Channel: Mufti Menk
Series: Mufti Menk - Social Conduct
Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa Salatu was Salam O Allah Allah.
Allah Allah Ameen. Nabina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa but my dearest listeners, it is a great day a day from amongst the days of the month of Ramadan. How fortunate are we to be in this month of Ramadan? Allah subhanho wa Taala grants it to us every year. So that we can ponder over what we do for the sake of Allah subhanho wa Taala we should always seize the opportunity of this month of Ramadan to become better people. inshallah, inshallah I will be discussing a topic, the social conduct of a Muslim.
The reason we have chosen this topic is the oma, as it stands today is sliding into many difficulties. And the oma needs urgent attention. If we notice the youth around us, if we actually notice how they handle themselves and their social conduct, it is deteriorating as time goes. It is actually becoming more and more difficult for us to put up with our own Muslims brothers and sisters. For this reason, we should understand Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has taught us everything he has taught us how to live within the home, how to live with Muslims, how to live with non Muslims, how to speak and everything else. inshallah, within the next few weeks, we will be
discussing topic by topic, how to live and how to conduct oneself as a Muslim. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us the ability to be Muslims who are exemplary Muslims who can be looked at and give others the feeling that they too would like to be Muslims. I mean,
if we take a look at the topic, social conduct, it is a very broad topic. Let me mention a little bit of what it includes. We have Firstly, and I'm going to start with this intentionally, we have firstly the relationship between the husband and wife. This is a very, very important relationship, there are certain rules certain regulations governing how the husband should treat his wife, and how a wife should treat her husband, how they should speak to one another, how they should address each other, etc. Allah subhanho wa Taala has taught this to us through Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. In fact, the Quran itself has so many examples of how husband and wife should be living
with one another. That is probably the cornerstone of society because if a husband gets along with his wife, if they speak properly, if they spend time with each other, if they are happy, then obviously the day Allah subhanho wa Taala grants them offspring and children may Allah subhanahu wa taala grant us all good and pious offspring and children. The day that happens, you will find that this child that Allah subhanho wa Taala has brought into the world through these parents will actually be afforded an upbringing that will be very healthy, especially in terms of conduct. Look at a home where the husband and wife are swearing at each other on a daily basis. They don't look
eye to eye, they don't get along with each other. They are complaining at every moment. How do you expect the child to grow up in that home the child will probably know all the swear words and use them. The child will probably become very arrogant, the child might become very moody. All this is taught to us by the prophet of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, it really does brush off on the children. And we need to understand this. This is why there is a great sacrifice in marriage, we need to understand not only should we be living happily with our husbands and our wives, for the sake of our own contentment, but it should also be for the sake of the children. Remember, bringing
up children is no joke, especially in today's society and environment throughout the world. There are so many feet and so many difficulties, the environment has become so bad, the social levels of people has actually deteriorated to bring up children in such an environment is not easy. And if we are not going to facilitate for the children within the home, that they have an environment whereby they can actually learn a thing or two. Where do we expect that child to learn from this is what we will be looking at as well. So the husband and wife relationship is very closely connected to the parent child relationship as well. Remember, sometimes what happens in
The home and we inshallah we will discuss it as the time passes. Sometimes what happens is when the wife and husband do not get along, one of them gets closer to the children and actually makes the child hate the other. This is totally prohibited in Islam, this is totally forbidden and this will result in the child's thinking being warped, the child needs both mother and father. So, remember if you have difficulties within yourself, within yourselves as husband and wife, you should understand that let those difficulties not brush off on to the children who are innocent, then inshallah we will make the circle a little bit larger, we will move on to the relationship now with the uncles,
