Earn On-Going Rewards Now
Part II of Surah Talaaq
Channel: Mufti Menk
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Sister’s Weekly Lesson from Harare Zimbabwe
Episode Transcript ©
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smilla rahmanir rahim al hamdu Lillah wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah Allah Allah He was happy he admires. We praise Allah subhanho wa Taala we thank him upon all conditions we send blessings and salutations upon Mohamed Salah while he was alone, his entire household all his companions, we ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to bless them all and to bless every single one of us, my dearest mothers and sisters. Last week, we heard about how the prophets of Allah alayhi wa sallam was instructed regarding the correct method of issuing divorce. And we also spoke about how important it is to do it correctly. And we spoke about how the instruction of Allah subhanho wa Taala is such that it
caters for and allows for reconciliation.
And this week, we are going to go through various rules and regulations that are straight from the Quran. And I also remember making mention of last week, the fact that ideally, they should be witnesses. Ideally, there should be an issuance of one block.
At a time when the two have not been intimate after a menstrual cycle. That's the proper way of doing things. But I did make mention that the vast majority of scholars do say that if it is done in the wrong way, a person would be sinful regarding the way he did it. But the occurrence would not be affected, which means it would occur. It's like a person who shoots a bullet. If they do it in the wrong way the bullet is to shorten the damage is still done, but they would be sinful regarding how they did it. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us a deeper understanding. Today, we are going to start off by speaking about the damage what is an example. And then there is a waiting period, a
waiting period before you can get married again before you can consider yourself fully separated from the particular person you were married to. The same thing is applicable to females, it's not applicable to males. And there are many reasons why the need that is to be observed primarily to protect the woman and to give her the chance to think and consider to contemplate and to be able to make decisions regarding her future in a correct way.
And also to ensure that she's not expecting on low nowadays there is technology to tell you that she's not expecting almost instantly. Now some people who think that it's only to do with the fact that the person is expecting or not or the question whether the person is expecting or not. They think that data is not important. But ask those who have been through difficult marriages who have lost their spouses after lots of love and lots of goodness between them, they will tell you that it really helped us It really gave us a lot of comfort and respect. It is also to protect a woman in that if she were to marry almost immediately, people may begin to speak, they may begin begin to say
things and generally, a female does not handle those type of rumors and accusations as strong as or as well as a male May, you know, a male might ignore the rumors. But a female it would hurt her quietly, silently, perhaps even more. And in order to protect her in so many different ways. I've just mentioned a few. But you know, it is such a beautiful period of time to gather your thoughts to gather your feelings to be able to look into the future, planning for the future, which is actually as soon as Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, it doesn't mean that because we are meaning we lay our trust in Allah in a way that we don't need to worry about the future. The story of use of alayhis
salam teaches us that for seven years that were to come, he was storing all the grain because he knew that something you know, for a rainy day, so to speak, a day might come when we would beat the grain same applies to us, we save money, we do so much because we know that next year, perhaps we might need that money this year business was good, we don't have a guarantee that it's going to be the same next year and so on. So there is a period that is incumbent upon a woman what is what is and read that in terms of how is it to be observed. Now Sadly, many of the menfolk have interpreted it as a jail sentence for the woman. And it's not a jail sentence. It's not a punishment. So if you
feel that it's a punishment, or a jail sentence that is wrong. If you feel that it is something oppressive, then there is something wrong. It is there to honor a female. So one might say, Well wait, do I have to observe it? The truth is,
we shouldn't be socializing, to the degree that we forget that we are supposed to be mourning in the case of the death of a spouse. For example, there's a wedding happening in the family or for example, they have a party at somebody's house. Or for example, all your friends have gathered at somebody's place and now they're inviting you to come in. Enjoy your time and forget about what's happened and
On, and they crack jokes with you, and so on there. So Allah says, You know what, for you at this particular time, that's not respectful, it's not good, you'd rather just remain at home, if they really want to come to visit you, they may do so if they want to socialize, the only permissible permissibility is within your home, that can come to your house, and let them sit with you and let them talk to you. And you can have a you can have a tea party at your own home, I don't want to call it a party, but perhaps you can, you know, have a meal together or whatever else, but to be seen going out and you know, socializing and enjoying the life and so on. That's not the quality of a
true believing female during the day. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us understanding? Is there any specific clothing that you're supposed to be wearing during the exam? The answer is no, there is no specific color. Some people believe you should be wearing black That is incorrect. It's not an Islamic ruling. It's not an Islamic teaching, however, you should abstain from adorning yourself in a way that it seems you'd like to attract others you'd like to attract other men, for example. So during the period of mourning, or the period of time, when you're supposed to be wearing simple clothing, that is not so attractive, whereby people would then you know, turn their eyes. That
shouldn't be the case anyway. But a person should have stained from putting on perfume that would be smell from a distance. This doesn't mean that you don't put on your underarm and what else you know, to protect you from an odor. But at the same time, it does mean that you don't overdo it with the perfumes such that people think Wow, did you see her she's in an egg den. And she's enjoying herself, you know, she's looking good, smelling good. And she's like, I'm too cute, so to speak. May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us. And this is the protection of Allah subhanho wa Taala. So one might ask, am I allowed to come out of my home? The answer is yes. If it is necessary, you may but
unnecessarily don't come out. So one might say well, what is necessity? necessity is interpreted by you. That's what it is. You need to ask yourself, Is this really necessary, for example, if you're the only breadwinner, and there is no other way, but you have to go to work because you will lose your job. If you stay away for three months, then do you know what during daylight hours you are permitted to go out.
