Wisdom of Luqman – #17

share this pageShare Page
Mirza Yawar Baig

Channel: Mirza Yawar Baig

Series:

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:00--> 00:00:13

Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu salam ala l mursaleen. Muhammad Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa, seldom at the Sleeman kathira cathedra, from mavado mighty sisters,

00:00:15--> 00:00:30

to close the loop Finally, on the issue of parenting, I want to draw your attention to and forgive me if I am repeating some things, but I think they are important enough for us to

00:00:31--> 00:00:38

repeat them and to remind ourselves again and again. And that is that even though

00:00:42--> 00:00:43

even though

00:00:45--> 00:00:50

I last ran out data, ordered obedience to parents, being kind to them,

00:00:52--> 00:01:04

being submissive to them, humbled before them, respecting them. All of these things, a lot of anatella enjoined upon the children, Allah subhanaw taala made in front of them, the children, Allah subhanho wa Taala

00:01:05--> 00:01:14

told the children to ensure that they behave with parents in this way. Having said all of that, Allah subhanaw taala also gave a

00:01:16--> 00:02:00

caveat, where he told the children to obey the parents as long as the parents are guiding them towards the obedience of Allah subhanaw taala but if the parents govern them to do schilke, if the parents tell them to disobey Allah, if the parents tell them to disobey, Rasul Allah, Allah Allah, then Allah said law to Allah, Allah said, do not obey them, do not obey them, the thing for us to understand and this is a very important thing. And very often we see this, which is that I always tell people, you cannot and you should not try to play with the source of your power

00:02:01--> 00:02:16

with the source of your authority, because if you try to play games with a source of your authority, you can only get hurt. Allah subhanho wa Taala is the source of our authority. Allah subhanho wa Taala is the source of our power.

00:02:17--> 00:02:34

As parents, we have the rights that we have, we have the duties that are enjoined upon the children with a V the parents are all because of the outcome of Allah subhanaw taala because of the order of Allah Subhana Allah

00:02:36--> 00:02:50

in a marriage, for example, the rights of the spouses on each other, the rights of the wife, and the husband, and the rights of the husband and the wife are because they have entered into matrimony they have

00:02:51--> 00:03:08

got married, they have gotten married according to the Islamic way. And therefore, the these rights and these duties are given to them, these are privileges and these are duties given to them by Allah subhanaw taala

00:03:09--> 00:03:34

automatically means that they will have these and they will be entitled to these as long as they keep their connection with their rough gela delallo intact, but if they break that connection, if they change that, then obviously, those rights and privileges will be taken away from them. Take for example, a person who marries a non Muslim,

00:03:37--> 00:03:56

Muslim marries a non Muslim, now automatically because this marriage itself is not permissible. Therefore, the non Muslim spouse cannot inherit from the Muslim spouse and the Muslim spouse cannot inherit from the non response.

00:03:57--> 00:04:30

So, if the husband is Muslim and the wife is non Muslim, when the when the husband dies, the wife is not one of his heirs, she will not inherit from him because she was not Muslim. Vice versa if the wife dies first and she was a non Muslim, the husband will not inherit from her, because a Muslim cannot inherit from a non Muslim. And that is why we have to understand that rights and privileges that we have, whether it is in the in the case of

00:04:31--> 00:04:43

marriage as spouses, or whether it's in the case of parents and children. They all derive from Allah Subhana Allah Allah, Allah, Allah and Allah subhanho wa Taala

00:04:44--> 00:04:59

give them to us for a reason. And as long as we keep our relationship with him, jell o jell o intact, we are entitled to those rights and privileges. But if we if we allow that relationship

00:05:00--> 00:05:42

To weak and to sever, then we will deprive ourselves from of the rights and privileges that Allah gave us, quite apart from attracting, may Allah protect us his anger and his punishment when we meet him. So while talking about the obligation of children to obey the parents, it is necessary also to remember that parenting is a responsibility. When obedience is ordained for children, their tarbiyah is ordained for the parents. Obedience is ordained on the children, and the tarbiyah is audit on the parents, parents today seem to have this

