Ramadan 2023 Boost #04 – What Do Your Parents Mean To You?

Mufti Menk

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The importance of fulfilling rights for parents in Islam is discussed, emphasizing the need for guidance and support. The speaker discusses the need for parents to be kind and advised on their child's birth, which is not a choice. The discussion also touches on the issue of parents' desire to choose their child to be married, which is a cultural problem, and the importance of communicating with children early in life.

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So in Milan, you have a choice. You can choose to read the color like every Ramadan. But as soon as it comes, the Quran is abandoned, or you can get

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and join the challenge to create a habit at the same time.

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Salam aleikum, my brothers and sisters, your parents are probably the most important people in your lives, whether they're living or not. Remember, Allah Almighty says Wakaba rabuka Allah taboo. Illa? Yeah, the first declaration that he makes is none shall be worshipped besides Him. That is a declaration of Allah subhanho wa taala. And then he says, What will validate any asylum, and it is compulsory, obligatory, to be kind to your parents, to be kind to your parents. So Bill Wiley, Dany Sana, Allah makes mention of both parents while he then to mother and father. Now, this includes, like I said, those who are alive, those who have passed on those who are Muslim, those who are not

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those who are living together, those who are divorced, those who get on those who don't, those who've done good things, those who have done bad things, all of them, we need to fulfill their rights accordingly. Now, that's a very, very deep ruling. within Islam, it's one of the most important things. Why is it so important? And why do your parents have great value, if not one of the greatest values that Allah Almighty has created in terms of relationships? The reason is, Who made you ask yourself? Well, my maker made me Allah made me and what means did he choose for you to be brought onto this earth, you chose your parents, so he chose them, this is all part of your test,

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they may not be good people, you have to still fulfill their rights, they may be brilliant, they may let you do what ever you want to do, you still need to do what Allah permits you to do and what he has ordained. So you find some parents, they let their children do whatever they want. And we will tell my parents are cool, they're really good. You know, it doesn't make him good. Being cool doesn't always mean you're good. But where they kept teaching you and reminding you about what was right, in terms of what you're supposed to be doing on Earth. Yes, by all means. But if they didn't remind you, it doesn't mean that you've just got to fulfill whatever they're saying. Now, let's get

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back to the issue of fulfilling their rights. Number one, to be kind to them, kindness, be kind to your parent, the term son generally refers to kindness, I need to be kind, kind in the way I treat them. And as I grow older, they may become in need of me. Not just my prayers, but beyond prayers, maybe physically, maybe financially, maybe emotionally, morally, whatever else they might require my support in one way or another male or female. It's my duty to ensure that I've done whatever I can to make my parents comfortable and to let them live a life where they believe I was always kind to them. Now notice Allah didn't say you have to agree with them, nor does He say you have to obey them

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because obedience is for Allah, where they have asked you to do something that is against what Allah has asked you. Then there is no obedience. Two reasons one is Lapa Telemark Lupin Marcia valid, there is no obedience to the creation, when it comes to the disobedience of the Creator, be it your parents, or whoever else it may be. That's number one. Number two is Allah Almighty tells us law to prayer. Homer do not obey both of your parents. If they have asked you to do something that is in disobedience of Allah. We're in Jaha Dhaka Allah into Shrek Habima la Celica be here in one Fela to determine if they are striving towards making you worship that which is besides Allah, that you that

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you obey that or worship that which is besides Allah, Allah says, Don't listen to them. don't obey them in fact,

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and Allah says Sahiba Houma for dunya mahabhava still, you should remain in there good companionship on Earth. So be kind to them, feed them, clothe them, maybe give them an allowance, make sure they have good accommodation, look after them. Keep reminding

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In them about what's right and wrong if they need to be told, but in a beautiful way, this is the fulfillment of the rights of the parents. And remember, it does not mean that we should, if we are parents, if we are parents, it does not mean we should use that card to do whatever you want. Because my beloved parents, we are under the instruction of Allah. So as much as yes, I've spoken about the parents being the most important people in your lives, in terms of your relationships, indeed. But if you're a parent, it does not give you the green light, because I'm a father, I can do what I want. Because I'm a mother, I can say what I want to do what I want, what are you going to