And those who tell you know, you have to sit at home and you're not allowed to go and nevermind if you lose your job and so on and so forth. The day you are sitting at home after you've lost your job, they will not be there to give you a salary to sit and so on. So you need to interpret necessity yourself. Forget about what the world sees. Similarly, if you have a doctor's appointment, you're allowed to go try and keep it during daylight hours. Yes, if you if there is a wedding and so on. That's not absolute necessity. You don't go to Panama, you let the people come to you. And you ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to grant you ease and goodness, if someone is really on their deathbed
recently, I had a case where there was a person whose dad was on their deathbed in the hospital, and they desperately wanted to see their dad and they considered it a necessity. And they went out from there to see their dad during the daylight just for 30 minutes and they came back. The father passed away the next day. May Allah grant him Jana and Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us all ease. That was necessity she interpreted it herself. She went out she has no regrets. And islamically it was not wrong, because she knew she would have kicked herself if she didn't go. And for those who come to you and say no, you're not allowed. No, you're not allowed, I promise you if it was then they would
have done so without informing you or asking anyone else. So the problem we have in the room is people issue rulings for others, which are so strict and when it comes to themselves, they go and follow somebody else's ruling. This is the reality. Why be hypocritical, what you see should be what you get what you say should be what you do. May Allah subhanho wa Taala make it easy for women folk, I think, to be very honest, we have taken a lot of bashing, and there is a lot of ignorance. All the women that I've ever had to speak to in this regard have always said that we always felt it that was actually a punishment, a penalisation a jail sentence and something really horrible, something that
you would dread to go through my beloved brothers and sisters, that's not the case. Allah loves you. He loves you enough to understand your feelings. He knows Yes, he's trying to protect you don't go and say oh, today we heard that. You know, there's nothing about this. No, there is it is a serious matter. There is a really serious matter unnecessarily don't go out. Don't speak to people too much for nothing, you know, but today I believe that socialization can happen even while you're in your home more than it would if you were out of the home. You and I know that is technology, there are phones. There are so many other ways of socializing, there is
video calling, and so on. You have Skype and you have so many other ways of being in America. Why you sitting in a corner of Harare, without lights. Now Allah subhanho wa Taala grant, this is my mothers and sisters. This goes to show that sometimes we overdo things we begin to socialize and we begin to do things that we are not supposed to be doing during the day without realizing it's not good to do solely and only with leaving the home. So one might ask, Well, if I'm living Am I allowed to come out in my yard? That to me is a silly question because that is your property. It's part of your home you are allowed to come out obviously, like I said, it's not a jail sentence. You just got
Sit within the four corners of your room.
