Making your Parents Happy

Mufti Menk

Channel: Mufti Menk

Episode Notes

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Light Upon Light
London

In this talk, the venerated Sheikh reminds us of our duty to our parents. He helps us to find the balance between our daily affairs and our duty to our parents.

Simple acts such as including the Dua for parents after each salah, calling your parents at least once a week can draw the mercy of Allah on us. When Islam behoves us to show mercy to strangers, what more to our parents.

But his talk also touches upon the duty of parents towards their children. Placing unfair demands upon children at the door of duty and obedience towards parents is unislamic and will not be left unpunished.

Therefore find that balance between duty and dunya and begin a new relationship today by calling, sitting, cherishing our parents.

 

Episode Transcript

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Salam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

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smilla rahmanir rahim al hamdu Lillah wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah Allah Allah He was happy.

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We always praise Allah subhanho wa Taala no matter what condition we are in, and we send blessings and salutations upon Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam his household his companions We ask Allah Subhana Allah to Allah to bless them

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to bless every one of us to grant us all goodness and to grant us happiness in this world in the next my brothers and sisters, it's not easy to be the last speaker

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at an event where everyone has become so uneasy, Masha Allah,

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may Allah make it easy for every one of us. I mean,

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this evening, I will be speaking about parents.

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And I'm sure you would appreciate that every single one of us in order to have brought us into this existence, Allah subhanho wa Taala

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has chosen for us parents and we had no say as to who they would be, where we would be given birth to we didn't have the choice.

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And this is part of the plan of Allah subhanho wa Taala. And this is what Allah subhanho wa Taala willed. And Allah says, You must learn to be respectful to those whom we have chosen to bring you into existence, no matter who they are, no matter what religion they follow, no matter

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whether they're sinful or not. You still have to be respectful and show kindness to them. It is only when they asked you to do something in the disobedience of Allah subhanho wa Taala that you politely excuse yourself. these teachings are absolutely beautiful Allah says in the Quran

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buka Allah

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lahoma

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Welcome

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back.

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In that beautiful verse, Allah subhanho wa Taala has summarized your duty and mine unto our parents. Some of us our parents may have passed away. It is important for us to make dua for them. It is important for us to ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to have mercy on them as believers and to deal with them justly in the most beautiful way knowing that Allah is the most compassionate, the Most Merciful, just like I would love for Allah to have mercy on me. I should love that Allah subhana wa Taala has mercy on my parents, hence the prayer. Allah says, if you were to witness any one of your parents in your old age alive, you pray to Allah for them. You ask Allah for them,

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saying, Oh Allah have mercy on them because they brought me up when I was little. That is amazing. If you were to pray for your parents when they're alive, you ask Allah saying Burnham Houma Kamara by aneesa de la ora Have mercy on them just like a because they have brought me up when I was little. If they didn't bring me up, if they didn't take care of me, perhaps I wouldn't be here today. So we ask Allah subhana wa Jalla to have mercy on our parents. But Allah subhanho wa Taala starts off by saying if Allah tala Houma

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you shouldn't even make a sound from your mouth that is hurtful

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against them. That's the meaning of the tempo of is a sound from your mouth that would be hurtful to your parents, even if you disagree with them, even if they happen to be parents who are calling you towards that which is forbidden. It does not justify you making a sound from your mouth that would be hurtful or abusive against your own parents. If they were to ask you to do something wrong. Like I said, you politely excuse yourself. You don't

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obey them in the disobedience of Allah. But if they're asking you something that is not in the disobedience of Allah, then part of being a good child would be to listen to what they have to say.

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May Allah subhanahu wa taala make it easy. This covers those parents who are good and those who are not perhaps so good in their attitude in their character, sometimes in their belief and so on. But Allah teaches us, he has indeed decreed that none shall be worshipped besides Him, that's the first I just read.

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He has indeed decreed that none shall be worshipped besides Him, and that you shall be kind to your parents. That's what Allah says. Now, my brothers and sisters, kindness to parents, what we need to bear in mind when we were born,

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our mothers have gone through difficulty hardship. When we were in the wombs of our mothers, they went through great hardship, great difficulty.