00:05:44--> 00:05:58

funny idea of parenting, which seems to be absolutely Akin, and the same as keeping a pet. Right. So if you have a pet cat, or a pet dog, or a pet goat or something,

00:05:59--> 00:06:51

all that you really need to worry about is to ensure that this pet is groomed, properly bathed regularly, has a comfortable bed to sleep in, it's kept warm in the winter, it's, it gets enough food, if it gets sick, then you you know you take it to the doctor, and so on and so forth. Just physical needs basically, as long as physical needs are taken care of. You can say well, you are a good pet owner because you're taking care of the physical needs of the pet, the pet has no other needs, as long as you're keeping it dry and warm and well fed. That is it. People seem to think that raising a child is just like that. The pet has four legs, the child has two legs, that's the only

00:06:51--> 00:07:29

difference. Right the pet is a mammal, the child is a mammal, La La La La Villa de la isla de my brother and sisters a huge there is a huge difference between raising pets and raising children. Right I know you are not going to say that, you know it is the same and you're an even though you might be raising your child in exactly the same way as you're raising your cat. But you won't admit that but you will see the results of it if that's what you're doing. Because children need therapy, children need to be raised. Children need to be given values and ethics and morals. Just yesterday, for example, I was doing this,

00:07:30--> 00:07:33

this webinar on entrepreneurship.

00:07:34--> 00:07:52

Many of you would have seen that if you haven't seen it, it's there on the on my yahveh vegan associates, YouTube channel go and see, I hope you will find it interesting. The topic was how to be a successful entrepreneur. Now the organization which

00:07:54--> 00:07:59

which invited me for this webinar, and which was running this webinar, they even had a

00:08:00--> 00:08:26

they had a link where you had to register for it. So you just couldn't, you know, float in from somewhere you had to register for the webinar. So people registered and hamdulillah there were 444 people live participants for this webinar. And I think that's one of the signs of the power of the internet that we can get so many people together in one

00:08:27--> 00:08:31

in one cyberspace, they're obviously not together physically.

00:08:32--> 00:08:48

But you can talk to so many people so the reach and so on as much is very high. Anyway so they are registered now just before I was about to begin I'm talking about therapy about raising children giving them the right values and ethics. So just so the

00:08:50--> 00:08:57

one of the organizers knows my very good friend, the managing director of idea fresh food.

00:08:59--> 00:09:02

Mr. vc Mustafa, he said to me,

00:09:03--> 00:09:11

he said Chuck, when you put up the i was i was using a presentation of a PPD PowerPoint presentation. He said when you share your screen

00:09:12--> 00:09:55

go up to the top you know where the thing and then a three dots press on that. There you are, there's a drop down menu and there it will be it will there's a selection called disable annotations. So do that disabled and I said what is annotations? He said you know, otherwise people will come and they will draw lines on your on your presentation they will try to destroy I mean, it was absolutely amazing. I said what on earth Why would anyone want to do that? right why would anyone want to draw a lines on somebody else's presentation and and spoil it and what what do they get out of that? So anyway,

00:09:56--> 00:09:59

I I said okay, so if you if he's telling me to do it

00:10:00--> 00:10:00

Do it.

00:10:01--> 00:10:15

It's so happened that when the presentation started and I put up the put up the slides, before I could go and disable the annotations, I suddenly find four, three or four yellow lines across my screen.

00:10:17--> 00:10:50

I was shocked, I was absolutely shocked. Anyway, now I disabled annotations that I reordered the presentation. And I was able to get rid of the of the of those lines. But my point is, here was somebody who registered for this presentation. So it is not somebody who just floated it, this person registered for the presentation, they obviously stopped doing whatever else they were doing, they took some time out of their life, they came and sat in front of their computer. And all they did was to try to design presentation to draw lines on the presentation.

00:10:51--> 00:10:52

Why?

00:10:53--> 00:10:54

What do you get out of that?

00:10:57--> 00:11:13

Now there is also a button there, which says identify the person making the annotations. Now I could have done that I could have clicked on that, I would have got the name of the person. And I could have shamed that person before for 100 other people.

