Mohammed Hijab – Honest reaction to Honest Tea Talks on Polygamy

Mohammed Hijab
AI: Summary © The speakers discuss the negative impact of "rousting woman" movement on men and women, including pressure to react and the need for women to hold their positions and defend privacy. They also touch on the importance of practicingoniology and avoiding dysfunctional behavior. The conversation covers the theory that sex is a response to physical attraction and that "one person" problems can be related to "one thing" problems. The speakers emphasize the need for action and avoiding hoping for forgiveness. They also discuss the concept of "one thing" and the importance of identifying and addressing "one thing" problems.
AI: Transcript ©
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Your brothers and sisters in Islam net from Norway are establishing a masjid a Dawa Center. This center this Masjid this educational institution will act like a beacon of light calling the Muslims in Norway back to the essence of the slum. So give generously and Allah azza wa jal

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Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah better care to your brothers and sisters and dear friends, you are on the right channel, this huge option on my channel. But we've got a very, very

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interesting thought there was this I mean, this is my channel, you you know, your hijack the introduction? How dare you, when I'm talking, don't raise your hand below this level. Yeah.

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I wouldn't want to raise my hand. Because you know what, raise my hand it will learn somebody.

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Okay, so basically, we've got a very interesting video, this is a video that we're gonna react to ensure I think it's very, very beneficial. And potentially the family unit, it tends to divorces, if there's a lot of stuff that almost really going through of the breakdown of the family unit due to feminism, and God knows what else so before we start wanna make some disclaimers, our intentions, manager of intentions is not ill, we do not mean to come here, or like, put the sisters down. There are sisters, you know, like they say, you know, water is thicker than blood and Iman is bigger than,

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sorry, water, blood is thicker than water, and the man is bigger than blood. So they are our Sisters in Islam, and we want the best for them. However, there are things that are said whoever is from our sister, a brother that needs correcting, we have to correct so we want to do that in a nice manner. Inshallah, we want to start off by reacting. It's a 34 minute episode, but we want to do one more push up, please. I think that you know, like nowadays, we're seeing more kind of like, I would call it the Gender Wars, we're kind of living in the age of the Gender Wars, because the red pill movement is its effect on Muslim people. Obviously, feminism is affecting Muslim people as well. And

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what I think is very important that before starting, you know these kinds of episodes, especially coming from the Muslim paradigm, is that we are attempting to follow the paradigm of Islam, the Quran, the Sunnah, the 1400 years worth of tradition, tradition, this is if this is the aim, then we need to kind of like make sure that everything is filtered through that lens. If it's not, then clearly there must be refutation. And I do believe that this video

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definitely satisfies the threshold of refutation. It does and we will tell you why it does. And when we do see a reputation at the end of the day, reputation is part of our religion. I mean, we can be refuted, you know, you know, we have some and we have been refuted, we will probably continue to be refuted. We have not as long as it comes from a sincere place, not from opportunistic people. That's a different story. So let's get into Inshallah, and you can see for yourself, guys, what we have, that concerns, not us, but the Ummah at large, the environment around polygamy, and what happens in the aftermath of it

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is really toxic and judgy and negative. There's a lot of pressure to react in a certain way. There's a lot of pressure to accept, and that being like the, it's like, that's the automatic position. If you're a Muslim, you accept what God allows. So why are you struggling? Like what's wrong with you? And it's bringing your faith into question and you're, I hear it over and over. I want I love Allah, I love this faith. This is something that Allah subhanaw taala allowed, why is it breaking me?

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And I think that's, that's what I want to talk about today. So women are questioning themselves questioning their level of faith, because it is something that is breaking them is that been the experience that you've had with people that you've spoken to and worked with? I think that it's it's an opportunity to put a wedge between a woman and Allah subhanaw taala if she thinks that it's being positioned that Allah azza wa jal allowed me to do this to you. Right? So it's like the spiritual abuse when something's going to happen. And then I say I have this God card that says that I can do it to you. So if you have a problem with you have a problem with God, right? Okay, just to be just

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before the video starts, because we don't want this to be like you didn't put a beginning bit in the beginning bit that make it very categorically clear. They do not have an issue with polygamy itself, it is from Allah. But when we watch the video, we yet to see they said they wanted to touch upon the way the plugin is done the wrong way. So we're going to see if they even touch up on that. Just to give that disclaimer, they said that now going straight to this. I think what she said is highly problematic because she is not giving an example of where there is. There is a miscarriage of justice from an Islamic paradigm. She's just talking plainly about polygamy as an institution or as

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something a form of marriage that Islam allows. And then she says that she uses key words which I think are quite disturbing.

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And ones which we've seen being used in feminist circles. And I do believe this is the kind of micro feminism, where she starts by saying that there's spiritual abuse, okay, spiritual abuse, why is God doing this good the God card? Well, the truth of the matter is this is, first and foremost, there are many things in the religion of Islam in the relationship context, whether symmetrical or asymmetrical, which can cause pain to people, okay, whether it's psychological pain or otherwise, and which are allowed and which, quite frankly, we're not seeing any noise from individuals that will make videos like this. And I'll give you just one example to, to kind of make it clear.

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Take an example of a woman and I'm not saying caveat this, it's asymmetrical.

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That In other words, it can't be done to the other way around. Or and I'm not saying also that it's like for like, so put these two caveats that aside, if you take a woman, for example, that wants to get married to a man, yeah. Okay. If she wants to get married to a man, and, and let's say, for example, the man is from a particular tribe, a particular ethnicity or particular race, and her mother is totally against such marriage, her mother,

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maybe she doesn't like the man maybe she has even justification from her perspective not to like them. She feels like this man is no good for her daughter. Yet the daughter decides to proceed with the marriage,

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at the expense of her mother's well being, let's say even for the sake of arguing, or let's just say at the expense of others, happiness, contentment, approval, whatever word you want to use.

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This actually does happen in society, I think it's more sociologically, potentially more sociologically widespread than polygyny itself.

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But despite the fact that this is the case, in this scenario, we don't find any of these sisters or anybody in general, considering this to be morally aberrational, from within Islam or outside of Islam. In other words, if a woman makes a decision, which has the net effect of causing some, or a severe level of discomfort, anxiety, depression, or any other word that you would like to use, it's not seen as spiritual abuse. It's not seen as spiritual abuse because Islam allows it, despite the mother's wish. I'll give you another example which is less sociologically prevalent, but still something which is Sharia allows, if a man sees a wife, his wife in bed with another man, the Quran

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clearly talks about a process of Lyon, which actually happened with the sahaba. It happens, it's been recorded in history, which basically allows the woman to have the last say, and therefore no action to be taken against the woman at all. In other words, there's no retributive justice, that he has just seen his wife, let's say, having * with another man. But there is no retributive justice. Islam allows is no retributive justice on a material level and Islam allows that, despite the fact that it causes pain to men, this is still within the relationship structure. In this case, there is asymmetry. So let me just get this right, because we need to make one more example on this, okay. A

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man sees his wife in bed with another man. Yes, having six years, he goes to the Messenger of Allah has harbor and says he said this. And he's expecting I'm sure the prophet to Yanni understand. I'm talking about the Quran itself. I know, I know. But just so they understand this is that the Prophet peace be upon him says that I'm going to slushie for slander, can you imagine on top of adding salt to the moon, and then on top of that, what happens is the ayah comes down saying what they did for us each and the last off will be that Allah is crispy upon them. And this woman actually does that. And she totally got the point being painful, when that will be very painful. But the point is, is

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not spiritual abuse. And the reason why it's not that we're using the God card or spiritual abuse, despite the fact that it hurts the man is simply because Islam allows Exactly. I'll give you a third example. Right, exactly. That's the point. The third example and this may be controversial. Maybe many people don't know this. But if for example, a woman is married to a man, and she divorces him and an after hide this complete, she marries his brother blood brother.

