Don’t Curse Your Children

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Mufti Menk

Channel: Mufti Menk

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Episode Transcript

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Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah who Allah Allah, he was having me and my brothers, my sisters, a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful recitation that we've just heard mashallah very clear, crisp, the meaning of which is absolutely important. So, as much as I was going to say something, and I do have something that I plan to say, but I think it's important for me to start with a little bit of what the verses have given in terms of guidance. So obviously, the best from amongst us, the best from amongst us, whenever you hear Allah or the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him, speak about the best from amongst us. And here we're talking of the Muslims so you already

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believe in Allah. You already follow the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him to the best of your ability.

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And then we want to see who is better from amongst us you'll always notice that

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it is a person whose character and conduct out shines others. Let me give you a hadith the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him says Cairo come in so many generations to come, which means the best from amongst you and the Companions would quickly listen in because they want you to know who's the best from Oman from amongst us.

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Does anyone know some of what the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him has said when he said for Eurocom any one of the narrations can someone say it

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I wrote them

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okay, that's one Cairo command tal Lama Al Quran Allah Allah Maha, the best from amongst you the one who learns the Quran and teaches it beautiful.

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If you take a careful look at that, the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him.

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When his wife is a shot of the Allahu Allah was asked about his character,

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his character

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What did she see? She said, kind of Hulu COVID Quran, his character, his conduct was the Quran.

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Whatever the Quran taught, that was his character that was his conduct. And yet in the Quran, Allah says we're in Naka, Allah Allah Who Lupin Alvim Indeed you are upon magnificent character and conduct the best so when you're learning the Quran and teaching it to others together with being a Muslim and following the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him one thing that shines is your character your conduct if you take a look at how Eurocom the same

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word the best from amongst you

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in one direction he says Cairo Cairo calmly Lee Cairo completely sir.

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The best from among you the one who's best to his spouse you heard that have you ever come across that? Come on Luton is not supposed to be silent?

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Have you come across it the best form amongst you is the best to his spouse or his wife or his family and in the case of a female your spouse correct

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so mashallah,

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So where exactly does it fit in the best character and conduct here it's saying best to your spouse.

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Well, if you have best character and conduct naturally you're going to be the best to your spouse. So there is no conflict in the to take a look at another narration. Can you come?

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What does it say? Can anyone give me another narration with the term Hiroko Hiroko?

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Okay, let me help you. Since we're in Luton.

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Here Oh come has no luck and

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the best from amongst you are those who have the best character?

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Again, is there any conflict there? Any contradiction? No. Notice how learning and teaching the Quran would automatically make you if you were genuine, arrive upon a very high level of character and conduct and automatically you'd be the best to your spouse and your family members because the term adult starts off with your spouse but it's not only that, it's your circle, the first circle

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and then the Hadith says another narration says the one who has the best character and conduct with everyone is the best person how you do not see the best of all people that's another narration

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and fat will homeliness. What do you think the best of all people is?

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Guess what the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him says the best of all people

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is the most beneficial to the rest of the people. Wow.

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How many people have you benefited in your life? How many do you reach out to? How many do you make feel worthwhile?

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Many of us have a tongue that is

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harsh, hard, abusive, sharp.

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Shouldn't be soften that

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a little bit of inshallah leniency beautiful words, loving words, reassuring words, empowering words, kind words, correct in a beautiful way, speak in a loving way change your tone Subhanallah what happens? You become the most beneficial to others. What did you do? How did I benefit you just by talking to you just by looking at you.

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And I have appreciation.

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That's what it is a word of empowerment or empowerment? Should I say?

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Perhaps I

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looked at you and smile which made you happy inside it made you smile. All of that is the beginning of being beneficial to others.

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And then you have Mashallah.

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being charitable, where you reach out to those who don't have what you have to share with them what you have. That's part of your faith.

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You're not a Muslim, if you don't do that.

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Islam is

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I think one of the few religions where

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in fact, the only religion, the only religion

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where it is a pillar of your faith. Integral pillar, one of the five pillars is to share what you have with those who don't have it.

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Subhanallah if you don't do that, you can't call yourself a Muslim. What's it called zakat? Zakat means Allah gave you 100 Give at least 250 away minimum, if not more.

