Dealing with Loss and Grief – Widows Support

Mufti Menk

Channel: Mufti Menk

Episode Notes

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salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

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Bismillah Ar Rahman Rahim al hamdu Lillah wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah Allah Allah He was happy edgeline

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in the LA he were in LA Haji own in the LA he was in La rajmohan. In the LA he were in LA he Raji on.

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This verse of the Quran

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is one of the most powerful verses reminding us who we are, and who we actually belong to and where we are going to all return.

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It is a verse where Allah subhanho wa Taala speaks about those who have gone through hardship, suffering, some form of grief or loss. Those who have gone through difficulty of some sort. And they say,

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we belong to Allah and unto Allah is our ultimate return all of us. Allah says through those words, if they really believe those words, they would definitely be able to gain closeness to Allah, they are rightly guided.

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And Medina either

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but

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mostly by Carlo in

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La lie.

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Those whom when calamity strikes, when hardship difficulty, grief strikes, they say, we all belong to Allah and we're all going to return to Allah, not just the person I lost, but myself as well. I'm going to go back to Allah. This world is temporary, the worldly life is pre determined by Allah, how long you're going to live, is pre determined by Allah subhanho wa Taala. That doesn't mean you must be careless. But what it does mean is you must accept when Allah has taken someone away, and you must realize that you and I could go at any time. So if Allah has written for your spouse, or for your son, or for your parent, or a sibling of yours, to pass away at a certain age, there is nothing

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you can do to change that. But there is something you can do to be able to go through the decree of Allah with a little bit more ease and comfort with the help of Allah alone. The question is, who's going to help me?

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Who is going to help me through my loss?

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The answer is none other than Allah. People can say things they will never ever be able to understand the feelings

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of sorrow and the hurt or the feelings of sadness that you are going through, because they are just human beings. You can tell a widow, Allah make it easy, inshallah Everything will be fine, don't be sad, etc. But she's just a human being. She has to be sad, because sadness is a quality of a human being. And that sadness should never be because you question the decree of Allah. But it is because you're a human being and you miss your beloved late husband, may Allah grant him genital for those. May Allah grant all the more human and those who have passed on Gen net infidels. My beloved sisters, today, I'm speaking to people who have suffered a loss in one way or another, mostly, we

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have those who've lost I have lost people close to me too. And I want to tell you all today,

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the only one who can help you and assist you, the only one who can guide you through these difficult days and create ease for you and comfort. Your soul that is in pain is the one who made you, the one who made the soul, the one who controls everything, the one who controls your heart, Allah, Allah alone. For that reason I started this talk by reciting a verse which is also a DA in Leela. He was in LA he raggio. If you understand that statement, and you say it correctly, Allah will grant you the ability to go through what he has chosen for you. And you always need to be happy at the decree of Allah.

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When a person converts to Islam,

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or reverts to Islam,

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we make them out to the Shahada. We make them say, eyeshadow Allah, Allah and Allah wa shadow anna Muhammadan rasul Allah. I bear witness there is

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none worthy of worship besides Allah. I bear witness that Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam is the Messenger of Allah. They said by tongue. They should be believing it by their heart when they believe it by the heart. They are called the mini Eman. Notice when you say the Pillars of Islam, people mentioned the five pillars. These five pillars they are easy to see because they are more actions. So you have your utterance of the Shahada. You have your five daily prayers, you have your zecca you have your Psalm or fasting people can see you're giving charity people can see your abstaining from food and people can see that you've gone for Hajj. These are things that people can

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see that's Islam, Islam to submit to Allah. you've submitted physically but has your heart submitted to Allah for a man when we say what are the pillars of Eman? We mentioned six things What are they amen to Billa he won milea iica t workqueue. To be he was really he won the Omen theory while he was at V minima he tala well bath well, but he bad mouth.

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They're actually seven things, but six points. Let's go through them. I believe in Allah. So whatever you said in terms of your Shahada, when you reverted to Islam, now you are declaring that I believe it in my heart, Allah knows the condition of your heart, I believe Allah is the maker, the nareesha that sustained the provided the protected the cure, the one in whose hands lies, control of every aspect of existence, the giver of life, and the one who takes life away. The one who has control over who's going to go to Paradise and who's not going to go into genital Pharaohs. May Allah grant us Jana, without reckoning, say, I mean,

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my beloved sisters, we believe in Allah, that's what we say. I meant to believe them. We believe in the angels.