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Now that's gonna hurt the man. It's not obviously the opposite can happen as well. Yeah. And once again, I'm not claiming it's asymmetrical. Yeah. But what I'm saying is, despite the fact that it will hurt them, and it doesn't mean it's morally illegitimate, or it's now it literally abuse is a spiritual abuse. Now, it's clearly in the pretext, not even in the subtext of what these women are saying that just basically engaging in this Act itself is a kind of spiritual abuse. This is verging on coffer. I'm very sorry to say, to use that kind of language with an institution that Islam has allowed. And she's not talking about the abuse of it, because I've heard this clip more than once.

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Yes, they're not she's talking about the institution itself. Yes. This is verging on Cofer. I'm sorry to say, I'm not saying she has fallen into coffer. I'm not saying she's a Kaffir. Just be clear. I'm saying this is verging on cover, that she is flirting with disbelief by speaking of

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Have an institution that the Prophet of Islam himself, he engaged in that he did it himself polygamy with nine different women, we have clear evidence that some of them were discontented, at least at some point, let's come to that. But despite that it's not seen as using the god called spiritual abuse. This tone, I believe, is highly problematic. It is it is. And it's totally unfair, exactly, let's carry on. So we can just get a full grasp on what's going on here. Because I'm still looking for the problematic practice of polygamy, which they were going to talk about. That's dangerous, especially because we're talking about it not being executed properly. We have the example the

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Prophet sallallahu alayhi salam, we know what it's supposed to look like. So in the cases where it doesn't look like that, and the woman has an aversion to it, or she's struggling, or there are conversations that aren't being had, there's support that's missing. There. There are spaces where she's being shamed and judged, and sometimes ostracized by the community for taking issue with it.

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bullied into making a particular decision or not making a particular decision. We need to talk about that. Yes, I think it's really important that we talk about the fact that these sisters it when it when it's not executed properly,

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that they are now trying to manage the trauma, of being betrayed, of being lied to, or being deceived. They're now having to manage a completely different dynamics in their marriage in their family. And then going back to what you said on top of that, to now be shamed spiritually, because there's something wrong with their faith because they're not just smiling about it and accepting it. It's layer upon layer upon layer of trauma.

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And like I said, right at the beginning, when not saying that polygamy is wrong, polygamy is possible. Let's just rewind a bit. Okay, so firstly, it's to me it's turning into a horror movie. Yeah, absolutely. trauma. Bullying.

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Betrayal, betrayal.

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What was the other one? She has spiritual abuse? Yeah, to me, it's just turning to an absolute horror. Now, I understand you're compensating actually is a horror for a woman. No problem. And nobody said it won't be we know now she used for example of how the Prophet used to do it. Okay, so this one is how to profit solid solid money. Do you know that Ashley and her was was come with she made food plates and the Sahaba imagine the profit seemed the companions. Imagine in your house with the boys you sit with the boys. And then your wife comes in and you have a plate of dish unintentionally Barbie otherwise? And she smashes the plate in front of everybody. Bang? She smashes

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You're talking about how the Prophet done? It? Does that this is the best. These are mothers, the best of woman to work walk this earth one of them. Yeah, she's behaving like this. This, this, this, this whole process of thinking that polygamy is going to be something that's going to be like hunky dory, Rosie, it's not the case. These things can happen. It shows you that if a man gets into this, these things can happen as long as the woman is not transgressing the point is this. I want ask a very simple question. What is because, again, given a disclaimer against one against polygamy, you turn it into a horror movie? How could you be against it? All? All these words have like, you know,

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big words, you know, bullying, etc, etc. Look what you've turned into if a sister her husband is getting into polygamous, you watch this, you will destroy your house, you will your response will destroy the house. Because let me tell you something, people can easily get manipulated, okay, especially the size that you live in. If I have if, for example, somebody suffers from a trauma, for example, okay, this was a mother who lost a child, and she goes to a household to get some, you know, for them to, you know, consoler and, you know, and imagine they added to a burden, and I said, Oh, your child's gonna be in hellfire, or have you aided that or have you ate it? made it easy to

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burden so for added burden? I think that's exactly what you're doing. And the point is this the most simple question. As men, I make it very clear, I've said this publicly. I'll say again, okay. Every man is polygamous. Any man that is not polygamous is a lie. Yeah. So to think that this is how I envision in their mind they think but there was one guy out there every person practices polygamy, or is polygamous within the nature, Muslim or non Muslim. I wanna ask the simple question, please tell us because I can use the comments. Okay. Tell us the correct way to do it. And if you can tell us a quick way to do it. And if we do it, will it be happy? No. So then what is the discussion at

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hand? It's a good question. And in fact, the Quran makes it clear we're entitled to untitled in the Nyssa la Halston, Falletta middle column after the raw kalamalka The Quran says you will not be able to do justice between your wives and even if you try but it doesn't say therefore this has stopped doing your spiritual abuse Exactly. It didn't say therefore stop using the God card and there was this and therefore it says fella Tammy Lucado don't declined so much. So you leave the other one hanging is giving you practical advice. Pragmatic is I'm afraid to say that this conversation here as you correctly said, If identified and characterized correctly, if these women here

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are actually characterizing an institution with the most negative superlatives. Most negative adjectives, with most horrible of context. I'm afraid to say that this is anti resilience. Like if you want to get someone tougher and stronger in life, you don't do so by polygamy is a difficult thing for women to do. Let's be honest. You said it yourself. For example, what you correctly said is that when you know and I shall not do Aloha, unless you broke the clay, and no, we actually commented about this in his shot. Yeah. Yeah, he says that. This is minute, bottle, or the Yanni something, something something similar to that. He's saying this is from something that she had

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done, which is involuntary actions, and she's not held to account for it.

