Dealing with Difficulties and Crisis #2

spirits above mighty and I said prayers and blessings upon

salatu salam because noble family righteous complainers and all those and follow them

today with judgment I mean

please take out your cell phones

you look surprised

you're gonna take all your cell phones and give them to charity

take out your cell phones

I'm not kidding

take your cell phones out

I know you have a cell phone every single person on the planet almost as a cell phone you know even the brother you don't have one

How old are you

14

Next year I'll tell your father to get yourself

got your cell phones up

Okay,

please go to this link

can you read the my hand my writing here

please go to this

link

focus systems maybe it's not clear www.surveymonkey.com/are/this is a forward slash.

Everybody go to the site please. I'm not kidding. Every single person with their cell phone. Everybody doesn't have internet yet. Go to the notice picture. Activate your internet.

Everyone has internet. Right? Most people think okay, if you don't have slash our forward slash J R

3x

Seven. W z. The magic doesn't happen to have internet does it? Brothers

Wi Fi

did you arrive you got it? Okay, you see the survey?

You see it you see the form all right now

once everyone has it before you begin once everyone has it on their phone please just

set an XOR times it's eight right?

Yes x x

j r 3x Seven WC

okay

who doesn't have it yet? Raise your hand

who did not reach it yet?

Over Allah bless you. Okay, so and this is the range is good. Anyone can use it. How do they connect now?

Yeah, please. So the brother mashallah has volunteered to give you internet and I love this

this was not flat just came upon us

just wait Don't start yet.

Oh, you have to give me an idea of course.

This is for people who don't have internet Okay.

Okay

how many people

how many people do not have

did not get the

form yet?

Everyone has it except a few sister okay.

Do you have the internet?

password so the connection has been evil 46 lt Do you see it?

And then the password is Viva in capital Viva and capital four to 991

Okay

everyone ready

right

everyone ready

capital letters

42991

Okay

I think everyone has it

okay. People are still trying to

just tell me when you're ready

including the organizers, organizers also yes, please also connect

ready

I will just I just gonna explain really quick

why the first few questions I believe are self explanatory.

This sister was saying how religious This is not the time for modesty brothers and sisters. This is not to say no, I'm not religious, may Allah forgive me? No, this is your best attempt to characterize yourself

in terms of religiosity, okay, be as honest as possible. Otherwise, the survey will be useless. Please be honest. Okay, and give you direct answers. All right. If you are considered a very religious person, Hamdulillah, that doesn't mean you're going to gender. You're not saying I'm going to gender. If you say I'm very religious, it means that for all practical purposes, based on your environment, based on your level of

implementation of Islam, you're considered a very religious person, right?

Okay, I think that's fairly easy. Number five, look at number five.

Look at number five, please. The more people participate in this, the more that will be of use insha Allah

to me.

Number five, so during the crisis, which of the following is most required? All right, so you're going to rank them in order of importance, which one you feel is most important? If you feel it is the most important one, then put it as a one. Not as a five. F it is the most important thing to have in the time of a crisis. Put one and then gradually do the rest. Okay. So five is the least important that one is the most important. Yes. System. Can we write more than one? No one needs to be one. Yes. One that will be the only one. Yes, exactly. Okay, so that's number five. If you feel there's another one that should be mentioned you get put other. Okay, number six, you see that there

are a bunch of squares. So the difference between the squares and the circles before is that this the squares you can do? You can put multiple options. So when stressed I usually you don't have to pick one. Pick as many as many as apply to you. Okay, not only one and again if you feel there's another one that's not mentioned in the list you can put other and specify what it is. All right. So the squares me

If you can choose more than one option, okay, seven is self explanatory, I believe, eight.

What's a serious life crisis?

Death

is definitely a tragedy. But as it is something everyone experiences,

it may not be considered a serious life crisis, someone died, you went through a difficult time, but you got through it and everyone does. Unless it affected you so badly that it was on a different scale, then that would be also characterized as a serious life crisis. So this is with regards to how to answer number eight, have you ever experienced a series like crisis? Something that affected you not for a day or two, but maybe several months? Or a year or more?

Okay, that could be obviously in different in different contexts, right.

Then the question on number eight,

clear.

Number nine, I think should be clear as well, again, multiple options, because sometimes one crisis may have you may describe it differently. That's it. Does it have to do with health? Or is it a personal family crisis? It doesn't have to do with religion or Diem? Is that question clear as well? And that's if you answered in the affirmative and number eight, so if you said the number eight Yes, I experienced serious life crisis, then you will tell me in number nine, what kind but if you said no, in eight, then you wouldn't have to

answer number nine. Clearly

not practicing

back

in the day for the first time, the police again, I don't call them we were not practicing before that crisis. And we can you could be under logistic short should okay, how long did the calamity last? self explanatory. Any questions?

