Channel: Mufti Menk
Series: Mufti Menk - Ramadan 2006
Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.
smilla rahmanir rahim In the name of Allah, most Gracious, Most Merciful Alhamdulillah Allah Allah mean All praise is definitely due to Allah subhanho wa Taala creator of entire creation. Also Leo Salim ala nabina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi adjumani Nova complete blessings and salutations upon Beloved Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam blessings and salutations upon all his companions and all his followers. May Allah make us also from amongst them, and blessings upon our offspring who are to come in Sharla up to the day of the AMA, may Allah subhanho wa Taala make them from amongst the army who will be fighting together with a Salah is Salatu was Salam against the JAL I
mean, on the llama beloved brothers and sisters girIs listeners. Today we have a very beautiful surah that the women folk definitely need to look into. And so to the menfolk need to look into it is named after the women folk It is called Surah Nisa, for your information, and Nisa, meaning the women folk is a surah in the Quran. But there is no surah in the Quran called or named a regional which means the men. This shows us the importance of the women folk and the fact that at times,
they are unfortunately abused and their rights are usurped, and they are oppressed at times and the surah. If you look at the rules and regulations within the surah they are drawing the attention to all of us to say do not oppress women folk, because without them, the equation of reproduction would never be complete. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us understanding the opening verses Allah subhanho wa Taala highlights one of the most important roles of women. He says, Yeah,
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of people, be conscious of your ABA, who has created you from a single soul, male and female.
and thereafter he has caused your multiplication through this male and female.
And Allah subhanho wa Taala continues to say, Be conscious of your ABA and be conscious of the wounds that gave birth to you. According to one of the interpretations of the verse, our hammer, which means the wounds, that is the literal translation of the term of ham. be caught. Be conscious of the wounds that gave birth to you be conscious of the women folk. Be conscious of your relatives who are only related to you because of women, because the women gave birth to yourselves as well as those who are related to you. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us an opening. And for this reason, this verse is repeated according to the Sunnah of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. Whenever
there is a nikka that takes place or a Nika has officiated, it is the student not to repeat this verse, not to say fear aligned fear your relations, no fear Allah subhanho wa Taala be conscious of who is related to you and how they are related to you and be conscious of the wounds that gave birth to you. We all know the rank of the mother in Islam is very, very high and lofty. The mothers look after us when we are young. When had they left us we would probably have died. When we are so small, we are helpless. We scream and shout we need to be cleaned that mean cleansed and fed. And then when we grow old 18 2025 we divorce the same homes that gave birth to us. And I'm using the term divorce
because literally what happens a man gets married and next thing he kicks his mother out. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us the balance. And Allah subhanho wa Taala make our women folk who are mothers, also very merciful towards their daughters in law, because at times there is friction created solely because there is a tug of war when it comes to love. But remember, the love is not contradicting love. The love of a mother is totally different from that of a wife. And the two should never be in contradiction, but it is the man who is weak at times he cannot play the game of being a husband and a son at the same time. May Allah subhanho wa Taala make it easy for us. So
Allah subhanho wa Taala in the various
He speaks about one of the issues that many men are guilty of, what is the issue? He speaks of the often he says, what we
thought about hobbies, hobbies,
imagined the opening verses of the surah of women ally saying, Give the orphans, their wealth, who are the orphans here, the female child, when a person passes away what happens to the ladies, what happens to the women, what happens to the wives what happens to the mothers what happens to the sisters and the daughters? Many times we find that their shame is cut by some of the males. Sometimes people begin to say our father gave you when he was alive. Now you are out of the equation that is an Islamic or an Islamic statement. islamically unacceptable statement. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us understanding for this reason, the opening verses Allah subhanho wa Taala says,
watch out give the orphans their due when it comes to inheritance when it comes to wealth, and do not change their good wealth with your bad wealth. What happens we need to
value a certain property for purposes of distribution of the estate. What do the women folk know about that? Very little, in fact, sometimes nothing. So instead of a million rands, we tell them this is worth 100,000. They say whew, that's a large sum of money, not realizing it's only one 10th of the real value. It happens. Allah subhanho wa Taala warns us Do not cheat them. Do not cheat them. Imagine in Surah Nisa, one of the complaints that women have normally is regarding inheritance, the opening verses deal with this to say, oh, menfolk, be careful, give them their wealth. Don't cheat them do not steal from them, because whoever does that, they have indeed
