When Forgiving Is Complicated
Channel: Omar Suleiman
File Size: 20.27MB
We're unconditionally obeyed except for him. And we bear witness that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa Salam is his final messenger. We ask Allah to send his peace and blessings upon him the prophets and messengers that came before him, his family and companions that served alongside him and those that follow in his lesson path until the Day of Judgment, we ask Allah to make us amongst them Hola. Hola. I mean, the brothers and sisters often when we talk about some of the more difficult verses in the Quran, that require a serious compromise on our part, especially when it comes to a relationship when it comes to the issue of forgiveness. When it comes to the issue of dealing with harm that has
been done towards us. We quickly exceptionalist ourselves because we say, well, the Quran is speaking to a different situation. And I actually want to walk back for a moment and think about this for a bit. Oftentimes, it becomes very difficult to address some of the basic fundamentals of the deen when it comes to relationships when it comes to, for example, where Allah subhanaw taala mentions the obedience to the parents. And Allah subhanaw taala talks to us about the importance of forgiving people, and not have someone say, but what about my situation? What about my situation? What about my situation, my situation is exceptional. My situation is exceedingly difficult. And
sometimes it is indeed exceptional, the Shediac treats cases in accordance with their unique circumstances. But I want us to appreciate for a moment that the most difficult generation, or rather the generation that had the most difficult circumstances in relation to some of these verses, that demand from us these types of compromises, was the generation of the companions of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam, think about what it meant for them to read through the constant verses where Allah Subhana Allah mentions the treatment of the parents were many of them saw their parents on the opposite side on the battlefield, in the Battle of bed there, think about how difficult it
was for them to read the verses about forgiveness of your brothers that have harmed you. When they now have at the helm Karla didn't unbelievable. The Allahu Taala animal who orchestrated the massacre of multiple companions of the prophets lie some in the battle. And now the children of some of those people, their siblings have to stand behind Kyle a little the Allahu Taala and home and Battlefield and fight on one side, think about how hard it was for them. To hear these verses about forgiveness and of moving forward think about the difficulty of the shuttle the Allahu Taala and the the prime victim of the slander that took place of Hadith that would if what her circumstances were
like, and think about the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam himself, when the prophets lie Selim says that establishing the ties of kinship
includes reconciling with those who have cut you off. And also Allah salAllahu Alaihe Salam, how he was dealt with, with many of his kin, and he still SallAllahu Aarnio son, I'm trying to show a bigger heart to them, and still try to extend his hand towards them. And so let's just appreciate for a moment that, yes, forgiveness and some of these concepts can be very difficult. But there is no generation that would have been more challenged by these higher ideals and these higher calls than the companions of the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam. And so while there may be exceptions, don't be so quick to accept analyze yourself, and recognize that the Quran wants to challenge us in
the greatest way possible, to create a healthier community, but to also give us our individual pathways to the highest place that we can possibly have an agenda. And I want to just Inshallah, to go through a few of these instance and then talk about some of the ways that we can actually get past certain things. What are some of the strategies that we have from the companions of the Prophet slice Allah, that are Quranic based that are based in the Sunnah of the Prophet slice them to get through complicated situations, and I wanted to actually mention some of these situations where forgiveness was very complicated with the companions of the Prophet slicin. And one of them,
involves the time of the fitna, when a war breaks out between two sides of the companions of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wasallam.
And this civil war is instigated from the outside people have infiltrated the community of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam they have killed the Khalifa is mono the Allahu Taala and who and passions are very high, you have some companions that want to quickly avenge the loss of Earth model the allot of time and hope you have ideal the alongside and who is trying to settle things down, and ultimately a fight breaks out that is not organic, that is instigated from the outside, but that sees some of the most blessed people in fact, the most blessed generation while the Allahu Ultramarine may Allah be pleased with them all ended up on two sides of a battlefield
And I want you to think about the perspective of this one man, I'm the loving or I'm gonna be also the Allahu taala. And I'm the love no longer than us felt very uncomfortable with his circumstances and had a very unique predicament. He heard the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam say when he was speaking about to armies of believers breaking out and talking about where the signs of truth would be, he heard the Prophet science and I'm saying that about our motto biasa will the Allahu Anhu talk to who adhere to Berea the army that is the transgressing army. When this fitna breaks out, you will know it because the transgressing army will be the one that kills our model NASA will be allowed to
add on when this fight breaks out amongst companions, the best people. And so Abdullah saw himself on the day of this battle. And on the other side is amount of money Austin and Abdullah was a person who just wanted to focus on worship. He didn't want anything to do with any of this fighting. He wanted to stay out of everything.
