Mufti Menk – Comfort in Times of Crisis #8

Mufti Menk
AI: Summary © The importance of cleanliness in marriage is discussed, along with advice on avoiding divorce and balancing upmarket. The speaker emphasizes the need for everyone to clean their bodies, including clothing, shoes, and bedding. The speaker also warns against giving reasons for spousal Bye-bye and encourages parents to encourage their children to get married in a good way. Islam's power to allow couples to get married without hardships is also discussed.
AI: Transcript ©
00:00:00 --> 00:00:00


00:00:02 --> 00:00:08

Hello the monastery no BS sabemos sala de

00:00:10 --> 00:00:13

la Hamas RBD

00:00:15 --> 00:00:43

Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim al hamdu Lillah wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah where Allah Allah, he was happy Jemaine, my brothers and sisters, Allah loves those who are clean. And Allah loves those who are pure, we have to purify the heart. And we have to clean ourselves externally, as well as internally. Remember, the Almighty says, in Allah, how you have

00:00:44 --> 00:01:36

been and what you have been removed upon hating, Allah loves those who constantly repent, and those who cleanse themselves. This is verse number 222, of Surah Al Baqarah. So my brothers and sisters, if you look at cleanliness, while we must keep our hands clean, while we must wash ourselves, while we must actually clean ourselves in a specific way, five times a day, to make ourselves ready for the prayer, we must make sure that our clothes are clean, our surrounding is clean, the environment is clean, the house is clean, the bedding is clean, the food we eat is clean. All this is part of the goodness that the almighty expects from us. Now, the Almighty only tells us to do that which is

00:01:36 --> 00:02:23

actually beneficial for us. So it can never be that he's instructed us something and it's not good for us. It has to be beneficial it will be whether we understand it or not, sometimes disease spreads. And we don't realize that the almighty had granted us a gift by teaching us about cleanliness, so it did not spread as much amongst us. However, at times, it's just a lesson for us to appreciate what the Almighty has actually revealed. So we become more conscious of the cleanliness factor. That's a gift of Allah, you want comfort, in times of crisis, make sure that you keep yourselves clean, make sure you clean your heart, like I said, Because what's the point of

00:02:23 --> 00:03:10

having such a good looking outward appearance, and your hands are clean and everything else is smart, your clothes are ironed very well, you're looking very neat with your haircut and whatever else it might be. But the way you speak is so bad, your heart is dirty, filled with disease filled with hatred, jealousy, deception, and so on. If we cleanse ourselves, we will definitely be able to achieve the comfort Allah says he loves those who seek forgiveness. And he also loves those who are very, very clean. So if you were to seek forgiveness from the Almighty, then you would automatically have to clean your heart because the two go together hand in hand, you clean your heart, you seek

00:03:10 --> 00:03:53

the forgiveness of the Almighty, He forgives you, and you have a big heart to forgive others as well. Now, one of the things where people go wrong is in marriage when the marriage is struggling. Remember, marriage is a very big sacrifice. If you are going to sacrifice you will be happy. If not, it will become a crisis. So if you want to protect yourself from the crisis within marriage, learn to trust one another and don't give reason for your spouse not to trust you. So while we're teaching you to trust one another, we're telling you don't give reason for the other not to trust you. So this is a very balanced statement. We must make sure we don't pry and spy on each other because the

00:03:53 --> 00:04:15

Almighty has warned us about that. Similarly, speak good with each other, help each other, reach out to each other don't put pressure or don't actually ask one another to do that, which is going to be difficult, very difficult, because then it might create a crack in that marriage. But the Almighty says you know what?

00:04:16 --> 00:04:55

As much as it's a sacrifice, we want you to love each other. We want you to have children together and to bring those children up. In my obedience. The Almighty says that's the whole name. It's not about having children and having more children, and you don't even look after them and you're not even bothered. That defeats the whole purpose. But if you have children and you look after them, and you give them a good upbringing, then you will be from among those who's protected from crisis. Many people have children and the children are the reason that they're upset and in crisis. The children sometimes are the source of their hardship. May Allah subhanho wa Taala not let that happen to us.

00:04:56 --> 00:04:59

So Allah says, however, at times

00:05:00 --> 00:05:46

It might end up being very difficult such that you are discussing divorce. Divorce in Islam is not prohibited. But it's not a joke either. It's a last resort, when someone really cannot make this marriage work anymore. And it's causing problem, hardship difficulty, it's becoming a strain on the brain. In that particular case, you may want to consider separating. And Allah says when you separate, it's definitely difficult. There will be other acts of worship, you're going to have to engage in that you never engaged in before. For example, if you have children, you will have to allow access or custody to either party, you will have to allow that whether you marry again or not.

00:05:47 --> 00:06:04

You have no option but to cooperate. If you don't, the Almighty is watching he knows. So make things easy. Never use your children as a tool or a weapon against one another. look after them spend on them, even if they happen to be with the mother.