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And we believe in the previous books, we believe in all the prophets, all of them, we believe in them.

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We believe in the last day, that is the day of piano. And in fact, when we say well, birth by the Lord, it's connected to the last day because the resurrection and the final day are connected. So we'll count that as one point. But then there is a certain point that we believe in, that is probably one of the most challenging.

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What is it?

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Well, Qatar

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re re minima heater Allah.

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Fate decreed destiny, good and bad, is from Allah, I declare that I believe that I surrender to it, and I am happy with it. That is when you are a true man. You're a believer, believing female men and men believing male.

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When you believe that what Allah does is the best, the best. That couldn't have been anything better. So you might say, but it was so bad. How he passed away was so bad. How she passed on was so bad. How could you say it was the best thing? Well, it could have been worse. That statement is the statement of a believer. It could have been worse.

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I know of people who go through so much of hardship that there are others who go through less, but they're finding it difficult to go through yet some go through much more and they're still saying Alhamdulillah he Allah

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Praise be to Allah upon all conditions. Do you know on the Day of Judgment, a caller will call before the reckoning of everybody, a caller will call by the will of Allah subhanho wa Taala in alladhina Kanu Medina, ALLAH hafiz. sobre Ewok Barbara Where are those who used to thank Allah or praise Allah Alhamdulillah means All praise is due to Allah. Where are those who used to praise Allah during times of difficulty and times of ease, all conditions they used to praise Allah. So a group will get up May Allah make us from amongst them, they will be taken through their hisab everything will be done for them and they will be granted entry into paradise among the first group

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and then the rest of the reckoning will start. Did you ever know that? Did you ever know that?

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What is the benefit of praising Allah upon all conditions?

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It is that on the Day of Judgment, you will be

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called out as a vvip very, very important person Why? Allah says, I created you I chose for you I decreed for you I did things that you liked and things you didn't like, but you always praise me. Coming to Jenna. That's it. SubhanAllah you understood me You recognized me and that's why I started off by saying

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Islam is the five pillars Eman is the six pillars. A son is a level higher and tabooed Allah haka and Nakata hufa inlanta. contura hufa.

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Hassan is a level higher than Islam and demand. It means when you're worshiping Allah, you're worshiping as though you can see a lot you can visually you can visualize

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as though you are in front of Allah. But if you cannot do that the same Hadith says, at least know that Allah is watching you. So these are the levels, there's a level of a son, and there is a level higher than that.

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What is the highest level of closeness to Allah? Do you know? Have you thought about it? Have you been told Have you been taught? Did you dig it up and check, I can tell it to you now. It's called rebar, Bill Kaba

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to be happy at the decree of Allah.

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Then

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you've arrived at a level higher

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than the rest of the people.

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Riba will cover when you say the term raw, the raw, the means to be happy to be okay. I might not be excited with the fact that someone passed away. But I'm happy with the decree of Allah. I'm sad at the fact that as a human being, I'm going to miss my husband or my wife, or my child or my brother or my parents.

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As a human being, I will cry, it's normal to cry, it's good to shed tears. It's very healthy to shed tears, even as a believing female or a male. It does not mean that your Eman is weak because you are crying Not at all. You're allowed to cry. The prophets are seldom shed tears upon the loss of Ibrahim his son. And when he was asked, What is this messenger? He says in ama he, Mattoon Jaya Allah, Allah houfy anybody here Rama? This is a mercy that Allah has placed in the hearts of those who are merciful.

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I'm not crying because I am questioning the decree of Allah. This is my son. I'm crying because we are going to be separated for a short time. That's the reason I'm going to miss him. In other words, we're in he said the process allowances and we are saddened at the separation from you, oh, Ibrahim, addressing his son who had just passed away in his infancy

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Subhan Allah, so my beloved sisters, take it in your stride. The only thing that's going to bring comfort to your heart. The only thing is the remembrance of Allah there's nothing else that can bring comfort to your heart. Besides the remembrance of Allah, and the gifts that Allah bestows upon you.

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Things could have been worse, like I said, so what is the remembrance of Allah? Normally when we say the IQ of Allah, we tend to forget that f1 with decretal are what are

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the best of the key is the recitation of the Quran.