committed a grave crime. May Allah subhanho wa Taala save us all remember, to give a few rands extra is better than to be caught on the day of piano, where no Rand no dollar nothing will assist us besides the justice that we engaged in the man and the mercy of Allah subhanho wa Taala. So therefore, it is better to give away that which we do not know whose it is, I'm not sure. Is it mine? Or is it not mine? Rather, I'd consider it not to be mine. If I'm not sure. Because if I'm eating something that I'm not sure of, who knows, I might die the very next day, what answer Am I going to give the angels when they asked one of the first questions is your wealth? Where did you
get it from? Where did you spend it? How did you spend it on what did you spend it the entire detail and account is to be given? That is one of the first questions that are going to be asked May Allah subhanho wa Taala make it easy for us in our graves as well as on the day of the AMA. And remember, it is not too late if we have usurped the wealth out of error or out of greed of our sisters, our daughters, our mothers and so on. Then it is time we gave that wealth back. It is not too late. When will it be too late? When we have died when we age imagine on our deathbed. Now we are sitting and thinking was it worth really stealing the millions that we stole was it was really cheating our
women folk off the jewelry that they had of whatever they were given? Was it worth it and now we are on our deathbed breathing our lasts, what is going to help us it is too late. May Allah subhanho wa Taala help us to resolve these matters here in the month of Ramadan. Another very important issue that I'd like to mention is Surah. Nisa is not at the end of the Quran, it is right at the beginning. It is right at the beginning of the Quran to show the women folk Do you know what your status in Islam is extremely high, you are looked after and protected. You have a right and your rights will be mentioned very clearly in an entire surah in fact in this surah we all know that the
laws of inheritance are written so clearly do you know when it comes to Salah when it comes to Zika the details of salah and Zika are not in the Quran, they are found in the sooner of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam but when it comes to inheritance, very strictly Allah has mentioned one third goes to this person, one six goes to that person and eight goes to this person a quarter goes to that person do not delay when it comes to inheritance. Those who delay It is as though they are eating and stealing. Or in fact they are eating the fire of jam in their stomachs. Allah subhanho wa Taala says in this room in Medina coluna
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those who are eating the wealth of the orphans which means those who have cheated when it comes to the orphans, especially the women and the girls, the female often Allah subhanho wa Taala says they are as those who are eating fire. They are eating fire in their stomachs. Imagine a burning log in our bellies. We can't even imagine that either.
If we had to put it on our bellies without actually eating it, we know what would happen. It would be absurd to do that. Why then do we do it in another way? And Allah subhanho wa Taala says, For those who cheat when it comes to inheritance is a severe punishment. Then some ask a question, look, one of my sons was disobedient.
Can I not prohibit him from a shame? The answer is if he's a Muslim, you cannot prohibit him from the shame Can I tell you why? Allah subhanho wa Taala says in the Quran, you don't know who will be more beneficial to you. You don't know who will be more beneficial to you. Some might have been so good to you whilst you are alive because they were waiting for the big wealth that was going to be shared after your death. Whereas there might have been one who was not very good with you, but after you die, possibly he might regret and he might be the one who's making the most out for you. It is possible. So for that reason, Allah subhanho wa Taala says, Be fair, don't worry, this wealth is
mine. I have given it to you. And now I want to see if you are going to spend it in the manner that I would like you to spend it and distribute it. May Allah subhanho wa Taala make us fair when it comes to our children.
And may Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us solutions to these problems. So many times. So many times we have people who complain, especially the women folk regarding inheritance and how the brothers or the male relatives have oppressed them and have cheated them. May Allah subhanho wa Taala safeguard us, then Allah subhanho wa Taala speaks about the orphan child.
He says when there is a shame that the orphan or that belongs to the orphan, do not just give it to that orphan was the orphan is a child because that often will probably use that wealth in a manner that is very childish. So wait and test that often. When the orphan becomes of age, begin to test the orphan while the taloja Tama has either Bella Nika in Ernesto
la him while at home, test the often until the time when they get to puberty, or according to one of the interpretations test the orphan when he or she gets to the age of puberty, just them regarding what the wealth gives them a little bit, a few rands a little bit of wealth, and tell them, Look, this is what I'd like you to do with this wealth and come back with a record, it's their money.