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Yeah, there you go. Islam is a religion of mercy. Okay. But having said all of that, to be honest, if you collate all of the examples of where there has been transgressions like this, or there have been mishaps or whatever, from the Mothers of the Believers who haven't moved the 1000s, nobody of the 1000s you will find that doesn't maximum Yes, yeah. What what we're dealing with here is a situation where individuals find it okay, to actually hold their husbands judge, jury and executioner as hostage to some kind of injustice that perceived injustice they think they're doing to them. There is nothing inherently unjust about being in a polygynous situation. Yes, there is as

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much inherently unjust in being in a polygamous situation as there is of marrying a man who your mother doesn't want you to marry. Yes, even though she's upset. Yeah, if you are unhappy at the fact that your husband did something to hurt you. You should also be unhappy with the millions of women out there in the Muslim world, who in some cases, their mothers, some cases their father, because as we know, some mothers don't even need the Wali right, like the Hanafi method was on in order for them to catawissa and other methods removed the well if he's being unreasonable. So it's conceivable that the father doesn't even get a say, or is removed from the is removed from the equation when it

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comes to marriage. And he is very unhappy. But a woman's right is spoken about them. It's not a woman's responsibility. Exactly. It's almost privilege and her independence. Yeah, it's not spiritual abuse has nothing. You see, even if the mother is frail and old and a woman herself, it's not seen as spiritual abuse or traumatic, and how can you as a woman, get married and put your mother in such traumatic experiences? This is the kind of consistency that is required. If what we're saying here is tomorrow is something okay, is to look at the detriments that it causes someone psychologically at the expense of someone else. Yes. It seems to be that number one, they don't

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really have their morality and moral theories and compass in order number one, number two, sorry, sorry to say this, but it does seem to be an in cleared issue, a submission issue and Islam issue. It's an issue of submission and Eman. If you truly believe in Allah subhanaw taala and you believe in his rulings, I'm sorry to say and you and you have full faith in that and yes, did what Allah said when he said oh, the whole of Islamic Kapha coming to Islam altogether. Okay, good. You cannot describe the situation Okay, of living in a marriage which potentially began all your rights as a first one. Yes. In such traumatic fashion. Well, they well they polygamy is the most beautiful thing

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that has been stipulated by Allah because it lays down protocols how to protect the look this this might sound crazy. As sisters, I will be assisting you guys. I will sisters while I was seeing this, because we love you guys for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala. We're just trying to make you understand something, okay. If you are, if you want woman empowerment, and you care about your core sisters, polygamy has been sent as a protocol to help defend the rights of the second, third and fourth wife, who in no Muslim turns or even said, I see some Muslims, men who practice in one way who have psychic mysteries and girlfriends, Allah stipulated that if the man wants to go and do that

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he does it in the right way. But only when you're speaking to a father during the marriage given him or her and asked in the marriage not hidden. You should be at the forefront. forefront of defending this because as a non Muslim woman, a man if he was watching this, I'll say this is horror movie. This is this horror this polygamy this hour, I will be lying to Shannon. I will say this. Yes, this is an actual not what is spiritual abuse on the person that's watching. Yes, because even when it comes to someone, they'll think they'll say, You know what this is because of you spiritually.

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bankrupt me, I'm finishing. No, no, no, let's, let's get this. Let's carry on. We went to liking this and responding and fitting into what you need to fit into, or else there's something wrong with you. And I think on the, you know, for a woman who identifies as practicing and religious, okay, some people are in a position where they don't want to talk to a mental health professional they don't want so let's look for answers in the Dean because this is something that the religion brought. So I need to find answers there. And when you start to search and see if you look up Polygamy In Arabic and in English, and you want to see what the scholarship has to say about it, the

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attitude is less than helpful. There is a little bit of giggle culture. Yeah, the women get jealous. And it's not being taken seriously and you real

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Is that okay? There is no one in the religious context, who has my back on this, in fact, the way that they're talking about it, it's very surface level, and it stops at that this is actually allowed in the religion. And of course, you know, the men have to be just and of course they do do, but we're not talking about it seriously, there's no nuance there is no,

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there is no consideration for the woman's position. Besides, you know, so you have to be patient, because if a woman stepped out on her marriage,

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the vicious poisonously, throw her out and get

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you he could speak on camera, you know, but in a man's position, as long as we get a paper from the mosque, and we cover it up, I think what she said in the beginning, there was extremely dangerous. And she said that, well, if you do, I'm paraphrasing, but if you're doing a search in English, or an Arabic, you'll find that there's not it's not helpful. And there's a Google culture and all these kinds of things, giving us the impression that she's already done this, this this work, and that she's she's looked at all of the resources that in English that are available, and all the resources that are out there in the Islamic tradition, because if we're talking about scholarship, we're not

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talking about the last 20 or 30 years. We're talking about the last 1400 years. We and by the way, that would include I Isha and the Mothers of the Believers that would include the female scholars, yes, which she has forgotten about, quite frankly, in her in her tirade, but what I'm saying here is to put people away from the religious discourse in favor of something else. If not, deviants then what is it? Now this this this very dangerous because the thing is, what's being told is here is this Islamically we're bankrupt. There's nothing to offer here. Exactly. And then she talks about a quote once you mentioned the beginning about coaching that you say or something like therapy or

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something along those lines. I mean, what you wanted to do go to the go to the non Muslims. I mean, yes, you can. There's nothing wrong with you if you have certain issues. But what you've done is you've empty Islam has nothing to offer on this matters. I just finished the Islam don't treat it as this plea of psychological. Yes, it has nothing to offer like as if Allah the Quran, sunnah has nothing to offer. Now we're going to have to go to these therapists, whoever they are. God knows more of Tommy story, that sister was going through something she went to this therapist, most therapists in all the states were exploring sexuality go stick around. Yeah. Let's go to these

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people. They go to individuals. I'm not gonna say too much. Let's suppose your husband is going through is getting married a second wife? Yeah, you go to a therapist. And you see this therapist, my husband got married again. What if it's gonna say, it's gonna give you ways of dealing with it? No, she's gonna, they're gonna give you deal ways of destroying it. Yeah, let's be honest. Yeah, as a Muslim woman, if you are so used to it and in your eyes, I see junk in your eyes. But

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it can be the case you have a neutral therapist that won't get involved in massage. It's not no pullback. But no, you're right. The point stance which is that she is clearly pushing people away from the religious discourse is not of course not offering them she's saying that this does not have resources for your psychological concerns, which is which is dangerous. The thing is, if she has a small piece of street, there's a few sisters who have done the hijab, they are believing women who feel like we have to believe they feel Allah, if they are coming and saying this, you're actually one we're gonna expect from a non Muslim woman. If the believing woman are coming and giving our

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sisters this advice. I'm so sorry. I'm not saying they intentionally have a malicious intent. I do not mean that. But if you guys can be so it's an emotional statement. So I've not walked around sooner. I feel emotional statements. And if you're

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okay, okay. Okay, if that's the case, if you guys have mentioned in this assistance, imagined ecosystem coming to you guys, and thinking HIV, Muslim believing what advice is gonna give me my husband was second wife. I swear to God, the woman leaves the meeting, blackmailing her husband, probably using the kids against him, he will do all kinds of stuff. Why? Cuz she will say like, they say it because you've done this to me, and spiritual abuse and bullying. That meeting? Yes, this is obviously the thing is the issue is very worse when she starts saying that the the scholars or whoever is religious clergyman, they say,