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Right? What's that? What are you doing? Allah has told you you have to share, we will create people who have a need, and you will have to give them something. And you know what we will do for you in return, we will give you more and we will give you blessings in what you have. You know what blessings means?

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Blessings means that if you, for example, have 100 pounds, when you spend it, the benefit of it is felt by you. And you feel that Subhanallah it was worthwhile. I spent this money it was good. And I made the most of my 100 Right.

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And when there is no blessings, you have 1000 pounds, and you tell yourself a few days later, I had 1000 pounds, where did it go? What happened was blessings. So Allah Almighty has asked us to reach out to others so that you can increase your blessings. Think about others. This is what this verse is saying. Woman so no colon, who can there be better in speech?

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Me manda Illa, Allah Allah, then the one who calls towards Allah, you call towards your maker in whatever way, don't be harsh. When the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him himself, sent his own companions. He was obviously the best, but his companions were also way beyond all of us. Right? He sent them

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to invite people to Islam. And he told them clearly Bashira Wella tuna Farah.

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Speak to them giving good news. Give them a good word. Don't chase people away from the faith.

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Today, when you are struggling with your faith, and you, deep down, you're a Muslim, you want to come to a better position in your relationship with Allah. And as you are struggling, you find the person who doesn't look like they're struggling so much. And they would belittle you, wouldn't they? They would make you feel like you don't even belong here, wouldn't they? They would make you feel like perhaps you're doomed, wouldn't they? Well, if that's the case, they need help before you

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that's what it is. You don't ever do the Prophet peace be upon him says give good news. Don't chase people away.

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Yes sera wala to a Syrah make it easy for people don't make it difficult. Make it easy for others.

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Speak about the good. And Allah will bless you

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draw them bearing in mind, you could have been in that situation. So put yourself in the shoes of others before you open your mouth.

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Don't just

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use the tongue in a way that's going to chase people away. So the Illa Allah calling towards Allah wa May Allah Saleh Han while doing good yourself.

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It's not good enough for me to say, You know what you guys pray five times a day. And yet I am not regular with my prayer. But if I'm struggling with my prayer, do I have the right to tell others to pray? The answer is yes, I do. For as long as I don't make them feel like I'm the one who prays five prayers and maybe more. And you guys need help, because we all need help.

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The same applies to anything else.

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If you're struggling with something, perhaps I'm struggling with something else, you might be struggling with something that is apparent to everyone and I might be struggling with something hidden. But the struggle will continue to the last moment until I breathe my last.

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May Allah make it easy for all of us. I mean,

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so Allah says Allah, Allah Saleh and meaning, while calling others towards Allah in the most beautiful way, remember to keep doing good yourself. Don't forget yourself.

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What color in any mineral Muslimeen. And

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the person who is doing this says that he or she belongs to the Muslims or to Islam.

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And do you know today we have the issue of so many different sects, and we do know

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some of them, and we do no details of some of them. But ultimately, try not to take people out of Islam.

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Don't do that in a rush not at all. Be careful. Because the strength of the believers is in their togetherness. And if there is a weakness, we can work on it. If there is a deviance, we can help correct it. And if we happen to be doing something that's wrong, we should take the correction. May Allah Almighty make it easy for all of us. So the last verse that he actually read, or the second last verse, was about how shaytan comes to everyone. And when he does come to you, what should you do? Well, my hands come in a shade line in Islam, when Shavon comes in to try and attack you by the Whisper.

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He whispers things, all sorts of things, fight it off, and say oh to bIllahi min, Ash shaytani R rajim. firsta is Billa seek the protection of Allah from Shaytaan the accursed

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and this address is from Allah, through the prophet Muhammad peace be upon him for all of us. Whenever shaitan comes to you, what should you do with his whispers You should say,

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Oh, do bIllahi min ash shaytani R rajim. I seek protection in Allah from Shaytaan the accursed and continue saying that and believe that Allah will protect you, and continue. So it means shaytan will come and does come to you and i

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No matter how holy or pious you think you are shaytan does come to you every day, in different ways.

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He might come to you in the form of a thought he might come to you in the form of anything.

