totally belong to you. You're allowed to say my mother, my father for a short while for a while.
But let me tell you when you die, when you hear that someone passed away, what's the first thing you say? Can you say it?
In Allahu ala Raja, what does it mean? We belong to Allah and unto Allah is our return. Subhana Allah, your own child, if you had total, you know, ownership of that child and it was your own property, you would have been able to have more say, when the child was about to die, but you had no say the child died when Allah had the say, you didn't have a say, the child was given to you as Allah world, not as you will. So Whose child is it in actual fact, meaning who is the owner of that particular person? It's Allah Subhana Allah, Allah lends you. Allah gives you some he doesn't give some he gives only female, some only male, some both. All of that is a test of Allah pass it and you
will get it. The connection that you have sometimes between yourselves and your family members is such that you make it to our Lord gatherers in general, bring us together in Jenna unite us in paradise. Why? Because Allah gave you a good time here on earth with each other. So you're worried about, you know, being together in general. I always say my brothers and sisters worry about getting to Geneva. Once you're there, whatever you want. You will get anything you want. You get it
A lot of us say you know, a Sharla in general I'll have this and I say Do you even know that you're going to gender?
Are you even inshallah we will say ami
mela, grandpa's gender. Without reckoning, you know, we're all we're all human beings we evolved. We try we love Allah that's why we're seated here in his house by the way when you're sitting in someone's house, it means you're close to them. If I was sitting at your house, what does it mean? I just came I sat here for one hour, and I'm okay I picked up something from the shelf and I did whatever. Imagine someone comes into your house, they go into the kitchen, turn on the little, it means they close to you, right? Come closer to allow you come into the masjid you sit, you feel cool, you relax. Don't cause a problem in the house of Allah. Don't start shouting and fighting here
in the house of Allah. This is the house of Allah. The fact that you're here. He loves you. You're trying. What do you want? Yeah, I know. I love Allah. Yes, I'm a human, I falter. I've made a few mistakes. But that's not that's not really me. That's actually, you know, a mistake that happened I sought the forgiveness of Allah I know I'm not supposed to be doing x y Zed. When you're heading in the right direction by the will of Allah be stronger and stronger. As time passes, get closer and closer to Allah. That's what will achieve this success for you. So my brothers and sisters, that happiness in the home.
That happy home that happy family. It comes when we realize and understand
that Allah subhanho wa Taala should be first in our dress code.
improve it, ask yourself is this pleasing to my maker? If it is, Masha, Allah, Allah will please you today, tomorrow, the next day and it's not going to be easy. You know, when Allah says, you do this, you will get paradise. That thing cannot be such a simple task, it's going to be quite tough. Because what you're getting in return is huge, very big.
You know, Allah kept five Salah day, it is amazing, it is unique Subhan Allah, the financial that you have, is at a time when sometimes and some of the other prayers, a time when others might say, ah, a little bit awkward, you know, it's not awkward, it's Allah, you really want gentlemen, you gotta pay a bit. If I offered you
Subhanallah an amount of money for a job, we will do it. Depending on how big the amount is. Allah offering you something that is bigger than anything you can imagine. And you can't even just get up, pray and go back to sleep if you really want to that for Allah, see your family see your home becoming a happy home, because you put a lot at the beginning.
Then the second part of the narration the one was develop your relationship with Allah The other one was your character and conduct because that Allah has
created everything else, your relationship with all those things, watch it,
develop it. That's your agenda, just those two things.
How you are with Allah and how you are with everything else. That's it, your agenda. Sounds nice and easy, isn't it? Well, law he you've got to work on your heart to start with, you've got to cleanse yourself. Take out the jealousy, take out the malice. Take out the envy. Take out the love. You know, everyone loves nice things. But when the love for worldly items become so high, you want it by hook or crook and both hooking and cooking are not allowed.
Right? It's not allowed. You can't cook. I mean, I want this What am I going to do? I'm going to pinch you. When we were young, there was a saying beg, borrow or steal. You know what? You can't get to steal, come on.