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do, Allah has given me the authority he has it. Parents have not been just given a blanket authority, not at all. In fact, one thing that a lot of people are making a mistake with, and many young boys and girls come up with this issue. Culturally, in some cultures, the parents decide who the child is going to get married to, and that's it, and it's closed. It's not an Islamic thing. It's got nothing to do with religion. It's a cultural thing. In religion, the child has to be consulted. In fact, the adult has to be consulted, the person getting married, or the people getting married, have to be consulted, they have to be happy with whatever is being offered to them. If not,

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you offer them something else, you introduce them to something else, you give them an opportunity again and again. And this is something that keeps repeating itself, including today, I received an email from Pakistan, where someone was telling me I'm being forced against my will blackmail. My father says he will do this. And he will do that. And I have to get married to X, Y and Zed. You know what, what do I do? It's a cultural problem that you're facing. It's not got to do with religion, your father has no right at all to impose on his child. What the child does not want in terms of marriage, no ways no chance. May Allah subhanho wa taala. Forgive us. So people think this

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and some people try to use religious evidence to justify it. It's not correct. It's not true, not at all true. It is your choice, you have a right to say yes or no. And you should exercise that right. And nobody should be upset with you if you have exercised it. But parents are foolish when they have not communicated with their children from an early age and kept them in the loop and spoken to them and guided them. Because many children are also making a mistake of wanting to marry people who are not even fit to be their friends, let alone spouses. It's a fact of life. The person you're trying to get married to and you're trying to tell your parents to be happy with your choice is not even

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fit to be an acquaintance, let alone a friend or a spouse to make it worse. Why this you're blinded to their character, their conduct, their their entire direction in life the way they are, and who they actually are totally blind because you know what love is blind. In the day, you don't even see it's a crush. They call it a crush because why crushes you. Secondly, they say you fall in love. Why? Because you fall you injure yourself, you get hurt. That's what it is. Notice the words, the terms they use,

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are selected. carefully chosen is it hurts pains. And a lot of the times you know what, you make big blunders. So we're supposed to have a beautiful relationship. Father, Son, Father, daughter, mother, son, mother, daughter, and so on. We're supposed to have a good understanding Let's talk. It's communicate, it's given take, listen, today's world has new problems, talk about them, address them, given take see educate yourself to respond to be able to respond in a convincing fashion. So inshallah I pray that Allah Almighty grant this is the actual point that I wanted to raise in tonight's boost was your parents, your parents mean everything, serve them, look after them, give

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them feed them, clothe them, spoil them, do whatever they would like you to do to the best of your ability for as long as it is not in the disobedience of Allah. But remember, if they're unreasonable, you also have a right and the duty to correct them to guide them to tell them they are wrong is your duty. Ibrahim alayhi salam told his father My father, you are wrong Subhan Allah and Allah loved it so much that he mentions it in the Quran in more than one place. And his father threatened him and he played the father card on him. Didn't work. It didn't help. didn't help. Do you know why? This is what Allah is teaching us. That way they are wrong, they are wrong. Be there

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your father or your father's father? If they're wrong, they're wrong. So

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This is part of being kind to them is to correct them gently, and to continue to remind. But in the meantime, don't ever utter an abusive word. Don't ever use a swear word on your own parents. You're not supposed to be doing that to anyone anyway, your own parents, don't belittle them. If you have a misunderstanding, or even if you're correcting them do so in the most respectful was beautiful way Allah is watching. And I tell you, the most blessed of people on Earth are the ones who have fulfilled the rights of their parents. Look at them, and check how successful they are. listen to their stories, they look after their elderly parents, and they never ever give up. Sometimes you may

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have a problem with your spouse and your parents. It's okay you continue to fulfill the rights you're supposed to be fulfilling, even if you have to excuse your spouse from that. May Allah Almighty grant us all a deep understanding what wonderful days of Ramadan These are the days of reconciliation, make the most of this and Allah will open your doors salam ala Guatemala