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They became happier. As we became heavier, the burden was greater, but they knew we were growing. And as we began to kick, the pain was there but they were happy while they were in pain, because we were growing correctly. The same applies after we were born, they were happy seeing us grow, even though they spent sleepless nights. And even though they gave up their own sleep for us to sleep, they fed us and they ensure that we were doing okay. Do you think that Mother of yours deserves that you forget about her Sacrifice from the time prior to your birth?

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Just because now you're a grown up. And that's it. If she says something wrong, if she's interfering, even in your marriage, after you have your own children, it does not justify that you be unkind to her, but you politely with great kindness and respect can correct her people mistake in this issue. Many people say you know what, that's your mother. Jana lies at her service or some say at her feet. To be honest, yes, indeed, if you were to respect her and be kind to her, it will be a door of paradise for you. Like one narration says.

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at a loss of those, this is a narration of the Prophet sallahu wa salam known as the narration where he was ascending the member and he said, I mean, thrice. And he was asked, Why were you saying I mean, and he says the three different supplications were made. And I was saying, I mean, and those supplications and one of them was

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at a loss of those or won't be to those who would miss one or both of their parents at old age in their lives, and yet do not earn Paradise by serving them. Well, which means if I want paradise I need to serve my old elderly parents Why? It is reported that a man wants came to America

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with his mother on his back. And he says,

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Oh, I mean,

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this is my mother.

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I help her do everything. I take her across. I sit with her, I carry her. I help her use the bathroom, I feed her I clothe her everything I do, have I fulfilled her rights. Did you hear that? You and I would say I think you're doing a lot Mashallah. Mashallah, may Allah bless you, but Allah strengthen you, right? ameerul momineen says, What's the big deal? meaning in his own words, he says, You know what? She did the same for you. She closed you. She fed you. She took you to the bathroom, she cleansed you? She did everything else. She carried you around everywhere, just like you're carrying her. But there's one massive difference. What is it? When she did it for you? She

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kept praying that you have a long and healthy life. And when you're doing it for her, you're hoping that perhaps this might end one day soon.

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luck, but did you see the difference? You're doing the same thing. But so Hannah, you were thinking in your mind? When is this going to end? And when she did the same thing she was making the opposite. You are saying Oh Allah grant my child goodness, let's let him grow, let her grow etc, etc. So it goes to show Allah allows the circle to close because he wants to test you will you be as good to those who are good to you in the past the day they need it. So how

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will you be good to those who are good to you in the past the day they need that goodness from you, even if it is your mother or your father? The difficulty is many of us don't understand. I was saying sometimes our parents happen to do things that are wrong. They make mistakes. They say that which is wrong. Sometimes you want to marry a person

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Some that belongs to a different race. And very unfortunately, your mother or your father will follow tradition or culture, which is far from Islam, they may say, I don't want this to happen and give you any excuse because they're guilty of sinning against Allah, it doesn't mean that they can use against you the cheap blackmail of saying gentle lies at my feet. So you'd better obey what I'm saying. But rather, you need to correct them very politely to say, my mom, my dad, you know, racism is not Islamic. It's not something that Islam allows SubhanAllah. So it doesn't mean they should use the statement that Allah has made in the forum to blackmail you and I to believe something an

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Islamic or to do something that is not from Islam, but rather, we will correct them very politely and remind them. And this is why those of us who are parents here, and those who may hear this later on, please understand your duty and your responsibility and to Allah, never use these statements to force your children to do things that are ridiculous, that are unacceptable, that are fulfilling your own whims and fancies, because trust me, you need gender as a parent, as much as your children would need gender, just like your children serving you would be their entry into paradise, you being kind to them and having mercy on them, and obeying the instruction of Allah will also bring about

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that paradise for you. May Allah subhanho wa Taala guide us. So it's important to strike a balance. Yes, we as children are taught to look after our folks to actually be kind to them, to pray for them. How many of us pray for our parents as we're young?

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How many of us listen to what they have to say how many of us sit with them, and just spend a little bit of time talking to them as they get older and older, sometimes when they become a little bit more old. Because we get married and perhaps we have our own families and so on. We tend to forget that all your mother once or all your father ones is that once in a while you ask about them, you contact them, you visit them, you sit with them, don't burden them and my beloved parents don't burden your children either. Subhan Allah Subhana Allah, may Allah subhanahu wa taala help us strike the balance. It's become so difficult to speak about topics from only one side because the others

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would cry foul to say I have a situation My father has molested me sexually as a child. What do I do?