00:11:15--> 00:11:19

I decided I am not going to lower myself to that level.

00:11:20--> 00:11:33

So I didn't do it. in the chat in the present in the in the in the zoom, somebody wrote that somebody said please identify this person. I said no live, it doesn't matter. Allah knows who this person is.

00:11:34--> 00:11:35

Not Tell me How shameful is that?

00:11:38--> 00:12:13

how utterly shameful is that. And let me also tell you, the organization which organized which organized this thing is a Muslim Islamic Center in Bangalore. Now there were some non Muslims in this out of these 444 people, there were some non Muslims, but the vast majority were Muslims. So the likelihood, I'm not saying with certainty that it was a Muslim, but the likelihood that this was done by a Muslim was much higher than the likelihood of that having been done by a non Muslim. Just the numbers.

00:12:15--> 00:12:15

Right?

00:12:17--> 00:12:22

Ask yourself what kind of parenting is that whoever did that? What kind of parent does he or she have?

00:12:23--> 00:12:48

What kind of a human being is that? You take the time and the travel to go and register for a for a lecture on a serious topic. You go sit in front of a computer, you link you, you you click on the link, you log in, you do all of that, only to try to destroy the presentation, which is being made for the benefit of everybody. And I take no money for this. I was doing it for free.

00:12:50--> 00:12:58

how utterly shameful is that this is the result of very, very bad and poor parenting.

00:13:00--> 00:13:15

Right? That is why I'm saying that parenting is not like bringing up or bringing up a pet. Now many times ask people in parenting workshops. So how many kids do you have? So somebody says I've got two our three our four.

00:13:16--> 00:13:19

So then I tell them a kid is a baby goat?

00:13:20--> 00:13:21

goats have kids.

00:13:23--> 00:13:26

How come you have kids? You've given birth to a goat?

00:13:28--> 00:13:30

Or are you bringing your child up like a goat?

00:13:32--> 00:13:37

Do some grass, give him some leaves, put some water there and you think your job is to clean up?

00:13:40--> 00:13:42

Now brothers, sisters, please wake up

00:13:43--> 00:13:44

your children

00:13:45--> 00:13:50

insha Allah, a means of sadaqa jariya for you.

00:13:52--> 00:13:55

They are the means for you to earn gentlemen.

00:13:56--> 00:14:08

Don't make them into a source of Algeria for yourself. Ongoing punishment because of the way you either brought them up or didn't bring them.

00:14:10--> 00:14:17

Right. That'd be a Allah subhanaw taala ordained obedience for children and he ordained tarbiyah for

00:14:18--> 00:14:38

parents. Now, while the obedience to parents is not conditional upon the parents, being obedient to Allah, the children are adored, obey your parents, honor your parents, even if they are not obedient to Allah, even if they are not Muslim. Even if they deny our loss of our daughter altogether.

00:14:40--> 00:14:42

You know, still you obey them.

00:14:44--> 00:14:52

But it's very good to remember that if you want authority, then you have to honor the source from which you derive it.

00:14:54--> 00:14:57

And in this case, that source is Allah subhanaw taala himself

00:14:58--> 00:14:59

if you are not obedient

00:15:00--> 00:15:01

To Allah subhanaw taala

00:15:02--> 00:15:13

the desire to be obedient to you will leave the hearts of your children. And the same thing applies with the spouses. You know, many times people come to me.

00:15:14--> 00:15:31

Either parents come and complain about children or spouses come and complain about each other. And they tell me please speak to my wife and tell her the rights of the husband who speak 2000 and tell him the rights of the wife speak to the giant, tell him the rights of the parents.

00:15:33--> 00:15:42

So I tell them, I did all these people, I say, No, I will do that. I mean, inshallah, I've got no objection to that. But tell me Have you been fulfilling the rights of Allah?

00:15:43--> 00:16:02

Have you been fulfilling the rights of Allah subhanho wa Taala. Have you been fulfilling the rights of Rasul Allah, Allah? Did you raise your children did you bring up your children to respect Allah to respect to sources Allah? Did you bring up your children to obey Allah and to follow the Sunnah of Rasulullah Rasul?