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you know, let's be patient and she says this only

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patients patients is one of the deepest ones with patients is one of the most death and important parts of Islam. Yeah, aspects of the religion of Islam. So what I'm saying is that if someone's giving you the advice, yeah. Which Allah gives you the Quran, yes. Which is what tell us all this Huck with also the sub, literally will tell us all the sub exhort one another to patients and your ridiculing them and whether or not you're ridiculing them on the basis that they are doing exactly what the Quran tells them to do by the word and you think you're following the Quran or your own design Allah academics or someone like Allah says in the Quran in nama illusory you throw in an

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illusory Yeah, Aki will lie when Allah says something very lead with hardship comes ease, indeed with hardship comes ease. Wallahi Wallahi if a sister comes to me and says My husband got

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married again. I'll ask her some basic questions. So does he pray? Yes. As you practice good, is he holistically hope in totality? Yes. Does he provide does all this kind of upheaval essentially, stay with him, sister, Wallah, he'll add him. You go these sisters. They listen to their friends these friends. Okay. Well, he did that to you. Ah, please shut up. Shut up. Yeah, don't act like your husband or polygamous. Don't act like your husband is not doing it in either. We hope you do this in the halal way. Yeah, so acting like your husband, every man is polygamous. You're gonna destroy the house sister. You're gonna believe it and destroy your house. And you know, guess what? Those

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friends are not gonna be there for you. I promise you the reason I'm saying this this you get in a hype and believe the sisters etc. Now they can say something. And please be they're gonna come to you guys are men, it's easy for you to say oh

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okay, what does Allah say that we as men have to do with the maintenance and the protectors? No problem. That means when a feed comes to the house, perfect. Do I send my wife? Am I going? Am I Am I the maintainer? I pay for the bills. electricity gas.

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You don't do this?

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100 kosher for my wife who's watching this? She knows Wallahi I do not like I tell her. She loves being a mother. It's the best in what light as he happens in that in the eyes when she's with our kids. Yeah. The point is this problem on top of this when a war happens, what's happening in Ukraine? Yeah, what's happening? But even the transgender woman have been stopped. No, no, no, you're a man. No, you're a man. No. Yeah. I'm gonna ask a simple question, bro. If we are cool, let's see if it was optimistic. Let's see. Yeah. And we we attend? Do you love going to?

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Me personally, I'm asking

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do you look forward to go into no one? Do you prefer to go in and say my limit come off? You know, what, am I not come home?

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actually forget I'm getting I'm with you early. Okay. Imagine you don't even come home at all. And you'll imagine the foot for every man we have here. Imagine your wife might go like, Oh, if I pass away. My wife's gonna go marry someone else. Which ones? Which one's worse? You have a husband who has another wife, but he's still in your life and you kids. But compared to what we're gonna go through when we go to war, the chance of being killed? Number two, not returning home? Can I come and say, Ah, but this is not fair. Man. This is a spiritual abuse. Man. My wife will be the first one to say get out there and defend history Allah, Allah, I'm not gonna complain. We accept what

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Allah has legislated for us, which is much harder. I'll be honest with unplugging, because we're going to

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show some instances, then how can you come here and use these kinds of words? I think what you said in this, you're getting very emotional. And I will ask you, you know what? Well, it hurts me. The breakdown of the family unit I will say is this boy is like, honestly, yeah. One thing you did say, which is I think completely true. Yeah. Is that individuals like Sister Samira here. Yeah, yeah, she will give advice to other sisters.

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As you would in the end of this episode, you'll see that, you know, sometimes the individual is more important than the whole left, because the individual she will say in her own articulation, what basically in directing the device for divorce, and she moves, we've already dealt with this in previous episodes. So she does this quite often. She seems like it's her favorite type of advice. It's dangerous. But then she is not going to be there, monetarily or otherwise, but the sister that is going to be stuck with, I don't know how many children even if she's alone, with it. Without it, she's not going to be there to, to assist to help, sorry to say, to physically assist to sexually

00:28:21 --> 00:28:55

satisfy, you don't have the facility to deal with all of that, to psychologically be a companion for that individual. And you don't even want or have told your people that are listening to this. Yes, we're very impressionable and probably going through a very difficult situation. Yeah. You haven't even told them you haven't gone as far as to even tell them that in fact, they're in for a long period of grieving and heartbreak. Exactly. Why don't you tell them about the fact that if you leave and if you try and break your home not only will you be grieving, your children will be grieving? There'll be heartbreak everywhere look at this let me is on single parent homes. Yeah, we're not

00:28:55 --> 00:29:27

being the mother what we're seeing is a single mother homes bro, that it destroys the family unit, especially the children how could someone be so self selfish? And look, I don't know if the sisters have gone through personally themselves, but they if they have or they haven't if they have both it is dangerous for you to use something which you may have disliked. Let's suppose organs that you happen the wrong way he did it the wrong way. Then you to come and use that bitterness to take out on the whole OMA because now what you're doing is you're giving advice to the sisters based on something that you live through, which was let's say done the wrong way. Okay, this was the polygamy

00:29:27 --> 00:29:40

that your husband and was the wrong way. And now you're out bitter hurt and you are channeling the energy in such a way that it is destroying the family unit, the households. It's irresponsible behavior. Absolutely. Let's see what else they all say.

00:29:41 --> 00:29:43

Again, I am hearing from sisters

00:29:45 --> 00:29:56

who come crying and distraught, distressed on the floor. My husband has married behind my back.

00:29:57 --> 00:30:00

My husband is you know has told me that he

00:30:00 --> 00:30:02

wants to get married. And I just I just you know what gets me though?

00:30:04 --> 00:30:05

What is a man?

00:30:06 --> 00:30:44

Who does that expecting? I think he's, you know what he's expecting? This is my honest opinion. And this is just my opinion. Well, you know, when we're not shareholders here, we're not saying, you know, this is what this is just a discussion. I believe a lot of men who go and do it in that way, in the wrong way, and they're going to, they're going to people that are going to be saying, but you know what? Check so and so and Islamically you don't have to tell your wife. But anyway, that's a side point. Let's talk morally. You love someone you would you see what she has done here? It was it was it was a very subtle, subtle thing. very nuanced thing. But I think we both saw what happened.

00:30:44 --> 00:31:02

Yes. Yes. Chef, so and so said, but morally, yeah. So basically, what the chef said is immoral. And the moral thing to do is this. Now the issue is deep, because what are we saying that morality is to be found outside of the the factual framework? Yes. Are we saying now morality is to be found outside of the religious framework?

