Moutasem al-Hameedy – Friday Khutbah Dec 8
AI: Summary ©
The importance of parenting and self-help in bringing about change is emphasized in Islam. The physical actions of humans are supposed to bring to "we," and creating a clear understanding of one's values and family relationships is crucial. The importance of learning from experiences and experiences with parents is also emphasized. The responsibility of parents to act with faith and hold on to their children is emphasized, along with educating children on their deeds and being open-minded in order to achieve better life. There is also a need to act with caution and love in order to achieve better life.AI: Transcript ©
Alhamdulillah Hindu who want to stay in who want to still feel when we learned him in Saudi and fusina was the year Dr. Molina Mejia the healer who Fela Mobley Delilah who am a young little fella heard the
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is due to our Lord.
We praise Him, we seek His help, and we ask for his forgiveness. And we seek protection and refuge in Allah from the evils of ourselves and the evil consequences of our actions. Whomsoever Allah guides, none can lead astray, and whomsoever Allah leaves to go astray, Nan can guide I bear witness and I testify that Nan has the right to be worshipped, except Allah subhanho wa Taala alone. And I testify that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is his slave and His Messenger or you who believe fear Allah as he should be feared, and do not accept as Muslims in a state of submission to Allah. All mankind be dutiful to your Lord who created you from a single person. And from him he created
his wife and from them both he created many men and women, and fear Allah through whom you demand your mutual rights and observe the rights of your kin. Surely Allah is Ever and all Wiltshire over you,
or you who believe, keep your duty to Allah, fear him and speak the truth He will direct you to righteous deeds and will forgive you your sins. And whoever obeys Allah and His Messenger has indeed attained a great achievement. The best words are those of Allah azza wa jal, and the best guidance is that of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa early he was salam. And the worst things in the religion are the newly invented matters for all the newly invented matters and religion are considered to be innovation and bidder and every bidder is misguidance. And it leads to the hellfire.
Allah subhanaw taala mentions
one of the parents by name in the Quran. And Allah describes him by wisdom. And that's the only time this man is mentioned in the Quran. And he's described as a wise man who has been given wisdom by Allah subhanaw taala. And the whole story about him which is about a page one page and the Quran
only talks about the parenting side of his character or his personality. It only addresses the parenting issue. And I just want to talk about his example take his example today as a starting point. So we can take guidance for our days for parenting in our dates. And my hope was not necessarily primarily about parenting. But parenting this just as a case in point is an example to see how generally speaking how Muslims we are supposed to engage with life, how we are supposed to be prepared for life, how we are supposed not to run away from life, how we are supposed to be ahead of our circumstances, instead of lagging behind and trying to catch up.
Allah Oh the great Khalifa
Allahu Anhu says
in his famous statement,
has he bought and Fusa calm Kubla and to her Cebu was an Allah, Allah and Tucson or was in
Tucson Alikum. He says hold yourself to account hold yourself accountable. Before you are held accountable by Allah.
And put yourself in a state of audit, check yourself out and weigh out your deeds and your state before you are put or before your deeds are put on the scale. So do it now, before it is done to you later on, be ready before the real audit and the real account takes place. Do some kind of a reality check now be ready for that, in a sense, be ahead of your time. Be ready for what's lying ahead of you. And this primarily applies to our state with the hereafter. So we should be weighing ourselves against the commands of Allah subhanaw taala saying, Are we obedient to Allah have I done enough for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala. And when I say Have I done enough for the sake of Allah subhanaw
taala as usual, we don't only talk about the external actions because these are just one part of what we are, we are supposed to do. A great deal of what we are supposed to do is internal is from our manual lube is from the actions of our hearts, patience, love, kindness, justice, forgiveness, come raid, help.
All of these courage. All of these are actions we are actions of the heart that we are supposed to weigh up. Do I possess enough patience in my life?