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I've been promoting a challenge to say, start your day with a few words of the Quran. Start your day with one verse of the Quran, see how your life changes. Start your day with five minutes of the Quran. 10 minutes of the Quran. Notice I'm not telling you how many pages I'm telling you how many minutes because time is precious. But trust me the word of Allah is the most precious.

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There is no gift that you can give yourself better

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than the recitation of the word of Allah and getting close to Allah. There's no gift better than that. Nothing will bring you contentment, no amount of wealth, no amount of material items, no motor vehicles, no perfumes, no makeup, no, whatever fashion of clothing, nothing will bring you through contentment besides your relationship with Allah. And I swear this, by he who raised the skies without pillars, there's no chance that you can achieve contentment except through the remembrance of Allah and your relationship with Allah. When it improves, you will have contentment you will be happy. When we are young, we are bubbling with energies and so on. We tend to focus on the wrong

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things, those things that are giving you temporary pleasure. These those are the very things that will bring about sadness and hurt to your heart. Because you've given your heart in the wrong cause. You donated your heart to something material, it became more important to you than Allah that is why the struggle so make Allah the most important in your life. See what happens.

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And levena man Oh wautoma in mukono victory lie Allah baby Camilla. Allah basically la heat atoma in

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Those who believe their hearts are calmed only by the remembrance of Allah for indeed it is only the remembrance of Allah that comes the heart that gives it comfort that gives it contentment, no matter what you've suffered. I had a brother recently who lost in a fire and entire warehouse.

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When they informed him of it, he said, and hamdulillah Subhan Allah Subhana Allah, amazing, amazing and humbling.

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Oh, a man is intact.

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Subhan Allah.

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We are still free to worship Allah and handling that.

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We still have family around us and humbling.

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We still have opportunities to worship Allah Alhamdulillah.

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Cool before glin lie he will be rough Mati fabby, the Anika family of Rocco, who

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people used to brag about how much they have people used to brag about how many things they have, how much wealth they've accumulated, and so on. Allah revealed versus saying, Tell them over Hamad Salalah sanlam

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it is the grace of Allah and His virtue

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upon you.

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That should be the real source of your happiness. When Allah has allowed you to read Salah to thank him by saying Oh Allah, I thank you for accepting me to put my head on the ground for you. When Allah has allowed you to witness all your five Salah in the day and fulfill it, thank Allah to say Allah, I thank you for having allowed me to put my head on the ground for you longer, in a better way with warm tears. Oh Allah, the loss that I have suffered. You are the one who is the owner of my heart, make it easy for me. continue repeating a DA like a nagging person, because Allah loves those who nag when it comes to do. He loves repetition. Again and again. And again. Same thing, again and

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again. humankind doesn't like it when you ask them more than once or twice or a few times, they will get irritated but Allah loves it. Allah loves you to repeat. Again, again, you're showing your helplessness to Allah display it.

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Whatever you do, don't sin, don't transgress and if you have fallen because you're a human being, turn back to Allah is still far and don't lose hope in his mercy. I repeat that when you have fallen because you are a human being and if you have fallen because you're a human being, remember one thing.

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Turn back to Allah who is still far and don't lose hope in the mercy of Allah.

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When Allah has placed you in a certain situation of hardship, that is your test, that is your test. You can never tell the examiner this question is unacceptable.

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You might find it a little bit difficult but with the help of Allah, nothing is difficult. Look at the prophets are seldom when they first revealed to him when Allah revealed to him a Cora.

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What did he say?

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He was still real. He just politely responded, I'm not a Korean, not a reader.

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If, again, I'm not a reader manner because guess what he was told after that, verses were revealed.

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A comma b smear B can lead the follow up or read in the name of your Lord who created

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what does that mean? That means if you think you cannot do something you read in the name of your Lord, the minute you take the name of Allah, you are able to do it, it will become easy for you. That's why as Muslims What do what are we taught, we're taught that everything you do say Bismillah Bismillah before you eat Bismillah you open the door of the motor vehicle Bismillah

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you go somewhere you do something Bismillah

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Why? Because it is only With the name of Allah.

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that everything is made easy and with the same name of Allah. Nobody can harm you. Nothing can hurt you. Nothing in the heavens of the earth in the sky is should I say well the earth can ever harm you Bismillah Allah reliable Brahma asked me he shall you fill out? Well if he says he will who was semi Allah Allah him

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I take the name of Allah with whose name

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nothing can harm me.