00:31:03 --> 00:31:40

And you know how she just defined it. She said that you if you love your wife, X, Y, Zed, yeah. No, but that's not how we define our morality. In other words, we don't we don't decide what is right and wrong based on the empathetic love that we have for someone. In fact, someone called Paul Bloom wrote a book called against empathy. And in that book, he actually makes a very strong argument against using empathy as a means of moralizing, certain morality. For example, He says, If I'll give you an example, he doesn't use this, but you know, I'll use it. There was this girl young girl that got lost? Her name is Madeline. Madeline. Yeah, Madeline got lost. She was

00:31:41 --> 00:32:22

obviously a tragic situation. Yeah. But the fact that she was on the newspapers, and she was on the front headlines, all kinds of things. Yeah, it made us empathize with. But the fact of the matter is that girls are being human trafficked, they are being sold into slavery and on a monthly basis from all kinds of ethnic backgrounds, not just white and Asian girls. The truth of the matter is, is that we have a disproportionate consideration for Madeline, because we have been exposed to her story. We haven't been exposed to the all these other stories. In other words, we've been made to empathize with her. Paul Bloom. Therefore, he makes the argument that if we're to use empathy, as a means to

00:32:22 --> 00:32:51

try moralize or generalize moralities, then it will be innumerate. It'll be discriminatory. And it will be problematic for the reasons aforementioned, so when women are sorry to say men and women, it's not just a woman thing. But women like this, for example, who are talking about polygamy, polygamy and sharing their anecdotal experiences and quote unquote, traumas. Yes, when they are talking about these matters, and then they are forcing an empathetic response. Or they are, let's say, generating an empathetic response from another woman.

00:32:53 --> 00:33:34

What becomes blurred, are the moral guidelines, morality becomes described, described and defined as per the emotional feelings of that individual. How could he make you feel like that? How can this someone who truly loves you do something which hurts you like that? Morality becomes defined in the way that she's just detailed? If you love someone and conditional terms, if you love someone, why would you do such a thing to hurt them? But because doing so according to her will be immoral? But that formulation of morality, number one is unsubstantiated in the academic literature, number two is actually refuted in the academic literature, as mentioned in the book, against empathy, it's

00:33:34 --> 00:34:10

interesting. And thirdly, it's totally an Islamic from Islamic but we don't need to, but why are you looking at so what not? I'm just I'm just saying that. All I'm saying here is that if you're seeing we have a paradigm, was it a paradigm is the paradigm of morality? And then you have the paradigm of fatwa? Or what the shifts had this shift the shifts at that? Why are you exploring a paradigm outside of the paradigm of Islam? If indeed, you truly believe the paradigm of Islam, and that's, you know, and and the Quran actually makes mention of this? I'm sure. I'm sure Wilhelmina didn't email me them. Billa have they? Have they been given permission, which Allah has not given them

00:34:10 --> 00:34:48

permission for have they created legislation which Allah has been given them permission for? So this is legislation that is coming outside of the Islamic paradigm? Yeah, this is this is the whole torah, this is the danger. Yeah, this is the danger of speaking without knowledge as they are. This is the danger of using emotional judgment. This is the danger of speaking on camera on issues that can break households and allow children who quite frankly, women like this with all selfishness, egoism, I don't think are very concerned about the children or the I mentioned them in the end, very passingly. But putting children in a situation of this advanced sociological disadvantage, because

00:34:48 --> 00:34:59

you're not encouraging women to be resilient on a thing that Allah allowed in the Prophet practice. Instead, you're giving them all ammunition? Yes, with the most full with the most dangerous of wording you

00:35:00 --> 00:35:18

Lethal ammunition, lethal ammunition? Micro feministic tendencies, yes, absolutely no doubt about it. In fact, there are more in my opinion Wallahi oxenhope Allah and Allah as my witness to conservative or traditionalist. These women here are more dangerous than any feminist. You know why? You know why?

00:35:19 --> 00:35:45

You know why? You know what, because when a Muslim woman is watching a non Muslim, yes, they'll say they're not Muslim. They don't understand how Islam works. Yes, when they watch a group of our sisters who are in hijab who weren't using some stomach, terminologies, they are more prone to take it. Absolutely. And that is what dangerous and far bro I'm just talking about empathy and stuff like that. Yeah, absolutely. Didn't companies have to find their own family members who are blood who they loved? Allahu Akbar. Did they don't have to do that? If I saw you the bathroom, I was trying to find you in a battlefield.

00:35:46 --> 00:36:19

Wow, felt funky. I didn't know I didn't know any something that's true for the sea. Oh Allah. Did you see you're gonna see my family to be saved? What Allah Allah subhanaw taala rebuked that not only Salam. And he said, Oh, no, that your family is the believers here not You're not blood. Don't think your blood son, he loved his son. He was upset he was crying but like the fact that he was drowned by Allah to remind him to take the knuckle over the ankle. Because if you go to the doctor say I love him. Well, the person Sahaba had to fight in a battle the people that they loved.

00:36:21 --> 00:36:26

Let's carry on. And this is a common occurrence and quite frankly, people that convert to Islam like yourself, you have to deal with

00:36:28 --> 00:36:38

people like yourself on a daily basis have to deal with unruly on unruly. Yeah. And cantankerous Yes, rambunctious individuals who make their life? * yes. Okay. Yes. And it's

00:36:40 --> 00:36:49

when we love, which is why quite frankly, we'll find a lot of people who do practice polygamy, are people from the river community? Yes, they have, they have decided to strip away all the cultural baggage that they have decided not to.

00:36:50 --> 00:37:24

Well, I'm so sorry. Yeah, I see more Weaver sisters, while he goes through more humble when it comes to this thing. Okay. And I don't anyways, I don't wanna get into it. But just let's just let's just see what else they have to say. And maybe the answer won't be clear immediately. Any time. You want to try it out, you want to see how it goes, you need the flexibility you need time to make to make your decision. I think the second thing is talking to the women, she how she she addresses women in a way that as if they can just throw it up on the man. What do you mean, make your decision 100 a day? Yeah, if you want, your only decision you have to make is to ask your husband, well go to a

00:37:24 --> 00:37:59

Sharia Council and follow the procedure. You're not you do not have the same rights as a man she's the assumption of equality is almost clear in her subtext, which when you make your decision, it's not you cannot wake up in the morning and make a decision doesn't work like that. There are many things at play. And there are many stock stakeholders that play. I feel like what she's doing here, she's removing all the Islamic apparatus and she's trying to create a system of equality. Even if it wasn't in English law, she would have to go to the citizens doesn't just have to file for certain things. They should have to negotiate certain matters. It's this essential illusion. The best She

00:37:59 --> 00:38:11

means the choice of going down hola about this. You can just like you said, make a choice to enter to say, You know what, I'm down with this. I'm cool with it. I want to come into the picture of a family already and enter.