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I've heard this very often. In that case, what type of parent Are you my beloved father, we are supposed to be protecting your child from your own evil. What type of Paradise is there going to be serving a person like that?

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Who has abused the very trust that Allah has placed upon their shoulders? Well, Allah subhanahu wa taala protect our children. May Allah grant us ease. These things are brushed under the carpet, a lot of the times they are swept under the carpet and no one wants to speak about them. If fathers or mothers are going to abuse their children, be it physically or any other way. They are guilty of not being exemplary parents, just like you would like your children to respect you. You need to know they desperately want to respect you, but you need to be respectful yourself. May Allah subhanahu wa taala grant us that respect.

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How much time have we as parents spent with our children when they were young, and then when they grow older, we expect them to spend time with us. So things are going wrong, things are settling, but still how to make your parents happy. You spend time with them. You pray for them without them knowing that you're praying for them.

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And this is why Allah subhanho wa Taala tells us what was solina

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look at the two words. Allah says we have written for you we have advised you we have left for you a piece of advice and injunction and obligation that you do what is known as a son to your parents, as men. What is your son, kindness, goodness, be humble. speak to them with a low volume. Don't raise your voice in front of your mother, no matter how bad she may be. It does not justify for you and I to raise our voices May Allah forgive me when I have faltered as a son. And May Allah forgive all of us where we have faltered as children but drop your tone your volume. Be humble. Be humble in such a way that when you speak to your parents, even in disagreement, it does not look like a battle and

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the war because then you would be earning the Wrath of Allah even if you are right

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Simply because of the way you were portraying that correct statement of yours. You can say it in a polite way. You didn't need to scream, you didn't need to yell. That is all part of the correction that you and I need. Similarly, when you address them use respectful words no matter how disrespectful they may have been. Trust me myself being a parent and almost a grandparent inshallah

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I promise you my brothers and sisters, we feel at times that we need help with our own character and conduct and here we are talking about our children's character and conduct so panorama how many of us as parents, we know we need help to refine our own character, the way we speak. Do you use loving words with your children even when you want to discipline them? Or have you been Mr. Stick or Mrs. With Subhanallah? That's what people do. They want to whip their children the other day someone sent me a clip of a chef who was busy teaching Quran to two children in the masjid and someone was videoing from the side. The chef was beating up these children as though the Quran can only enter

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your heart if you whacked someone. That's what some people believe. The minute you say you're becoming a half of all they see a sticks and, and you know, they see the palm of the shift over the bill. I want to tell you, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was the greatest teacher, not a single narration permits the beating of a child to teach the child never has Islam condone the beating of a child to teach the child not ever.

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The Prophet sallallahu Sallam at his hands graduated the most knowledgeable of all those who had knowledge on earth. He did not beat a single person. He did not work even one person. He didn't even raise his hands on one person. Subhan Allah, he was sent as a mercy. We want to teach the book of the Most Merciful By being merciless with those children. Where is the deen of Allah? It shows our weakness. The same applies to parents. You want to instill and inculcate goodness in your children by walloping them. That is unacceptable. Even from an Islamic perspective, there is no way in Islam that you're allowed to wallop and abuse your children physically in order to teach them something

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No, you need to lead by example, communicate with them, engage them use different means of disciplines from Hannah law, yes, you may have a means that would be effective based on the time tomorrow what will be effective may not be what was effective yesterday. Today, you try and beat a child trust me, they may beat you back. May Allah forgive us.

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You see your son you look at him, sir. Okay, because now he's big 16. Nowadays, by the time they are 13 or 14, they're already bigger than us. I'm sure you would agree with all the GMO and everything that's going on Mashallah fertilizer in the Niger areas, by the way.

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And they're told, and suddenly, this is the child I used to wall up some time back and he looks at you says, Dad, what did you say? Nothing, nothing. SubhanAllah. Look at how the world changes. Because Sunday is now muscular. We can say anything to him. Trust me, Allah has more power over you than the most masculine of your children that you fear. May Allah subhanho wa Taala, grant us ease. Sometimes your parents grow a little bit old, they go into their 60s and 70s and 80s, they begin to fear us because of the way we speak because of what we say.