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On earth or in the skies, and he is all hearing all knowing That's a powerful job.

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Another very good da da hayata yo.

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Oh yo who is ever living all alert? Why am I calling out to him? We die. Allah doesn't die.

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People around us pass on Allah doesn't pass on. People are helpless. Allah is not helpless. Everyone else is helpless. The people you tend to for help they themselves cannot help themselves Subhan Allah

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and we tend to people for help, they will let us down.

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Turn to Allah. What does Allah say?

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Listen to this Dr. taught by the prophets of Salaam. Yeah, happy to owe you who is ever living all alert. barrage. matica as Terry is diraja means to seek help in desperation. So bear medic asterisk means I desperately seek Your mercy that's what it means. matica Your mercy is what I desperately seek.

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Yeah, how are you? Yeah, can you be rock matica study with us lately shut Nicola. Make good for me. All my affairs helped me in all my affairs, the difficulty the hardship, the grief the sorrow the loss whatever it is, oh, Allah helped me in all my affairs. asleep Lee shut Nicola. while attacking me. Ilan have seen perfect time. And don't leave me to myself. Don't leave me alone. Don't forsake me. Even for the blinking of an eye.

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One blink of my eye, I don't want you to go away from me. I don't want you to leave me because I'm not going to survive. That's the death of the prophets or sanlam.

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Let's learn the DA call out to Allah using this da many times a day. No fixed number. Yeah, hi Yo, yo, yo, Bella. medica. as steady as Li Alisha, Nicola. Allah Kinney, ella nfca perfetta. I'm surprised Subhan Allah Subhana Allah, see the doors opening?

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My beloved sisters, if you were to make a decision that would bring you closer to Allah that you might have found difficult in your life, but you did it to please Allah.

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You will notice the doors of mercy opening the doors of contentment opening, you will notice a lot of goodness coming in your direction Subhanallah

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let me give you an example. If you're struggling to dress appropriately, and I'm wording it very respectfully. If you're struggling to dress appropriately, and you find that you're going to push yourself for the pleasure of Allah to do the right thing.

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For the sake of Allah, no matter what the world says, I promise you, within a short span of time, you will start witnessing the doors of mercy open one after the other. The first thing you will achieve is contentment. contentment means I lost my husband, I lost my son, I lost my daughter, I lost my father, I lost my mother, and I lost my brother and my sister.

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But I'm sitting here saying Allah whom Allah can handle, Oh Allah to you belongs all praise. Why? Because I'm content. I lost a lot. It's going to be challenging my sister, pick up the pieces and move on.

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Allah will give you the strength.

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pick up the pieces and don't pity yourself because it's You're not the first person it has happened to indeed but at the same time, it's Allah who loves you because he says to us through the blessings lips of Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam in Allah either a have bagged Allah, when Allah loves you, he will test you know, test, you must be worried. Why am I not being tested by Allah? Perhaps something wrong with me? We pay in order to write the entrance exam to enter the prestigious schools. When we get into the school, test after test exam after exam, we are proud we actually wanted those tests, the more difficult the tests at the school, the higher the qualification, don't you agree? Well,

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Allah operates in a similar, it's slightly different fashion.

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The greater the test, the higher the qualification. If you were tested with a pimple that a mosquito bite you and you had it and you scratched it, and so on. That's a minor test. For some people. It's like a piano

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especially if it's on the face

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but to

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To be honest with you, it is relative because that is such a minute thing that distracted you so badly. But it's a small test the certificate you're going to get, because of saying Alhamdulillah when a mosquito bites you, and there's a lovely big red mark on your nose, and you still see Al Hamdulillah at least the rest of my faces, okay?

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I wonder if that happens. But if you do say that, you get a certificate, what is it? It's a small one, a great one. That's it. You passed maybe ECD. There we were. That was actually the mosquito that bit you now let's see, the next time What happens? Now Allah protect us, you suffer a bigger loss, you are challenged in a bigger way. You came onto the earth in order to be tested. Some people say how do I know that? You know it because you are being tested every single day. Notice it you get sick, you get upset, you suffer loss, this robbery, these accidents, this negativity, this loss of life, loss of produce, is anxiety, all this is from what? From the tests of Allah? While anabella

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one icon we are going to test every single one of you Allah says With what? The first thing he says bishi emotional health.

