Channel: Moutasem al-Hameedy
My brother happens to hurt you, you become angry, you tend to insult and deal with him harshly. Should this be the case? Stay tuned.
All praise is due to Allah, we praise Him. We seek his aid and we ask for his forgiveness. We seek refuge in Allah from the evils of ourselves, and the evils of our actions. Whomsoever Allah guides, non chemists guide and whomsoever Allah leaves to go astray, non can guide and I bear witness that none has the right to be worshipped, except Allah alone, who has no partners. And I bear witness that Muhammad is His Servant and Messenger. Dear viewers, salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. Welcome to a new episode of your show. For the sake of Allah. I'm your host Mata Samad Hamidi. Today we have with us the brothers with Mohammed bin Abdul Rahman Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa
As human beings, sometimes we get upset. And when a person gets upset as the messenger sallallahu Sallam said to a person,
do not become angry, do not become angry, do not become angry, and he's oriented. Another one if you make if he becomes angry, that he should sit down, if he's standing, he should sit down. If he's sitting down, he should lie down. And he directed us all will do as well that and and he said that anger is from Chez Panisse from the fire the Hellfire, and you can extinguish it extinguish the anger by making will do. So anger is the enemy of human beings. And we know anger will, in terms of health, and medicine, it has serious effects on the health of the person. And will will we are concerned with it has serious effects on brotherhood. Because when we get angry, we tend to behave
in a different way. Sometimes we insult people, sometimes we offend them, without real intention, but because we don't we lose control of ourselves. And from the most important things that people fall into is insults. When we get angry, we tend to be harsh with others, sometimes insults come out of our mouth. And this is a serious issue. Because no one likes to be insulted. And as we said that the honor of the person is something sacred. You can't violate the honor of a Muslim, or even anyone else, you shouldn't violate people's honor. It's their right to keep their honor. So when you insult someone you violate his honor. If someone Abdurrahman someone comes to you, and he insults you, He's
worse at you, for example, how would you feel towards that? Brother? if, let's say you were close to him, and one day he becomes really angry, and he says something bad to you? How would you feel about about this? And how would you feel towards him after that?
Of course, when, when and when and when it happens? I'll be very disappointed, which is a normal side effect or reaction. And I'll be surprised, because we will close. It's not like someone in the street. And it will affect our brotherhood and our friendship. Because
we do like Brotherhood is based also on respect. So when he he insults me, even though he may be while he was in a bad mood or whatever.
Still, it affects the respect and the respect affects the relationship.
That's yes, no, and it will hurt that the brother gets get insulted. You'll be surprised. How did he How did he say that to me? How did he say it? It's not easy, because when it comes to honor people, most people they don't give up. They can't compromise when it comes to honor to honor your dignity. Can he speak to me in that way? Because so this is why we have to follow the prophetic way in dealing with anger. When you get angry, if you are standing it helps your standing sit down to help you calm down. If you are mean sitting down, then lie down it will help you suppress and get rid of the anger. It helps otherwise because the consequences of anger are always destructive.
When we make decisions in a state of anger, we make the wrong decisions. The wrong decision, any more rational, or emotional that and usually when when when we get to that state of anger, and we react even even though a brother, maybe he was wrong to us. So we got angry on him. Usually, if some, most of the time you regret the way you react, because even though you were right, you could have talked to him in a nice way, the way he got the angry way you got. And you may tell him a word that you would regret that you may talk in a bad way that you would regret later on. Yeah, so the result of anger and acting upon that is mainly regret, you'd regret that. If you make a decision in
a state of anger, it won't be the right decision, mainly? Because you can't you have no control over yourself. Yeah. So how, what do you think even almost everything the human being does, is a decision making? of because everywhere you speak, it's a decision making. You're making a decision what word to say, who to say to unhealthy to say it. So when you are angry, you're making the wrong decision when you deal with your brother and you insult him? Have you come across incidents hammered where someone really got angry, and that had some evil consequences?
Actually, I want also to add a little bit an insult those who can be like giving advice in our own way, isn't it like some people take it as an insult that they are giving
the token advice in an in a bad way. So that also happens, like people have pride as, as you said, So giving advice, not in a good way, not in a smart way, not in the etiquette of Islam. It's like
being essential to them. So 100 level,
within the Brotherhood, there's like minor issues about that, that happens in like, insulting something, someone or saying a bad word or something like that. So it's like, very, very minor hamdulillah within the Brotherhood, me coming up with something like that. It's not it's rarely 100 lambda, you just accidentally hear some guys in the street something saying things like that bad words, or something I've ever slept in the bathroom at all.
talked about that. It was gonna be a day where people curse people was their parents. And that happens a lot nowadays, saying You son of you. I don't know what your mom your. And sometimes it even happens.