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So you start thinking things, bad thoughts, from shaitan you're still a human being, you're still a Muslim, you're still a good person, seek the help of Allah and continue and move ahead and don't stop where you are.

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You know, sometimes people say,

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I can't pray anymore, because I don't know whether I read one or two. And I'm confused all the time.

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And so I tell them, do you know it happened even at the time of the Prophet peace be upon him to the Companions and they asked him and there is there are several Hadith that mentioned this either salah or Hadoken, Villa Mia de, our hidden salah, detainee, etc. If any one of you is praying and you forget whether you did one or two, then you should do so and so and he explains what to do. Why did he say that? Because it happened then too. So congratulations.

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Mashallah. You're just a human being.

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I had someone say, Well, you know, when I start praying, I think about all sorts of things. And that's why I don't want to pray.

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I think that happens to nearly all of us. Soon as you start praying shapen tries to distract you. You know what? Do your best and fulfill the Salah and it's okay. Allah will accept it. You try your best. Yes, you did. Don't worry that leave the rest to Allah. Did you do your best? Yes, I did. Well, that's okay. Same applies to when you're washing your hands and making wudu it's okay, do your best. Try and follow it to the best of your ability and capacity. The rest is upon Allah.

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May Allah make it easy for all of us. So remember this, don't allow shaytan to trap you. That's why the verse was so important. When I when I heard it, I told myself, you know what shaytan comes to all of us in the way to protect ourselves from Chapin is to ask Allah to do that for us. First they've been there.

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And the last verse that was read was actually a verse of such them. Where

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Allah Almighty makes mention of how some of the arrogant, refused to prostrate to Allah.

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And Allah makes mention of how from his signs are

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the sun and the moon and so on.

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And how

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we shouldn't be prostrating to all the creation of Allah, but rather to Allah alone, so may Allah Allah Almighty, grant us from that goodness,

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my brothers and sisters yesterday, for those of you who might be following on YouTube, and we normally try to put the talks up as soon as possible. I spoke about supplication. And in the evening, I received some messages from some people about dua

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to say, my mother keeps cursing me.

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And I feel that it's affecting me. Will Allah accept the curse of my mother?

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Again against me, I want to tell you something very important. Allah will never allow one who doesn't deserve something to be given it because Allah is just but rather, Allah says, Wallah, yeah, he fully Makrooh say ye be a li. You know, when someone plans and plots Allah says, Who is deserving of that plot or plan, or a curse, for example, besides the one who, who is most befitting of it,

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you curse and you deserve the curse. Instead of hitting the person whom you have tried to swipe it at, or throw it at, it's actually coming to you.

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Just like calling people names.

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You call someone a disbeliever. The hadith says

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it rebounds to you stop doing that. Wow, that's very strong. That's why I said moments ago. Don't just remove people from the fold of Islam over every little thing that's there.

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May Allah grant us goodness. So my brothers and sisters

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when we're

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cursing, remember number one. It is not the practice of the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him. There was a time early on when something had happened and a lot of the Sahaba were martyred in a certain way. And he spent some time

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in Salah he would ask Allah to curse those people who had caused so much of harm and damage. Later on. He asked us not to curse and not to be people who curse.

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Don't just throw curses at others.

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They sell me know Billa Annie

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a true believer is not one who just curses some people every little thing.

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And or do they say learn at home pay in a small thing, bro? What happened? For what? It could come back to you? Maybe that's why your life is so messed, because that's the only thing that comes out of your mouth. When something negative happens. Please say a positive dua because that's the moment of acceptance of dua. Do you know that when something really negative happens, a huge accident or the loss of a person or some big loss that happened in your life at that particular moment? The angels are saying I mean to any dua that comes out of your mouth. And if you're going to have a curse come out a swear word that comes up. What do you expect? What's going to come?

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You don't need that say a good dua, my beloved parents rather than cursing your children who are disobedient that was the

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A moment to make a dua for them that Allah guide them and bring them and soften their hearts and make them the coolness of your eyes. That was the moment.