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Have you ever thought of why he mentioned that? First? He says, with a bit of anxiety, fear.

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Fear of the unknown. anxiety, that's what it is. People suffer. You just lost your spouse. Now what's going to happen? He was the breadwinner. I'm sitting with so many children, I'm a widow now, what should I do? I don't know where to earn. May Allah make it easy for you, my sister, my sister, we are here for you. We are a community. We are here for you by the will of Allah for the sake of Allah.

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Be strong, Allah will give you the strength, you may have to get up and do things you've never done before. But Allah will give you the strength. believe in Allah, and believe that Allah will give you that strength. But when you pity yourself and you expecting other people to do for you, that's not going to happen. Ask the widows they'll tell you first week everyone was at home. When it comes down to a weekend, few weekends, people used to come home. During the week I was quite lonely. Then even the weekends they stopped coming. It was only on the day of eat, they came and they actually spoiled my eat.

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The whole novella quwata in that in that it happens. Sometimes those who want to assist are actually the source of the problem.

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People have experienced it.

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But that is Allah showing you they will come to you for a few days. within that time of your ID pick yourself up and realize it's a blessing of Allah. It's a blessing. Allah is going to give you the strength. What to you is success. That's my question, my beloved system. What is success to you? Can I give you the answer?

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Success is when you have led a life in a way that the end prize is paradise. That's the only success there's no other success.

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If you had the millions and the billions and nobody died in your family before you and you still did not get paradise, you lost everything.

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That's not success. That's failure, because you lived for a few years, went into your grave.

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But if you had almost nothing on Earth, or you suffered loss after loss, and sickness and disease and this problem and childbirth was an issue, and you suffered miscarriages and you went through this and through that one after the other and you kept pushing yourself and thanking Allah worshiping Allah praising Allah not giving up on Allah, do you know what when you earn Jana, that is the ultimate success. That is the ultimate happiness. That is the virtue of Allah. That is the gift of Allah.

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Hadith of the prophets of Salaam, he says prophet will mean in moto. You know how powerful that is? It means the gift of a true believer is death.

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Why is it a gift? Simple ABC responds to that. Allah promises you when you do this, I'll give you this reward when you fulfill your Salah, I'll give you this reward. When you do your song or fasting, I'll give you this reward. I'll reward you multiplied by so much and I'll multiply it and when you stay away from sin, I'll multiply it when you when you do something wrong and you engage in is still too far. I will still write that for you as a reward because you sought forgiveness from us. When are you going to see all those rewards? When are you going to get all those rewards? Imagine the teacher tells you at school, okay, you are first in class you're going to get a prize.

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You keep asking the teacher when is

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The prize giving,

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they tell you

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27th of November.

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You can't wait for 27th of November.

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When the date comes, you have to get yourself to the school. And make sure when your name is called out, you walk up on the stage to collect your What?

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collect your prize, if you don't want to go to the prize giving, how are you going to get it?

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You know you're going to get a prize, but how are you going to get it, you refuse to go to the function or you don't want to get up on the stage.

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A similar example would be that of Jannah. Allah has promised you this is your prize, you're going to get this reward that he will in order to retrieve it. You need to come to us, you need to come to us, okay, I want to go to a line I want to get my prize. Allah says you know what we call the coming to us. We call it death. Allahu Akbar. We call it death. I mean, I am totally convinced that the day my eyes closed, I will absolutely be going to a much better place than I am in right now. Why? Because I have a calima I have a Shahada. I have a man I believe in Allah, I surrender to Allah. Wherever I faulted. I seek the forgiveness of Allah. And I try my best and I'm just a human and

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Allah knows he's created me as a human if Adam alayhis salaam fell and sought forgiveness and Allah forgive him. If I were to fall and seek forgiveness. Do you think the same Allah is not going to forgive me? I am convinced I'm going to a better place. I can't wait to get back to Allah. It's going to be superb. It's going to be amazing. I've heard that he is the fourth Rahim rock man What dude, most forgiving, most passionate, most kind, most loving?

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How can I think for a moment that I'm not going to go to a better place? In this world? I might have been temporarily at the mercy of someone who's ruthless. Someone might have shown me their power by firing me at work. It's a loss. Someone might have shown me there might by abusing me.