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But my brothers and sisters, we always need to know, lead by example, develop a good communication with your parents from a young age. If your parents have been a little bit hard on you talk to them, tell them you know, my mom, I really can't stomach this, I'm feeling so suicidal, talk to your mom, talk to your dad, may Allah subhanho wa Taala give us a good connection. People come to us as scholars, as counselors and tell us I'm feeling this way. And that way, when in actual fact, they were supposed to confide in you as a parent, but because you are the problem, they have to confide in someone else outside of the home. And a lot of the times it's got to do with the fact that we're

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not following Islam, but rather we're worried about people around us. And we want the culture to prevail over the religious teaching. And that's where we're going wrong. So Panama, sometimes culturally, it might not be normal to marry a person from across the river. But trust me from a religious perspective, if there is nothing wrong with that, then you are wrong to deny your child that people say you cannot come up with your own suggestion to get married. That's got to come from us. Where did you get that from? Your own culture Subhan Allah, there was nothing wrong in suggesting who you want to marry. Let's go back and look at Khadija been to Hawaii.

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Number one, she married someone who worked for her. She married someone who was much younger than her. She was the one who actually or her side had actually put forward that whole idea

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Well, we call it a proposal. And it came from the girls side, so to speak. But with us, we don't even want to entertain. How could you even suggest you want to marry this person Don't you know, in our culture, you have to marry your cousin,

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Allah forgive us. The cousin wants to marry someone else, and you want to marry someone else, and your parents have forced you to marry together. So you are busy thinking about another while you're intimate with your spouse, and he's thinking of another being intimate with you, and everyone is doomed. And the parents, the curse on them will only perhaps be delivered on the day of PM, Allah subhanho wa Taala, forgive our parents,

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it is forbidden to think that way. That is a dirty culture that we need to get rid of. And if we don't talk about it, trust me, you won't be able to respect your own parents. That's where it comes in tonight.

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We want our parents to be happy, we will make them happy. But when they asked you to do something ridiculous, don't you think it's our right to defend you and I where they are going totally wrong. There is nothing in Islam to say you must marry your cousin. No, you could or you couldn't. There's nothing to say yes or no, there. It's okay. But it's also okay to marry someone else. In fact, perhaps the further you go, the better it will be. From the genes perspective, may Allah subhanahu wa taala, grant us ease. So if your child comes up with a suggestion to marry, and it is permissible in Islam to let that happen, and you don't let it happen, you make our topic so difficult to say

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making your parents happy when you're not making Allah happy as a parent. So we have to talk about it today. How can I make my parents happy when they haven't even pleased Allah regarding me, it's a challenge we're facing. And it's happening every day. If I were to tell you almost 100 emails a day on this topic that I receive, I wonder about the others on this particular topic to say parents have denied and you know what's happening, increase in adultery, sometimes the parents are to blame. I'm not saying those who are perpetrating the sin are not to blame, but the parents are to blame for facilitating it. They could have facilitated Hana, but they're facilitating harm because my ego,

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what's my family going to say? what's this person going to say? How can you marry someone of a different caste of a different race of a different nationality? Someone who doesn't have a house, or a car or a proper job, etc, etc? No way. I'm not going to let this happen. And then you come and give us a topic to talk about how to make parents happy. Allahu Akbar. You don't even want to make your own Lord happy

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Subhana Allah.

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I don't know if the dead silence is because we are parents or children.