00:16:03--> 00:16:12

Or were you among those who actually object who have a problem when their children follow the Sunnah of Russell?

00:16:14--> 00:16:19

The boys child is growing a beard the mother has got a problem the father's got a problem shave your beard.

00:16:21--> 00:16:24

The girl wants to wear a hijab the mother has got a problem the father got a problem.

00:16:26--> 00:16:37

The mother standard mothers especially they see mothers oh you will never get married. As I'm getting married is this is the purpose for which the girl is born Allah insha Allah Rama Calico Jennifer is

00:16:39--> 00:16:49

not created the man and the the the jinn and the human beings for anything other than worshiping me. Allah did not say I have not created the woman by anything other than marrying and getting married. No.

00:16:53--> 00:17:12

They were problems I already narrated to the story of this little girl who came up to me in in January in a school and what she told me so I won't repeat that here. But I've seen this so many times that of parents trying to force their children not to follow the Sunnah of Rasulullah

00:17:14--> 00:17:55

I know that parents there are parents who try to stop their children from going to the masjid I'm not talking about these COVID times I'm talking about general times when when massages were open and you are going even today massages are open those of you who want to go and pray as long as you're maintaining social distance. So as you can do that, but the point is that parents do not allow children there are there are parents that Muslim parents who will try to force their children not to go to the masjid not to follow the Sunnah of Rasulullah Salam and then they have a complaint when those children become rude, and when those children disobey them and so on is Oh this is so bad,

00:17:55--> 00:18:19

this is what my child is doing and so on so on. So he issue is that you are the one you taught your child to disobey Allah and you taught your child to disobey Rasul Allah says Allah, obviously you are not as as important as Allah and and the messenger Salah. So if you taught them to disobey Allah, then how is obedience for you willing to be in their hearts?

00:18:22--> 00:18:28

Right? I've seen parents doing all kinds of funny things. I've seen parents, emotionally blackmailing children,

00:18:29--> 00:18:33

especially in the issue of marriage, please understand is very clearly

00:18:35--> 00:18:36

in Islam.

00:18:38--> 00:18:46

The prospective bride and the prospective groom have absolute authority about who they will marry.

00:18:48--> 00:19:21

The parents have no rights, zero rights, to try to force their daughter to marry somebody or to force their son to marry somebody, they have no right whatsoever. If you force them, then you are committing a major sin and you are answerable to Allah Subhana Allah number one, number two, if you force them, then if the second degree of force, and I strongly, strongly strongly advise all prospective brides and grooms. If you don't have a backbone, don't get married at all.

00:19:23--> 00:19:29

If you are ready for marriage, you must have a backbone, which means that if you want to marry somebody,

00:19:31--> 00:19:31

then marry them.

00:19:33--> 00:19:55

If you don't want to marry somebody, then tell your parents Sorry, I'm not marrying this person. That's it. You are fully within your rights to do that. If you succumb and you marry the person that you don't want to marry, that you don't like that you are not compatible with, but you did that because my parents forced me, then be prepared for hell on earth.

00:19:56--> 00:19:59

Be prepared for destroying your own life and you

00:20:00--> 00:20:02

You are responsible, not your parents.

00:20:04--> 00:20:15

You are responsible, not your parents, because you are the one who did this, even though you knew perfectly well, that you did not need to do that.

00:20:16--> 00:20:28

There's a beautiful Hadith as a story for the Sierra, where this young lady came to a solar cell. And along with her, she had a few more of her companions.

00:20:29--> 00:20:35

And she said to us well as salaam, Yasser Allah, my father married me to my cousin.

00:20:37--> 00:20:47

I don't want to marry him. My father forced me. So I want you to pronounce or divorce. I do not want to marry Michael.

00:20:51--> 00:20:59

So Rasulullah sallallahu tried to advise her, he tried to tell her, you know, your father knows the best for you. I'm sure he wanted the best for you.