the aunts and the other family members. In fact, we will go even beyond that to the relatives, the blood relatives, and the in laws, how Allah subhanho wa Taala has prescribed. You know the manner of living with our in laws, whether it is a daughter in law, a son in law or whether it is mother in law, father in law, the brothers and sisters in law, Allah subhanho wa Taala has defined the relationship remember one thing Yes, there are rights that need to be fulfilled that is one thing but over and above those rights. You know if we are going to become too hard and fast about the rights, what will happen is we will be living on edge It is like a person who only reads his father
Salah he's only interested in reading his photo Salah in that case what will happen is if there is any knock Hassan or any minus points in that photo Salah if there is any shortcoming in the photo Salah it will be regarded as a shortcoming and the person will probably get a lesser reward. However, if a person continues and reads his sooner and Noah Phil as also the loss of Allahu Allahu wa sallam has taught us What does soon and nothing do. It actually covers up and compensates for the little shortcomings in the form of Salah. Let's say for example, and this is just a way of putting it I'm going to put it in this way just to understand. Let's say for example, a person read Aisha
Salah the father was for cuts. So a person read for accounts, but his concentration levels were so low that in essence, it was regarded as three rackets let's just say that. So yes, they did for a cause but because the concentration was so low, or they did something slightly wrong in their Salah, which they didn't even pick up. So if it's regarded as three rockets in terms of reward, what Allah subhanho wa Taala will do is if that person has read sooner and nephele Allah subhanho wa Taala will ask the angels to actually fulfill the the last record meaning the reward of that fourth record, so that it can become a complete form of Salah. Now, this is what we need to understand. Now, as soon
as I know when Noah Philo to come milonakis on alpha, according to what we have learned. The sooner and nephila Salah fulfils all fools the gaps and the shortcomings of the pharaoh the Salah. Now similarly, when it comes to a relationship, if we are only going to look at our rights and our rights one day we may be infringing the rights of others oh we may be asking something a little bit too much. But if we are going to be a little bit broad minded and we are going to accommodate certain things and certain issues and inshallah you will understand what I am trying to get to inshallah, as the days passed, if we are going to be more accommodating you we should understand it
will be more rewarding for us in the eyes of Allah we will be become better people, even in the eyes of fellow human beings, we will become an example we will become an asset within our families and asset within society and asset to the oma an asset to all the creatures of Allah subhanho wa Taala. So inshallah, we will look at certain rights that Allah subhanho wa Taala has prescribed and Allah has allowed us and we will also go beyond the rights and look at those factors which builds society, you know, sometimes you need to give a little bit more and sometimes you need to take a little bit less in order to build society. Allah subhanho wa Taala will become pleased with you if you do that.
And Allah subhanho wa Taala will grant you so much Baraka and so much happiness in your life, may Allah grant that to us at all times. Then inshallah we will move on to general Muslims, the public, you know, how we speak to them, how we walk in society, when we are going to town when we are going to the masjid when we are going any way we are going to school to drop off the children, whatever we are doing, how should we handle ourselves as Muslims, you know, with the general public, the general Muslim public. Similarly, the business dealings that we have with the Muslims, how should we conduct ourselves, Allah subhanho wa Taala has prescribed rules and
regulations in this regard, and we should understand that whenever there is a difficulty, whenever there is a problem, whenever there is a situation, how are we going to solve that problem? How are we going to live in that situation? It is Allah subhanho wa Taala, who has taught us how to solve problems. Take a look at the lives of the prophets of Allah salallahu alayhi wasallam Allah subhanho wa Taala be pleased upon all of them, if you take a look at the lives of the prophets of Allah, you will find that every single one of them had problems, problems in the sense people were making life difficult for them. Today with us, it has to happen, every single one of you every single listener,
I am sure there is someone in your life who is making your life a little bit difficult according to you. Now, depending on how you react, that is how you will be able to live or that is how you will be able to accommodate or solve that problem. Meaning you might be able to tolerate a certain problem if it is light. And sometimes if you cannot tolerate it, you will have to react in such a manner that you solve the problem and not create two out of one or 10 out of nothing.