Do I possess enough courage to do what is right in my life? Have I developed within myself enough forbearance and tolerance towards people's mistakes? And towards the calamities of this life? Have I developed enough of this within myself? These are things we are supposed to put to an audit process. That's part of the statement of Vermont hubbub. So it's not just counting the external deeds. And you know, a couple of decades ago, there was a trend in the Muslim world where some kind of timetable was being passed on and spread around among people as to how many actions I did today, like how many Iraq as I prayed today, how many extra Iraq has did I fast today or not, and there are
boxes that you tick. As an idea, that's good, but that's very limited, because of our actions. And as we previously in previous hotbars, we quoted some of the scholars of the Muslims that they say the most important deeds with Allah subhanaw taala are actually internal or internal and if you consider a lot of what we do like Salah, the probably the main physical action that we humans are supposed to engage in. And when I say mean physical action, that's not even an accurate statement. Because salah is not only an physical action is not only a physical exercise, a great deal. The main part of Salah is what happens in your heart during the process, what is going on through your mind
as you're engaging in Salah. So it's our limited understanding that we are talking about the physical actions, but we are supposed to bring to awareness, other things because it is accessible to some people who don't have faith, who don't have Eman. It's accessible to people whose hearts and minds are messed up to meet these external parameters. The hypocrites at the time of the Prophet SAW Salem, a lot of them were in the first line the Masjid.
But they have they possess no Eman and Allah says about them in pneumonia if you're enough it don't kill us, Philomena nah, the hypocrites are in the deepest recesses the deepest depths of the Hellfire.
But these people externally performed the expected physical actions. So we have to see the actions in that holistic sense. So this is how when we hold ourselves ourselves accountable, we have to also pay attention to this reality that we have to see what our hearts are doing. Do I have hatred towards Muslims? Do I have envy? Do I have sincerity in my heart to Allah? Am I aware of Allah subhanaw taala most of the time?
Am I doing things in good faith? Or am I so selfish and self centered? Rama is so full of grudges and hatred and jealousy. These are things we are supposed to hold ourselves accountable. And there's no one who can hold you accountable that because these are inaccessible to anyone else. But Allah subhanaw taala and second yourself. So we need to get in touch with ourselves and figure out what we're doing. And if we are doing well are not so proud of this kind of Maha Sabha. I want to take it one step further to where we usually take where we usually stop with or where we usually reach take it a step further. Yes, let's get ready for the hereafter but also, let's be
For ourselves for the near future in this life,
like let's and here we're going to apply it to parenting.
There are a lot of issues in the Muslim community, there are a lot of marital problems, a lot of problems between husband and wife. And they only come to light. People only admit that we have a problem when it reaches a no return points when it's too late. But as long as people can just get by, and you know, sweep it under the rug, and suppress it and keep on playing, like, Play dumb, and live in denial, they will still pull it off, they still do it. And they don't care that there's a problem and it's festering underneath. They don't care until it reaches a point where this it's, you know, irreparable, there's no way to fix it anymore. Now people start to realize there is a problem,
they start running out to Imams to elderly people, to senior members in the community, to people who can give advice, come on, you know, help me there's this situation that is that situation?
Why did you wait for so long? Why did you wait for 1020 30, sometimes 40 years, and you only realize there's a problem when you are on the verge of separation.
And in order to deal with these things, we need one of the actions of the heart. And that's courage. That's courage. So that's one of the spouses. But what about with children? Oftentimes, because as parents, we have much more control, we have much more power, we're physically stronger. We're much we know more about the world, we can speak generally speaking better.
I'm the main person in the in the in the family in the household, the kids most likely are gonna listen to us, although there's a lot of exceptions now, because kids are being taught to be disrespectful, these days. But generally speaking, the parents are the ones who are in control. They are the ones who you know, hold on to the steering wheel, and they are the ones who are navigating, you know, the family or the ship of the family throughout these troubled waters. The thing is, do we put our parenting style or parenting results to audit? Do we check them out? Because there are consequences there, how our children are going to grow up to be good Muslims, or lousy Muslims, or
maybe doubtful Muslims who doubt Islam altogether? Or maybe even worse?