And begging is not dignified, especially when you are a person who's able. Allah has given you capabilities. When you see a person begging in a normal big fit. Imagine Have you ever seen a guy like big muscles and from the gym and he's big?
I'd give him a slap. Well, actually, I won't he might slap me back, you know.
But my brothers and sisters develop let's develop ourselves. Many of us are lacking in character. We are Muslims. We are an embarrassment to Islam. A lot of the times we our dealings are not honest. And then we're looking for happiness. Sometimes the way we talk to people full full of swear words, I promise you we can eradicate that we can do without it. It doesn't need to be there. You want to happy home use respectful terms. Talk to people with love with care with respect in your home. Listen to them, help them through their problems. Your child might come to you and tell you the most absurd thing on earth. That's your child that's your Amana. You need to help the child you need to
have hope. You need to understand it's easy for someone else to tell you excommunicate the child kick the child out of the home and we're lucky we did happen to them. They didn't do that. They did the opposite. Why were we foolish to listen to someone else? It's my home.
Allah grant us is
you we want happiness. We're not we're searching for contentment. I promise you Islam has
With so much of ease, a lot of the people actually don't follow it. They think they do. That's why we say don't judge a book by its cover. Sometimes you see people looking Mashallah tabarrok. Allah, they look like they're extremely pious, Subhan Allah and then Allah tests everyone
with different types of tests. When a lab tests you with certain tests, it's on your level, you're going to need to ask yourself, you know what, this is a test from Allah, I need to pass it. It doesn't mean because I look outwardly pious that suddenly I'm going to pass all my tests, then shapen attacks your heart by doing what?
missing it becoming dirty, you start belittling people. That's why when you see a person who's who's really close to Allah, one of the one of the clearest signs of the closeness to Allah is that your heart is softened. You feel mercy towards others. That's from the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi salam.
fabby. mera Mati Mina, LA, de la home, it is because of the mercy of Allah, that you are lenient towards everyone. You're not hard hearted. You're not harsh. That's a sign of the mercy of Allah. When you're really close to Allah, you become a soft person, in the sense that you care for others, you have mercy. You look at others as Mashallah good people, you try and look for the good in them, help them up on their feet. When you notice something bad you care for them, you speak to them in a nice way. You really want them to correct that.
But when you see yourself beginning to fulfill Salah, beginning to become a practicing Muslim, if your heart begins to dislike all other people, shaytan has gotten a stronger grip of you than he had prior to you having thought that you were practical, you were practicing. You follow what I'm saying?
It happens to a lot of young brothers and sisters, we start practicing after 20 years of misguidance 40 years, 50 years of misguidance we start practicing. And that very moment we start practicing we look at our own bodies, as people who are total gunners, but you are gonna just yesterday to see
where is the mercy. If it took you 50 years to move, it might take them 60 might take them 70 you want them to move in five minutes, brother come here or you're a straight over. Take it easy. Talk to them nicely. If a man turns to Allah or a woman
upon his or her deathbed, it's not too late for as long as the governor hasn't come to them. Just prior today they are death they made the Toba and they said the Prophet sallallahu Sallam told his uncle on his deathbed called Kalamata Aloha, juliaca, Bihar Yeoman tiamo, my uncle, just say the Shahada and I will fight your case on the Day of Judgment Subhana Allah that was near the end. So even if someone spent their entire life in a specific way, it doesn't mean they ended that way.
England was playing New Zealand the other day. Was it New Zealand? No, it wasn't
to South Africa.
At the beginning who was winning?
England was winning. They were excited everyone was coming home.
SubhanAllah What happened? The beginning of the match means nothing. You could have started your life in any way. How bad you were at the beginning means nothing. When the whistle was blown. What was the score? Sorry, I know it's embarrassing. That's okay. You don't need to say it right. But what I mean is in your life it's the same you can be as terrible as you were for 15 years 15 minutes in other words right of the match last few minutes you started one try to try three tries a good to hear another good kick there. And what happened? Well, we won we picked up the cup The same thing happens in our lives. You started off maybe in a bad way Don't lose hope keep on working. keep on
trying. You know, I was watching I won't take the names of these countries because some of them some had a lot they might be offended but there was a team losing 50 zero
right? You think it's a joke? It's not
and I was surprised to see how enthusiastically they were playing as though they were going to make a change. So panel they should have just told the guys we sitting here just make it more breaker record. 100 zero, it's okay. But they were so enthusiastic. They were playing like they couldn't believe it.