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So don't allow yourself

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even for a moment to curse your own children, no matter where they've reached,

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don't. And if you do, there is a possibility that perhaps you might suffer the consequences of it. At the end of the day, it's your own child. So I thought I'd spend a moment to say

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supplication is absolutely important. I desperately need Allah just like you do, just like everyone else does. Just like my parents and my children and whoever else there is in existence, needs Allah so desperately. We need to understand. We humble call out to Allah was good to us. Good prayers. And another piece of advice.

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seize every opportunity to make a dua to Allah.

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supplicate to Allah at any moment anytime, while you're walking while you're driving in the midst of your speech and while you're talking to each other, a moment may Allah bless you may Allah grant Goodness If you notice, I like to do that a lot in my speeches, right? May Allah Almighty grant you goodness, may Allah grant us good health and cure and so on, who knows when it is the moment of acceptance of dua, it may be at any time and therefore, you will be fortunate that you're two hours plugged in mashallah, you got it? You got it, you hit the jackpot. You know, they say, every Friday, there is a certain time of the day, some of the scholars say an hour, but some of them say no, no,

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no, the term PSA is used, which means a time a time of the day.

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There is a certain time of the day where no matter which dua you've made for as long as there is no sin in the DUA, sin in the domini Oh ALLAH. I'm planning a robbery make it easy for me that's sinful, okay?

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That's sinful, oh, Allah, I'm planning to commit this. Well, you're not going to tell Allah I'm planning to commit the sin. But I want to do this helped me so I don't get caught.

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If there is a sin in it, we don't talk about it. It's not there. If there is coffee at Ryan, Ryan means the listen carefully the breaking of relations. If you're making a DUA to facilitate the breaking of relation, it's rejected.

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According to the Hadith, it's not going to work. That's why I said, you're cursing your child. It's rejected. It can't happen, not from you.

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But if it is deserved,

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it may.

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And that's why the Hadith says, when a father prays against against his own child,

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it's accepted only if it's deserved.

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Only if it's deserved.

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You're really, really harassing your folks, your parents really badly. And one day they say something nasty, it couldn't be accepted. Because you were so nasty. That's why but here I am telling the parents don't do that. Because you know, what could be the moment of acceptance and Insha Allah, your child could be turned to the right direction. You know, they say when you pass away, you have absolutely no say in where your wealth is going to go to a certain extent. You cannot say in your will that I've got five kids one of them was really a nasty character. So I don't want that child to get any of my wealth. You can't say that.

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Why? Allah says, ABA o como, Obinna, Oakland Blatter, de Runa, Johan pakora, Bula qognify.

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Your parents, your children, you don't know who's going to benefit you more in every sense of the verse.

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So wealth wise, you don't know who's gonna die first.

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A father says,

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I want to take all this money and give it to these people so that this guy doesn't get and the father dies.

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Oh, the person dies before the Father can happen. Some of those people have already died before the dead. Now what? So Allah says you don't know. Secondly,

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after you've passed on, what will help you

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say if I die today? What will help me? Well, a few things. The good that I did that is a continuous charity. For example, you taught someone something, knowledge or something of that nature you might have built a masjid drew the well, you might have done some charitable work that will help you write what you did in your lifetime. That was an extended charity, the reward of it continues even after you've died. And the Prophet says wala dues

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Saleh Ania doula who a child who is going to pray for you, a good child who's going to pray for Your forgiveness will benefit you probably the most. So if you have a deceased parent, the, what will benefit you the most is probably. So what will benefit them the most is probably, if you were to raise your hands and say, Oh ALLAH forgive my father, oh, ALLAH forgive my mother. And you can repeat that a million times every day. It's okay, each time the father or the mother will actually benefit.

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So what if the child you didn't like at all and you didn't get along with at all after you died, and they got a share of whatever there was suddenly had a realization, and was the only child who remembered you after your death, the others knew you when you were alive. And after your died, after you've died, the one child you didn't get along with his the only child who's actually done so much for you because they regret it and realize, is it possible or not possible?

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It's possible. So if it is possible, then come on, come on, say a good prayer for your kids. You don't know who's going to benefit you more. You think this guy was a brat? And he was this maybe his bad habits and everything stopped at the moment of your death because they just had this moment of realization. You know what? I'm also going to go, wow, my mom's gone.