So all this is taught to us by Allah subhanho wa Taala through the lives of the beloved prophets of Allah May peace be upon them all. Then inshallah we will make the circle even larger and we will move on to the general treatment of non Muslims. Today there are certain categories of non Muslims around us. Yes, we go out into the marketplace, most of our dealings happen to be with non Muslims. If you have a shop, for example, most of the people who will come into your shop will be non Muslims. How do we treat them? How do we talk to them? Similarly, even those who don't come into our shop, but those whom we go out to when we are on the streets when we are? Let me give you a typical
example that you pull up your car and you happen to stop at a red light at a red traffic light. next to you there are people they are non Muslims, you don't know them, they don't know you, how should you handle yourself with them? If they pass a derogatory comment if they make a sign at you, how should you react to these reactions? We need to learn them and we need to teach them to our children. We need to become people who think before we act, we need to become people who know how the prophets have reacted May peace be upon them all. And let us learn something from the lives of these prophets of Allah. May Allah be pleased with us and with them as well. Because if we are going
to read the story of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam his entire lifetime, and the story of the other of let's say, for example, mohalla his Salatu was Salam. The stories of the other NBS alayhi wa salatu wa sallam, what do we learn from these stories? There are so many things that we learned because they live the complete lives. They also had to mix. They also have to go to the marketplace. A verse comes into my mind where the kuffaar actually mentioned, about Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. The Quran says regarding what the kuffaar said, at the time, were called Mali Havasu Li yaku Tama William Sheila swacch. They said, What is it with this prophet? He is a
prophet, and he eats food that we eat and he walks into the markets that we walk into Lola en de la la semana con, una una de la. Why did Allah subhanho wa Taala? Or could Allah subhanho wa Taala not send an angel so that the angel could be with him as a warner or the angel could assist him etc, etc. So Allah subhanho wa Taala later on in that very Surah Surah upon Allah mentions Rama arson cabela caminando Selena inhome la coruna.
Allah subhanho wa Taala is comforting Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and he's saying, look, every single prophet we have sent before you they also used to eat food and they also used to go into the marketplaces. Now, let us take it a step further. When we go into the marketplace, how are we going to handle ourselves? And now we need to go into the seed of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam see what he said about the marketplace? See what he said, when should you go to the marketplace and if you go to the marketplace, how should you handle yourself? All this we need to know. Similarly, there is a hadith where Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says iya Kemal julu
Sophie procart Be careful beware Be warned of sitting sitting on the pathways of people. And when the Sahaba of the Allahu anhu asked the Prophet of Allah Rasool Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam sometimes we need to sit, then the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said if you need to really sit, then you should fulfill the right of that pathway. And they were told what is the right of the pathway and inshallah we will go through that if Allah subhanho wa Taala permits. So how to handle yourselves with Muslims and with non Muslims at times of ease and at times of difficulty.
Now, every single moment of your life you are mixing with people, every single moment of your life you are connected to someone whether it is in the home, outside the home, in the car, at your workplace, at the school, wherever it is, there are other people who are there. So, the rules that govern your mannerisms, your your conduct, Subhana Allah, Allah subhanho wa Taala has actually dictated them to us he has shown them to us in different ways. Sometimes you will find a direct command from Allah kulu colon sadita for example, when you speak say that which is upright, clear, straight through, don't lie etc. So that is a clear cut command from Allah subhanho wa Taala.