Are you done with the survey or not yet? Finished? A lot that was quick. Anybody still doing the survey?

Just tell me once you're done?

already

answered honestly.

So

just to give us an idea of what's happening here,

about 50%

of our audience

between

35 to 50.

just better

to give us a better idea of what we're talking about.

And there's an equal percentage of those between 20 and 35. And those that are over 50.

Actually, not everyone participated.

They only have 30 responses. And we have how many people

like see about 100

Was that? Did you guys press Done? Once you finished?

Press Done.

Did you have to get a message back for messages coming.

I see it as a faxing. Tip now I only have 30 responses.

I'm almost sure every single one of you has a cell phone. If you don't the community will buy you

this much.

Like

more males and females have a problem

Most are happily married.

We're married

nothing about happily.

Okay. And have the level you want is fairly religious, somewhat religious, very religious, we have some modest people because not many people said very religious. Okay. Now

if we did this one properly

Oh, another disclaimer there are no right answers here

there's not a quiz

this is just to get an idea where we are how we think how we how we would deal with these situations. So there's no right answer you know you want to get the right answer. So, you don't have to say that the first thing and most important thing in the calamities fate, but mashallah 86 86.21% sent that the first and most important thing in the calamity is faith

Okay.

Already

the

one that was the biggest consensus there, alright. Number two, the highest percentage

okay, this is Faith

love, I mean, faith of course, is

the bedrock of

patients during the calamity. So,

number two

was wisdom.

Okay, and that was 16.87% Right, said that the next most important thing is wisdom. What is wisdom mean?

Wisdom to you in the context of a calamity

how

to apply knowledge to get out of the Columbian ship,

is Hickman

putting the right thing. This is the textbook definition of wisdom of putting things in the right place.

Different situations sometimes require different solutions, responses, solutions approaches, right. That's wisdom. Okay. So wisdom here may not necessarily mean how to get out of the problem.

Wisdom may mean, how to deal with it. Do I deal with it this way? Or that way? Should I be should I use this approach or that approach? You know, that type of thing. But anyway, that got many votes.

Number three, the highest percentage 54 450 5% was strength.

Of course, strength was very important. If you're not strong enough to weather the storm, you're gonna have problems. Strength here also means patience, right to be patient enough to withstand number four, the highest percentage was 40 40.91%.

And that was flexibility.

What's flexibility in the context of a crisis?

willing to compromise,

willingness to compromise.

Only one solution, seeing more than one solution.

Thinking out of the box, being flexible, not letting in hamper the aspects of your life.

Not affecting other aspects of your life. Right. We need to change. Yeah, you might have to change the way you think, Oh, you're gonna change the way I've been doing things for 30 years. But yeah, well, if it's not working, then maybe we have to try something new. Right. What else?

course correction. So I've been going on this path. I thought it's proper, but it wasn't. Maybe there's something I need to change.

At number five, the highest percentage was 47.

For the or above 48% of that was held.

Hold this

strikes me why this always comes, let's

try this now several times, because you're not in the right mindset, no matter what helped you get there not going to be changed you, you'll be rock hard your conviction or consultant, once you're in the calamity, don't you want to seek assistance, you want to depend on yourself. Unless you're flexible, if you're not strong, no matter how you get, okay, they can do whatever they can in their own mind, but you got to do your own part of it, they'll help you to be strong. They can sometimes.

You know, I don't want to Yeah, that's a very good point. I don't know if I want to make you know, like a earth shattering conclusion based on this. But let's put it this way.

It is quite common

in let's say, Arab and Muslim societies, to possibly want to, you know, solve things

on their own within their own circle without, that's not always.

It's not always a good thing.

You can't always keep something in sight. Sometimes you need to seek assistance, to seek help individual perception, I need the properties are set up since one day tells the Sahaba Come, let's all go together and see so and so why, to help him solve his debt.

Who does this nowadays?

Come Brothers is a brother we know. And he has a major, let's all go and see if we can help.

So Allah, only the prophets of Allah says, right? So

sometimes people need help. And because a Muslim in general, has this set neffs they have a certain dignity, right? So maybe they feel it's wrong, to seek assistance to seek help. Okay. This is just on an official level,

an unofficial level, if you talk about seeking official help, the percentage will be even lower. Even though nowadays, the idea is starting to get some traction, that you know, going for some kind of counseling with a professional or Muslim professional, you know, that type of thing.

You only asked us to scale those five, right? You did not throw up the help that you see which one? Absolutely. Just see that the highest percentage set foot to help last? That's all right. I really didn't say we didn't throw without it was just a matter of from just right click Yes, important, right. But it's funny how it's like everything else, it's all about the individual first, and help us all the way last, possibly in a different culture and a different

setting. People may say the first thing to do is to get help. I don't know.

