Mufti Menk – Dealing with Non-Practicing Family Members

Mufti Menk
AI: Summary © The speaker discusses the importance of being polite to people who use good words and not discourage them. They stress the need to be kind and not discourage people who may not be following religion. The speaker advises to be kind to people and to keep on speaking with them, even if they see them as harsh and hard.
AI: Transcript ©
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Salam Alaikum wa Rahmatullah

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when dealing with family members who are not so religious, or they don't take religion seriously, or they may be weaker in certain aspects. Remember, we don't want to compromise our faith, but it's our duty, to be very polite to them to be kind, and not to discourage them. So, when explaining to people usually if you use good words, they're ready to listen, they're ready to understand, perhaps they might not be ready to practice. Because that is in the hands of Allah, you know, you can tell someone what's right and what's wrong. And they may be convinced as well, but they may not have followed because maybe they haven't yet had the acceptance from Allah. So shaitaan comes to them and

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makes them keep thinking, it's okay. I don't have to do this, I'll do it tomorrow. I'll do it later, I'll do it another time. Or it's fine. Allah is whatever, you know, merciful and so on. Look, Allah is merciful. But to use that as an excuse to do something wrong. We know that it's a weakness, but how do we who have relatives who might not be that practicing, deal with them, don't discourage them. Don't think that you're better, make them feel that they're useless because you don't know how you are going to end. You don't know they might overtake you somewhere and you might turn around, make a U turn, may Allah protect all of us. So treat them with respect, pray for them. Be kind,

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smile, greet, fulfill their rights, be genuine be there for them during their days of difficulty and hardship. And those days are common nowadays, more than others more than before. So it's important for us to look into this and to make people feel that connection, then they will listen to us, at least they will appreciate us. So what we want is, yes, we would love to see them also take their religion a little bit more seriously. But minimum is we don't want them to hinder our faith. I know of cases where people don't want their own sisters or daughters to put on a headscarf or to dress in, you know, a dress perhaps, or something like a cloak or a jilbab.

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So, what we're saying is, perhaps you need to communicate to them to say, look, I'm not putting pressure on you to do things. So don't put pressure on me to do things. If I am coming closer to Allah, what are you stopping me for? Leave it. You know, it reminds me of the man who was from the broader family of the pharaoh whom Allah sent. And he says, Yeah, call me Molly at the local Elana jati. What did O'Neill and now all my people what's wrong with you and calling you towards savior and you're calling me towards the fire? You know that the only the oshi Kabila only act for a biller? What should it be Melissa Lee beheading, what another Oh, Camilla z is alpha, you're calling

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me towards disbelief and Association, a partnership with Allah and I'm calling you to come towards Allah. So yeah, it's a tricky one. It's been there for a long time. If Allah willed He could have guided everyone. But sometimes Allah doesn't want exactly that. He knows he wants to reward you and perhaps guide them at a certain point.

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Don't burn your bridges. No. Keep on trying with them. Yes, if it gets to the end of the path on the road, and they are really misbehaving with you trying to push you and force you to quit the faith or to really to transgress against Allah, then perhaps you may want to take it up one more level and distance a little bit from them. But if they're your family members, they're not so practicing. You know what, it doesn't mean you cut them off completely, they have not told you not to practice.

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You need to try with them. You need to maintain the relation with them. You need to keep on speaking with them, not necessarily directly and immediately, but perhaps build the connection first, a good one. When they see that you're a lovely person, they will come closer. The reason I say this is many people think that Islam is a bad religion. Many people think practicing people are harsh and hard.

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The minute you prove them wrong, they soften up and the difficulty is are we prepared to prove them wrong in a beautiful way? I know of people who revert to Islam perhaps I should do a video separately for that. But for now I pray this advice has helped Apolo Kohli ha That was Salam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

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