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But my brothers and sisters, wouldn't you agree it's about time we enter into submission holistically. We don't need to just follow where it suits us. I kept my beard I'm done. I want my a job. I'm done. Now I can swear my child, I can swear anyone I can treat them as badly as ever. I can take my daughter in law son in law as a little slave in the home. And I can just go out and gallivant and do whatever I want. And this person needs to do X, Y, and Z. If that's the case, how do you want yourself to be happy as a parent? May Allah subhanahu wa taala help us to protect our own self from that? I mean,

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now I'm sure if we definitely allowed our children at times to do what Allah has permitted, even though it may not go down too well with us. And yes, we have every right to advise our children, we are parents, we have a right to advise when your mother speaks to you, when your father speaks to you, they engage you, when they address you take what they say, seriously, consider it, think about it deeply, deeply. Because Allah subhanho wa Taala is going to ask you,

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not every time that they disagree with you, are they wrong? Perhaps most of the time they are right, you know, the relationship you have. If it's a toxic relationship, then indeed, perhaps you might have some bad blood there that you need to sort out communication and lack of it determines that level of that. So panela, you need to make sure you communicate well between parent and child. If your father has been hard in the past, don't hold it for 20 years, you know, 20 years ago, my father beat me up, come on, let it go, I'll have the lights gone. If it was something serious and major, like I spoke about abuse, sexually, etc. In that case, you can even report your own father to the

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police. There's no harm in that in order to protect yourself and your siblings and others from that type of misbehavior. It's not wrong.

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You must In fact, you should if the if it persists, and if that's what actually happened, we cannot tell you that because you have to respect your father and be kind to your father. You cannot protect yourself and anyone else from the evil of that man. No, no, my beloved fathers there is a duty on your shoulder.

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To protect your own children and if you are the criminal, unfortunately, you will have to be dealt with also with the full Wrath of the law. May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us all.

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So this is why we say this communication and this beautiful relationship, if you feel protected as a child as you're growing up, I'm sure it would make it so much easier for you to respect your parents to make do out for them to actually cry when you're away from them, to call them whenever you're away from them to find out where you are, or to give them news of where you are, and to tell them to make do it for you as well. The do i do not underestimate it when it comes from your parents, which means the supplication when your parents pray for you, when they supplicate for you, it is a powerful, powerful supplication. Because if they were to pray against you in a justified manner, it

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is also powerfully against you. When a father prays for the destruction of his or her of his child, when the mother prays for the destruction of her child, it is justified, it is powerful. If it is not justified, trust me, it may rebound back to that particular person while I hypocrisy.

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The Quran says the one who brought evil the evil plot does not be deserved, except by those who.

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In fact, the evil plot is not deserved, except by those who are on that level of evil.

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If you are an evil person, perhaps if someone makes a do out against you or curses you, yes, it may affect you. But if you're not evil, we have parents who sometimes unfortunately, every small thing that happens because their own children, they call them donkey, and they call them dog and they call them everything else. I've even heard people call their children baboons. And I think to myself, well, they look just like you. I wonder what that makes you. So hon Allah. And by the way, when you call someone barbone don't come and lie to me. That means a door in Arabic, we know what you're saying. Allah subhanho wa Taala help us How could you call your own children, the names of animals?

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How could you curse your own child you'll never see happiness in your life. I'll show you you'll see a ma will not show you, my beloved children. If you don't deserve that prayer, it's not going to affect you. So don't let it depress you or stress you it's not going to affect you because you don't deserve it who was wrong? They were wrong. Mashallah, my beloved parents learn to make a good deal for your children even at times of disagreement. Oh Allah soften their hearts Oh Allah bring them back Oh Allah grant them goodness keep on making dua the Prophet sallallahu Sallam may do our for the enemies of Islam and the hearts was softened. Look at Carly didn't when he did the movie around

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the Allahumma. Look at Omar Viola and look at the others.

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They went even the children of the prophets on asylum they were members of the oma they were just members of the opposition actually and the prophets of Salaam pray for them. And the prayer was accepted by Allah, they came forth with the softest of hearts. I'm sure Allah would soften the hearts of our children. If we didn't give up those of our children who might be having bad habits, keep praying for them. Keep trying with them. Try to spend time with your children. Subhana Allah just like we say to the children, spend time with your parents, you will make them happy, my beloved parents. May Allah subhanahu wa taala protect all of us if you want goodness, if you want your

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children to respect you, and to obey you and to be kind to you, you need to learn to obey Allah you need to learn to please Allah and your children in sha Allah will please you by the will of Allah subhana wa Tada.