Unfortunately, jokes, and some some people they don't mind. And I tell them how come you don't mind. He just swear that you mom, he's like, he's a friend. He doesn't mean it. And this happens a lot these days. Yeah, here in the West, everywhere. And we should be careful when we deal with our brothers that we don't. And sometimes we don't sound some people are so used to it because of the environment. They come from the way they were brought up. So what happens? They are used to insults you see that the Father always insults his children, the mother does the same. So this is how the son is going to come up to the people. So some people, they don't really, they're just so used to
it, that it carries no meaning. So when he deals with other brothers, he some bad words come out of his mouth. And He's surprised when his friends get offended. So this white stamp calls the people to good conduct. And the process of SLM said, well, whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, they let him speak that which is good, or let him remain silent. Well, this is how Islam is we speak that which is good or remain silent. And if we look into the way we what we speak, and the way we behave, we would find many statements that are not correct, and that constitute insult to others, but we don't realize, because we're so much used to them. So this is why we have to be careful and when you
are given advice by a brother with regards to what you say, then take that advice. contemplate on that and benefit from it because it's very important and some people are very sensitive. What do you say to them and how you react to them.
This is why the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was always countries people we know about the story of the for example, the bedroom who came and urinated in the masjid. And the companions wanted to stop him and some of them want to hit him off. But the process of said let him Let him finish. Don't stop him. Let him finish. And after that, he said to him, this message it is for the prayer is for the remembrance of Allah. Will urination is that's not the right place for that. So the man really liked that. You see how and he said a lot
Have mercy upon me and Mohammed. And I mean, I don't have mercy on anyone else for the process. And I said, Well, you might so wide thing and you have confined it till both of us. the mercy of Allah covers all humanity, if they apply the religion of Islam and they worship our last panel to Allah alone, and they follow the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam insults is a very important thing, and a common
occasion where people tend to insult one another, his arguments
with arguments are inevitable, the husband and wife,
son, father and son, mother and son, mother and daughter, this always happens, arguments, arguments, this because people everyone starts to defend his point of view, and becomes a personal thing. And we tend to insult because we lose control sometimes. Did you think that arguments is a very destructive things? It is it is, actually, if if people are not knowledgeable enough, or patient enough, it could lead to most consequences, bad consequences.
Like arguing about, like, sooner Salah or something like that? It happens a little bit occasionally. But the argument is it within limits. And you don't see that the extent to argument reaches out to raising voice and things like that. But still, you could sense that, like, it happened that some people
tend to be a little bit sad from this argument or something like that, or take it personally or something like that. But hamdulillah
most of the time, it's clear out and hungry. Yeah. Well, yeah. What do you think about arguments generally mean like,
like what Muhammad said. And also, it's something that we cannot prevent, but it's something that we could control, and usually an argument, the devil, and the human desires come up pride, devil, which
tells you stuff like, oh, he just touched your pride. You cannot leave him. Sure him hate him. Yeah, so argument happens. This is the nature of life and of humans, but we have to control it. Yeah, this even Allah subhanaw taala directs the prophets, the loading send them because you hit a very good point, I'm man pride, it's a matter of pride. When it comes to pride, you will do anything. And this is from shavon. Allah, there is the Prophet sallallahu Sallam when he says,
which I did humility, he asked him and argue with them in the way that is best in the way that is best. Even they are disbelievers, argue with them in the way that is best. And this is how Muslims should be when they present an Islam, we should argue with the people in the way that is best. Be gentle.