And as he sees himself on that day, and he does not want to get involved in any of the fitna doesn't want to get involved in any of the hardship, any harming of anybody. His father reminds him as he wants to abandon the battlefield, that the prophets lie Selim said, outlet a back, I'm Adam to hire, obey your father, as long as you live, that the Prophet slice I'm told Abdullah, obey your father as long as your life.
So what did he do? He stayed, he held one of the flags, he put his head down, he cried, he did not throw a single arrow in the battle. Nor did he lift the sword one time, he did not participate. He simply obeyed His Father and He held the banner and in such pain to see this Fallout happen. Such pain to see this Fallout happened between the best of people because even the best of people can have this happen to them.
And afterwards, one of his close friends was in Hussein, have no idea what are the Allahu anha. And in her saying about the Allahu Anhu was very hurt. Your childhood friend is on the other side participating in this and it's very hurtful to him that this took place and years pass, and that relationships never going to be the same again. And subhanAllah This is a very human element and you can see all the complexities of the situation.
These people came back together and came back under one banner again and sorted themselves through the fitna. But the damage the pain that took place as a result of that that was done. And for a lot of people getting over that is not something that they could think of. And I'm loving your honor also the Allahu Allahu Allah. He knew how hurt Al Hussein al the Allahu Anhu was. So what would he do? Just look at this Subhan Allah when it Hossain would walk into a gathering and say a Salam or Aleikum.
Everyone would say, why are you going to Sudan? We're not going to LA he'd wait until the others finish. So he could say why are you going to Sudan Moroccan Salah separately so his voice could be heard separately like I'm talking back to you. Why are you going to sit down? I hope you notice we're still brothers, that we're still friends.
And they're saying, well, the Allahu Anhu did not acknowledge it, except for the basic setup, they said salaam to each other, but they never really went back to being tight again.
And Abdullah and I would cry and he would say, Maddie will what? He said clean manually. Italian Muslimeen. What is it with me? How did I find myself in that predicament? How did I find myself in a battle between Muslims and believers? I never wanted to be involved in these situations. And he'd cry.
And his old friend that Hussein Well, the Allahu Anhu walks by and he tells some of his companions, he says, Allah Bureau can be a heartbeat earlier this summer. He says to the people around them, he says, You want me to tell you who the most beloved people are the most beloved of people on earth to the inhabitants of the heavens is you want me to tell you who the best person right now amongst us is. He says that person in her saying, but he said he hasn't spoken to me since the day of Sophie. Monica lemony Mundo Sophie. And he cried. I want it back. I want us to forgive each other and move on. I want him to hear me out. I know why he's upset with me. He saw me on the other side holding a
banner and he never felt he never maybe let that go. Maybe he's giving me the rights of a Muslim but he never let it go. So Alyssa Aidilfitri are the Allahu Taala and who sees the situation? He comes to Abdullah and he says let's go talk to him together. This is after some time has passed.
And Elissa aid was very close to her saying so he brings Abdullah ignore Omdurman us to meet Al Hussein may Allah be pleased with them all.
And Hussein all the Allahu Anhu season so now more income when it comes to Salam again, he gives them the rights of a brother but I really can't go past that with you right now.