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I can't believe it. Let me do a good let me start praying. Has it not happened? I've seen it happening. I'm sure you might have seen it happening. Let me change my life. Why? Because my father's died. But during the life of the Father, you hassle the Father the most, but who's gonna get the benefit of all of that same father? Subhan, Allah Subhana Allah.

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So we ask Allah, and we asked him good things, and we will continue to ask and don't stop. You know, like I said, different timings on a Friday, there is a moment when your DUA is accepted. The same applies

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for a few other days, the Day of Arafah there is a time when you do as accepted.

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I don't know that exact moment on a Friday. I don't know it. So what do I do?

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Well, if I desperately, desperately, desperately want something, I can just keep repeating it throughout the day. So

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it's just not a good solution. And in order to do that, I need to be conscious imagine every Friday this Are you really serious you want what you want. And Are you really telling me you've been asking Allah and you're not getting it? Well, I can tell you, Friday. Repeat the day from the moment you wake up to the moment you go back to bed. I'm quite sure you're going to be getting that moment inshallah. But together with ya, you need to know. seek the forgiveness of Allah for your shortcomings. Yes, you're a human. Yes, I'm a human. Yes, we have faults. Yes, we have sins. Yes, we're not proud of some of the things we've done. But we didn't do them, out of defiance of Allah,

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we did them out of the weakness of man. So therefore, we have hope. Allah says Don't lose hope in my mercy. No matter what you've done, no matter who you are, no matter where you've been, no matter what happened in your past, your past is your past. That's what it is. Allah will never ever judge you by your sin when you have repented. I love this. Because people judge you by your sin, even if you change your life after that.

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Allah is the total opposite. Allah is the Most Merciful. He says, I will judge you by your repentance, not by yourself.

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You sought Allah's forgiveness after 70 years of crime, sin. Allah says, I judge you by that last moment.

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And humankind is the other way around.

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You can change your whole life they say this. This is the guy who was jailed for drugs two years. In 1960. Come on, give me a break.

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Allah grant us ease. But it's true.

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So no matter where you've been, if Allah says to one who reverts to Islam in Islam, Maya Dube, Brahma Kubla, who, that Islam when you enter it, it deletes whatever bad happened before that moment. Do you not think the same applies to a Muslim who repent to Allah? Guess what, there is a Hadith with the same words.

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At EBO minute them become a number.

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One who has repented from a sin is equivalent to the one who has no sin.

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Wow.

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Hadith.

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The question is,

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have we repented? Do we repent? Do we understand the Mercy of Allah Allah is looking for any excuse to grant us from his mess

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If

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not everything that happens in your life is punishment from Allah. No, don't be fooled.

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If something happens in your life that seems very negative.

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Ask yourself

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did this thing, bring me closer to Allah or drift me away from

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if it drifted you away from Allah quickly come back because that's how a punishment begins.

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Anything that drifts you away from Allah could be the beginning of a punishment. Even if it's your wealth, you suddenly got a job and you're earning 100k a month.

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100k how often

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a month.

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You might think I'm talking about Zimbabwean dollars that have no value, right? We're talking about quid

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100k a month. If that 100k And it comes to you after you were unemployed for two years, and you struggled and now suddenly, wow. If that drifted you away from Allah, it could be the beginning of your punishment.

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But if it brought you closer to Allah, you became humble, you respected others, you started treating people better.

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That's the favor of Allah.

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The same applies to something negative. You lost a job brought you closer to Allah, it was a blessing. Hang on, Allah has got something big for you in store. So what do I do? I don't give up. I keep trying and I continue.

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And a day will come when Allah will open my doors once again. Notice I keep trying I thank Allah and I continue

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look at those who have less than you. You lost a job diagnose something, a sickness May Allah grant cure to all those who are sick and ill.

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Something happened you lost a loved one involved in an accident so many negatives that could happen to a person you know what if they brought you closer to Allah an inch Wallah, he it's the Mercy of Allah. Allah hates the Mercy of Allah. If it made you humble, if it made you think about your relationship with Allah, that's a good thing come on, he brought you close to Allah. It took one slap to bring you closer to Allah that slap was worth it, man.