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We also ask every child who is here today,

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to take a moment

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we asked every child who is here today, whose parents are alive,

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to take a moment to either visit them later today. Or to make a phone call to make a phone call as soon as we're done here to your mother and father, or one of them or both of them and just tell them I love you. I really really miss you. And I want to appreciate the fact that you brought me up when I was little and you really sacrificed for me. May Allah have mercy on you. Will we do that?

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Mashallah, that was quite a good yes hamdulillah trust me it will change your life. Do you know why the mercy of Allah automatically descends upon a person who tries to make his or her parents happy when the Rama of Allah you are asking that Allah has mercy on your parents, the angels are saying Oh Allah have a double mercy on this particular person. And the duo of the angels is much more powerful than your do. Remember that my beloved brothers and sisters So today, don't forget

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Even if you're listening to this lecture later on today, the day that you're listening to it, make a phone call to your parents right now.

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send them a message right now. Tell them how much you love them. Tell them you appreciate the fact that they brought you up, make dua for their mercy. May Allah have mercy on you, my beloved parents, and May Allah open your doors. That's all. What did it cost you nothing. Even if you have a disagreement with your parents, you still do that. See the wonders that it works. And then get into the habit of sending that message every single week, at least if not every day. SubhanAllah Your life will change because when Allah instructed you to do something, and you did it, you are not only obeying the instruction of Allah that would actually bring about his mercy, but you are making

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someone happy. You make someone happy. Allah will make you happy. You make your parents happy, alone will make you even more happy.

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Subhana Allah, if the Hadith says

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urashima

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man or woman will come Command V sama. Those who have mercy, the Most Merciful will have mercy on them. Wow. Those who have mercy on each other, the Most Merciful will have mercy on them, have mercy upon those on Earth, the one in the heavens will have mercy on you. That's the statement of the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him. It's so broad. If I were to have mercy on a random person, Allah will have mercy on me. What if that random person was not just a random person but was my own parent or sibling or child, etc? Or relative? Do you not think that the Almighty will grant you an even bigger portion of his mercy? I am searching for the mercy of Allah and so are you. It doesn't cost

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you much, but there is an effort, a little effort, what is it?

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Make dua for them. Let them know bring a smile to their faces. Allah will bring 1000 smiles to yours.

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I can word it in another way. bring a smile to their faces, Allah will bring a smile to your heart Love Akbar, Mashallah. Learn to be kind to your parents and watch how your children will be kind to you. Let them watch. I always tell spouses, you know, when your children watch you hug each other, perhaps sometimes kiss each other. You know, I'm not talking of those kisses that belong to foreign languages, but I'm talking to I'm talking about something like a pack, etc. If your children see you do that, it's a good thing. They would know how to treat their own spouses one day, they would know how to say words of love. Just today, someone told me you know, I hear my dad, tell me, I really,

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really love your mom. Subhan Allah amazing. Have we told that to our children, I really love your mother. You thought of that, you know how it empowers the child. It strengthens it gives security to the child, it makes them feel so full and so good. I really love your dad SubhanAllah. And it comes from both and you we always go to our children and complain to them about the other party. People make their children counselors when your children are not counselors will go you know, your dad, he's done this. And he's very bad. And he's ugly. And he's doing this and I caught him doing that, and that and that, and so on. And the father comes, you know, your mother, she's not even worried

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about her weight. And she's not worried about this. And why did you make your child a counselor and for what you're the one who gave your wife,

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sue her Allah, all that burden that she's carrying.

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She had the children whose children with yours, and now you're complaining to the same children about another millimeter this way and that way. Some cultures look at it differently. They say, well, there's more to love here. Mashallah. May Allah subhanho, wa Taala, grant us ease.

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These type of things are not meant to be a point of distress. They're not meant to be something to distress the children not at all, you need to make sure that those children come in with a good word. And when they hear it, they will learn to respect you, they'll smile at you. They'll blush when they see you they've learned something good. But sadly, we only scream and yell in their presence. And that's what they learn. They see when you want to marry someone take a step into their home and look at the relationship between the mother and father of the person you want to marry. If it is filled with screaming, yelling, shouting, swearing, etc. That's probably bound to happen in

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your own home at one stage because they haven't seen any better.