And I will say aid tries to break the ice between these two brothers. And then her say Hussein asked him the question that has been burning inside of him for years. How did you fight against my father? How could you hold a banner and an army against my father
How could you do that? And Abdullah says to him Wallahi nothing was more hated to me than being in the battlefield. And I wanted to abandon the battlefield altogether. And I never wanted to involve myself in fitna and hardship and tribulation. He said, But one time my father complained about me to the Prophet salallahu alayhi salam, not that I was disobedient to him, but that I pray too much. And I fasted too much and I read too much Quran and the prophets lie some told me to moderate my recitation of the Quran moderate my prayer, fast less because you're gonna burn yourself out. And then he said, Yeah, yeah, Abdullah, up there aback. Oh, Abdullah, obey your father as long as he's
And so he said, I found myself in a predicament where I had to obey my father. But he said to him, saying, he said, I didn't throw an arrow. I didn't hold a sword. I just carried the banner and assembled the law and who forgave him. And they reconciled Subhanallah look how complicated forgiveness can be. This whole time had this conversation happened earlier. And Hussein may have known about a circumstance from Abdullah that would have made his heart softened towards him. Had Abdullah gone to him and forced the conversation, maybe it would have thought a little bit earlier. And there is the noble man of Abu Saeed that sees two people that says, You know what, I'm going to
take you and I'm going to make you sit with this person. And I'm going to end this now.
Forgiveness can be complicated, it can be very complicated, and it was harder on them than anybody else in some of these situations. Subhanallah what harder than for Abu Bakr to study called the Allahu Taala and hope to forgive the man who slandered his daughter, and to continue to give him sadaqa what harder than that a man who caused this much misery to you, to your daughter to the most beloved person in the world to Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa salam. But look what happens. Now, what do we do in these situations? And what's the balancing act? Because there is forgiveness and accountability, right? So what do we do when we find ourselves in some of these situations and
recognize that sometimes it's not that simple. It's not simply just say somebody come and hug it out in the masjid and it's over. Sometimes there is a lot that's happening in the background. There are three things that you take from the companions of the prophets of Allah on us. Number one,
is to try to find the redeeming factors of the person. What's redeeming in your relationship? When Allah azza wa jal talks about divorce without tensile Fabula Boehner calm don't forget the good times between you and what are the redeeming factors? So for example, what was it With Missa? Who slandered you so the Allahu taala. And he was one of the people of better, what was it with?
What was it with how to be belterra a very intriguing story, it will the Allahu anhu, a man who was from the Veterans embedded, and who got caught in a weak moment. And who wrote a letter when the prophets lie son was going into Fetta Hammacher into the conquest of Mecca wrote a letter to the Mexicans in advance to inform them over the prophets plan SallAllahu Sallam not because he was a hypocrite, but because he didn't have any allies in Mecca. So if things didn't go right, he was he thought he was going to be apprehended and he was going to be the most vulnerable of the companions. So in a moment of weakness, he wrote a letter Djibouti to it his salaam came to the Prophet sighs
I'm told him about it. And also la si some son Ali and Zubaydah and dad to catch the person who was on her way with the letter and intercepted and when it came back to the Prophet sighs I don't imagine how tough is in front of the prophets lie sentimental, the Allahu Anhu. And look what you've done. You almost just compromise the Prophet slice, I'm in the companions. Why?
And Amara de la Anna says, he's a hypocrite, let me and him. And also Allah sai Salam says, first of all, he's a person of British. He reminded our model the law and who that No, he's a veteran of better so there's something to him because people didn't come out together to that were hypocrites. They were good people, the best of people that came out to better.
And he asked how to what happened and how to set deatils Walla Walla, he I did not do so to put you in harm's way or anyone else. But all the other companions have people in Mecca that could help them out if the battle doesn't go right if things don't go, right. They have allies, they have tribal connections, I have nobody. So if things were going to go wrong, I was going to be the most in trouble. So I got weak and I wanted to just establish some sort of a link so that I wouldn't be vulnerable in that situation. He was held accountable, but he was also forgiven. So the first thing was thinking about something good about the person, what are the redeeming qualities of a person
when you have that type of
harm that takes place between you? What's something redeeming that I can think of in terms of their Eman in terms of their Salah in terms of their Salah in terms of their righteousness? Number two. Number two.
Can I look at the circumstances of the situation and not justify the person's wrongdoing with the circumstances, but still say the circumstances were different
Hold on that person and I can forgive them even though it's not an excuse. I'm not excusing the behavior of the love No, I'm not the law 100 Hussein or the Allah Allah Al Hussein is not excusing the love No, but he understands now a little bit more about the circumstances that he was in that maybe led him to that predicament. The prophets like Selim saying we can understand and how to have as bad of a decision he made the mistake that he made the circumstances there's room there from sunk for some personal one, for some good assumption, something to be extrapolated to give that person a means towards forgiveness. Number three, focusing on the greater reward.