When they come back with a record, see, is that record to the tee, is it acceptable? If it is not send them again, tell them what to do. Tell them how to do business in the case of the males, tell them
or teach them the concept of profit and loss and so on, and see what they come back with when they are when they show maturity. That is what the Quran says, when they show maturity and when you can see
goodness from them. And now they are ready to take the wealth, then give them their wealth, and let witnesses bear witness that you have given them their wealth. The question I want to ask, is, this is regarding orphans. This is regarding orphans? How many of us do it for our own children? How many of us when the child gets to the age of 1618, we call the child and say, Look, here is so many rights. What I'd like you to do is take this, and this is the plan, come back to me in two days in a week, let's see what you achieve. Let's train them up in business. Let's train them up in various other faculties and issues and items that we'd like them to engage in in the future. Sometimes what
happens, the effluence, what does it do to us, it makes us forget of everything the child has whatever it wants. So then the child is not taught to go out and earn for what it is to spend. And this is very dangerous and detrimental because later on when you are not there, or when the child has developed habits that are too expensive. For the affordability of the own child, the child may begin to steal and deceive and maybe begin to engage in shady deals because of us because we gave everything on the plate without realizing we never built up this child. We never taught the child what business is all about what money is all about how difficult it is to earn money. When a child
has 20 rands 50 grands 100 grands, that child must feel that this is wealth, the wealth must not be just spent in any direction, but the wealth must be spent in a direction that the parents can be proud of. And this is what is required of us. Why am I raising this because Allah subhanho wa Taala makes sure that he tells us this regarding the orphans. At times we forget our own children, may Allah subhanho wa Taala make us strong. Then Allah subhanho wa Taala makes mention of the laws of inheritance as I said, and after that Allah subhanho wa Taala makes mention of a very, very severe verse. I think one of the most serious verses in the Quran where Allah Subhana
What Allah says regarding those who do not share the estates according to the Sharia. Allah subhanho wa Taala says,
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he in Allah subhanho wa Taala says those are the limits. And those are the laws of Allah subhanho wa Taala of inheritance. Whoever follows them for them is Jenna. And whoever transgresses and goes against the laws of inheritance in particular, for them is jahannam for forever. The word forever is used. I'm sure we know Harley, V Ha. And Harley Dena, Fie ha we've heard it before. It means they will dwell there in forever. They move Assyrian have explained that in this verse, this Kali Dena fee her actually means what a very, very long time, maybe not forever, because we are Muslim in but for a very, very long time, and for them is a severe, severe, severe punishment. The Quran says,
Now, let's ask ourselves, is it worth going against the laws of Allah subhanho wa Taala when Allah has warned us, may Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us all and make us stronger.
And Allah subhanho wa Taala in Surah, Nisa makes mention of the difficulties that are faced within marriage, and he makes mention of how these problems should be solved. Remember, it is normal to have an issue or two or a difference or two in marriage, but it is abnormal, to let it grow beyond proportion. And it is abnormal to keep quiet about it and not to solve it when you know it is growing. And it is growing. To an extent that when it gets there, we may not be able to solve it. Allah subhanho wa Taala addresses the menfolk and Allah subhanho wa Taala says, For us,
Kashi, there might be one thing that you dislike.
But in that very thing, Allah might have kept so many forms of goodness. Sometimes, a man might be married to a woman who is religiously much higher than him. And he might get irritated whenever she reminds him have, say, for example, Salah or say for example, the growing of the beard, or say for example, anything else which is Islamic, he might get irritated, not realizing that that irritation in fact, is uncalled for. Because the reality is this woman is a blessing. She is driving us towards gender. And we are getting irritated with that. Allah says Think about it. It may just be a very big blessing. And may Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us the understanding also there are times we don't
like one issue, but there are 10 other issues that we will not be able to do without. So it is a give and take. We need to understand we will never have 100% compatibility in marriage. And Allah subhanho wa Taala is inviting us to look into it and to say if you have 80% compatibility, thank Allah subhanho wa Taala Yes, the minute it drops down to below 30 then you should begin to speak May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us all understanding, but Allah subhanho wa Taala is saying make it work. Make sure that you look at the positives. Don't harp and dwell on the negatives. There might be one or two negatives. try and solve them as far as possible and you will find lots of goodness in
it. May Allah subhanho wa Taala make us all strong in this regard as well. And then Allah subhanho wa Taala speaks to the womenfolk as well as the menfolk in Surah, Nisa, he says, All tatelman Noma sub Bala la movie Baba Akuma do not hope and desire for the virtue that Allah has given some above the other.