00:38:13 --> 00:38:51

You need to be educating yourself about what that's going to entail. You need to be realistic about what that's gonna mean. You need to be honest about what you're actually looking for and what you're actually expecting. I don't think the old bait and switch is just going to cause trouble I'm, I'm called to renounce my rights. I don't need financial support. I am going to be easy. I'm not going to disrupt anything I just need you know. But are you being honest about what that's what that's gonna mean? And your equivalent? First Wife is being bullied and I've heard this multiple times in particular cultures. It's more emphasized than others. You can't tell your family I did this. You

00:38:51 --> 00:39:23

not only have to handle the pain but you have to keep it a secret because of tell your parents that I did this we know is going to kick off. Okay, so once it once it was, let me do this right. Okay, look, let's make it very simple and clear. I want I want you know what I want from our sisters, honestly, too. Okay, please, can you do an episode? Yep. And in the episode, please, can you tell us brothers? What do we want to know? I want to know, please tell us the right way to do I'm gonna do it the right way. Yeah, not I'm saying I'm intending on doing it. But what I'm seeing is that please tell us man, what is the right way to go about it? Without all the drama of our wife and her telling

00:39:23 --> 00:39:55

not telling the parents story from another? Please can you tell us how you sisters are the females will be happy for us to practice polygamy in the correct manner. Please tell us, I bet you you will not be doing that episode because you do not believe there is a correct way. The best way of polygamy for you guys is no polygamy. That's what it is. Basically, no polygamy. That's the issue here. And what did she say? She said about being bullied. Okay, look, bro, this the hypocrisy that I see. I'm so sorry. Yes. Wallahi. Let me say something. Yeah. Let's go to a brothel. Yeah, get the Baba and go to his in laws and see what kind of brothers realizes he has. He's good to my daughter.

00:39:56 --> 00:40:00

He provides. He's very good. He helps us. Okay, good. Good. Good. Good.

00:40:00 --> 00:40:30

When asked the same family I'd say you know what, you know your son in law? Yeah, he got second wife. I've never seen any good in him law in I don't know what happened two seconds Bob a minute go he was the best guy because of polygamy bow Wallahi Wallahi This is why prophets will send these people have said, glad tidings to the strangers. They have become strangers archy for them to practice something, which is from the Sunnah. And I'm talking about brothers who are good to their wives, who are just to their wives who provide for their wives. I'm talking about these men. I'm not talking about these guys who do not pray, don't practice, they cheat they do. I'm not talking about

00:40:30 --> 00:41:00

them. These kinds of men who are practicing are being shunned. They are being made, they've been ostracized, to make that you're making them feel. And then on top of that, of course, he's going to come and tell you not to tell your family because your family see this as something ugly as something evil. And guess what? You're probably you're you're your own. Dad is plugging me. Yes. What might also be the same day approximately, yes, yes, he practices. But when his son in law does it, that's why the interview, he said, Would you want that for your daughter? I said Nakia How can I stand in front of Allah and say, I want to I want

00:41:02 --> 00:41:44

every man's polygamous by the neutral yet. How can I come and see? I might do it. But for my daughter law, Walla Walla, Walla, Walla, he, like the Prophet peace be upon him said, Fatima was still around. We don't grow with hypocrisy. One. One rule for me another rule for my daughter. No, no, no, no. If my daughter is happy, she's she's, she's happy with it. I'll tell her. Here's the pros and cons, etc. This afternoon. I will not come and say he's a bad guy. He's an evil guy. This is something from the Dean, how are you making it something horrible, evil, bullying, spiritual abuse, and betrayal lie? Why is the paranormal activity of one is so so yeah, definitely turn into

00:41:44 --> 00:41:58

shares, all in a moral, Islamic manner with a son with a son in a humane manner. Seeing that the woman the women are actually human beings. They're not property.

00:41:59 --> 00:42:37

They're not just nothing. They have got souls, they have got emotions, they have got thoughts they've got once they've got desires. And that's okay for them to have. Right? I think many of us women and men have yet to even fully accepted that. That's the case that a woman we're dealing with a whole person. Okay, no problem. You deal with the whole person to your husband? Does he have desires and emotions? Well, nice, cheap. Look, we understand. We accept our sisters, we accept the Muslim Muslim woman woman with a true nature, your hypothesis by your nature, you look for a man who is taller than you who can provide security who can provide for you, you can do many things who's

00:42:37 --> 00:43:02

who's more, maybe a leader, you look for these properties. That's what your nature inherently has. Do we complain about it? No, we try to be the best person that we can. So you can select us. Yeah. Why is it that when it comes to our nature, which is a polygamous nature, we are shunned. Why is the double standards we accept you with your high Pergamus nature? No problem. Why do you not accept us with a polygamous nature? Why are we Shawn? Why are you so why

00:43:03 --> 00:43:17

did I choose to be polygamous? There are two services that's No, I'm not quitting. Let that go and take out. Now. If I see this, I'm gonna say our spiritual abuse. Now using the good card. Well, you're finished. I must say a simple question. I think being a man. Yes. Is a spiritual is finished. What good is for you?

00:43:20 --> 00:43:57

The point the point here is this year. No, man it means we're somewhat lucky. Yeah. Okay. Let me tell you something. Yeah. No, man. No, man. Yeah, look, I have a wife. I love my wife. I do not wake up one day and go. Let me practice polygamy. And let me destroy her. Actually, what the * are you talking about? No man wakes up and says Let me break my family. They made me make my wife upset. No, what we're seeing is inherently as men, we are polygamous by nature. Okay. Sumptuous to practice it. Most want to practice it? They can't because of many other reasons. But the point is, we are all polygamous via our nature. We do not do this to hurt our families. Why would I wake up one day and

00:43:57 --> 00:44:35

destroy my whole family? No. Understand that that's within our nature. Okay. And if we was to go back and do it the right way, which you guys haven't given us an option, you know, what is the right way? Nothing. Why are we to blame? Why are we made to be evil? The question I'm asking is this. Why does a good Muslim man who wants to practice polygamy become bad? Please tell me what makes him bad in a specific, specific decision of wanting to get a co wife? Please tell me why he is evil. Because you are brainwashed to the current standards of monogamy. Yes, monogamy is a new concepts and new phenomena, not from the Adam. It's been polygamy. That is the norm. You've been watching too much

00:44:35 --> 00:44:47

Hollywood, Bollywood, the oldest kind of movies that made you to believe one man, one woman. And guess what? Most women that's watching this will know. Okay? And I'll bet anybody you have in one moment or time practicing and practicing.

00:44:49 --> 00:44:59

caught your husband or your boyfriend speaking to another girl or something. Why are men doing this? Why am I lucky if there was a study done? And if the study showed that every woman on on Planet

00:45:00 --> 00:45:11

If I wanted a Gucci bag, I would have to say to myself, there is inherently something within a woman that loves a Gucci bag. Why do they lucky because this cross culturally, across the globe, they have this phenomenon, I think you're making a good point.