Sometimes you will find it will be within a story. For example, you will find the story of a prophet of Allah subhanho wa Taala and how he spoke to his people in that story, they may not be a direct command from a lot to us to say look, this is how you must speak. But there is a lesson in that story for us, because Allah subhanho wa Taala says la katakana few kasasa him Eva Ratan Lal Bab that indeed in the stories of the prophets of Allah subhanho wa Taala May peace be upon them all. There are lessons for those who have intellect. This means that if we have intellect, we should read the stories and learn something from these stories. Then inshallah we will move on to the general
behavior. You see today are thinking how should we be thinking as Muslims, when we see something, how should we register it? How should we react to it? How should we think when we meet people, how should we actually accept them in our hearts? When a person is a Muslim? How should we look at him or her, when a person is a non Muslim? How should we look at them? So our general behavior our manners also, inshallah we will discuss? Similarly, we must understand that, as Muslims, we need to be a mercy to all the creatures of Allah subhanho wa Taala. When we say social conduct, yes, we may be speaking about fellow human beings. But remember something, it goes beyond that as well. The
other creatures that you have around you, how do you handle them? There are two types of creatures. Generally, one those creatures that are harmful, the other those creatures that are not harmful, then from amongst those creatures that are not harmful, they are those that are domesticated, and May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us the ability to be an asset to all his creatures. Remember when there is a spider in your home? What does the hadith of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam teach? When there is a B? How should you kill it? If you would like to kill it? When can you kill it? When should you not kill it? For example, if there is a snake in your home? How should you handle
yourself with that snake? How should you kill it? When should you kill it? What should you do? All this is taught to us by Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. Similarly, when it comes to the cats and the other animals that we may have that are domesticated those animals that are permissible to have How should we feed them? How should we treat them? How should we be with them? Let's say we have a horse we have cows, we have a donkey, for example, or we may be having goats, the time of Kobani inshallah is coming close of a few months after Ramadan, we will then be purchasing the sacrificial animals. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us the ability to sacrifice animals for his
sake and May he accept it from us. So when we have these animals, how should we actually go about handling and treating these animals in the most humane manner, the most? Meaning the most beautiful manner is taught to us by Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in a hadith he actually tells his companions fear Allah regarding these animals that cannot speak, the animal cannot speak. So when you put a load on a camel or a donkey, remember what how many kgs are you putting onto it? Subhana Allah who would have taught us this besides Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So what we learn from this is Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam taught us in turn, we need to teach our children
we need to teach the oma of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Let's ask ourselves as parents, how many of us have actually taught our children set with them and said, You know, when you speak to others, you must smile at them. You must talk to them nicely. Even if someone speaks to you harsh, you might not know who that person is. Sometimes you might know. But tomorrow that person might regret what they are doing, and they might turn back because of the manner in which you spoke. But if you did not speak well, what will happen it will plunge you further into disarray and it will drive them further away from you. In that case, we will not be solving the problems of the oma and
as I said at the beginning of this program, the oma needs urgent attention and the oma is sliding into many difficulties the oma is sliding beyond
In our own imagination, and part and parcel of the problem is we don't know how to handle ourselves. inshallah, then we will go further. And we will speak about how to talk how to walk the business dealing solving problems, the social activities within the Muslim community, even if you have social activities outside the Muslim community, for example, someone is a member of a Cricket Club, how should he handled himself with the other cricketers who are with him, who may not be Muslims. This is all taught to us by Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam directly and indirectly depending on what it is. Similarly, when it comes to taking part in the Muslim communities activities, how should
we do that? When it comes to solving disputes? How are we meant to be solving disputes? Look, there are certain disputes that are on a very, very closed level. When I say closed level, I mean, within the home, may Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us the ability to solve all sorts of problems within the home. And that is a problem of a different nature. If you have a problem with your neighbor and that opens a whole new door, how to treat your neighbor how to talk to him, how to invite him towards Islam, those who work for you, your work is everything this is included in the teachings of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. So, when you have a problem with your neighbor, for example,
how should you handle yourself? There are many ways of handling yourself How should you approach this person Listen, there is this problem should I keep quiet about it? Or should I approach them if I do approach them? Should I scream and shout or should I be calm and collected about it? And depending on how you speak, this is how Allah subhanho wa Taala will either assist you to solve the problem or shavon might make you create many, many more problems. So inshallah, every day at this particular time, we will be going through various issues regarding the social conduct of a Muslim and we ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to benefit us inshallah, from this program, we ask Allah subhanho
wa Taala to grant us the acceptance and we ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to make us from amongst those who are indeed the best of Muslims, or sallallahu wasallam albaraka and Amina Muhammad was Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.
salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa Salatu, Salam ala rasulillah, ala alihi, wa sahbihi, wa Amanita who who are my dear listeners, indeed it is a gift from Allah subhanho wa Taala that we are from amongst the followers of this beautiful religion of Islam. Islam has taught us everything, there is nothing that Allah subhanho wa Taala has forgotten to teach us, we are actually continuing with the topic of the social conduct of a Muslim, the general etiquettes the mannerisms, the behavior of a Muslim, how we as Muslims are meant to behave production we had actually mentioned that the cornerstone is the relationship between a husband and a wife. Let us
take a look at Adam Allah, his Salatu was Salam. When he was created, he was a man and he was a single man. He felt very lonely, he made dua to Allah subhanho wa Taala, to remove that loneliness from his life and Allah subhanho wa Taala answered that prayer of his that do out of his Allah subhanho wa Taala granted him Hawa, alayhi salatu was Salam as a gift. And for this reason we as men should always be looking at our wives as gifts from Allah subhanho wa Taala. If we understand that our wives our gifts, then we will be able to treat them in the proper and correct manner. Remember when Adam alayhi salatu was Salam was given Hawa Allah Salatu was Salam in marriage, basically, he
was so happy and he loved her so much. She loved him so much that nothing went wrong. In fact, they knew Adam alayhis salam knew hawala salatu salam knew that they would not tell or order or Command one and other to do anything that would be detrimental to their well being. And this is why shaytan sees the opportunity when he saw they were very close. He then misled them, and when he misled them, neither one of them asked to the other or told the other or reminded the other to say listen, let's not do this shaytan is telling us to eat from the forbidden fruit. Let us not do this, because they knew that they would not do anything to each other that would be harmful to each other or to the
other party. But shaytaan May the curse of Allah be upon shavon la isla de la shavon actually planned and plotted and shaytan got them trapped. For this reason what we have to learn from this is whenever we are living meaning
within the home between husband and wife, we should always check what we are doing, we should always assist one another remind one another look the way you are dressing is wrong. The way you are speaking is wrong or this is correct let us make sure that we develop this good habit of ours etc. This is what will result in our upliftment. On the other hand, obviously, if an error has been made a mistake has been made, we should be very quick in rectifying it. Look at Adam alayhis salatu salam with Hawa alayhi salatu was Salam. When the sin was committed, immediately they turned to Allah subhanho wa Taala or benevolent Susana ilam toffee Lana, Lana coonan Amina hos earring, I'm sure we
have heard this. So many times they do have Adam alayhis salatu salam and his wife, where they said O r. o R Rahman, we have indeed transgressed against ourselves and if you are not going to forgive us, if you are not going to have mercy upon us, we are going to be from amongst the losers. So what we have to learn from this is that whenever we in whenever we actually fall into sin, may Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us all, we need to turn back to Allah subhanho wa Taala immediately promised him that we will not repeat that. Now, when it comes to the husband and wife relationship, we should understand that there is a requirement, and that requirement is that the husband should
respect his wife and the wife should respect her husband. If there is not going to be respect, what will happen. They will probably be living with one another. Similar to animals. May Allah subhanho wa Taala not do that to any one of us. You see, if we have a situation where the husband comes into the home, and he shouts at the top of his voice for everything he wants, what will happen? The first question is, how do you think it's going to brush off on the children? The second question, that wife of yours? How do you think she is going to handle it? How do you think she will treat you in return, she will also learn to scream and shout back at you. So we need to understand this. The same
applies on the other side, that if the wife is going to scream and shout, what does she expect? So Islam teaches us that look, you must respect one another when you speak, do not unnecessarily raise your voice, do not unnecessarily become angry. And if you do have to become angry, you must make sure that you cool off as soon as possible because when a person is angry, it is actually shaytan that is now running in the blood of this person. A hadith of Sharia law. She says the Prophet of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam did not used to get angry for anything unless obviously, Allah subhanho wa Taala His commands were being disregarded totally, then he would get angry for that. But
Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam when it came to himself, look at his life, what did people do to him? What did the community do to him, they troubled him, they tortured him, but he did not get angry at that he actually got angry when they disregarded the commands of Allah and made a joke of the commands of Allah subhanho wa Taala. So we should understand also, we need to live with our wives and our husbands, we need to live in such a manner that we do not have uncontrolled anger, shouting and screaming is not going to do the marriage any good. And remember, here we are speaking about social etiquettes. We are starting with this relationship because that is how the entire world
started meaning the human race started with a single men. Thereafter a single woman and their relationship obviously then developed later on, they had to, they had to come out of gentlemen of Paradise, they were actually booted out of there by Allah subhanho wa Taala. According to the narrations, they landed in separate places in different places. One narration actually says that Hawaii has Salatu was Salam landed in Jeddah and other Malaysian salatu wa salam landed in Sri Lanka what we know as today, so they spent quite a bit of time hunting for one another meaning they looked for one another. Now that period of separation gave them a time to ponder over the weaknesses to
ponder over what went wrong. And thereafter when they came back, the books of history have not recorded any problems after they were united. So meaning between them May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us the ability to solve our problems, the problems that we may be facing in our marriages. Now let us understand one thing, if we are going to sway let's take for example, the swear words that a person uses one is to swear your own wife. A man comes into the home and starts using abusive language. Firstly, his respect will be will decrease in the eyes of his wife, his wife will no longer respect him the way she used to. And if a wife comes and swears it's probably worse than a
male swearing because it is not a feminine quality at all. Sometimes
If you look at your face in the mirror and you swear, that face of yours actually changes the words don't suit your face. SubhanAllah Imagine if someone looked at you some people don't even know that we could actually swear May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us from using language that is forbidden language that is derogatory and language that is abusive. So if we are going to swear we will lose respect. The person whom we are swearing, they will never respect us again. And remember, sometimes people actually end up swearing their own children without realizing and to swear your own child at times can even be a doula against that particular child. You know, sometimes when the child does
something wrong, and I'm actually going to use the word because it is being used by a lot of people, and someone will actually say, you know, he's a swine, or Oh, Bella, how can you call your own child swine? May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us no matter what that child has done, that child does not deserve to be called that. Similarly, sometimes, you know, the child might be eating a little bit too much and we say you know, he eats like a pig or she eats like a pig. This is an Islamic it is behavior and it is language that is not acceptable in Islam, it will result in the downfall of the person who is doing it and is using that language. Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has
taught us that as Muslims, we should be careful what we say, either speak good, after that which is good or remain silent. Remember this tongue of ours, we recite the vicar of Allah subhanho wa Taala we gain closeness to Allah subhanho wa Taala through the tongue. We read the Quran through the tongue, we enter the fold of Islam through the same tongue, we actually that tongue Allah has said you should keep it wet and moist in the vicar of Allah subhanho wa Taala. How then can we use the same tongue, the same tongue that is meant to be getting us into Jana? Now we want to use that same tongue to sway and to sway our own wives and our own children and our own husbands May Allah
subhanho wa Taala protect us. So within the home, we need to be conscious of what we are saying what we are saying. And similarly how we say what we want to say that also Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has taught us, we need to think before we speak because everything we say, Allah subhanho wa Taala has the angels to record whatever we say, and it is going to be held either for us or against us. So remember this, you know, I always give the example of a person who is arrested. When a person is arrested, the policeman is supposed to be saying, you know, you have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be held against you in the court of law. And what happens? Then you
find when they asked him questions, or they asked her questions, he is silent or she is silent, because he says, You know, I need my lawyer I need to speak I will only speak when I have my lawyer because they know that if I say anything, it may be held against me. So hon Allah, Allah subhanho wa Taala has told this to us a long, long time ago to say, look, whatever you utter may be held against you in the court of Allah subhanho wa Taala on the day of the AMA, it may be held against you Why then do we not remain silent, why then do we not control these tons of hours and think about the law of Allah subhanho wa Taala and how we might be caught up in that law, if we are to abuse our