And it's not a period of what they would turn
into decaf, it's not a decaf. It's actually just a period of contemplation. So you come out of the house, you want to engage in some gardening, you want to sit and have tea every afternoon with some family members in the yard. And so no problem, no problem, that's your yard. What if I live in a flat? Well, we have a small issue because obviously you your area would be a little bit more restricted. But Subhanallah, whatever is regarded as your area or common area, you're allowed to come out into it. But that which is not your area or common area you shouldn't be coming out of abuse shouldn't be going out of that unless it was a requirement or a necessity. Some people feel so
cooped up, they begin to develop a psychological disorder because they are being forced to remain within a certain four walls, for example, in that particular case, it would be healthy to take you out as well, sometimes, may Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us a deeper understanding of the rulings of the Sharia, and the fact that they are placed in order to protect us not in order to punish us. So I've mentioned a few of the rulings. Now one might ask a question. So where should I spend the day, in, in all cases, it is best to spend the day in the house of the husband, the house that was owned by the men. If it wasn't owned by him, if it was rented and so on, you may want to shift into
another house. If the rental is not going to be sufficient for the period of the exam, you are allowed to shift to a more comfortable convenient place where they are Muharram. For example, if a husband is passed away overseas, you are allowed to make the journey back. If your husband is passed away in another city and your parents happen to be in another city, you are allowed to actually make a journey, preferably during daylight hours, not during the night, to the next city where you would be if a person is renting a home and the rental happens to expire, you are allowed to shift 30 days down the line or at the end of the month, when you need to now go to another place. And if that
happens at the end of the next month, you're still allowed to go from there at the end of that month. So it all depends on necessity. And it all depends on what is the most convenient and what is most protective for you in terms of the people who are Muslim and the people who are going to look after you. However, when it comes to a revocable divorce, the reason why it is best to have it in the husband's house is because it would be a good deed to actually get back to that particular spouse. So if someone has issued one divorce one a lot, and we spoke about it last week $1 that is revocable, and they were to spend it that particularly the period of three menstrual cycles, or
three months in the case of those who don't have their menstrual cycles, when they if they were to spend it in the house of the husbands, there is a greater chance of interaction you are allowed to speak you're allowed to look at each other, you only not allowed to engage in touching or any romantic talk at all the minute that is touching or romantic talk, then it would be considered a revoking of that particular divorce or talaq. So, if for example, that a lot happens to be irrevocable, then it's the decision is yours, you the husband may shift out or you may shift out or you may still have it in that home, but with far less communication, or you may go to your parents
house, it's not such a big deal. But the man is not allowed to kick you out of the house for the period of the day. If it was divorced, if it is dead, I've already explained slightly, that when it comes to the issue of regarding death, my beloved mothers and sisters, then the heirs should be very considerate of the widow. And they should allow her to fulfill that in the period in the most comfortable, convenient place for her where they will be maharam to look after her and so on. I remember we had a case. And we have many cases whereby you have a person who is now in it that no one is there to take children to school, no one is there to buy her groceries. No one is there to
take care of a few of the needs and so on. What do you expect her to do? You can't just say sit here, your mom should be doing it. Well, guess what? They're not doing it. In that particular case, she will interpret it as a necessity. And she will go and do whatever she has to unconditioned that she doesn't waste time. She doesn't go to the beauty parlor. She doesn't come back to do her hair on the way back and so on. No, you go and you come straight back home. You go for example, you don't go socially socializing. You go, for example, to drop your children Off you go for example, to the shops to buy something and you come back if it is necessary. If there's no one to do that for you,
you're allowed to go your life needs to continue. May Allah subhanahu wa taala grant us ease. Let's move on to the translation of these verses. Allah subhanho wa Taala says,
Those who no longer expect menstruation among your women, if you doubt, then their period is three months.
Their period is three months, which means allies obviously teaching us that the period for lack of a day is three menstrual cycles. What if someone doesn't have menstrual cycles? What if they're in the early menopause stage where they barely have their cycle? In that particular case, the ruling is quite clear here and Allah says it's three months. What
type of maths eudemons. So if today's for example, the 20th of RBS, for example, you count three months, and then that would be the 20th of the Islamic month jumada a sunny, there'll be a sunny jumada oola jumada, O'Hara and Raja so for example, the 20th of Raja so three months down the line, you count the third moon and the 20th of it. So on that particular day this the debt would be over.