Number three, focusing on the greater reward. Well, yeah, for the US for Ella to have been an athlete Hola Hola, como. Let them forgive and let them part in Don't you want Allah subhanaw taala to forgive you. So the first thing is finding something redeeming about the other person. The second thing is finding an excuse due to the circumstances without excusing their behavior in the circumstances. The third thing is when they aren't for what you asked for who enter to help Bonilla fit Hola Hola, como. Forgive and pardon? Don't you want Allah subhanaw taala to forgive and pardon you. Now, here's the other side of that. Allah subhanaw taala is speaking to us about a situation in
which a person is repentance, in which a person is seeking forgiveness. Allah is not speaking about the unrepentant transgressor, nor is Allah subhanaw taala speaking about checking, a harm that is still imminent to someone else, so you don't put someone in an abusive situation. You don't say about someone who does not seek forgiveness, that we should forgive them. Right, you can remove yourself from the prison of a grudge without still, you know, forgiving a person who hasn't sought forgiveness. Allah subhanaw taala is still establishes an environment of accountability. And this is actually the power of the Quran in this regard. As much as Allah subhanaw taala is pushing us to
forgive and as much as Allah subhanaw taala talks about the repentance having a way forward. Allah does not use kinds language towards oppressors and transgressors in the Quran the way he uses it to a person who sins on their own and has their individual since the language that Allah subhanaw taala uses to oppressors is don't think you're gonna get away with this. Don't think that Allah subhanaw taala is unaware. Don't think that Allah subhanaw taala does not see you're wrong. It tackles volume for in the form of oral natron Yama, Yama, beware of wronging someone because it will be darkness for you on the Day of Judgment. So the language that Allah uses towards the person doing the
oppressing and doing the wrongdoing is very harsh language. And Allah subhanaw taala simply leaves a window of Toba without speaking lovingly to that person, and this is something that some of their element mentioned. Allah speaks lovingly to the sinner in the Quran calls them back to Allah Kalia Eva the Alladhina Astra for Allah and forcing him. La Tekna toma Rahmatullah say, Oh, my servant who has transgressed against themselves don't despair from the mercy of Allah. But when Allah speaks to the oppressor in Alladhina, Fattah and many in our community through Melania, Tubu Fela Hamada Bucha Hannah Mala Hamada will hurry those who have harmed and put to trial the believing men in the
believing women and they don't repent. They have a way to repentance as well. But the language is a lot harsher. Allah Subhana Allah, Allah will put them into hellfire and Allah Subhana Allah, Allah will punish them severely. So there has to be an initiation. And if you are on the other side of that, do not let your arrogance and do not let your sense of immunity stop you from going and seeking forgiveness from someone that you've harmed and do not depend on the other person's Teskey to get you out of hell. That person might forgive you because they want a higher reward from Allah Subhana Allah to Allah, but you still might be punished because you need to be forgiven by that
person and by Allah Subhana Allah to Allah. And so there's that balance of a higher incentive for a person to forgive, and a higher sense of urgency to go seek forgiveness when attacks are done. Hola, rafidah, Emiliana Lattimore. And don't think Allah subhanaw taala is unaware. But their brothers and sisters, it was complicated for the companions. None of these situations, none of these ayat that came down none of these are Hadith that came down, ignored people's complexities. They just called us to the highest version of ourselves, and the believers always strive to be in the best position. And I end with this thought, Subhan Allah. Was there ever anyone that could come to the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and say that he wronged them, and did not provide them any recourse. One of the proofs of his prophethood in fact, that the scholars mentioned is that as many of these things happen as a nature as natural is between human beings, not a single person could come to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi salam when he started his call and say but remember you still owe me this and you still did this to me and you did that to me and you did this to me was sola slice and I'm had no grievances against him. Even in
that in the heat of the climate, no one could bring forth a personal grievance against the Prophet slicin. Think about that. Think about that. May Allah freed us from being grieved on the day of judgment by our own sins and transgressions and may Allah subhanaw taala allow us to get past our own grievances with a higher reward and may Allah subhanaw taala comfort us in a way that only he can comfort us Lama Amin a Furukawa was stuck with Allah. Allah commonly said the Muslim investor fill in the hole for
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