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A lot of us my generation are where we are in terms of our faith because we were snapped up when we were kids, but today we appreciate it. I wouldn't like to change a thing. In fact if I probably had 10 More webs or might have been somewhere perhaps in a higher place who knows?

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Allah make it easy Don't worry the young generation these little boys are looking deserter Did I just hear that? You know? No, no, no, no, it's I'm not talking about the new generation talking about long back when corporal punishment was like the flavoring and food Mashallah.

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Oh, if that was the case, Luton, we're going to have a lot of whips when the food comes out just now Mashallah.

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My brothers and sisters, it's such a big blessing

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to be disciplined in a beautiful way, obviously in accordance with the norms of the time and so on. May Allah Subhana Allah, Allah grant us that goodness, so we must thank Allah, we must look at things in a positive light by the will of Allah. And at the same time, keep on calling out to Allah yesterday I said, and I want to end on this note, it's a very, very interesting point where when you make a DUA, when you call out to Allah, it's never, ever wasted. Never. Allah hears it, he heard it, he knows it before you've uttered it, he will give you whatever is best for you. He may give you what you want, immediately the way you want it. Mashallah, if he knows it's not good for you at all,

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he will out of His mercy and love for you keep it away from you. So you cry for a while. After that. Understand, Allah has closed the door, move on.

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If Allah has closed the door, understand that don't stop your life. Because Allah closed one door. Come on, there's about a billion doors in life.

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You have to understand perhaps there is something Allah knows that you don't go and listen to the talk. I don't want to repeat everything but yesterday's talk, and the day before as well. We spoke about supplication mashallah

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I remember ending with a supplication and I want to make it again because I said, we ask Allah to put it in the hearts of our brother to give me five more minutes to speak. That's what I said. Okay, happening. Look, second time I made the DUA accepted straightaway. hamdulillah Allah grant us goodness, I thank Allah for softening your heart brother might take a few more minutes than five

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by what? So this is what we say that we call out to Allah.

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Allah answers your prayer, and he knows it. And he gives you either what you want or better than it, he never gives you worse than it better than it means. Sometimes I'm calling out to Allah, asking him for something, he knows it's bad for me, not only does he keep it away from me out of His mercy, and in my small little capacity, I desperately think that it is something so good for me. And Allah says, that's the worst thing ever. If I give it to you, you will regret and you will really, really, really be depressed. So I'm going to keep this away from you. But as a result of your love and your DUA and your conviction in us, we've given you 30 Things that you didn't even ask for. Wow. So your

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health, your eyesight, perhaps your intellect, your successes, maybe some of your wealth, maybe a beautiful business deal. All of that could be a result of dua you were making for something else altogether.

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That's Allah's mercy. He says this, we may replace it with something better for you. That's what he says.

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Something else better free, or we might keep it for you and give it to you in the hereafter.

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So keep on calling out to Allah, for the smallest things call out to him. It's very beneficial. Every morning you get up ask Allah to take you to the evening. ask Allah to give you a beautiful day. We get up Oh Allah, I've woken up you've given me this beautiful day helped me to go through this day in a beautiful way. Let everything be positive let me gain and not lose. Let me come closer to you and not further. Let me be a means of the benefit to others and not the means of loss and destruction. That people pray for me and not against me. Because my brothers and sisters let's be honest, some of us carry ourselves in such a way that our own family members pray that we die

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alone.

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Don't they

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Masha Allah and Luton they don't

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Yes, but it happens when someone is hassling you so much Oh ALLAH.

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Oh Allah take him away. And when you hear the person's passed away before you say him, by mistake, you said hamdulillah Sorry, what did you say brother in Allah Subhana Allah forgive us shouldn't happen. Anyway, my brothers and sisters,

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may Allah Almighty help us to get closer to him in every way. It's very nice to have come here for this motivational evening. I pray that we are motivated, at least in a small way to do something good, not just for others, but to be better people, to have hope in the mercy of Allah to try and improve ourselves on a daily basis in our relationship, not just with Allah Almighty, but with the rest of the creatures that he has made human beings as well as animals and everyone else. And we pray that Allah Almighty accept our good deeds and grant us paradise, without reckoning Aquila ko Leha wa sallahu wa salam ala Nabina