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We need to have mercy on our own parents. And we ask our parents to be good role models to us as children. May Allah make it easy for every one of us. My brothers and sisters, like I say when you make a do app for your children, it will be a means of their goodness inshallah. So don't use this application. You have to destroy your kids rather use it to build them and then you get the supply

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vacation from your own children for you. So Grandma, I would love it if my children may do it for me on a daily basis. And then we have those parents who passed on.

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If you have a mother or a father who's passed away, number one, I want to give you some good news.

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For those of you who are orphans, or who grew up as orphans, I want to tell you the chances of Allah loving you are greater than those who are not orphans, based on the fact that the most beloved unto Allah Himself was an orphan. Allah chose for the one he loves the most, that his father would die prior to his birth. And Allah chose for the one whom he loves the most, that his mother would actually pass away in his infancy. So if you've lost your mother and your father, perhaps it's the love of Allah giving you an opportunity to succeed far beyond those who have both parents Subhana, Allah Subhana Allah, you thought of them.

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And thereafter, as you grow, so panela as you grow, and you see, perhaps you may have lost your parents, like I say, it is your duty to pray for them. The most powerful gift you can give a deceased parent is the simplest thing not complicated, not complicated. When people say my father passed away, what's the best thing I could do to help him? The answer is the simplest thing but shape man comes to you and says, No, that's too simple. I don't think it's gonna work.

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Why? If I were to ask you,

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what do you think is the best thing that would help your father or your mother who's passed away, you probably would come up with a list of very, very difficult things. But the Hadid says the best that you could do for those parents of yours, under normal circumstances, is to pray for them to pray for their forgiveness. That's it.

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You pray for their forgiveness. Imagine I just say Oh, Allah forgive my father, he's passed away all I grant him genital for those. And you can repeat that again. And again, and again, no fixed number, no number of days that you need to do that for it's just loose ended. And it's up to you how much you want to say, the more you repeat it, the more your father's benefiting in the hereafter. What to do, just to pray for them. Just to ask Allah forgiveness for them to ask Allah to have mercy on them to grant them Jenna, etc, etc. That is the best thing you could ever do. For those folks have years have passed on. But people say Are you sure just that? Yes. The problem was us. We're not used to

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supplicating calling out to Allah. Allah makes it simple. For us. The easiest thing is the most beneficial thing. But we want to think of complicated things. I remember a certain Brother, tell me, you know, I heard that there's a certain type of grass in Brazil. If I were to get it and put it on my father's grave, perhaps Allah will give him Gentlemen, I said my brother, you'd rather have taken him and put him in Brazil. If that was true.

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Allahu Akbar, I wonder where people come up with overstaying

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May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us is perhaps that father was into football. Allah knows. But my brothers and sisters getting more serious. Look at it, you want your parents to be happy after death, you should try to visit some of their friends. And try perhaps once in a while to inquire about some of the friends that they had when they were alive. The province or settler has taught us this.

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Perhaps visit the old man your dad used to visit before he had passed away. And if you visit the old man, what will happen? You remember your father, you pray for your father and you're actually doing a good deed that your dad had started off and he taught you and then you will have your children do the same one day.

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Spending time with your parents is as important as your parents spending time with you.

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Many of us as parents need help. We need a lot of help. We don't even spend time with our children and we blackmail them into believing that because the Quran has said this and because you're supposed to be good to your parents. Here I am. I can disobey Allah. I can do everything against Allah but you still need to obey me. Where did you get that from? Subhan Allah. May Allah subhanahu wa taala grant us ease and goodness, may Allah open our doors, and May Allah subhanho wa Taala Have mercy on all of us as you notice.

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This is a very, very serious topic. It's a very, very important topic. I've just about started it. And I've just mentioned a few pointers and I've tried to keep it balanced as much as we are speaking about making parents happy. But trust me it's two way traffic. It's not one way traffic and therefore I've chosen to say what I've said today, I pray that it helps us become more conscious of our relationship with Allah. And you made a promise what was it

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you forgot it already. It's only

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Three minutes to phone to contact to communicate or to visit your parents today after this event in Sharla. All right now it is no harm in sending that message and tell them how much you love them and see how your life will change by the will of Allah akuto koyasan Allahu wa Sallim wa barik ala nabina Muhammad subhana wa COVID Subhana Allah Mohammed, a shadow Allah, Allah Allah