And then Allah subhanho wa Taala continues to say, and for those who have not demonstrated, those who haven't been separated,
for some reason, say for example, a person and there are some people 18 2025 they haven't administrated because of sickness and illness. May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect all our females from it, some because of something they have had to have the moon removed at a very early age, some from birth and so on. So all these rulings are covered. Allah says those who haven't been treated at all, they also should cover only three months. And then Allah subhanho wa Taala says, And for those who are pregnant, which means they're expecting that term is until they give birth, and whoever fears Allah He will make their matters easy for them. So person just expecting it is wrong to issue
a tala during pregnancy wrong. But if a person issues a polyp during pregnancy, one of the evidences to prove that the law is valid, according to mainstream Islam, is because Allah speaks about the rape of such a woman. If it was not valid, why would he addressed the issue of an ID of such a woman? So it's quite simple logic. I hope we understand I'm not going to harp on it. Because sometimes people say he issued me a talaq, but I was expecting so it's not valid according to who, according to someone, and they name a person no problem. They are people scholars who have issued the ruling, but the mainstream vast majority say look, it's like shooting a bullet whether you
expecting or not, you're going to be hurt, but the man was wrong to have done it. Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us an understanding. So if a person is expecting their term is until they give birth, if someone was issued at the last five minutes before they gave birth date, there's only five minutes there is an incident that's mentioned in some of the books I don't know whether it's true or not, but perhaps it may be where there was a woman who convinced her husband to issue her with one we vocable up as he was leaving for Salatin also, when she when he came back, she was already married to someone else. How because she was expecting as he left she delivered when she delivered her if
there was over and then she married the other person and when he came back she was somebody else's life would be a lot of gossip if that happened in our society, Allah Subhana Allah Allah forgive us with us even if someone marries a year later two years later this gossip stuff from Allah protect our tongues that's a test on Allah speak good about people have have good feelings and thoughts about others. You know, someone divorces and later on Mary's again, say something good because a day might come when you do something totally innocently. And people might say bad not realizing that it was because you said bad about someone else. You know, it comes around to haunt us at times. We ask
a lot forgiveness, really my mothers and sisters, these are serious matters. We take lightly, and we don't realize their power. And we don't realize that they actually come back to affect us. So this is something to protect the pregnant woman as well. Someone might say, well, what if I am divorced at the beginning of my pregnancy? Well, in that particular case, you're going to have a long, long
and I tell you what the benefit of it is, in the case of irrevocable, bollock, you're going to have eight to nine months to get back to each other. So eight months later, he says, you know, missing you so much. I promise you I really really love you that love you, as already revoked that Allah did you know that? It's already because I told you no romantic talk. So this is romantic talk revoking of the talaq that's it may Allah subhanho wa Taala help us and guide us. But if it is an irrevocable palapa, then I do agree that there is an issue. But guess what, if there's an irrevocable bulat, one or two, you can still get back to the same person with just a new nikka. You don't have to get
married to someone else, and so on. And I explained about that last week, I don't want to go back into the detail. So these are very interesting facts. They are there to protect the female like I said, and we ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to grant us an understanding similarly, what about the expense of the female?
say she has expanded expenses, who should pay for that medical expenses? Well, during the period of the debt, the husband is totally in charge, he needs to pay the medical expenses. The ex husband should I say, so he needs to pay the medical bills, he needs to provide food, clothing and accommodation to the degree that he used to provide. So he can say look, stay in my home, you don't want to stay in my home. Well, in that particular case, I may or may not provide for you
X amount of rental. So for example, if he doesn't live in a rented home, or he cannot afford to give you a separate rent, he can say, Look, you're either staying this home, or I can't give you any more money because I don't have it. And you know that. So that would be acceptable.
And then when it comes to food, you cannot you cannot claim the booth of all the food that you've eaten out just as well do they eat better, you got to remain in, but at the same time, you you are given a certain amount in order to keep yourself you know, fulfilled in terms of your basic necessities. So he can give a little allowance for the food and the clothing, two pairs of clothing, perhaps during that period of a debt, which would be the three month in this particular case, or nine months in the case of a pregnant woman.
The maximum being nine months. And at the same time.
We cannot just demand to say you know what? Right? I mean it that? I mean, for nine months, I need two grand a month, that's 18,000, please, you better put it down otherwise, otherwise, what if that was the case, people would be marrying and divorcing every little while, because every year you can collect $18,000? a lot. Wow. So we need to be realistic, you don't just claim an amount, it's got to do with the amount or roughly that was spent at the time, you also have to look at how much the men can afford you cannot be ridiculous. It's not a money making period of time, like the non Muslims, a lot of them as soon as the divorce is already being spoken about. They start looking at assets, they
start thinking, wow, I'm getting 50% better, this couldn't happen. that's gonna happen, hey, I'm going to be sit for a long, long time, and so on. You know, I heard this effect, I heard one non Muslim woman saying she was married twice. And thrice she claimed 50% from three different businessmen.