00:21:00--> 00:21:36

So it doesn't matter. You know, even if you didn't if you don't like him, he also asked him, he said, Is there anything wrong with that person? He said, No, nothing is wrong with it. He said, is there? Is there a problem with religion is easy. Are you objecting because he has bad habits? He is indulging and indulging in haram or he's not praying or something? Or he's got you know, there's a problem with religion. Is that the reason why you are? She said, No. She said, I've got no problem with his religion. He's, he's practicing. He does not do anything Haram. You know, he is fit and fine. I just don't want to marry.

00:21:39--> 00:21:41

Why? What is the reason he said Jesus, not?

00:21:43--> 00:21:45

My father forced me I don't want to marry.

00:21:47--> 00:21:51

So as soon as our solemn said, in that case, I will separate the two.

00:21:53--> 00:21:57

I will rule that you are no longer married, I will break this marriage.

00:21:59--> 00:22:02

So then she does to the door company, then Jesus see.

00:22:05--> 00:22:13

I told you, the Father has no right to force his daughter to marry somebody she doesn't want to marry? And she said yes. Well, is this not true?

00:22:15--> 00:22:37

Yes, it is true. The Father, meaning father and mother have no right to force their daughter. Usually with sons they don't, that doesn't have a zone but applies to both son or daughter, to force them to marry somebody they don't want to marry. The parents do not have that. Right. So Sam said this.

00:22:38--> 00:22:50

So then this girl turns around, and May Allah protect us from I want to say, protectors from women until I suddenly remember I'm married. I've been married Angela, very happily for 35 years. My point is,

00:22:53--> 00:23:04

she then turns around Jesus jasola, please do not break up my marriage. I withdraw my supplication to my application to you. I don't want to divorce themselves or whatever.

00:23:05--> 00:23:37

Just now you were adamant about this thing, I can't be with him. He said no, Arizona. He's a nice person. He's my cousin. Everything is fine. I just wanted my father to know that he cannot force me to marry somebody of his choice. And I want my sisters which is that is his or her companion. I want my Muslim sisters to know what their right is that it is their right to refuse to marry somebody if they don't want to marry and they don't even need to have reasons for that.

00:23:38--> 00:23:49

Now Brandon says this is the this is the power that Islam gives you this is the the the freedom that Islam gives you as a woman. Now, of course, the same thing applies to you as a man.

00:23:51--> 00:23:53

Now, all of this Islam gives you

00:23:54--> 00:23:57

and you take this because you are Muslim, you take this from Allah subhanho wa Taala.

00:23:59--> 00:24:03

So along with that come the rights and privileges. Now if you are not going to

00:24:06--> 00:24:08

fulfill the rights and privileges,

00:24:10--> 00:24:12

then the authority also goes away.

00:24:14--> 00:24:27

Right? So please understand this. I gave you the example of marriage because that I'm combining these two things, parenting and, and, and marriage. Please understand,

00:24:28--> 00:24:41

nobody can force you to disobey Allah because Allah wa sallam said there is no obedience to the creator to the creature, to the slave in the disobedience of the Creator in the disobedience of Allah subhanho wa Taala

00:24:42--> 00:24:59

there is no obedience to parents there is no obedience to bosses. There is no obedience to spouses. There is no obedience to children. There's no obedience to rulers and governments, if they are ordering you to disobey Allah subhanho wa Taala then Islam orders you to disobey

00:25:00--> 00:25:55

them, but not to disobey Allah subhanaw taala so please understand that this is the very critical principle of Islam. And that is why Allah subhanaw taala said we're in jahad aka Allah and to sharika Bhima la sala Kabir l for Allah to clear Homer let's do not obey them was Hey Bahama dunia ma Rafa what tabria sebelah man Ana de la from LA Jamar Jiro calm for una buco, muy muy contento, my Lord, Allah said, but if they both strive with you, they try to force you to make you join somebody else in worship with me, others that are which you have no knowledge, then do not obey them, but behave but still but still behave with them in the world kindly and follow the path of the one who