What is going to happen when they grow up? Are they going to split completely from the family, and probably not even care about their parents? And not be dutiful and thankful to their parents? Maybe they'll get themselves in trouble? Will they be successful professionally, in terms of their schooling and education? All of these are things that we are supposed to check every now and then how is my parenting style doing? Am I developing a good connection with my son with my daughter, with my spouse? Why don't we Why do when it comes to our financial states, we start towards the end of the year, we start checking our accounts, we make sure we're paying our taxes, that we meet all
the ends, and that we are fulfilling our obligations. And we are not at a deficit. And we try to get things to work out. So we put the numbers together which are checking them against each other. We do this financially, in a world that is heavily pushing everyone towards, you know, capitalism and all it's all about money and wealth and possessions. People are counted the value of people is counted by how by the bank accounts.
But we know we still Muslims, we still believe in Allah, we still know that the reality of this life is about what do we make out of this life? Whatever Allah has given us, we have to create a conversion of the basic resources Allah gave us, we are supposed to produce good things. We're supposed to produce good things that will be an asset for us in the in the hereafter. That's the kind of audits all of us are supposed to do. And part of it. If you are a parent, if you're a spouse, you're supposed to check. How is my relationship with my spouse doing? How was that year?
Hold a couple of meetings with your spouse, call it a formal meeting, said Come on, let's make an audit of our relationship this year. What did we do? How much time did we spend together? Were we respectful to one another? Did we express enough love and care and attention? Was I there for you? Were you there for me? What went wrong? What were the obstacles that were holding us back? How can I improve this? How can we improve it, then get some kind of idea some kind of recommendations how we can improve it next year and then compare it to the previous year and so on and so forth. That's how businesses thrive when they create that kind of clarity based on numbers and based on all of these
equations. But we care more about our families. We care more about our hearts, our religion, our relationship with Allah subhanaw taala about
were children and their future, much more than we care about money. Not that we don't care about money because we can't survive without it. But these are things that we hold more dearly money is more of a means. But these are the real values that we hold on to. They make us who we are.
They create our outlook on life.
With my children, why don't parents spend time with their children, each one separately at aside,
create an audit a list of what did I do for my kids this year? How much time did I offer them?
If it was very little time, then this is a red flag. Just pay attention to that's not to beat yourself down or whip yourself. But find out what was holding me back. Maybe I was just too busy. Maybe my mind was too busy. Maybe I had to do you know two shifts? I had to work two jobs.
Even though with this busy schedule, how can I create some space, maybe take one day a week, make sure that I have one day off a week where I spend at least like one two hours with each child and with your spouse, create the time create the space to do this? And then what's the relationship between me and my child? Is there a good rapport? Is there good relationship? Does my child find me trustful? Do they trust me to open up to me and bring their concerns to me? Or are they fearful of being policed and being punished so that they keep their stuff to themselves, they don't trust that I really care, they think I'm just gonna judge them. So they hold back and they're gonna find
someone else to confide in, and disclose all that stuff to untrust tomorrow, and that person, maybe they're not going to lead them in their best interest. So these are things we're supposed to fulfill or
implement, what I'm going to talk about the Allahu Anhu said, these are aspects that are important because ultimately, all of these aspects, our relationship with our spouses, our relationship with our kids, all are going to affect our results on the hereafter.
All of that is going to, we're going to be held accountable for that the prophets of salaam says could look almost all on camera, and we could look at each one of you is in a position of leadership responsibility, and you will be questioned about that. Then he mentions the father, he mentioned is the mother being responsible in their household and there will be questioned by Allah subhanaw taala about this.
So why don't we create an audit, I'm going to keep it limited to our relationships with our spouses and our relationship with our children.