Be open to everything they say. And be understanding, be tolerant, be patient with them. Because even though they are non Muslims, you have to open your heart for them. And you have to be sincere with them. But let us deal with them. argue with them in the way that is best. Don't insult them. Don't be harsh with them. Don't swear at them. And don't try just to win an argument. It's not about pride, if you're arguing it has to be for the sake of Allah, not for the sake of your pride. So if you make a wrong point, and it shows that or comes turns out to be a wrong point, then admit that I made a mistake. There's no problem with that. Because we're human beings. We are not perfect. We'll
learn more about arguments and about insults and how destructive they may be to the relationship of brotherhood. We'll stop for a few minutes. And I say to our viewers, stay with us. We're coming back shortly. Insha Allah
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Salam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh Welcome back. Now Hamdulillah, we saw through things that we mentioned, and some of the Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu wasallam, that we should control ourselves at the time of argument. And we don't insult other people that we don't cause them to lose their dignity or the sense of honor, we should always respect people, even if we disagree with them over some point or another, we should still be brothers to one another but not insult. And when at the time of argument, it becomes a personal thing. Will everyone wants to assert himself prove himself to be right. And this court might cause him to do anything, anything to prove his point. And
this is not the case with the Muslim. Because if you make a mistake during the argument, well, there's no problem. We all make mistakes, agree to that. Don't insist on that which is wrong. And then you start to insult the others and speak to them in politely it's not the way the Muslim should behave himself at the time of argument. And this follows from the verse,
which I didn't want to hear and argue with them in the way that is best. This is our methodology. When we argue that we still argue with people with good manners, we keep our manners, and we do not consult others. Now, maybe you have seen through different examples in the masjid. And unfortunately, this is the case. In many methods, many mosques, many people start to argue and it causes them to insult one another, didn't you? Haven't you seen that? Didn't you agree with this? I do agree with what do you think it's quite a bad thing that happens. Of course, in the whole oma as you have mentioned this happens a lot in
most marriages around the world. Maybe not maybe in a non Muslim country also. So you hear about the stories from brothers that are coming from abroad, about arguments happens in the in the local area, Masjid, which is a common but it has to have a certain limits the argument of course, it's really a sad thing to see in the message. I mean, it's the house of Allah subhanaw taala. And people argue with one another. And you can hear our can see that they insult one another because I want to prove myself. Well, at least let's have respect for the house of Allah the masjid.
They are these are our brothers. But if you want to do away with this till at least respect the masjid. But our main concern here is Brotherhood is I mean, one of the foundations of the Muslim society of the Muslim character. So we pay attention to that we don't sacrifice this brotherhood for the sake of winning an argument. It shouldn't be the case. Don't you agree with that? Yes, it shouldn't be the case that just because of because if it's because of the pride,
or because we just want to win the argument. Therefore, first of all, the argument is not really true. It's this fakeness in it. It's not for the sake of Allah. It's not for the sake of its truth. And most of the time also, it's for minor problems. Exactly. minor issues, not minor, not basic issues. Yeah. Some people when they fall into an argument, will they say we can't get out of it, we have to prove once you get it's just like a trap. If you are in it, you can't get out of it. So they find themselves involved in it. And they want to win the argument no matter where they go with any means necessary to win the argument, and might be sacrificing that brotherhood, insulting a Muslim
which is not the case. We all know the case with the true believers. The prophets Hillary was sending them a promise the great reward for those who give up arguments. And he said as an as a man. And as a man beaten the robot agenda. I'm the leader, or I'm the leader in the house, in the middle of gender on the highest part of gender of Europe and gender in one generation. He said the man Tara kalimera, our in Canada and for anyone who abandons arguing, even if he's a punk, he's on the truth.
He's on the right and the other people they have
argument, he abandons the argument, he gives up that argument for the sake of maintaining that brotherhood, you see, then he will enter that house with a message of some will be the leader. So in the best place of gender, the best place of paradise. So the process, Adam is directing us, when you fall into an argument, read that if it doesn't become, which is the stage of becoming mirror for, for the sole sake of argument, not for the sake of a lost battle to win the argument loses reason, and becomes just an argument for the sake of winning, then it is no longer for the sake of a loss penalty. And so you should leave that. And this is what the Muslim should do. And there is no
benefit in that argument. It doesn't become, for example, a rational argument where we can reason with that person, then you should abandon this, and avoided. Why because you can prove clearly that you are not arguing for the sake of your pride, or proving yourself but you are arguing for the sake of Allah to make the truth apparent and clear. So if you no longer can do that, abandon the argument. You see how it works out. So we must as Muslims, we should pay attention, and we should be concerned with our love. Yes, it's something recommended in the Sharia, that we maintain our brotherhood that we look after it, that we enhance it. So if there is something that destroys this
brotherhood, keep away from that. We keep away from the will we see this beautiful brotherhood that we have in Islam, and how Islam has fit the rulings in order to protect it and enhance it. And you talk about the rock man, you have brought something or you have written something about brotherhood, would you like to share that with us, of course, wrote something talking about brotherhood, Islam and brotherhood in general.