Imagine to become a business. It's the bogus people that get married, in order to break you. And you don't even realize they keep on saying I love you, I love you. But it's actually I love your money. By Allah subhanho wa Taala, forgive us will open our doors in Islam. That's not the case in Islam, yes, you have to look after the woman. And at the same time. If you've built your own wealth during the time you were married, he's not allowed to take it back. If you, for example, built your own wealth, and this is why a lot of the men or the women
nowadays, they start requesting from the beginning to say, look, we're getting married, I'd like you to set aside $100 a month just in case. And this will be for me, it's not because I'm demanding cash. It's not because I want petty cash to save up. This is must be my own money, and I have the right to own it. You can't take it back. There have been so many cases where men have borrowed money from their wives, the wives have had that money from their own families, they've never given it back. They are criminals, unless the wife forgives them. But at the same time, that's not Islamic. He's not supposed to be taking away your money. It's yours. So by mothers and sisters, if you say
that I don't have any,
what do they call it security, I don't have anything to go back to if I'm divorced, or he dies, suddenly I'll be on the street maybe? Well, it's it's your duty to work on that while you're married. You see, it's your duty to work on that while you're married in the sense that if the man really cares for you and loves you, at the end of the day, the house will probably be on both of yours names. Or he might give it to you not necessarily on paper, but he needs to make people bear witness that look, this house belongs to my wife or your mother belongs to her palace. Not that if I die, let her stay in it until I die until she dies and so on. That's actually not an Islamic way of
wording things. In Islam, you're not allowed to see if I die It will go to her when she dies, it will go to so and so so and so no, that's not Islamic. It's a topic on its own topic of inheritance. We've covered it in the past and we will be covering it again soon inshallah. But you can say look, if I die, not if I die from now this house belongs to her. That's it. So now what if she dies first? Well, we've got a small problem, but you can cross it at the time you're a man, isn't it? May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us ease May he make things easy for us. There is always a risk in everything you do. There is a risk. That's where Allah comes in. If there was no risk involved, what would be
the point of belief in align, calling out to Allah and making dua to Allah, even your wealth that you earn, when you have a risk of profit and loss, it becomes blessing, it becomes greater in terms of Baraka and blessings from Allah subhanho wa Taala. Sometimes when there's absolutely no risk, it can actually be prohibited such as usually an interest and so on, where you just say, Look, I'm giving you so much You have to give me so much back whether you like it or not, I'm not worried what happens to the money or you I just want this amount back. That's it and if you don't give me back, I'm going to start selling all your things and you're going to be on the street. Well, Allah says
that's how you're not allowed to do that. These are human beings, the wealth belongs to Allah, Allah gave it value and put it into your hands. So looking after the female, this is something extremely important. Similarly it is highly encouraged for those
females who are divorced or who are widowed, to actually actively get married again, search to get married again, actively search to get married again, or they're Mahalia, the closest male relative must take care of them. Sometimes it's an elderly son, or when I say elderly, I mean, an old son who's working. Sometimes it's a father who's still alive. Sometimes it's a brother, sometimes it's an uncle. And if one refuses, it automatically goes to the next one.
And if collectively, they don't look after you, they're all sinful.
So the women sometimes cry foul, you know, I'm widow, no one's looking after me. To be honest, all the men that are related to you are sinful completely. It's not a law system. It's actually then we're not following the system. So this is why Allah subhanho wa Taala tells us clearly that whoever fears Allah He will make for him his matter is, he will, he will make for him of his matter, ease, which means he will create ease in the matter whether it's the reader with age looking after whether it's sustenance, whether it's wealth, no matter what it is, alone will create ease for the person who fears Allah subhanho wa Taala. So Allah says, Daddy camula hands Allahu la calm that is the
commander of Allah which he has sent down to you. And whosoever fears Allah He will remove for him his misdeeds and make great for him his reward. So here thrice, Allah says whoever fears Allah and then he gives a response. First time he says, Whoever fears Allah, He will grant him a way out. Whoever fears Allah, He will create ease for him. Whoever fears Allah, He will forgive his sins and
make his reward great Subhan Allah, so this is the
reward of feeding Allah subhanho wa Taala. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us the ability to fear him in the correct way. I mean, then verse number six, Allah says, regarding Why should you keep the women whom you've divorced, Allah says, lodge them in a section where you dwell out of your own means, and do not harm them in order to oppress them. Now, do not harm them in order to oppress them means many things.