Take external parameters, how much time have I spent? Take, you know, abstract parameters? What's the that time was it quality time? Or was it just I was present in my physically I was present by my mind was busy with something else. Check out these things. What's the relationship? Is my relationship with my son with my daughter? Is it better this year than it was last year? What can I do to improve it? All of this is gonna give you guidelines is gonna give you help you map out your way to to create a better family, and you're gonna find more peace, you're gonna find more peace. Sometimes we don't realize that there are things one of the things that really sort of wake me up,
one of our brothers here met some of the younger children in our community, a 678 years old. Two, and these are kids who go to Muslim schools, and their parents are Muslim. And they had some questions, some weird questions that a normal child wouldn't wouldn't normally ask
strange things about Allah and about the world and about the creation and about death that a child normally doesn't ask about unless they are exposed to something inappropriate. So see, a lot of the parents think, oh, it's the imam in the masjid is going to teach my kids the Quran teacher in the mystery is going to teach my kids, it's the teacher in the Islamic school that's going to take care of my education of my kid. I don't need to teach them. Don't ever fall into this trap. Don't ever fall into this trap. Because the Imam there are so many people in the masjid. In the class, there is so many kids in the class. There will be gaps in what there's a limit to what the teacher can offer.
This there is no there are numbers of other children. And the child loves to learn from their parents. They love to learn much more from their parents. So part of the audit that we are supposed to do is do I teach my kids you might say I don't know. Learn. Learn this way the masajid have Hello because they have classes. They offer talks, they offer advice and reminders. And you don't know you can ask the imam or ask the Quran teacher of a simple good book that I can read with my family at least once a week. Sit with your family for one hour say we're going to read a couple of Hadith and their explanation simple explanation, and we're going to discuss it together as a family
So your child gets to learn.
Our children know more about, you know all of these video games, because we leave them to the video games because we don't want the headache. But you don't know what video games are teaching them.
Things about Allah things about life, things about the hereafter that mess them up.
These are serious things that kids are asking crazy questions about who Allah is some of the kids think Allah is some kind of an extra terrestrial some alien in space. Truly their questions show that this is their idea.
Tell me what is a kid? What does it get this idea from?
I can tell a parent, the parent of that child never spoke with that child about Allah.
Children are inquisitive by nature, they will come to you, they'll approach you, they will ask you about life, they'll ask you about some injustice. Sometimes it happens among siblings. You know, they have jealousy, they have issues, they have friction, they're gonna complain to you use these things, to tell them about how to love their, their siblings use these things to teach them about life. Regardless of what you do in life of what their level of education your life, you have an experience, you've been around for a while. You have some experience, teach them about life, kids needs perspective. And when they come to you with the questions, that's the time when they want to
learn. That's the time when their minds are absorbance they want to learn
and that's all responsibility. If you're gonna think oh, I'm not responsible that Imam is going to do it or aren't teachers going to do it? You know, the teacher in the Islamic school is going to do it. You know, that does not free you in front of Allah subhanaw taala about that responsibility. Everyone should do their share.
Most of what we know a lot of what we hold dearly and know very well about Islam in terms of our beliefs about Allah, our theta, how much we love Islam comes from our mainly our mothers
or mothers is they playing with us, they teach us things they used to teach us things. This this this this thing, that thing in this situation, you were in trouble. Um, the mother tells you just turn to Allah, everything's is in his hands and he knows how to answer you. So all of this connects you to Allah subhanho wa Taala
here's a little child disconfirming what I say I think he agrees with that.
So these are things I think we have to pay attention to Apollo already had our stuff for Allah how to convert stuff
hamdulillah he'll be here let me know salat wa salam ala Sayidina Muhammad in early wasabi in my bed. So I'm gonna go to the story simply very quickly, swiftly to the story of Luke Mandel. The Allahu
Rahim Allah.