Nowadays, the backstabbing has raised, as well as the envy, jealousy that causes hate. There's rarely trust and truthfulness between the person and his mate. Even because of these reasons, then justice and the crime rate has increased because of the lack of values and believes that Islamic brotherhood came to cure this injustice and to offer love, true lasting friendship, things that won't make you suffer. mutual respect, forgiveness, and fair exchange. But why do some people reject the truth? Isn't that strange? Islamic brotherhood brings peace in the heart, on the earth and in the mind, and is the ideal, truest and fairest way for all? mankind? masan. So it's a very beautiful
thing that we have the values that we have in Islam, with regards to dealing with our brothers, and how to maintain this love and enhance it. And something that is common and arguments.
Well, it's a clever way in human relations, that when you argue with a person, and he doesn't seem to see the truth, or his vision is being blurred, but some some kind of misconception or misunderstanding, try to make that person through reason arrive at the conclusion, which is your viewpoint and maintain his dignity throughout the argument. I mean, make him feel that the idea is his is you're not imposing someone because we as human beings, we don't like to have things imposed upon us know, we'd like to arrive at an idea by ourselves. And it's good that when we speak to people, we don't force them to believe something we don't say, Okay, this is something you have to
believe in it, no reason with them so that they can arrive at that conclusion. And they feel it's their idea. Okay, it's my own rational thinking that made me arrive at this conclusion. This very conclusion. This one, a main part in Islam is how the prophets allow it. It was used to argue with the disbelievers and this is what we find in the Quran we say, Allah subhanaw taala says, say to them, Look, who created the heavens and the earth and all the universe, they would say, Allah say to them, who controls everything, and he's the one who accepts intercession. They would say Allah, so say to them, Do you worship other than Allah then you see how you take them step by step to your
argument, you reason with them, it's not you have the process. I'm didn't come to them and say to them, you have to worship Allah, abandon all your idols, no, but there was reason and the process is obviously step by step and even Allah, Allah clarifies in the Quran,
that we shouldn't swear the idols of the disbelievers. Look, it's an insult to them because to them, these are their gods. These were the gods and so they used to
sent to them in worship, they used to respect them. Now you wouldn't sell them, there's an insult to them, it will block that part of that bridge that effect that you have with them. So, a lot of rhetoric, the prophet SAW some and the Muslims, not to insult their idols less they would, and solve a loss penalty elsewhere at Allah. So you see how it works out in Islam? that reason, when you argue with people reason, and make them keep their dignity, don't insult them. Don't attack, I mean, their position, or the under. So we hear these words, you're stupid. That's really stupid. How do you say this? This is not from this. These are not the manners of Muslims. also heard that the prophet SAW
you better whoever talks to you gotta listen.
Not just interrupt. And be Yeah. And just give him what you want to say. No, you got to listen. So that he listens to you? Yeah. What do you think the Muslims can do to avoid arguments in the masjid? And especially we see, you know, in the Farsi that the Muslims dispute with one another.
Those who don't know about Islam, they see Muslims arguing, and they're having these differences, and they don't respect one another. What do you think first impression would be from these people who don't have a clear idea about Islam? Well, they will think that we have a strong a weak oma, we have a weak nation. In fact, it's
the opposite. But still, you can
show that by making, like having mutual interaction with with each other in a simple and polite way. You don't have to stick around with the minor issues and things like that. But
it helps also the non believers to attack the Muslims in, in, in various ways in daily life. So it's like, weakens the home as you said. Yeah. So actually, it's very important issue to present to the rest of the world, the Islamic manners, Islamic character, as we said, especially when we deal with one another, you can see Muslims sometimes, unfortunately, I say, they insult their brothers in the faith. They don't respect them. They don't show enough respect to them. And they all have this is all it comes emanates from a false sense of pride. Will Okay, well, I'm on I'm on the right, and you are wronged. So
people start to insult one another, you are wrong, because you are deviant. You are a sinner, you are away from it, you are out of Islam, you are all this. Sometimes, well, there are people who really reach a degree of deviation where they just get themselves out of the religion of Islam. But I'm talking about simple arguments that happen every day, among Muslims and especially to in front of non Muslims when they see the Muslims deal with one another and that way, it just turns them away completely from the religion of Islam. So inshallah we will try to understand these etiquettes. And when we deal with our brothers, remember that you shouldn't sacrifice this brotherhood for the sake
of your self pride, fear of loss penalty. And remember the example of the Prophet sallallahu, wasallam and reverse, which I didn't believe he is, and this is even with the disbelievers and with the people of the book. So what about our brothers in faith, we should respect them and never ever insult them, control ourselves, control ourselves. Pride does Aquila hang on for being with us? I hope this has been a beneficial
episode that we could apply what we can benefit from it. And I say to our viewers, desert moolah, home for being with us was Salam alaykum. warahmatullahi wabarakatuh