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We tell them, Oh Allah, they are showing us there might

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you show them your might Subhana Allah, you'll never go wrong.

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People have done all sorts to us in our lives. They've said things, all of us everyone without exception. People have to have back button about you why Allah is giving you a chance, the same question you got in your paper I got on my paper. How did I answer it? How did you answer it? If we answered it through the light shown by Allah subhanho wa Taala. Revelation, we will succeed. And if we have answered it in another way, we will fail.

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And that's why if I were to ask you, how many of you nobody ever bad bit about you? How many of you, nobody ever gossiped about you? How many of you nobody ever spread a rumor about you? There isn't a single person including the young ones, the minute you born, they start saying things about you.

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Especially in benoni.

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The minute you born, you start hearing things. Tyler, what did I do? Well, the mistake was you know what you were born and you had these beautiful curly locks. That's it. They have a problem with it. They can't stomach it. Now Allah and Allah, May Allah forgive us. May Allah grant us goodness.

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People will say all sorts people, it's their test. Ask yourself, do I say all sorts about other people? Am I a gossiper among the source of somebody else's hurt? Am I the source of somebody else's sleepless night? Am I in the source of somebody else's grief? If that's the case, you will never be assisted in your own grief?

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Do you want help in your grief, reach out to other people in similar grief, create a group that's why when I heard about this group, and I said, You know what, I will definitely come. What's the reason? The reason is,

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I heard that the messenger peace be upon him told us that Allah subhanho wa Taala says,

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I am with those who are brokenhearted.

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So if you were to go to those who are brokenhearted, you will find Allah. That's the reason why I'm here.

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We're looking for Allah, the help of Allah, the pleasure of Allah, that's what it is. Obviously, you know what I mean, when I say we're looking for Allah, we're looking for his pleasure.

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brokenhearted. There are people amongst us who don't know where the next meal is going to come from. They don't know where the next rental is going to come from because they've lost loved ones who kept them and protected them in a way that they didn't have to worry about it today. Suddenly, all the worry is on their shoulders, and then you have a problem. What's the problem? Well, people do not give people do not give

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The inheritance in the proper in the proper manner to some of the widows and sisters and this is why I want to address the brothers who are going to view this later on or who are going to hear this later on my beloved brothers if you are deceiving someone of their wealth and their inheritance or you're delaying them, or you're cheating them. Allah has warned you in the Quran of a severe punishment to come in this world and the next, make sure you take care of the widows and the orphans. The Hadith says the one who takes care of the widows and orphans for the sake of Allah is equivalent as the one who fasts all day, every day. And who stands in prayer all night, every night,

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La ilaha illa Allah, I haven't heard of a greater reward than that in terms of service to other people. So widows and orphans come first. And Allah has revealed a whole Surah Surah Nisa dedicated to widows and orphans, and the women. That's why he says right at the beginning, don't eat their wealth. Be careful, don't cheat them, look after them, take care of them. SubhanAllah there will come a point when you have young widows. Initially, they might say, you know what, I never want to get married again. Well lie It is the duty of the family and the community to ensure that they encourage them to get married, and to help them in that marriage. I know of families who don't want

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their

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sons widows to marry again, simply because they don't want the children perhaps to be in the care of another man. What selfishness is this? When the prophets of Salaam himself did the most noble thing by marrying only widows and divorced women besides one

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you had a greater chance of getting married to the Prophet of Allah sallallahu Sallam if you were a widow, then if you were a virgin,

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and Nowadays, people make it difficult they it's taboo widow wants to get married this year. stuffier Allah, what's so special about it say Mashallah Alhamdulillah

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Allah grant us is, we should be helping them. I know of so many who probably shy away from the topic.

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My beloved sisters, it's about time we open our hearts, we have a crisis on the globe at the moment in the Muslim Ummah, where we have hundreds of widows, if not 1000s, hundreds are just here in our own countries 1000s across the globe, who don't know where the next rental is going to come from.

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And here we are stopping our men from even assisting from even trying to be protecting.

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We need to think about it. Do you know why? I could be next. That's why I could be next.

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It's a serious matter. It's easy for people to just brush it under the carpet. But it's a crisis. Look at the answer and Mirage even at the time of the prophets of Salaam, it was not about being widowed, it was more about

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being driven out of your home and your belongings taken away. The unserer of Medina opened their homes and they shared half of their wealth with the Maha Julian who are total strangers besides for the Shahada.