I agree with you. It's very important what the sister said in the very beginning, which is, if I if you don't have all of these in the first place, get all the help you want. And they won't, you might benefit the shoe. But is this pointing to something, this is what I wonder, sometimes visual perception because some people like to like make in a state of shock. First of all, they want to get over it. So they want to be in peace and come with harmony within their soul and mind. So first, and then when they get over them, they start asking external, that's true also, but I'm not talking about the short term.

The calamity has happened. And it's been months, you know, six months for me individual perceptions, maybe as well as it was.

Maybe all these good things a wisdom is.

Finally up is the last resort. But that's why I've seen some times. Maybe in the beginning, you save yourself a lot of the trouble. Maybe you went to

a scholar, a knowledgeable brother, a sister, this is what happened.

Maybe you save yourself six months of running around not knowing what to do and

The answer is

the workshops.

The workshop,

the workshop, one of the workshops, I guess.

Right. Yeah, I that's why I'm saying I think it has to do with the way we are as Muslims that, you know, help is kind of like a last resort. Okay, depend on Allah have faith in Allah, that type of thing. I think that might be affecting possibly the answer, yes. We put first the least amount of strength can come through the hill. That's what I'm saying. Sometimes that can bring about some of that specialty, maybe the wisdom, the wisdom, I'm you know, I don't have that much experience. You go to somebody and he tells you Oh, yeah, you know, this is something we were dealing with just a few months ago, you know, that and they give you their experience anything else

okay, work together as a package.

So, this is number five.

When stressed are usually

the highest

this rate, mashallah, you know, all but we're all pious worshipers. You're giving me the right answer, or the real answer. I want to do pretty quickly.

That would be under Yeah, yeah. I pray I didn't put anything else. This is just to see to compare prayer and other things that come into I would come under prayer, right. So pray that the highest percentage mashallah 73.33%

would

go first to their Lord, pray

Allah to seek solace in your DUA and your digger. Right. All right. So prayer number two

is talk to a loved one. Okay, so that's basically seeking health. Right?

53.

Talk

to Allah.

next highest is sleep. Oh, that's a good one.

That's a big one.

Forget about your problems and go to sleep.

Maybe some people are like that. I happen to be one of them. If it's something that is just so overwhelming, it's just like, the best thing is to sleep.

Some people are some people cannot sleep, because they cannot stop thinking about it.

46 7% Okay. The next one is eat.

Right, come to that Kulu I'll tell you about

that.

Sometimes. My Truth can affect obesity. So binge eating is

correct. All right. And then

oh, wait, sorry. Sorry, this is because there's no decimal. So I didn't see there's a higher one.

I told you you're all pious worshipers. Mashallah.

40% here before me

40% And it is listening to religious talks

listening to religious touch.

So you will

and then the other ones are a little bit lower. Watch TV, internet 13%.

Same with other. I don't think Did you specify the ones who said

Oh, yeah.

You don't mind me mentioning because it's anonymous. I don't have any names. Just sit down. Work, cry. Discuss the problem with friends.

Cry as much as I can.

How to feel lighter make dua besides

educate myself on ways to handle the matter. Make dua make us calm. That's right. Consider that under free. Okay. The other one that is quite high

was 20% Call a friend. So that seeking help also kind of like

talk to a lot of listening to religious talks, something that would uplift you basically.

Okay, or attend? Maybe.

All right.

So there's always a light at the end of the tunnel.

The overwhelming majority said yes.

But this

there's some notes also

have you ever experienced

a life crisis?

This is where the flip flipping would have helped.

The man often.

Yes, absolutely. 56

Yes, absolutely.

So that's more than half saying yes. We've experienced a serious life crisis. Yes. Kind of

the next 130 3%?

Not sure. Six months six 7% very low. Not really three point 50%. So between Yes, kind of Yes, absolutely. We have about 90%

Right. Can I safely say that it is across the board.

So if someone tells you know,

Muslims never experienced life crises you can tell them otherwise, what kind was it?

The majority the highest is personal or pharmacy. Okay.

70 are going to start rounding 76%?

Financial

38%.

Health

35%.

Religious or deed?

21%.

Others 17%?

Not able to write that well because of the

other very few on security.

Other

Can I mentioned the others?

Yes or no?

Maybe so, maybe I'll leave some out.

Some of it is help.

Children being away from the deep

loss of a loved one profession.

Have it to do with work that might be under Financial death of a family member that could

become a serious crisis.

Okay.

Lastly,

how long did it last? Still going on?

What's the percentage

still going on.

45%

quite high.

Several months or many years 17% 21% Say one to two years.

21%

lot of people are still living this crisis

that's

related

to easier affairs on the

affairs of the