00:06:06 --> 00:06:49

Make sure that the children are given the best upbringing and it's all about the goodness of those children. Learn to respect the mother or the father of your children, even if they're no longer your spouse, learn to respect them for the mere fact that you had children together, even if they did bad things, but put all those bad things aside when it comes to the betterment of the children. Yes, there are cases where if a parent was so abusive, that they don't qualify anymore for the access or the custody, that is a different issue. But that's not the norm. That's not what happens all the time. We must try and give the children a balanced upbringing in order to avoid ourselves a crisis

00:06:49 --> 00:07:31

and in order to grant ourselves the comfort that we so need. May Allah subhanho wa Taala bless every one of us. When you make someone else's life difficult, Allah makes your life difficult remember that it has to happen that way. So my beloved brothers and sisters, Allah speaks about divorce in Surah Baqarah. And Allah subhanho wa Taala says, well, there is a way of divorcing you divorce once thereafter, you may reconcile Wow, imagine what type of conflict it's the only teaching across the globe throughout all religions that if you were to divorce, the Almighty says well, you can reconcile come back, you may you might have realized something and you want to come back. So Allah

00:07:31 --> 00:08:15

says, For you, talaga ha fella, Juna Allah Hema, Raja, and if he had divorced her, there is no harm if both of them would like to get back to each other together. That's the first divorce. So Allah says, Well, if you feel you made a mistake, and you shouldn't have divorced, come back, come back together. Look at the comfort Allah has given you in times of crisis. It was a crisis. You made a mistake. You divorced someone Allah says, hang on, we have comfort for you. What's the comfort, get back together. But remember, when you divorce, do it the proper way. Learn how to issue the divorce. May Allah make it easy for us. Some people do the wrong thing, then they scream for help when they

00:08:15 --> 00:08:55

cannot be helped because they were foolish in the first place. But Allah says, Don't worry, we will help you you do it the right way. We allow you to get back together not once, but twice, two times you can get back together. So if you made a mistake and divorced, first time, come back. If you divorced a second time, you had a change of heart, something happened which was positive, you felt perhaps you wanted to get back or you thought you made a mistake. Allah says you can get back a second time. So Hannah, look at the power of Allah. Look at the comfort has given us amazing. And this is in Surah Al Baqarah, verse number 230. Allah subhanho wa Taala tells us in a beautiful way,

00:08:56 --> 00:08:59

then Allah says, If you divorce your spouse,

00:09:00 --> 00:09:41

don't become upset when they want to marry someone else. Make it easy for them, let them let them go. Sometimes a person divorces and when they hear that their ex wants to get married, they start putting a spoke in the wheels and a spanner in the works and they contact the new suppose ID spouse and begin to spread rumor and say hurtful and hateful things. Allah says do not do that you want comfort in your life. Let others live comfortably. It's okay, you didn't get along. They will get along with someone else. That's what Allah subhanho wa Taala says. So he warns us he says don't hold them back. Don't hold a woman back in a way that she's neither married to you because you're not

00:09:41 --> 00:09:59

fulfilling her rights. Nor is she divorced because you haven't issued the divorce so she cannot go to someone else. Either fulfill her rights properly, or release her respectfully. That is how you will achieve comfort Otherwise, you will be in the biggest crisis. May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us from crisis. So Allah Subhana

00:10:00 --> 00:10:47

hautala says that remember the favors of Allah upon you. Remember that Allah has blessed you with so much. So count the favors of Allah don't have a chapter open and you want to interfere negatively in your ex's life. Don't ever do that. That's your ex spouse, or that is a person you didn't get along with, leave them alone say a good word about them. And that's it. May Allah subhanho wa Taala. Grant us goodness. Similarly, the parents, the parents are being addressed to say, when the divorced girl wants to marry someone else, don't make it hard for them. We go a step further and say, My beloved parents when your daughter's or your sons would like to marry, someone, don't say no without a valid

00:10:47 --> 00:11:12

valid reason, if you don't have a valid reason, and racism is not a valid reason. tribalism is not a valid reason. The fact that this person is darker in complexion is never a valid reason. So remember, allow the marriages and Allah will allow for you to enter Paradise. Remember, if they're making a mistake, after you've tried to explain to them your opinion, and they're still

00:11:13 --> 00:11:53

stuck on their view, and they don't want to budge, it's better sometimes to allow them to make what you think is a mistake. And you might be surprised that they will be so happy. And even if it does end up being a mistake, it's not the end of the world, they can actually come back home and still happy and you can tell them my child, I love you. I told you it wouldn't work. But if we were to stagnate and we were to actually never consider what they want, perhaps we would be creating a crisis out of a comfortable situation, which is actually the opposite of what we're talking about today. So my brothers and my sisters, and my beloved parents, facilitate for your siblings and your

00:11:53 --> 00:12:18

children to get married in a good way give them good guidance from the beginning. Tell them what marriage is all about. Tell them how to choose a spouse so that the day they do take that step they will remember your words. The difficulty is we never participate in the lives of those we're supposed to be participating in. And then we complain May Allah forgive us a kulu Kohli haha or sallallahu wasallam Allah Baraka ala nabina, Muhammad

00:12:21 --> 00:12:27

levena Monastery, Mousavi was sala de

00:12:29 --> 00:12:29


00:12:31 --> 00:12:32


Share Page

Related Episodes