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Besides for being Muslim, besides for being followers of Nabi Muhammad Sallallahu sallam,

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they were strangers. They open their houses, they shed half of their belongings, in some cases, much more than that happened. Subhan Allah.

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We're not even prepared to do a portion of that, for someone who we grew up with in our community, our society, we saw the last day suffered, but no, we don't have a big enough heart. And guess what, when it happened to us, and the rest of the community did exactly the same to us, but we did it to someone else before so it's just a circle, break it.

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May Allah forgive us?

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My beloved brothers, like I say, who may see this later on. We need to make sure we do the right thing. Don't be selfish.

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I remember a case I was dealing with some time back where

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the father of the deceased told his

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sons widow, who was his daughter in law at one stage, you know you're getting married again. mer whom would have been so upset.

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I saw a dream of that man saying it was the best thing that could have happened.

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Who am I a total stranger third party.

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So I told this man, I said, You know what, this is the dream my head.

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I'm not a prophet.

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And I'm not even a person on a level of spirituality. But I think it was a reassurance because of the way you insulted the widow when she wanted to just get mad.

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To someone so what it's been a while.

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May Allah make it easy, we're going to have to wake up otherwise we're going to have major problems in societies and communities. People look at look up to us as those who might guide them. And here we are trying to deal with issues.

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May Allah subhanho wa Taala make it easy.

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My beloved sister

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in sha Allah through the groups that you have,

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you will achieve support from the community, the Muslim community. And if you don't achieve that, you can go broader beyond your own small community to perhaps a larger community. You can reach anyone of

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the allama of the Muslim Ummah, if they are truly sincere, they will assist for the sake of Allah only for the pleasure of Allah without intending a thing, in return, nothing besides the pleasure of Allah.

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If we don't stand up for one another, and support one another, and create ease in the lives of one another, trust me, we're never going to be able to create ease in our own lives never

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can Allahu fi only labadi McConnell Abdu fumiaki, the process Allah says, Allah has helped will continue to come to a worshiper, for as long as that worshiper is continuing to help another worship.

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You want the help of Allah help other people, that's the ingredient.

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You want Allah to alleviate something, help others alleviate something similar.

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It's in many a hadith.

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Then my beloved, beloved mothers and sisters,

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another very interesting point is the hope in the mercy of Allah. Like I said earlier, personally, we should be having opened the mercy of Allah, we are human. We are meaning believers.

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We have faith.

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The fact that we are human, we sometimes we make mistakes, we sin sometimes when we turn back to Allah, that's the difference between a believer and a non believer. So I have hope in the mercy of Allah, that when I die, I'm going to generate a tool for those by the mercy of Allah, by His mercy, not necessarily by my deeds, my deeds are nothing, your deeds are nothing. Those are only an attempt to please Allah. The actual pleasure of Allah is what's going to take you into gender.

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So if you have lost a loved one,

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have hope that they have gone to Jenna, have hope that you are going to meet them very, very soon. Did you know that for them, Time passes so fast, but for us who are alive time takes long to pass. quick example is that of two people sleeping on a bed.

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One has dozed off, and the other one is tossing and turning and tossing and turning.

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Before you know it, it's already six o'clock in the morning, five o'clock in the morning, the alarm rings, the one gets up. The other one is like I haven't slept.

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This one says Oh, to me, it felt like two minutes. I'm already up.

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And the other one says What do you mean two minutes, it's been 20 long hours.

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Why? Because one was awake, one was asleep. The same example happens when someone passes away. You're on earth time takes long to pass. You've passed away a few moments and you're going to be on the day of piano a few moments. So don't worry, they're in a good place. Make dua for them.

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seek forgiveness for them. Do a charity perhaps on their behalf.

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Leave it in the hands of Allah. Don't stress beyond that point too much.

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Because it's not in your hands beyond that point. You can do whatever you can do the rest of it. have hope in the mercy of Allah, Allah will grant you, Allah will open your doors for you.

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Keep going, and Allah Almighty will open door after door you will see the goodness.

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Another thing my beloved mothers and sisters, raising a child in the correct way, is one of the greatest acts of worship.