00:25:55--> 00:26:46

turns to be in repentance and in obedience. And the first of them is Rasul Allah, Allah, and then Lhasa and then to me, will be your return. And I shall tell you what you use to do. This I mentioned, shirk, specifically, as that is the most serious of disobedience. But it extends to all forms of disobedience of Allah subhanho wa Taala. And also the law is sort of Selim, my brother and sister, please understand that parents are meant to guide their children, according to the book of Allah and the Sunnah of his messenger Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, when they fail to do that, they lose their authority and honor. And then it is not only not permissible for children to

00:26:46--> 00:27:06

obey them, but it is their duty to disobey them in those matters. In the matters where they want the children to disobey Allah, it becomes the duty of the children, to disobey them, but continue to obey Allah subhana wa Taala. Parents, also who

00:27:07--> 00:27:20

want to I talk to you about with regard to emotionally blackmailing and try to force children to marry according to the parents likes, not according to the like, of the child,

00:27:21--> 00:28:09

of the person getting married. The other thing, which I see, in some cases, quite a lot of cases, is the game playing that parents do, where they set one child against another child, where they talk behind their back, they, they favor one child over another child. And the problem with that is very sadly, this creates enmity between brother and brother, brother and sister, sister and sister. And it destroys the family. And the parents seem to do this because of their own internal insecurity. And they feel that somehow there's this psychological feeling that if my children get to get along well together with one another, then they will gang up on us and reject us. And so they they

00:28:10--> 00:28:36

literally, this sowed the seeds of discord among the children. So the children become each other's enemies and they're busy fighting, and the parents are the puppet masters playing this game. It's a it's a horrible, terrible thing. Right? These are toxic parents, these are parents who are azova children. Please understand Allah subhanaw taala sent parents to guide children to him Jelena

00:28:38--> 00:29:02

Do not be a parent, where somebody looking at it may say that this child would have been better off as an orphan, this child the parents should have died with a child with a baby, that child would have been better off rather than being brought up in a home like this, which is full of discard, which is full of all kinds of fit, fit and all kinds of of,

00:29:03--> 00:29:22

you know, tests and tribulations which have been created by the parents themselves. So it's very important to please understand that, secondly, also the kind of atmosphere in the home, a holiday hotel I've seen, atmosphere of such,

00:29:23--> 00:29:38

you know, jala, where between the husband and wife if there is a fight, there is the screaming and raving and ranting and cursing and there is no control on the tongue. That the moment you get angry, you say anything, you cursing,

00:29:39--> 00:29:59

your husband or your wife and the children are witness to all of this. Remember, this is what you are inculcating in them as desirable behavior and May Allah forgive you and May Allah forgive them. If they carry this forward, then they are they are going to look at ruined marriages. Because of you

00:30:00--> 00:30:09

That is a you brought them up, you brought them up to teach them you taught them that it is okay to abuse your spouse.

00:30:10--> 00:30:16

And whoever was doing that, whether it was the husband, abusing the wife or the wife abusing the husband, I've seen both.

00:30:17--> 00:30:22

I've seen both please understand is is not that the women are always the, at the receiving end of things they're not.

00:30:25--> 00:30:29

I've seen cases where the women are the are the are gross aggressors,

00:30:33--> 00:30:47

please understand is Allah Subhana, Allah is watching and Allah will hold you accountable for this behavior. And in that process, you're ruining the children, because you're giving them this kind of this kind of, you know, teaching them this, this is the culture that they're being brought up with.

00:30:49--> 00:31:13

Also parents indulging in open haram parents who are drinking alcohol, who are playing cards for money, who are going to the races and betting on horses, parents who consider it to be a badge of honor to introduce their child, and make the child a member of this so called exclusive, you know, gambling den and

00:31:15--> 00:31:41

and and this, you know, the ATA for alcohol, which is your club, you take your child and you make your child, a member of this club and they and you think you're honoring the child with child thinks he's being honored, you think you're doing a great favor to the child, that this child is now a member of this club, please understand those clubs, where you have become a member, a member of a club is a shareholder in that business.