Here, if you go down to the footnote, it says, so that they would be forced to leave or ransom themselves. So they are allowed to stay in the homes they should be staying in. They should be lodging in a section of your own house, in one of the rooms and so on. And you shouldn't make life difficult for them. Don't oppress Don't utter bad words don't because now they divorce their somebody's daughter, they are ultimately the creature of Allah, the beloved worshipper of Allah. That's what you need to know. So you don't oppress them. And at the same time, Allah is warning that if this happens, then such people will be punished. Similarly, oppression is where a person
divorces, takes back, divorces, takes back divorces and wants to take back. remember Allah says Allah Camarata, divorce is only twice the third time you're not allowed to get back to the same guy. You got to go to someone else. Why? The reason is, you lived with him so long, for example, you didn't get along at all, you try to repair the relationship and mend it. And you didn't succeed. So one, a lot is supposed to have been issued, when it was issued, you had a period of reconciliation, you reconcile after that you lived again for such a long time, and you didn't get along. And then you had a second divorce. So Allah says the third time you can't reconcile why because now you must
marry someone else. When you marry someone else, you realize that oh, this new guy is such a lovely guy and hamdulillah Wow, this other guy used to beat me up this man don't even raise his baby finger hamdulillah Al Hamdulillah.
But if it's the other way around, and this man, the first guy, he might have sworn you but he never beat you up and the second guy starts beating you up. You're going to tell us I will help me to go back to that guy. Or lady great. I really regret Oh, Allah helped me. So Allah says no problem. If the divorce goes through from this man, this one, you're allowed to go back to him. Why? So that you will now appreciate him because he had 20 weaknesses. The new guy had 200 weaknesses. So that's the whole purpose of not being allowed to go back to the same guy unless you've been married to someone else and without anyone's interference out of normal relationships not being not getting along and
being divorced because of proper reasons. When you go back to the first guy, that is the proper way. But some people like I said last week, they do what is known as halala Oh, this guy issued three locks. Now you know what? Let's go and do some halala What's a holla? Holla Holla Holla Holla Holla Holla Holla Holla Holla Holla LA. Allah has cursed the one who does halaal us and the one whom it was done for when people say oh, divorce guys, okay, do you know what?
Let's organize one of my connections. You can just marry him. And then the next morning, he just divorce you. And then you just wait for the exam. We'll get married back again. Are you playing with the law of Allah? Do you think that that's a joke? Do you think that that's the law of Allah
Illa you are cursing yourself and everyone else it's over the game is done. May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us.
I know I know of a real life case in the UK, where there was a guy who used to do this in one day he married someone, it was one of the People's wives ex wives who was divorced, and he didn't divorce. And today, they've got four kids together, and he says, Wow, she's the best of all the women I've ever had.
And that other man no longer talks to him.
This is a joke. It's actually such an such a great insult. It's dropping and degrading a woman to the lower than an animal stuff. How can you do that? How can you even think that that's allas law and his command in his instruction, never, don't play with the rules of a law Life is too short, we go back to Allah and we regret Allah subhanho wa Taala forgive our shortcomings. mela strengthener. So Allah says, logically mean a section of where you dwell out of your means, and do not harm them in order to oppress them. Now out of your means would also include that in the case where you cannot lodge them in your own home because of how small it is, you may want to pay their rental for where
they are. And if they are, if they do happen to be in their own parents homes, for example, you may want to chip in slightly in order to to,
in order to show at least that you have been concerned about someone you were married to. The problem with us is when divorce occurs, it is so ugly, so so ugly, sometimes we need to learn from the non Muslims where they divorce. But it's not that again, it's not so ugly that you know, you, you treat a person like they're worse than dogs and cats and animals. So for the law, sorry, take the cat out of the equation. But at the same time, it's very bad. We as Muslims should be behaving in a more civilized manner, the Sahaba of the law. And when divorce happened, they actually told others that look, I divorced this woman, but I really think she's a good woman for you, perhaps you
might get along with her we didn't get along because we were different, and so on. And the people appreciated it and they got married. Amazing. Imagine someone hooking up their ex with another really, really good guy. So Pamela, I think with us, I don't even want to complete the sentence.