This brings the question of equality. In Islam, men and women are absolutely equal when it comes to spirituality. And when it comes to access to the Creator, when it comes to Deen, when it comes to those issues and matters absolutely equal, we are both human beings. We have access to Allah in the same way that a man can become a bully, a woman can also become a warrior, a woman can become one who is close to Allah subhanho wa Taala, a friend of Allah subhanho wa Taala. So spirituality, the spiritual level, in that we have equal chances, but biologically, Allah subhanho wa Taala says, if you'd like contentment and you'd like happiness, admit that you are different biologically and that
biological difference will lead to other differences. And it leads to a role that only you can play male or female, but do not mix the roles. If you feel that you are unhappy with your role, you will die whilst you are
not happy at all unhappy, totally unhappy
And that is not healthy. A woman who says why am I a woman, I'd rather have been a man. If it's just a comment in passing, it's another matter. But if it is a serious issue, then she needs help. And the same applies to a man. May Allah subhanho wa Taala save us. So Allah subhanho wa Taala let us be happy with whatever Allah has given us. Let me take it further, when it comes to the bearing of children, when it comes to breastfeeding, when it comes to the menstrual cycle, in that women have been elevated higher than men, because a man cannot give birth.
And a man does not give birth. So a woman has been elevated higher she goes through acts of worship, that a man has no chance of going through, not at all. So imagine to pass away and to die during pregnancy or childbirth. Automatically a woman achieves the rank of martyrdom, a man has no access to that, not at all. So those acts of worship, a woman has been raised higher. And when it comes to a man, emotionally, he has been made slightly stronger. Physically, he has been given a little bit more strength.
May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant as acceptance of one of our roles and acceptance of however he has made us It is him we need to understand, don't compete with Allah subhanho wa Taala he decided who must be male, and what the role is, he decided who must be female and what the role is, we should not mix the two. And this is a clear verse in Surah Nisa a reminder to both the men and the women folk. Then Allah subhanho wa Taala makes mention of a very important verse regarding the beating of women. And I want to say this year to clarify it today.
I want to say it in order to clarify it. Many people say Islam permits the beating up of wives, that statement is inaccurate. I want to read the verse of the Quran and I want to interpret interpret it for you.
Allah subhanho wa Taala says, while it does, oh no shows.
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sebelah, those of your wives, whom you fear that they will totally disobey you and fall into disobedience, then warn them, speak to them, engage in discussion with them, speak to their brain, speak to them, minds, try and convince them what you want. And Allah subhanho wa Taala says, if that doesn't work, then sleep separately. Anyone who has since a sensible woman would understand immediately that there is a crisis. It is an insult for my husband to be sleeping in the couch, on the couch. May Allah subhanho wa Taala make our women folk strong. Then Allah subhanho wa Taala speaks of those women whom when you try to talk to them, they don't even want to look at you. They
look away. So Allah subhanho wa Taala says, beat them lightly. Beat them lightly. That word lightly. Yes. One might say you added it. No, that's a How about the Allahu anhu? How did they interpret this verse? Let me explain to you two items. The first is they used to take a see walk, see walk, we all know what is this? What? That which we use to clean our teeth. And they used to tap the women in order to draw their attention. That's it. And if a woman feels that no, still what is meant here, or sometimes non Muslims say that what is meant here is to beat an wall up the women. In that case, I want to inform you that Do you know that a woman who is beaten and physically abused has the right
to apply for a nullification of marriage in Islam? Tell me if that was not the interpretation? How would she have the right to apply for nullification on the grounds of having been beaten and physically abused by the husband if that physical abuse was allowed in Islam? So I'm sure all the Muslims or non Muslims, it's now very clear for us that in Islam, physical abuse is totally prohibited. we wipe bashing and beating is haram. But when it comes to drawing the attention, light beating in order to draw their attention, then yes, the Quran has spoken about it. We do not deny the verse at all. But if a man happens to beat his wife, turn her blue and break her bones. She has
the right obviously, to apply for a nullification of the marriage and if it is correct, and he continues after that, and does not acknowledge his weakness and does not want to mend his ways and habits. She may be awarded that nullification and that nica may be dissolved. That is the Sharia May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us all strength.