00:45:12 --> 00:45:47

Just to finish on this point is this, I will have to come and say, okay, there is something wide within a woman's brain that she likes a Gucci bag, I will have to accept that reality and be like, Okay, how do we deal with okay, it's fine. Why is it that when a man wants to practice polygamy in the right way, you look at all the stuff that you said, and then how could the man come to you? And that'd be like, after all the bullying all the words you use, which man in the right mind will open up to you and said, Look, I want to get a second one which man, good point. And I will say look at the something else I would add to this, which is that you mentioned that this has been going on of

00:45:47 --> 00:46:29

course, culturally, historically. Actually, I think from what I remember Britannica University encyclopedia is that 85 to 95% of all civilizations before the current age, ie the last 100 years, were permitted polygyny. So if it's the case, that practicing spiritual means now is what I'm saying here. Good, is what I'm saying is if if this is a normal psychological reaction, in other words, to consider this to be spiritual abuse considers, then we should have seen a wealth of historical evidence from 1000s of years up until the present age, we should have seen a wealth of historical information, testimonials from women all considering it to be in your less traumatic, abusive, it

00:46:29 --> 00:46:33

using the god called bullying and laying on the street and pretending to

00:46:34 --> 00:47:16

commit suicide, suicide, suicide ideation dropped on the floor, those things, all those kinds of words that you're using. Yeah, we're not we simply don't have any historical evidence in 1400 years. Yeah. To indicate anything more than the fact that yes, they did cause and we have to be very honest, and just, it does cause and difficult historically, levels of jealousy, anxiety, anger, frustration, all kinds of discomfort for women, but not to the level what they're describing here. This this kind of testimonial here is absent in the historical record, not considering the fact that even non Muslim societies were practicing these kinds of things. Even today. I mean, you go to

00:47:16 --> 00:47:19

Nigeria I've just been to Nigeria Nigeria. People have

00:47:20 --> 00:47:25

Christian Aki non Muslims today in the West are practicing Thank you very much Rima we live in in man. I don't know No.

00:47:26 --> 00:47:53

Muslim men are practicing it. Yeah. Well, my mistress is girlfriend such they are doing it like he's happy. Yes, both serial monogamous. Why does your monogamous wife and Donald Trump serial monogamous because they're looking and they're thinking their wife has reached 4045 or 50 years old, cannot purchase kids anymore. And biologically, that's because we're not having a coil. Then the thing is, here is that hold on a second. They're thinking if I go until about second, they're divorced. So these women end up dying alone with a car.

00:47:54 --> 00:48:11

That's a reality because a man's biology he can carry on. So the thing is, they think, okay, I'll divorce her and go get a new model. And that is what's happening. And guess what? They are practicing polygamy. What they've done is in the wrong way, by leaving one wife, who's given his life breaking, that's what he called breaking, because he is abundant in her. That's the worst.

00:48:13 --> 00:48:42

I can let me do something, a man. Another show that says how is this the thing that we loved we they love when a woman loves one person she's bound to because she's wild? Like there's not one moment she falls out of love in one month, she tends to start her divorce period, long time, two years. So some people come and say, Oh, my, my wife divorced me and moved on fast is that brother that divorce happened two years ago. You're sleeping. Yeah. So the thing is, they and even that's how we love. No, it doesn't work like that. For a man. It's like a woman who loves her kids. If you're gonna say which could you love the most? So I love them all the same. Okay, so for a man, it's like that we

00:48:42 --> 00:49:13

don't love the way you love. That's why you think when a man gets a second wife, you think he doesn't love me anymore? There's nothing wrong with me. Wallahi brothers that I know who practice polygamy, most of them when it doesn't go right things go sour, they go back to the first wife. Why? Because he never had a problem with in the first place. The point is this. They go back to the first one. The point is if he didn't like you, he would have left you there's a Talaq Baba, I want to move on. I'm happy with you. That is not the case. We don't work the way you work. We're not why the way you're wired. Thank you very much, let's say maybe one more one with a shadow, an actual human

00:49:13 --> 00:49:20

being, and to come with that level of emotional maturity, intelligence and just

00:49:22 --> 00:49:36

respect and consideration why that was my last point. That was your last point. Your final my final point? I think in the cases of polygamy, the woman will find herself in position in that position. Like in the case of a person who's on the fence about divorce from a monogamous marriage.

00:49:37 --> 00:50:00

I think that advice tends to be that we need to maintain the the institution we need to keep the house intact, even if it's going to be at the expense of the individuals who comprise it and I think that's a dangerous bit of advice Wallah. He says thought you should come on social media. Immediately what led me to something because of this not unlimited some because it's advice. I swear to god sister with all due respect, why? I don't know if you

00:50:00 --> 00:50:37

going through something may Allah make it easy on you and I'm not trying to I'm not trying to belittle you here but I'm saying I'm not being condescending limited something for you to come and see something so secret like the family unit yeah What did she say? Basically what she's seen in a nutshell this family unit that you have is so sacred Yeah, but don't put up with it you know the feminist narrative no yeah Miss Independent destroy it and it basically said destroy children put yourself before your children this is a selfish attitude Okay. Attitude don't guess what it is so selfish that the mother has been advised by this sister is basically been told that even if it comes

00:50:37 --> 00:50:58

at the cost of children destroy it and why it should what was what's waiting for you bet on the other side let's put it doesn't matter what's in economic deprivation this this this this thing honestly nematode some academics or something sisters think that the husband that practice polygamy that when they divorced they're gonna go to another person that's not polygamous I repeat again everyone

00:50:59 --> 00:51:02

this is what the sisters not understand the thing there is a nine out there the

00:51:03 --> 00:51:34

the knight in shining armor yet the white knight Shining Armor Yeah, okay. The Muslim folks will say with a horsey, okay, is waiting for them. No, you're gonna get the same issue in a different way. If he doesn't if he fears you, I will the biller is gonna go behind your back in the wrong way. Well guess what he fears Allah is going to do it in the right way. Or you know what if he fears Allah Mo is going to hide it because you know what if he tells you you're going to cause chaos could havoc here. So what I'm gonna say it's a system and so my name is Maria says to me fear Allah with all due respect, please do not ever talk about this topic, period. Yeah, for you to come. And look, you can

00:51:34 --> 00:52:07

come and say, You know what, it wasn't for me, or whatever, or I know somebody went through it was very like whatever it may be. You guys didn't talk about how it was done the wrong way. How she did a full out attack, a lethal attack and atomic a nuclear warhead on polygamy itself, and it turned into a horror movie is worse than paranormal activity. And you're here coming and seeing basically the 1000 texts family intact house Street. I'm sorry. Wallahi 200,000 People watch this. Fear Allah subhanaw taala his sister who was involved in polygamy, her husband is gone married again. Why? Let me tell you something. God knows how many marriages he destroyed stopped doing the spiritual who

00:52:07 --> 00:52:33

knows how many you're doing too much spiritual abuse not to do more. Let them get ready for okay. Let me tell you something, okay, good. God, whatever you like. Or whatever you like. Subhanallah Yeah, the point is this. Okay? Do not talk about these matters. Okay. Please, please do not talk about these matters. You don't know how delicate the family unit is. And you don't know how fragile our systems are they really been attacked by a feminist. On top of that we have our sisters in hijabs given advice of the intact family unit so much to destroy imagine this lamp

00:52:35 --> 00:53:04

and you know what? It wasn't wasn't what was it? What did they see in the video? They said, We don't mind brothers coming open an open discussion, I would like to invite Somalia. I would like to invite all the sisters that were on there to come to have a discussion, civilized discussion on this topic at hand. If you genuinely care about the Ummah, which we have no doubt you do, please, I will invite you I'm gonna do a new show having no discussion about gender roles, etc. I would like to invite our sisters to come meet myself, you know, maybe what was the shot? Let's talk about this as your brothers and sisters. And let's give a solution a correct way of practicing polygamy in our system.