So Allah says,
and if they should be pregnant, then spend on them until they give birth, which means you have to look after the medical expenses, and everything else has to be taken care of by this man, it is his child. And guess what, when they happen to give birth, then Allah continues, it doesn't just stop there, because now they have your child. Listen, Allah says if they breastfed for you now that they no longer your wives, if they breastfeed for you then give them their payment, and confer among yourselves in the acceptable way. Which means if your wife, your ex wife is looking after your kids, guess what Islam says you got to pay her for that.
Love. I think a lot of us probably wouldn't even have imagined that this would be the case. Many women don't want the payment. All they want is a bit of respect. That's it, nothing else. Women in general, they're not greedy. All they want is acknowledgement appreciation and a slight bit of respect. Once that happens, they don't mind giving you the whole world, believe me, Allah subhanho wa Taala. Grant us a deeper understanding. The problem is when we become ugly and dirty, and we become people who don't appreciate when everything changes, people, it seems like they've become materialistic and they're not. But from the from the perspective of a male, it is important that the
males adopt the law of Allah and make this payment. And let's not be ridiculous, like I'm breastfeeding your child. If you take a look, it's going to cost you $3,000 a month. Come on, come on, relax. So because Allah knows that some people might be ridiculous, do you know what he says? Listen to what he says.
Let's go back. And if he if they breastfed for you, then give them their payment and confer among yourselves in the acceptable way. But if you are in discord, then they may breastfeed for him, another woman meaningful for the Father. So the father may look for someone else to breastfeed the child to look after the child. Wow. In that case, what happens? In that case? Well, it was too expensive with the mother, I couldn't afford it. So I actually looked for someone else who was cheaper. So this is why I say it's not an issue of money. It's an issue of respect, appreciation, acknowledgement. Understanding the costs, for example, you have, you know, as a child, you have
certain expenses for the child, as the child is growing up with us. In our case, what happens is the schooling of the child I know of a specific case in another country. That's why I can give you this example, as many years back where the child the mother of the child was demanding that at five years old,
I think less than five years old, the child be put into a preschool like a crush or nursery system, where the fee was so high, it was the top in, in that region that they were living in. And the man was just a pauper in the sense that he couldn't afford it. And she said, Well, I'm going to deny him access to the child, because he's not paying fees. And he got a ruling to say you don't have to send them to school in Islam. You can school him at home, but she wasn't bothered. So you cannot be ridiculous. I want to send my child to a school way. For example, what was the school I read about in the papers the other day? I think it's called Falcon college they say 4100 to $5,000 fee whatever
it is, and you know what, you know that the man is poor salaries only $1,000 Come on. And then you say that that's it, you can't send him the okay finished is no longer your son. Come on. May Allah forgive us, you got to be reasonable. You got to understand his level. You got to perhaps you might want to chip in a little bit. Say for example, he can afford $200 a term $400 a 10th, for example, for the child's fee, and you want him to go to a school at 700 $600 attempt? Well, you're going to have to top it up because that's now from you. That's what it is. If not, you have to learn to downgrade. This is why listen to the next verses where Allah asks us to be happy with what we have
and to downgrade when your husband can't afford things. Don't look and compare with others. Listen to the verse, Allah says, let a man of wealth spend from his wealth, and he whose provision is restricted meaning he who has less wealth, let him spend from what Allah has given him. Allah does not charge any soul except according to what he has given it. Allah will bring about after hardship, ease by his work.
That's a powerful verse. What does that verse tell you? It tells you don't be greedy. And don't try and live beyond your means. That's what the verse is telling you.
You know that the salary is $1,000 budget so that you live off about $800 and you can save 200 budgeted that way. You don't need to go to the same places everyone goes to you don't need to go on holiday every holiday you don't need to go overseas or out of the country on holiday, you can visit nega Mashallah you can visit perhaps maybe somewhere else Alhamdulillah you can ask Allah you know, there are so many beautiful places in our own country chimanimani and boomba and so on metopes depending on what you like the Vic Falls the last time that it had water, Mashallah, yes it does. From the law, you need to know when to go and you need to go how you need to know how to go. If you
can't afford for example, to go by air you can go by your own if you can afford to go by road, perhaps you might want to catch public transport if you don't have your own car and so on. You don't have to.
But with us, a lot of people suffer not because they don't have because they want something they don't need. That's the reality. A lot of people suffer not because they don't have because they want something they don't need. It's not a necessity. I just want it What do you want? iPhone seven? Have you seen it? iPhone seven?
iPhone seven? I haven't even heard about it.