Then Allah subhanho wa Taala continues to mention a very important aspect and this is a law that every single one of us needs to memorize
who our enemies are
side we don't know. We don't know what they've planned against us. We don't know who they are. We don't know what they have in their minds, and we don't know how much they may succeed in inflicting harm and damage against us. For this reason Allah subhanho wa Taala says in Surah, Nisa, Wallace one, Allahu Allah mubi earn the income, it is Allah who knows who your enemies are, what does
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whenever we are feeling insecure, whenever we feel someone may harm us, whenever we don't know who our enemies and who wants to attack us keep on repeating this. And this basically is invoking allows qualities of protection. And the quality is of assistance, Allah is enough for me as a protector. If Allah protects me, I don't need anyone else. And once we've read this draft, if still something happens, we should understand it was the best thing that could ever have happened. May Allah subhanho wa Taala make us from amongst those who can repeat these two hours that are mentioned in the Quran, and learn them and use them and may He protect us and maybe he may he be enough for us.
And Allah subhanho wa Taala makes mention of once again, the women folk and the problems that are faced, and Allah subhanho wa Taala says when a marriage
suffering turbulence, and when there are problems within marriage, and the husband has tried and the wife has tried, and the two of them cannot resolve Allah subhanho wa Taala says, calling one person elderly wise person from each side, the wife should call in one family member respected.
A person who is wise a person who understands not just someone who is going to take your side and say, Look, she is right. And that's it. No, but someone who can be wise who can help us solve the problem. And the husbands should try the same as well. In fact, the husband should also appoint one person, those two should meet. And these two, the husband and wife must agree that whatever solution, whatever solution, the two members that we have elected and selected will come up with the two of us will act upon it, it will be binding,
a lot of promises and he guarantees he read his law.
If both husband and wife's intentions are the same, and they both intended to solve the problem, then Allah guarantees the problem will be solved. So why do we see no solution nowadays? I tell you why. Because people's intentions are wrong. My intention is to prove that I am right. And her intention is to prove that she is right. So I begin to say, look, I am right, you are wrong. So now the two of them sit together, can they arrive at a solution? Never. Because it was just a war, a war to prove who was right and wrong. In Islam. Forget about who was right and wrong. When it comes to husband and wife. The two must sit together and say from this day, it will not repeat itself. That's
it. We will both right and wrong in whatever way we will.
Then what happens is after that they must never ever raise past issues because that will result in downfall once again, what happens sometimes
two months of solving the problem, and then a solution is reached. And they both agree, okay. We don't want to raise past issues as they are walking away happily, the wife says, but you know what, it really was your fault. And the husband says well there you are at it again and the whole problem commences once again. Allah says no, that's not what should be done. never raise the past. Once you've decided to solve the problem, forget about it. If your intentions are genuine, both sides Allah says the problem will definitely inshallah solve. May Allah subhanho wa Taala make it easy for us then, in the rare case where the problem is not solved. Well nowadays it's becoming quite common.
Obviously we all know that. It's a sign of the AMA with Allah is on the increase. Allah subhanho wa Taala speaks of the permissibility of Allah at the end. And Allah says what he
was young hakima if the two of them separate, because they really cannot live with each other. Then inshallah Allah will give both of them goodness the wife inshallah will have after she is divorced, and after she spends the ADA. Allah will open the doors for her to be married to someone who will be the coolness of her eyes.
And the husband as well. After he has divorced, Allah will open the doors for him to marry someone who will be the coolness of his eyes. Allah subhanho wa Taala says,
that is the decree of Allah. Allah has not decreed that we be forced to live together, even though each one is oppressing the other, and it begins to create and cause mental stress and depression and anxiety and chemical imbalances and so on. No, by the time it gets to that the two should have been separated. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us understanding. The point I'd like to end on today is the issue of mudslinging. I'm sure we know what that means. Generally what happens when to when the couple has divorced, then each one wants to prove No, she was bad. And the other one says no, he was bad. When one proposals for the other or when there is a new proposal for the on either side, then
we find the other party makes a phone call to say no, he's very bad. Be careful. Watch out, be warned. Who knows, maybe those clothes fit this person. And the clothes you had did not fit him. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us all understanding it is totally prohibited to speak ill about one another after the marriage has broken down. If anyone asks you a question, the Islamic answer is to say, look, we were not compatible. That's it. We were on a different page, the two of us, we couldn't and if there is something like if the man happens to be on drugs and so on, and a person who is interested in marriage directly phones, the ex wife, that is the time she can divulge and say
look, there was a problem of drug abuse or so on. And I don't know if it's solved itself, but I couldn't live with it. Good luck. Allahu Akbar. How many of us are ready to actually wish good luck to those who want to marry ex wives and ex husbands? May Allah subhanho wa Taala make it easy for us? Also the lava was lm albaraka Allah Nabina Muhammad Subhana Allah who behind the usual panic alohomora Hamdi Ganesha La la la