tongues, and if we are to say and just you know, blah, blah, whatever comes to our mouths without thinking. So, this is a very, very important aspect between husband and wife, do not sway one another, do not scream at one another Do not shout at one another, this will only result in the loss of respect and it will also brush off onto the children, many home you will find that within the home, the children are actually
or they speak according to the parents, if the parents have a very, very good way of speaking, if the parents are very polite, you find the children will be polite, if the parents are actually totally astray and they say whatever they want, they have no control over their tongues, you will find the children swearing also and where did the child learn how to swear? Well, the father swears as well. So, this is what we need to understand. You know, it is amazing how the etiquettes and how the mannerisms of the parents actually brush off onto the children. We will speak about that a little bit later. The second issue that we need to remember as husband and wife is that a marriage a
happy marriage is based on trusting one another we need to learn to trust one another. Every small thing must not make you doubt your husband or your wife you know he must be doing this or she must be doing this and why is he like this and why is she like that? This is from shavon this scheck and doubt that a person can have and a person does have at times it is from shaytan Allah subhanho wa Taala mentions in the Quran in surah 200 Allah says that most of meaning do not doubt one another because most of the doubting is actually incorrect. And the
is totally unacceptable. May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us from shock and from doubting. So, if you want to live happily, stop doubting your spouse. Yes, if you if there is a problem, discuss it properly discuss it, raise it in a very, very polite manner, and speak to them speak about it, you know, this is my concern. And once there is a clarification, that is enough, you should be satisfied. And that's it, don't go and dig it up again, etc, etc. May Allah subhanahu wa taala protect us from doubting one another. Another very important aspect when it comes to our marriages. And when it comes to the conduct with our husbands and our wives, is the fact that we, especially
the men, we need to make sure that we spend enough time at home, enough time with our wives enough time with our children. Many times we find that a person gets married, and after they get married, they still spend late hours of the evening and you know, early hours of the morning, they are still with their friends outside the home. What do they expect in that marriage? What do they want from that wife? Why did they get married in the first place? Remember when you marry and we always should be reminding one another about this, your wife, your husband, we become first class friends, first class friends, everyone else drops and slides down to second class. What that means is that we need
to give preference to our wives preference to our children preference to our husbands. This is where things will be heading in the right direction in Sharla. So even if it means people will talk bad about you, and they're going to say, you know this, this person here,
his wife controls him, his wife rules him so what so what if they pass those comments so long as you know that you are happy within your marital home? Alhamdulillah Allah valic. And so long as you know that within the limits of the law of Allah, you are within the limits of the law of Allah, there is nothing that you should be sad about. So people will pass comments, those comments shaytan will make you feel that you know what, I'm a man and I should do something about this. No, that's right. Let me show them that who's in control. We don't need to do all that you don't need to prove a point to people, you all you need to do is to make sure that in your home, you are happy. The same thing
would probably happen to a woman that sometimes her friends might tell her you know what, you've got to fix him up and you've got to do this to him and do that to him. These comments must not affect us, we must look at what Allah says not what our friends say. If Allah subhanho wa Taala says, look, try and solve your problems. And you need to try and sacrifice to solve a problem. It is not easy to solve a problem. When there is a problem. May Allah protect us from problems but when there is one, it's not easy to solve it. But Allah subhanho wa Taala gives us the opportunity to engage in the burden known as solving a problem. And we need to understand the advice we seek. are we seeking good
advice? Or are we seeking advice of those who don't have experience? When we seek advice we need to understand is the person whom we are asking firstly qualified enough to advise me secondly, do they have a genuine feeling for me? And will they advise will they advise me correct advice? Or are they going to give me the wrong advice? If they are going to give you the correct advice because you know, they have a genuine feeling for you, and they have knowledge and experience then inshallah they will give you advice within the limits of Allah subhanho wa Taala Normally, the advice given is a little bit better. And this is why sometimes when we go to the llama with some of our problems,