May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us a lot of people are struggling with life. They suffering and you know what? Because they want to live beyond their means they want everything that everyone else has. I need this perfume. This type of makeup. I was reading an article yesterday about makeup and how bad it is for the health. They say on average, an average American woman pastes. 130 different chemicals on her face through the week. Have you heard that? Go and read it. It's an article. Imagine 130 different chemicals. Leave that face to Panama Levy, don't worry, apply something natural from nature. Look at your trees go and plant in your own home your aloe vera will light
grows in Zimbabwe by mistake. You won't know that you have it in your home. Many of us have lavender, we have Aloe Vera, we have time whatever else in the house, we don't even know it's growing in the yard. And you know what we go and pay $100 $500 somebody is going overseas. Hey, just bring me that little thing. What's it? It's pure aloe vera extract, guess what? Go to your backyard, slice the thing take out the little it's more than 100% pure. You know why it came from your own yard.
You and that plant breathed the same way.
My mother's assistance is just a way of letting you know that it's not live beyond our means. Let's try our best. I'm not saying things are haram or halal because that's a different topic on it. That's a different discussion. But But what I am saying is let's learn to budget we're all struggling I'm sure every single person without a single exception in our community in our country here we've had to downgrade to a certain extent some a little bit more than others. Some have had to actually go well below their level of living some time back if you haven't shifted downwards or you've been too embarrassed to to shy to acknowledge that you can't afford that life anymore. You're
going to suffer you are going to suffer Allah says bite that bullet just go down
That's it just say look, I can't afford meat anymore in the house, we're going to be having veggies and I can't afford to buy it anymore. So Mashallah, we've got good yards, I'm going to go into gardening, and we're going to actually plant it here. And that's what we will eat and handler. The problem is no noise. My kitchen is closed every weekend, if you're not buying from them from me, and from there, that's it. You can send me back to my dad's house, guess what? his dad's house they eat spinach from the
ground, His goodness, like I said, this is just on a lighter note to make us think that's all I'm not saying it for purposes of picking on people. But I'm just saying to make us think it's a reality. You don't need the latest of everything. So Allah says it and I want to read the meaning of this verse again, because I believe it's powerful. It fits into more aspects of life than just divorce. Allah says, let a man of wealth spend from his wealth, if he's wealthy and handle let him spend, he must give.
And he was provisioned is restricted, meaning he who has less wealth, let him spend from the little that Allah has given him. Allah does not charge a soul except according to what Allah has given it. Allah will bring about after hardship, ease, which means you bear patients after this hardship there has to come ease.
So yes, in this case, what you could do is, if the spouse or the ex spouse is extremely wealthy, and they being stingy, then yes, you can demand you're right in the sense that you can say, you know what, he's being unfair. The man is being absolutely and completely unfair.
Say for example, he's got three children, and one from a previous marriage and he doesn't look after that one at all. And there's no reason not to. If there's reason not to, it's that's a topic on its own again, but if there's no reason not to, then he is guilty in the eyes of Allah, he's supposed to afford them or give them or facilitate for him whatever he is done for the rest, he needs to be equal amongst his children. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant His goodness, Allah subhanho wa Taala then says,
and how many a city was insolent towards the command of its Lord and His messengers, and we took it to severe account and punished it with a terrible punishment, I will end it that verse because the time is up but what I quickly want to tell you is this verse we will continue with it next week, inshallah life Allah gives us the opportunity to do so. Allah is making mention of the punishment that was given to those who turned away from the command of Allah. So Allah saying, These are the instructions for as long as we observe the data for as long as we observe the laws of marriage and divorce in the proper way, for as long as we know, the limits of child custody and access and so on,
and we observe them, the mercy of Allah will continue to descend upon us, the minute we transgress, immediately after making mention of these rules and regulations, Allah says, look, we've destroyed other cities before because we sent them messages and messages, and they denied and belied, so we destroyed them. Don't think we cannot do the same again and again. May Allah subhanho wa Taala not do that to us. May He grant us beneficent reign, in Sharla my mothers and sisters, we ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to bless every single one of you. And we ask Allah Subhana Allah to Allah to grant you ease in whatever difficulties and hardship sickness, illness that you may be going through
metallographic mercy to those from your family members and from the woman whom he's taken away, may have mercy on us the day he takes us away, or sort of low was lm opelika, ala nabina, Muhammad Subhan, Allah, Allah Allah, Allah Allah, Allah and Allah Coronado boudic