Channel: Mufti Menk
Peace and Unity Convention
Intro to Parenting Panel Session
© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.
Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.
Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim In the name of Allah subhanho wa Taala Most Gracious, Most Merciful Alhamdulillah we always praise Allah subhanho wa Jalla wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah Allah Allah He was happy hedge main we send blessings and salutations upon Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, his household, his companions, may Allah bless them and bless every one of us. I mean, my brothers and sisters this afternoon, we have a beautiful collection or a beautiful panel, that inshallah would be addressing this particular topic of parenting, the roles of the mothers and fathers. And in order to make this easy for everyone, I have chosen to speak more on the spiritual
side of it. I'm only going to be speaking for about five to seven minutes inshallah, and I will hand over to my evil colleagues, I have addressed this topic in the past several times, and you may choose to actually see that video on YouTube inshallah, at your leisure. But today, I want to tell you that my brothers, my sisters, when you get to the age of perhaps maturity or puberty, and you begin to develop an interest in the opposite sex, you need to realize that that's where it starts for you to make a dua to Allah subhanho wa Taala you must supplicate many of us don't realize that at that particular age, when we start looking and when our eyes begin to notice things they had not
noticed before. We remove Allah subhanho wa Taala from the equation and this is why I say that is the point where you are supposed to turn to Allah Subhana Allah to Allah.
Wa Gina Tina unit was the 13, EMA or, or grant us from our spouses, our offspring those who will be the coolness of our eyes and make us the leaders of the righteous. And not only that, you supplicate in any language you want asking Allah to bless you with the best spouse because that spouse your view will get married to will become a parent to your child by the will of Allah subhanho wa Taala. And I'll pause for a moment to pay tribute to those who don't have children, even though they may have been trying for many years. It is our last choice. Allah decision, Allah's mercy, Allah, divine wisdom, we surrender to it, we will keep trying knowing that Allah only does what is best for us. If
Allah knows this is going to be our ticket to gender. So it will be don't become depressed at that go and look after children. And I've seen so many who look after children who may not be biologically theirs, but they become closer to them than their biological parents at times. May Allah subhanho wa Taala help us all. So I pray that Allah bless you all with offspring say I mean
look at these young men who are not even married saying I mean, Mashallah. It's good, you must say I mean, because it is an inclusive to have, it actually means if you say, oh, Allah blessed me with pious offspring and you are not yet married, it starts off with the good wife or the husband automatically. So my brothers and sisters, don't forget that
aspect of it, this supplication call out to Allah. And on top of that, make sure you know how you are looking where you are looking for your spouse. Because many people complain about parenting, but my brother, my sister, you make such a big mistake in your choice of a spouse and the parents out there. You sometimes make mistakes when you say no to your children when they want to marry a righteous person when they want to marry someone who is a good man or a good female just because they come from the north or the south or they don't belong to your particular tribe. You say no, by doing that you have destroyed the cornerstone of positive parenting or successful parenting because
they will remain issues between the spouses. If you have not resolved your matters as husband and wife, how do you expect to show or to lead that particular offspring that Allah blesses you with in a way that is exemplary or that is good when you have not even solved your own matters. So this is why I call out to parents from this particular platform to make it easy for your children to manage
Those who are decent reasonable people no matter what their race, what their color, what their time etc etc that is all besides the point Isla
de novo Luca who has a widow. If someone comes to you with a proposal, their level of Deen is okay they are level of Atlantis okay it is acceptable to you then you let your children be married do not prohibit if you do the same narrations is in lotta Fallujah config will only have a certain area, if you're not going to do that they will be great chaos and corruption on earth, and who will have caused it. Unfortunately, the parents themselves so remember this, it's important I started that point because I believe firmly that the choice of your spouse plays the biggest role in whether or not you're going to manage those children by the will of Allah. Ultimately, it's the help of Allah.