00:31:42--> 00:32:03

So you are responsible, you are morally responsible for what happens in that business. Now that business is running a bar, that business is buying and selling alcohol, that business is indulging in all kinds of Islamic practices in the name of entertainment, in the name of affiliation, in the name of celebrating this and that.

00:32:04--> 00:32:19

And your fee, that you're paying the your club fee, your annual fee, the deposit that you pay to the club, the entry fee that you pay to the club, and for exclusive club, this is you know, a considerable amount of money.

00:32:20--> 00:32:27

All of that is going to fund these activities. Who pays the bill you are paying

00:32:30--> 00:32:41

and don't tell me oh but you know, I only use the gym I only go to the to the pool doesn't matter what you use or you don't use you are a member and therefore everything that is happening there. You are a shareholder in that responsibility.

00:32:43--> 00:32:51

And then you take your child and you introduce your child to that and you make your child a member of that club and the child is happy you are happy. How stupid is that?

00:32:52--> 00:33:01

how utterly stupid is that? So also race club memberships, membership of the box being a steward of the rest club.

00:33:02--> 00:33:10

You're establishing a gambling den and you are one of the stewards of this gambling den and you are a Muslim, the halala Hotel

00:33:13--> 00:33:18

sitting and playing Gods for money, you know every every evening in the club.

00:33:21--> 00:33:23

What happens if you drop dead in that same place?

00:33:25--> 00:33:32

You will be resurrected on the Day of Judgment with a with a with a glass of whiskey in your hand you will resurrect on the Day of Judgment with with the video cards in your hand

00:33:34--> 00:33:37

is that I want to die is that what is that how you want to resurrect it?

00:33:39--> 00:33:49

This is the atmosphere that you are creating in your home. And this is the atmosphere the culture you are creating as a parent. And then you want these children who are you know

00:33:51--> 00:33:54

Imam Hassan basri the second

00:33:56--> 00:34:11

the child must be I must been humbled the second law hotel How's it going? How is this going to happen? Tell me and then you are very well Oh my God, my child doesn't respect me. But how did your child wants who your child will respect whom? Somebody who's committing her?

00:34:14--> 00:34:26

Please understand, Allah subhanaw taala sent you to create a living role model to be living role models for your children. Let your children think of you.

00:34:27--> 00:34:33

When they are in difficulty, let your theory let your children call you and ask you to make dua for them.

00:34:35--> 00:34:38

Your child is gonna ask you to make dua when you are drinking alcohol or

00:34:39--> 00:34:45

they want to charge your child is going to follow you in in the risk lab and asked you to make dua while you are waiting on horses.

00:34:47--> 00:34:59

Or when your child may call you and make ask you to make dua because your child remember that you never missed it. That every time you're praying that you hamdulillah you're making up god you're doing Vicar of Allah, you're reading Quran and so on and so on. So you

00:35:00--> 00:35:08

A child was born and say Mom, Dad, please this is why I'm in difficulty. This is what I need. Please ask Allah subhanaw taala on my behalf please make dua for me which one is going to happen?

00:35:13--> 00:35:14

My brothers sisters, please understand this.

00:35:19--> 00:35:20

Ivanova Allah said

00:35:21--> 00:35:31

that the only responsibility of the mother is to raise our children to bring up our children. In Islam, the woman the wife has the right

00:35:33--> 00:35:35

to demand cooked food

00:35:36--> 00:35:41

from her husband husband is supposed to cook for his wife, or give her cooked food.

00:35:43--> 00:35:45

It's not her job to cook for him and his family.

00:35:47--> 00:35:49

If she's doing it, she's doing it on him.

00:35:51--> 00:35:55

Taking care of the mother in law father in law's not the job of the wife.

00:35:57--> 00:36:01

Taking care of your parents is your job. It's not her job.

00:36:03--> 00:36:09

Her she has only one job and that job is raising children raising responsible Muslim children

00:36:11--> 00:36:33

and you are supposed to support her and you are supposed to pay her and you are supposed to ensure that every need including cooked food is taken care of it's your responsibility. If she is also cooking the food if she is also washing clothes, if she's also taking care of the house, and she's also raising children and she is doing a huge ehsaan on you.