So hard Allah
that's motivation for me, man. Subhan Allah no matter what, no matter how bad you're doing, just keep going. One day inshallah who knows hit the jackpot. May Allah grant us ease during the match. That's what life is. Don't lose hope in the mercy of Allah. You're a good person, don't you think? Who thinks that they're really so evil and not worth even living?
If anyone's made you think that way a lot tells you that's wrong.
We are the ones who gave you life, us that life to come close to us because ultimately, the whistle shall be blown. You're going to come back to us anyway.
When you come back, you did your best, you know, Allah's mercy is such that when we get back to Allah and he sees us questions as for as long as we worshipped Him alone, for as long as we tried our best, Allah says, I may wipe out through my mercy, whatever you have done in your life, and still give you paradise without reckoning, if I wish. So
Why lose open the mercy of Allah. My brothers and sisters, that happy home will not be a happy family. If it's void of prayer, if it's void of Salah if it is void of obedience to Allah, try your best. Speak with respect. Spend time in the home, sit with your family members, talk to them, help them, empower them, say good words to them. And that's the way we will be improving.
Become a role model in your own home.
help the people ask yourself what they want to achieve. Is it okay in the eyes of Allah? Yes, let it happen. I will stand I'm the man of the house.
Subhana Allah, you know what?
Those of us who have children, it's a big responsibility to get them married. What do I
one of the biggest downfalls in the house.
People are saying, you know, I've got children, they were so good, they were all lovely, Mashallah my daughter, my son, etc, what a lovely person, they grew old, they became such, now the guy is 25 years old, he hasn't ever, ever done anything wrong within the home. But you know what he wants to marry someone totally out of our culture, our caste.
So that's the first thing they doing wrong in your life.
Meet the person who do they want to marry, meet them, talk to them, see them, give them time of the day, respectfully, they may just be the parent through whom you will become a grandfather or mother
Meet them, talk to them. Don't think like Subhana, Allah, the world has not progressed it has, it's moved in leaps and bounds, the globe has changed and it is changing every minute. If you're not going to live up to it, you're going to have a very, very sad life. within the confines of what Allah has taught, you will progress.
You need to change your thinking you need to understand is diversity on Earth. Some of our best friends don't belong to our culture or race. And they are very close friends to ask ask yourself, will you allow your child to marry the child of this person? If the two of them really want to marry some people say no way? No way, not over my dead body?
Well, then I will say well, then over you're alive body.
Yeah, that's what it is. You have to learn, you have to understand, we are suffering. I've been facing these cases for many years. And I don't know what to do about it anymore. I have people who are friends of mine, they don't see the light. And I say my brother, do you know what? Learn to think, man learn to think the world has changed, everything has happened, perhaps this person will be the best for you. You're living in an environment that is cosmopolitan, the whole dunya is here. How can you be so narrow minded, that's why there's no happiness in your home. And some people will swear, no, they can do it after I die. But for what
I'm going to tell you something else, you know, I've seen people who don't mind their kids not being married, but you're not going to marry who you want.
So hon Allah, like I said, Bring your parents into your confidence. They are important people in your lives, talk to them from the very beginning. Don't do everything and then come and try and holla lies things at the end of the day. You know?
The guy says, I'm going to ask my dad. So I asked him, What if your dad says no, this is what I'm still going to do it then why are you bothering asking your dad? You see what I'm saying? That's your father and listen to what he has to say. So while I'm telling the parents to go easy on their children, I'm also telling the children understand who's your father, understand who's your mother? It's a balance. I can't just give it one way. Because sometimes the others are wrong. Sometimes your father has a valid reason. Look, this guy, you're blinded. You're blinded, you cannot see. This is what it is a B, C, if the man has a valid point, it's okay. I've had some cases like that. When the
father says Look, this is what it is. Is it okay?