Allah Subhan. Allah speaks about Lachman that he gave him hikma. Welaka attained Aquaman and HEC Mata Anish coral Allah, we gave look man wisdom, and we commanded him to worship or to thank Be thankful and grateful to Allah for this wisdom. When my gosh call for him is cool enough. So whoever is thankful that he's thankful he's going to reap the fruits of this thankfulness, woman kafele offer in Allah Vani Yun Hamid and whoever is ungrateful, then Allah subhanaw taala doesn't need your thanks Allah. Allah deserves all praise and Allah doesn't need anything from you. What if parla so he does have a lot of choices to introduce his local man. Then the first thing Allah mentions we've
called a local man who live in New Haven where you're able who we are gonna yella to Shrek villa, in a circle of women having their shows that look man was addressing his son, he says, oh my son, when he was reminding him giving him admonition, do not associate partners with Allah, indeed, should. associating partners with Allah is such a great deed or act of injustice.
Now, no parent would be able to reach such a topic to speak in such depth with their son unless they have good relationship that shows that look, a man would take the time out to spend alone with his child and with his son and speak with him so dearly. Yeah. Bucha Yeah. Oh, my dear son, Oh, my dear son, do not associate partners with Allah. Somebody might think because this is such an invasive abrupt approach that he saw his his son, I just approached him. He said, Don't associate partners with Allah, as many parents do. Like we police, we love to police our kids.
But that's not the way the ways to build rapport, build trust, build relationship.
So he established obviously, it's so clear from the context that he established a good relationship with his son. And the first thing he tells him about is Allah is Allah subhanaw taala. And that's the most important thing that we need to teach our kids. Don't leave this for the Imam. Don't leave it to the school teacher. Don't leave it to the Quran teacher. Don't leave it to the tutor of the child. They're going to do their part. But you have it has to come from you as a parent. It has to come from you
Who. And if you listen carefully, if you spend enough time with your kids, they're going to come to you with questions. They're going to ask you about death. They want to know, each human being is asking these questions. But if you have an open, you know, means of communication channel of communication with them, they will come to you. But if they don't feel that they can approach you with this, they're not going to come to you. They're going to search the answers somewhere else, or they just keep the questions and try to figure them out on their own. And that's a very risky approach. So they would come to you and ask you about death. Any parent who spent some time with the
kids they know this kid is gonna tell you, you know, is death the end? What's gonna happen after death?
Why did Allah create us? He's, they're gonna ask you questions, some of us, unfortunately, and you know, ironically enough, we think, wow, the child is asking, Why did Allah creators fear Allah, you can't ask this question this shape on? No, that's the footrot trying to find answers. When the kids come to you with questions. That's the time they want to learn. That's the time you should tell them about Allah. Not catch them when they're playing, tell them come break their game, okay, or break their playtime and say, I want to teach you about Allah, that's not the right time. They will come to you at times when they want to learn. And that's the time you you show them who Allah is. And the
beginning is many of the early generations advice at early ages. You don't talk about punishment, because you have first to establish you know what the fitrah knows about Allah that Allah is so merciful. And Allah I saw caring, Allah is Allah Amanda Rahim that Allah was good for His creation. That's what Allah wants. Because the child will not be able to understand properly the concept of punishment, still, they don't know how to understand it, they will get the wrong idea. So you wait until they reach a certain age where they can reason at a higher level. And then you show them what's the concept of punishment, then they know it comes from justice. But if you introduce it too
early, the problem a lot of us, most of what we tell our kids or probably all what we tell our kids about Allah is if you don't listen to your mom, you go into the hellfire, Allah will put you in the hellfire. That's what we have to tell them about Allah. And then we wonder when they grow up, that they have issues in their Deen
they have concerns about about the Mercy of Allah subhanaw taala that they complain about what happens in life and about how Allah makes things go.
But we've been paving the way for that we've been planting the seeds for this misunderstanding about Allah subhanaw taala. So first, he talks to him about Allah. Then he talks to him about parents will assign an insert to be worldly, the hemella to more one and Allah one. Then he talks about how look man allihies Salam advised his son, about parents rights, to be dutiful, to the parents, to be good to the parents, that's thankfulness. That's gratitude to be good to the parents because it's very rare and very hard for someone who's ungrateful to their parents to really lead a good life and ethical life. Because it defies basic logic. If you're not grateful to the people who are
responsible for you coming to this world, the people will suffered a lot for you to come into this world and grow as a as a human being.