00:36:37--> 00:36:38

And then if you will treat her

00:36:40--> 00:36:44

prepared to face Allah subhanho wa Taala on the Day of Judgment.

00:36:48--> 00:36:54

My brother and sisters, children are our investment or they are our liability.

00:36:55--> 00:37:01

May can become a source of continuing benefit or continuing grief.

00:37:03--> 00:37:19

If we did nothing to bring up the child as a Muslim connected to Allah and Allah with good character and manners, a compassionate human being and a positively contributing citizen of the world than we are culpable before Allah subhanaw taala.

00:37:20--> 00:37:48

Raising children is not an activity to be outsourced to schools, and daycare centers, or iPads or iPhones or things like that, or gadgets. It is the primary responsibility of the parents primary responsibility, nothing is more important primary responsibility. They can use the schools or whatever resources they have to fulfill that responsibility. But the accountability remains with the parents.

00:37:50--> 00:37:55

See my book, I've written a book called raising a Muslim child. read that book inshallah.

00:37:56--> 00:38:36

And that is why it is very painful to see where parents create atmosphere in the home, which is far away from Islam, and then they blame society for being the corrupting influence on their child. So that is not the corrupting influence. You are the corrupting influence. One day somebody asked me, they invited me home they said please speak to our children. They are constantly watching television, the old and they're in front of the TV, please give them a talk. Tell them not to watch television. You know, what do you think I said you absolutely 100% I will really give them this talk and put the fear of God into them that they should not be watching television all the time. Just

00:38:36--> 00:38:38

tell me which one of them brought the television.

00:38:39--> 00:38:49

Which one of these kids brought the television into the house? Tell me I need to speak to that one first. Right? Because if we if that little kid had not brought the television into the house, others wouldn't be watching it.

00:38:51--> 00:38:53

As another father looking for places to hide.

00:38:56--> 00:39:03

You bring the television, you buy the television, you bring the television, you stick it in the house, you even call the room television lounge.

00:39:04--> 00:39:13

Then you pay for a cable connection. You do all of this and what do you think the children are going to sign in front of the television they want to you want them to stand and pray that

00:39:15--> 00:39:23

you create the whole environment for them for this habitat for them to ruin their lives, just sitting in front of the television watching some rubbish.

00:39:25--> 00:39:30

Even if they're watching the best program in the world, it's a waste of time because they're not going to do anything about that program.

00:39:32--> 00:39:37

This watch it will course enjoy and God now that hours of time spent

00:39:38--> 00:39:39

what benefit is that?

00:39:42--> 00:39:51

Who's responsible? You are responsible? You did you are the one who spent the money who bought it, whatnot, whatnot. And I know people people actually take loans and they pay interest

00:39:52--> 00:39:55

to get a big you know, 16 inch 18 inch television

00:39:57--> 00:39:57

screen

00:40:01--> 00:40:03

haram to do some more Hannah.

00:40:05--> 00:40:06

Sisters,

00:40:07--> 00:40:50

please understand that from the story of laquan alayhis salam, we are getting advice that is addressed by the father to his son. But the advice is for the father for the son for the mothers of the daughters. And as they say, the child is the father of the man. Meaning that, as is the child, so will be the man is the girl, as is the girl child, so will be the woman which means that if she grows up, when they grow up, that is what they're going to become. so selfish children, which are focused on toys grow into selfish men and women focused on wealth, for which they are willing to sacrifice both relationships and their own.

00:40:51--> 00:41:03

How many cases do is your family's breaking apart, over division of property, burning up in in mutual jealousy and unable to see the success of their own siblings?

00:41:04--> 00:41:29

Let us correct ourselves and take heed of what Allah subhanho wa Taala told us before the day comes when we will be called to account. ask Allah Subhana Allah to be pleased with you and never to be displeased. I asked Allah subhanaw taala to enable us to live our lives in a way which will be a means of clear and ongoing Baraka for us and not become a liability for us. Was Allah Allah Allah will carry while he was savage