And I have to be quiet because obviously I can't guarantee happiness. I can't guarantee contentment. I got to say Look, I don't know. Maybe
do I see? May Allah forgive us? My brothers and sisters it brings me to a very, very powerful point. How many of us call out to Allah and make dua supplicate to him to give us a happy family.
Marsha, Mashallah there are a few hands that have come up. Call out to Allah regularly Oh Allah grant us happiness, grant us contentment Oh Allah guide me or Allah make what makes you happy, easy for me to fulfill. Make what makes you angry or what displeases you, easy for me to stay away from me call out to Allah.
Allahu mcqueeney behala Lika and harami cavallini before bellicon Mansi work powerful, Oh Allah make hallelujah so sufficient for me that I don't need to go into haram and I won't go into haram and grant me independence through your virtue such that I never need to beg from anyone else. What a powerful draft. It was made by the prophet Muhammad peace be upon him. Yet he never ever would have ever committed some haram never. But that is for us to learn. Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam best of creation most noble of all prophets of Allah, highest in rank.
Why did he make the dua to teach us that's it. To teach us ask Allah Oh Allah make me happy with Helen. So I don't have to go in. ask Allah every day. Allah make me happy with Allah so that I don't have to go to Harlem. The next time you think of Haram, Allah will create an obstacle, something will happen. You're going towards Haram, you have a puncture, you're going towards something big Haram, you made an accident.
When you made an accident, what you do say Alhamdulillah Why? If you're a true Muslim, you know where you were going, right? You know, what did Allah do?
You're not gonna do that. So what are you going to do? Make you have an accident? law? What are you witnessing? That's the last power. That's why we say not every negative that we look at as negative is actually negative. Sometimes it's the most positive thing that you could ever have had. thank Allah for it. Allah kept you away from something. And that's the power of Allah. So make dua to Allah.
The pursuit of sha Allah subhanho wa Taala. In fact, it's
suited for can in the Spirit of God, Allah subhanho wa Taala talks about certain prayers that are made by those who are close to Allah. One of them is
robina habarana mean as Gina
Gina Kanata and Yun
tokina EMA O Allah
O r. m.
Grant us we're asking Allah subhanho wa Taala
have Lehner grant for us, from our spouses and our children, our family members, those who are the coolness of our eyes. When you look at them, you're so happy. When you look at them, you just don't get full Mashallah you need to look again, you need to look again. So Han Allah, imagine a guy married for 20 years following his wife just looking at her face and smiling. La ilaha illAllah.
That is real. That is real, Mashallah, what's wrong with it, when you do something like that, it's actually an a bother you made someone feel worthwhile. With as they develop the wrinkles on their faces, you adored them more, you made them feel worthwhile, you know what, if she is aging, you're aging to Subhan Allah, you're aging to, you need to look you need to appreciate, you need to acknowledge you need to say good words. Try it out at home today.
And you can invite us for the webinar tomorrow.
What I mean is, you know,
it will be so appreciated, a lot of us lack romance in our homes, the profits or salon talks about it. You know, I've had people come to complain, saying, you know, what, we haven't been intimate in two years. And I'm like, gosh, man, you know, what's going on here? You have to make an effort. My brothers, my sisters. Do you know the Sahaba of the Allahu anhu when they were told
to consider cotton to be intimate with your spouse is an act of worship, and an act of charity. They were also looking and they wanted to ask a question. So Allah, they said, O Messenger.
And you know, you know, you mean I'm going to just fulfill my sexual desire and I'm going to get a reward for it. You know, there was no embarrassment i'm i'm actually honored to be speaking in the house of Allah about what the mess
Peace be upon him said. He said, Hey, if you were to put your organ in harm, would you get a sin? They said yes. Well, if you put it in halaal you'll get a big reward.
There was no embarrassment. He spoke about it. ibadah
one day May Allah grant this man gentleman he passed away one of the Imams in one of the massages back at home in South Africa.