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So even with the absence of or in the absence of your spouse, who's passed on, if you dedicate your time to raising the child in a good way, because you now have to be the mother and the father, you now have to spend a little bit more time it's challenging. Don't just sit in one corner and cry every day. Once in a while. It's normal to cry. Like I said it's healthy to cry. It's actually very beneficial sometimes to shed tears.

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But that shouldn't be all the time. What you need to do is

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you need to do something about it.

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ask Allah Allah strengthen me, grant me the power to do the right thing and move.

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Love.

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So the dhikr of Allah as I was saying is what will bring about the contentment and the calmness number one start off by reading the Quran on a daily basis, recite a portion and increase the portion on a daily basis. If you cannot recite guess what you can do listen to the recitation. There are 1000s of beautiful reciters turn it on, put on your earphones or leave it on in the house, on the speakers or wherever else it is convenient for everyone. And listen half an hour of the Quran. 20 minutes of it. Listen to the Quran attentively. You know what Allah says? What either goodie Allan Poe and who has Tammy Oh

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una lecanto hamoed. If you want to have Rama, that's the mercy of Allah upon you, then you need to know one thing and what is it?

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Let's see, we have the time.

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It is the graph by the mercy of Allah subhanho wa Taala the mercy of Allah if you want to achieve it. Allah says, Listen attentively to the Quran, when it is being recited, then you will achieve the mercy of Allah. Don't you want the mercy of Allah? I do you do. So listen to the Quran attentively. sit and listen to the words. And you know what? They are so many beautiful recites. Yesterday, I heard the recitation and even this morning after fudger I put it into my ears. Who was the recital, Haytham a Dwayne, you can see, you can go and check it out. Hi, Sam. A Dwayne. He is a beautiful reciter said recital but really amazing. It's soothing Subhanallah so many names we don't even know

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we did not know before. But this is it. May Allah Almighty grant us ease. So the remembrance of Allah is through the recitation of the Quran, listening to the Quran and then your daily as car don't leave them out. You know, La ilaha illa Allah who lashari Calhoun ko Allah Al hamdu lillahi wa you mean to who I like Alicia included? One of the most powerful statements you can say if you say it 100 times a day. You arrive on a new level of connection with Allah, think about it. Look into its meaning repeat it, check it and see what Allah does for you.

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May Allah Almighty Have mercy on us, my dear is mothers and sisters. I can't believe that 15 minutes is already up. We just about started the talk. But at the same time, do is something you must continue to make. Repeat the same time. If you need be as many times as you want. And as you can, and you see the mercy of Allah. Try small improvements in your life here and there. And inshallah if you need help, reach out for help. reach out for help. Number one, we first ask Allah is help. Allah will then help us through some of his worshippers, people will come to our assistance, maybe perhaps Allah will put it in someone's heart to say that may help this person. So you ask them after having

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asked Allah subhanho wa Taala you can then say, you know what, I need this help. If they come, it's from Allah. If they didn't come to help, Allah didn't want it to happen from there.

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May Allah subhanho wa Taala guide us and help us many people have suffered a lot of loss.

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But that is the plan of Allah. Take it in your stride, make dua connect with Allah. And like I said, Salah is also a great great relief. When distressed, cannot assume Allah is Allah Allah Allah Allah has Amman fazia illa Salah the proper Salam whenever there was something of importance that that you know, overtook him a little bit, he quickly rushed and made haste towards Salah to rock out of salah and he would pray and Subhana Allah, he would obviously lead by example. So all of us pray, your father must be in order Be strong. Make sure it's in place, take your time. It must be done as an honor. enjoy making Voodoo.

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Even when you have expensive makeup.

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Enjoy washing it off for the sake of Allah. Enjoy

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cleansing yourself for the sake of Allah. And then see how Allah opens your doors one after the other.

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When you do things for Allah, Who doesn't even need

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Do you not think Allah is going to do things for you when you're desperately in need?

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May Allah make it easy for you? May Allah grant is to all of us, every one of us may Allah grant our home in general for those May Allah subhanho wa Taala make it easy for us the day we leave the day we leave behind loved ones May Allah make it easy for us and for them. May Allah help each one of you in your responsibilities. And may Allah Almighty use us all to help one another as a Muslim Ummah and as humanity at large akula Kali hada sallallahu wasallam Allah Baraka, Allah, Allah

Dealing with Loss and Grief - Widows Support
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