and the island will probably tell you You know what, you are wrong. And then we become upset and say, you know, I came to this island, trying to put forward my problem and he's telling me you are wrong. No, let me go to another island and you will go to another and the third and the fourth until someone tells you you are right. Now the one who tells you you are right is probably telling it to you to make you happy. That's it. But in reality if three four people have already told you the qualified people who have a genuine feeling for you, that listen you are wrong, most probably you are wrong, don't feel depressed. The fact that you are wrong, you need to do something about it, you
need to solve that problem you need to come out of it. So remember one thing it has learned to trust one another let us learn to spend time with one another. Remember quality time spent at home with the children is an act of worship. It is actually an a bother because it is your duty as a parent to look after your children. Allah has placed that duty on your shoulders. If you are not going to look after your children, Whom do you want to look after those children of yours. So remember, if it is a duty placed on your shoulders by Allah subhanho wa Taala when you are fulfilling it Are you not going to be rewarded? Obviously you will be rewarded. So whenever you spend time at home, remember
you will actually be earning rewards from Allah subhanho wa Taala May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us the ability to understand that as well. And then thereafter we should understand whatever we do as husband and wife must always be within the commands of Allah.
subhanho wa Taala we need to stay away from his prohibitions, let me give you some simple examples. Sometimes the way we dress in the home, the way we dress in the home is so inappropriate because what happens is, our children will look at us, and they will say, you know what, my mother dresses like this. And you know what my father does this. So they automatically from a very, very early age will try to dress how you dress. If you are dressed in a kurata, for example, your son will cry to be dressed in a quarter, and I'm sure so many of us have experienced this from an early age of two and three Subhanallah if you read Salah in the home, and I'm sure nearly every single home may have
experienced this, if you are regular with your Salawat and your Salah, you will find your child at a very early age will try to stand next to you and to read salah and you will find that Salah is that child in CG from a very, very early age. Now, on the other hand, if you are going to dress let's say for example, in a miniskirt and you are going to walk out of the home, that child will try to do the same also the day you want them to put a scarf on their head, they will probably not do that because you never ever did it. So they never ever saw you doing it. Now, you want them to do something that you never did. Now, the way forward is actually to dress appropriately from the very beginning
without telling your children anything, you will see what they do without commanding them without telling them they will feel shy to come out of the house without a scarf. From a very early age, they will see that my mother does this, my mother dresses with a proper, you know, the proper hijab and she walks out of the home, she has a scarf she wears a cloak or what have you islamically She is dressed automatically it will play on the conscience of this particular child from a very early age and the child will cry to actually be dressed in a similar manner. So remember one thing it's amazing Allah subhanho wa Taala has taught this to us. He has shown it to us. How many of us as I
mentioned a few moments ago, how many of us would actually see our children reading Salah trying to read Salah from an early age is that not a sign from Allah to say listen if you want you must lead by example we are showing it to you here with Salah but even the other things the way you speak the way you talk, how polite you are with others, how you smile with others, etc etc. All this will brush off onto the children and this is how we will actually develop the home. If the home is actually a home that is a happy home. Then what more do we want? We need to thank Allah subhanho wa Taala for that and inshallah, as the days go, we will go further we will look at certain rights
between the husband and the wife. And remember as I said yesterday, when it comes to the rights, we must understand if we are going to be hard and fast only about the rights It is like only performing and fulfilling foreign but we need to go beyond and engage in that which is sooner, that which is nothing etc etc In order to enhance the the harmony of the home. Allah subhanho wa Taala May He grant us happiness. We asked him at the end of this program to actually solve all our problems and to grant this oma success or sallallahu wasallam obata Karolina Bina Mohammed Subhana Allah He will be handy Subhana Allah home I'll be handy can shadow Allah Allah Allah antenna stove little corner