The man was slightly late
for Salah to slightly late a few like a few minutes now you know what happens with the Imams? Normally you have the people behind the roll, hey, you late, too late, he got up. He said brothers Don't. Don't pick on me. I was engaged in another act of worship.
He says I've come from a bother to ibadah
It's a fact.
And you know what? Those who understood knew what he was saying.
And he said it. And nobody did say a word from that day. He was the hero of all the youngsters.
They said the man is old but it's not cold.
Grab the seats.
We talking of a happy family? Well, like I've told you, I've given you quite a bit. Obviously, we won't be able to say everything. But we've spoken about a lot, including intimacy. It's very important with the right people, many people commit haram and for that reason, they are blinded about their own spouses. You know, when we say the I love us, and I adore us and we send these messages that we're embarrassed to show our own spouses because we're sending them to the wrong people will lie. If you were to use half of those haram messages in a halal way, you'd have the happiest family. Follow what I'm saying.
And as we grow older, see more.
Appreciate your spouse, they sacrificed a lot for you.
So Panama, I remember the guy saying well, you know my wife is a bit out of shape. SubhanAllah. Brother, you look like a pair. Are
you worried about what your life looks like? Are you worried about what you look like? It's like the guy telling his wife, you know what?
Your bill is a bit big. She says, I know I'm about to be a mother. What about yours speak as well. He says when I'm about to be a father.
We must take pride in what we look like yes, we must our own health, our own goodness, yes, the spouse included yours You wouldn't like you know,
to waste yourself.
But at the same time, you need to sometimes understand it takes a while some people perhaps they've given you four or 532 children, one after the other so panela and then when the children came you know what you would disinterested in this woman or disinterested completely for word. That's when the A bada comes into play, think about why the prophets or Sallam said that to us imagine I'm sitting and thinking that must have been must be the number one. It must have been some much more sacred place Mecca or Medina. It can't have been a third place. It was probably Medina. In fact, if we look back at it, it was in Medina.
Imagine they were saying that? What was that all about? The ingredients of a happy family? Towards a happy family you need to know say good words to your children. Tell them how much you love them. No matter how old you are. I had a 65 year old uncle come to me in one country that I I said, tell your children you love them. He came he said, How can I do it? I haven't done it in so many years. I've never done it. I said go and try
and try and
just tell them look, I just want to tell you guys, I love you. I really love you. You mean so much to me.
So hon Allah. I was hoping that I was there the following day to see the face of that uncle, but I wasn't. I wasn't I would have loved to come back with what happened thereafter, perhaps one day, but we need to say that, especially this age, there are others who are saying it in a fake way. When you say it in a genuine way, you've actually filled a void. Then your children will be able to pick up the fake from the genuine pick it up. But you've never said it. So what happens the first person who says it skipped a beat. The guy is just using you man.
The guy's just using you and you skipped a beat. You know why you skipped a beat? That's it. So para la because you've never heard those words from anyone and you'd have.
But he's been telling that to all the girls he sees. Then what they've skipped beats so much that had you added those skipped beats people would have died of heart attacks.
My brothers and sisters May Allah grant us goodness and happiness. I've spoken for exactly an hour.
And I asked Allah to accept from us a few words I pray that whatever we've said number one we develop our relationship with Allah, the Quran
with Salah with with goodness try and do things that please Allah, not just one day two days, it's a determination. It's a dedication. You see you purify your life. Islam has a lot of rules a lot of regulations. Do you know why? It wants to purify you keep you as clean as possible, as happy as possible and inshallah it has a lot of goodness. Definitely. And so follow it as best as you can. You will see the goodness coming. Learn to respect others. Learn to respect the people, your own family members, talk to them, communicate with them, open your heart to them, help them help them to achieve anything they want to achieve for as long as it's not Haram, let it be, Allah will guide
Allah will open the rest of the doors of the entire oma. Today we're struggling, each one is pulling towards himself. And that's it. Let's learn to be together care for each other. Aku kolyada sallallahu wasallam Oh Baraka Allah, Nabina Muhammad Subhan Allah Subhana Allah homovanillic a shadow Allah, Allah Allah