What are you going to? Where is the goodness gonna be?
How, what kind of goodness and thankfulness or gratefulness, of kindness of Mercy you're gonna give to other creatures? Then Allah then he the advice, he tells him that even if your parents push you against Islam, you know, you don't listen to them, you hold on to your deen, but you still treat them? Well. You still treat them well, that shows the importance of these ethical principles. Then he takes him to the concept of accounts. He says, basically, whatever you do, whatever you do, Allah Subhana Allah knows about it, he's telling him more about Allah subhanaw taala. That an atom's weight of deeds good or bad, Allah knows it, Allah records it and Allah is aware of it, and Allah
will hold you accountable for it. So that building a sense of responsibility, whatever you do has consequences. You're responsible for your actions, choose them wisely.
It's not that whatever you do is just going to go in the past No, you're gonna face it again in the future. And then he turns into the obligations of Islam you're gonna you're not gonna salata
was,
Oh, my son, established the salah, established the prayer, and enjoying the good and advice against the evil.
These are things that obligations you have to do towards Allah and towards the community, give advice to people. What's better Allah ma Sabah can be patient he instructs him with patience. And the context also shows this is not just a verbal advice. Look, man who was teaching through his example, because it doesn't make sense that he would admonish his son and give him this advice when he was lacking there. He definitely was a great example there. And also, it shows within the context that he must have trained his son as to how to develop these things, because oftentimes our kids say, How do I develop patients, not only kids, adults all the time
So how do I develop more Taqwa? How do I develop more class? How do I develop more patients? How?
How, because we have not been taught a lot of these things where they've been just giving us lip service. We didn't have proper role models to show us really how this plays out in the real world.
And then he warned him against bad deeds. When I heard the colonists, he will Adam Schiff in America, don't, you know, act with contempt towards other people with disrespect towards other people, and do not walk on Earth with pride.
Do not with arrogance do not do this. So it shows that he was teaching his son about so many aspects of life, you can't do this. And that's a proper audit. That's a proper audit of a person. And the last one that it describes him, that he's a wise man, he was being given wisdom by Allah subhanaw taala, they even still instructs his son how to speak in a moderate voice, and how to walk, it goes down to these details. And here where I want to conclude and wrap up, just so we as parents, we are supposed to hold ourselves accountable for how we treat our spouses and our kids, how we educate them, we're supposed to see how much time we'll put in how much we put in how much connection and
love and mercy that we have in this relationship, how much input we have, rather than being passive. Rather than being you know, just seeing the kids every now and then. No, spend time invest, that's the best investment for you. Because as the scholars have indicated so many times that whatever you children, whatever good your children do is going to go automatically to you
is going to go automatically to you whatever good deed your children do, that will be written in your, in your records of and your folders of good good deeds automatically shaken Islam and Tamia has explained this so beautifully. He says, Whatever you son does, whatever your daughter does, and that goes to your grandparents, grandchildren as well, whatever good they do, is going to come back to you because you've been a cause in their existence. And if you've been a cause in their education and the righteousness, then you have more reasons to get more reward from Allah subhanaw taala for that. So keep this in mind. Let's hold ourselves accountable. It's the end of the Gregorian year.
Yes. But why not do an audit of your parenting style? How much time do I give my children? What can I don't expect you to change things and make things better? Why not? Do it as you do it financially and see how things go? So we asked Allah subhanaw taala to help us fulfill our responsibilities to Him and His creation. Allah muslim Nina Minato Muslim in our Muslim at m&m World and what Allama fildena Then when our Salafi Emelina with a bit Akadama now on sadhana, oh, mil caffeine, Allah MacWilliams phenomenal meaning if equally makan Allah Dima masala Geraldo wife of other Hindi now more email Bureau hermetic Al Hamdulillah. I mean, look at Neff dunya Hassan at an awful
lot cleaner either but now Salah was similar article was really cool Muhammad Ali. He was happy
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