also those who are married, you know, you might be just looking at me to say, oh, gosh, I've already made these mistakes. Now what inshallah? Well, we will be hearing how best we can develop correct ourselves, listen with an open mind inshallah. And we will be able to benefit the floor will be open very soon for your interaction as well. I want to continue with that. Like I said, we make the right decisions, the right choices do not be, do not be attracted to a materialistic spouse or someone who has succeeded is successful solely and only from a materialistic angle or perspective. Because if that's the case, remember, one day they may not have that, or one day, they may betray you as a
spouse, or you may find habits that become so bad that you would have to ignore sometimes I know of many emails I receive, unfortunately, from this country, mostly, unfortunately, from this country with some of the sisters complain. I've got a very good husband, but he drinks alcohol. And he sees it's like nothing is wrong. He can move and he and he goes out with any woman he wants. But he's a good man in the house. He reads his Salah, I was shocked when I couldn't believe it is this what is really happening. I hope it's not true. My beloved brothers, let's never let that happen. When Allah blesses you with well, lovey, lovey, it is going to be your ticket either to Jenna, or out of
It's up to you to choose where you want to be. When like when Allah blessed you with something, cut out your bad habits, cut out your you're wrong, when is your sinful behavior, cut it out, it's never going to help you cut out this arrogance, look after your spouse and your children and yourself in the process. So my beloved sisters, you see when we go and even brothers, when we go for that which Allah has told you to watch out regarding. And when we fall into the trap, for example, you only look at beauty and nothing else, you know, you have to look at beauty when people read the Hadith, they say, oh, there are four things, you just look at the deed, no, there are four things, five
things, you can look at all of those things. But the the factor that that is the final factor would be the dean, it doesn't mean the name. A woman is married for a beauty or for her wealth or for a family lineage, etc, etc. Or for the dean. So now you marry only for the date, hang on, hang on, hang on, I need to see her. I need to like what she looks like I need to talk to her. I need to be somehow attracted to him. The same applies to her. Some of the cultures sometimes are such that you play no role in who you're going to get married to. The father comes and says Hi, I found this for her husband for you. And the good daughter of pretty blossoming, you know child who is so gorgeous.
And she comes and sees the husband Oh my god. Oh, is this the guy? How do we learn? How do we learn? You know, she fell short of saying ministry because she when she says how the villa we need to be careful. There has to be a spark don't misinterpret the Hadi the Hadith speaks about these things because we're lucky it's important to look you want to be positive parents you have to have a positive union without the positive union How can you be a positive parent by beloved brothers and sisters so when you want your children to get married, ensure that there is some form of compatibility there is a little bit of a spark on either side, you know, you cannot tell them a
candle without a match. So there needs to be some form of a little flame in order to get that candle like me Allah Subhana Allah grant us deeper understanding, say army.
So we make the correct decisions based on the hadith of Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, and guess what the final point I want to raise as my I've spoken for 10 minutes Actually, I really apologize for that, but
The final point I want to raise is, we need to make sure that we become closer and closer to Allah as the days pass. I want the best husband, the best wife, but I don't read Salah. I want a lovely man, but he doesn't want me. You know why? Because he's not looking for a person like me. I want to marry such and such a person does he want to marry me? He's not looking for someone with my qualities. Because why I'm far off the mark Subhanallah I need to get closer to Allah, I need to ask myself, will such and such a person want a person like me? If the answer is yes, in sha Allah, and if those people are closer to Allah, it should develop us in a way that we become closer to Allah.
May Allah make us closer to him. So if you want to look after your children, you start with the spouse if you want the good spouse and you are not fulfilling Salah you have a problem if you if you are not fulfilling the obligations unto Allah, you have a problem. So the point I raised make lots of drought work according to the advice of rasulillah salam we will be hearing a lot of this today inshallah, and you better make sure and I better make sure that as the days passed, I become closer to Allah not further away from Allah subhanho wa Taala. You know, Gone are the days when I'm talking here to parents each other Gone are the days when perhaps we dilly dally a little bit now. There are
children who look up to us for guidance. If we are not going to be striving towards the guidance, we are immature ourselves even though we are 50 and 40 years old. How do you expect those children to be rightly guided? May Allah make us the true role models of our children to begin with? And may Allah subhanho wa Taala bless you all, could only have a masala was Salam ala nabina Muhammad