00:53:05 --> 00:53:32

I think what you said there is absolutely right. I mean, one book that's pretty easy to read about the problems of a single single parent household is the boy crisis. Yeah, example by warfarin. Now there's this particular book that I don't have time to enumerate the kinds of statistics that he puts in his book about how much a single mother puts a child in a disadvantage from an educational perspective from increases their chances.

00:53:34 --> 00:54:13

Of course, we're saying that's what, of course, I'm saying that, you know, criminal delinquency, educational levels, all these kinds of things. You're putting them in a in a disadvantaged position before in our history and our illustrious history. Our mothers and fathers used to fight wars for us. They used to know that honestly, these are the traumas that they actually went through. Yes, quite frankly. Yes, were some things that would put us all to shame, including me, I knew all of us ashamed. Exactly. And now we're talking about a marriage setup as if it is, you know, a cancer or cancer or an alien, which which will destroy you. And there's no way

00:54:14 --> 00:54:45

there is no way of you being able to adapt to it. No, no, eliminate, we're gonna do something as yet kids from single mother homes. 63% of you all youth suicides, single mother homes 90% of homelessness and runaway children from single mother homes. 85% of behavioral disorders, single mother homes, 80% of rapists with anger issues, single mother homes, 71% of high school dropout, single mother homes, 80% of all youth in prisons, single mother homes, I'll give a disclaimer. I'm not saying the mothers are at blame. I'm saying this for single mother homes. So you're basically saying that was intact, destroy it. The only imagine if they all had the fathers and by the way,

00:54:45 --> 00:54:57

this can be the fathers for maybe the father left and when I'm gonna say Mr. Maloy fathers, yes, what I'm seeing is the selfish decision of the father or the mother is coming. The consequences have a ripple effect of the children you should find your children despite

00:54:58 --> 00:54:59

its gender egoism. Yes.

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Is my cell feminism gender is selfishness? Yes, it's gender egoism. I would never give advice to anyone the way that she has right now never is at the end of this individualism. Yes, it is egoism our individualism is selfish, you're teaching them something, you're not teaching them Islam. You're not teaching them, Sabra. So instead of Sabbath Yes, well as you know, several Bucha

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and some of our thoughts on this, I will have to toss over somebody else instead of all of these verses

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in the beginning, not one of the older or the crosser all the way to the end. Yes. Not these areas. Yes. Let's instead think about counseling, maybe a second house because you know, there's a given culture Yes. Let's think about breaking the house. Yeah, let's not think about the family and tag us. This is diabolical, blah, blah, blah. You know, it's very important to finish on this. I'm so sorry. Yeah. Listen, look, sisters. You listen to that. Yeah. Was there one Quran and Sunnah that she didn't mention one a Okay, once again, that shows me one thing one has nothing but coming from the occult, not come from her emotions.

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Please break it from local.

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If you go if somebody goes to a personal knowledge and says My husband got married again. And if that person's been from the Quran, the eyes that you quoted Wallahi at least it would aid the woman as you know what patients call her to truth. Yes, calling her to like stuff to maintain the family unit etc. We're not talking about husband that comes and punches you in the face. Doesn't look after you doesn't provide exactly we're talking about husbands doing all these things, but decided to get married again. Yeah, and he still wouldn't you hear them devotees do this. Anyway, my wife I love you. He's and he got married again. And because of this, he is vilified, turned into a vampire

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Dracula sucking blood, a horror movie. Look at the level they went to not a single Khurana and but when you go to the pub of Allah, Allah comes towards you and look out Allah tells you to be patient. Yeah. And tells you what is better. Wallahi This is the reason why any kind of manmade law or woman made law or any kind of opinions, they speed up with no Quran and Sunnah. run a mile. I'm telling you run a mile. That's what I have to say. I think that's a good place to end. And I think I went as well with a very famous quote, I saw from Viktor Frankl, which he wrote a book called The meaning of life, very powerful. And he introduced something called logotherapy, by the way, which is it focuses

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on meaning and the why behind, you know, it's a really powerful way from a religious perspective how someone can attach themselves to meaning. Just like Nietzsche said, you know, if you have a why almost Anyhow, it's possible if a woman is going through this, look, first of all, we don't want to diminish from what you're going through. It's a very difficult situation. It really is. Yeah. However,

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if there's a why and your why is strong, you will be rewarded by Allah subhanaw taala, almost anyhow, as possible, you'll be able to get through this, believe me, you will do it for your children, you'll do it for your family, you'll do it for yourself. And you will get rewarded in the hereafter as well. But something which Viktor Frankl himself said, which I think was very interesting is, I think it applies in these situations in this situation of a woman who's the mother does not very happy with the person who she married. And the woman, the first wife, in both situations administration like it is that when you have when you can no longer change the situation,

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then you have to try and change yourself.

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You know, at the end of the day, if for me as an individual, if I was going through something difficult in life, something uncomfortable, I would want my people around me to give me words which will increase my resilience. Yes, my toughness, my strength, I'm sorry to say but if if you are being charged with all of these kinds of micro feministic, phrases, trauma, bullying, suicide, using the word suicide, I mean, using all kinds of words, how is that meant to engender empowerment? How is that meant to engender strength and resilience within Muslim people is not even negative, is honest, slamming. It's shameful. It's humiliating, and it should be repented for, and I don't care.

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And you know, I expect maybe some people say, Well, this is they're very upset. They're very well, I don't know. I don't care. Right. You have no right to come out and

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children. Yes, young children with your poisonous and misinformed advice, you should repent. You should ask for forgiveness. And you should delete those videos. And if you delete your videos, maybe most of them because all of them have this kind of tone with very limited as knock Quran, which you claim to believe. And the Hadith which you also claim to believe, and start afresh with the Quran and Sunnah in front of you. Otherwise you're creating mischief in the land was Salam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told us

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when the son of Adam dies, all of his good deeds are interrupted, they are finished, except for three things sadaqa jariya, a continuous charity and a beneficial knowledge and also a righteous offspring that makes to add for him. Your brothers and sisters in Islam net from Norway are establishing a masjid a Dawa center and fulfilling a great portion of this hadith on your behalf. You

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establishing a masjid to convey the message of Islam is one of the best deeds a Muslim can do. Whenever someone prays that whenever someone gives shahada in the masjid whenever someone learns something in the masjid, yes, that will be something that you will have on your scale. So give generously and Allah azza wa jal give you even more

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